Difference between revisions of "Robert Simmons V"

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[[Image:RobertSimmonsTheFifth.jpg|thumb|right|Robert Simmons V]]
{{Troll}}


'''Robert Simmons V''' was an [[anti-troll]] that befriended [[Christian Weston Chandler]] on [[YouTube]]. He put on his act copying down aspie traits pat, with a [[Sonichu medallion]] of his own (really just the classic [[Sonic]] colored yellow and with no [[Sonichu]] tail), talked in a [[BILLY MAYS|loud monotone]], liked Sailor Moon (and very kindly wished that CWC would also have Sailor Moon for a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]]), and performed a song he wrote for Chris-chan, complete with a sequence in which he heroically smote the Death ED and [[Jerkops|Robotnikjerks]].
{{infobox
| title = Robert Simmons V
| image = [[Image:RobertSimmonsVsRosechuFanart.jpg|250px|center]]
|header1  = Information
|label1  = Name
|data1    = Robert Simmons V
|label2  = Also known as
|data2    = Sonichu1985<br>Solidus Chris
|label3  = Date of Birth
|data3    = 1985
|label4  = Gender
|data4    = Male
|label5  = Nationality
|data5    = [[United States|American]]
|label6  = [[Chris and race|Race]]
|data6    = White
|label7  = Father
|data7    = Robert Simmons IV
|label8  = Relatives
|data8    = Andrew Simmons I (cousin)
|label9  = Saga
|data9    = {{saga|panda|cn}}, {{saga|emily|cn}}
}}


[[Image:RobertSimmonsCommic.jpg|thumb|Robert Simmons V, in comic form. A very rare sight - a male in a Sonichu comic, aside from Christian himself, portrayed positively.]]  
'''Robert Simmons V''' (born [[1985]]; a.k.a. '''Sonichu1985''', '''Solidus Chris''') was an [[Trolls|anti-troll]] who befriended [[Christian Weston Chandler]] on [[YouTube]] in [[2008]] and [[2009]].


<center>{{#ev:youtube|UtlMYYvEsvU}}</center>
He put on his act copying Chris's traits pat, with a [[Medallions|Sonichu medallion]] of his own (really just the classic [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] colored yellow and with no [[Sonichu]] tail), talked in a [[Speech impediment|loud monotone]], liked ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' (and very kindly wished that CWC would also have Sailor Moon for a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]]), and performed a song he wrote for Chris-chan, complete with a sequence in which he heroically smote to death [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] and the [[Jerkops|Robotnikjerks]].
 
__TOC__


The events that took place in Bob's life also coincided with Christian's life, from account hacking, to getting the medallion taken. Bob seems to have a slightly disturbing relationship with his sinister cousin Andrew Simmons I, who is not a good actor, that seems to parallel Chris' own Fem-dom/Male-sub kink.
{{clear}}


Robert Simmons V has also appeared in ''[[Sonichu 7]]'' in the radio interview with [[Jiggliami]].
==YouTube==
{{Deletedvideo}}
<center>{{#ev:youtube|UtlMYYvEsvU}}</center>


By 21 [[February 2009]], Bob had taken down all of his videos and changed his profile to announce:
The events that took place in Robert Simmons' life also coincided with Christian's life, from account hacking, to getting the medallion taken. Robert Simmons seems to have a slightly disturbing relationship with his sinister cousin Andrew Simmons I, who is not a good actor, that seems to parallel Chris's own Fem-dom/Male-sub kink.


{{quote|I decided to remove all of my videos because I have come to the realization that Mr. Christian Weston Chandler is a horrible person. It took me awhile to understand that Encyclopedia Dramatica did not slander Chris but rather was telling the truth. From lying to his fans about the Nintendo deal, to his perverted ways, I cannot bring myself to be a fan of his comics anymore (not to mention he doesn't even bother to update anymore). My only regret in this whole ordeal is that I wasted my time trying to defend such a self centered, arrogant, sexist, homophobic asshole. As my cousin said it himself about Chris &quot; What a selfish Cow, bottom line lose some fucking weight, God Dammit!&quot;}}
Robert Simmons V also appeared in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] in the radio interview with [[Jiggliami]].


