Kacey Call 6

31 August 2009

• Chris got some calls from a troll pretending to be from gamefaqs.com (Chris pronounces "GameFAQs" as if "faqs" is a word).
• Chris thinks he defeated a troll by calling him back and telling him to shut the fuck up.
• Chris's parents drop him off at the mall so he can draw comics while they go use their senior discount at Ihop.
• If Chris went to Ihop with his parents it would "mess things up" because they're using their senior discount to buy Chris sandwiches.
• Chris wrote a list of nice discussion topics because he doesn't want Kacey to yell at him again.
• First topic: Hannah Montanna. Kacey says it's for 12 year old girls, Chris thinks it's pretty good and wants to buy it on Blu-Ray.
• Second topic: Chris's college days. His first good memory is the time a hypnotist came and included Chris in his act.
• First the hypnotist wanted Chris to insult him, so Chris called him "Uncle Screwy Louie". He still thinks it's funny.
• Then the hypnotist said "when you open your eyes you'll see everyone naked". Chris didn't really see anyone naked, but he played along as smiled at the ladies.
• Another good college memory is when he was included in a quiz show game. Chris didn't make it very far, but at least he tried.
• Chris was in touch with his "girl crush" Kellie Andes for a while after graduation; recently he found out she's married with two children.
• Chris could tell by looking a prom picture of her that she was already taken by some guy, when he saw that it put him into shock for a while.
• Chris made a few friends and acquaintances at PVCC, "but they kinda came and gone", especially after he got kicked out of English class. He "became shy" after that.
• Chris talks about a teacher, or as Chris calls him "this one black guy" at PVCC, and how upon first being there he "had bad vibes about him". He picked almost as many arguments as his father! Chris says the teacher would constantly put him down and what-not, with mean insults like "That's not right, do it over bla bla bla"... Kacey points out that's not putting him down, that's teaching. Chris did not like his tone of voice. "The way he carried on and such. He talked more calmly to the other students, I actually observed."
• Chris was happy to graduate from PVCC, because "It felt more like a Hellhole than Heaven". Chris was sad to graduate from High School, because he didn't receive any awards.
• He's still whining about not getting any awards; he got a star pin but "that's SMALL in comparison to other awards". Kacey tells him to stop being childish and grow the fuck up; Chris ignores her and whines more.
• Chris watched Labyrinth because it's Kacey's favorite movie. Kacey talks about David Bowie's "bulge"; Chris gets uncomfortable and tries to change the subject because he is STRAIGHT.
• Chris "tried reading" Harry Potter but couldn't get into it. Also competition with Pokemon or whatever.
• Chris suddenly tard rages because a troll keeps calling him. He doesn't understand why he keeps calling after Chris told him to stop.
• Kacey asks what books Chris has read recently. He of course says Pamela Anderson's Star, then admits he hasn't read anything else. Kacey tells him he should read Catch 22. Chris thinks a "Catch 22" is a kind of "sexual touch".
• The only books Chris owns are Goosebumps and Fear Street.
• He also read The Giver, so he spends like five minutes recounting what happens in that book.
• Chris tries claiming that he has multiple personalities, Kacey tells him he's full of shit.
• Chris says he JUST NOW changed over to his other personality, so now he's Christopher instead of Christian. He is serious.
• "Christopher" says he only caught some of the conversation and doesn't know what's going on.
• Kacey tells him he might have a brain tumor.
• Christopher gives up and says he just switched back to Christian.
• Christian says "Christopher" came out recently while he was playing Guitar Hero. He thinks there is a difference between his two personalities' voices.
• Chris says he'll talk to his doctor about this serious problem.
• Kacey isn't taking his stupidity seriously, so Chris suddenly backtracks and says he just made up this multiple personality shit to mess with the trolls.
• Chris stopped taking some of his meds and now he feels more confident.
• Chris has been taking Lipitor for the last 2 years to keep his cholesterol down. He's like "It was optional, but I thought it was a good idea".
• Chris says he mostly eats grilled chicken sandwiches from McDonald's. He thinks this is healthy. He also only eats Hungry Man dinners "once or twice" a month, mostly he eats Healthy Choice frozen dinners.
• Chris says he walks about an hour a day around the neighborhood, and thinks this is "strenuous".
• Kacey thinks Chris is going to die.

Transcript

This media needs a transcript. Help CWCki by transcribing the content. If the media is too long, transcribe select portions which are funny or informative.

External links

• mp3 of phonecall

⇐ Kacey Call 5

Kacey Phone Calls

Kacey Call 7 ⇒

    Chats and calls