Reggie Fils-Aimé

He has come here to kick autistic ass and chew bubble gum... and he's all out of gum.

Separated at birth?

Reginald "Reggie" Fils-Aimé ([ˈfiːzɛmeɪ]), is the president of Nintendo of America and colleague of Shigeru Miyamoto. He is also an opponent of "true love" and possibly a virgin, according to Mr. Chandler.

Chris's contact with Reggie formed the second stage of the Miyamoto Saga, beginning after Chris failed to make it to Redmond and no-showed his planned face-to-face meeting with Miyamoto towards the end of January 2009. Never one to mince words, Reggie gave Chris a tough but fair assessment of his personal life and his potential as a top-flight video game designer. Chris reacted poorly, accusing Reggie of discriminating against him because of his autism, comparing him to Mary Lee Walsh, and eventually throwing an unrestrained tantrum after Reggie bluntly told him that their collaboration was over.

Chris threatened to take Reggie and Miyamoto to Charlottesville court before going back on his word and BAWWWWing to them in an apology video.

Reggie's next video game, Kick the Autistic, will be released for the Wii and DS in time for Christmas. Jimmy Hill, meanwhile, currently owns the European and Japanese gaming rights to Sonichu.

Fils-Aimé Saga

On 26 January 2009, Chris released a video wherein he claimed that he had been to Redmond to visit Shigeru Miyamoto and begin working on a Sonichu video game project. This, of course, was a lie. As a result of Chris's failure to make his appointment with Miyamoto, Reggie began communicating with Chris two days later, and their conversation continued through the first week or so of February.

Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America from Reggie Fils-Aimé to Chris on 28 January 2009 1:16 AM But right now, I'm just strictly Reggie. I'm not going to even bother sending this through my Nintendo email address. Because you know what? This isn't business. This is strictly personal. I have something to say to you, and you need to listen. This has nothing to do with Nintendo right now, this is just me and you. Mano e mano. Man to man. I don't normally do this, but hell, I just need to get this off my chest. If you don't know who I am, then allow me to introduce myself. My name is Reggie Fils-Aime. I've been kicking ass and taking names ever since the E3 expo at 2004 where I made my debut, where from then on I eventually earned my position as president of this company. I'm known to be a loud mouth. I don't take crap from anyone. So if you are easily offended, I suggest you stop reading. But don't worry, I'll try to go easy on you, key word being "try" here. But with that out of the way, I just want to say something to you personally. May I kindly ask, what the hell is wrong with you? Are you for real or what? I was there for everything. I saw Miyamoto waiting for up to 2 days in the bitter cold for you to show up and you stood him up. I was even there trying to arrange everything for you, even setting up someone to escort you to our building complete with bodyguards and full security because I knew you were concerned about safety. And for what? So you could just NOT show up? I mean, I don't even know what to think, it's just completely unbelievable. I'm sorry but it just is. I heard what you said to Mr Miyamoto too, your reasons for not coming. And I just have to say. How old are you? You're 27, if I'm not mistaken right? 27! I mean, think about it, you are almost 30! What is a man of your age still doing being coddled by his parents? Let me tell you, when I was about your age, I was already married and had children! Your autism isn't an excuse either. I've raised a son with autism who is far worse functioning than you are and he can easily make his own decisions. The only thing I see here is a person who is not only lazy and makes excuses, but cannot even take charge of his own life. That right there is what made it pretty clear that there is no chance in hell you're going to get anywhere with this project. Nevermind the fact that your parents didn't want you to go (or that you still have to get your parents permission at your age). Think about what happened if you did go, and you had to ask mommy and daddy for an OK on everything? Imagine what a complete disaster that would be. I mean, listen. Simply put, you are not fit to do business with us as you are not even in a position where you can make your own decisions, which is vital to survive in the workplace, and even life in general. I mean, seriously, who the hell were we talking to? I don't know about you. But this deal was about Nintendo and you. This was not the deal between Nintendo and the parents of Christian Weston Chandler. I'm sorry, but provided that this whole thing you pulled on us wasn't an elaborate prank, this project was doomed from the start. It's just completely ridiculous. It is impossible for anyone to do business with someone who still has to rely on their parents to make their decisions. Right now, I don't see how anything good could come from any of this. The only way I could even see this going anywhere is if you were to somehow learn to become independent, like a person of your age should be, and try to do something so that you don't rely on your parents to decide things for you. But I don't see that happening ever in the near future (nor is it really my job to even have to tell you this). And because of that, I don't see how you'll ever be able to do business with us. And you know what? I'll just leave it at that. Also, forget recieving a letter from us (and for what? So your parents can read it out loud to you? For Christ sake). This whole thing is through. Our company will gladly deal with people who are up to the task. But we cannot waste valuable time and money on children who have no means of actually doing their part (their part, as in not their parents but "their part") to cooeprate with us. Sorry for the rant, but you've wasted so much of our time, money and effort that I had to personally do what I'm known for, and that is kicking ass and taking names. I always tell it like it is, and I'll be damned if I ever change that. So consider this as the final notice, this whole thing is through. It was through as soon as you made it clear that you are not mature enough to do business with us. Other than that, I have nothing more to add. Please feel free to complain about me not being professional, I get that all the time. But nobody ever doubts my ability to tell people the things they need to hear. And what I just told you is nothing but that. Sincerely, The man who has been kicking ass and taking names since 2004. Reggie Fils-Aime President Nintendo of America

