June 2015 Facebook Posts

This page covers Chris's activity on his personal Facebook page in June 2015. He was also forced by events during this month to return to his protest group, FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!

Chris's new profile pic for June.

Summary

• 3 June - Chris announces a new batch of Amiibo for sale on EBay.
• 4 June - Chris trolls for pity after receiving a work-related injury.
• 6 June - The role of Punchy Sonichu in Super Smash Bros. is revealed.
• 7 June - Chris puts his transgender self on the cover of Vanity Fair magazine.
• 9 June - Chris makes plans to go bowling.
• 9 June - Chris flips out over the announcement of a new Sonic Boom game.
• 10 June - Chris makes a series of protest posts across Facebook regarding Sonic's arm color.
• 10 June - Chris discusses Magi-Chan in Super Smash Bros.
• 10 June - Chris explains the high cost of churning out Sonichu Amiibo.
• 11 June - Chris reposted edicts concerning the blarms protest.
• 12 June - Chris makes several more angry posts about the color of Sonic the Hedgehog's arms.
• 12 June - Chris reports on his experiences at his first burlesque show.
• 13 June - Chris complains about the renaming of a My Little Pony character.
• 14 June - Chris declares himself to be "pristine."
• 15 June - Chris amuses himself with stories of homosexuality in the animal kingdom.
• 16 June - Chris tries to sort out what being transgender means to him.
• 17 June - Chris reminds his followers that he has a coin for sale on EBay.
• 20 June - Chris makes several posts about a range of topics, including body hair, gender, and his heart level.
• 22 June - Chris announces a new EBay account, making an effort to get around the site's regulations.
• 24 June - Chris reviews the bar at the Impulse Gay Social Club.
• 24 June - After reading a book, Chris makes metaphorical connections between a house and his genitalia.
• 25 June - Chris repeats that he deserves to have a vagina.
• 25 June - Chris makes a number of brief comments about Hillary Clinton, gaming, and emotions.
• 26 June - Chris repeats that he feels like a woman, in the process demonstrating that he knows nothing about women.
• 27 June - Chris creates a new rainbow-themed profile pic and makes a series of brief trivial comments.
• 28 June - Chris lets everyone know how long his penis is.
• 28 June - Chris expresses confusion about how to behave in sexual situations.

Chris's Posts

More Amiibo

Chris linked to his Ebay page and wrote:

3 June 2015 It's time again; I have another ten ‪#‎Sonichu‬ ‪#‎amiibo‬ figures made and ready for quick sale and shipment!

Since this batch of Amiibo was not selling as quickly as the previous two he reiterated the next day:

4 June 2015 I repeat: I have another Ten Sonichu Amiibo Figures reinforced and ready for immediate sale and Next Day Shipment! Very Good Collectibles!

Chris Suffers for His Art

4 June 2015 Seriously. I work diligently, tough-hard, lovingly, on each Sonichu Figure. To actually be able to Hand Repurpose, with minimal model magic usage, paint and personally, metaphorically, give birth, and certify, Actual Figures of my own personal main Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon character... It is plain incredible and simply awesome to me. And I had a mishap when I started creation of this batch, on the morning of Wednesday, the 20th: I literally cut my left forefinger, near deep and bad, with a slip of my pocket knife. Fortunately, I had my last tetanus shot less than five years ago. I went to the emergency room; I had to get my finger numbed and stitched. They gauzed and splinted the finger; I've had to put up with that for nearly a week, during the healing and reapplication of antibiotic ointment and the band-aids and putting the gauze and splint back on. I just had the stitch removed this past Monday. And now I am feeling crestfallen that over a day has passed from relisting the figures, right after completing them, and no one is buying them. What the hell?

Kenneth offered:

I think a little set of miniature files that you use in jewelry repair along with a dust mask would work better.

Chris responded:

No, it would not.

William asked:

Do you have a first aid kit handy? What were you doing with the pocket knife?

