Mumble 11

The eleventh and last of the Mumble chats involving Chris.

• Chris is GOING OUTSIDE.
• He's going to stop wearing his medallion.
• He admits that he shoved it up his ass, thus he doesn't have it.
• "No comment" on other medals (Blake, etc.).
• Staring a hentai comic in which he'll be looking at lots of porn for "references for DICKS... And.. BOOBIES."
• Someone called his house several times.
• Talks about Billy Mays.

Transcript

NOTE: When I started transcribing this, I wasn't sure who was who or how to look it up. Therefore, I will refer to people I can't identify as guy, girl, etc. until either I figure it out and change it or someone else adds in the names.

(Several people talking at once; someone says "I can hear you" and as the voices die down someone asks "How are you, Chris?")

Chris: Well, I got a cold. That's one thing I'm doing.

(Again, several people talk at once. One person says "awww" while another says "Drink orange juice!" and another starts to say "Recently..." but then gets cut off by Chris)

Chris: Yeah, I'm drinki- I'm drinkin' plenty ah orange juice and I'm eatin' s- plenty ah chicken also... but ehyway, ah, ehyway, ah...

(Someone says something unintelligible. Others chime in, talking all at once, telling either Chris or whoever just talked to shut up.)

Chris: Put that 13-year-old brat back in da (unintelligible).

(The kid no one likes says something else)

Chris: Can somebody mute him, please?

(More people tell him to shut up)

Guy: So what's up, Chris?

Ehyway, Mr. 13-year-old brat over dere- (a girl giggles) -stole my yahoo account.

(Several people chime in saying "that's terrible" and stuff)

Chris: Yeah, he told me to give him the password t- he told me to give him the password to that to prove my love for Julie, only to find out that he's been Julie this whole time.

(Everyone chimes in about how terrible this is.)

Girl: That's so horrible. Are you okay?

Chris: Eh... I'll be fine, but I don't know if I'll be able to get t- back in my yahoo account now, cause, (unintelligible) I just got billed for my payment for this month on havin' the- on h- on usin' their web serve- on usin their file management- their file- FTP services.

Guy: How much was it?

Girl: Chris... don't worry.

Chris: It's coh me- it costin' me fifteen dollars a month, so widout my, widout my, so- so widout my yahoo account, that thing's gonna charge me every month.

Guy: Can't you just cancel it?

Chris: ...Fifteen dollars a month, that's a lot of, um... what? (He noticed that some girl was just trying to talk.)

Girl: (Repeats) Can you call him?

Chris: Egh... I dunno. Probably not.

Girl: Chris, I'm sure we'll... (unintelligible)... I'm sure we can do something for you.

(Several people talk at once)

Guy: Blue, wait, what's that about PSN?

Chris: Egh- apparently, when I called Sony to get my PSN- to get my PSN back, apparently they found (?) Kim out in the process.

Girl: At least you got (unintellible), right?

Guy: Uh... uh... forgot what I was gonna say.

Other Guy: Damn. What an asshole, Bluespike.

Other Other Guy: Yeah, they do say Karma is a bitch.

Guy: Wait... did you actually think Bluespike was a girl?

(People start talking over each other. Notably, someone seems to say "gecko," a name which seems to be an alias for Liquid Chris.)

Chris: In that case, I'm not gonna di- dignify his question with an answer, because... is- his problem can be easily solved if he called the 800 toll-free number I just provided with him to Sony so he can get his account back and working again.

Guy: Is yours working?

Chris: Yes, mine is working, thank you very much.

Guy: Oh. okay.

Girl: That's good.

Chris: The s- the Sony people was- were very hospitable about that.

Guy: Oh, Chris, there was something I wanted to tell you.

Chris: What?

Guy: You said you were sick with a virus or something?

Chris: Yes. I've been having a sinus infection, and possibly also a cold.

Guy: Well, up here, I was-

Other Guy: (Interrupts) A high-functioning cold?

