Kacey Call 5

29 August 2009

Highlights

CHRIS: "...It's not stupidity, it's just dumb. I just was dumb on the subject; I never learned about that sort of thing."

• Chris just finished getting a "stern talking-to" from Kim about getting a job; he already can't remember what she said.
• Kacey did research on how Chris can still receive the tugboat while having a job or something; he doesn't listen.
• Counselors at PVCC told Chris that they could get him a job; he didn't listen.
• Chris doesn't know what Financial Aid is; he promises to Google it.
• Chris didn't have any control over his own money until he was 23.
• Chris whines some more about being blank-minded and confused.
• Chris says he's willing to go from digital cable to basic cable.
• Chris lies about how much he spends on the PSN.
• Chris compares buying game add-ons to having a magazine subscription to try and make Kacey understand it's not a big deal.
• Chris doesn't know anything about college because that happened yeeeeaars ago.
• CADD WAS HARD WORK BURNED INTO HIS PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY.
• Chris took tennis and ice-skating classes in college.
• Chris took accounting and/or marketing classes first, then "years later" he found out there were not enough jobs available in that field so he switched to CADD.
• Kacey says Chris is basically wiping his ass on his CADD Degree; Chris says "that was uncalled for".
• Chris says he understands so that Kacey will shut up and let him leave.

Part 1

Kacey-CWC Call 5 Part 1
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Stardate	29 August 2009
Featuring	Chris; Kacey
Saga	Liquid Liquid Saga
Audio Recordings
previous Kacey Call 4	next Kacey Call 6