Chris answered:

Prying a few portions off; glued on sections.

Punchy in Super Smash Bros.

6 June 2015 #‎PunchySonichu‬'s choice is Little Mac. They both like to box, although Punchy kicks too; better than just a Hitmonchan. Thinking of it, is the Smash Bros. fighting format appropriate to someone who boxes instead of wrestles? But then, who cares? It's Smash Bros. Also, let's vote for ‪#‎Sonichu‬ to be a DLC character in ‪#‎SuperSmashBros‬., for future possibilities of More Sonichu and ‪#‎Rosechu‬ Stories directly from me, in addition to potential comic pages, I would appreciate that. https://cp.nintendo.co.jp/us/ Tune in Next Time for ‪#‎MagiChanSonichu‬'s Character Choice.

In the illustration, Punchy is saying:

Favorite Smash Fighter? Alright. With my animated humor, the popular guess has been Toon Link. Ch! Yeah! He's a cute cartoon, but, come on, do I weild a sword? No! The bets on my character's amiibo figure online are High. Anyway, it's Little Mac. Boxing is our mutual expertise, and my uppercuts are killer. And to charge up for a Final Blow is awesome. I enjoy showing off my Thunder, Fire, and Ice Punches too. And I can launch really mean kicks with my feet too. Wham!

I Like to Be Pristine

Chris shared a link to a template which allows transgender people to insert their own photos on the cover of Vanity Fair magazine in the style of Caitlyn Jenner.

7 June 2015 This is a trend I can be nothing but most delighted and proud to be a part of. We Are ‪#‎Transgender‬; Hear Us Roar! ‪#‎MyVanityFairCover‬ ‪#‎Transwoman ‪#‎Lesbian‬ ‪#‎LGBTQ‬ ‪#‎Pride‬

Let's Go Bowling

The "Cville Pride" page asked people to RSVP regarding an upcoming "LGBTQ Youth & Family Bowling Night," and state how many people would be attending. Chris responded:

9 June 2015 Just me; one adult.

Sensory Overload 2: Electric Boogaloo

Chris provided a link to a YouTube video announcement of a new title in the Sonic Boom franchise. His remarks:

9 June 2015 Hell No!!! Still with the Blue Arms?!!! Ugh! SEGA, Does my Protest and Jail Time And Court Trouble Result NOT resonate with you at all? Don't Y'all EVER FREAKING LISTEN AND LEARN?!!! GameStops, Wal-Marts, Targets, Toys "R" Us, Best Buys, and all stores that sells video games, PLEASE, DO NOT STOCK, PRESELL, OR SELL THIS GAME!!! SEGA Needs to Listen AND Learn!!! The Protest and Boycott Continues and Resumes!!! (Although, I, myself, am forced to be physically inactive, locally to me, in the protest; I will not be posting any physical notes or bills in any store, whatsoever) **groan**

Bring Me the Head of O(l)mar Woodley!

Chris linked to an article on the "SEGA Nerds" page, "SEGA producer discusses future of Sonic Boom franchise," and added a decree:

9 June 2015 Bring to me, in person, the one called Olmar Woodley, So I can tell to his face of my Plights and Troubles I Went and Had to Gi Through, Because of the Sensory Overloading, Horrific Arm Colour Change that should NEVER HAVE HAPPENED. And then, let me Kick and Beat Him Up upon further refusal to change the arm Colour back to tan in Everything Sonic Boom! Damn and F*** Olmar Woodley!!!

Three hours later he edited it to read:

9 June 2015 Bring to me, in person, the ones called Omar Woodley and Stephen Frost, So I can tell to their faces of my Plights and Troubles I Went and Had to Go Through, Because of the Sensory Overloading, Horrific Arm Colour Change that should NEVER HAVE HAPPENED. And then, let me Kick and Beat Them Up upon further refusal to change the arm Colour back to tan in Everything Sonic Boom! Damn and F*** Olmar Woodley and Stephen Frost!!!

