Kacey Call 8

2 September 2009

• Chris found out that he can earn up to $980 a month at a job while still receiving welfare.
• Chris says he'll apply at Wal-Mart to be a greeter or mop floors, claims he can take directions "up to a certain level of forcefulness".
• Chris just rented a Hanna Montanna movie, Kacey asks if he's worried about renting that at age 27.
• Chris defends his movie choices, says he has the "mind of a younger age" and eventually he can pass that shit to his children.
• Chris enjoys adult comedies like Seinfeld, Family Guy and Friends.
• Chris thinks he can identify with George Costanza.
• Kacey jokes that Chris is like "the George Costanza of Sonichu" and he gets VERY offended, saying that's a worse image than the retarded Sonichu fanart.
• Chris watched an episode of House that featured an autistic child.
• Chris favorited some hentai on YouTube (as "Christopher"), lies that he doesn't remember doing that.
• Chris clearly regrets ever coming up with this multiple personality horseshit now that he has to explain it.
• Now he claims he never had multiple personalities, he was just possessed by the ghost one of the trolls who died.
• Chris was either possessed by the ghost of Max Milvania or Clyde Cash.
• Chris totally "willed away" his other personality since yesterday.
• Chris tries to change the subject because he knows how fucking stupid he sounds and he wants to pretend this never happened.
• Chris told his mom about buying a sports bra (but not his dad), he felt like his mom should know.
• Chris drinks chocolate-flavored soy milk.
• Chris was taking vitamins for a while, but he stopped because he "didn't feel like taking them".
• Chris and Kacey spend a long time talking about healthy food that Chris will never eat.
• Chris gets "thousands" of troll calls, making it hard for Kim and Kacey to call him.
• Chris doesn't know the password on his own phone.
• Chris thinks Kacey and Kim should get new phones so they can call him without any problems.
• Kacey is mad because Chris told some other girl that he is turning Kacey into his Sweetheart From the Ground-Up.
• Kacey says they're only friends and they'll only ever be friends. Chris is disappointed.
• Chris: "It's called wishful thinking".

