Kacey Call 8

2 September 2009

• Chris found out that he can earn up to $980 a month at a job while still receiving welfare.
• Chris says he'll apply at Wal-Mart to be a greeter or mop floors, claims he can take directions "up to a certain level of forcefulness".
• Chris just rented a Hanna Montanna movie, Kacey asks if he's worried about renting that at age 27.
• Chris defends his movie choices, says he has the "mind of a younger age" and eventually he can pass that shit to his children.
• Chris enjoys adult comedies like Seinfeld, Family Guy and Friends.
• Chris thinks he can identify with George Costanza.
• Kacey jokes that Chris is like "the George Costanza of Sonichu" and he gets VERY offended, saying that's a worse image than the retarded Sonichu fanart.
• Chris watched an episode of House that featured an autistic child.
• Chris favorited some hentai on YouTube (as "Christopher"), lies that he doesn't remember doing that.
• Chris clearly regrets ever coming up with this multiple personality horseshit now that he has to explain it.
• Now he claims he never had multiple personalities, he was just possessed by the ghost one of the trolls who died.
• Chris was either possessed by the ghost of Max Milvania or Clyde Cash.
• Chris totally "willed away" his other personality since yesterday.
• Chris tries to change the subject because he knows how fucking stupid he sounds and he wants to pretend this never happened.
• Chris told his mom about buying a sports bra (but not his dad), he felt like his mom should know.
• Chris drinks chocolate-flavored soy milk.
• Chris was taking vitamins for a while, but he stopped because he "didn't feel like taking them".
• Chris and Kacey spend a long time talking about healthy food that Chris will never eat.
• Chris gets "thousands" of troll calls, making it hard for Kim and Kacey to call him.
• Chris doesn't know the password on his own phone.
• Chris thinks Kacey and Kim should get new phones so they can call him without any problems.
• Kacey is mad because Chris told some other girl that he is turning Kacey into his Sweetheart From the Ground-Up.
• Kacey says they're only friends and they'll only ever be friends. Chris is disappointed.
• Chris: "It's called wishful thinking".

Transcript

(at roughly 21:45)
Chris: Hello?
Kacey: Hi! It's Kacey!
Chris: Hey Kace, how are you?
Kacey: I’m ok, just a little tire. How are you?
Chris: Ahh, I’m ok. Yeah, I got some good news though, in case Kac-Kim hasn’t told you. My fath- my fam- my father and me went down to the social security office. Apparently, I can earn 980 dollars in a month at a job and it would not affect my social security.
Kacey: That’s good. Is that just for the trial period?
Chris: It’s you know… in general.
Kacey: So…that’s forever?
Chris: Prob- Likely so.
Kacey: Oh! Well that’s great news. See? Now go get a job. You can do it. That’s awesome. I’m glad you found that out.
Chris: Yeah… even though I pretty much have taken care of Walmart over the internet. I’m going to personally go to Target tomorrow, as well as McDonald’s, maybe Toys R Us, or maybe a place in the mall, a couple- I’m not sure a-about those other places. Yeah, I’ll definitely be going out to turn out applications tomorrow.
Kacey: That’s good. That’s good. Um…I’m happy about that. Like what did you want to do? Like maybe, just be a door greeter or something?
Chris: If I could, I’d like to be either a stock shelfer- a shelf stocker or a cashier. Or ev- or even.
Kacey: (Interrupts) Oh yeah, if you stock shelves, you can work on those muscles.
Chris: Yeah, or even be, you know, just be- mopping the- just janitorial work. I’d be- I wouldn’t mind doing that.
Kacey: Oh yeah, that’s good. I mean, th-that’s a good humble position. I hope you get it. Umm.. just remember you’re going to have to listen to authority if you do that (chuckles).
Chris: Yeah, it’s ok. I can- I can take direction as long as it’s, you know, (pause and sigh), as it’s at a certain level of forcefulness. Umm... as long as it doesn’t give the impression of major threat, something like that. But yeah, I can follow direction easily enough.
Kacey: Oh yeah, that’s good. Well definitely good luck on that and keep me posted.
Chris: Alright, I will. Hmm, so yah have some- a class or two today?
Kacey: Of course I did. Yeah, I have classes Monday thru Friday
Chris: Yeah, that’s right. Yeah you do. And then you go to work right? Yup
Kacey: Yep. Well today I didn’t go to work. I did some laundry and some house-work.