Guy: Hang on, hang on...

Chris: That's possibly a cold.

Guy: I live here in Ohio, and a flu virus just recently passed through; I think that may have gotten down there and you may have got it... (pauses) ...and honestly I just got over it a few days ago.

(Typing sounds)

Chris: Hang on, I'm, ah, typing something to, ah, Bluespike here.

Guy: Kay. Yeah.

Other Guy: He can still hear you.

Guy: Yeah, you're typing pretty vigorously.

Other Guy: Yeah, he can hear you if you don't wanna, like, you know, skip the typing and start saying it verbally.

Chris: Yeah, I know, I'm just answering his question.

Guy: The (unintelligible) are connected.

Chris: Mmm. Sunshine, are you in the mumble as well?

Sunshine: Yeah. I'm right here.

Chris: Okay, we don't have to type into skype.

Sunshine: Okay. Sorry.

Mr. Skittles: Chris, remember me? I'm the cartoonist known as Mr. Skittles here.

Chris: Yeah, I member you offered me the- I member you offered me the, uh, one week challenge. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to do that, because I got sick.

Mr. Skittles: Oh, I see. Well, um-

Chris: (Interrupts) I'll- I'll tell you what, let's delay that to, uh, after I- after I feel better, or, uh, or- yeah. -Which one are you?- Mr. Skittles- yeah, I'll talk to you later bout that, okay?

Mr. Skittles: Oh, okay. (Pauses) I've already gotten my page done; I could upload more on Friday, though, when I'm not in school.

Chris: Uh... Hey, uh, hey, on a latter note who's co- who's coming onto da playstation home tonight for the Street Fighter 4 Q&A? I just heard about it.

Guy: Well, I don't have a PS3, so I can't.

Mr. Skittles: Yeah, I'm banned for at least a week myself.

Chris: Hm.

Other Guy: (Something unintelligible about "playstation" and "I'm pretty poor")

Guy: I just don't have the money, you know? I'm only fifteen; I can't get a job.

Mr. Skittles: Me, I'm just a hungry college student, so...

Chris: Hm. Well, my bad. I won't, ah, mar- won't, ah, I won't mention- I won't ask the question again, or- or similar to that.

Sunshine: I went to a Street Fighter tournament recently- (gets cut off or pauses) -a street- um, nevermind.

Guy: Yeah.

Chris: Hey, that's okay, yeah, I mean, uh... yeah, very good (?) Street Fighter tournament, uh, in other places, at least, uh... (unintelligible).

(A bunch of people talk. Someone asks, "Are you good at Street Fighter, Chris?)

Chris: I'm sorry, what?

(Again, multiple people say stuff.)

Chris: Yeah, it's alright. There's conflicting... talk here, so I'm not really sure.

Guy: So, are you gonna make more comic pages? I mean, it's kinda hard to keep a fanbase without actually, like, you know... making the comic.

Chris: (Talks over him) I'm g- I'm gonna draw- I'm gonna draw more pages, I'm gonna draw more pages...

Sunshine: Give him a break, guys! He just had a hard time.

Chris: ...Yeah, plus also, this thirteen y- thirteen year old (unintelligible) took my yahoo account and in the process took my ah- took my website down... so it's not like I can upload the pages right away at this point.

Guy: You know, you might as well make them so when... (trails off) ...You know, there's actually websites devoted to just having webcomics uploaded.

(Several people talk at once.)

Chris: I'll- I'll look into that- I'll look into that another time, but not right now.

(Several people talk.)

Jack Thaddeus: Chris, do you think that, um... was Clyde involved with Bluespike?

Chris: Uh, yeah, possibly; they were in- they were in talks.

(Lots of people talk. Chris sighs.)

Sunshine: It's okay, Chris. We're still here for you.

Jack Thaddeus: It could be that Bluespike is Clyde's puppet.

Guy: ...or vice versa.

Other Guy: Uhh, Chris? I have a question.