Chris: Hello-o?
Kacey: Hey Chris, it's Kacey.
Chris: Hey Kacey. How are you?
Kacey: I'm okay.
Chris: I'm okay too. [content sigh] So um...
Kacey: Um...
Chris: Anything on your mind right now?
Kacey: What?
Chris: Is there anything on your mind right now?
Kacey: Yeah, um, did you go apply for jobs like I said?
Chris: Oh yeah. I go - I wen- I uh, uh, application at Wal-Mart. Uh, I'm gonna wait 'til... I'm gonna....
Kacey: [interrupts] That's good. Did you do it in person?
Chris: Uh, no, I filled- no, I went online and did it. Filled it out for the Charlottesville store.
Kacey: Okay, cause, um, I did some research for you. Um, about working with your disability. And actually, um, this is a lot easier than I thought it would be. Like you could - they put you on a trial work period or they - and they can extend your period of eligibility. Like, you could be making... um... like it doesn't matter what you make during the trial work period, like you'll get both still, your uh, your tugboat and your, uh wages. And, even afterwards if you're not making enough, like you can get both. It actually goes by what you make, not by how many hours you work.
Chris: Hmm... I see.
Kacey: Yeah, I mean that's actually really exciting! I mean, you could be technically making more than me. [Chris tries to interrupt, she keeps talking] Well, at least, you know, right now. [laughs]
Chris: Well, I don't know. Um, I'm st- I s- still got to uh, wait to talk to uh, that guy from s- social security...
Kacey: [interrupts] Chris! This is straight from the social security site! This is a great opportunity! And even if you make too much money you can still keep your Medicaid, uh, benefits! I mean, how can you not be excited about this?
Chris: I dunno... I got- I got- I just talked to Kim and she gave me some, uh, tough talkin' to as well, ya know, about uh, me getting a job and what not, uh... Also talked about uh, old school - also t- also talked about college days and uh, I don- I- I don't remember all the details but it's all- it's all ju- it's like absorbed - everything she told me is in the back of my head. It's- it's tattooed in my head.
Kacey: Well, that doesn't really... [Chris tries to interrupt]
Chris: It... it's...
Kacey: ...that doesn't really sound like you listen to her a lot.
Chris: I did listen to her! I did! I did.
Kacey: But didn't you just talk to her and you can't remember stuff?
Chris: [stress sigh]
Kacey: I mean, 'cause you told me that Kim calls before I do.
Chris: Yeah. [pause] Hmm, but anyway uh... mm, let me think... let me think.
Kacey: But I mean uh- ar- are you- so I did all this research for you, and you don't even... care now?
Chris: I do care! I do care. I appreciate it. I do.
Kacey: Well I mean you're- I don't think you're really gonna do anything! I- I mean...
Chris: [interrupts] I'm- I- I- I'm doing something! My family knows I'm out to look for a job.
Kacey: Okay, so what did your family say?
Chris: Uh... This- this- it- they're, they're all like, "Ah, well yeah, you gotta find out how much you're gonna earn, and how this is- how this is gonna- is gonna effect your social security, and uh, if you're going to be able to earn more than your social security..." Ahh...
Kacey: You need to make a LOT more than your social security, like you need to make... Like, okay. Um... like, um, depending also on... w- you know, how your uh, quote unquote disability effects you getting to work and stuff.... Like, they can take these expenses, um, and actually deduct it from your pay. Like so, even if you're making let's say a thousand dollars a month, um, if your disability causes you to have to do things that cost you two hundred a month, you're still - they- they count those two hundred, um, against your pay so you're still making - you know, even though you are making more than you should, they won't count it against you. Like you have to be making over a thousand dollars a month before they're gonna even... Even then they're only gonna take part of it away. They're never gonna take away all of it. Like you'd have to make a LOT more to where it wouldn't even matter. I mean and even if your parents are behind you or not, you're 27, right? I mean, you have to make your own decisions!
Chris: [pause] Yeah, I- I do have to make my own decisions, uh... yeah. Als- one of the things I talked to Kim about was like uh, I- I'm often confused with my li- I'm often confused about things that I actually, uh, want or... need. It's been that way for so many years. I mean like...
Kacey: [interrupts] Well don't you think it's time for that to change then?
Chris: Yeah it - I do need to ah, that's ah - that's something I do need to change.
Kacey: But I mean, you know, your whole life you're going to be figuring stuff out. There's not a magical upgrade that makes you an adult. I mean, I'm pretty sure, like, at times, my parents still need to figure things out and everything. I mean, we're not computers. We don't work like computers. We definitely don't.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah you're right. You are right, about that. Hmm... but anyway one of my- anyway one of my problems in my mind is like ya know I... tend ta... I tend, I ah, I often do get confused, and uh, feel like I'm lost, and it's like - ya know, and I- I'm not- I have not been sure of what exactly I want in life other than my sweetheart, and my little daughter Crystal that I have dreamed of... And pretty much, ya know, all my life, every time I've been asked "Where do you see yourself in five years?", I always draw a blank!