Well, it is good to make your acquaintance, Reggie. I have viewed your WiiMusic Tip Video on my Wii recently, and your introduction basically expanded my knowledge of you personally. Allow me to offer my congratulations on you becoming President of N.O.A.; last I heard, from snail-mail exchange, y'all had a woman for a president (I can't recall her name at the moment), so for my knowledge now. :) In response to your message, let me say that I deserved that; it was as shocking as Mr. Resetti in Animal Crossing, but in the sense of personally expressing yourself, I mean the comparison as genuinely a positive compliment. I feel Truly, Deepest Sorry for missing the appointment; I have made the mistake of not being clear in the fact of my being unable to make the trip, and trying to compensate with sending myself via snail-mail (in a sense). As much as it was due to the lack of support from my family, I Could Not afford the Travel Fare to Redmond in the first place. I am considered compusive with handling money, and since the first notice of the business between me and Mr. Miyamoto came up Mid-January, I felt like I was "caught with my pants down". I had spent my last amount of money from my Social that I get every month to pay rent to my family, make payments on my Credit Card Bills, and even after that, I would have had only a hundred or so left over, and I had already compulsively spent that on the day I got the money on a couple of games. I feel at fault for not controling my compulsiveness enough to save a hundred at a time months before. Then there is the mixture of Ligitimate business e-mail, from you all for example, and e-mails from Internet Trolls/Bullies/Impostors, and among the chaos and confusion, I felt out of sorts, even the moments when I felt calmed down after a time from the stress. And my mother and father felt at unease amongst that confusion as well. Even when I put it up to my friends at my church; the same thing; they thought I was talking to an impostor, posing as Mr. Miyamoto. But after I received the automated e-mail from donotreply@noa.nintendo.com verifying Mr. Miyamoto's e-mail address as legitimate, I felt MOST Confident that I was dealing with the real Miyamoto. And yet, even after presenting the printout of that e-mail, everyone was still in doubt. I have made great effort to seek local aid to fund me for the trip to Redmond, but unfortunately, I failed. It was heavily advised that I have the business between me and Miyamoto hand-written on Paper sent to me to present to my Attorney. Also, considering the rumors were Flying Heavily among the Internet Troll Population, if I had made the trip, I felt I might have been heavily physically harmed by those vicious people. I will not disagree with the accusations of my emotions. Even though my family are of Great Business Expierences (let me also mention that my father, Mr. Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr., while working at G.E. (General Electric) has designed the Controls for the Plastic Molding Machines, so without him, we would not have anything Plastic as simple as a Funnel, or even the casing for the NES), I feel that I personally lack heavy business expierences that I would require. Due to my mental block, I feel that I would require someone to speak for me in the beginning of a Heavy amount of Business. They also gave me a small amount of the words that were typed to Mr. Miyamoto, especially the requests for the advance in travel fare so I could have made the trip. While I personally understand the economical situations prohibiting the advance, my family, as well as the Majority of my Church's Congregation, disagree. With that one bit of green absent from being advanced, it set the Ground for the locally popular disbelief in my talking to Mr. Miyamoto. If I did have the money advanced to me for the trip, my escort and I would have Most Definitely made the flight. Believe me, I have been feeling the worst stress from my being unable to afford the trip, my attempt to compensate with the CD-R and DVD-R failing badly, having to cover-up in online discussions for my family and local friends' HUGE concern for my safety and health, and worst of all the shame I feel from all the stress. I sincerely meant no harm, hostile behavior, or anything major like that from the words I have spoken, written and typed so far in this business transaction. I Truly Want to Continue with the Sonichu Projects, because I require a brighter future to set me in good standings with my future wife and my future daughter, Crystal Weston Chandler (God promised her to me in a multiple of Dreams). So, I respectfully ask you to NOT Cancel it. With the Paper Documents Snail-Mailed to me, my efforts to save money for the trip, convincing my family, friends and attorney, getting my act well-prepared and well-together, and my Female Sweetheart by my side (she's on her way to me from Australia), I, Christian Weston Chandler, will Truly Feel that I can Tackle the Project Head-On. I appreciate your time and paitence, Reggie. And I have offered my deepest apologies to Mr. Miyamoto, as well as the Powerpoint Project and my CADD Plans for the Cwcville Shopping Center in two e-mails just recently. Peace and Best Wishes, Christian Weston Chandler 14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA 22968-9545 (434)-990-0198 Wii Number: 8626-5211-8387-4771 (Wii-Speak Capable) PSN ID: Sonichu (PSEye Capable)