Another Waste of Taxpayer Money

9 June 2015 I protested peacefully and bold; I get banned from the local Four GameStops, and rebanned from Fashion SquareI ended up in jail for a weekend, along with court troubles; someone got a mild amount of pepper spray. Time healed me some and I was recovering and doing better. Now, ANOTHER BLUE ARMED GAME IS BEING MADE?!!! ‪#‎SEGA‬ has ruined a peaceful, pleasant life for me again. It is Payback Time! ‪#‎SonicBoom‬ ‪#‎FixSonicsArmsImmediatelySEGA‬

Chris Spams Facebook

Chris spent a portion of 10 June copypasting his plea of the previous day that stores not sell Sonic Boom, along with links to his blarms protest group and his personal page. He left it as a reply to the reveal of the Sonic Boom: Fire & Ice box art on "My Nintendo News;" and to an article on "Tails' Channel." The public group "My Nintendo News" posted an article entitled, "Sega Says They're Taking Fan and Press Feedback And Building From It For Sonic Boom: Fire & Ice." Chris left the same reply here, along with:

10 June 2015 The arms are still freaking blue; they are NOT listening.

Magi-Chan in Super Smash Bros.

10 June 2015 #‎MagiChanSonichu‬'s choice is Mewtwo, Ness or Lucas. And just as Magi-Chan has stated in his testimonial through me, until ‪#‎SEGA‬ changes ‪#‎SonictheHedgehog‬'s arm colour back to tan in Everything ‪#‎SonicBoom‬, including the just announced title, each individual associated and responsible for the three games and cartoon show shall suffer from constant and inconsistent sensory overloads. Good Day. https://www.facebook.com/groups/fixSonicsArmsImmediatelySEGA/ Aside from that, let's vote for ‪#‎Sonichu‬ to be a DLC character in ‪#‎SuperSmashBros‬., for future possibilities of More Sonichu and ‪#‎Rosechu‬ Stories directly from me, in addition to potential comic pages, I would appreciate that. https://cp.nintendo.co.jp/us/

MagiChan says:

Mewtwo. I appreciated his mentorship in teaching and aid perfecting my Psychic, telekenetic, mind-reading and control, Future-Seeing powers, abilities, and all other Great Mental Powers. But, as his Amiibo figure is yet to be available, as well as Lucas, I am resorted with the chip of Ness in Christine's crafted Amiibo figure of myself. She was able to put together one of each of us main electric-hedgehog characters in this dimension that is perfectly synched with your own, through Christine Weston Chandler's mind, blood and soul. This, our own Prime Dimension and Universe, can not be altered in any shape and form by anyone else's hand or mind. And in our matched dimensions, while his attire has changed, Sonic the Hedgehog's arm colour has never been changed or altered. And until SEGA changes the arm colour back to Tan in the upcoming "Fire&Ice" game, in the "Rise of Lyric" and "Shattered Crystal" games with Software Update Data, and in every single episode of the "Sonic Boom" cartoon show, all individuals, past and present, involved in everything "Sonic Boom", minus the Sonic CD game, will each suffer from constant and inconsistent mental sensory overloads. Good Day.

Waterman asked:

Will you make a Robee Sonichu amiibo?

Chris replied:

Well, with the return of the blue arm bandits behind these Sonic Booms occupying our minds and stressing me, we may never know, will we?

Waterman asked for clarification:

... you mean we'll never know, until you make one? The blue arms stressing you is stopping you from making it?

Chris:

Yeah, among other problems.

Amiibo Expenses

Here he explained what he meant by the "other problems" he mentioned to Waterman in the above post.

10 June 2015 The reason I am hesitant on offering figures of the rest of my electric-hedgehog Pokémon, is because of possible, past undetermined, higher costs to make each of them. In particular, Angelica needs not only Pit's figure's chip, but the wings as well. Little Mac is extremely rare, and Ness is rare too. It takes three figures to make up Blake and Magi-Chan figures. And to better describe that was the reasoning behind the favorite fighter characters the past few weeks. Thank you.

