Chandler Cats

“	I would like to state, I do not, quote unquote, "piddle my cats." I r- I, the only parts I touch on them are their back and their heads. Nothing more.	”
Chris, regarding molesting his cats

Trolls and dudes of all teenages love Desi Chandler.

Chris and his family have had at least eight cats over the years. Chris regularly slips in their shit. It is not known whether the Chandlers actually own the cats, or if the cats were unfortunate enough to get lost within the piles of junk and were therefore unable to find their way to the outside world. Currently, Lucy and Patches are still alive as of 2018. The status of the others is currently unknown, with the exception of Scamper, Pollo, and Sorbet who perished in the fire that destroyed the Chandler home in 2014, died of natural causes on 20 May 2018 respectively, and declared dead after running away.

Cats Currently Residing at 14 Branchland Court

Lucy

Lucy Chandler

Lucy is a cat named after Lucille Ball, the other star of I Love Lucy. It is not known when she became a pet of the Chandlers, although it can be said for certain that she was a resident of 14 Branchland Court by 25 December 2004, as she appears in ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1. Of all the cats that have resided in the Chandler household Lucy is the one who has lived the longest.

Chris once greeted Lucy during a voice chat with Sarah May, before Barbara told him to get off (before she goes off).^[1]

Lucy was confirmed to be well and alive as of 2013, thanks to a status posted by Chris that included a current photo of Lucy in the great 2013 Facebook leak. Lucy survived the 2014 house fire along with Chris himself, Barb, and Clover and Snoopy.^[2]

Chris posted a Facebook status on November 24, 2015 revealing Pollo, whom he introduces as a "new friend" for Lucy, confirming that she was still alive as of this date. This makes Lucy over ten years old, as well as the Chandlers' second longest-lasting known pet, after Patti. Lucy made an appearance in Chris's "Seasons Greetings" video on December 13, 2015, where she sat in Chris's lap throughout the video, but got down the instant Chris asked her if she loved him.

Patches and Sylvia

Chris's recent failings have helped CWCki gather more information for this article.
Be a winner by adding this information in.

From left to right: Liza, Patches and Sylvia.

Patches and Sylvia, along with Liza, are the 8th, 9th and 10th of the Chandler cats and as kittens, are currently the youngest of them all. They were a litter of feral kittens living out back of 14 Branchland Court, being fed by Chris. Patches was the first to come out and socialize on 30 October 2018. Upon discovery, he was taken to a vet for a checkup and be medicated for conjunctivitis on his left eye.^[3] Chris tried to scam people out of money by claiming that it would be used to buy medicine, which later turned out to have been in their possession all along.

“

We have two more kittens that snuck in as well, but they’re in hiding. 😸😸😸^[4]

”

Patches Chandler

Cats adopted out

Liza

Liza, one of the three kittens Chris took in during October 2018, was adopted out to a friend of his from The End Games, after The Captain arranged communication between them^[5].

Deceased and/or MIA Cats

Desi

Desi Chandler

Desi is a tabby named after Desi Arnaz (one of two cats named after the stars of I Love Lucy, one of the Chandler family's favorite TV shows). It is not known when he became a pet of the Chandlers, although it can be said for certain that he was a resident of 14 Branchland Court by 25 December 2004, as he appears in ChandlerFamilyChristmas Part 1. Desi also makes an appearance in Chris's future message. In a Facebook message sent on 30 January 2008, Chris mentions having five cats. If it is correct to assume that Chris owned no more cats than the five mentioned in this article, we can conclude Desi was still alive at the time. However, in an e-mail sent to Blanca on 19 August 2008, Chris mentions having only three cats. In an e-mail sent to Jackie on 10 April 2010, Chris gave the names of his three remaining cats,^[6] with Desi not being among them. Based on this info, it can be inferred that Desi was no longer a part of Chris's household since as early as August 2008. It is not known whether Desi died, ran away or was given by the Chandler family to someone else.