Listen, kid. I apologize for yelling at you, but if you know me, I am a guy who doesn't pull his punches. Let me tell you. They call me the most feared man in the game's industry, the "man who kicks ass and takes names." That Mr. Resetti comparison was kind of accurate actually. I guess I do deserve that title. But I just have to be honest with you. I don't think you're ready for any of this. You seem to have a lot of issues in your life that you need to take care of before you can do business with anyone. I think right now Nintendo is the LEAST of your worries. I mean, compulsive spending, severe paranoia, friends and family who do not trust you, you having to get their permission to do anything despite almost being 30, relying on social security and taxpayer money to survive, and the list goes on and on. I'm sure if you had a job, didn't live with your parents, and were a self made man like a person of your age ought to be, you'd have no problem making it here. But from what you're telling me, you've got a lot of issues and things to take care of in your life before you could ever reach such a state, and I wonder right now if I'm asking for the impossible right now. Until then, I don't see how this could go anywhere. We've wasted so much time and money on this project only to find out that the man we're dealing with still is being coddled by his parents and doesn't even have a job or money of his own (taxpayer social security money issued to you for food/clothing doesn't count, which you shouldn't be spending on games anyway) or anything of that sort to even come through with this. That is why I'm so frustrated with any of this. It's just so ridiculous. I've never seen anything like it. I thought we were dealing with a grown man, a self made man who could make his own decisions and come through with this. But what you've shown us is anything but that. Sort out your own life first. Don't worry about Nintendo. Maybe once you finally grow up to be independent, sort out all the things preventing you from coming, and maybe even be able to make your own decisions and in life, then maybe at that point we'll be able to do business with each other. But until then, I doubt we'll see anything come out of this. And even if it does work out at the moment, I can't imagine you being anything other than a huge liability for us. Being an independent person who can make his or her own decisions is paramount to survive in the business world, especially in the games industry. We don't have time to babysit you. While it may seem like all fun and games, this is a business for adults, not people who still depend on their parents to survive. Sincerely, Reggie Fils-Aime

I understand what you're telling me, Reggie. But with statements like, " this is a business for adults, not people who still depend on their parents to survive," it makes me feel like I am being discriminated against. I'm not one to judge, and I am capable of making my own sound decisions in life when it comes down to it. My mind kinda rolled along with the moment, but the point is the discriminating statement pretty much. Peace, Christian Weston Chandler.

