Megan Schroeder

“	Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.	”
Christian, Story of My Current Days

Sweethearts
Megan Schroeder
Date of Birth	23 July 1986
Gender	Female
Nationality	American
Race	White
Occupation(s)	NEET

Megan Schroeder (born 23 July 1986) was a friend, maybe even what could be considered a true friend, of Christian Weston Chandler's who appeared on the scene in 2005 and cut off contact with Chris around 2008.

Prologue

Main article: Megan Emails, 2005-2006

See also: Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007

Look at the fear in her eyes...

“	During the late summer months, I picked up and started the Yu-Gi-Oh Trading Card Game (it was around the time the movie came into theaters). One Saturday at the Game Place (Where I was also going for Pokemon TCG on Fridays), I met Megan and John Schroeder. At first I thought they were a couple but then they were just Sister and Brother. Over the months of getting to know Megan, I grew fond of her. Although at that time, and up to now, she wasn't interested in a lovely relationship. I've bided to her wishes and requests. I am truly fond of her, and I hope she will have a change of heart soon. She'll be turning 21 on July 23, 2007.	”
Christian

Megan is a typical truly boyfriend-free girl; asexual even, with a few eccentricities that Chris was more than happy to copy and fulfill, namely her fondness for My Little Pony, Sailor Moon, and using Chris like a debit card because she was too lazy to go on eBay herself.

Megan and Chris first met during the summer of 2005 at The GAMe PLACe over a game of Yu-Gi-Oh!. The two apparently struck up a friendship of sorts. They had an obvious connection from the start, since they were both NEETs, idling their twenties away playing games marketed to pre-teens. It only took a few games of cards and a handful of e-mails before Chris saw Megan as his sweetheart. This was probably perpetuated by the fact that Megan used him as means to buy stuff off of eBay.

“	Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!	”
Megan, Megan E-mails

Through the end of 2005 and into 2006, Chris would hang all over Megan, writing her into his comic, trying to drag her into dates, trying to snuggle, hold her hand, kiss her, and other creepy actions. This didn't accomplish anything but rousing the ire of Megan, who wanted nothing more than her personal space away from our hero. Even more so, she only saw him as a friend, nothing more. She repeatedly tried to assert her asexuality. Sadly, this fell on deaf ears, and Chris would continue hounding Megan. When Megan attempted to get rid of Chris, saying that she had a boyfriend, it didn't deter Chris from his ultimate goal of china.

And that was only the beginning...

Megan Saga

Sailor Megtune

Main article: Sailor Megtune

Megan is a bit of an amateur cartoonist herself, and that caught Chris's fancy early in the game.

“	Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on my comics.	”
Christian, Megan E-mails

In what was a fortunate alignment of his ass-kissing campaign with the now consistent diary-keeping that Sonichu had become, Megan (later retconned as Meg-chan) quickly made her first appearance as Sailor Megtune in Sonichu #5 along with Megagi La Skunk, her own lesbian furry sidekick. The two are purportedly "Sailor Soldiers" and reveal on the spot that Chris is an old friend of theirs (Chris knew Megagi?) and thwart the evil Jerkops trying to ruin Chris' Love Quest with Rockin' Hurricane, causing Magic Rocket to blast off again. Her influence on Sonichu is apparent in Chris's sudden transition to a more animu style with Sonichu #5, most notably in his character's eyes.

File:Schu6p50a.jpg

Getting dangerously close to crossing the line...

Megan and Chris appeared to chat about comics in their e-mail conversations; Chris critiqued some of her story ideas, and ran the plotline for Sonichu #6 by her, including a bizarre offer to write in Megan's own imaginary daughter. While Megan probably found the whole thing harmlessly eccentric at first, Sonichu #5 managed to create some drama pretty quickly upon its release. Megan undoubtedly flipped when she saw her character snuggling up with Chris AND offering fan service to the audience. Chris failed at understanding her anger, but did retcon a couple pages to tone them down.

Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown

Main article: Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown

See also: Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007

“	In any case, I LOATHE Adam and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet Gal-Friend to Seattle; it would have been terriffic. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN.	”
PSN Blogs

In June 2007, Megan went to Kentucky. Undeterred, Chris continued e-mailing her, refusing to back away even for a moment as he still believed that, deep down inside, Megan truly did love him. Discovering about the Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown and the prizes that laid within, Chris eagerly entered the contest, hoping to win a PSP and the trip and use that to win her heart. In the end, as expected, Chris lost, Adam Stackhouse won, Megan didn't give a shit. Even when Chris began whining about how everyone "cheated", especially Adam, but he "didn't", she didn't care. It soon got to the point where Megan would finally blow up at Chris for his childish and selfish acts. Despite being hurt, Chris continued to harass Megan.

Rule 34 and The End of Megan

Main article: ShecameforCWC.JPG

See also: Megan Emails, 2008

...aaand we've crossed it.

In November 2007, Chris would discover his Encyclopedia Dramatica page and begin his one-man war against the garbage. To prove that he and his Sonichu characters weren't gay, he uploaded nice, straight drawings, including this one. In the process, he uploaded a number of Rule 34 artworks, one of which was a picture of him fingering a girl with her eyes obscured. Trolls originally believed that she was his imaginary sister Crystal, but Chris would eventually reveal that the image was actually meant to represent Megan.