No, Not That Catherine

"Legit Lady Gamers" asked the community what they thought of the game "Catherine." Chris offered:

10 June 2015 I have played it for a while. I enjoyed the charms and sexualities of both Catherines in the story. I liked the platform puzzles, but I would have delighted it better if instead of the guy, I could have wandered the blocks as either Catherine. ;) Anyhoo, I would rate the game a 4/5.

Disapproval

Chris did not think that a joke made on the "SEGA Nerds" page was funny.

11 June 2015 No. Just, No. |:(

Two Reminders

Chris shared an old post from his protest group, FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!

11 June 2015 A reminder.

He also reposted his long defense of the behavior which had gotten him arrested.

11 June 2015 Just a reminder.

Wordplay

For some reason, a radio station requested that people post "your full name without an E,F,R,S,K,I,M,L,C,A,Y,N." Chris amused himself by posting:

12 June 2015 Ht Wto Hd

The Difference Between Justified and Unjustified Transformations

12 June 2015 On the other topic, changing the gender on my alter (Chris Chan) Sonichu Form HAS a good reason: the REAL Me is of Female Soul and Identity; my self-character MATCHES AND HAS TO MATCH, and like those removable clip-on wings, the transformation changes along as well. There is NO Reason or Justification WHATSOEVER in Sonic the Hedgehog's Arm Colour!

Chris Gives SEGA an Out

12 June 2015 If SEGA can give me Ten valid Reasons (with at lease One Good Reason) to justify the arm colour change (no less), NOT counting to "Modernize" Sonic or to make Sonic "appealing to the younger generations", I may reconsider.

No and Shut Up

Another update on the new Sonic Boom game was posted on "SEGA Nerds," and Chris replied:

12 June 2015 Change his arm colour back to tan already!!!

A ween responded:

Fuckin stop.

Chris shot back:

No, and shut up.

Pony Facial Expressions

On the page "Derpy Hooves and Friends - Friendship is Muffins," someone posted a collage of facial expressions made by the ponies on the show. Chris asked:

12 June 2015 Fluttershy from MNFBKDiscord episode; What DOES that facial expression mean?

Vaginal Outlines

12 June 2015 Do you know who Likes me? These Women Like Me! I was at the Boom Boom Burlesque Show Friday Night, and Zhora Nova was quite taken with my audience support and participation. On stage, I acted a drown quite well. I applied naraja lip balm with vaginal outlines. And I flexed muscles and booty. Not only was I awarded a couple of blow pops, but I also won the raffle, complete with a Trophy and a Tiara, among other most valuable prizes. And Kisses and hugs were shared with great delight. :) And I also made more women friends, as well as met with a couple of other recent women friends once again as well. Thank You All, Ladies, for a Most Fabulous And Fun Night, and for becoming my new friends too! [blowing kiss emoji]

Kenneth wrote:

Damn. Looks like you're becoming the life of the party.

Chris replied:

Damn Lesbian Strait!

Rowan Dunston wrote:

Awesome! Go girl, did you find any cuties to take home or at least get some phone numbers? :D

Chris replied:

Yes I did.

Three hours later Chris made a follow-up post:

12 June 2015 I want to bring up that the burlesque show and performances were Outstanding. Lovely and divine dresses for the Summer theme. All of the ladies looked fabulous. The improv at the moments were delightful. Their striptease movements were smooth and fluid; met beyond what I was expecting for my first Burlesque show. The prop comedies within were a fun bonus. And the audience participation bits were thought out very well with the theme. If the advertisement on the event page is correct, there could be an encore performance tonight, the 13th at 12:30 AM a at Impulse after the Drag Show (call ahead to confirm). To see their performance is Totally worth the trip, and the tips. :)

He then gave The Boom Boom Room an official 5-star review.