Yeah, but you have to understand. I don't understand how you're going to do anything, when you don't even have your own life sorted out. You're not being discriminated against. I'm just saying that you're clearly not cut out for this. How can you expect to lead a project when you cannot even lead your own life? You have problems with your family, you depend on social security (which you use for games instead of your own needs), you seem to be completely paranoid and above all else, I don't see you making a single sound decision on your own. It seems to be that you're still being raised by your parents. We were under the impression that we were making a deal with an accomplished comic book artist, but instead you show us that you're inconsiderate, you lack any sort of independence or maturity, and above all else, you seem like the kind of person that would be a liability for our company. To me, it doesn't seem like you need a video game. It seems like you need to sort out your own life before you try to get involved with something like this, which to me, you don't seem to be cut out for at all. Mr. Miyamoto has requested that I let him talk to you and that I try to hold back and be a bit more polite, but even he admits that it is very hard considering all you've made us go through recently. I have very little hope for this project at this point and I don't see what the hell is the point of doing any of this anymore. This is a bridge to nowhere. I'm going to either have to decide to step in and stop it myself, or either that just sit back and watch it fail anyway since I don't see how this has any chance of becoming anything. Sincerely, Reggie Fils-Aime

Re: Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America I see your point, Reggie, but YOU DID NOT HAVE TO CANCEL THE PROJECT INDEFINITELY! I mean, after I get things settled on my end, and when I have the funds to make the trip to Redmond, it would feel much beneficial to me to know that the Window is still OPEN for me. What I'm hearing here is that you've CLOSED the Window and sealed it with Concrete! I WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT! I apologize for coming off strong, but the objectionable feeling is True to me at the moment, and I would appreciate it if you would Re-Open the Window for me, and UNSEAL the Window, so I can still have the opportunity open for me. I will need a financial setting with a good job for when I have my family and individuality set, and I personally feel it BEST if I still had the opportunity to Work with Nintendo and Sega to bring my Sonichu and Rosechu to life in the Video Game World. Please let me know that this Same Window of Opportunity will remain open for me. And if it helps better my case, I recently won a 400 dollar Gamestop Gift Card from the Guitar Hero Be A Star Sweepstakes and received it in the FedEx; I spent 3/4 of the card on my Church's Congregation, and those who requested a game from the card; the Majority of them asked for Wii Titles; Two asked for WiiMusic, and one of those two also got a copy of Animal Crossing City Folk With the WiiSpeak. And I ended using the rest for myself on Super Mario Galaxy, WiiMusic, LoZ: Twilight Princess, Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity, ALL FOR NINTENDO Wii, and a WiiSpeak. And I still have a HEAVY Positive and Loyal Sonichu and Rosechu Fanbase; You All at Nintendo will STILL be able to Gain More Money off of my Sonichu and Rosechu, especially when in the near future I will be most capable of flying to Redmond, meet with you and Mr. Miyamoto, and get this "Mario Party" Started. Please reply with your contact information, including phone number, so I can contact you in the near future, when I TRULY WILL be ready. My Mind is SET on this, and I feel I can be Ready as early as the end of 2009. You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save. Peace, Christian Weston Chandler.

RE: Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America We're not interested in your project. I've seen the powerpoint. Apart from the fact that you are unable to manage for yourself, the powerpoint really was the final straw. It was filled with gratuitous and shameless drawings with every other frame showing some form of partial nudity or characters making out with each other. I cannot even fathom how you managed to think that would be a good idea. Not only that, you keep mentioning Sony, which you should know is the bitter rival of Nintendo and our mortal enemy. I don't know if you've been paying attention, but in every presentation I have given, whenever I mention kicking some behind, it's always directed to Sony. If you knew anything about our company, that would have been completely obvious. But those are all moot points compared to the fact that you have demonstrated that you are not cut out for this kind of work and that your actions and mode of behavior would be a total liability for our company. This decision is final. We are not going to do business with you and that is all. Sort out your own life. We cannot help you. This is it. Do not email me or beg me for anything else. This is final. I cannot stress that enough. And if you do email me again, I will just repeat myself over and over. This whole thing is over. Goodbye. Sincerely, Reggie Fils-Aime

Please DO NOT Pigeonhole Me or Sonichu The LAST thing I need to feel is feeling like I've been Left within a tiny piece of shelfspace to collect dust and be forgotten. Peace, Christian Weston Chandler.