Transcript

(at roughly 11:08)
Chris: Hello?
Kacey: Hi! It's Kacey!
Chris: Hey Kace, how are you?
Kacey:I’m ok, just a little tire. How are you?
Chris: Ahh, I’m ok. Yeah, I got some good news though, in case Kac-Kim hasn’t told you. My fath- my fam- my father and me went down to the social security office. Apparently, I can earn 980 dollars in a month at a job and it would not affect my social security.
Kacey:That’s good. Is that just for the trial period?
Chris: It’s you know… in general.
Kacey:So…that’s forever?
Chris: Prob- Likely so.
Kacey:Oh! Well that’s great news. See? Now go get a job. You can do it. That’s awesome. I’m glad you found that out.
Chris: Yeah… even though I pretty much have taken care of Walmart over the internet. I’m going to personally go to Target tomorrow, as well as McDonald’s, maybe Toys R Us, or maybe a place in the mall, a couple- I’m not sure a-about those other places. Yeah, I’ll definitely be going out to turn out applications tomorrow.
Kacey:That’s good. That’s good. Um…I’m happy about that. Like what did you want to do? Like maybe, just be a door greeter or something?
Chris: If I could, I’d like to be either a stock shelfer- a shelf stocker or a cashier. Or ev- or even.
Kacey:(Interrupts) Oh yeah, if you stock shelves, you can work on those muscles.
Chris: Yeah, or even be, you know, just be- mopping the- just janitorial work. I’d be- I wouldn’t mind doing that.
Kacey:Oh yeah, that’s good. I mean, th-that’s a good humble position. I hope you get it. Umm.. just remember you’re going to have to listen to authority if you do that (chuckles).
Chris: Yeah, it’s ok. I can- I can take direction as long as it’s, you know, (pause and sigh), as it’s at a certain level of forcefulness. Umm... as long as it doesn’t give the impression of major threat, something like that. But yeah, I can follow direction easily enough.
Kacey:Oh yeah, that’s good. Well definitely good luck on that and keep me posted.
Chris: Alright, I will. Hmm, so yah have some- a class or two today?
Kacey:Of course I did. Yeah, I have classes Monday thru Friday
Chris: Yeah, that’s right. Yeah you do. And then you go to work right? Yup
Kacey:Yep. Well today I didn’t go to work. I did some laundry and some house-work.
Chris: That’s good. (pause) That’s good to have some time to yourself. Um (Kacey: Yes) anyway, did some laundry, did some house-work… Um... didn’t you say you were living with a room-mate?
Kacey:Ah, yes I do have room-mates. I decided dorm-life wasn’t for me.
Chris: Oh, dorm-life? So you’re not living in a dorm?
Kacey:Nope.
Chris: Oh, um… Is this like… you’re living in your own house?
Kacey:Um, we’re renting. It’s just an apartment. It’s pretty small.
Chris: Oh. You moved, so you’re in an apartment now.
Kacey:Ah, yeah. You know, cuz it’s the start of the semester.
Chris: I’m sorry, what was that?
Kacey:Cuz I moved, at the start of the semester.
Chris: Oh you moved- oh ok. Yeah, I remember we talked earlier about you-you’re living with your room-mate and uh-b-borrowing your room-mates PS3 and whatever
Kacey:Right.
Chris: Like that rules out that messa- communication to your room-mate’s PS3 if you don’t have a room-mate right now (chuckles like he’s made a joke). Well at least you still have your Wii. (Kacey: Yes) You know, we can talk through that.
Kacey:Yes
Chris: You know, Yeah have you updated with the recent updates? It’s an update-
Kacey:(interrupts) No, actually I haven’t. It’s still glowing blue. I’m uh, I’m you know, I just haven’t really touch it lately, I’ve been busy.
Chris: Yeah you know, one of the updates I’ve noticed on my Wii, I-I keep it and my Play Station 3 up to date. Y-You know in addition to the t-text messages, you can also send 10 second voice messages.
Kacey:Oh, that’s cool.
Chris: Y-yeah, you have to have the Wii speak for that. You know, it comes with Animal Crossing, by the way, I have that.
Kacey:Oh, well I don’t. I mean, I got the game, but I didn’t get like the pack with the Wii Speak.
Chris: Yeah, You’d need the Wii Speak for ah… for the 10 second recording. (pause) Anyway, um, let me see… what else, what else. OH yeah, I, ah return Labyrinth today, but I- guess I- guess what I rented for a dollar? It ca-came into the fam-It came into the dollar section last time, I noticed, when I rented Labyrinth.
Kacey:Ah, my other favorite movie, Dark Crystal?
Chris: [Pause] Dark Crys- Ah no. I don’t think you mentioned Dark Crystal. If you did I might have forgotten it… Anyway, no not Dark Crystal, I rented Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus Best of Both Worlds Concert.
Kacey:Oh, cool. Hannah Montana. But yeah, you must have forgotten about Dark Crystal.
Chris: Hmm. Yeah.
Kacey:A-Aren’t you worried about being 27 and renting a Hannah Montana Movie though?
Chris: Hmm, not too much. [Stutters] I-It’ll-It- not too much.
Kacey:I mean, she is underage.
Chris: Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, I don’t have THOSE thoughts about her, I do not. I’m serious.
Kacey:Yeah, but still. I’m just saying. You know, like me, I’m a girl, but don’t you worry about what people think when the see a 27 year old man coming up with Hannah Montana?
