Mumble 11.5

Transcript

This transcript is a continuation of Mumble 11 and begins at 14:48.

Bluespike: I love how you start talking when I say "Hey." Anyway, (pronounces it "ahyway" like Chris always does) Chris, you seem like the kinda person that would know about this: since it appears to be an IP ban, this will not last forever, surely... and would you happen to know if (unintelligible) account share (?)- which is exactly what happened- how long would I be banned, do you think?

Chris: I dunno. I d- I guess it's up to them. I don't know bout them. I mean, I did not even know- (he starts sounding agitated) I only gave them my account information, not yours, I swear... I sw-

Bluespike: (Talks over him) I never said- I never- just- I know, I- yes, I know-

Chris: (Resumes talking) ...yeah, but ahyway, appa- but- yeah- but ahyway, apparently, they lead ya (?) to that and they apparently banned ya off there. I mean, I dunno.

Bluespike: ...yes...

Chris: Probably be, like, a week or so, but, you know, you can call them with the 800 number I just gave you.

(Bluespike and Chris talk at the same time, someone else says something too)

Jack Thaddeus: Chris, why are you helping this monster?

Guy: You are truly a saint for doing this.

Chris: Yeah, if- hey- if only I- (gets cut off) helping him get his PSN account back, and just- make him feel- make him feel like, you know, get his life back in order... and then maybe he'll be more willing to give back my yahoo account.

Bluespike: Hey, Chris, after this experience, I will never troll again; in fact, I will fight the trolls...

Chris: Okay.

Jack Thaddeus: We will all fight the trolls.

Bluespike: after this is done.

Jack Thaddeus: You stop trolling now, you troll!

Guy: We will kick their collective asses.

Jack Thaddeus: You are a bad person, Bluespike.

Bluespike: Well, you're really saying tha-

Jack Thaddeus: (Interrupts) Didn't your mother raise you better?

(Several people talk at once)

Chris: Hey, easy, guys. Those of you- hey, hey hey hey, easy.

Bluespike: Well, I guess you don't want the PSN.

(Several people talk)

Foreign Guy: Smack him, Chris!

Sunshine: Blue, shut up!... shut up and let Chris talk.

Bluespike: ...One more word out of any of you and Chris will never have the- yahoo again.

Chris: Easy, guys. Easy.

Bluespike: C'mon! I dare you: say one word. Do it.

Chris: Hey, easy, guys; don't- let's not kick him in the teeth, or, uh, tha- or anything that physical.

Bluespike: I dare you to kick me in the teeth, Chris.

Jack Thaddeus: -but Chris, in your one video, you said that trolls get a kick in the teeth!

Bluespike: ...and you did a punch.

Chris: Yeah, well, I was talkin' about an adult troll; this guy's a thirteen- this guy's a thirteen-year-old.

Jack Thaddeus: So? That doesn't make it any better or... that doesn't mean he's exempt from punishment.

Chris: Yeah, well, still... talkin' bout legal aspects.

Guy: Well, I guess you should be giving him space (unintelligible) or something.

Bluespike: That's it.

Jack Thaddeus: Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you, Bluespike? I heard you were a homosexual.

Bluespike: (Talks over him) Well I- well I warned you... I warned you all had one more chance. Now, because of his fans, Chris will not have his yahoo.

Jack Thaddeus: No! We will stop you. I know where you live, Bluespike.

Bluespike: No you don't.

Jack Thaddeus: Yes I do.

Chris: (Interrupts) Look- look, look...

Jack Thaddeus: I'm tracking your IP.

Bluespike: I'm behind seven proxies.

Jack Thaddeus: I can see through them.

(Several people talk)

Guy: Not proxies! (?)

Jack Thaddeus: (Laughs)

Bluespike: Yes, proxies. You will never find out where I live unless you have my... (gets talked over)

Sunshine: Guys! Let Chris talk!

Jack Thaddeus: Alright, talk, Chris.

Chris: I didn't have much to say. I was just, uh... mostly, uh, I do wa- I do want and need my yahoo account back.

Jack Thaddeus: Couldn't you just cancel it?

Chris: No, I have to lo- I have to be logged in in order to do that.

Foreign Guy: (?) Couldn't you call yahoo?

Chris: I don't know, I don't- I couldn't find there- uh, last time I tried goin' to- tryin' to contact yahoo, I couldn't find a phone number on there.

Guy: Ohh... what about email?

Chris: Uh, I could try that, but that's, uh, er, that's another story, but, uh... (trails off)

Bluespike: Thank you. Anyway, Chris, I'll give you and your fans one more chance. How does that sound?

Chris: Ugh... fine. (Pauses) Nobody pick on Bluespike... and I'll tell you what: as a bonus, I'll take down that video I uploaded earlier.

Bluespike: No, keep it up as a testament to the things I've done. Please keep it up. (pauses) So, Chris, how would you feel about pulling the playstation for me, since I am not very good with talking to people on the phone.

(Chris sighs)

Bluespike: See what you can get done.

Chris: Fine, I'll do something, alright?

Bluespike: Yes, after this mumble you will get on a call with... (gets talked over)

Chris: bu- bu- bu- but I nee- but I need- but, um, Bluespike I need to u- know your real name in real life.