Chris: Yeah.

Other Guy: Um, Reldnahc in the comic is supposed to be your exact opposite, right?

Chris: Um... sorry, uh, which one?

Other Guy: Uh... I think his name is Reldnahc the guy with the-

Chris: (Talks over him) Oh, ye- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's the complete opposite, yes.

Other Guy: Well, if he's the exact opposite of you in every way, shouldn't he be dead?

Jack Thaddeus: He has a point.

Chris: (Sighs) Forget the alive part. Alive and dead, that's a different thing. I'm talkin about- in ah- complete opposite personality and characteristics. So, like, you know, I'm straight, he's a homo.

Other Guy: Okay.

Sunshine: That was a stupid question.

Chris: Ahyway, also, uh, Bluespike wants you to unmute him.

Guy:...but... why should we?

Sunshine: Uh, Chris...

Chris: Uhh, just go ahead and unmute him, please, so that he can-

Guy: -Alright.

Chris: ...continue on.

Sushine: Chris, I know I emailed you before, but, uhh... -shut up, blue- uhh... I emailed you about the hentai series that I was gonna work with you-

Bluespike: (sarcastically) Oh, great.

(People tell him to shut up.)

Bluespike: I look forward to it.

Guy: I'll unmute him when she's done.

Sunshine: Ugh... yeah. I emailed you about a hentai series that I wanted to work with you-

Chris: -Oh, yeah, I remember that.

Sunshine: -story. (?)

Chris: I remember that.

Sunshine: Yeah, um, are you gonna write the story for me or anything like that?

Chris: Uh, I'll let you write up a story- you know, uh, help you with that. (?)

Sunshine: So, you'll write it after you're done?

Chris: Uh, they sayin' that you- uh, alright well also, uh, Bluespike is sayin' that if you mute him once more, the yahoo will be gone from my hands forever.

Foreign Guy: Chris, do you have to watch a lot of porn to get inspiration for hentai?

Chris: Uhh... possibly. I can't say for sure, but it's- but you know, you definitely gotta know the... anatomy, you know, between breast sizes and the, uh... pussies... and the dicks. That's, uh...

Guy: Vaginas?

Chris: Yes.

Sunshine: Well... I think we can bounce off some ideas when we work on it together... but you gotta promise, cause I already have some sketch ideas and everything I wanna show you.

Chris: That's- th- that's cool.

Bluespike: Chris, tell me...

Chris: *sighs* What is it?

Bluespike: Oh, it's not even related to anything... icky; don't worry. Tell me, if you had to write your own hentai story, why don't you just write that out right now?

Chris: Ugh... cause I'm n- cause my mind isn't exactly in complete r- able to quickly make decisions state right now, because I'm sick.

Bluespike: That's your reason for not doing anything...

Foreign Guy: *Talks over Bluespike* I have a serious question about hentai, Chris: why did you draw hentai of Mary Lee Walsh?

Bluespike: Yeah, I thought you hated her.

Foreign Guy: It distur- yeah, it disturbed me a bit as a fan.

Bluespike: (unintellgible) having feelings for (unintelligible)

Guy: Stop it, Blue.

Chris: I don't know why I did it; I just felt like messing with- um, uh- just, like, like messing with as a- as... she's- double (??? devil?) character.

Bluespike: (Talks over him near the end) Chris... that's disgusting.

Guy: I understand, Chris. I see what you did there.

Other Guy: Uhh, it's kinda like, um- kinda like a little joke or a parody; kinda like a stab.

Chris: Yeah.

Other Guy: I see. Also, check to your left- there's a comic space and (???). Couple of websites where you can, like, post webcomics and stuff.

Chris. I see... but, still, I want my Sonichu site back up in order for me to...

Sunshine: (Talks over him) I think he just wants his- (gets cut off) it's okay.

Guy: Yeah, I saw the newest video...

Sunshine: (Talks over him) I mean, he's paying for it, after all.

