Bob Walks In
The a cybersex-chat with Julie, in which Chris is caught masturbating by this father, Bob.
Summary
The Chandler family Home only has one computer, and it's in the kitchen. Every time Chris want's to engage in cyber sex, he's literally spanking it in the middle of the kitchen/living room.
Late one night, Chris was on a hot e-date with his ONE, TRUE AND HONEST SWEETHEART Julie. Chris was moaning hot, sweaty nothings into the microphone as he furiously pounded his bent duck. As Chris began to reach a climax, his cries became louder and louder, waking his sleeping father Bob Chandler. Bob, walked into his son's most intimate moment, and was, justifiably, horrified and appalled. In a rare moment of parental authority, Robert threatened to punish Chris by "cutting down the internet". Chris, use to having things his way for nearly three decades, was appalled, confused and no longer aroused. For unknown reasons, Robert instructs Chris to wake Snorlax Barbara Chandler.The recording ends after Robert's many futile attempts to shut down the computer finally succeed.
Some consider this the pinnacle of the ongoing Chris-chan saga, as it represents a moment where Chris actually feels negative reprocutions for his horrible behavior. It contains many memorable lines and is the height of emotional drama.
Daddy Catches Chris having one off the wrist
| “ | Get away from the internet, I'm cutting it down!!! | ” |
| Bob Chandler | ||
| “ | NO DAD, NO! | ” |
| Chris, during Goofy Time | ||
Transcript
Bob: Christian, what are you doing?
Chris: Nothing.
Bob: I’m getting all these crazy damn calls. What're you doing?
Chris: Nothing.
Bob: Give me that crap. Now, what’s going on?
Chris: Dad, will you get out of here?
Bob: No. [string of Windows beeps] I will not. People telling me that you’re about to kill yourself on Youtube.
Chris: What?
Bob: What are you doing?
Chris: I’m not doin’ anything.
Bob: Want me to wake your mother up and find out?
Chris: No.
Bob: Then get out of here, and off that Internet.
Chris: Fine.
Bob: What is your trouble?
Chris: I am not going to kill myself.
Bob: Get away from that TV.
Chris: Fine.
Bob: Get away from the Internet. I’m cuttin’ it down, right now.
Chris: No! Dad, no!
Bob: Yes.
Chris: No!
Bob: What are you doin’?
[long pause, keys clicking on the keyboard, then single Windows beep]
Chris: Don’t do it, Dad.
Bob: I’m gonna shut this thing right down.
Chris: No.
Bob: Yes.
Chris: No! [pause] Dad, no. Stop!
Bob: Go wake your mother up; don’t bother me. Okay? [pause] Go wake your mother up! Don’t bother me!
Chris: Ugh.
Bob: Go and wake your mother up!
Chris: Ugh.
Bob: You tell mm-her what’s going on. This thing is gonna go down.
Chris: No!
Bob: Yes!
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