Kacey Call 22

Highlights

• Chris went to a couples relationship class--alone. He talked about the trolls.
• Kim told Chris to make a Sonichu costume, Kacey agreed. Chris doesn't want to because ignoring phone calls and drawing Sonichu is too much work already. Yes, that's his actual reasoning.
• Chris got an e-mail from Target telling him they will not be hiring him. He says he has been calling Target and asking to speak to the woman who interviewed him anyway. She has not returned the calls.
• Chris sells Guitar Hero and Rock Band guitars on eBay. The buyer is a man from the Czech Republic whose daughter is named Regina.
• Chris says he is OK with being molested as a child if it's a woman touching him, but if it was a man he would "kick his ass."
• Chris says that he is "loose on rape" because he "has never personally been raped."
• Chris talks for a few minutes about how he finds Meg hot and how he "would tap that." Kacey points out that Meg is fat - Chris says he considers her "average." Immediately after Kacey calls Meg fat, Chris says that he imagines Meg being 30 pounds lighter than Kacey. He doesn't seem to notice that this is insulting and directly implies that Kacey is overweight until she points it out.
• Chris says he ignores any homosexual part of Family Guy because "other aspects are enjoyable". He gets pretty angry when Kacey keeps talking about how Family Guy is pro-homo.
• Chris knows far too much about Family Guy, going off and listing episodes where people act straight by individual season. Funny, considering he has no idea what a parody is and reveals earlier in the conversation he has no concept of the show's humor.
• Chris stopped drinking various types of soda because he started to associate them with gay people, but watches Family Guy despite its pro-homosexual creator. Kacey tells him this is a double standard - he ignores her.
• Kacey says that no gay man would ever be into Chris because he's not clean enough. This actually upsets Chris. She then asks if gay people have ever hit on him before. He says over the Internet it's happened. Chris claims he's been hit on a few times by girls back in middle school, ever since he left high school it hasn't happened because every single woman is taken by a guy already.
• Chris says that he has good fashion sense.
• Kacey says that the idea of being a "house husband" will make girls think that Chris is gay.
• Kacey says it's OK for women to be a stay-at-home parent but not men. Chris lets out many stress sighs.
• Kacey says Chris needs to be more manly. Chris takes this to mean that he needs to take male hormone pills.
• Kacey tells Chris to go clean his room and says she has to leave.

Video

Kacey Call 22
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Stardate	???
Featuring	Chris; Kacey
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Audio Recordings
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Chris: Hello?

Kacey: Hey, Chris, it's Kacey. How are ya?

Chris: Hey, Kacey, I'm OK. How are you?

Kacey: I'm good. So whats uh, up with you? I mean, I haven't talked to you in awhile, I have been so busy.

Chris: Yeah, I kinda figured that. Yeah, a lot has been going on. Umm... Where do I begin? Shoot, when was the last time we talked? (Hearty laugh)

Kacey: A couple of days ago.

Chris: A couple of days ago... Mmm... Alright well, OK well, I guess I'll start with something good, yeah? Uhh... Yeah, yesterday I took my uh, over to the first of uh, my uh relationship management classes. I think I told you about that?

Kacey: Uh huh.

Chris: Do we, I signed up for that class, I am saying I took the first one yesterday. I took the first one yesterday at, I guesstimate or, or, say the day before yesterday. No. It's after midnight, it's not Monday, it's Saturday. Anyway, yeah, Saturday morning I went to my first class and uhh, it, it was good. Uhhh, learned that first step in a matching your relationship is learning about yourself so... So uh mu-, so it was basically was three of us. I mean a teacher and uh, and another student woman named Elizabeth about-

Kacey: Well, aren't those classes for people that are actually in relationships?

Chris: Uh, not necessarily, it could be considered, I mean, I mean, I was single and I was able to sign up for it.

Kacey: Well, but I mean, I mean they are not going to discriminate but... don't they teach you material that goes after the relationship?