Who Needs Spoiler Alerts?

13 June 2015 "Derpy, thy name is Muffins." Ditzy ‪#‎Derpy‬ Bubbly Doo MailMare... The credits show her name as... Muffins. Ah... The staff had better have a Good Reason behind naming her Muffins. Oh well, her Ship with Doctor Whooves is Confirmed as well. Now, they have to Name another Pegasus Ditzy Doo. Fun episode, still. Looking forward to the next episode.

Don't Get Too Dark

Chris wasted no time in offering advice to one of his new burlesque performer gal-pals, "Jane Ostentatious." On her page she posted:

Baltimore peeps, come to Club Orpheus to meet dark Jane. The transformation has begun!

Chris replied:

13 June 2015 Don't get too dark; you'd blend into the night, or otherwise have moodiness take over.

Eye Test

Chris found a visual puzzle which asked, "What Number Do you see??" Chris answered:

14 June 2015 571

Pristinely Not Perfect

14 June 2015 I just looked up the definition of "pristine": clean, perfect, mint condition, spotless, to name a few words. I like being clean after my daily shower with shampoo, conditioner, soap and water. But aside from that, "I am pristinely not perfect". :D

Reverb in Trib

Someone posted photos of androgynous actress Ruby Rose with the caption, "when u think ur straight but then ruby rose comes and confuses you." Chris agreed:

14 June 2015 It took me a moment after seeing her photos. The boyish look on her threw me off, but hell yeah! She is a DJ I would reverb in trib good. ;)

Leapin' Lesbian Lizards!

Chris read on "Lizzy the Lezzy" (one of his new favorite pages) about a lizard species that consists of only females. He joked:

15 June 2015 They certainly top the Bonobos monkeys as wild animal Lesbians. LOL

Incidentally, Bonobos are neither monkeys nor lesbians (the species is almost uniformly bisexual.)

A Thought Out Thought

16 June 2015 Here's another fun "Thought Out Thought". In regards to me being a female soul, and that I still feel a greater attraction, and turn on, from women, versus the males. I do consider myself a ‪#‎Lesbian‬ from that. Because, if I had been attracted to males, my female soul would be plainly one amongst the majority of female souls (regardless of body), and I would only be a ‪#‎Transwoman‬. And Vice-Versa with the male souls in the female bodies: should those souls, like other males, still be attracted to women, than I feel they would be simply ‪#‎Transmale‬. They would have "‪#‎gay‬" added onto them if their male souls were attracted to other males. The soul identities, and determining the additional possible adjective(s) to add on, is quite an interesting thing to learn and figure out for yourselves, and myself. It is Not to say that all transgender people Have to be secondarily labeled, but that is the difference between sexual identity and preference there. I had to further ponder on the topic to answer the question with one of my woman friends, on how did I determine and conclude myself to be a female soul, as well as a lesbian. So that was one reason I felt it beneficial to other fellow ‪#‎Transgender‬ individuals out there to share this thought. Including ‪#‎CaitlynJenner‬, who I learned from the Wikipedia article was classifying herself as asexual during her transition. An admirable choice for until when should she better understands herself. Kudos to her and everyone else transitioning and learning. Have a good and safe day.

Gold Coin for Sale

On 17 June, Chris provided a link to his Ebay account, where he was trying to sell a "1990 American Silver Eagle 999 Silver 1oz Dollar Coin" for $30.

Chris on Armpit Hair

Chris replied to an article posted on "Lizzy the Lezzy" claiming the existence of a trend among women not to shave their armpits:

20 June 2015 Personally, I hold no ill will against what choices individual people make for themselves. And I, for one, feel my choice of continuing to shave my body hair off is better. I feel like the carpets look scraggy and drab on me, and I feel less itchy without the armpit and body hairs scratching whatever else of myself rubs on it. Seriously, I am even considering buying a NoNo device to more permanently remove my body hair.

