Mumble 4

The fourth of the Mumble chats involving Chris on 6 February 2009, lasting 48:34.

Summary

• Chris is uploading the second gay video.
• Chris and Clyde play tic-tac-toe. Chris makes a losing move, and Clyde calls off the game.
• Chris explains why he didn't go to Miyamoto.
• Clyde asks why Chris has spent over $1000 on PSN. Chris tries to label $1000 as an obvious exaggeration, a lie that Clyde calls him out on. "Whoo-pee-fuckin-doo." He guesses that he's spent $10000 on games over the past 9 years, but claims to be recovering from his spending problem.
• Julie says she'd stay with Chris even if he becomes homeless.
• Clyde asks Chris to name 5 bills associated with the house. Chris's answer is made of fail.
• Chris cites Peter Griffin and Homer Simpson as surviving failures based on their creators. "D'oh!"
• "If anything, I'm overqualified [...] for every type of job available."
• As an example of his creativity, Chris sends Clyde his CADD plans for the shopping mall.
• Clyde describes the wild woman he loved, who killed herself.

18:30

• Clyde says Chris doesn't know what love is.
• Chris gets emotional on the subject that PandaHalo (Sarah) got with Clyde, but less so when Clyde says she might be dead.
• They talk about Wes Iseli and Sarah Hammer.
• Chris saw the movie Just Friends. "Romantic comedies build hope for TRUE romances." Memories build toward love. Without such honest feelings, it's as meaningless as sex with a prostitute.

25:30

• Chris denies just wanting sex. If he did, he would have hired a prostitute and gotten an STD years ago.
• In a woman, Chris looks for a caring personality, strong emotions, a strong will, all-around personality. But definitely not black. But he's not racist, oh no. "I would care about a black woman as a friend, honestly. But, you know, I would not want it beyond just friendship." (28:10) Chris does a retarded imitation of a Jamaican racist. But he's not racist. The Donald Duck impersonation scares the shit out of Clyde. "Hey, if the imitation is imitatable, then it's okay then."

31:20

• Chris justifies giving advice with the quote: "Those who teach, can't."
• Chris burps.
• Clyde says he's probably the closest friend Chris has got. "Hmm... I hear you there."
• Chris tells Clyde he wants to apologize to Clyde's cousin Vivian for not being receptive to her advice.
• The second gay video is up.

39:00

• Clyde tells Chris to get rid of his material possessions for Julie. Clyde quotes Fight Club: "It's only when you lose everything when you're free to do anything." Chris says it'd take him more than 8 hours.
• Chris has read R.L. Stine books, "the one with George and... Lenny?", the Bible, The Giver, Britney Spears Pamela Anderson's Star, ???, another one on the tip of his tongue, and he's reading Vivian's book.
• Clyde gives Chris 3 days to sell or throw away his shit. (The result is Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009.) Chris makes some reference to SAW III.

48:00

• The other trolls jizz all over Clyde.

Transcript

This media needs a transcript. Help CWCki by transcribing the content. If the media is too long, transcribe select portions which are funny or informative.