Guy: ...I was wondering what you're gonna do about the site.

Chris: I don't know... at least until ah- at least until I can find out ih- at least until I can get my yahoo account back.

Bluespike: Chris, tell me... when you called the, uh, playstation people, whoever they are, did you reveal anything about me? What did you reveal?

Chris: No, I only revealed my information; they must have found you as being the one that, ah, got into my account.

Bluespike: You're positive about this?

Chris: I'm positive! I'm- I'm s- I'm serious.

Sunshine: They can do that. It's not that hard.

Bluespike: I'm- hey, no, shut up- I'm just asking Chris.

Sunshine: Well, you should be smart enough to know that... cause you're stupid.

Bluespike: Stupid enough to... get a password from an autistic that he wants so bad (???)

Sunshine: Well that's just cause you're mean.

(Several people talk at once)

Chris: ...and plus, I thought it wa- and plus, I thought it was, ah... (gets talked over)... an adult woman.

Guy: Chris, you should probably be more secure and a little bit more paranoid the next time you meet a girl on the internet.

Chris: (Talks over him) Yeah... yeah... well, after I get over this virus I'm definitely gonna start going back out in public... in local areas.

Bluespike: Yes, I'm looking forward to that, Chris; I would love to see- see, now that you don't have your medallion, ladies might be more willing to talk to you.

Chris: I may not have it on me, but I kn- I know I can recreate one- and plus, I have the memories linked to my medallions in my ring.

Bluespike: Yes, but your ring won't scare trolls away.

Foreign Guy: (Talks over Bluespike) You really should grab the medallion back, Chris; it's your sign of- honesty.

Bluespike: (Talks over him) Oh god, no... no, don't try and kill the man.

(Several people talk at once)

Jack Thaddeus: You're the one trying to kill him.

Chris: ...I do plan on- I do plan on recr- I do plan on recreating the medallion; I just... (gets talked over)

Foreign Guy (?): What happened to this one?

Chris: Because I thought I was doin' it for an adult woman

Bluespike: D'oh. (?)

Guy: What happened to it?

Chris: This crack (?) here asked me to c- asked me to cut it up and shove it up my ass.

Bluespike: (Talks over him, then laughs) ...and you did.

(A strange whistle can be heard here.)

Guy: So, did you do it?

Chris: Yeah.

Other Guy: How far did it go?

Girl (possibly Sunshine): Oh my god.

(A couple more people react in disgust at the same time.)

Bluespike: How did it feel, Chris? Tell me.

Chris: It hurt.

Guy: (Talks over him) How far- how far could you shove it up there?

Bluespike: (Talks over guy) It hurt your rectum.

Guy: ...I'm sorry that I may ask.

Chris: Well, (?) I shoved it up as far as I could get it

Guy: Ah.

(Several people talk at once)

Other Guy: Stop talking about this! This is kinda... egh...

Bluespike: Uhh, no, I have another question for, uh, Chris.

Other Other Guy: Yeah, I was gonna eat dinner afterwards. Jesus.

(Several people talk at once. Someone burps or something.)

Chris: You don't have ta- you don't have ta picture it. You don't have ta picture it.

(Several people talk at once.)

Guy: It is kinda hard because I was gonna eat curry rice.

Chris: *sighs* Well, I'm sorry I r- I'm sorry r- I'm sorry I ruined your dinner.

Guy: Let's just talk about something else.

Chris: (Talks over him) It's okay; I can still recreate one, aaand I still have my high school ring.

Guy: I'm sorry, man.

(Bluespike says something about the ring but gets talked over.)

Jack Thaddeus: I should've gotten a high school ring.

Guy: Just... Chris, just- whatever you do, I mean, they've gotten a lot of things, but do not let them get your high school ring.

Chris: They're not gettin' it. (Pauses) I mean, that was a big investment itself.

Bluespike: (Talks over him) Uh, Chris... I have a question Chris.

