Kacey Call 6

31 August 2009

• Chris got some calls from a troll pretending to be from gamefaqs.com (Chris pronounces "GameFAQs" as if "faqs" is a word).
• Chris thinks he defeated a troll by calling him back and telling him to shut the fuck up.
• Chris's parents drop him off at the mall so he can draw comics while they go use their senior discount at Ihop.
• If Chris went to Ihop with his parents it would "mess things up" because they're using their senior discount to buy Chris sandwiches.
• Chris wrote a list of nice discussion topics because he doesn't want Kacey to yell at him again.
• First topic: Hannah Montanna. Kacey says it's for 12 year old girls, Chris thinks it's pretty good and wants to buy it on Blu-Ray.
• Second topic: Chris's college days. His first good memory is the time a hypnotist came and included Chris in his act.
• First the hypnotist wanted Chris to insult him, so Chris called him "Uncle Screwy Louie". He still thinks it's funny.
• Then the hypnotist said "when you open your eyes you'll see everyone naked". Chris didn't really see anyone naked, but he played along as smiled at the ladies.
• Another good college memory is when he was included in a quiz show game. Chris didn't make it very far, but at least he tried.
• Chris was in touch with his "girl crush" Kellie Andes for a while after graduation; recently he found out she's married with two children.
• Chris could tell by looking a prom picture of her that she was already taken by some guy, when he saw that it put him into shock for a while.
• Chris made a few friends and acquaintances at PVCC, "but they kinda came and gone", especially after he got kicked out of English class. He "became shy" after that.
• Chris talks about a teacher, or as Chris calls him "this one black guy" at PVCC, and how upon first being there he "had bad vibes about him". He picked almost as many arguments as his father!
• Chris says the teacher would constantly put him down and what-not, with mean insults like "That's not right, do it over bla bla bla"...
• Kacey points out that's not putting him down, that's teaching. Chris did not like his tone of voice. "The way he carried on and such."
• "He talked more calmly to the other students, I actually observed."
• Chris was happy to graduate from Piedmont, because "It felt more like a Hellhole than Heaven".
• Chris was sad to graduate from High School, because he didn't receive any awards
• He's still whining about not getting any awards; he got a star pin but "that's SMALL in comparison to other awards".
• Kacey tells him to stop being childish and grow the fuck up; Chris ignores her and whines more
• Chris watched Labyrinth because it's Kacey's favorite movie.
• Kacey talks about David Bowie's "bulge"; Chris gets uncomfortable and tries to change the subject because he is STRAIGHT.
• Chris "tried reading" Harry Potter but couldn't get into it. Also competition with Pokemon or whatever.
• Chris suddenly tard rages because a troll keeps calling him. He doesn't understand why he keeps calling after Chris told him to stop.
• Kacey asks what books Chris has read recently, he of course says Pamela Anderson's Star, then admits he hasn't read anything else.
• Kacey tells him he should read Catch 22. Chris thinks a "Catch 22" is a kind of "sexual touch".
• The only books Chris owns are Goosebumps and Fear Street.
• He also read The Giver, so he spends like five minutes recounting what happens in that book.
• Chris tries claiming that he has multiple personalities, Kacey tells him he's full of shit.
• Chris says he JUST NOW changed over to his other personality, so now he's Christopher instead of Christian. He is serious.
• "Christopher" says he only caught some of the conversation and doesn't know what's going on.
• Kacey tells him he might have a brain tumor.
• Christopher gives up and says he just switched back to Christian.
• Christian says "Christopher" came out recently while he was playing Guitar Hero. He thinks there is a difference between his two personalities' voices.
• Chris says he'll talk to his doctor about this serious problem.
• Kacey isn't taking his stupidity seriously, so Chris suddenly backtracks and says he just made up this multiple personality shit to mess with the trolls.
• Chris stopped taking some of his meds and now he feels more confident.
• Chris has been taking Lipitor for the last 2 years to keep his cholesterol down. He's like "It was optional, but I thought it was a good idea".
• Chris says he mostly eats grilled chicken sandwiches from McDonald's. He thinks this is healthy.
• He also only eats Hungry Man dinners "once or twice" a month, mostly he eats Healthy Choice frozen dinners.
• Chris says he walks about an hour a day around the neighborhood, and thinks this is "strenuous".
• Kacey thinks Chris is going to die.

External links

• mp3 of phonecall

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