Mumble 5

The fifth of the Mumble chats involving Chris.

Summary

Clyde confronts Chris as he prepares to chat with Julie, asking him about whether he can truly support a family. In this chat, we get such gems as Chris believing he can actually support a family by "tucking away a hundred dollars every month." Chris claims he will go get a job if he needs to, and he lies in saying he's actually tried to find jobs with his CADD degree rather than just sitting on his ass all day in his room. Chris also references the beginnings of the Miyamoto saga. Finally, he also explains that he villainizes those in the comics who have made him "feel inferior" in real life.

Transcript

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Julie: I'll be right back, I have to turn the television down.

Chris: OK.

Julie: I'm back. Hello Chris.

Julie: Chris, are you there? Hello?

Clyde Cash: You got my email, right? You got it, right?

Chris: Clyde, what are you doing here?

Clyde Cash: Did you get the email?

Chris: Clyde?

Clyde Cash: The email I sent.

Chris: Oh, I haven't been -- you sent me an email. I haven't been able to get into me email, lately it's kinda a bit funky.

Clyde Cash: Well you'll be able to figure it out. But before I say so, I've had a long talk with Vivian, and she's right, I've gone way too far out of line. I'm not gonna harm anyone anymore for the rest of my goddamn life.

Chris: Well that's good to hear.

Julie: [overlaps] What is Clyde doing here?

Clyde Cash: Unfortunately, she agrees that I can not let you, I can not let you meet any woman until you get your life together. His life is miserable. Look at him, Julie. A man who... tell me, what have you done today? What have you done of merit today? Go through your daily routine.

Julie: He's a good person he doesn't need to...

Chris: I made contact with Julie and expressed my love for her. A little bit more.

Clyde Cash: Something productive. What have you done with your Sonichu to whatever potential financial gain you can get from it?

Chris: For your information I have received a call from an associate of Nintendo, that's willing to bring it up to Mr. Miyamoto again. Where it'll be restarted.

Julie: That's awesome.

Clyde Cash: Tell me, how long will this take?

Chris: Hmm. Depends.

Clyde Cash: I mean...

Chris: I have to wait for them to call me back.

Clyde Cash: I mean, it could take months. I mean it's taking me months til anything starts and you gotta find yourself a way of financial security. Besides, aren't you gonna have to make a trip anyway? You've got to have to save up money somehow.

Chris: Myeah. I'm gonna save up money for a month.

Clyde Cash: How are you gonna save money? I mean $800 a month...

Chris: It will be a while sure, but I will have it saved up.

Clyde Cash: But don't you got bills to pay? After bills, how much you got left?

Chris: I don't need to tell you my financial situation?

Clyde Cash: I think Julie would like to know. Right?

Julie: Clyde, stop it.

Chris: Yeah Clyde, leave us alone.

Clyde Cash: I'm not doing anything harmful, I'm just asking how you're going to save money up for a future family. I mean if you cannot even do that... there's no way your family will be a success. She will divorce you quicker than... I dunno. I dunno.

Chris: I'm working on controlling my compulsive spending.

Clyde Cash: It's not just controlling your spending. You can do that easily. The thing is you need more than $800 a month. Way more to support a family.

Chris: Maybe so, but at least I'll have some money tucked away before I start that family up.

Clyde Cash: And how much do you have tucked away right now?

Chris: I have about 100 bucks tucked away right now.

Clyde Cash: [laughs] Chris... $100 might last you a week.

Chris: Shows what you know.

Clyde Cash: Ok. In an average week how much will you spend on food? For let's say, two adults and uh, well you're not going to have a child that fast, so two adults.

Chris: Hmm. I'm sorry could you repeat the question?

Clyde Cash: How much do you think it would cost to feed two adults, let's say you and Julie, for a week?

Chris: I'd say somewhere about... somewhere between 20 to 50.

Clyde Cash: Let's just say 30 to average that out. You got 70 bucks left that week. Let's see: you got bills to pay. And that's got to be... what kind of bills you got? TV, you got internet, Julie, what other amenities do you need?

Chris: You don't have to answer you.

Clyde Cash: My God. It's simple. You got TV, you got your car payments, car insurance, you got your internet, you got [indistinct], it's all gonna add up. $100 is not going to last a month.

Chris: I tucked a hundred aside and uh, a hundred a month and I'll have enough money saved up. Over da time.

Clyde Cash: The thing is what happens when you run out?

Chris: Then I'll save up some more?

Clyde Cash: No, that takes time. Ahh... I mean, oh my God. How much money do you think it costs to raise a family for a year?

Chris: I'll bet that might seem to run into the thousands.

Clyde Cash: And if you save $100 a month... you'd barely get $1000.

Chris: Well if I have to, I can and will get a job.

Clyde Cash: And again, I looked over your files. Why do you think you got an F that?

Chris: I did not get an F on that.

Clyde Cash: Ohh, what'd you get then?

Chris: I got... an A+. It took me weeks to months. A whole amount of thought. It's that big brand shopping mall with the mayor's office on the other floor.

Clyde Cash: But you got an F in the comics, I though that's what you got.

Chris: Well you misunderstood.

Clyde Cash: Well, how did I misunderstand? It says, "I have Grade F destruction," that definitely implies Grade F.

Chris: It was on previous projects before that one. One or two.

Clyde Cash: Then why'd you have to villainize him? I mean everyone gets failing grades, you don't have to...

Chris: Because he talked down to me, and made me feel inferior.

Clyde Cash: My God. I mean, you didn't even utilize the 3D aspect of AUTOCAD, did you?

Chris: 3D?

Clyde Cash: You know, you got your Y plane, your X plane and your Z plane. You have a X and Y plane. You never used a Z plane.

Chris: I do use the Z plane.

Clyde Cash: I didn't see that in that project.

Chris: [condescending] Well, did you have a CADD program in your computer?

Clyde Cash: Yes! I have the official one from AUTOCAD.

Chris: I see.

Clyde Cash: Did you even bother to look for a job utilizing that degree?

Chris: I have. And it's a bit... on a shortage right now.

Clyde Cash: Did you even go in for an interview?

Chris: I have gone in for interviews, yeah.

Clyde Cash: With what companies.

Chris: [long pause] I'm under so much stress, I've got a headache. It's difficult for me to think of specific names at the moment.

Clyde Cash: You're lying to me, is that what you're saying?

Chris: I am not lying to you.

Clyde Cash: Julie, listen to that. He can't even name one company he'd like to work for. Do you think a man could financially support you like that?

Julie: Uh, yes. It's possible. He can do it.

Chris: See, I can do it.

Clyde Cash: This is American dollars we're talking about, the conversion rate is so much different.

Julie: I don't care, you can do anything.

Chris: Yeah.

Clyde Cash: You're a little delusional. In America we got a bad economic spin right now. A really bad one.

Julie: I understand that.

Chris: Me too.

Clyde Cash: No you don't, Chris. You don't listen to the bad news. You said it yourself. You don't listen to the bad news.

Chris: [overlaps] I do too. I listen to it every day, when I'm trapped with him in the car, or when I'm downstairs with him.

Clyde Cash: Wait, why are you going with your father in the car? What for?

Chris: Sometimes I go out when him when he goes on trips, he goes downtown for...

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