RE: Please DO NOT Pigeonhole Me or Sonichu Actually I think it's for the better. Maybe you can learn something out of this whole exchange. But other than that, there is nothing more I can say or do for you. I'd appreciate it if you stopped emailing me now and maybe instead took some time to reflect on how this went wrong on your part. But this whole thing is finalized and done, and I cannot help you nor do I have the time to keep sending you emails when we have no official business with each other.

One last thing I still would deeply appreciate a document of the past business words, aggrements and all that from between me, Mr. Miyamoto and you, Reggie, snail-mailed to my home address I've previously provided to you, for my personal records and future references, Please. Peace, Christian Weston Chandler.

RE: One last thing It's not going to happen, pal. This is final. Don't take this personally.

"Reply to your Reply" Let me just say a few more things, and then I'll stop e-mailing you for a long while. There was Positively NO NUDITY at all in the Powerpoint Presentation. And What the heck is WRONG with True Love and Kissing? Are you a Virgin yourself? Have you had a BUNCH of Bad Dates? Or are you soo Closed-Minded and Rednecked? I gave you respect after seeing you in that video on my Wii, yet you tell me that True Love is WRONG? You are just as bad or WORSE than the Real-Life Mary Lee Walsh, or as she is known as in the Comics now, Slaweel Ryam. I pity you if you've had your share of Bad Luck in True Love, yet at this point, you have just Lost My Respect. True Love is a Truly Sacred Bond between WOMAN and MAN, and when they are together, they get attracted to each other very much to Kiss and later Make Love. GOD and JESUS WANTS US ALL TO EXPERIENCE and SHARE True, Straight LOVE! THERE IS NOTHING OBJECTIONABLE FROM THAT! I am a man who stand for True Love and Honesty, in comics AND in Real Life, although I am still a Frustrated Virgin with Autisim on the side. AT LEAST I AM MAKING A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE IN KEEPING TRUE LOVE BETWEEN ONLY WOMAN AND MAN IN MY ACTIONS. On a Side-Note, I DESPISE ALL HOMOSEXUAL MALES, PERIOD! ALSO, I BET YOU PROBABLY SMOKE AND DRINK, don't you? I SPEAK AGAINST THOSE AS WELL SINCE THEY ARE TOOLS TO SPEED YOU TO DEATH WITH CANCER, LIVER PROBLEMS, BAR FIGHTS AND AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENTS. GIVE UP THE HABITS! THEY ARE BEYOND GROSS AND DISGUSTING! *sigh* Forgive me for raising my voice very loudly, but to ENCOURAGE the True, Straight Love that you obviously OBJECT, I felt it was Required and Necessary. I can be a "Resetti" too, Mr. Resetti. Peace-Out, Christian Weston Chandler.

There wasn't. I never said there was. You assume too much and are way too paranoid about things, this is why I don't want to deal with you. Imagine if you were to flip out on someone while in the workplace like this? It'd be a complete PR disaster. But I never said nudity or implied anything about your characters sexual preferences. What I was referring to what the panty shot of Rosechu in one of the first frames. Then you show two characters in bed making love to each other. Just what the hell kind of game did you want Nintendo to make? Nintendo has always been in the business of making games for the whole family. That includes children. That is why you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself, and you've shown that you're unable to do so. Your mind seems too wired on other things. Your head seems to be in the clouds and you don't even know the first thing about being appropriate or tasteful. Did you think this game proposal would even be able to pass through the ESRB? You know nothing about how the industry works. About things such as company reputation, age appropriate content or content that won't get shot down by the ESRB (look at the whole "Hot Coffee" GTA scandal for example). You just think you can do whatever you want and hope it flies. Also from what I recall, you sent drawn pornography drawn in colored pencil/marker to Mr. Miyamoto TWICE. Imagine if you did this to someone in a business situation. Do you want me to hire you when you are such a loose cannon? It's not possible. I can't risk having such a huge liability. And in fact, your behavior is the reason I've decided to remove you indefinitely from Nintendo, and I hope that someday you get your act together (which I don't see happening any time soon). But until then, this project is over and gone for good. If anything was the last straw, it was this email. I don't have time to fight with you, you are completely unstable, irresponsible and the kind of person who would probably flip out or even hurt someone if he were to put in the workplace. I'm glad you made that video and cleared everything up. But now, just leave me alone. I'm not going to even bother replying back after this, or if you keep this up. Also, by the way. You didn't spell your name right at the end of the power point. You wrote it as "ChriSTAIN." That would be grounds for any potential employer to not hire someone. In addition to the behavior you've just displayed and the type of proposal you tried to make, the last thing we need is someone who can't even spell his own name. Sincerely, Reggie Fils-Aime