Scamper

Scamper Chandler

Scamper is the second of Chris's cats. Originally confused with Desi, Scamper was a black and white coated cat. In ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part 1, which was made on 25 December 2004, Chris mentions having two cats (Desi and Lucy). This suggests that Scamper was not yet a part of the Chandler household at that time. Clues from Sonichu #6 incidcate that he was most likely a pet of Chris by the time Patti's death (27 June 2006^[7]). Episode 12.5 features an alternate reality in which Patti does not die on 27 June 2006. When Chris's character in the comics goes to feed Patti on that day, he encounters Scamper along the way.^[8] It is not unlikely that this is a reflection of reality, meaning that Scamper was already in Chris's possession by the time Patti died. It can be said with even greater certainty that Scampers was already living at 14 Branchland Court by the time of July 2006, as Chris started making Sonichu #6 on that month.^[9]

Scamper briefly shows up during the infamous Tour of Christian's House, in which he pauses for a moment before going outside to talk to them before continuing on his way. Other than that, Scamper appeared in comparatively few videos compared to Chris's other pets.

Very little info about him exists, except that, like Desi, he was not house-trained and shat everywhere. An email sent by Chris to Jackie confirms that Scamper was still living at 14 Branchland Court on 10 April 2010, along with Kitty and Lucy.^[6] He showed up in Tour of Chris's House II. The precise date in which the video was made is not known. Chris's narration in the video suggest that Bob was already dead on the time, suggesting that the video was shot after Bob's passing at 6 September 2011.^[10]

Chris confirmed in February of 2016 that Scamper was killed in the house fire in January 2014. According to Chris, the cleaners found the body of the cat behind the toilet, dead from smoke inhalation. The Chandlers buried Scamper in the backyard and had a moment of silence, but Chris seemed very apathetic about one of his pets passing. Prior to this, it was unclear whether it was Scamper or Kitty who was killed in the fire.

Skittles

Skittles Chandler: Note the fang sticking out of its mouth

Skittles is the fourth known cat of the Chandlers and was approximately 21 years old based on accounts from troll field agents. Skittles looked like a half-dead lynx on crack.

Very little is known of Skittles or its gender, but given the name it can be assumed that it belonged to the Chandlers, as only someone batshit crazy or over the age of 50 would name a cat Skittles. Chris probably named it after his favorite candy (at least "Skittles" is more dignifying for the cat than to be named after a Sonichu character).

Based on the Jackie e-mails, it was presumed dead or missing in action by 2011.^[6]

Kitty

Kitty the demon-possessed cat

Cat number 5. Kitty seems to be the cat no one really seemed to care about, evidenced by the fact that she was simply named "Kitty". In ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part 1, which was made on 25 December 2004, Chris mentions having two cats (Desi and Lucy). This suggests that Kitty was not yet a part of the Chandler household at that time. According to Chris, Kitty was a good friend of Patti, the Chandler dog.^[6] Since Patti died on 27 June 2006,^[7] this would mean that Kittty was already a pet of Chris for some time prior to that date. An email sent by Chris to Jackie confirms that Kitty was still living at 14 Branchland Court on 10 April 2010, along with Lucy and Scampers.^[6]

Kitty made an appearance in Chris's tour of his house, and starred in the Captain's Log video of 20 December 2009, where it was revealed that this cat can be added to the long list of things that hate Chris. Chris believes that it is normal for cats to hiss at, bite, and scratch people who pick them up, which suggests that his other cats behave this way as well.

With Chris's confirmation that it was Scamper who died in the house fire, Kitty's status is unknown. It is unclear whether she died, ran away, or was given away by the Chandlers (unlikely, given her aggressive behavior), or when she left the Chandler household. All that is certain is that she was no longer in the Chandlers' possession by January of 2014.

Pollo

Pollo Chandler

Pollo was introduced to the Chandler Household on 24 November 2015. Pollo [ˈpo.ʝo] is Spanish for "chicken", although it is also a shortening of "Apollo". Chris pronounces his name "pole oh", probably in an attempt to sound British, although "pollo" is pronounced the same way in England as it is in the rest of the English-speaking world (also unintentionally referencing the British mints of the same name). His existence was revealed to the world by Chris via a Facebook status, which also confirmed that, as of November 24, 2015, Lucy is still alive as well. Pollo was referred to in the status as "Lucy's new friend".

In the "Seasons Greetings" video, uploaded on December 13, 2015, Chris states that Pollo is an outside cat. Pollo makes his first appearance on video in Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement. He seemed to be in good health and shows affection for Chris, nuzzling him a few times.

Pollo made his second appearance in Chris's Specimen Sample, still showing affection towards Chris. Viewers have noted the particularly large and loud collar he wears, and the fact that Chris attempts to get him to look at the camera.

