Trolls

“	...dang dirty trolls!	”
Chris, Cwcville.com (since deleted)

“	What a world we live in, with such trolls in it.	”
Blake, in Sonichu #8

The Furies

Trolls are the various individuals of all races, colors, and creeds united under a common goal - to ruin the Internet's most beloved and most hated autistic manchild, Christian Weston Chandler.

Trolling schemes by these individuals have ranged from hacking CWC's websites to making him take nude pics and more.

Pre ED

It is notable that Chris was trolled IRL before his discovery by 4chan and ED. It can be argued that the first known trolling of Chris occurred when his life-long-friend-who-no-longer-speaks-to-him, Sarah Hammer, locked him under the house when they were children. The next notable trolling occurred during the infamous mini-date with Hanna in 2005 which smashed his heart level to 15%. Around the same time he was also trolled by a girl he contacted through MySpace named Lindsay Kaye. There was also possible trolling of Chris through the guestbook on his website from as early as 2003, when "a hot redhead" said that she would meet him outside of PVCC (either this was epic trolling, or Chris put it on the guestbook himself). And let's not forget about Mary Lee Walsh and The GAMe PLACe hijinks.

But this was was all child's play compared to what happened next....

The Few, the Proud, the Elite

Asperpedia Four

Includes Alec Benson Leary: creator of Asperchu, Evan: creater of Simonchu and therefore Simonla, Sean August Watley: creator of Moon-Pals and Mao: creator of the Asperpedia that brought them together.

BILLY

BILLY MAYS

The individual who trolls as the loud-mouthed salesman of the same name, who types in ALL CAPS, was declared the mayor of CWCville by Chris on 3 March 2009 while under pressure from Max. It is widely suspected that Chris himself had something to do with his untimely death.

Blanca Weiss

Blanca's true identity

"Blanca" was really a trio of trolls (RickyRicardo123, Ickeriss69, and Nurse Icky-chan) who tricked Chris into sending them nudes, and later his Sonichu medallion. Ickeriss later uploaded a couple of videos featuring the Sonichu medallion, including a video in which the medallion is destroyed.

Not to be confused with LordSillyNipples who used the Blanca identity to score the first nudes.

BlueSpike

BlueSpike (AKA "LeonSpike", AKA "Julie", AKA "Max") is a 13-year-old boy who pretended to be Chris's sweetheart "Julie." He later revealed himself as a troll in a now infamous hour-long audio recording in which he berates Christian and makes him stick his Sonichu medallion in his ass.

Bryan Bash (right) with your sister (left)

Bryan Bash

Bryan Bash is a close friend of the late great Clyde Cash. He is the one who sent hookers over to Chris's house, as well as the person who called during the infamous Bob Walks In audio file and is responsible for leaking an image of Chris having sex with the members of his Guitar Hero band (including a niggo). Additionally, he leaked the Father Call and the Kacey and Liquid Call to /cwc/ on 11 November, 2009, and he has also leaked conversations between Chris and Jack Thaddeus.

Clyde Cash

Clyde Cash

The nefarious Clyde Cash is the most infamous and legendary of trolls. A vile and reprehensible fellow whose very name strikes fear and revulsion into Chris's clogged heart and inspires admiration from the souls of trolls. He posed as Shigeru Miyamoto, raped Chris's beloved PandaHalo, and performed many more amazing feats about which songs shall be written and the minstrels shall sing of in the ages immemorial.

Emily

A brave soul who went on a date with Chris. She was later saved by the Jew in the Pickle Suit.

Jack Thaddeus

The possible successor (and gay lover) of Clyde Cash and is responsible for various PSN-related trollings and also for the CWCipedia ads.

The Jew in the Pickle Suit

An IRL pickleman who answers to Clyde Cash. He saved Emily from the clutches of Chris.

The REAL Chris

Liquid Chris

A YouTube troll who is known for doing a spot-on impersonation of Chris-chan. Within his saga, Liquid Chris is referred to as the TRUE and HONEST Chris-chan and creator of the popular comic character Sonichu, and Solid is referred to as an angry troll named Ian Brandon Anderson, who made outlandish claims that he was the real Chris.

Lordsillynipples

A troll from ED who was responsible for impersonating Blanca and being the first to obtain the now infamous Chris-chan Noodz on 11 September 2008, along with Chris's DVD. She is also responsible for creating the Man in the Pickle Suit.

Robert Simmons V

A YouTube troll who managed to gain Chris's trust by showing him support and mirroring his life. Along with visiting Chris's church and meeting Bob, he also had a hand in organizing the Emily date.

Surfshack Tito

Troll who managed to invoked Chris's wrath on two separate occasions by hacking his PSN and taking the blame for ruining Chris's slim chances with the Wallflower. Recently involved in destroying the PS3.