Chris: That’s good. (pause) That’s good to have some time to yourself. Um (Kacey: Yes) anyway, did some laundry, did some house-work… Um... didn’t you say you were living with a room-mate?
Kacey:Ah, yes I do have room-mates. I decided dorm-life wasn’t for me.
Chris: Oh, dorm-life? So you’re not living in a dorm?
Kacey: Nope.
Chris: Oh, um… Is this like… you’re living in your own house?
Kacey: Um, we’re renting. It’s just an apartment. It’s pretty small.
Chris: Oh. You moved, so you’re in an apartment now.
Kacey: Ah, yeah. You know, cuz it’s the start of the semester.
Chris: I’m sorry, what was that?
Kacey: Cuz I moved, at the start of the semester.
Chris: Oh you moved- oh ok. Yeah, I remember we talked earlier about you-you’re living with your room-mate and uh-b-borrowing your room-mates PS3 and whatever
Kacey: Right.
Chris: Like that rules out that messa- communication to your room-mate’s PS3 if you don’t have a room-mate right now (chuckles like he’s made a joke). Well at least you still have your Wii. (Kacey: Yes) You know, we can talk through that.
Kacey: Yes
Chris: You know, Yeah have you updated with the recent updates? It’s an update-
Kacey:(interrupts) No, actually I haven’t. It’s still glowing blue. I’m uh, I’m you know, I just haven’t really touch it lately, I’ve been busy.
Chris: Yeah you know, one of the updates I’ve noticed on my Wii, I-I keep it and my Play Station 3 up to date. Y-You know in addition to the t-text messages, you can also send 10 second voice messages.
Kacey: Oh, that’s cool.
Chris: Y-yeah, you have to have the Wii speak for that. You know, it comes with Animal Crossing, by the way, I have that.
Kacey: Oh, well I don’t. I mean, I got the game, but I didn’t get like the pack with the Wii Speak.
Chris: Yeah, You’d need the Wii Speak for ah… for the 10 second recording. [pause] Anyway, um, let me see… what else, what else. OH yeah, I, ah return Labyrinth today, but I- guess I- guess what I rented for a dollar? It ca-came into the fam-It came into the dollar section last time, I noticed, when I rented Labyrinth.
Kacey: Ah, my other favorite movie, Dark Crystal?
Chris: [Pause] Dark Crys- Ah no. I don’t think you mentioned Dark Crystal. If you did I might have forgotten it… Anyway, no not Dark Crystal, I rented Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus Best of Both Worlds Concert.
Kacey: Oh, cool. Hannah Montana. But yeah, you must have forgotten about Dark Crystal.
Chris: Hmm. Yeah.
Kacey: A-Aren’t you worried about being 27 and renting a Hannah Montana Movie though?
Chris: Hmm, not too much. [Stutters] I-It’ll-It- not too much.
Kacey: I mean, she is underage.
Chris: Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, I don’t have THOSE thoughts about her, I do not. I’m serious.
Kacey: Yeah, but still. I’m just saying. You know, like me, I’m a girl, but don’t you worry about what people think when the see a 27 year old man coming up with Hannah Montana?
Chris: I liked her music, so it’s like, I, you know, want to hear a little bit more of it. Of what I’ve heard, which isn’t very much.
Kacey:[At a loss for words] Ah, ok well. A-as long as your comfortable with it. You know it’s just, some people would think it’s kind of gay.
Chris: Well… [Pause] Yeah, it’s like you know… I think I’ve told you before how… It’s like I have a mind set of a younger age a-at most of the time, even though I have the body of a 20-adult. So it’s like, you know, I like to enjoy the a current young type things you know, my children will be enjoying themselves.
Kacey:[Long pause] Well I mean, yeah, it’s good to have nostalgia and everything. Like sometimes, I’ll watch old things like Jim(?) or Care Bears or something. But you still have to grow up. I mean, y-you know, it can’t rule your life.
Chris: Yeah, like, I should be watching more House or The Office.
Kacey:I-If those are things you enjoy. You don’t have to do everything just because I do it.
Chris: Yeah. I-I do enjoy Seinfeld and Family Guy and… I enjoy those adult comedies.
Kacey: That’s good.
Chris: [Long pause] You know, I can-can’t just quote Seinfeld off the top of my head, it would have to just randomly come to me from memory. [Giggles] You know what? George always struck me as funny you know, he’s like the quirky guy that’s just, you know, being himself but yet nobody really likes him that much.
