Jack Thaddeus
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Troll disclosure: This persona was created, appropriated, or otherwise used by trolls to manipulate Chris. He was not ADF, but instead a user pretending to be that person named CrassCrab. Though this identity is contrived, the CWCki may treat it as if it were a real identity because it was to Chris. (It's also funnier that way.) |
| “ | Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Networks accounts, you expert hacker! You, you ir—rational expert! Motherfucking burning-in-Hell hacker! | ” |
| Chris talking about Jack while humping his PS3[1] | ||
| Jack Thaddeus | |
|---|---|
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| Information | |
| Name | Jack Thaddeus Phillip Vincent Haskins-Delici Ahuviya Rotem Harel Isabel Rosa Araujo |
| Date of birth | August 12, 1985 |
| Also known as | CrassCrab JThadius JThadeus Felipe Delicias David Crass ADF |
| Gender | MALE Transwoman |
| Race | White |
| Nationality | American |
| Saga | PSN Hacking, CWCipedia, Calling Out |
Jack Thaddeus (often mispelled as Jack Thaddius by Chris), also known as CrassCrab (born 12 August 1985) is a troll responsible for various trolling schemes against Chris. He first gained notoriety for hacking Chris's PSN account and forcing him to perform many humiliating acts in order to get it back. After this, he was largely forgotten, until he started placing gay ads on the CWCipedia, which caused many rage videos from Chris and multiple phone calls between the two.
During the Calling Out Saga, Chris was tricked into thinking Jack was Ahuviya Rotem Harel, also known as ADF-fuensalida, a transgender communist lolcow. This sparked a brief fight between the two lolcows. Ahuviya is still commonly used to represent Jack.
PSN Hacking
In July 2009, Chris came in contact with a young woman named Samantha Thaddeus, and they quickly became friends. After gaining his trust, Samantha convinced Chris to give her his Club Nintendo and PSN accounts, shortly before hacking into the PSN account, just like two previous trolls. This enraged Chris, and he made a short video addressed to her, referring to her by her online username "oxycleanfanatic2264." Samantha refused to give the account back, and continued taunting Chris through emails.
This drove him insane, and he started spamming her inbox, sending her 108 emails all repeating the phrase, "God will reign down with a Vengance [sic] upon you until you give me back my Japan, Spain, Hong Kong, France and Germany Playstation Network Accounts." Eventually, Chris started getting emails from a man named Jack Thaddeus, Samantha's father. He challenged Chris to a duel, a showdown where whoever lost their virginity first would win. He claimed that he was a virgin, despite having a wife and daughter. Chris agreed to this deal, and said to Jack that he would have sex in the next week. Jack made more rules, telling Chris that it had to be a real girl instead of a doll, and that he had to recreate the sex act seen in ShecameforCWC.JPG. Chris agreed to both of these terms, but inevitably was unable to meet them, and resorted to other measures.
Chris started emailing Samantha, asking if he could hack into her email account. She agreed to these terms, but only if Chris would ship her a bottle of OxyClean. Chris agreed to this, but never actually did it. Chris then started emailing Jack, impersonating Samantha poorly.
| “ | Listen, Bro, I can dig Chrissy hasslin' u for his accounts back. I have da plan on how to REALLY mess with him. Give me back a couples of his account; that way he can't get them ALL from you.:D And besides that, he ain't hasslin' me as much now that he has YOU, da Bigger Man of This Era with dat Heavy Power. Besides, I am fondin' over his Creatures Classic I noticed he had; I'm a sucker for those space monkies. And I'll nix his French with my alt. address. :D LULZ LULZ LULZ | ” |
| Chris tries, and fails to imitate troll speak[2] | ||
Jack was horrified by Samantha's email, and asked if she'd been doing drugs or hanging out with "Maurice, Jamal & those other Niggers?" Chris ceased impersonating Samantha after this. Jack and "Sam" started talking about troll plots, including getting rid of Chris's welfare money by showing Rollin' and Trollin' to the "welfare people." Jack also talked about Liquid Chris going to the anime convention Otakon, and sent Sam a video from Liquid. Chris was angered by this video, and responded in REAL Protest against the FAKE, starting the now beloved Liquid Chris Saga.