Vivian

Vivian Gee

The creator of the Sonichu audiobooks and various other Chris-related videos and cousin of Clyde Cash. A former White Knight who turned troll after she realized Chris was a hopeless, thick-skulled moron.

Devil Trolls

Artist's depiction

Featured in...

ModNation Racers too.

Aside from several notable figures above, Devil Trolls are mysterious, evil creatures that appear in Chris's Sonichu comic series. These creatures are first mentioned in Sonichu 9 and make their first full appearance in Sonichu 10.

Like many beings within Chris's comics, the Devil Trolls are inspired by his encounters in real life. Devil Trolls represent the various trolls that have given him such stress over his lifetime. This is shown when Chris encounters a set of them attacking a room containing his stuff from one of his earlier websites.

The Devil Trolls make their first, mentioned appearance as some sort of grass protrusions taking away the fallen "IBAChandler" after Sonichu defeats him in Sonichu 9. They make their full appearance in Sonichu 10, as Chris-Chan Sonichu encounters them inside a room containing his pictures from his various websites. Seeing as Chris can't create anything without ripping off original designs, Devil Trolls resemble those old Troll toys, minus their gems, with long tails and demon like wings. They also sport sharp teeth.

Motivations

Chris's perspective

Chris himself has a more simplistic view of what motivates his enemies. When a Mailbag correspondent asked him to explain why he's trolled, and why so many people seem to hate him, Chris had this ingenious response:

“	"Tehy're just jealous that they did not think of Sonichu first, or that I am more Artistically Talented than they are."	”
Chris, Mailbag 5

This is consistent with the advice given many children who are IRL trolled in school: that bullies are merely jealous of you, and want to see you react unfavorably. Since Chris never moved past high school mentally, he still believes he is hated because he is so much better than everyone else.

From his own attempts to illustrate trolling, it's obvious that Chris has no concept of how it works. When he tried his hand at impersonation, he thought that we'd all be trolled if he pretended to be an epic troll but then, some troll saw trough his lie and forced him to admit that he's a fat idiot. Chris believes that trolling has two steps: pretend to be someone you're not and then "troll" someone by revealing who you really are. Silvana, a character based on his perception of forum trolls who claim to be people they aren't, thinks it's hilarious to pretend to be Meg Griffin, kiss Chris, and then transform once she's out of sight. As a result, Chris walks away happy, unaware that he just kissed a tranny, defeating the entire point of "trolling" him.

Recently, it seems that he's decided that the majority of his hated trolls are actually homosexuals, combining his two major hates into one massive force of nature. The earliest this is seen is message he wrote in his Mailbag section, exploding in rage over an added Twitter and how they could talk about him behind his back. Even more, in his CWCipedia article on the Wallflower, Chris has also decided that the trolls are also black.

Unsurprisingly, Chris also considers trolling a crime and has somehow dedicated himself to stop trolling. However, Chris's views on trolling are very very skewed, as he believes that all trolling is equal to what he had been done to him. A recent video actually has him tell people how to act on the Internet mere moments after revealing his real name, address and phone number.

His parents' perspective

The Matthew Noble call in August 2010 revealed some interesting insights into Bob and Barbara Chandler's interpretation of what has happened to their son over the years. Chris's parents are apparently convinced that the entire Chris-chan trolldom grew out of a conspiracy by Michael Snyder, two alleged homosexuals who attended the GAMe PLACe (possibly Lucas and Mimms), and Megan Schroeder, who worked to get Chris banned from the store and are involved with a general effort to harass and torment Chris. Bob is convinced that it is all because they are persecuting Chris for being autistic, while in reality he was scaring away customers with his behavior and sexually harassing Megan.

It's useful to try to consider things from his parents' point of view. To begin with, there is a worldwide conspiracy, more or less, to pester the Chandlers, violate their privacy, drive their son to do ridiculous things, and otherwise fuck with them in myriad ways. Bob and Barbara are bombarded by crank phone calls all day, nude photos and God knows what else arrive in their mail, signs mysteriously appear on their lawn, Chris has angry screaming matches with people they've never met on the telephone, he once drove off to Ohio to meet a woman who didn't exist, and so on.

Being Chris's parents must be a fairly surreal experience at this point, and given that they belong to a much older generation, they can hardly be expected to develop the grasp of internet social phenomena that they'd need to properly understand their situation. The GAMe PLACe, however small a piece of the bigger picture it may be, is the most significant real, physical element of Chris's adventures in trolldom that they've been exposed to. As ridiculous as their theory may seem, it's probably the best they can do as far as making sense of what has happened and continues to happen to them.

See also

• 4-cent_garbage.com
• CWCki
• Encyclopedia Dramatica
• Rollin' and Trollin'
• White Knight

    People