He was featured in Happy Cat, Pollo *kiss* *kiss*.

Just after midnight on 20 May 2018, Chris tweeted that Pollo was dying, posting a photo of him wrapped up in a blanket and saying Pollo was having difficulty breathing. As Chris was broke, he made a plea for eBay sales money in order to afford a trip to the vet if Pollo survived.^[11]

Sadly, Pollo passed away by early morning.^[12] He had been over 15 years old, an old age for a cat, at the time of his passing and was buried next to Patti.^[13]

Sorbet

Sorbet Chandler

Chris announced on Facebook on 19 September 2016 that he had a new cat, which he named Sorbet ("sor-BAY") because the cat's orange color reminded him of orange sorbet, a frozen fruit juice dessert similar to sherbet. Sorbet was part of a litter of four cats whom the Chandlers had been feeding for several months prior to September 2016. Two of the cats "went elsewhere," though Sorbet and his sister (whom Chris called "Orange Cream" because of her orange and white colors) remained. It currently is not known whether or not Chris has taken in both cats.

Half of Sorbet's left rear paw is missing, appearing to have been cut off. Chris found an inexpensive vet to treat the wound and allow Sorbet to be able to walk better. Chris is currently keeping him in his bedroom, with Lucy there to keep him company. Chris has stated that the donations he had been receiving from fans has helped him to better afford Sorbet's operation.

Like Pollo, Sorbet seems to be considerably more friendly towards Chris, and seems quite happy with being held. Unlike Pollo, Chris actually pronounces the name correctly ("sor-bay").

Sorbet makes a brief cameo in Eid, Pmurt, Eid, where the camera angle towards the end of the video shows that he is being held by Chris as he kicks a Transformers toy in a fit of tard rage over Donald Trump winning the Presidential election.

Sorbet, in a photo taken a few months after the accident.

Sorbet wandered off and was hit by a car on 19 May 2017.

“

Sorbet was found today, by a neighbor. He had not returned home last night. Thank God I put my number on his tag. A neighbor found him, looking hurt, hiding in a gutter under their driveway. It took effort, and a water spray from a hose. We got him out; he suffered some head trauma; uneven pupil dialation, bruises and dings; some bleeding. Doctor said it looked like he was hit by a car. He's staying at the vet over the weekend for examination and bathing. Say a prayer for Sorbet in his quick recovery. We all love him. — feeling sad.^[14]

”

Uneven pupil dilation is a classic sign of traumatic brain injury, so it was speculated that Sorbet may not live for very long afterwards. Fortunately however, Chris did later confirm that Sorbet returned home and recovered from his injuries after a short stay at the vet, having been cleaned up and confirmed to still have his sight and hearing. However, Chris later released a video on the 29th of May where Sorbet is shown to have breathing difficulties.

Chris posted a photo of his cat Lucy for International Cat Day on 8 August 2017. Among Chris' followers, the lack of photos of Sorbet raised speculation of the cat's passing. To counter this claim, Chris shared a photo of Sorbet.^[15] He appears again in the videos of Chris watching the solar eclipse at the end of August, but his condition appears to have deteriorated -- his eye is very dilated and glossy and his breathing is painfully loud and strained. Despite his injuries and potential illness, he still attempts to show affection towards Chris, but his attempts at meowing come out as strained snorts and gurgles, indicating that he may have fluid in his lungs; whether this is a complication of the accident or an undiagnosed illness is not yet known.

On 17 May 2018, Sorbet was declared missing, as confirmed by Chris' Facebook posts.^[16] Just 3 days after Sorbet's disappearance, Pollo died of natural causes, leading to two losses for the Chandler household within a single week. Three months later, Chris confirmed with a Kiwi Farms user that Sorbet is officially dead. Like Patti Chandler, Sorbet's soul is cursed to roam Cwcville for all eternity.^[17]

Gallery

Kitty Chandler, so full of hate.
Lucy and Desi.
Lucy and Desi asleep in a pile of crap.
Desi and Snorlax.
Lucy.
Lucy with Chris in the "Seasons Greetings" video. Note her depressed expression.
Pollo in September 2016.
Lucy in September 2016.
Sorbet in September 2016.

Chandler Cats

Contents

Cats Currently Residing at 14 Branchland Court