Bluespike: Oh, forget that, man. I'm just gonna call em myself.

Chris: I gotta tell em your real name so I can call them for you.

Bluespike: If I tell you that, you're gonna come find out where I live and- give me a cold... so forget that. (pauses) Chris, another thing: why are you telling your fans to give me a cold?

Chris: Because, I'm suffering through one that's similar to a cold.

Bluespike: Yes, but you see- Chris, my PSN ban- that's kind of the equivalent of a cold... except I'm really mad.

Chris: Alright, fine, well, nobody give Bluespike a cold either.

Bluespike: Yeah, don't give me a cold, bro... I need vaccines.

Foreign Guy: You could give him AIDS!

Bluespike: I'm gonna give you AIDS.

Jack Thaddeus: (unintelligible) ...nevermind.

Bluespike: You'd better.

Jack Thaddeus: Um, also, Chris, what was- in the video you made- what was that about Billy Mays not being mayor?

Chris: Yeah... Another thing that I thought, ah, I thought I was doing for an adult woman.

Bluespike: Chris...

Chris: (Stutters a lot) ...I verbally dubbed him... mayor.

Bluespike: Oh, a few things, Chris, if I may: um... (gets talked over)

Jack Thaddeus: Well, then we saw this picture- hold on, I wanna show Chris this picture.

Bluespike: Ah, yes, after I... say one thing.

Chris: Oh, whoah whoah, now wait, is this a picture that you, uh, got in an email?... about- (gets talked over)

Jack Thaddeus: No.

(Jack and Chris talk at the same time.)

Jack Thaddeus: It's something that was floating around on the forums... (trails off, saying something about Billy Mays)

Bluespike: (kind of unintelligible, but names products advertised by Billy Mays. Someone else adds a product.)

Chris: Wait, wait, wait- let me just, uh, let me just ask Bluespike: why him be mayor? Why him?

Jack Thadeus: Because he's a charismatic leader.

Bluespike: Because Billy Mays is the best person in the world. By the way, if I may really quickly... you should fight your own battles instead of getting your fans to do it for you. You're not playing overlord; (?) you can't order your minions.

(Jack talks over Bluespike saying "um, Chris" while someone else burps)

Bluespike: Are you serious?

Jack Thaddeus: Chris, since he's wearing that medallion... Chris, I have a- you see the picture? Since he's wearing the medallion, doesn't that mean he's mayor? I thought that-

Chris: -No, no, no; the medallions have nothing to do with being mayor.

Foreign Guy: But Chris, you said that-

(Some guy yells over him weirdly)

Chris: The medallions have nothing to do with being the mayor!

(Several people talk at once; a girl says "stop bullying him!")

Girl: Everybody calm down!

Chris: And also, ihya look- if you look at this picture, that thing has obviously been photoshopped onto there... and I think that, uh...

Jack Thaddeus: (Talks over him) It doesn't look photoshopped.

Bluespike: And by the way um...

Chris: That i- it is photoshopped- I mean, do you see a shadow underneath the medallion? If it was r- was more matching to the setting?

Jack Thaddeus: Well, it's against his shirt!... It's against his shirt.

Bluespike: Yeah, he doesn't wear it outside his collar.

Jack Thaddeus: Yeah.

Bluespike: By the way, um...

Chris: (Talks over him) So it's doesn- so it's been obviously photoshopped.

Bluespike: Before I forget what I'm going to say... ah, yes: how can you believe what you say in that video without your true and honest medallion? Chris, tell me this, and tell me why I should believe the words you say on the youtube video on the internet. Please, do tell me.

(someone coughs)

Chris: I ha- I still have my high school ring, which has been in league with my medallion the whole time.

Bluespike: Yes, but... you could have easily stolen the ring... (gets talked over)

Foreign Guy: But you said in the (???) video that the medallion is needed!

Chris: Oh- if you all recall the preview for the- number ten comic book, the powers all (?) die and get transferred to my high school ring.

Foreign Guy: (?) But I thought that was just your power for Chris-Chan Sonichu, though.

Chris: Yeah, everything about Chris-Chan Sonichu even gets transferred to the ring.

Jack Thaddeus: (Over Chris) I thought this was like, uh...

(Several people talk at once)

Foreign Guy: Chris, this hasn't happened yet- you are not out of the time vortex in the comic yet.

Chris: I've drawn myself out of there.

Jack Thaddeus: Um, Chris, but wasn't that a, um... like, trailer or something for the real comic? I thought that, uh... so, is it canon or is it not canon?

Chris: *sigh* It's canon to real life, as well... this one.

Guy: You can turn into Sonichu??

Jack Thaddeus: Wh- yeah, you can transform in real life?? What?!

Chris: No, I can't transform in real life, but it's canon-

Jack Thaddeus: Oh.

Chris: ...it's canon to- it's canon for- it's canon for... that sorta thing. You know, I don't need my medallion; I- the powers got transferred to my ring... it's canon.

(Chris's phone rings)

Guy: So what happened to Blanca?

Chris: Scuse me. (Gets up to answer the phone.) Hello?... Yes...