BlueSpike: Alright, so anyway. (?)
Chris: Alright, I redid the video. I did not use the word “gaybian”. I did not use it.
Clyde: (interrupts) Let's watch and find out okay?
Chris: Well, it's gonna be 'bout a half-hour to an hour
Clyde: Let's play a little game. It's called Tic-Tac-Toe. You know, with the circles and the exes. Okay?
Chris: Alright.
Clyde: I call the middle square. What square do you call?
Chris: Mmmm. Upper Left.
Clyde: Alright, I'll call the one right below it.
Chris: I call...middle right.
Clyde: Well, I'm just messing with you. Let's not play this game. Chris, I have to ask you one-- one very important question.
Chris: Shoot.
Clyde: Ah man, my memory's coming (need clarification). Why...why do you drop women on the...just you know, on the tip of the hat? I mean, you and whatsername, Sarah... Cassandra Mackenzie. You said yourself you were like, really close for months and months.
Chris: Yeah.
Clyde: And you drop her on the, just drop it right there and you didn't go to Nintendo. You didn't do anything. Why didn't you do a thing?
Chris: Hmmm...Uh... hmm...Well, because I felt uncertain of a lot of details. Like I wasn't totally sure I was talking to the real Mr. MAIyamoto. And plus I didn't have my family's support. And uh I really did not have the money to make the trip.
Clyde: You just blew your chance, Chris. You know- you know that whatever you say will be taken as crazy talk but you know I'm already working with Reggie right? It's not going to happen for quite a few months in fact. But be prepared, be prepared.
Chris: For what?
Clyde: You know, Rabbichoso. Come on
Chris: I bet it'll go straight to $9.99 bin.
Clyde: (laughs) Of course, because it's being priced at $9.99. It's not a full priced game. You know that. You know, it's going to be on like Playstation Network. Well it's probably not. It's probably just gonna be on Wii Ware. Still good, it'll be just like Cave Story. You ever play Cave Story?
Chris: No.
Clyde: Do you play any good games? I mean, Christ. You spent over $1000 on Playstation Network...why would you spend so much money?
Chris: I play a lot of good games.
Clyde: N-nevermind about the good games part, that's irrelevant bullshit. Why would you spend over $1000 on Playstation network.
Chris: How do you know I spent over $1000 on the Playstation Network? Because that could be an obvious exaggeration right there.
Clyde: It's not an obvious exaggeration.
Chris: Okay.
Clyde: I have your records detailing your intimate history from March 07 to January 09 of every single purchase you ever made. I calculated it. It's over $1000.
Chris: You don't even have to track the history you could just go to the download list and then figure out which ones are demos-
Clyde: Exactly, it's been over $1000 Chris.
Chris: Alright fine, woopty freakin' doo, $1000. But it's only a little bit at a time over a long period of time.
Clyde: Chris, you don't know anything about saving money how much do you spend on games.
Chris: Hmm...well I spend a lot.
Clyde: How much do you think you spent over the last 9 years.
Chris: 9..well, yup. Mmmm...I'd say estimate, uh, taking a rough guess here. Fine, $10,000. I'm just taking a guess.
Clyde: Ugh, Christ man. If you can't afford the money then you can't afford to save anything for your future; for your future children; for your future wife. You don't think about the future do you? You just think about now; you just think about what you want now; what you want-
Chris: Fine well I'm not- well I admit I wasn't good at money, I was very compulsive at the spending.
Clyde: You still are.
Chris: I'm recovering. Hey at least I'm not that far gone to admit it that I have a problem with spending and I admit the problem, that's the first step to recovery.
Clyde: That's far from the first step, you have to do something.
Chris: I am, I'm taking initiative to save.
Clyde: And how much have you saved?
Chris: Ugh, well I have bills to- I have credit card bills to pay!
Clyde: For the past five years, I've been working on a little egg to save money I spent- I've dipped into it a bit. See from my parents inheretence and some miles I can call him (?). I got 15,000 saved Chris, for the past five years Chris.
Chris: Well good for you, I praise you for that.
Clyde: I'm saying you can't even save $100. What makes you think you can support a family?
Chris: (sighs)
Clyde: Julie, why would you want to be with this man? He can't support a family, he can't support you!
Julie: Because I love him.
Chris: Not right away- (inaudible)
Julie: Because I truly love him.
Chris: Yeah. The power of love and God- and God- and power of prayer and God's help and enough time, it can work.
Clyde: And what will you do if you're homeless? What will you do?
Chris: Hmm, homeless. That that's a tough one. Well, there's a thing called family. I have good people in my family.
Clyde: Julie, you're going to take this? You're going to accept living without a home? Really?
Julie: If it's with Chris, yes.
Clyde: Oh my god, you two are going to die faster than I can say autistic. You- I can't believe it. You would accept being homeless.
Julie: Yes, I would.
Clyde: Enjoy your death, enjoy your death.
Chris: Hey, you don't know what-
Julie: Chris will never be homeless.
Chris: Yeah and besides- besides Clyde, you don't know- you don't know what kind of lifestyle Julie had to gre-grew up with. I mean she came from a poor country.
