Kacey Call 10

4 September 2009

• Chris mowed the back yard today. His mom mowed the front yard.
• Chris says he jogged around the neighborhood.
• Chris "forgot" to buy Bob a birthday present. Vivian Gee didn't forget, she sent him a nice gift basket.
• Chris still hates Vivian for making the Audiobooks and making a mockery and slander out of him. Kacey likes the Audiobooks.
• Chris didn't read Vivian's book "and he did not care to"; he gave it to his pastor who told Chris it's a mockery of him.
• Chris bought some sports bras, he likes them and now wears them all the time.
• Chris was confused by bra sizes, so he had to ask a girl to measure him.
• Chris now understands how women feel because he has to wear a bra too.
• Chris talks about chromosomes, and implies that he's part-woman or something stupid.
• Chris shaved his belly before taking the sports bra photos.
• Chris claims he had manboobs since he was 8 years old.
• Chris has no goals or ambitions, but he once wanted to be a cowboy.
• Chris dreamt that he had a daughter with him at his office job; in the dream he called her Crystal. Clearly this was God showing him the future.
• Chris would like to get married before he turns 30.
• Chris currently has $10 in his savings, but he's "letting it grow". He also just bought a bunch of video games.
• Chris doesn't want to sell any of his video games, he wants to hold on to them for his children to enjoy.
• Chris admits he's really just keeping the games for himself.
• Kacey calls Chris a hoarder. Chris has never heard of that word.
• Chris blames his hoarding on his parents again, it's all their fault, they're a bunch of packrats.
• If Chris moves any of the shit out, his mom will yell at him.
• Apparently, when Chris asked his parents about moving stuff out of the house, they said "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO WE'RE GONNA KICK YOU OUTTA THE HOUSE".

