Difference between revisions of "List of Sonichu characters"
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One of the more popular characters in Sonichu lore, Bill the Scientist was a genetics researcher for [[Team Rocket]] during the organization's brief alliance with [[Robotnik|Ivo Robotnik]]. It was Bill's duty to prepare [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu's]] DNA for the cloning machine, but he inadvertently spilled cherry cola into the sample, mutating the chromosomes of [[Blake|the clone]] until it took on a black color. | One of the more popular characters in Sonichu lore, Bill the Scientist was a genetics researcher for [[Team Rocket]] during the organization's brief alliance with [[Robotnik|Ivo Robotnik]]. It was Bill's duty to prepare [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu's]] DNA for the cloning machine, but he inadvertently spilled cherry cola into the sample, mutating the chromosomes of [[Blake|the clone]] until it took on a black color. | ||
Bill is currently believed to be getting high somewhere with the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]], [[Metal Sonichu]], [[Silvana]] and [[Yawning Squirtle]]. | Bill is currently believed to be getting high somewhere with the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]], [[Metal Sonichu]], [[Silvana]] and [[Yawning Squirtle]]. Chris disputes this unorthodox fan theory in [[Twitter]], saying Bill is still in employ of Giovanni, and may be returning in comic. Will we see his neck, or even the cheek? Will he work the machine? Has Chris found the exact same shade of crayon for his hair? Oh, the endless fan speculation shall continue! | ||
=== Metal Sonichu === | === Metal Sonichu === |
Revision as of 13:49, 13 January 2010
The following is a list of Sonichu characters, in order of appearance.
Sonichu #0
Sonichu
- Main article: Sonichu (character)
Chris-chan's "original" character. Sonichu is a Sonic re-color who is an unholy fusion of Sonic and Pikachu. He is the main protagonist in the comics. That is, until Chris takes the spotlight. His only purpose in recent episodes is to make sleazy sex references and bang Rosechu.
Chris-chan/Chris-chan Sonichu
- Main articles: Christian Weston Chandler and Chris-Chan Sonichu
Chris-chan's alternate self and Mary Sue. In the comic, Chris is portrayed as much more slender than his corpulent IRL counterpart (except in earlier episodes). His medallion allows him to don a fursuit when he shouts the phrase Electric Hedgehog Power!
Perfect Chaos Monster
Perfect Chaos, or "Perfect Chaos Monster" as Chris calls him, is the final form of Chaos, a villain introduced in the Sonic game Sonic Adventure. Composed of a liquid substance, Chaos assumes multiple shapes as it acquires the seven Chaos Emeralds, absorbing their negative energy to increase its power. Upon obtaining all seven, Chaos becomes Perfect Chaos, a serpentine creature of massive size, and proceeds to destroy the city of Station Square. Sonic the Hedgehog defeats Perfect Chaos by utilizing the positive energy of the Chaos Emeralds, which transforms him into Super Sonic.
This battle was adapted by Chris to provide the background for the origin of Sonichu in the premiere issue of his new comic book series.
The story begins with a male Pikachu who wanders to Station Square to witness Super Sonic battling Perfect Chaos, whom Chris identifies as the "Perfect Chaos Monster". Whether this is the same Sonic/Chaos battle depicted in "Sonic Adventure" is unknown, although Chaos destroyed the city in the game, so a rematch in the same city seems dubious.
During the fight, Sonic accidentally collides with the Pikachu, somehow triggering an unexplained phenomenon which imparts Sonic's appearance and powers upon the Pikachu. The new Pikachu/Sonic hybrid awakens to find Sonic has still not defeated Perfect Chaos, and rushes to his aid. Using his new-found powers, he defeats the monster, and the onlookers, who mistake him for Sonic's super form, credit Sonic for the victory. Contemplating his new form, the mutated Pikachu adopts the name "Sonichu", and returns to the wild.
Later, Sonichu meets Sonic in a chance encounter, and the two piece together what happened. After that, Perfect Chaos is never mentioned again in the pages of Sonichu.
Sonic the Hedgehog
- Main article: Sonic the Hedgehog
Sega mascot and a major example of copyright infringement in the comic (aside from Sonichu). He makes a few appearances in the comic. Most notably in Sonichu #0 as he's partly responsible for Sonichu's existence.