Kacey: Well, maybe that's showing you that maybe you should let go of Crystal and all that stuff. Maybe you should go in a different direction. Maybe you're getting blanked because you're not going in the direction you should be going in.
Chris: Yeah, but...
Kacey: You need to focus on more important things.
Chris: And- and that's another thing, I mean ya know, Kim could tell you more about the conversation we had, but uh - but she- she and I talked about that, but also like ya know, even during, even with, even - I have talked to my counselors in Piedmont, when I was working towards my CADD degree and certificate. It's like ya know, yeah sure they can help me get a job, and yadda yadda yadda... um...
Kacey: Then why didn't you let them?!
Chris: [pause] ...Yeah. I- it's jus- I- I have never been really sure what I wanted to go out for. I mean... I- I- ah- [stuttering]
Kacey: [interrupts] Then you need to get back in school Chris! You need to do something. You're 27. You're - I mean yes, I know people are going to school, um older and older but, [laughs] come on! Isn't there anything you wanted to do even when you were little?
Chris: I- I- [frustrated stuttering] I'm thinking about it! I'm mean I'm trying to- I'm ah- I'm ah- I'm trying to make- ah- [stuttering]
Kacey: [interrupts] C'mon, this is pathetic.
Chris: I'm sorting all this out and I'm thinking about it, and I'm going to do- I'm going to do something. It takes time for me before I can - before I actually - but I AM doing something, you know. I submitted the application for Wal-Mart, and I'm going to do one for Target, and I'm going to do one for Ma-Donalds...
Kacey: Chris. Remember when I said in other cultures you wouldn't survive? I mean come on. You need to take charge. I mean, you are an adult. You're gonna have to make snap judgments sometime. I mean y- I mean isn't there anything that you wanted to do when you were younger? I mean, even if it's something like making video games! You could probably do that!
Chris: I mean, that is one thing, but... I- that- that is one thing but...
Kacey: [interrupts] I mean you already have some CADD stuff, you could learn how to program them and stuff.
Chris: Yeah, but unfortunately they don't teach that- those kinds of classes at like, uh, Piedmont. I'm not sure if there are any colleg- if there are any classes around here...
Kacey: [interrupts] Whatever! They have stuff online you can take, Chris! You have no excuse!
Chris: Yeah but- yeah, I know, but I'm kinda reluctant on taking classes online.
Kacey: No, okay, there's no but! You either don't have an excuse, or you do have an excuse!
Chris: Okay, fine, I don't have an excuse. But... so many options, I'm not sure- I'm not sure wha- I'm just not sure where to begin.
Kacey: A lot of people are. Why don't you go talk to um, I mean if you can't go to PVCC, why don't you go to someplace else that's closer? Um, or why don't you go somewhere in D.C.? I mean... it would be easy for you to get housing. [pause, Chris sighs] Why don't you take a couple different classes and see? Or, or I mean, I bet you don't even research this sh- stuff.
Chris: [pause] I have- I did- I do research- I do researching ya know... I've tried- I've gone onto social security dot gov, website... but I don't... I... I cannot understand it, I... [Kacey talks over him]
Kacey: Okay, but I'm talking about school. Chris.
Chris: [tries to interrupt]
Kacey: Chris! CHRIS! Listen to me! No! Listen to me! Do you not realize the opportunities you have? Do you not realize they will pay for your school? They will pay for your boarding? They will pay for your transportation? Do you know how much I would KILL for that going through school right now? And I'm going to have to go through med school! And you are just SITTING on your ass wasting that shit when the government will BEG you to take it! WHAT the hell?!
Chris: I didn't even know I had those options and I'm not sure how to activate those options. I never learned!
Kacey: Go to a school! Talk to a counselor there! Talk to an adviser there. Fill out your, F-A-F-S-A. I mean, come on. There's SO much that you could just reach out for and... Ugh! I mean like, you could do anything!
Chris: Ah - Ah, hold up there... S-A-S-A?
Kacey: Your FAFSA? Come on. The financial aid application? How do you NOT know... [laugh] about... I- I- [cracks up]
Chris: I- I- I do not know that. I've never even heard of that.
Kacey: How do you not hear ab- ...Are you serious?! It's financial aid! You- you- you went to college!
Chris: I've- I- I've heard- I've heard of financial aid but I never heard of S-A-S-A.
Kacey: You haven't heard of a FAFSA? That - you HAD to have filled one out. I mean, did your parents pay for your college outright?
Chris: Yeah, my parents did pay for my college classes.
Kacey: [sigh] Just go to a college. Just go to a financial aid office or just... Google-