Clyde: [Interrupts] And this is what you're going to treat her to, is the same-the same old life she had before. That's very gentlemen-like Chris.
Chris: Now I'm gonna tr- I'm gonna do my best to try to give her a much more comfortable life, I'll do my best.
Clyde: Chris, when your parents die, what's gonna happen to your house, whats going to happen?
Chris: You're asking me when my parents die, what's going to happen to my house?
Clyde: Yes.
Chris: Well, I assume the house is still gonna be on the land its built upon.
Clyde: Oh, so it's not yours anymore, interesting.
Chris: Well actually they're leaving it to me. So there.
Clyde: So you've got a house, that's decent. Tell me, name 5 bills associated with, you know, maintaining the house. Can you even name 5?
Chris: 5 bills associated with maintaining the house. Alright, there's the electricity, the water...abuhbuhbuhbuhbuh(muttering)...food, clothing-
Clyde: Food and clothing are not part of the house. That's part of the, you know, daily life. I'm talking about the actual house.
Chris: (sigh) Okay, there's, uh, hardware like-
Clyde: What hardware? For what?
Chris: Like for roofing. For one thing
Clyde: Do your parents even own the house?
Chris: Yes, they own the house.
Clyde: Do they have a mortgage on it? Anything?
Chris: They do not have a mortgage on it.
Clyde: Oh, so they own the house. Legally. Interesting. Well, you got one thing going for you, you at least have a house. But I don't know, man if you can actually survive in it.
Chris: You are so quick to under- to undermine a person. And underestimate them.
Clyde: I'm not being quick to undermine a person. I'm thinking of what a family man should do, okay?
Chris: [Sudden awful family guy impersonation] Hey listen, Peter Griffin He's a family guy and he's retarded and yet look at his life! [Voice deepens into what is probably a horrible Homer Simpson impersonation] Homer Simpson D'oh!
Clyde: [Disbelieving] That's a cartoon. That's not real life. Not even the closest.
Chris: Yeah but it's based on the real life associated with the people who created them
Clyde: No it's not! You think Matt Groening's life is like Homer's life? Of course not!
Chris: [More awful Homer Simpson impersonation] Well I don't know if it's close my life, but I think it's close enough to be with my own life! And nobody better lay a finger on my son's Butterfinger! D'oh!
Clyde: What?! So are you saying that The Simpsons is exactly like real life?
Chris: I'm not saying that necessarily, but if they can survive it in their own way, then I feel I can survive it in my own way- at my own pace. And that uh- with the power of prayer, and god by my side, and my sweetheart, things will work out.
Clyde: Let me tell you something. Things don't magically “work out” Things don't work that way. The real world does not work that way.
Chris: I'm going to do the heavy work, and all the work associated with all that.
Clyde: Now now, I know you said you're going to be a house husband? Right?
Chris: That or I can go out and get a job.
Clyde: And what kind of job can you get? What do you qualify for?
Chris: If anything I'm overqualified!
Clyde: For what?!
Chris: Every- every type of job available!
Clyde: You think you can be the CEO of a company?
Chris: Hey, put me behind a desk and tell me what to do and I'll do it!
Clyde: The thing is a ceo tells people what to do. If you need something be told then you are not qualified to do that job.
Chris: I don't have to be- hey. I just need- hey if I am the one that needs to be telling everybody what to do then I have to find out what the company is about, and all things associated with the company, or whatever I'm the CEO of, and then I will give real thought, sound decisions and direction.
Clyde: What kind of job can you get within your degrees? What will your degrees get you?
Chris: If anything like a job my father had working at general electric. Like for example he designed the controls for the plastic molding machines so without him you would not have the plastic for your keyboard.
Clyde: Okay, so you think you can design some... something I don't know whatever you just said.
Chris: Hey without him you would not even have anything as simple as a plastic-
Clyde: [Interrupts] I'm talking about you, I'm not talking about your dad. I'm talking about you.
Chris: I'm sorry, what?
Clyde: I'm talking about you. What can you do?
Chris: I can do anything I am capable of, if I set my mind to
Clyde: [Exasperated] I am asking you what you are capable of!
Chris: I'm capable of a lot of things!
Clyde: I'm telling you to be specific!
Chris: I'm creative.
Clyde: God. You said you had that CADD, and you- and I asked you to send that, I want to see what you-
Chris: It takes- It takes creativity to create such things like I did in the CADD classes.
Clyde: Your CADD degree, right? You had that mall? I want to see this mall, I want to see if you're actually qualified. I want to see if you're actually qualified to get a job.
Chris: You want to see it, huh? Alright, give me a moment, I'll write the email for ya.
Clyde: You know my email. Gregg Mays with the Gs
Chris: Yeah I'm gonna send it to you from my Gmail address because it's a big file.
Clyde: Alright. If it's a big file it's probably better, isn't it?
Chris: Well that depends on your perception.
Clyde: [Laughs] Never mind. I'd love to see this though. Looking forwards to it.
[Intermittent background noise]
Chris: On it's way. Right now.

(16 Minute mark)

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