Kacey: So do you identify with him?
Chris: Uh yes, in like, you know, yeah, r-related to me, like similar life style and yeah fairly much so yeah I’ll-
Kacey:Interrupts] So, So you’re like the George Costanza of Sonichu I guess.
Chris: [Offended] No. I had not even thought of that and the thought of that just, just does not register with me.
Kacey: But you just said you identify with him.
Chris: [Huffs and sighs] George Costanza of Sonichu. That’s a worse image to imagine than those, t-the retarded open mouthed [adds ‘retarded’ voice] “Hey look at me. I’m some kind of retarded idiot” [returns to normal voice] Sonichu fan drawing somebody, I recall somebody else doing-
Kacey:[Interrupts] What?! Ar-Ar I-It was just a joke. Are you trying to make fun of me? (Chris: No) I mean, that’s insulting.
Chris: No. I’m not making fun of you.
Kacey: And I mean, you can’t make fun of people like that. We’ve been through this before. What are you doing?
Chris: No, no. I was just saying the image…of a George Costanza Sonichu, it just does not appeal to me.
Kacey: Yeah, yeah. But don’t call people retarded like that. That was uncalled for. I don’t even know where that came from.
Chris: [Stress sigh] If you noticed on the ED page, there is a whole bunch of questionable fanart…where it’s mostly-
Kacey:[Interrupts] Chris! I thought-I thought you didn’t like the ED page. Why do you keep telling me to go to it? I mean if all the stuff, in your life...
Chris: [Tries to cut in but Kacey talks over him]
Kacey: No, just stop. Stop! You talk about it all the time, you need to let it go.
Chris: Yeah, I do hate it. I’m just saying, like you know, I have seen it before. I have seen it-
Kacey:[Cuts in] Yeah, but like every other phone call you keep talking about it. “Kacey go look at it. Kacey go look at it.” I thought you didn’t want me to.
Chris: Yeah. I do not want you to look at it. I-I don’t have to talk about it. B-But I’m just saying…don’t… They just made me look stupid. Th-Those artists are just drawing those to make me look stupid
Kacey: Whichever.
Chris: Yeah. Anyway, umm… We can talk about more pleasant things ah…. Yeah. I got- umm…My tugboat came in early-um came in earlier... ah so I invested a dollar nine, I invested a little bit of it and downloaded that to a House I told you about.
Kacey: Ok
Chris: Season 3 episode 4 Lines in the Sand.
Kacey: Right
Chris: Yeah, it’s the one with the autistic child. I told you about that.
Kacey: Yeah, yeah you did. Th-There’s a lot better episodes though.
Chris: [Sounds dejected] Hm... Though still I mean-
Kacey: [Talks over] But House is pretty good all the way around.
Chris: Ok, yeah, yeah. That’s good that you enjoy House. Yeah. I can enjoy- I can enjoy it more…I mean yeah, I can get into that you know-
Kacey:[Interrupts] Well um, I see that you’ve um... favorited some new videos. Um... there’s one Anime that I actually really like. Um, so, I mean-
Chris: Parappa the Rapper
Kacey: Nooo, the Welcome to the NHK.
Chris: [Pause] Wait. Umm...
Kacey: You don’t know what videos you favorited?
Chris: [Pause] Hm, I put, a like you know, so like umm…. Wait, ok. Was this a recent add to my favorite list? The ah, Welcome to the N-
Kacey: Yes!
Chris: I don’t even remember. I do not even remember that one. I hope nobody is hacking into my pla-my youtube again.
Kacey: Bu-But you left-
Chris: I’ll have to take a look at that.
Kacey: But you left a comment…I mean it’s…
Chris: [Long pause] I do not remember that. [Small pause] Oh my god, I hope nobody’s got into my Youtube again… I’ll have to take a look at that when we finish up here.
Kacey: No, no, I’m pretty sure everything’s ok. I mean, you left some weird comment saying that it had something to do with Christopher or something. I mean, d-do you do things that you don’t remember?
Chris: If I, If I did, If [Stress Sigh] I don’t know.
Kacey: I’m going to take that as a Yes.
Chris: Well, I don’t know. I mean, if I did…and I wasn’t suppose to, and if I didn’t know it after the fact I did it.. it would definitely be like, you know, I don’t know. And-
Kacey: [Interrupts] But, uh, I guess- I guess does Christopher know?