Well, the game would not Constantly revolve around the Background Romance; it's called a "Happy Ending". Christian Weston Chandler.

It's not something you show in a business proposal. There is a time and place for everything. But I don't understand why I have to tell this to you. Either way, it's all over now and I don't want to deal with you anymore. I hope that someday someone takes you to seek consoling or behavioral therapy, and that you someday are able to manage on your own, because I don't have time to listen or try to help you as that is not my job. Please leave me alone and I hope for the best. Sincerely, Reggie Fils-Aime

No means No, Chris. Yeah, I saw your latest video there. I still don't think you get it. The project cancellation was already signed into effect. There is nothing that can be done now. It is over. You have no excuses. Your autism is not an excuse. In fact, I cannot believe you for saying that. You continue to use your autism as a crutch and then continue to blame everything on it. STOP! Let me tell you right now, there is a difference between autism and pure irresponsibility/laziness. You are the latter, my friend, not the former. Didn't I tell you that I once raised a son with autism? He had it much worse than you did. But guess what? He has a job, he is going to college, and he sure as hell doesn't live in my house. He is able to manage for himself and I NEVER have to make any of his decisions for him. What is the difference between you and him? I'll tell you, my son isn't lazy. He doesn't expect everyone just to give him everything. He knows that if he wants something, he has to work for it. And when he messes up, he doesn't blame his autism or people on the internet or anything else, he is able to know when he messed up and he takes responsibility for his own actions. And as a result he is a much better person for it. You even try to blame me for "discriminating." That's complete malarkey. I've employed several people with autism, and even worse disabilities than you have. But the thing is, those people are hard working and responsible. They want to work hard and they don't expect me to hold their hand and give them everything. And for one thing, they sure as hell don't still live with their parents at the age of 27. You have demonstrated that you cannot get your act together and that you always want to put the blame on something else, whether it's autism, or even other people. Pardon my french, but that's bullshit. And whether you like it or not, that shit will never fly with me. That is why I am not going to have any part in your project and you're not going to be hired by us. There is no excuse for your actions. You can give whatever excuse you want, but in the end it all comes down to you. Either learn how to take blame for yourself for when you mess up or don't even bother. But either way, I want nothing to do with you because you've done so much to make me angry that I don't even know why I am still talking to you anymore. Just put a lid on it and go away. Sincerely, Reggie Fils-Aime

You can blame my constant NON-Acceptance of Cancelation to my Red-Necked Personality Trait I picked up from my mother. I will NEVER accept a Cancel on the Project; it's Pigeonhole until I can make it or Continuation ONLY. And, for the last time, I AM NOT LAZY! Christian Weston Chandler.

Accept it, because it already happened and now you're just wasting my time.

Also stop blaming other people (or anything else) for your things that are your own fault. Taking responsibility for your actions is the first step to becoming a mature, more independant person who can manage for himself. You are acting like a spoiled little child right now. And yes, not wanting to admit that you did anything wrong or always putting the blame on someone else so you don't have to take responsibility for it is indeed a sign of laziness and immaturity. But why am I telling you this? It's useless. I can't seem to get through to you. You never even listen. Whatever I say goes from one ear out the other as you try to make up yet another excuse, over and over again. There is no excuse you can make now though. The project was canceled and has been canceled indefinitely for a while now. I am not going to even bother replying after this. Make up whatever excuse you want, resort to your same BS and blame everyone else but yourself, I don't care anymore.