Part 1

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Chris: Hello.
Kacey: Hey, Chris, it’s Kacey.
Chris: Hey, Kace, how are you?
Kacey: I’m good, how about you?
Chris: 'Kay [Short Pause] Yeah, shoot I had a topic on my head but I can’t remember it right now so how was-
Kacey: [interrupting] Just give yourself a few minutes and think about it. My day was good, you know, just school and everything. I got to do a dissection today, so it was fun.
Chris: A dissection, what you had biology?
Kacey: Um, I’m taking anatomy and physiology. I mean, um, yeah, I'm majoring in biology. [giggles]
Chris: Oh, yeah that’s right, um, um, um, nurse thing Kacey: Yeah Chris: so it’s only natural, yeah. Okay, so I mowed the backyard today, while my mom mowed the front yaaard
Kacey: Oh, that’s good. Um, was it really hot out there, because I know it was hot where I am.
Chris: Yeah, it was warm out here, but fortunately we had a bunch of trees.
Kacey: Did you ever think that maybe you should have done both yards then and let your mom rest?
Chris: Aah, I’m sorry, what? I did not understand the question
Kacey: Maybe you should have done both of the yards, you know instead of your mom being out there in the heat
[Long pause]
Chris: Well, she wa-, she wanted to do it. She was the first one out to start mowing the lawn.
Kacey: Oh, so she had to push you to do it.
Chris: Oh no, she didn't push me to do it but, ah, it’s like, you know, I asked her if she would like my help and she said- she said, "yeah" so I, uh-
Kacey: [interrupting] Oh, well, that’s kind of you to offer
Chris: We have a ride-on mower and a push mower. She used the ride-on, I used the push.
Kacey: Oh, okay.
Chris: I had went under the- I even pushed the mover underneath- underneath the dripping branches of some of our trees.
Kacey: Oh, okay.
Chris: Some of our trees- some of our trees are- some of our trees have overhanging branches
Kacey: You ever think of trimming those branches off then?
[Long pause]
Chris: Hm. [pause]
Kacey: You know, so they don’t fall and mess things up
Chris: Yeah, we have, uh, uh, we have- we have- we have actually trimmed some of the branches before [pause] Uh, but they Kacey: 'kay Chris: grow back, you know.
Kacey: Yeah, you know plants tend to grow, um, so did you do anything else today?
Chris: Yeah, after I- after I finished up the yard I took a shower, and I went and got a smoothie with my- I went with my [sound of phone ringing in the background] Uh, my phone's, my home phone's ringing, le-le-let nobody answer it, ha uh. It’s distracting me though, anyway, yeah. My family, if I need to go out with them to get something to eat so I have to drive me by Sheetz. I got a fruit smoothie while I sent my mom and dad over at Coaches while they had, while they shared a pair of hotdogs and fries over at our- over at our Coaches Grill. They had a hot dog and fries; I had a smoothie.
Kacey: Oh, well that sounds like fun. It was just a normal family outing, huh?
Chris: Yeah, and then afterwards- and then after we got back I checked my e-mail and, ah, it went through all, it went through all that, yeah, and then I walked around the neighborhood. I did a little walking and a little jogging, I got five minutes of jogging in out of the walking, yeah, we had mostly, we have a whole bunch of inclines so it is mostly up and down, in our [long stutter] in my neighborhood here [long pause] and I went around prac- [long stutter] my whole subdivision area
Kacey: Well I mean I’ve just checked my e-mail too, and, um, Kim said it was your dad's birthday today, so did you guys do anything else besides getting the smoothie?
Chris: Yeah my mom- yeah I was going to get my father- I remembered it was my fathers birthday yesterday, and a couple of days before that as well, but unfortunately when I was running, I mean I had the money in my bank and, uh, I spaced out and I forgot to buy my father a present, but you know it’s all good. My father doesn’t usually, like he doesn’t usually care a lot much, so I can just, 'cause it is as simple as, you know, go up to Walgreen's and get a bag of Maple Nut Goodies for him, he likes those Maple Nut Goodies.
Kacey: Ok, ok, well, um, did he get any other presents?
Chris: Uhh, yeah after we got back home from lunch apparently there was a box on our front porch from a, uhh, Cherry Grove Tree company, uhh, it was like a little birthday box and then it was-
Kacey: [interrupting] I heard of them they do online orders
Chris: I’m sorry what?
Kacey: I've heard of them they do online orders, you know like Chris: Yeah. Kacey: Edible Arrangements and 1-800-Flowers. So what, what, uh, did he get?
Chris: Yeah there was a little teddy bear, small bag Kacey: Awwww Chris: of cookies, a couple of pieces of fancy chocolate and some hard- and some spheres [pronounced spears by Chris] of hard candy
Kacey: Oh my gosh, so who was nice enough to send that to him? That sounds amazing!
Chris: Mmm, yeah, but says like get this. On the- on the message note it says it was from, "Vivian and friends,". The only Vivian I know is Vivian Gee, who was that witch-
Kacey: [interrupting] Oh my gosh that was so nice of her!
Chris: Hmm, yeah, but- yeah, but-
Kacey: [interrupting] So I mean-
[long pause]
Chris: I mean, you see [unintelligible] know [unintelligible]
Kacey: You did it right? [talking over Chris] Did your dad like it?
Chris: Yeah he- yeah he liked it. He mostly shared it with my mom
Kacey: Oh, that’s so awesome though. Oh, that’s so nice
Chris: Uh, yeah, I was talking to Kim about that as well, and, you know- you know it is a nice gesture but-
Kacey: Yeah, you should totally be happy to have friends like that.
Chris: Uh
Kacey: [talking over Chris] I mean you should thank her, I mean look at that, I mean she got your dad a present when you didn’t even. I mean that’s just amazing of her.
[long pause]
Chris: Uhh, yeah well I mean I was- I was thinking about- I was planning on making a video thanking her for that, but still you know I don’t- still it doesn’t win me over, you know- it does not turn my feelings around with her on that note, you know I still- I still-
Kacey: Well I don’t see why you are trying to make this a bad thing, I mean she did a vary big gesture of good will, I mean it was- it was towards your dad of all things, I mean that’s huge. But, I mean, what did she do that is making you so mad?
Chris: Come on, if you look on her youtube account, vivi-the-gee, which is for my- which is ahh- oh shi- I have subscribed to that, and I blocked her from my youtube, mmm, oh maybe I did but
Kacey: She must have said something really bad. What was it
Chris: Uhh, but anyway she made these- she made- behind my back she make these audiobook parodies of my comic pages and that I should- and she did not have my permission on that. She was Clyde- She is- she was Clyde Cash's cousin and Clyde Cash was a major troll in my life- was really