Rosechu
- Main article: Rosechu
Sonichu's worthless, 1-dimensional girlfriend. She enjoys flowers, shopping, and getting kidnapped on a regular basis. She is completely incompetent and constantly relies on Sonichu to do even the most menial of tasks for her. Rosechu almost never walks or runs in public, she is always carried around by Sonichu. She also is ridiculously horny. This is Chris's idea of how women behave, likely adapted from TV comedies or anime.
Kel
- Main article: Kel
Female Pokémon trainer who owned the Raichu which transformed into Rosechu. Continued to take care of Rosechu until Sonichu took over as her new pimp. She was never heard from again, though it came to light that by some strange and nonsensical twist of fate, she fell madly in love with Naitsirhc.
David the Dragonite
A Dragonite Kel also owned. The considerate Pokémon trainer offered his sexual services to Rosechu when the latter was in heat, noting that he's "loyal". Rosechu refused, stating that David is "just too big" even for her loose, gaping China, and suggesting Kel have sex with him herself. Kel enigmatically answers that "she can't say she didn't try". Did they or didn't they? History will never know.
Strangely enough, David may have been retconned into "Daisy the Dragonite", as indicated by a listing of Kel's Pokemon on CWCipedia. David, who appeared in Issue 0 (Episodes 2 and 3), is not mentioned on the list, though Daisy is and is the only Dragonite on the list. It would not be out of the question to think that Chris simply forgot about David's importance to the canon and retconned him into a girl, especially probable due to the fact that both names begin with the same letter and Chris couldn't really name a girl "Davidina", plus the fact that he has created gender-benders before. This would indicate that Kel, in fact, offered Rosechu "Daisy" for a lesbian relationship, which in turn calls into question the sexuality of Rosechu, Kel, and the Dragonite, and makes several aspects of the comic a great deal more confusing.
Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc
- Main article: Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc
Originally known as Naitsirhc Giovanni, he was an orphan adopted by the Pokémon villain Giovanni, and raised as a member of Team Rocket. When Chris fell into the Dark Mirror Hole, his Medallion also entered the darkness, awakening a dormant evil within Naitsirhc, and transforming him into an evil version of Chris. Renaming himself Reldnach Notsew Naitsirhc, the new anti-Chris dedicated himself to world conquest, and the destruction of his "straight" twin. Like Chris, Reldnahc has his own Sonichu Medallion, patterned after Black Sonichu, which he uses to transform into his fursona of Reldnahc Ha-Taque Sonichu.
Black Sonichu
- Main article: Black Sonichu
Also known as "Blachu" and "Blake", Black Sonichu was cloned from samples of Sonichu's DNA, which Naitsirhc obtained in battle. Mutated slightly from an accidental cherry cola contamination in the laboratory, the clone grew to have insidious black and red fur, in stark contrast to Sonichu's heroic urine-and-feces color scheme. Initially, Black Sonichu started out as a lackey for Giovanni, and then later Reldnahc, before finally becoming a watered-down good guy with an attitude when he fell in love with Bubbles. Black Sonichu was last seen recuperating from his traumatic rape at the hands of a trannie
The Chaotic Combo
- Main article: Chaotic Combo
Five other Electric Hedgehog Pokémon spawned as eggs from the Rainbow that created Sonichu. Scattered throughout the region, they would eventually discover each other in common battle against Black Sonichu. The group is composed of:
- Wild Sonichu: Green recolor. Prays that God might pity him enough to grant him free sex.
- Punchy Sonichu: Red recolor. Knuckles the Echidna minus personality plus weird racist-looking eyes.
- Bubbles Rosechu: Blue recolor. Airhead slut.
- Angelica Rosechu: White recolor. Fatass slut. Gave up dieting for Lent.
- Magi-Chan Sonichu: Purple recolor. Sort of a furry Dr. Manhattan with a vest. Not a magician.
Flame the Sunbird
- Main article: Flame the Sunbird
Shameless ripoff of Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie who seems to be in dire need of pants. Flame is the guardian of the Legendary Master Sunstone, and joined Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo in rescuing it from Black Sonichu. He would later be seen attending the Chaotic Combo's birthday party at the mall. It is emphasized that he is not a Pokemon, yet he readily uses Pokemon attacks, such as Drill Peck.