Chris: I liked her music, so it’s like, I, you know, want to hear a little bit more of it. Of what I’ve heard, which isn’t very much.
Kacey:[At a loss for words] Ah, ok well. A-as long as your comfortable with it. You know it’s just, some people would think it’s kind of gay.
Chris: Well… [Pause] Yeah, it’s like you know… I think I’ve told you before how… It’s like I have a mind set of a younger age a-at most of the time, even though I have the body of a 20-adult. So it’s like, you know, I like to enjoy the a current young type things you know, my children will be enjoying themselves.
Kacey:[Long pause] Well I mean, yeah, it’s good to have nostalgia and everything. Like sometimes, I’ll watch old things like Jim(?) or Care Bears or something. But you still have to grow up. I mean, y-you know, it can’t rule your life.
Chris: Yeah, like, I should be watching more House or The Office.
Kacey:I-If those are things you enjoy. You don’t have to do everything just because I do it.
Chris: Yeah. I-I do enjoy Seinfeld and Family Guy and… I enjoy those adult comedies.
Kacey:That’s good.
Chris: [Long pause] You know, I can-can’t just quote Seinfeld off the top of my head, it would have to just randomly come to me from memory. [Giggles] You know what? George always struck me as funny you know, he’s like the quirky guy that’s just, you know, being himself but yet nobody really likes him that much.
Kacey:So do you identify with him?
Chris: Uh yes, in like, you know, yeah, r-related to me, like similar life style and yeah fairly much so yeah I’ll-
Kacey:Interrupts] So, So you’re like the George Costanza of Sonichu I guess.
Chris: [Offended] No. I had not even thought of that and the thought of that just, just does not register with me.
Kacey:But you just said you identify with him.
Chris: [Huffs and sighs] George Costanza of Sonichu. That’s a worse image to imagine than those, t-the retarded open mouthed [adds ‘retarded’ voice] “Hey look at me. I’m some kind of retarded idiot” [returns to normal voice] Sonichu fan drawing somebody, I recall somebody else doing-
Kacey:[Interrupts] What?! Ar-Ar I-It was just a joke. Are you trying to make fun of me? (Chris: No) I mean, that’s insulting.
Chris: No. I’m not making fun of you.
Kacey:And I mean, you can’t make fun of people like that. We’ve been through this before. What are you doing?
Chris: No, no. I was just saying the image…of a George Costanza Sonichu, it just does not appeal to me.
Kacey:Yeah, yeah. But don’t call people retarded like that. That was uncalled for. I don’t even know where that came from.
Chris: [Stress sigh] If you noticed on the ED page, there is a whole bunch of questionable fanart…where it’s mostly-
Kacey:[Interrupts] Chris! I thought-I thought you didn’t like the ED page. Why do you keep telling me to go to it? I mean if all the stuff, in your life...
Chris: [Tries to cut in but Kacey talks over him]
Kacey:No, just stop. Stop! You talk about it all the time, you need to let it go.
Chris: Yeah, I do hate it. I’m just saying, like you know, I have seen it before. I have seen it-
Kacey:[Cuts in] Yeah, but like every other phone call you keep talking about it. “Kacey go look at it. Kacey go look at it.” I thought you didn’t want me to.
Chris: Yeah. I do not want you to look at it. I-I don’t have to talk about it. B-But I’m just saying…don’t… They just made me look stupid. Th-Those artists are just drawing those to make me look stupid
Kacey:Whichever.
Chris: Yeah. Anyway, umm… We can talk about more pleasant things ah…. Yeah. I got- umm…My tugboat came in early-um came in earlier.. ah so I invested a dollar nine, I invested a little bit of it and downloaded that to a House I told you about.
Kacey: Ok
Chris: Season 3 episode 4 Lines in the Sand.
Kacey:Right
Chris: Yeah, it’s the one with the autistic child. I told you about that.
Kacey:Yeah, yeah you did. Th-There’s a lot better episodes though.
Chris: [Sounds dejected] Hm... Though still I mean-
Kacey:[Talks over] But House is pretty good all the way around.
Chris: Ok, yeah, yeah. That’s good that you enjoy House. Yeah. I can enjoy- I can enjoy it more…I mean yeah, I can get into that you know-
Kacey:[Interrupts] Well um, I see that you’ve um.. favorited some new videos. Um.. there’s one Anime that I actually really like. Um, so, I mean-
Chris: Parappa the Rapper
Kacey:Nooo, the Welcome to the NHK.
Chris: [Pause] Wait. Umm..
Kacey:You don’t know what videos you favorited?
Chris: [Pause] Hm, I put, a like you know, so like umm…. Wait, ok. Was this a recent add to my favorite list? The ah, Welcome to the N-
Kacey:Yes!
Chris: I don’t even remember. I do not even remember that one. I hope nobody is hacking into my pla-my youtube again.
Kacey:Bu-But you left-
Chris: I’ll have to take a look at that.
Kacey:But you left a comment…I mean it’s…
Chris: [Long pause] I do not remember that.

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External links

• mp3 of phonecall

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