By 12 March 2008, Megan discovered the picture and demanded that it be removed immediately. Chris attempted to do so, but found himself blocked at every turn. His edits were quickly reverted, or even worse, compounded, as he tried to upload other versions of the picture with the face cropped out or obscured.

Throughout the fiasco, Chris attempted to paint himself as a greater victim than Megan, initially even assuming that she didn't understand what was going on in the picture. He would later admit he did it in part to suppress the occasional impulse to rape her, and that trying to assert that what she was going through just BEING in the picture and learning what he could have done was nothing compared to the misery of the trolling he was enduring. In the end, Megan finally broke off all contact with Chris, broken by her experiences and traumatized by his actions.

Epilogue

“	Too bad I was never just that too all into him.	”
Cartoon Megan, "I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"

“	Megan... WHY?!	”
Christian, "I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"

Megan surfaced again in Chris's thoughts in July 2009, first in the CWC "Boyfriend" video, and then in the subsequent update, I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC.

Chris also reposted the Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown entry, though this version is slightly different from the ones frequently seen in latter days: After "...my friend Megan!", Chris inserted a short break with a photo of him and Megan, with a lovely heart frame. Either this is the original version before Chris tried to clean up his image, or a brand new version with new improved references to the long-lost love.

On 26 March 2009, he released a Captain's Log where he told everyone to "leave her alone" because she was going through stress from the trolls, and threatened to stop drawing the comic if they didn't

On 12 August 2009, he dedicated a song to Megan in one of his KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special videos, where the first sign that he'd convinced himself that she'd told him "I Love You" comes up (and he remains relatively consistent when speaking of her in acting as though this actually happened).

“	Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to the old gal-pal of mine that I almost had a ra- I had meant to be- I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, Yngwie Malmsteen.	”
Christian, "KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special"

A year later, on 10 August 2010, it was revealed that Bob and Barbara believe Megan to have actively conspired with Michael Snyder and some homosexuals to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe. Barbara also mentions something about how Megan "lied" about something, suggesting that she believes Megan to have been a troll.

It is possible that this belief originated with Chris, as in his correspondence with Katie Bay, he lists Megan as a "possible troll". His reasoning was typical Chris - she had a vagina and didn't want to have sex with him. He also appears to have confused her with another female Caucasian brunette that placed a sign on his lawn in October 2008.

In 2010, he created a model of Megan for ModNation Racers (named "Gal Pal"), showing that he still can't let go.

Chris's version of events

On 16 May 2010, the CWCipedia's new fan manager Daria Camacho created a page for Megan, using the link on Chris's page of gal-pals and sweethearts. When Chris discovered it, he erased all of Daria's text and wrote his own version. The abridged version of events he presents is much shorter than his gigantic rant on The Wallflower, probably because the events of the Megan Saga are beginning to fade from his memory.

If you REALLY MUST KNOW... Megan and I first met at a Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament at The G&H Place, back when it was still in the Downtown Mall. It was around the time the Y.G.O. Movie debuted in theaters. She and I, we talked, hung out and became really good friends. "I DID have lovey-dovey feelings for her, and I still care about her as a friend. I did her a number of favors by getting her this and that off of eBay, then she would reimburse me the cost of each item. When I started getting too close, she started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible homosexual. I drew that drawing of her and me that is unfortunately popular among everyone who tends to haze me for TWO REASONS. Firstly, because of My Own Wishful Thinking. And second a tool in a lame attempt to overcrowd the E.D. page against me with Bu**C*** with my own "information" to shut it down. Ever since, she totally spaced herself from me, like as if she had put a restraining order against, which she did not. And as I was being forced off the Place premesis the last day I was there, she stood by and watched in shock. She could have spoken up for me, but she did not. I have lost communication with Megan since then.

In the months and years after his "breakup" with Megan, Chris has eventually come to try and act as if he's gotten over her. His CWCipedia page on The Wallflower, for instance, claimed "I had LOOOOOONG moved on from Megan."

However, a lingering attachment betrays itself on occasion. The archive of his female acquaintances on the CWCipedia noted, "I still miss her sometimes." In an e-mail to Jackie from April 2010, when he recounted having his picture taken at The GAMe PLACe, Chris said, "I was in a state of shock from seeing Megan and (her short-lived romance) Christopher MAKING OUT. That Should Have Been Me."

Gallery

Art by Megan

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  Megagi La Skunk ~ The pose in this and the following few drawings is quite obviously traced from the same source.

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  Hound Howl, which Chris reused as "Canino the Houndhowl" in the Wedding Comic.

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  "Ace of Clubs" ~ Megan's original design for Patti-chan, until Chris stole the design.

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Art of Megan

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  KINDA OF A GOKU-GET-EM ATTITUDE. :)

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  THAT IS NOT CRYSTAL.

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  Another Schroeder.

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  He just can't let go...

Miscellaneous

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References

For Truth and Honesty, see the archived CWCipedia page on Megan Schroeder

Megan Saga
The Players:	The Games:	The Prizes:
Chris Megan Schroeder John Schroeder Sailor Megtune Megagi La Skunk Christopher	Megan Emails, 2005-2006 Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007 Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007 Megan Emails, 2008	eBay loot ShecameforCWC.JPG John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue Megan Shrine
Coinciding Sagas: Stackhouse, GAMePLACe, ED

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