Sarah Hammer
- Main article: Sarah Hammer
Chris's childhood friend, whom he later selected to bear his children before he discovered she was involved with another man. Chris nonetheless depicted her as the reincarnation of the Queen of the Cherokian Clan in his comics, and bestowed upon her the power to become a super-powered furfag just like himself. As Saramah Rosechu, Sarah joined Chris-Chan Sonichu and Wes-Li Sonichu in a prophesied battled against Count Graduon. Failing to actually defeat the villain, the trio sort of split up, leaving Chris to deal with him alone.
Wes Iseli
- Main article: Wes Iseli
Sarah's boyfriend, whom Chris jealously demonized in his comics by casting him as the descendant of the Wasabi Clan, a band of power hungry Native Americans who were enemies with the Cherokee. When Chris fulfilled the Anchuent Prophecy by becoming Chris-Chan Sonichu, Wes was visited by the spirit of the Wasabi leader, who granted him the power to become Wes-Li Sonichu. At first, Wes used his powers to attack Chris, until Sarah dumped his ass and convinced both of them to join her in defeating Count Graduon. Wes would later appear as a directionless villain, attacking Sarah Hammer's wedding in Sonichu #5, and attending Mary Lee Walsh's villain conclave in Sonichu #7.
Mary Lee Walsh
- Main article: Mary Lee Walsh
Arch-nemesis to Christian (and by extension, Sonichu), Walsh is based on the real life dean of Piedmont Virginia Community College, against whom Chris has nursed a grudge for years. In the comics, Walsh is portrayed as tyrannical witch, waging a bitter and ruthless war against love itself. For some reason, she considers cock-blocking Chris to be of vital importance to her goals, even though Chris does a pretty good job of that himself.
Jerkops
- Main article: Jerkops
Villainous foot-soldiers of Mary Lee Walsh, the Jerkops are based upon various police officers and security guards Chris has encountered during his Love Quest.
Zapdos
See Pokémon
Pokémon used by Naitsirhc to capture Rosechu and battle Sonichu in CWCville Mall. Although Sonichu was victorious, Naitsirhc obtained a sample of Sonichu's DNA, which he would use for his own evil purposes.
Metonic
- Main article: Metonic
Evolved form of Sonichu. Appears only in Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.
Vamprosa
- Main article: Vamprosa
Evolved form of Rosechu. Appears only in Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.
Barbara Chandler
- Main article: Barbara Chandler
Chris's mother, and Sonichu's grandmother. Or something. The two rescued Barbara from Naitsirhc in one of the Classic Sonichu strips reprinted in Sonichu #0
Jerkhief
- Main article: Jerkhief
Leader of the Jerkops. The Jerkhief is a massive African American man in a brown police uniform. Known for his beloved catchphrases "My wooden badge was delicious!" and "MAH SOUL HURTS!"
Sonichu #1
Doctor Robotnik
- Main article: Doctor Robotnik
Arch-nemesis to Sonic the Hedgehog. Enlisted to aid Giovanni in capturing Sonichu.
Team Rocket
Team Rocket is the villainous organization that captures Pokémon (from the series of the same name). But somehow the company has either fallen on hard times because of the global recession or made a fucking stupid business decision as they set up a new headquarters in CWCville.
Team Rocket is run by Giovanni and his retarded homosexual son, Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc.
They are also responsible for the creation of Blake.
Giovanni
- Main article: Giovanni
Leader of Team Rocket. Determined to capture Sonichu at any cost, Giovanni teamed up with Doctor Robotnik to devise the perfect trap for Sonichu. Their plot was foiled, however, thanks to the timely intervention of Sonic the Hedgehog.
Bill The Scientist
One of the more popular characters in Sonichu lore, Bill the Scientist was a genetics researcher for Team Rocket during the organization's brief alliance with Ivo Robotnik. It was Bill's duty to prepare Sonichu's DNA for the cloning machine, but he inadvertently spilled cherry cola into the sample, mutating the chromosomes of the clone until it took on a black color.