Chris: Um, uh, they gave us some material even before the relationship, like, you know, how to talk, how to uh... how to so-, how to better socialize and uh... talk to woman and whatnot. It's sorta like Dating Education.

Kacey: Mkay. So what have you learned?

Chris: Mmm... Yeah, I learned, yeah I learned a little bit. Uh... I learned quite a bit... Mmm... Yeah, it seems like s-, although it was like, although, you know like, I have had coping classes before in middle and high school so this one was kinda similar to that one in a way, in a few ways. We did a few, we did a few worksheets filling in a little bit some information about uh, ourselves. Our teachers did workshe-, did our, did our worksheets along with us. A total of five people signed up for the class, but uh, but ya know three of them didn't make it. So... it was just like three of us Saturday, anyway, yeah...

Kacey: Well, I mean, what kind of things were on the worksheets?

Chris: Um... Yeah, you know, like, uh... you know, like a one or, a few, a, yes few little, few questions like, you know, like, like, you know, you could rate how good you feel about yourself or uh... or how are seen, or like you see, or you know how people see us a good friend, or if you a little bit of confidence, err, if you have a little confident or even a few questions that were like in reversed this morning, like do you, do you know, do you sometimes feel lonely or sometimes doubt yourself. But anyway, but like, in a possible 30 so, and I got 27. The teacher and Eliz-, the teacher, her name was Wandea. Yeah, Wandea and Elizabeth they each, they both, they each got 29 our of 30. Yeah, I mean, it's just a couple of things like sometimes like, I did have lonely nights um...and, like, you know, I have a few concerns about how other people see me, you know, like people over the internet, you know, some like me, some don't like me, so-

Kacey: Yo-, you didn't talk about the trolls, did you?

Chris: Yeah. Only a little bit... I mean I did not go into details, just, you know, I had a bunch of people badmouth me, so... Yeah, was just basically it was a contribution with that, but yeah, wasn't them, eh, this wasn't about the trolls anyway. Uh, I talked enough and we also, like, you know, anyways, like, you know, when we evaluate ourselves we need to essentially... It was like we were accentuating on the positives, so... you know, a know, an, on, among the other two worksheets we talked about, like, you know, uh, summin-, like, you know, you filled in what each of us liked... a, our likes and uh, dislikes and uh... about like, and like uh... what we would like, what we would like to be or what we are l-, what each of us are looking forward to... Yeah, and then, and then in the future classes we'll be learning about uh... how to better communicate with uh, other people... and uh, and the like,... and associating, co-

Kacey: What do you think this class is going to do for you?

Chris: Yeah, I think it'll, I think it'll help me uh,... maybe, I think it'll help, I think it'll help me feel a little bit more confident about myself, maybe, and uh, give me more, give me more things to, give me a better understanding of what to say when I talk to uh, women, when I talk to women in public or... Well, you know that sorta thing.

Kacey: Well, you know confidence comes from within. A class can't give it to you.

Chris: Uh, yeah, but ye-, yeah, before uh, 'fore... Yeah, I mean I'm not sure, I mean, but I'm... I think it's fairly obvious that for a while I've had like uh... quiet, quite a bit of low self-esteem.

Kacey: Hm.

Chris: Yeah... Hm. Anyway, I think a-, I think after, I think after these classes I'll uh, feel, I'll feel a little better about myself and I'll feel more confident and uh, ma-, and possibly better socialize in my adult life and...feel better about appoint-, approaching women and talking to th-, an' talking to them...

Kacey: [sigh] OK, well, anything else about the relationship class?

Chris: Hm. Only that, like, you know, we're hoping that the other three students will co-, will, will, will, we'll, we'll be seeing them next class.

Kacey: OK.

Chris: That, and that uh, the next class will be on the uh, 24th of October...Oh, and also I learned that, like, you know, you know the relationship class is one thing among the uh, Parks and Recreation program here in Charlottes-, in Charlottesville...Uh, yeah, but also I got a calendar of events, apparently there's like a little Halloween party over at the uh, Key Center near the Downtown Mall, so I'll be, so I'm probably going to that. Not sure what I'm going to dress up as, though. And uh-

Kacey: What did you say was going on in October, I'm sorry? For the class?