Part 2

Call 5, Part 2

Kacey: -it. It's F-A-F-S-A. [Chris echoes, "F-A-F-S-A"] And it's so easy to do online. It so is. All you need are... you know what? You wouldn't even need much of anything 'cause you don't pay taxes so you don't have any W-2's or anything, or W-4's, so, pfft. And you're old enough to where your parents won't matter. So you could probably get - I mean you have no income and you're on disability, you - oh my God, they would pay for everything!
Chris: [pause] Well I will look into that. That was S-A-F-S-A?
Kacey: F-A-F-S-A.
Chris: ...Hmm. Okay, what's the acronym stand for? That will help me understand better.
Kacey: Are you serious?
Chris: Ya I'm serious.
Kacey: It- it's just easier if you just Google that. I promise you. It- it's gonna come up. It- it's gonna be a dot gov site... [snickers]
Chris: Okay, I will look- okay, I will look that up. And I will look into it.
Kacey: Chris. It's only five letters. [laughing] It- it's okay. Just- or just Google financial aid! That's going to be the FIRST thing that pops up on Google, I promise you!
Chris: Okay. Financial aid, I will Google that. [Kacey sighs] My computer's on the other room. I'll uh, go take care- I, uh, I will- I promise you I will go look into that right after we- right after we finish up here. [long pause] Kacey?
Kacey: [short sigh] Yeah?
Chris: I wa- I mean, it was just kinda like, ya know, I wasn't sure you were there, you know, you just paused for a moment. But yeah, I promise you I will go look into everything-
Kacey: [interrupts] I'm just frustrated, y'know.
Chris: [pause] Well... i-it's not your fault that I'm a little bit re- that I'm a little bit slow sometimes.
Kacey: I know, but I mean like, this is stuff you should know. I mean this is- this is frustrating for me. I mean, like, I can understand ignorance, but I can't stand stupidity.
Chris: No I- no it's not stupi- no, it's not stupidity, it's just dumb. I just- was dumb on the subject, I never learned about that sort of thing.
Kacey: How do you not if you go to school? Obviously, SOMEBODY must have talked about, "Hey, I got my financial aid!", I mean, I'm pretty sure you could not go to college, and not even overhear somebody... talk about financial aid.
Chris: I- yeah- I've overheard- Yeah, I've overheard discussions of financial aid. But it was like, ya know, I was like picking my classes... and... and I just didn't - I just didn't - and my parents did not make a big deal about it, and I just... didn't....
Kacey: Well it's not up to your parents! It's not up to your parents to make a big deal about it. It's up to YOU to grab your future! [long pause]
Chris: [sound of distress] ...Yeah, it is up to me, ahh... there is a lot for me to think about. Yeah, but I wa- but I will Google financial aid and I will, I will, uh, research that. Hm... And then - make it- make it- mmm, sort out what I really would like to do, and... mmm, do it. [pause] Damn incoming ca- ! [audio warps]
Kacey: [sounding tired] ...What?
Chris: [indistinctly] I think I might have touched a thing, wait. Um...
Kacey: What?
Chris: Okay, are you still there?
Kacey: Yeah, I'm here.
Chris: I had an incoming call from a- from some 404, 67-something... it was a long number, obviously long distance... it was like...
Kacey: 404?
Chris: No... four- f- four-four... uh...
Kacey: Okay you - Hold on hold on, tell me it?
Chris: I don't know, it's like, four four - something. Hm.
Kacey: Um, no, go ahead and look up-
Chris: It- it- anyway. Anyway. Anyway, it was like an incoming, it was incoming, and it was like, it was interrupting you, bothering me, you know. I got an incoming call-
Kacey: [interrupts] Was the 404 an area code?
Chris: Uh... it was like 447. I think... I don't, I'm not- [audio warps] -that might not be correct.
Kacey: Okay, there's a big difference between that and... [trails off]
Chris: Ehh. Well never mind, never mind the phone number, the point was, i- it- the call was incoming while I was talking to you, and it just makes a beep, to my, to the speaker on my cell phone. And it just bothered me. [pause]
Kacey: Uh-huh.
Chris: [sounding excited] Two new voicemail! Shaddup, phooone, I'm talking to my- [pause] -talkin' to Kacey here. Dang phone, right? I mean, I'm sure you've had problems like that...
Kacey: You're talking to your what?
Chris: I'm talkin' to - Kacey.
Kacey: No, you said, "I'm talking to my ____" -you're talking to your what?
Chris: [sounding defeated] I- I'm talking to my friend.
Kacey: Okay.
Chris: [in a small voice] Okay.
Kacey: Just making sure.
Chris: Okay, you have the right. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, yeah- I wi- I will, uh- yeah. I will... stay on track, Googling financial aid after we finish up here.