Bill is currently believed to be getting high somewhere with the Boulder-Dropping Whale, Metal Sonichu, Silvana and Yawning Squirtle. Chris disputes this unorthodox fan theory in Twitter, saying Bill is still in employ of Giovanni, and may be returning in comic. Will we see his neck, or even the cheek? Will he work the machine? Has Chris found the exact same shade of crayon for his hair? Oh, the endless fan speculation shall continue!
Metal Sonichu
The Sonichu rip-off of Metal Sonic. Funnily enough the only character that is a rip-off even according to Chris. Sadly though, he blames Robotnik for it. After being defeated by Sonic and Sonichu in Sonichu 1 he crashes into the moon, however, he survives this attack, as evident by his hand rising out of one of the craters resulting in a cliffhanger. His current whereabouts are unknown, but Count Graduon is also on the moon now, so it is possible they are an alliance. The fans have speculated that Chris probably just forgot about the piece of shit and he will never be heard of again, but Mailbag and Twitter updates hint that in Issue 11, Graduon will return from the moon, possessing Metal Sonichu — and by saying that Chris totally ruined this awesome completely predictable plot twist. Damn you, Twitter!
Amy Rose
- Main article: Amy Rose
Sonic the Hedgehog's love interest. Met Rosechu one day in CWCville Mall, and the two discussed their uncanny resemblance, and their respective vapid love lives.
Hanna
- Main article: Hanna
Woman who trolled Chris IRL by pretending to respond favorably to his Attraction Sign. Chris, epic lulzcow that he is, not only fell for the ruse, not only shouted "NOOOOOOOO!" in a public place when he discovered the truth, not only e-mailed her to ask her out again sometime, but also documented the entire sorry affair in his own comics.
Sonichu #2
Keeper of the Destiny Cave
An old fart who had hung around by an old cave for centuries, waiting for Chris to come along and use his Medallion to transform into his fursona. After revealing the Anchuent Prophecy to Chris and Sonichu, the Cave Keeper was never seen again. He's probably having a toke or two with Yawning Squirtle, if he's smart.
Golem
Weapon used by Count Graduon after escaping from the Destiny Cave and joining forces with Mary Lee Walsh. Upon learning that the Golem had attacked CWCville, Chris-Chan Sonichu,Wes-Li Sonichu, and Saramah Rosechu teamed up to destroy it. Stolen from Sonic Adventure 2.
Count Graduon
- Main article: Count Graduon
The Evil released when the Anchuent Prophecy was fulfilled. Graduon is a centuries-old evil wizard who was trapped inside a magic wand by the Cherokian Clan. In the 21st Century, he has forged an alliance with Mary Lee Walsh, and has secretly manipulated Silvana Rosechu to become his trannie rape weapon against the heroic Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.
Sonichu #3
Sonee & Rosey
- Main article: Sonee & Rosey
The (irritating) baby versions of Sonichu, Rosechu, and their recolors. They made their debut appearance on the first page of Sonichu #3.
Venusaur
See Pokémon
A female Venusaur in the jungle discovered Wild Sonichu's egg and adopted him. As Wild inexplicably has retractable tentacles in his arms, the Venusaur trained him in using them to grasp objects.
Scyther
See Pokémon
For no obvious reason, a male Scyther assumed the role of Wild Sonichu's father. Whether this is because it was screwing his Venusaur mother, or felt some obligation to help her raise Wild is unclear. The Scyther trained Wild in using his "Razor Leaf" attacks to cut down trees and such.
In Sonichu #8, Wild would tell Sonichu and Rosechu of the last time he saw his adoptive father. According to Wild, his father was the leader of the "cut-sharp" clan of "Scyther and Scizor". At some point, the "Charmeleon Cult" burned down the dojo in the jungle that served as their headquarters. Wild joined his father on a mission to take revenge, but the Scyther was intercepted and captured by poachers instead. Wild cried like a bitch while the poachers loaded his dad in their van, then finally attempted to use his super powers to free him. The Scyther told him to stop, however, since he knew Wild was too much of a failure to cut through the steel frame of the van. Wild's last memory of his father was of "the passing-of-the-torch look in his eyes".