Chris: No, I willed him away Monday night. I have not heard from him since. I mean- I mean you were right, it was just a possession. I was being possessed… probably by a trolling site- probably by a ghost of one of the past trolls that died.
Kacey: [Astonished] W-What?! What do you think it is??
Chris: A-A What you told me, you know, p- I was being possessed otherwise I, otherwise yeah. I mean, I was aware, I was aware what was going on with that other guy so, yeah. It definitively was not a split personality. I mean-
Kacey: [Talks over Chris] Well I mean, there’s a comment that, that read “I want out Christian.” So you think it’s the ghost of a troll that died? Which troll?
Chris: I don’t know. There’s like a number, there’s like a number of them. Like I don’t… I can name two off the top of my head. Max Milvania, who posed as Julie during that Julie fiasco and then there’s Clyde Cash.
Kacey: W-Well I mean, from what you told me… I thought Max was alive, I thought Clyde was the only one who was dead. You think it’s Clyde!
Chris: I do-I don’t know everything. I don’t know. I’m just speaking theories right now. I don’t know for sure.
Kacey: W-What happens if he’s still in you? Oh my gosh!
Chris: [Stress sigh] A-Anyway… hm
Kacey: NO! This is scary. Oh my gosh!
Chris: [Dramatic sigh] It is scary. But anyway I-I-I wil- I willed that second guy out of my head Monday night and I have not heard from him since.
Kacey: But I thought you talked about him the other day…I mean, are you sure? I mean, if it’s really that strong of a possession it could be tricking you. Maybe that’s why you’re going blank. I mean, you talked about this yesterday. So, you couldn’t have sworn it off on Monday.
Chris: [Long pause] No, I willed it away W-I-L-L.
Kacey: Ok, you couldn’t have willed it away though cuz you were mentioning this yesterday. Ok. Well, let’s just hope that it is gone.
Chris: [Starts stuttering] No, no, no, no, yeah we- I mean we weren’t – I mean yeah, we were talking about it yesterday. But it’s like, you know, I wasn’t sure I had willed it away completely. I wanted to make sure, like you know, by waiting, you know, a couple of days to a week before I fin- before I make a final statement around my theory of having willed it away- having will-willing that guy away was true or not.
Kacey: Um, ok. I-I’m not quite sure that makes sense, but ok.
Chris: It’s like you know, You want to make sure-
Kacey: Maybe you should still see that doctor, you know?
Chris: Yeah. I’m gonna, Yeah, I’m gonna, Yeah, I’m gonna
Kacey: Have you made an appointment? Or have you seen someone?
Chris: Yeah, I made an appointment with Doctor McGovern. And ah, yeah I’m- yeah yeah. I’m going to talk to him and I’ll
Kacey: You’re going to see him soon?
Chris: Yes, and I’m also going to ask him about the a, about the gym membership discount.
Kacey: Oh that’s good, that’s good. I hope you can get one.
Chris: Yeah, that, that would be good. By the way, I’ve mentioned to my mother, but not my father, about my shop, my shopping for sports bra.
Kacey: Yeah, I-I don’t think that, I’m not sure your dad would be comfortable about that.
Chris: Yeah but, my mom, my mom was more understanding about that topic.
Kacey: Oh? So your mom agreed?
Chris: Yeah. [Pause] She did.
Kacey: I mean, you are older, so you don’t have to tell them anything, you don’t have to tell them everything Chris. Especially with adult decisions like that. You can’t go running around-
Chris: [Tries to talk over Kacey] Yeah bu, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I m-I mean
Kacey: But, I’m glad she agreed with you.
Chris: You know, I feel- I feel like my mom should know since, you know. I’m going to start exercising-I’m going to start going out and start jogging. But then I had- I told her before about my man-boobs and my concern about them. So then there’s like, you know, I wanted to let her know that, you know, I do notice that when I move about quickly I do shake about a lot so that bothers me. So I’m in the market for a sports bra a-and she agreed with me on that.
Kacey: Okay. Well as long as sh-she agreed.
Chris: Yeah. [Long Pause] Hmm... but yeah, shopping for vegetables. Yeah, I can definitely go to the grocery store and get more ah, get more fresh, more fresh produce instead of going out to a fast food restaurant, even though it might be a little bit more pricey.
Kacey:Right, right. But eating healthy is like that. Um, so what kind of vegetables are you going to get?
Chris: You know, definitely fresher salad. You said Romaine, Roman, Romaine (Kacey:Romaine Lettuce? Yeah.) Contains more than regular lettuce.