<strike>Although this would suggest Bob is finished with his performance, the profile page still stays in character, so it's possible that more hi-jinks are coming.</strike>
By 21 [[February 2009]], Robert Simmons V had taken down all of his videos and changed his profile to announce:


In March 2009, Robert Simmons V visited Chris at his church and was recorded by an undercover [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], claiming that this message was because someone has hacked into his account.  
{{quote|I decided to remove all of my videos because I have come to the realization that Mr. [[Christian Weston Chandler]] is a horrible person. It took me awhile to understand that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] did not slander Chris but rather was telling the truth. From lying to his fans about the [[Nintendo]] deal, to his perverted ways, I cannot bring myself to be a fan of [[Sonichu (comic)|his comics]] anymore (not to mention he doesn't even bother to update anymore). My only regret in this whole ordeal is that I wasted my time trying to defend such a [[Ego|self centered, arrogant]], [[Women's rights|sexist]], [[Homos|homophobic]] asshole. As my cousin said it himself about Chris &quot;What a selfish Cow, bottom line lose some fucking [[Obesity|weight]], God Dammit!&quot;}}


==Fan art as drawn by Bob==
Robert later claimed that these were not actually his TRUE and HONEST words, but rather, those of [[Clyde Cash]], who had hacked his account.<ref>[[Church audio#00:06:27 - A Wild Chris-Chan Appears]]</ref>
Sometime after Andrew Simmons hacked his account, Robert uploaded a video of him displaying his Sonichu fan art. Some of this art was "Vandalized" by Andrew Simmons. Evidence of Robert being a troll is that the first 3 drawing are incredibly childish while the last 4 appear to be done with sophistication. The video has been deleted due to adult content, but you can download it here: [http://www.mediafire.com/?hdbnxamzgwv]


<center><gallery>
<center><gallery>
Line 33: Line 58:


==Church visit==
==Church visit==
{{main|Church Visit}}


On 15 [[March 2009]], days before [[Emily]]'s date, Robert and another troll drive to Chris's [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] uninvited. Robert goes up to Chris while the other troll remains in the background. Introducing himself with "Hi... I'm Robert," Chris recognizes him and they start talking.
On 15 [[March 2009]], days before [[Emily]]'s date, Robert and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] drove to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Chris's church]] uninvited. Robert goes up to Chris while the other troll remains in the background. Introducing himself with "Hi... I'm Robert," Chris recognizes him and they start talking.


The audio recording of this event lasts 1:47:48. Throughout, Chris's voice is much louder than everyone else's.
Robert accompanies Chris to church; highlights from the audio include [[trolls]], Chris's sweetheart search, ''[[Family Guy]]'' and [[homos]]exuality.


Chris says he's keeping his distance from instant messages. He'd rather not talk about who hacked his Yahoo! account. [[Bob]] is there, but Chris reveals that [[Barbara]] usually stays home.
==In the comic==
Robert Simmons V appears in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], as does [[Blazebob Sonichu]], who was inspired by Robert.


Chris excuses himself to leave Bob to talk to Robert for a few minutes. Bob talks about jerks on the internet, Chris's condition, and early video games. When Chris comes back, he realizes that it's funny both Bob and Robert have the same name.
<center><gallery>
File:RobertSimmonsCommic.jpg|Robert Simmons V, in comic form. A very rare sight - a [[JERKS|male]] in a [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]], aside from Christian himself, portrayed positively.
File:Sonichufan1985.jpg
</gallery></center>


Chris talks about Robert's trouble with finding a girlfriend. Chris has made the final decision to talk to local girls instead of ones on the internet. He's gotten encouragement from [[Rocky]] with ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]''. He talked to 7 girls just last Thursday at [[Alderman Library]], but got a fake number. Chris was emotionally prepared for the fake number from ''Seinfeld''. Bob mentions the [[Sonichu Girls]] club.
==Fan art==
<center><gallery>
File:Bladebob.jpg|Dougler111's design of Robert Simmons V for Sonichu TTAHCS.
</gallery></center>


Chris rambles on about ''[[Family Guy]]'' and Stewie quoting the bible against [[homo]]sexuality. His copy of the bible with Leviticus is different from the church's because it was a graduation gift from Reverend Shin of the Korean church in Chesterfield County. Bob talks about North Korea.
== Sources ==
<references />


After asking Robert for a pen, Chris makes his signature and hands it to Robert, saying it could be valuable one day.
==See also==
 
*[[Liquid Chris]]
They start reciting verses and singing hymns for many minutes. Chris gets to pick a verse for everyone to sing. Bob gets the second pick. Then other people pick. Chris wails over everyone else in some of them.
*[[Andrew Simmons chat]]
 
*[[Jacob Sockness]]
Afterward, Robert reunites with the other troll. They drive away contemplating on Leviticus and raping Emiry.