Chris: Oh. I said that the last class will be on October 24th, and then I got a calendar of events... wi- I th- learned there's going to be a Halloween party over at the Key Center dear the Downtown Mall, so I'm planning on going to that, but I'm not sure what I'm going to dress up as yet.

Kacey: Oh, OK.

Chris: Yeah, Kim's, I talked to Kim about that a little bit earlier. Uh, she suggested I make up a Sonichu costume, but I don't se-

Kacey: I actually was about to suggest that. I mean why not?

Chris: Yeah, I mean I-

Kacey: You can stretch your creative muscles.

Chris: Yeah, well, I'm just not sure about uh, wanting to make a costume at this time, but you know-

Kacey: Well, but what better way to promote it and show that it's yours?

Chris: Yeah. OK, but... Yeah, anyway, I just, it depends on how I feel and I'll think about it further and iffan, if I decide to make the costume, I will.

Kacey: Well, I mean w-, you should be more driven to do these things. I mean obv-, or obviously Sonichu is not that important.

Chris: Well, Sonichu is important...to me. Just I got so many fat-, factors in life I, you know-

Kacey: I know, but this is gonna be great PR!

Chris: Like, you know, I got, I'm going to try s-, trying to socialize in real life, for one thing, and trying, and another thing trying to not think about the trolls and keep my distance from the computer, so I don't have to listen to them and ignore their incoming phone calls... [sigh] Lotta stuff. But yeah, I'm still working on the comics and the uh, CWCipedia and all that. Oh, I got, and also the uh-

Kacey: Oh, and how about your room? You still working on your room?

Chris: Yeah, I'm still working on my room.

Kacey: You should send me some pictures of progress.

Chris: Yeah, OK, I will. Yeah, by the way, also I uh, called up uh, Target earlier today uh, try-, tried looking for... Melissa, one of the two women who interviewed me. Uh, she wasn't in, so I a, so I left a message asking for her to call me back. I should probably hear from her on Monday or Tuesday... Uh, today or tomorrow. Depends on-

Kacey: OK, well, good luck with that.

Chris: Depends on when she comes in, you know?

Kacey: Definitely. Um, do you think you got the job? 'Cause I don't think we've talked about it since it actually happened.

Chris: Well, yeah, I mean I think I felt that I did good at the interview and that uh, I feel... that I left a good impression on hm... and uh, I felt the sense of a... and uh, feeling, like, you know... and perceiving me as a friendly-type person... but... and as for, but, you know, but I had somebody else ahead of me in the interview-wise. Uh, any-, uh, so... I'm hoping I, I hope, I'm hoping I got the job, but uh... I'm just uh, having doubts, especially since, like, you know, uh, last Friday an email, rece-, I received another email from Target saying, like, you know, "Yeah, we don't have any positions open for you yet." I think I, I'm not sure I, er a, if I told you or Kim about that email. But anyway uh, but anyway, I call Target today and I'll find out uh, from Melissa Mon-, today or tomorrow.

Kacey: OK.

Chris: Yeah... Oh! Somethin' else goin' on. You know I put my, I put my uh, Fender, my Meatwad Shredwad Fender Stratocaster and my second PS3 Gibson guitar on eBay, and I sold them both to the same person in the uh, Czech Republic uh, yeah, I mean uh, you know, the uh, Stratocaster sold for the askin-, for the starting bid of $29.99, but I mean, but for the Gibson guitar, I mean I started at $19.99...Anyway, all the way up to $69.99...

Kacey: Oh, well, cool!

Chris: Well, that's ju-, I guess that just shows you that Guitar Hero is definitely more popular than Rock Band. Heh heh heh heh heh!