Chris, as Sam, sent Jack an email asking to give Chris more time to lose his virginity, as it would be "unfair" to give him a strict time limit.
| “ | He's so retarded, that he needs LOOONG TIME to generate a GOOD Idea | ” |
| Chris, trying to get Jack to give him more time[3] | ||
Jack violently refused, not understanding Sam's logic. He then invited Sam to a secret troll IRC chat, which Chris entered under the pseudonym "Bill Riley".[4] Notable moments include Chris, pretending to be a troll, asking if trolls could force Chris to rape Rocky Shoemaker. Jack appeared in the chat, talking about his plot to get Chris to hump his PS3, mentioning that Chris had to make the video in 12 hours or he would report the PSN account and get it banned. After witnessing this in the chat, Chris actually produced the video, humping the PS3 for 8 minutes straight while repeatedly pleading to get his accounts back. Jack leaked the video on 4chan.
After the video was made, Jack refused to give the PSN accounts back, and also stated that he knew Chris was Sam. He then asked Chris to make another video, where he sings the song OK2BGay. Chris accepted this, but lashed out at Jack.
| “ | I'll do your song, but PLEASE, just answer this for me; WHAT was the ORIGIN of your Wanting to Troll the shit out of me? And DO NOT SAY, because I KILLED ANYONE, because I FUCKING NEVER HAVE; THEY KILLED THEMSELVES. What have I ever Done To You to make you Turn against me? WHAT THE FUCK?! | ” |
| Chris[5] | ||
| “ | I HAVE TO KNOW, WHY ME? WHAT INSPIRED THE DAMN TROLL FROM THE VERY START BEFORE NOVEMBER, 2007? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO WHO? And all Respective WHEN, WHERE and HOW QUESTIONS AS WELL?!
I HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW; WHY MY NAME IN THE MUD; THERE ARE WORSE AND BETTER PEOPLE THAN ME, EVEN AS OF 2004. IN THE LONGEST TIME AS WELL, WHAT THE FUCK?! |
” |
| Chris[6] | ||
Jack in response, asked Chris who the very first troll was, saying that it would answer Chris's question. Chris sent an email to both Katie Bay and LoveYouLongTime to try and get their help, but he never figured it out.
Chris made the video requested by Jack, titling it "It's UGH!," where he sang in a disgusted manner about it being okay to be gay. Jack was disappointed by this video, and asked Chris to sing it with more pride. Chris delivered this video, but wore an absurd disguise and added many anti-gay messages into the video. Jack requested that Chris remake the video again, but Chris never followed through, declaring that he did not care about the PSN accounts.
CWCipedia advertisements
In November 2009, Jack purchased advertising space on the CWCipedia. One banner ad linked to a gay rights website (noting that the creator and hero of Family Guy both support gay rights, and using the hated word "naïve"), while another advertised Mexican vacations using an anthropomorphic cactus mascot.
Chris was incensed by the desecration of his wiki and demanded that the ads be removed. Upon being told that Thaddeus was responsible, Chris declared "I'll deal with him myself." Whatever measures he took, though, they didn't do much good, because the original ads were soon joined by many new banners featuring pickles, homos, and other things Chris hates and fears. These ads would have stayed for a long time since Jack, a gentle and generous soul, rented all the ads-space up to the end of 2010.
Jack eventually leased some of the adspace to Mao, the webmaster of the Asperpedia. On 25 February 2010, this lease apparently concluded, and Jack filled the website with dicks.
Eventually, on 18 March 2010, Jack pulled all his funding from the site, forcing the Sysop to take the site down. It came back the next day under the rule of Mao.
Calling Out
On 16 August 2011 Chris claimed to have dox on Jack, and claimed that his real name was Ahuviya, that he lived in Pennsylvania, and that Jack is planning to have gender reassignment surgery (which he did in June 2018). He demanded a video of apology to be uploaded by Jack/Ahuviya by 10 September 2011.
The "Ahuviya" Chris is referring to is none other than Ahuviya Rotem Harel, a fellow lolcow. This information is unsurprisingly fabricated, though Jack and Ahuviya do have somewhat similar voices. Regardless, Ahuviya and Chris, despite the animosity between the two, share many of the same traits and characteristics.[7][8][9]
A week later, he revealed that "Jack" was a communist and into BDSM. It was at this point that Ahuviya responded to him, denouncing all the fake information Chris presented alongside his own lolcow-ness. Chris, still firmly believing the rumors, made another video with his usual homophobia. To this day, Jack Thaddeus is most commonly represented by ADF.
ADF vs CWC
Ahuviya, even before Chris's videos addressed to him was a ween, trying and failing to troll Chris. After the Calling Out videos, he made a number of response videos, reveling in the opportunity to get a rise out of Chris.