Well, I WILL continue to Haunt, Pester and Bother you until the project becomes Uncancelled and Shelved for until I AM ABLE to make the trip. I will Haunt Your Dreams, with God by my side helping me to do that. And if you do not like it, well I Triple-Dog Dare you AND Mr. Miyamoto to come to my house in Virginia Yourselves, talk to me and my family, and settle the matter like it should have been, have I been able to AFFORD to make the trip in the first place. Or, you all can very well bring me, my family and friends to Charlotesville, Virginia Court to settle this under a court of law. I have a SLEW of friends and family who will help me in court, and even define my own personal character as a humble human being. Peace, Christian Weston Chandler.

Dare us? That doesn't make any sense. Why should we come to your house? For one, we have no business with you now, and even if we did, you'd still have to make an appointment and come to our office. But it's too late for that. We've already found someone who knows how to take responsibility for himself and conduct himself in an appropriate matter, and we're giving the project over to him. He calls himself Clyde Cash. He's a real stand up guy. Unlike you, he took the initiative to not only to schedule an appointment with us and arrive on time (exactly on time, right at the very second), but also showed us the utmost respect and humility. Not once did he ever lash out at us, or harass us like you have done so far. Not only that, he showed us that he can take care of himself, he has the leadership qualities we look for in an employee of this company. He is a self made man with a honest hard working job, two degrees in things actually relevant to our business (one in game design, the other in fine arts, both from prestigious universities, and apparently he has degrees in many other things, he's a real a jack of all trades) and he even plans on getting married and having a child soon (he showed me a picture of him standing together with his future wife, Sarah. They make a good couple). I don't understand why you couldn't be more like this guy? I mean, he came here on time, he didn't even have to beg us for money (and he even refused our offer to reimburse him), he is independent and lives on his own (you'll never see him ask his "mommy and daddy" for anything) and above all else, he's just all around a great guy who knows how to get things done and kick ass and take names. I mean, couldn't you at least be half the guy this guy is? Is that too much to ask? But it doesn't matter now, we've finally found the guy we're looking for and you're not needed anymore. Anyway, I look forward to working with our new business partner (and now, employee, as I have promoted him to a senior game designer position) and I can't wait start working with him on this project. Be on the lookout for it, because this is going to be good, very good, even better than anything you offered us, and honestly better than anything we've ever seen. This Cylde Cash guy, he's brilliant. I'm thinking he could easily become the next Miyamoto, or even better. But yeah, this is going to be good. Even though you'll have no part in this, I'm sure you'll still be able to enjoy it once it comes out because something this good, I mean, it would be downright stupid to want to miss something like this. It's going to be amazing. Sincerely, Reggie Fils-Aime

Clyde is NOT stealing my Sonichu and Rosechu, is he?

Sorry that's classified information.

Dear Chris, We sent a letter to you. I'm sure you heard from a man named Mike Chandler by now. It's true, Mr. Miyamoto no longer has an appointment scheduled with you, nor will we acknowledge any longer that he had any correspondence with you anymore. The project is dead and buried and all Nintendo employees have been told to never acknowledge that the project ever existed. I already told you before that the project was canceled due to your inaction. We will not accept any more unsolicited game suggestions or business requests from you. As we mentioned, Mr. Miyamoto does make occasional business trips to the U.S. (and your previous appointment, which has expired and been erased from memory, was one of those trips), but for now he is back in Japan where he usually spends the majority of his time. Now that you have received the letter, consider the cancellation official. It was nice doing business with you, but we will not make any games or take any ideas you have into consideration nor will we make Sonichu the game or anything related to it. Sincerely, Reggie Fils-Aime President Nintendo of America, Inc.

And it is Official that YOU, Sir ARE an IMPOSTOR. You blatently croped and copied a piece of the letterhead from the letter I've uploaded onto my server, and you have obviously forged that signature. I am Ceasing my contact with you at Your current E-mail address, as well as "Mr. Miyamoto"'s E-mail address, because You BOTH were IMPOSTOROUS TROLLS. So you can QUIT your Cherade, you bastards. Christian C.

See also

• Captain's Log, Stardate January 30th, 2009
• Captain's Log, Stardate January 31st, 2009
• The Sonichu Chronicles

External links

• Wikipedia article on Reggie Fils-Aimé

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