(Someone makes a weird noise)

Bluespike: Who could be calling our dear Chris-Chan?

Chris: (Still on the phone) Yes.

Foreign Guy: (?) Why, yes, I would like to save money on my car insurance.

(Everyone laughs.)

Jack Thaddeus: Blanca got the medallion, that troll.

Chris: ...but, uh, tell me something I don't know.

Bluespike: (???) We all know that.

Chris: I appreciate (???)

(A long pause here)

Bluespike: I appreciate your condolences.

Chris: (???)

Bluespike: Tell me, Chris... who was on the phone?

Guy: I think he's still on the phone.

Other Guy: Shh.

Bluespike: Hey, Chris... can you hear me?

Guy: Shut up.

Sunshine: Hey, Blue... don't me an idiot.

Chris: (Gets back onto mumble, sighing) Alright.

Bluespike: So, Chris... who was on the phone?

Chris: Uhh, just a- fan, giving me his... nice... words and condolences for all the bad (?) that's been happening to me from... trolls.

Jack Thaddeus: (Talks over him) Bluespike was in here earlier, telling that- saying that he- you didn't have any real fans, and we were all trolls. We told him we're the true, honest fans, cause we are.

Chris: Yeah. Tell it like it is, brother... and sisters.

(Several people talk at once)

Guy: If the powers are in the high school ring, why have a medallion at all?

Jack Thaddeus: No! He transferred the powers from the medallion-

Guy: -I know, but-

(Several people talk at once)

Bluespike: Actually, I do know the answer to this: think Linus in, uh, Peanuts. He... feels attached to the medallion, like Linus feels to his blanket...

Foreign Guy: (Something unintelligible about the medallion)

Bluespike: ...and, it's Linus, except Linus is slightly cooler.

Guy: Huh... but, I noticed that- the ring- it could be like in Captain Planet.

(Several people talk)

Guy: Let Chris talk! I wanna hear his answer.

Chris: *sighs* I'm done, (?) but, uh, pretty much, yeah... but that is fairly much... yeah, the medallion was like a security blanket... in a sense.

Guy: And now the ring's a security blanket?

Chris: Yeah. It was attached to the medallion, as well. So, there you go. (Pauses) It was a thing- there was a characteristic of the m- of the ma- of the medallion that, ah, would se- would separate it from any thieves. It had a little thing on the back that was custom-fitted to my ring. (Pauses) I had my ring on it the whole time.

Guy: I thought the first medallion didn't have a thing for the ring.

Chris: The first one didn't, but the second one I created did.

Guy: Kay.

Chris: So it's like, you know, after the first one was- first one went, then I created the second one, added the slot with the ring, and, like, I transferred my memories from the old medallion to the new medallion, and in turn it got tra- all that got trans- all that and then some got transferred to the ring.

Guy: Oh.

Jack Thaddeus: Chris, don't you have multiple medallions, like, uh, the... Blachu one and the, uh... I mean... Blake one?

Chris: Yeah, no- yeah, no comment about those. No comment about those.

Jack Thaddeus: What do you mean, no comment? Can't you just wear those in the meantime?

Bluespike: (Talks over Jack) Chris, why don't you tell us what happened? Tell us what happened.

Chris: (unintelligible) Aaagh... (his phone rings) Same thi- same thi- (mutters) excuse me... (gets up to answer the phone)

Jack Thaddeus: Jeez.

Guy: Explain that- (???) in the comic books.

Other Guy: Shush.

Chris: Uhh, no. This is Christian Chandler, his son. (Pauses) Uhh, sorry. She's taking a nap right now. (Pauses) Speak it again. (?)

Guy: What's going on?

Jack Thaddeus: Shut up!

(A very long pause; some random noises are heard)

Jack Thaddeus: Are you there, Chris?

Sunshine: He's on the phone.

Guy: Echo, echo, echo...

Other Guy: Shut up.

(Long pause)

Chris: Yeah, it's a webcam. (Pauses) Yeah, I ha- I haven't done anything like that in a- f- for da long time. (?) (Pauses) Yeah yeah, I've been stepping away from the internet. (He pauses and/or gets cut off) ...webcam. (Long pause) ...and sometimes I'm rather low-functioning, I guess. (Pauses) You (?) don't have to do that; I'm not talking to the people.

Guy: Yeah... yeah yeah yeah.

(A strange noise can be heard; it may be part of a video)

(Long pause)

Chris: (???) sir, you shush. (?) Go ahead, father. (?)

(Trolls say stuff and tell each other to shut up)

Chris: It doesn't- (???) -it doesn't matter if I was cut off the internet or not. (Pauses, weird thumping noises) Yeah, well, I mean- yeah, I been ta- (gets cut off) Alright, well, good. I'm backing off (?) now; you can tell me more later. (?) (Pauses) I'll talk to you later, father. (Sighs) (Pauses) (Sighs again, getting back on mumble)

Sunshine: Chris, is everything okay?

Chris: Yeah, things are okay. Listen, I gotta go; I have things to do; I'll talk to y'all another time.

(Everyone goes crazy and tries to figure out what's going on.)

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