Chris: What?

Guy: Most people usually, like, forget about their high school ring after high school and move to college rings.

Girl: (Talks over him) Gecko...

(NOTE: Could this guy be Liquid Chris, whom Kacey addresses as "Gecko" near the end of the 5-part phone call between Solid, Liquid, and Kacey???)

Bluespike: I love how you start talking when I say "Hey." Anyway, (pronounces it "ahyway" like Chris always does) Chris, you seem like the kinda person that would know about this: since it appears to be an IP ban, this will not last forever, surely... and would you happen to know if (unintelligible) account share (?)- which is exactly what happened- how long would I be banned, do you think?

Chris: I dunno. I d- I guess it's up to them. I don't know bout them. I mean, I did not even know- (he starts sounding agitated) I only gave them my account information, not yours, I swear... I sw-

Bluespike: (Talks over him) I never said- I never- just- I know, I- yes, I know-

Chris: (Resumes talking) ...yeah, but ahyway, appa- but- yeah- but ahyway, apparently, they lead ya (?) to that and they apparently banned ya off there. I mean, I dunno.

Bluespike: ...yes...

Chris: Probably be, like, a week or so, but, you know, you can call them with the 800 number I just gave you.

(Bluespike and Chris talk at the same time, someone else says something too)

Jack Thaddeus: Chris, why are you helping this monster?

Guy: You are truly a saint for doing this.

Chris: Yeah, if- hey- if only I- (gets cut off) helping him get his PSN account back, and just- make him feel- make him feel like, you know, get his life back in order... and then maybe he'll be more willing to give back my yahoo account.

Bluespike: Hey, Chris, after this experience, I will never troll again; in fact, I will fight the trolls...

Chris: Okay.

Jack Thaddeus: We will all fight the trolls.

Bluespike: after this is done.

Jack Thaddeus: You stop trolling now, you troll!

Guy: We will kick their collective asses.

Jack Thaddeus: You are a bad person, Bluespike.

Bluespike: Well, you're really saying tha-

Jack Thaddeus: (Interrupts) Didn't your mother raise you better?

(Several people talk at once)

Chris: Hey, easy, guys. Those of you- hey, hey hey hey, easy.

Bluespike: Well, I guess you don't want the PSN.

(Several people talk)

Foreign Guy: Smack him, Chris!

Sunshine: Blue, shut up!... shut up and let Chris talk.

Bluespike: ...One more word out of any of you and Chris will never have the- yahoo again.

Chris: Easy, guys. Easy.

Bluespike: C'mon! I dare you: say one word. Do it.

Chris: Hey, easy, guys; don't- let's not kick him in the teeth, or, uh, tha- or anything that physical.

Bluespike: I dare you to kick me in the teeth, Chris.

Jack Thaddeus: -but Chris, in your one video, you said that trolls get a kick in the teeth!

Bluespike: ...and you did a punch.

Chris: Yeah, well, I was talkin' about an adult troll; this guy's a thirteen- this guy's a thirteen-year-old.

Jack Thaddeus: So? That doesn't make it any better or... that doesn't mean he's exempt from punishment.

Chris: Yeah, well, still... talkin' bout legal aspects.

Guy: Well, I guess you should be giving him space (unintelligible) or something.

Bluespike: That's it.

Jack Thaddeus: Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you, Bluespike? I heard you were a homosexual.

Bluespike: (Talks over him) Well I- well I warned you... I warned you all had one more chance. Now, because of his fans, Chris will not have his yahoo.

Jack Thaddeus: No! We will stop you. I know where you live, Bluespike.

Bluespike: No you don't.

Jack Thaddeus: Yes I do.

Chris: (Interrupts) Look- look, look...

Jack Thaddeus: I'm tracking your IP.

Bluespike: I'm behind seven proxies.

Jack Thaddeus: I can see through them.

(Several people talk)

Guy: Not proxies! (?)