Ever since that fateful day, Wild has sworn to take revenge on the poachers, a complex scheme which apparently involves moving to CWCville, hanging out at Spring Break parties, and attending Dating Education classes. As for his father, by now the poachers have probably stuck him in a jar with a scorpion and forced them to fight to the death.
Note: Although the correct pronunciation of "Scyther" is "sigh-ther", this is routinely ignored in the Audiobooks.
Swampert
See Pokémon
A female Swampert adopted Bubbles Rosechu upon discovering her egg on the beach. Unlike Wild's parents, the Swampert doesn't seem to have taught Bubbles much of anything, and the pair spent her childhood splashing in the water like idiots. This idyllic existence was brought to and end when a Wailord dropped a giant boulder on the Swampert for no apparent reason. Unable to rescue her mother in her immature Rosey body, Bubbles evolved into her Rosechu form, and somehow used an ice beam to save the Swampert from drowning.
While Bubbles continues to live on the beach, the Swampert has not been seen since her first appearance. This would suggest that at some point, the Wailord returned to finish the job.
Boulder-Dropping Whale
As the name suggests, Boulder-Dropping Whale is a creature resembling a whale, who literally dropped a boulder. This signature attack was used against the Swampert who raised Bubbles Rosechu, and would have drowned the Swampert if not for Bubbles' timely intervention. Although never named in the comic, the whale's anonymity and murderous hatred for Sonichu characters has earned him a cult following among fans, who have dubbed him "Boulder-Dropping Whale", or "BDW" for short.
Originally identified as a common whale in the Audiobooks, Chris stated in a blog in January 2010 that it is a Wailord, a Pokémon who closely resembles a whale. This makes sense, as Chris always uses Pokémon when drawing background fauna in his comics (probably because he didn't pay attention to his biology classes in high school), such as the underwater scene in Sonichu #8 which featured only Pokémon sea creatures, and no naturally occurring wildlife. Further, BDW's trademark attack appears to resemble "Rock Tomb", an attack available to many Pokémon in the video games, including Wailord. Nevertheless, the name "Boulder-Dropping Whale" has stuck, and no matter what his species, he remains a fan favorite.
It is rumored that the Boulder Dropping Whale currently resides on the moon along with Bill, Metal Sonichu, and Yawning Squirtle. They are most likely getting stoned like the heroes they are.
Nuns
The two nuns that raised Angelica, even though real nuns would've burned that abomination the moment they set eyes on it. Their appearance shows us that Chris believes the stereotype that all nuns are white, kind-hearted old ladies. Like Angelica they reinforce religious upbringing by using the words bless and Lord frequently.
In addition to raising Angelica and teaching her how to fly, the nuns also saved the eggshell she hatched from, as some sort of gross souvenir of the day they discovered her; Chris stated in the videobooks that "they saved the eggshell for memories," which seems to shine a light on how his family justifies hoarding so much stuff. As there only appear to be two nuns in their convent, and they seem to have no problem with adopting disgusting mutant sow-people, and they seem to encourage them to masturbate in their supposedly holy dwelling, it's possible that the nuns are actually adult fetish models, and their convent is actually the studio for some sort of kinky reality show.
G.D.W. Shinabe
Also referred to as "Nabe-San", Shinabe is one of Chris' many horrible Excel Saga references. The anime's director, Shinici Watanabe, created an alter ego of himself to use as one of the characters in the series. Naming his self-insertion "Nabeshin" (a play upon his own name), Watanabe utilized him not only as a supporting cast member, but also as a way to break the fourth wall and poke fun at the production of the anime. Nabeshin would be heavily featured again in Puni Puni Poemy a follow-up project to Excel Saga.
In Sonichu, Chris depicts Nabeshin as Shinabe (get it?), who teaches a bizarre form of martial arts and film-editing. He adopts Punchy Sonichu and trains him to become a "strike ninja" after Punchy murders his daughter Mypoe. The initials "G.D.W." stand for Great Director Watanabe, a reference to "Great Teacher Onizuka", a manga about a high school teacher, often abbreviated "GTO". The "GDW" gag was used in Puni Puni Poemy, and so Chris stole the joke and clumsily incorporated it into his rehash character's name.