Flying Elephants

"Lizzy the Lezzy" also posted a humorous comment thread about sexualities which ended with the question, "When did this become a game of Chess?" Chris replied with some random-access humor:

20 June 2015 When the Queen takes Joan of Arc into either Rook.

Feeling Better

Someone posted a series of 12 illustrations telling the story of someone who opens her heart, gets it crushed, and becomes emotionally devastated. Chris obviously noticed it because of its blatant heart symbolism. He commented:

20 June 2015 I had been down that emotional depth and depression for years. I feel a lot better about myself now.

Here's My PIN Number

"Legit Lady Gamers" announced a contest to win five gaming-related shot glasses. Contestants were required to enter a number between 1 and 85,000. Chris entered:

20 June 2015 4,603

New eBay Account

Note that he uses the word "fresh" three times. Because it's a synonym for "pristine," get it?

22 June 2015 I have just created a fresh ebay account, pristinechristine1982, to start fresh on my selling limits and all. But at the moment, I can list only up to ten items. I am starting simple with Autographed Photos of myself. Like before, you are welcome to choose from the samples provided. And this time, every photograph will include a fresh personal pen drawing, regardless of destination. Thank you. http://www.ebay.com/itm/-/281729962863?

He soon made two additions to this post:

**I will have a batch of Sonichu Medallions listed for next month. Everyone will be of great help to us here by buying an Autographed Photo, plus Bonus Drawing, while I am able to right now.

**I did not mean to have "Make Offer" on the listing; my bad.

Another Impulse Review

For some reason, the Impulse Gay Social Club has two Facebook pages, one for the "social club" and one for the bar. In October 2014, after visiting the club for the first time, he gave it a four-star review. On 24 June 2015, he gave the bar five stars.

A House is not a Vagina

Chris linked to a video called "Geraldine" and wrote:

24 June 2015 I read in a book a story about a woman who she and her spouse bought a house that was not the best, yet all they could afford. She hated the defragmented portions of the house so much. But then she replaced "hate" with "grateful", as well as added hat she deserved a better house. And then eventually the house was improved one step at a time and became her dream house. If things were that easy, I would say "I'm grateful for my penis. But I deserve a full-functioning vagina", and have an overnight metamorphosis like Geraldine. Hmm.

The book Chris read is The Handmade House by Geraldine Bedell.

Let's Trade Genitalia!

On "Lizzy the Lezzy," a transgender man named Victor complained about how difficult it is to find a "soulmate" with "the wrong body." Chris agreed:

25 June 2015 Me too; I would like to be able to show a lesbian woman what I can do for her, and how I can emote and make her feel too. But I tend to feel they aren't seeing the female and lesbian soul of mine, but are focusing on the Grateful part I was born with. I deserve to be a full woman with a full functioning vagina. A- blood type, if anyone wants to put up the money and trade.

Someone asked:

Christian, you seem to always talk about vaginas and wanting women when you talk about your "transistion". Are you sure you're not mistaking your feminine soul as "if I'm a woman, then women will have sex with me"?

Chris replied:

No, I am not mistaken. I have been genuinely feeling and identifying like a woman for about my whole lifetime. I never could appreciate the male's Neanderthal interests. And I felt more appreciative and comprehending of fashions, makeup, shopping, empathy, identifying feelings and looking to resolve problems reasonably.

Votes for Women

Hillary Clinton posted a campaign video in defense of gay marriage. Chris replied:

25 June 2015 Another darn good reason for her to get my vote anyway! :)

Kick the HEXBox!

"Legit Lady Gamers" posted an image of a pink Xbox One "for women." Chris predictably replied:

25 June 2015 I would prefer a pink PS4.

Birthday Scenario Game

"Legit Lady Gamers" posted a game asking people to "match up the scenario for your birth month & character for your day." For his month, Chris got "Handcuffed (for life) to" and for the 24th, Frank West. He commented:

25 June 2015 "Handcuffed to Frank West". Who?

After apparently finding out, he added:

Well, hopefully my soul will stay within the zombified body handcuffed to Frank, so he would have his own zombie repellent with me.

