Mumble 3

The third of the Mumble chats involving Chris.

Summary

• Julie is having problems with her microphone.
• Chris tries and fails to diagnose the problem.

[4:00]

• Julie reveals that she’s a professional cook.
• Chris’s favorite food is macaroni and cheese.

[6:00]

• Julie doesn’t know why Max stole her password.
• Chris recommends snooping around his room for clues.

[8:00]

• Julie wants to talk about her relationship with Chris.
• Chris says “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” instead.

[9:00]

• Julie asks if Chris has heard from Cameron yet.
• Julie says that his/her country, Molvania, was destroyed.
• Julie keeps getting confused about Cameron’s gender.

[10:30]

• Chris describes Virginia as “okay” and “a historic town”.

[12:00]

• Clyde joins the channel, but he leaves right away.

[13:00]

• Chris says that he’s recovering from the stress of the Internet.
• Chris’s phone alarm goes off, making him lose his train of thought.

[14:30]

• Chris went with his dad to get his pacemaker checked.
• Julie says that Chris’s mom is an awesome singer.

[16:00]

• Julie hopes that Clyde is gone from Mumble for good.

[17:00]

• Chris previews Simonla and Wild’s upcoming relationship.

[18:00]

• Chris likes some heavy metal music and loves Guitar Hero.
• Chris created himself and a Sonichu guitar in World Tour.
• Chris uploaded a video of himself playing the game to YouTube.
• Chris doesn’t know how to play guitar but doesn’t care.

[19:30]

• Clyde comes back, but he’s not in Chris and Julie’s channel.

[20:00]

• Chris loves Britney Spears, and Julie likes her, too.

[21:00]

• Chris says that all of his female characters think he’s handsome.
• Chris’s mom tells him that he’s handsome all the time.
• Chris thinks he’s handsome and can’t understand why he’s single.

[22:00]

• Julie isn’t sure when she’ll be able to afford to come to Virginia.
• Clyde shows up to ask Chris why he hasn’t killed him yet.
• Clyde insists that he’d too nice to be on drugs this time around.
• Chris hasn’t killed Clyde because Clyde is slowly killing himself.

[25:00]

• Clyde leaves the channel, and Julie says she has to leave for a bit.

[26:00]

• Chris asks Julie if she’s receiving any aid from her relatives.

[27:00]

• Chris realizes that Clyde has heard the whole conversation.

[28:30]

• Chris is “mostly attracted to women”.
• Chris likes to draw attractive female characters.
• Chris loves his “brain-children”, but he’d never have sex with them.

[30:00]

• Chris watches porn, and Encyclopedia Dramatica has frustrated him.
• Chris wanted to do something to “stretch an adult muscle” in his head.

[31:00]

• Chris can draw romance well despite being a frustrated virgin.
• Chris is random, and sometimes he does what he feels instead of thinking.

[31:30]

• Chris’s comics are intended for children.
• The adult scenes are to be appreciated by teens and adults.

[33:00]

• How to Talk to Girls took the words out of Chris’s mouth.

[34:00]

• Chris tells Julie that she didn’t miss anything important.
• Julie explains that she was helping Max in the kitchen.

[35:30]

• Chris would consider making more non-Sonichu characters.
• Chris figures that Julie could help when she moves to Virginia.

[37:00]

• Chris doesn’t feel comfortable traveling long distances alone.
• Julie hopes to have slowly moved over to Virginia within the year.
• Chris lets Julie know that she could board with him.

[39:00]

• Most men are more comfortable with a “Sadie Hawkins situation”.
• Relationships are different in America than they are in Molvania.

[40:30]

• Chris explains how he used to wait for women to approach him.
• Chris trusts Julie, but he worries about what his mom will think.

[41:00]

• Chris suggests that Julie just “take a plunge”.
• Chris somehow realizes that he should be taking his own advice.
• Julie promises that she will try to come to Virginia within the year.
• Chris thanks Julie sincerely for her promise.

[42:00]

• Julie worries that Clyde will rape her like he raped Panda.
• A half-Asian guy drove by Julie’s house and glared at her.
• Julie worries that the half-Asian guy might’ve been Clyde.
• Julie regrets that she didn’t get the guy’s plate number.

[43:30]

• Chris is the strongest, toughest person Julie knows.
• Chris assures Julie that she can trust him to protect her.