Mypoe
Mypoe is a loose knockoff of Poemy, the star of Puni Puni Poemy, depicted as Nabeshin's adopted daughter. Chris reversed the syllables in her name, both of them (Poemy refers to herself as "Kobayashi" in the show, a reference to her voice actor, Yumiko Kobayashi. Chris blatantly rips this off with Mypoe calling herself "Byashiko"), and appears to have changed her appearance to resemble Excel instead. In Sonichu, Mypoe is a female student of Shinabe who challenged Punchy Sonichu to a battle moments after he hatched from his egg. During the fight, she tore Punchy's tail off his body, claiming that it was a weak point, and should be removed (a concept stolen from Dragon Ball). The trauma apparently caused Punchy to evolve into his Sonichu form. In retaliation, Punchy attacks Mypoe with a Sky Uppercut, which sends her right out of the Dojo, through the roof. Unfazed, Shinabe adopts Punchy as his new star pupil.
Like all minor characters Mypoe is considered cool amongst the fans.
Mewtwo
See Pokémon
A powerful, reclusive Pokémon genetically engineered from the DNA of the rare Mew, Mewtwo escaped from his creators and briefly plotted to conquer the world in the first Pokémon feature film. Mewtwo's dark, brooding nature and vast psychic abilities would serve as Chris's "inspiration" for Magi-Chan Sonichu, whose egg hatched in the same cave Mewtwo lived in during the movie. As if the connection weren't blatant enough, Chris established that Mewtwo served as Magi-Chan's mentor, contacting him at birth via telepathy and teaching him to use his mental powers. Aside from his mental rapport with Mewtwo, Magi-Chan grew up completely isolated from the rest of the world. In a half-assed attempt to introduce him to civilization, Mewtwo projected memories of Jackie Chan films, other people's birthday parties, and various tourist attractions. Two weeks after Magi-Chan evolved into his Sonichu form, Mewtwo sent him out into the world, promising that they would one day meet face-to-face. As Chris has probably forgotten all about this, though, it'll probably never happen.
B-Manajerk
- Main article: B-Manajerk
Chris's re-imagining of the McDonald's manager who interfered with his Love Quest at Mal-Wart. The B-Manajerk, along with his partner, Merried Seinor Comic, confront Chris after the Jerkhief tells them about him. When Chris refuses to leave, they attack him with Mecha-Jerkops, and Chris is aided by Darkbind Sonichu. As Darkbind handles the other foes, Chris battles B-Manajerk, and defeats his cybernetic armor with the powers of his Medallion.
Merried Seinor Comic
- Main article: Merried Seinor Comic
Companion of B-Manajerk, 'Merried Seinor Comic', also known as 'Kirby', is probably based on an older man who worked for the Wal-Mart which housed the McDonalds' Chris was loitering in that day. In Sonichu, he is depicted as a cyborg with mechanical arms and legs. When he and B-Manajerk attack Chris, Darkbind Sonichu arrives to help, and dismantles Merried Seinor Comic with his superior swordsmanship. Their duel appears to have been a pathetic excuse for Chris to use Monty Python gags in his comic, with Merried Seinor Comic assuming the role of the Black Knight who refuses to admit defeat after losing his limbs.
W-M-Manajerk
- Main article: W-M-Manajerk
The ruler of the Mal-Wart region, 'W-M-Manajerk' confronts Chris shortly after B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic are defeated. Like his henchmen, W-M is a cyborg, although he appears to be a head in a jar of life-sustaining fluid, affixed to an entirely robotic body. Far stronger than the other Manajerks, W-M easily overpowers Chris, until he combines his Medallion with the Heart Torch of Fail to summon his "dream sibling", Crystal Weston Chandler. Using their combined power, Chris and Crystal turn the tables against W-M, and send his disembodied head flying back to Mary Lee Walsh, who sent him to menace Chris in the first place.
Darkbind Sonichu
- Main article: Darkbind Sonichu
Yet another Sonichu recolor, Darkbind is a rip off not only of Sonic and Pikachu, but Darkwing Duck and Link from the Legend of Zelda as well. In his first appearance, Darkbind comes to help Chris defeat the Manajerks at the Mal-Wart region, but leaves just before the W-M-Manajerk shows up to beat the shit out of Chris. Whoops.