Kacey: [forced laughter]

Chris: Hn. But anyway, uh, yeah, uh, so, yeah, I talked to uh, the g-, I talked to the uh, dude at, his name was Walter...

Kacey: Uh-huh.

Chris: ...in the email. Yeah, he said that, like, you know, he's got a dot-, he's got a daughter who's going to a university in Virginia, so he'll wire the mon-, he'll wire the uh, money to her and then uh, you know, in person exchange of uh, the m-, of the guitars for cash... And-

Kacey: Oh! Oh! That's good. You don't have to pay shipping. That's good.

Chris: Yeah, but anyway uh, so anyway I talked to her, anyway I talked to her a little bit. Her name is Regina...

Kacey: Uhah.

Chris: And apparently she goes, she's going to uh, the University of Virginia, um, majoring in philosophy...

Kacey: ...Oh, I guess that's great...

Chris: Yeah. Anyway, yeah, um, I sent her another email, you know, telling her a little about myself and gave, gave her my uh, headshot...let her know what m-, what I look like in the face.

Kacey: Oh, yes, so she can identify you.

Chris: Yeah. Uh, I still have a, I mean I checked my email earlier today. Uh, she hadn't replied yet, but, you know. Uh, she just started over at UVA and, so she's been, so she's been busy with uh, with homework and whatnot.

Kacey: Yeah. You know how college is.

Chris: Yep... Oh, and I w-, oh, you know, a couple of other things on my mind. Uh, I watched the uh, watched the, I watched the wahoo(?) local Fox News earlier. You know we have a cute bear, you know we have cute bear? We have, like, three bears running around, shrunning around Charlottesville area? Uheh. Heh heh heh! It was like momma bear and her two cubs. Anyway, last Friday, they went up a tree across the street from this uh, Barville Firewood Middle School, and then uh, and then aft-, they went down, after they got down from the tree that Friday night, they went across the street to the parking lot at that school and they hung around that school for the weekend and then they just left tonight and the funny thing is the b-, that the school's mascot is a bear. AND THEY WERE VISITED BY THREE BEARS!

Kacey: [forced laughter]

Chris: Haheh heh heh heh heh heh! Yeah. Anyway, anyway, no major damage. The bears, the bears were just visiting. Now they're over in uh, over somewhere in uh, Lore-, Loreville, something like that around here. Um, yeah. Anyway, gargle-, anyway, so the bears are another place now. Hm. Oh, and uh, another piece of news I heard about uh, cute, oh, yeah. Roman Polanski. You know that, you know him?

Kacey: Yes.

Chris: He directed the Piiiiaaaanist? Yeah.

Kacey: Mhmm.

Chris: Apparently, he was convicted years ago of drugging and having sex with a thirteen-year-old girl and he finally got arrested for that-

Kacey: Oh!

Chris: He was hiding out in h-, he was hiding out in Europe to get away from that. They finally caught him and arrested him...

Kacey: Well, you...

Chris: Yeah. I felt like he, I felt like he deserved that after what he did, I mean drugged and did that-

Kacey: Oh, yeah, I think child molesters should be burned alive!

Chris: I agree... Wait a minute. Well, not burned alive, but, you know-

Kacey: Well, no! I mean look what they're doing, I mean they're touching someone who doesn't want to be touched. They're invading their personal space, and not only that, it's a child who can't defend themselves. I mean it's not good at any age, but it's even worse when they're children. I mean, like, why would you do that to someone, especially if you didn't know they wanted it? That's horrible!

Chris: Yeah, that is horrible. Hm. But, yeah, you said "burning," I mean that, I mean... too many-

Kacey: I'm sorry. Those people have no souls, and I don't care what happens to them as long as it's painful, because what they did to that child will never go away and, so they need as much pain as possible.

Chris: Yeah, I mean, yes, it is appropriate to punish them, but uh, you know, I wouldn't exactly say "kill them."