Jack Thaddeus: (Laughs)

Bluespike: Yes, proxies. You will never find out where I live unless you have my... (gets talked over)

Sunshine: Guys! Let Chris talk!

Jack Thaddeus: Alright, talk, Chris.

Chris: I didn't have much to say. I was just, uh... mostly, uh, I do wa- I do want and need my yahoo account back.

Jack Thaddeus: Couldn't you just cancel it?

Chris: No, I have to lo- I have to be logged in in order to do that.

Foreign Guy: (?) Couldn't you call yahoo?

Chris: I don't know, I don't- I couldn't find there- uh, last time I tried goin' to- tryin' to contact yahoo, I couldn't find a phone number on there.

Guy: Ohh... what about email?

Chris: Uh, I could try that, but that's, uh, er, that's another story, but, uh... (trails off)

Bluespike: Thank you. Anyway, Chris, I'll give you and your fans one more chance. How does that sound?

Chris: Ugh... fine. (Pauses) Nobody pick on Bluespike... and I'll tell you what: as a bonus, I'll take down that video I uploaded earlier.

Bluespike: No, keep it up as a testament to the things I've done. Please keep it up. (pauses) So, Chris, how would you feel about pulling the playstation for me, since I am not very good with talking to people on the phone.

(Chris sighs)

Bluespike: See what you can get done.

Chris: Fine, I'll do something, alright?

Bluespike: Yes, after this mumble you will get on a call with... (gets talked over)

Chris: bu- bu- bu- but I nee- but I need- but, um, Bluespike I need to u- know your real name in real life.

Bluespike: Oh, forget that, man. I'm just gonna call em myself.

Chris: I gotta tell em your real name so I can call them for you.

Bluespike: If I tell you that, you're gonna come find out where I live and- give me a cold... so forget that. (pauses) Chris, another thing: why are you telling your fans to give me a cold?

Chris: Because, I'm suffering through one that's similar to a cold.

Bluespike: Yes, but you see- Chris, my PSN ban- that's kind of the equivalent of a cold... except I'm really mad.

Chris: Alright, fine, well, nobody give Bluespike a cold either.

Bluespike: Yeah, don't give me a cold, bro... I need vaccines.

Foreign Guy: You could give him AIDS!

Bluespike: I'm gonna give you AIDS.

Jack Thaddeus: (unintelligible) ...nevermind.

Bluespike: You'd better.

Jack Thaddeus: Um, also, Chris, what was- in the video you made- what was that about Billy Mays not being mayor?

Chris: Yeah... Another thing that I thought, ah, I thought I was doing for an adult woman.

Bluespike: Chris...

Chris: (Stutters a lot) ...I verbally dubbed him... mayor.

Bluespike: Oh, a few things, Chris, if I may: um... (gets talked over)

Jack Thaddeus: Well, then we saw this picture- hold on, I wanna show Chris this picture.

Bluespike: Ah, yes, after I... say one thing.

Chris: Oh, whoah whoah, now wait, is this a picture that you, uh, got in an email?... about- (gets talked over)

Jack Thaddeus: No.

(Jack and Chris talk at the same time.)

Jack: It's something that was floating around on the forums... (trails off, saying something about Billy Mays)

Bluespike: (kind of unintelligible, but names products advertised by Billy Mays. Someone else adds a product.)

Chris: Wait, wait, wait- let me just, uh, let me just ask Bluespike: why him be mayor? Why him?

Jack Thadeus: Because he's a charismatic leader.

Bluespike: Because Billy Mays is the best person in the world. By the way, if I may really quickly... you should fight your own battles instead of getting your fans to do it for you. You're not playing overlord; (?) you can't order your minions.

(Jack talks over Bluespike saying "um, Chris" while someone else burps)

Bluespike: Are you serious?

Jack Thaddeus: Chris, since he's wearing that medallion... Chris, I have a- you see the picture? Since he's wearing the medallion, doesn't that mean he's mayor? I thought that-

Chris: -No, no, no; the medallions have nothing to do with being mayor.