Darkbind would later return to repel Mary Lee Walsh's invasion of CWCville in Sonichu #6, and finally reveal that he has been searching for the seven Sonichu Balls to re-awaken his beloved Zelina Rosechu.
Mecha-Jerkops
- Main article: Mecha-Jerkops
Mechanical Jerkops used by the Manajerks to forcibly eject Chris from the Mal-Wart Region. The only two to appear were easily defeated by Darkbind Sonichu, suggesting that they're actually far less formidable than flesh and blood Jerkops.
Sonichu #4
- Crystal Weston Chandler/Crystalina Rosechu
- Snorlax
- ScotPalazzo
- Bagget, Jerkop Daitenzen
- Turdijerk
- Trebor Capman - Accomplice
- Crackder - portmanteau of the Decepticons Thundercracker and...um...Thundercracker.
Sonichu #5
- Jack's Knight as William Spicer (Sarah Hammer's husband)
- Sailor Megtune/Megan Schroeder
- Megagi La Skunk
- Harriet
- Joseph
- Julia
- Nick
- Jamsta Sonichu
- CWCville Constable
- CADD Chef, aka Keneru-Meneth
Sonichu #6
- Patti Chandler/Patti-Chan
- Allison Amber
- Shadow the Hedgehog (in Christian & The Hedgehog Boys ad)
- Zelina Rosechu
- Clawdorf
- Bionic the Hedgehog
Sonichu #7
Mighty the Armadillo
Mistakenly spelled "Mighty the Armordillo" by Chris, Mighty is a supporting character from the Sonic The Hedgehog video games, including "Knuckles Chaotix" and "SegaSonic The Hedgehog". Due to his relative obscurity and passing resemblance to more popular Sonic characters, Mighty may be misidentified by Sonichu readers as another one of Chris's crappy "original" characters.
When Chris travels back in time to relive the moment he "created" Bionic the Hedgehog, he recalls that he would often imagine Sonic characters acting out scenes in the books he read. According to Chris, he was reading a "Fear Street" novel by R.L. Stine, imagining Mighty as one of the characters, when he was struck on the head by a basketball, and at the same moment, imagined an orange version of Sonic emerging from a locker door where Mighty was standing.
Sammy
- Main article: Sammy
A "fat, stupid" version of Chris utilized for the "Family Guy Skitch" featured in Episode 15. In a typical "Family Guy" style aside, Chris recalls a fictional memory of himself in an embarrassing situation, bearing a strong resemblance to Peter Griffin. Later, this same alternate version of Chris appears to speak with the real Chris, who identifies the character as Sammy, who merely "played" Chris in his memory. Sammy is a beloved figure to trolls, as he is ironically a far more accurate caricature of Chris than the skinnier version who actually stars in the comic.
- Skelevision
- Ghost Buggy
- The Filmation Ghostbusters
- Kellie Andes
- Bender Bending Rodreiguez
- Joseph Herring
- Beavis
- Butt-head
Janekops
Female Jerkops. Chris suggested the possibility of female Jerkops in Sonichu #4, by describing a "Hypno-gun" the Jerkops use to transform retarded people into new Jerkops. Presumably, then, any Janekop would be a female victim of such a weapon. Jerkops with tits would be seen standing guard at PVCC in issue #7, so these are most likely the same Janekops Chris suggested earlier.
- Jason Kendrick Howell
- Kathleen (Jason's Woman Slave)
- Blanca
- Jiggliami
- Lolisa Rosechu
- Robert Simmons V aka sonichufan1985 aka sonichufan1986
Sonichu #8
- Thurston Howell III
- Lovey Howell
- Beel
- 4-cent_garbage.com employees
- George W. Bush
- Barack Obama
- John McCain
- Hillary Clinton
- Sarah Palin
- Simonla Rosechu
- Zapina Rosechu
Greta Squall
News anchor for "FQX News". Covered CWCville's 2008 Spring Break celebration on location, and became so overcome with the festivities that she stripped down to a swimsuit and leaped into a pool. Horribly disfigured, her face bears several scars, each shaped like the numeral "2", and her arms are swollen to abnormal size, possibly due to localized gigantism.