Kacey: But I mean, you need to- you need to trust me on this. I mean, I'm not gonna - make you lose your tugboat. Not- not that I approve of it! Just to let you know, I mean, I think it's great to help get people in the right direction, but you can't be on it for the rest of your life. I mean, you've already been on it what, since you've been eighteen? That, that's kind of pathetic, Chris. I mean, I'm- I'm paying for you to sit around and do nothing.
Chris: [confused] Um... yeah wait a minute, paying for it when I was eight- no wait a, wha- what- What about paying for it when I was eighteen, from eighteen?
Kacey: I'm a taxpayer. My money goes towards that.
Chris: Yeah, yeah, yeah, before that. You said something about, uh, something happening when I was eighteen?
Kacey: You- you've been on this since you were eighteen, correct?
Chris: Oh, the social security. Um... uhhh, yeah but the money was going to my parents, and uh, they did not redirect it to-
Kacey: It's still coming out of my paycheck.
Chris: It was not redirected to me until after - I think I was like 23, something like that. [pause]
Kacey: ...What was that?
Chris: I do not think they redirected it toward, redirected the money towards me until after I turned 23.
Kacey: I thought that your money still went to your dad.
Chris: Yeah... the ma- I mean, it's like you know, they- uh, yeah, they had me on the disability since I was born, and my - and the checks were going to my mother and my father. And then-
Kacey: Wait, since you were born?
Chris: Okay, well, maybe since I was diagnosed with autism.
Kacey: I was about to say, 'cause, you- you can't just tell a child has autism once they're born!
Chris: [stammering] Okay well, I'm sorry, I got my- I got mixed up, I- I'm trying- I-
Kacey: That's conflicting!
Chris: Okay, I got mixed up, I'm sorry. But anyway, uh, since I was diagnosed with autism-
Kacey: How do you get that mixed up? [pause]
Chris: [stress sigh] I don't- I'm trying- I'm gathering- okay, my mouth is going faster than my brain.
Kacey: [cynical laugh] Aha. [another pause]
Chris: ...I'm sure that's happened to you, you know.
Kacey: Um. I don't know, I pretty much think before I speak sometimes, like, unless I get really, really, really angry.
Chris: Yeah- [oddly echoing]
Kacey: I mean, I'm pretty much in control of myself, I am... I AM in my late twenties, I have learned how to do this since I was like, eight.
Chris: Yeah, I mean, I've learned how to, uh, control my speech as well, I mean like, my brain... where it can, think with my mouth. It's like, you know, when I'm feeling - frustrated or confused, I tend to, uh, lose control. And, get con- and, yeah.
Kacey: I thought you said you were way more in control of stuff. Y- you just told me that yesterday.
Chris: I - yeah - I am more in control. 'Cause, I have to- [long pause] ...Yeah. ...Mmfh.
Kacey: I- I don't know. Just sometimes you make this really hard. It- it really does. Because you are my friend, and I hate to see one of my friends do this to themselves.
Chris: I- I- I- Okay- okay- Yeah, okay, I understand. I'm being difficult to read. And I'm sorry.
Kacey: It- it's nothing about you being difficult to read, it's just that I really don't think you're going to do anything.
Chris: I'm going-
Kacey: I - No! You're actually being fairly easy to read.
Chris: [sigh] I'm going to do- I'm going to do it. I'm serious.
Kacey: Okay, I hope you are.
Chris: I will. [long pause] Anyway, getting back - lemme - getting back to, uh, my discussion with Kim earlier. Um... yeah, she pretty much encouraged me to get a job as well. [something indistinct]
Kacey: Good. I'm glad she did.
Chris: Or, uh, Or- or getting- or- or try getting classes, or financial aid, all that, You know. Even to - move out of my house, and she's like - I tell her- I told her in the... streamline? From one memory to another? ...About the - situation in my head? Where often I'm like, blank-minded? And I get confused, a bit... along with that?
Kacey: Uh-huh.
Chris: And, uh... at points she did make it clear, like, where I should begin? Like firstly, she said I should get a job, and then look at prices of an apartment, or housing? And then consider the bi- consider the, uh, the electricity, the uh, uh, water, the inter- the uh, wireless internet, the cable, all that. And then, I was like, blank-minded, and I was like - that went over my head, but still, I mean, yeah, that's a lot for me to consider.
Kacey: Well, I mean, that is something to consider, but I mean, if you do move out on your own, are you willing to give up some of those things? Like, are you willing to have regular cable instead of digital cable? If it saves you a few bucks?