Foreign Guy: But Chris, you said that-

(Some guy yells over him weirdly)

Chris: The medallions have nothing to do with being the mayor!

(Several people talk at once; a girl says "stop bullying him!")

Girl: Everybody calm down!

Chris: And also, iya look- if you look at this picture, that thing has obviously been photoshopped onto there... and I think that, uh...

Jack Thaddeus: (Talks over him) It doesn't look photoshopped.

Bluespike: And by the way um...

Chris: That i- it is photoshopped- I mean, do you see a shadow underneath the medallion? If it was r- was more matching to the setting?

Jack Thaddeus: Well, it's against his shirt!... It's against his shirt.

Bluespike: Yeah, he doesn't wear it outside his collar.

Jack Thaddeus: Yeah.

Bluespike: By the way, um...

Chris: (Talks over him) So it's doesn- so it's been obviously photoshopped.

Bluespike: Before I forget what I'm going to say... ah, yes: how can you believe what you say in that video without your true and honest medallion? Chris, tell me this, and tell me why I should believe the words you say on the youtube video on the internet. Please, do tell me.

(someone coughs)

Chris: I ha- I still have my high school ring, which has been in league with my medallion the whole time.

Bluespike: Yes, but... you could have easily stolen the ring... (gets talked over)

Foreign Guy: But you said in the (???) video that the medallion is needed!

Chris: Oh- if you all recall the preview for the- number ten comic book, the powers all (?) die and get transferred to my high school ring.

Foreign Guy: (?) But I thought that was just your power for Chris-Chan Sonichu, though.

Chris: Yeah, everything about Chris-Chan Sonichu even gets transferred to the ring.

Jack Thaddeus: (Over Chris) I thought this was like, uh...

(Several people talk at once)

Foreign Guy: Chris, this hasn't happened yet- you are not out of the time vortex in the comic yet.

Chris: I've drawn myself out of there.

Jack Thaddeus: Um, Chris, but wasn't that a, um... like, trailer or something for the real comic? I thought that, uh... so, is it canon or is it not canon?

Chris: *sigh* It's canon to real life, as well... this one.

Guy: You can turn into Sonichu??

Jack Thaddeus: Wh- yeah, you can transform in real life?? What?!

Chris: No, I can't transform in real life, but it's canon-

Jack Thaddeus: Oh.

Chis: ...it's canon to- it's canon for- it's canon for... that sorta thing. You know, I don't need my medallion; I- the powers got transferred to my ring... it's canon.

(Chris's phone rings)

Guy: So what happened to Blanca?

Chris: Scuse me. (Gets up to answer the phone.) Hello?... Yes...

(Someone makes a weird noise)

Bluespike: Who could be calling our dear Chris-Chan?

Chris: (Still on the phone) Yes.

Foreign Guy: (?) Why, yes, I would like to save money on my car insurance.

(Everyone laughs.)

Jack Thaddeus: Blanca got the medallion, that troll.

Chris: ...but, uh, tell me something I don't know.

Bluespike: (???) We all know that.

Chris: I appreciate (???)

(A long pause here)

Bluespike: I appreciate your condolences.

Chris: (???)

Bluespike: Tell me, Chris... who was on the phone?

Guy: I think he's still on the phone.

Other Guy: Shh.

Bluespike: Hey, Chris... can you hear me?

Guy: Shut up.

Sunshine: Hey, Blue... don't me an idiot.

Chris: (Gets back onto mumble, sighing) Alright.

Bluespike: So, Chris... who was on the phone?

Chris: Uhh, just a- fan, giving me his... nice... words and condolences for all the bad (?) that's been happening to me from... trolls.

Jack Thaddeus: (Talks over him) Bluespike was in here earlier, telling that- saying that he- you didn't have any real fans, and we were all trolls. We told him we're the true, honest fans, cause we are.