Kacey: Oh, well maybe you should make a video concerning that, I mean you know-
Chris: I’m talk- may I finish, anyway Kacey: Whatever. Chris: anyway she- anyway aside from that- in addition to all of that she just made a whole bunch of mockery out of me. She just mocked me a whole bunch. And slandered- and slandered along with the trolls. I mean, she was no better than the rest of 'em
Kacey: How did she mock you?
Chris: Sh-sh-she. You watch any of her audiobooks and you'll find- and you'll let her- audiobooks and you'll find- or it- yeah, you watch any of her videos and you'll find out. But anyway, als- Oh shoot, I lost my train of thought.
Kacey: Well, I mean, it just seemed like that she just gave your comics a voice. I mean, I thought they were pretty good. It's just the comics in audio form. I mean, she didn't change any of your text or anything. Lots of books have audiobooks.
Chris: Yeah, anyway, I remember what I was talking about. She also wrote this book that she sent me a copy of. I did not read it, and I do not care to. I loaned it to my pastoral counselor Rocky Shoemaker, she read some of it, and it was just mostly mockery again- mostly mockery against me and my characte- and my Sonichu characters and all- and all- and my real life [unintelligible] and all that.
Kacey: Did it- did it actually have your name in it?
Chris: [pause] I wouldn't know. I have not read it.
Kacey: Well then how do you know?
Chris: It's- she based it- she
Kacey: Maybe it's a wonderful book.
Chris: No! It's not that- no, it's not that great a book. She just basically copied-
Kacey: You didn't know though if you didn't read it?
Chris: She copied my life though. She called it The Girl- I think she titled it, "The Girl Who Fought the World," something like that.
Kacey: Well, that doesn't even sound like you. You're not a girl, are you? Chris: Yeah, I know, but- Kacey: I mean, I think you should read it. Give it a chance.
Chris: But, it's like you know, she portrayed the girl being me, or me being a girl.
Kacey: Well, I think maybe you're trying to read into it too much. I think you should just read the book.
Chris: Uh, I might, after I get it back.
Kacey: Most definitely. I want to read it. That sounds exciting. But, um, Chris: Yeah, but anyway- Kacey: why didn't you want to read it, if it's from your friend?
Chris: She was never a friend, she was a troll, a- and worst off, she was a cousin of a bigger troll.
Kacey: Well, maybe you should make a video about that. You know, like really let your anger and rage out.
Chris: Yeah-yeah, I will think about that, and I will do that later. I mean-
Kacey: [talking over Chris] I mean, if you've never addressed her like that you should.
Chris: Yeah, anyway, hmm, anyway a- if I may, I'd like to change the subject. [pause] Okay. Um. Yeah, but anyway, I, uh- I went- I went out and did my shopping Wednesday, and, uh, I found accessory sports-bras for ten dollars at Wal-Mart.
Kacey: [pause] Oh! Yeah! Kim sent me the pics. Ah, how are you likin' 'em?
Chris: Yeah, they feel really comfortable.
Kacey: [understandably amused] That's good!
Chris: They feel really good. [pause] Yeah, I mean, it's like, you know- I mean-
Kacey: [talking over Chris] Are you using them for jogging like you said?
Chris: Yeah. I went- I went out and, ya know, I told you, I went- I exercised and I worked, you know, in- while wearing the sports-bra. But yeah, but, I definitely feel the difference because [machine noise]-
Kacey: What colors do you have?
Chris: What?
Kacey: What colors do you have?
Chris: Oh, okay, hang on, let me- let me get back to that. Anyway, during the whole time, my man boobs did not bounce. Like, you know, before the bra its like, you know, they would bounce and I would feel it, but, it's like you know, they don't bounce- they don't bounce as much, and it's hardly noticeable. Anyway, I thought I- anyway, you were asking me about my size just now?
Kacey: No, no, no, what colors do you have?
Chris: Oh, I'm gonna get some more, but, yeah, in the three-pack there was one grey, one white, and one denim blue. Er, sky blue, really. More appropriate, yeah.
Kacey: Wh-why are you getting more? You- you don't, uh- you need more?
Chris: Yeah, I mean, it's like, you know, I don't- I don't want to end up wearing the same one every day, you know? I mean-
Kacey: You're going to wear them every day, not just for exercise?
Chris: Yeah- I'm gon- I'm gonna exercise every day.
Kacey: Oh, but- so you're going to wear the all the time though?
Chris: Yeah, I'm thinkin' about that, yeah.
Kacey: Okay
Chris: Yeah, it just- they just- they just feel- feel really good, and it's like, you know, I'm like turned-on to the sports bra. [stammering]-
Kacey: [interrupting] I know, just, you know, normally they're just for sports Chris: Yeah, but-
Kacey: [talking over Chris] But, I mean, I guess you wouldn't have to worry about getting a real bra, you know, all of the frilly, lacy stuff.
Chris: Yeah. If- I do play on starting a regimen of exercises daily. You know, goin' out [unintelligible] walking, jogging, and I-
Kacey: [interrupting] Just remember you've got to get your heart-rate up, or else it's for nothing. You've got to get that cardio in.
Chris: [annoyed] Yeah, I'm going to.
Kacey: Good. Chris: Well, anyway- Kacey: That'll make me very proud.
Chris: Okay. Anyway. Anyway, let me go ahead and get this off my mind for a bit. When I went, uh, shopping for a bra, I mean, I was told- like- [unintelligible] I think [stammers] it was either you or Kim, one of ya'll -- uh, I think it was you though -- um, were telling me about like, you know, small, medium, large, extra-large, double-extra-large, triple-extra-large, those sizes, but during those- instead of those letter sizes it was like number sizes. So I had- I had to ask the-
Kacey: [interrupting] Oh, so they went by bust size?
Chris: Yeah, so I had to ask the, uh, nearby lady to- to measure my bust size. I turned out I was a forty-three.
Kacey: Oh, a forty-three! Chris: Yeah, uh- Kacey: [talking over Chris] I bet she was really shocked that you were like, "hey, please measure me!" Ha ha.
Chris: Yeah, I mean I was a little bit- I was a little bit embarrassed at first, but, you know, I can- I felt like, you know, I emotionally prepared myself for it. I mean, I emotionally prepared myself to go shopping for sports bras, so, you know, it definitely is like, you know, it- it pretty much falls in a si- suit [quoi?]. It made it easier for me to --

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Part 2

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Part 3

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