Mumble 3.5

A continuation of the third Mumble chat involving Chris.

Summary

This chat takes place between takes 1 and 2 of Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009. Clyde is unimpressed by the first video, while Chris tries (and fails) to explain what a gaybian is. Chris owns up to the fact that his half-assed first attempt is an "inferior product." As usual, Chris is too inconsiderate to turn down his radio.

Transcript

Chris: sigh. Hello, Clyde. You saw the video?

Clyde: What video?

Chris: The one I uploaded.

Clyde: Oh. I should probably watch that.

Chris: You probably...oh, yeah, there ya go, Julie.

Clyde: Chris, I gotta perform rites. I gotta perform rites.

Clyde begins chanting

Julie: Chris, though, I think you should stay in here...[cut off by background noise]

Chris leaves, a troll laughs, Chris returns

Chris: Er, I put him on my lap, just how I was, like how I was on that principal's lap.

Clyde: I said Optimus Prime, you know..."Transformers roll out."

Chris: sigh. I...look, I just...I used. It was an action figure, I put it on my lap just like I was on the lap of that principal, aw right? Now watch the video.

Clyde: Whoa, man, I didn't know you wanted to do it with Optimus Prime. I mean...

Chris: sigh.

Clyde: I didn't tell you to have sex with Optimus Prime, if that's what you're saying, so...

Chris: sigh.

Clyde: What is this...what is this gaybian stuff? That's not a word! It's not even a word!

Chris: Mmm...well, it's like...

Julie: Clyde, you're gonna leave me alone now, right?

Clyde: No. Of course not.

Chris: extreme sigh.

Julie: But that's what you said?

Clyde: What's a gaybian?

Chris: Yeah, you said you were gonna leave her alone...I said, uhh...

Clyde: Ok, Chris. What is a gaybian? I have never heard this word in my life!

Chris: exhales deeply. It's like, it's like, uh, a lesbian except, except, for, it's like guy and guy. voice cracks. But basically it means gay.

Clyde: No, it means you're straight!

Chris: Well, if you don't like it, I can redo the vid-, I can redo it.

Clyde: Go ahead. But, if you're going to do things like this, come on, man! You don't know how to keep a promise, do you?

Chris: sigh. Well, I did. I said, "gaaaaaaay."

Clyde: -bian, at the end. We all heard it. We're not deaf. Except, I'm half deaf, but that is not the point.

Chris: Awright.

Clyde: The point is a person can hear things, a person can see things...[muffled by background noise]

Chris: Ok, I accept that. I made an inferior product. I'll prove...I'll uh, improve it, if they'll, if you'll, if uh, what hel- if it will, if you will, if you'll give me a bit of, if you will...sigh, if you'll leave Julie, if you'll leave Julie, if you'll leave her alone.

Clyde: Man, you sure look centered. Alright, I'll leave her alone. But I'm gonna send her some chocolates, ok? Is that ok?

Chris: Uh, Julie, is that ok with you if, uh, he sends you chocolates?

Julie: Um...ok?

Clyde: And I'll send you some flowers.

Julie: Ok. Why?

Clyde: He's repeating me. Come on, you are dense, woman.

Julie: Yes, but why? Why would you hit on me?

Clyde: Because you're good-looking. Man, you are a damn good-looking woman, you know that, right?

Chris: sigh.

Julie: But, I, I like, I was...

End of Transcript

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