[45:00]

• Chris and Julie are happy that they can trust each other.

[47:00]

• Julie sees someone outside of her house and is worried.
• Chris says that it’s best to just not think about it.
• Julie says that the person is holding something – perhaps a gun.
• Chris repeats that it’s best to just not think about it.
• Julie goes to lock her door because she hears pounding.
• Chris laughs hard when he’s told that it was just a salesman.
• Chris had been “quaking” with fear – an obvious lie.

[48:30]

• Chris links Burnout to the Transformers’ Bumblebee.
• Julie links the game to Back to the Future’s DeLorean.

[50:30]

• Julie wants to play video games with Chris for hours on end.
• Chris repeatedly suggests that they could “play” in other ways.

[52:00]

• Chris reveals that he is willing to let Panda be with Clyde.
• Chris says that he will let Julie take his virginity.
• Julie thanks Chris and says that she can’t wait.

[53:00]

• Chris will do his best and hopefully not prematurely ejaculate.
• Chris supposes that he has learned from pornography.
• Chris guesses that cowgirl will be his favorite sexual position.

[54:00]

• Julie will try her hardest to visit Chris on his birthday.
• Chris wishes that Julie could see him smiling at that news.

[55:00]

• Julie asks Chris for a description of their future first time.
• Julie says that she will let Chris take her virginity.
• Julie is making Chris hard, and she should take that as a compliment.

[56:30]

• Chris begins describing their future first time in detail.
• First up is a make-out session, and Chris will have eaten strawberries.

[57:00]

• Julie says that she’s already masturbating to his description.
• Next up is Chris taking off his pants and having Julie warm him up.
• Julie says that she wouldn’t mind blowing Chris on this first date.

[58:30]

• Chris explicitly assumes that he will prematurely ejaculate.
• Chris notes that he’ll still have a lot more “tiger in [his] tank”.
• Chris will unhook Julie’s bra and “marvel at [her] nipples”.
• Chris notes that Julie will already be “marveling at [his] dick”.
• Chris will then massage Julie’s breasts and go down on her.

[1:00:00]

• Julie hopes that Chris is masturbating with her, but he isn’t.
• Chris changes his mind and grabs his dick right afterward.

[1:01:00]

• Chris will start things off by going at it doggy style.
• Chris says that “it can go up to seven inches” – an obvious lie.
• Chris spouts, “In and out. In and out. Doggy style. Yay!”

[1:02:00]

• Chris will use his fingers to keep his dick inside her.
• Chris says that he wouldn’t do anal during their first time.
• Chris predicts that cowgirl will come after doggy style.
• Chris belatedly notes that he will be wearing a condom.
• Chris speculates as to where on Julie’s body he’ll cum.
• Julie says that she’ll probably want to take it in the mouth.

[1:04:00]

• Chris says that they might clean up… or they might not.
• Julie says out of nowhere that she thinks she’s coming.

[1:05:00]

• Julie says that she’ll try to send Chris a picture of herself.
• Chris gives Julie his number, apparently for the first time.
• Julie can’t give Chris her number because she doesn’t have one.

[1:07:30]

• Chris wants to “be emotional in person” at some point.
• Julie has to leave for a little bit for no stated reason.

[1:10:00]

• Chris says that his parents would be cool with them fucking.
• Chris will be happy to introduce Julie to his parents first.

[1:12:00]

• Chris imagines his future: married and with a daughter.
• Julie will gladly be his wife and the mother of Crystal.
• Chris wants to be the “househusband” of the relationship.

[1:13:00]

• Chris has no idea what he’d do if he did have to work.
• Chris isn’t sure what job he could get with his CADD degree.

[1:14:00]

• Julie has set up a PayPal account for herself.
• Chris uses his account to sell items on eBay.
• Julie suggests that Chris make money with Sonichu.
• Chris isn’t sure he wants to go around advertising him.

[1:17:30]

• Julie suggests that Chris re-start talks with Nintendo.
• Chris says that he isn’t in touch with Cole Smithey.
• Chris has no idea how he’d come up with money to travel.
• Julie insists that Chris prove himself to Reggie Fils-Aimé.

[1:20:30]

• Chris won’t shut up about Julie helping him do all of the above.

[1:21:30]

• Chris has no idea when the next issue of Sonichu will be done.
• Chris says he has to leave for a while to collect his thoughts.

[1:22:30]

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