==See also==
{{PandaSaga}}
*[[CChanSonichuCWC]] - a similar troll who acted like Chris but by pretending to be a better CWC
{{EmilySaga}}


==Extrnal links==
==External links==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=PTQYVRZL Videos in FLV format]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/CompleteFailure2 Robert Simmons videos re-uploaded]
*[http://stream.wellimean.com/cwc/ Abridged church audio]
*[http://stream.wellimean.com/cwc/ Abridged church audio]
*<strike>[http://www.youtube.com/sonichufan1985 1st YouTube account]</strike> Closed
*<strike>[http://www.youtube.com/sonichufan1986 2nd YouTube account]</strike> Closed


{{People}}
{{People}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Simmons V, Robert}}
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Miscreants Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Latest revision as of 17:34, 21 May 2024

Trollll.PNG Troll disclosure: This persona was created, appropriated, or otherwise used by trolls to manipulate Chris.
Though this identity is contrived, the CWCki may treat it as if it were a real identity because it was to Chris. (It's also funnier that way.)
Robert Simmons V
RobertSimmonsVsRosechuFanart.jpg
Information
Name Robert Simmons V
Also known as Sonichu1985
Solidus Chris
Date of Birth 1985
Gender Male
Nationality American
Race White
Father Robert Simmons IV
Relatives Andrew Simmons I (cousin)
Saga PandaHalo, Emily

Robert Simmons V (born 1985; a.k.a. Sonichu1985, Solidus Chris) was an anti-troll who befriended Christian Weston Chandler on YouTube in 2008 and 2009.

He put on his act copying Chris's traits pat, with a Sonichu medallion of his own (really just the classic Sonic colored yellow and with no Sonichu tail), talked in a loud monotone, liked Sailor Moon (and very kindly wished that CWC would also have Sailor Moon for a daughter), and performed a song he wrote for Chris-chan, complete with a sequence in which he heroically smote to death ED and the Robotnikjerks.

YouTube

Nownownownownow.jpg
THAT IS MY VIDEO
This video has been removed from YouTube and/or elsewhere by Jerkops, and requires immediate replacement.
Click to load content

The events that took place in Robert Simmons' life also coincided with Christian's life, from account hacking, to getting the medallion taken. Robert Simmons seems to have a slightly disturbing relationship with his sinister cousin Andrew Simmons I, who is not a good actor, that seems to parallel Chris's own Fem-dom/Male-sub kink.

Robert Simmons V also appeared in Sonichu #7 in the radio interview with Jiggliami.

By 21 February 2009, Robert Simmons V had taken down all of his videos and changed his profile to announce:

“ I decided to remove all of my videos because I have come to the realization that Mr. Christian Weston Chandler is a horrible person. It took me awhile to understand that Encyclopedia Dramatica did not slander Chris but rather was telling the truth. From lying to his fans about the Nintendo deal, to his perverted ways, I cannot bring myself to be a fan of his comics anymore (not to mention he doesn't even bother to update anymore). My only regret in this whole ordeal is that I wasted my time trying to defend such a self centered, arrogant, sexist, homophobic asshole. As my cousin said it himself about Chris "What a selfish Cow, bottom line lose some fucking weight, God Dammit!" ”

Robert later claimed that these were not actually his TRUE and HONEST words, but rather, those of Clyde Cash, who had hacked his account.[1]

  • RobertSimmonsV1.jpg
  • RobertSimmonsV2.jpg
  • RobertSimmonsV3.jpg
  • RobertSimmonsV4.jpg
  • RobertSimmonsV5.jpg
  • RobertSimmonsV6.jpg
  • RobertSimmonsV7.jpg

Church visit

Main article: Church Visit

On 15 March 2009, days before Emily's date, Robert and the Man in the Pickle Suit drove to Chris's church uninvited. Robert goes up to Chris while the other troll remains in the background. Introducing himself with "Hi... I'm Robert," Chris recognizes him and they start talking.

Robert accompanies Chris to church; highlights from the audio include trolls, Chris's sweetheart search, Family Guy and homosexuality.

In the comic

Robert Simmons V appears in Sonichu #9, as does Blazebob Sonichu, who was inspired by Robert.

  • Robert Simmons V, in comic form. A very rare sight - a male in a Sonichu comic, aside from Christian himself, portrayed positively.

  • Sonichufan1985.jpg

Fan art

  • Dougler111's design of Robert Simmons V for Sonichu TTAHCS.

Sources

  1. ↑ Church audio#00:06:27 - A Wild Chris-Chan Appears

See also

Panda saga.png PandaHalo Saga Panda saga.png
The Players: The IRC Chats: The Videos:
Coinciding Sagas: Blanca, Clyde Cash, Julie
MITPS.png Emily Saga MITPS.png
The Players

People: Chris • LoveYouLongTime (Emily • Kim Wilson • Unknown Gal-pals) • Bob Chandler • Man in the Pickle Suit • Magical Man • Clyde Cash • Faeryn • Robert Simmons V • Bryan Bash

LoveYouLongTime: Emily: Kim:
Coinciding Sagas: Clyde Cash, Liquid

External links

    People

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