Kacey: Right, like regular lettuce is mainly just roughage and water. Like, the best thing is Mixed Field Greens.
Chris: Yeah, Mixed Field Greens. Yeah you did mention that. Mixed Field Greens, I remember. Yeah, Mixed Field Greens or yeah salad with Romaine Lettuce. O-Ok. How about tomatoes?
Kacey: Well, I mean, of course tomatoes are good.
Chris: Yeah, crushed tomatoes. How about-
Kacey: Well, well I mean, just stay, just stay away from things in cans. Like, it’s ok every so often, but, um you know, there’s a lot of sodium in there. And even if you get the lower sodium kinds it’s still not as good and it doesn’t have as many nutrients.
Chris: Well, o-ok, well st- but I’m talking about like, if I go to the grocery store and they have a little mini-salad bar where I can make my own salad. I could find- and they have like the Romaine Lettuce and then I’m just- you know individual vegetables that I could put into my salad.
Kacey: Well, I mean, remember, just salads aren’t all you can do. You know, um...you know you could, you know, get certain types of vegetables you could cook with.
Chris: [Pause] Yeah.
Kacey: I mean raw is good. I mean, have you ever thought of trying tofu?
Chris: I’ve heard of tofu, and I’m not really sure about it.
Kacey: Oh, I love tofu. I add tofu to salads. I add it to everything.
Chris: You add tofu to your salads.
Kacey: Yeah, and you should, ah, try soy milk.
Chris: Oh yeah, m-m-my mom and I, we drink, ahhhh, we drink soy milk.
Kacey: OH, you already drink soy milk.
Chris: Yeah, Silk. Th-That brand of soy mil-brand of soy milk, Silk. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.
Kacey: Oh, ok.
Chris: Yeah, but my mom generally likes to get the chocolate flavored soy milk, Silk.
Kacey:So, do you drink it a lot?
Chris: Yeah, I drink it sometimes. Yeah, I could drink it more.
Kacey:You should… Um ok, you should try to get the regular white one. You shouldn’t always get chocolate all the time.
Chris: Yeah, ok. I’ll kee- I will keep that in mind.
Kacey: Yes.
Chris: Ok. [Pause and Chris starts to mumble and talk under his breath] Hmm.. so always eat tofu and you.. You mentioned soy milk ah yeah, let’s continue on from there. What’s your next suggestion?
Kacey: Ummm. Ok, well you should eat a lot of, let’s see here… um definitely a lot of dark leafy vegetables, like kale and collards and stuff, in moderation of course. Because those have fiber and a lot of vitamins you need.
Chris: Hmm.. Kale and Collard?
Kacey:Collards, yeah. And mustard greens, turnip greens…
Chris: Oh. I like turnip greens. I’ve never heard of mustard greens though.
Kacey: Th-They all pretty much taste the same.
Chris: Hm. Well, I used to confuse turnip greens with spinach.
Kacey: Really? Totally different taste.
Chris: Yeah, different taste but I used to you know, because the got- th-they both just have that dark shade of green
Kacey: Right.
Chris: Umm.
Kacey: But, I mean, remember Chris, I’m not a doctor or a nurse yet, I mean... you can Google these things and they’ll give you a lot of information on vegetables and stuff. J-Just remember, only eating vegetables is bad too. You need to have balance and everything.
Chris: Yeah, I understand that balance. Yes, yeah so I’ll eat some fruits as well so yeah. Let’s talk about fruits. Um. I-I think you can agree, with like apples, bananas, oranges, lemons for lemonade.
Kacey: Oh yeah, th-that… Definitely, definitely citrus fruits are good. Ah, you should try to eat grapefruit every morning.
Chris: Hmm. Ok, yeah, grapefruit. Um, ok, I’ll, well. How about, let’s see, strawberries…?
Kacey: Yeah, berries are good too. You should eat a lot of blueberries.
Chris: Ah, more blueberries than strawberries?
Kacey: Yeah, if you... You should eat a lot of blueberries.
Chris: Ok. You know- you know they put ah blueberries and strawberries in McDonald’s, in they a parfait. I’m just saying.
Kacey: Well I mean, um, you could also get those types of juices, like the natural ones. I mean they’re pretty expensive but their worth it. Like the berry goodness one’s really good and so is the green one. It’s got like kiwi… It’s got fruits and vegetables in it.

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