I Feel [Insert Emotion Here]

A writer named Mark Morford posted a list of "23 Emotions People Feel, But Can't Explain," using neologisms. Chris shared the list and wrote:

25 June 2015 What an inspiring bunch of new adjectives to feel.

Of course, it's a list of nouns, not adjectives.

Shocking Lack of Self-Awareness

On 26 June 2015, the Supreme Court of the United States upheld the constitutionality of gay marriage. Chris's two cents:

26 June 2015 Congratulations to us all for Nationwide Marriage Equality! If a holiday be made of June 26, 2015, how about ‪#‎PridependenceDay‬! Now, I still require my Sweetheart to be my future wife. As a ‪#‎Lesbian‬ ‪#‎Transwoman‬, I do feel I am compatible with Any woman. And No, I am not mistaken. I have been genuinely feeling and identifying like a woman for about my whole lifetime. I never could appreciate the male's Neanderthal interests. And I felt more appreciative and comprehending of fashions, makeup, shopping, empathy, identifying feelings and looking to resolve problems reasonably. Plus, I have a great deal of self control, and I can bring good and pleasant tidings to an all woman party. ‪#‎LoveWins‬ ‪#‎OneFamily‬ ‪#‎LGBTQ‬ ‪#‎Pridependence‬ ‪#‎Pride‬

Eyes Make the Man

Chris shared a clickbait photo claiming that "People with green or blue eyes are hyper and love to laugh. They tend to be quiet at first, but once you get to know them they never shut up. They're loyal and like long, committed relationships. They make amazing friends." Chris responded:

26 June 2015 One Blue, One Green; That is me!

New Profile Pic

Along with millions of other Facebook users, Chris used an app to create a new profile picture.

27 June 2015 Created with facebook.com/celebratepride

Probably Because She's the One Who Looks Most Like Britney Spears

"Legit Lady Gamers" posted a drawing of three superheroines and asked readers to choose their favorite. Chris wrote:

27 July 2015 All three are awesome! But to choose one, Superwoman.

Except on Sonic's Arms

Chris took yet another dumb Facebook quiz to figure out "What Color Is Your Aura?" Chris got blue.

27 July 2015 Me gusta Azul.

Another Failed Chance for Self-Promotion

To celebrate the momentous day, "Lizzy the Lezzy" requested rainbow-ized selfies and arranged them in a collage. She apologized, "Sorry if yours didn't make it - there were just so many i couldn't grab them all!" Chris whined:

27 June 2015 Mine's not in there.

Random-Access Swedish

Chris's high school classmate Richie Grecki posted an image of the Swedish Chef to illustrate a point:

This is pretty much what I'm starting to see when people post their opinions on gay marriage and confederate flag issues. Seriously, it's getting very old. Everyone has their own opinions, great. Stop posting about it on here so we can all see how non judgmental you are about gay marriage but how judgemental you are about the Confederate flag. Shut up! Let's go back to posting cat pictures, and pictures of food.

Chris incomprehensibly replied:

28 June 2015 DA DER DA DERP TA TITTILY DERP DERPY DUMB "Rated PG-13"

Beyond Self-Parody

"LGBT News" posted a joke. Ever the epitome of cluelessness, Chris responded:

28 June 2015 I read the entire text. I disagree on the thumb length ratio; my thumb is too long. Maybe Twice the length. Regardless, I am grateful for my penis, but I Deserve a Vagina.

What was that you were saying about self-control?

Viralwomen.com posted a comic asking the question, "What if We Treated Other Consent Situations Like Society Treats Sexual Consent?" The point is that people respond to sexual situations with a pushiness that would not be accepted in other aspects of life. Of course, Chris didn't get it at all:

28 June 2015 This is a lot of rudeness; I do not like these comics, and I am less sure of the topic headline it was trying to convey.