Chris: Yeah. Tell it like it is, brother... and sisters.

(Several people talk at once)

Guy: If the powers are in the high school ring, why have a medallion at all?

Jack Thaddeus: No! He transferred the powers from the medallion-

Guy: -I know, but-

(Several people talk at once)

Bluespike: Actually, I do know the answer to this: think Linus in, uh, Peanuts. He... feels attached to the medallion, like Linus feels to his blanket...

Foreign Guy: (Something unintelligible about the medallion)

Bluespike: ...and, it's Linus, except Linus is slightly cooler.

Guy: Huh... but, I noticed that- the ring- it could be like in Captain Planet.

(Several people talk)

Guy: Let Chris talk! I wanna hear his answer.

Chris: *sighs* I'm done, (?) but, uh, pretty much, yeah... but that is fairly much... yeah, the medallion was like a security blanket... in a sense.

Guy: And now the ring's a security blanket?

Chris: Yeah. It was attached to the medallion, as well. So, there you go. (Pauses) It was a thing- there was a characteristic of the m- of the ma- of the medallion that, ah, would se- would separate it from any thieves. It had a little thing on the back that was custom-fitted to my ring. (Pauses) I had my ring on it the whole time.

Guy: I thought the first medallion didn't have a thing for the ring.

Chris: The first one didn't, but the second one I created did.

Guy: Kay.

Chris: So it's like, you know, after the first one was- first one went, then I created the second one, added the slot with the ring, and, like, I transferred my memories from the old medallion to the new medallion, and in turn it got tra- all that got trans- all that and then some got transferred to the ring.

Guy: Oh.

Jack Thaddeus: Chris, don't you have multiple medallions, like, uh, the... Blachu one and the, uh... I mean... Blake one?

Chris: Yeah, no- yeah, no comment about those. No comment about those.

Jack Thaddeus: What do you mean, no comment? Can't you just wear those in the meantime?

Bluespike: (Talks over Jack) Chris, why don't you tell us what happened? Tell us what happened.

Chris: (unintelligible) Aaagh... (his phone rings) Same thi- same thi- (mutters) excuse me... (gets up to answer the phone)

Jack Thaddeus: Jeez.

Guy: Explain that- (???) in the comic books.

Other Guy: Shush.

Chris: Uhh, no. This is Christian Chandler, his son. (Pauses) Uhh, sorry. She's taking a nap right now. (Pauses) Speak it again. (?)

Guy: What's going on?

Jack Thaddeus: Shut up!

(A very long pause; some random noises are heard)

Jack Thaddeus: Are you there, Chris?

Sunshine: He's on the phone.

Guy: Echo, echo, echo...

Other Guy: Shut up.

(Long pause)

Chris: Yeah, it's a webcam. (Pauses) Yeah, I ha- I haven't done anything like that in a- f- for da long time. (?) (Pauses) Yeah yeah, I've been stepping away from the internet. (He pauses and/or gets cut off) ...webcam. (Long pause) ...and sometimes I'm rather low-functioning, I guess. (Pauses) You (?) don't have to do that; I'm not talking to the people.

Guy: Yeah... yeah yeah yeah.

(A strange noise can be heard; it may be part of a video)

(Long pause)

Chris: (???) sir, you shush. (?) Go ahead, father. (?)

(Trolls say stuff and tell each other to shut up)

Chris: It doesn't- (???) -it doesn't matter if I was cut off the internet or not. (Pauses, weird thumping noises) Yeah, well, I mean- yeah, I been ta- (gets cut off) Alright, well, good. I'm backing off (?) now; you can tell me more later. (?) (Pauses) I'll talk to you later, father. (Sighs) (Pauses) (Sighs again, getting back on mumble)

Sunshine: Chris, is everything okay.

Chris: Yeah, things are okay. Listen, I gotta go; I have things to do; I'll talk to y'all another time.

(Everyone goes crazy and try to figure out what's going on.)

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