- Silvana Rosechu
- Yawning Squirtle (hell yeah!)
- Mudkips
- Seadra
- Goldeen
- Staryu
- Corsola
- Octillery
- Mantine
- Corphish
- Optimus Prime
- Troll from the movie "Troll"?
- Sarah Jackson
- Sarah Cassandra McKenzie aka Panda Halo
Sonichu #9
- Sarah Jackaras - Comic version of Sarah Jackson
- George Phillip - Looks like Kenny from South Park.
- Layla Flaaffy
- Ivy
- Reginald Sneasel - Hates darkies and shows obvious signs of jealousy just like Chris
- God/Jesus
Florance Fisher
One of the few black characters in Sonichu that isn't evil. She is rejected by Reginald, mirroring Chris' own refusal to date a black woman. Crudely resembles South Park's art style, and was probably traced.
- Rita Jackaras
- Barely mentioned:
- Amy Testa
- Clem Jennings
- Geraldine
- Fred Shiflet
- Emily Ryan
- Unnamed computer-lab attendant
- Clyde Raymond - Scored the lowest on the dating test. Possible stab at Clyde Cash
- Robots (Transformers rip-offs, because Chris can't ruin your childhood enough):
- Prower - Punchy's Motorcycle, recolor of Samurai Prowl from Transformers Animated
- Scoundrals As Vessels - evil PVCC Decepticon, Repaint of Swindle from Transformers Animated
- Son-Chu - Chris's gay ass car with the Sonichu vanity plate
- Bumble-Lumba - recolor of Bumblebee from Transformers Animated. also a pizza delivery car
- Excelina - recolor of R.C. from Revenge of the Fallen.
- Armoraxe - recolor of Sound Wave from Transformers Animated, Even has guitar as a weapon.
To be introduced in Episode 20
Both were created by PandaHalo. [1]
- IBAChandler - The Sonichu variation of Liquid Chris.
Sonichu #10
Bugs Bunny
A beloved American cartoon icon for decades, representative of the wacky World War II propaganda cartoons and the early 20th century vaudeville theater, Bugs Bunny appeared briefly in Sonichu #10 to scold Jimmy Hill for his infringment upon Sonichu's copyright. This is a subtle reference to Mr. Hill's conviction over bootlegging Warner Bros. merchandise in Europe years earlier.
Others
Sonichu Special 2
Ching Chong
A small Chinese girl that Ivy tutored in art. Ching Chong became mentally scarred for life due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own "Navy" while innocently browsing the Encyclopedia Dramatica website. Chris offered formal excuses to her in a Captain's Log video. In the comic she appear as the flower girl.
- Keino - Ivy's dad
- Crass and Champ - Ivy's hermit crabs which are ring bearers
- Canino Houndhowl - receptionist for wedding, a creation of Megan that Chris ripped off
- Gecko and Mantis, a pair of Raptor Chefs.
- Lilith - A meowth who is a bridesmaid
- Rachel - Ivy's best friend, the maid of honor
- CWCville Baptist Church Pastor
- My Little Pony
- Spas - a feline pianist
Sonichu Special 4
- CChanSonichuCWC - The REAL CHRIS who is falsely portrayed is a madman who kidnapped Kacey and likes to cut people
- Kacey - The Damsel in Distress
- Megatron - used to injure a man who is already disarmed.
- Kacey's family - All are thankful to Ian Brandon Anderson for shooting the unarmed Real Chris in the legs
- Matt Devoria - Kacey's father who looks like Guile from Street Figher 2. (Hates Ian in real life and doesn't want them to marry).
- Kacey's mother
- Kacey's brother
- Kacey's sister - Says Ian is a "hot man" and Liquid Chris is a "geeky twerp"
Sauce
- ↑ From the CWCKipedia Sonichu page, under "Sonichu's Evolution" "Fire Stone = Blazebob Sonichu (to be Introduced soon in Episode 20 with Chloe Rosechu; both were fabricated by late Loyal Sonichu/Rosechu Fan and True Australian Gal-Pal, PandaHalo. She died in the brushfires of Australia April, 2009; she will always have a place in my heart with her singing of "Lift Up Your Eyes" from PlanetShakers)."