Part 3

Call 5, Part 3

Kacey: I mean, are you willing to make those adult sacrifices?
Chris:: Uh, I guess I'm willing to go from digital cable to basic cable.
Kacey: And you're gonna have to buy less video games. Yo-you just can't impulse buy.
Chris:: Yeah... yeah... I'm trying to- I'm- I've been working on controlling my impulse as well.
Kacey: [over Chris] That's good, cause you really need to. I- I think you really need to, cause you can't spend hundreds on the PlayStation store weekly.
Chris:: Um... yeah. I don't spend- I- I- That would be an exaggeration right there, spending hundreds on the PlayStation store weekly.
Kacey: You said two thousand dollars, and the PS3 hasn't been around that long. [chuckle]
Chris:: It's been around for over two years. But anyway, yeah, hundreds a week that IS an exaggeration.
Kacey: [sighs?]
Chris:: I've actually had mine since like March 2007.
Kacey: Uh huh.
Chris:: Yeah, but anyway, I- I don't- anyway, if I spend money on the PlayStation Network, it wouldn't be any more than 5-10 dollars a week.
Kacey: Well, I mean, it's not just, you know, your PSN stuff. I'm pretty sure you buy actual games. Uh, you know, so I mean that's gotta add up. I mean if you uh-only have 2000 on your PSN, imagine how much you've been buying for uh, like things like the Wii, and things for your PS3, like, you know, guitar hero controllers and the actual games and stuff. I mean, y-you probably spent m- uh- you if you spend just as much on those things on your PSN, that's $4000 in a year or two. That's ridiculous.
Chris:: [sheepishly] Yeah, I can see that.
Kacey: Th-that's pathetic.
Chris:: Hm... [long pause] Um... [another long pause]
Kacey: I mean, you know, that's a down payment on a car, Chris. [frustrated chuckle]
Chris:: Okay, I guess you're right, I guess that is pathetic.
Kacey: Tch, you're damn straight it is!
Chris:: [sigh] Eehh, but for the record though. Most of the- when I buy stuff on PlayStation Network, it's mostly like, you know, addons for Guitar Hero or LittleBigPlanet. Or addons fo-
Kacey: But that's where they get you.
Chris:: Well, for- or addons for the games I do have. I've- I actually am up-to-date on my add-ons for Burnout Paradise, by the way. I uhh... yeah I don't buy new games at like GameStop, or used games at GameStop. The game disks, as much as I do the uh, add-ons.
Kacey: But still, you have- I mean, just to even get the add-ons, you have to actually have to have the game.
Chris:: Yeah, but still. I mean that saves me- that saves me trips to the GameStop to go buy a new game.
Kacey: Games are expensive Chris! I know how expensive games are. You can rack up that much easily by getting less you know, than you do on the PSN. All it takes is a three games and look! There goes almost two hundred dollars. [Skype sound]
Chris:: Hm... now that is an exaggeration right there. I mean...
Kacey: They're like $60 each. Three games would be $180.
Chris:: Yeah, but then you wait a while and then they go down to like 20 or... 30 or 20.
Kacey: That's a long wait, before they go to 20. That's a very, very long wait.
Chris:: Yeah... that is quite a long wait. But still, patience is kinda worth it. I mean- I mean sure. You're looking forward to giving me uh- the new Ratchet and Clank game. It's like you can't even- you can't afford it.
Kacey: [interrupts] Yeah, but I mean. I don't think you're that patient with video games, Chris. Cause I mean, like. You're always- I mean come on! You've got most of this stuff like, brand new, like uh, you're already telling me that you've already put money down at GameStop, so you can't tell me that you're not buying new games at GameStop. You're doing that with the new Guitar Hero. You've- you- you- you know you do that.

[Continues]

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