On 28 August 2011, Ahuviya uploaded his first video addressed to Chris. It is short, showing a rainbow on the streets of Philadephia, and mocking Chris for his homophobia.
| Why Philadelphia is so much Greater than CWCville | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 28 August 2011 |
| Performance Style |  Comedy,  Smug
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| Saga |  Calling Out
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Description:
| I rest my case |
Shortly after this, ADF made a longer video, in response to Re-Calling Ahuvia. He mostly dedicates it to discussing Chris's homophobia and transphobia, lecturing and mocking him on these topics. He repeatedly asks Chris to move out of 14 Branchland Court and come to Philadelphia. Chris responded to this video in Response to ADF.
| Advice for Chris-chan from Ahuviya Harel | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 28 August 2011 |
| Performance Style |  Tragedy,  Reason, Smug
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| Saga | Calling Out
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Description:
| This is my response to Christain Weston Chandler's recent videos deriding my Gender Identity and decision to transition to desired gender from assigned birth sex , a decision of many others that came before and to come after me as members of the Transgender/Gender Variant Community. He also continues to make false allegations that I am Jack Thaddeus and/or the party recently behind the recent hacking of the PlayStation Network that occurred this year.
I know there has been (and still ongoing) many efforts to try to convince Christian Weston Chandler (AKA Chris-chan) to change his ways and views. I decided a rather peaceful approach should be explored by not reasoning but just telling CWC straight advice, entirely unscripted and on the streets of Philadelphia, PA. CWC has called me out, threatening to release dox/information about me in two videos on 16 Aug. and 23. Aug. respectively (both which have been removed by YouTube Moderators for hate speech) I am doing this to make a stand against bigotry directed against Transgender, Genderqueer/Gender Non-Conforming, and Intersex people (and the wider Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Queer folks as well). I have no personal vested interest in starting an internet war. I personally have been there and experienced that several times over the years with other people and frankly do not want it again. Be speaking peacefully my say on these matters, this will put the ball in CWC's court and any further threats from Chris-chan after this video, he will be viewed and rightfully treated as the aggressor. To those who hold ill will towards me and want me to be silenced because I have a past reputation, I am not going to give your long-desired internet war between myself and CWC. However, if I have to end up involuntary involved and forced into another e-war because you hold Me, Ahuviya Harel (Formerly ADF-Fuensalida) and Chris-chan as both 'lolcows' and actually put serious effort (as in pulling yourself from the computer) to get at my person and harm me, I will also treat you as an aggressor no unequivocally different from Christian Weston Chandler and the people before you who have started prior e-conflicts against me. "Anyone, who truly wants to go to war, has never truly been there before!" - Larry Reeves |
Two weeks after this video, and a week after Bob's death, Ahuviya uploaded another video, running with a friend. While running, they both insult him and Christorical locations, along with hailing Michael Snyder as a hero in Philadephia in order to get Chris angry.
| ☭ A Moment of Zen, Chairwoman Harel and a Friend on CWC ☭ | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 13 September 2011 |
| Performance Style |  Rage, Smug, Comedy
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| Saga | Calling Out
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Description:
| See Chris, I do not sit on my ass and play vidya games
I get out and motherfucking enjoy life (Did this while on a Guerrilla Photography Run with a friend, Late August 2011) |
After this, he made another video addressing Bob's death. He says that he's sorry for Chris, shortly before bombarding him with insults under the guise of trying to improve him, saying that he was responsible for Bob's death. Near the end, communist music starts playing, before Ahuviya pulls out a communist flag in a failed bid to convert Chris to communism. Neither this or the above video were addressed by Chris, who was too busy mourning to respond.
| Commentary amongst the Dead, Robert Chandler R.I.P. | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 13 September 2011 |
| Performance Style | Reason, Smug
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| Saga | Calling Out
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Description:
| CWC Chris-chan deserves no mercy beyond this point
I kinda warned him not too long ago of this possibility about the parents dying and on September 6th, The Lumberjack passed away |
In the comics
Jack made his first full appearance in Sonichu #10 as the 4-cent_garbage building is collapsing. When Jason Kendrick Howell escapes, he condemns him and Clyde Cash for being homo trolls. When Beel escapes, he, too, condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing a innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler. With no option left, Clyde and Jack hold hands and together jump into the 66+6 story elevator shaft to their suicide.
Sources
 PS3 Hacking Saga
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People: Chris (JenkinsJinkies • Bill Riley) • Clyde Cash • Jack Thaddeus • Surfshack Tito • BlueSpike • Samantha Thaddeus • Katie Bay • Liquid Chris • PandaHalo | ||
| The Games: | The Prizes: | |
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| Coinciding Sagas: Clyde Cash, Julie, Tito, First Exile, Jackie, | ||
 CWCipedia Saga
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| The Players: | The Games: | The Prizes: |
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| Coinciding Sagas: Asperchu | ||
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