Kacey: Well, no, you'd do it slowly. You know, maybe, maybe let them recover, and then do it again, because I mean... come on. What happens if you have Crystal, and someone does it to her? Don't you think you're going to want to kill them? Don't you think that you're going to want them to suffer?

Chris: Yeah, I, I would feel the need to make them, I would feel the need to make that person suffer.

Kacey: I mean I don't want to think you're defending a child molester.

Chris: Yeah, I'm not, I'm not personally defending the child molest-, I'm not defending the molester. I, I'm just saying that, like, you know, no need to kill him. Hu-ur-hu-

Kacey: Well, what do you think we should do?

Chris: Like, you know, yeah, he should definitely go to jail and serve his time, and maybe, like, and, like-

Kacey: Why, so he can get out in five years for quote-unquote good behavior, so he can do it again?

Chris: No, not, no, I mean, like, sentence him for, like, yeah-

Kacey: Like, pedophilia doesn't have a cure.

Chris: I would say twenty, I would say sentence him for twenty years.

Kacey: Twenty years is worth- NO! All the pain that person's going to go through, you think raping someone, especially a child, is only worth twenty years!? The m-, pain they're going to have to go through is only twenty years!? Shouldn't it be life!? They took away that person's life, altered it for the rest of their life. Shouldn't they be in jail?

Chris: Ur- Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Twenty years to life in jail. Yeah.

Kacey: No! Not twenty years to life! They- they're useless to society. I mean how would you feel if someone touched you?

Chris: If it was a woman, I would accept it, but if it was a dude, I'd slap it, I'd, I'd ki-, I'd, I'd kick his ass.

Kacey: No! No one should touch you if you don't want it, period, dot, the end, especially not when you're a child. Whether a man or woman, doesn't make it right.

Chris: ...Yeah. I hear you on, I hear you what, I hear what, I hear you. I was just uh, saying, since you brought up the question... Eh, I was just, I was just making sures-, specifying the uh, yeah.

Kacey: I, it doesn't matter, I mean [exasperated sigh]. It sounds like you wouldn't care at all, I mean that, I can't believe that. Just because it's a woman? OK, when you're little, that doesn't matter. 'Cause rape is rape. We're n-, we're not talking about consensual sex, we're talking about rape-

Chris: Yeah, I, I, I, yeah, yeah, I understand we're talking about rape. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I mean I'm just, I'm just a little bit loose about it right now, because, you know, I have never personally been raped, and uh, [talking over Kacey] and uh, if it is, I mean it does not happening right now-

Kacey: Well, yeah, I mean if you haven't been molested, that doesn't mean that it doesn't happen to other people.

Chris: But, but, I'm j-, na-, a, bu-, ye-, I'm just saying, but, yeah. It's like, it's like, yeah, I would definitely uh, be offended, and I would uh, want to make sure that person got life or uh, or something more appropriate-

Kacey: Yeah, I mean, like I said, I know you've never been molested or raped or anything, but you've got to try to see it from their point of view.

Chris: Yeah... Yep! Their point of view... Yeah, I w-, yeah... I would definitely be of-, I would definitely be offended and not-, and hurt. I would want that person...to be sentenced to life and imprisonment and jail and all that.

Kacey: Exactly! 'Cause I know it's never happened to you, and I know no one's molested or raped you, but if it happened to you when you were little, wouldn't you want them to be locked away? I mean wouldn't you feel fear if you knew that person was still out there?

Chris: Yeah, I would be scared if I, if I knew that person was still out there.

Kacey: So you should be thankful that you've never been molested or raped when you were a child.

Chris: Yeah, I am thankful fo-, I am thankful for that.

Kacey: I mean, or even now. It doesn't matter how old you are.

Chris: Yeah... Yeah... Hmm... Hmm... Mmkay, well, aside from that uh... Aheh. Heduh, hah, I went back to thinking about the bears. Heh heh heh heh!

Kacey: [forced laughter] Yeah! Going from that to bears, I guess. I don't see a logical way, but OK! [laughs]

Chris: I, I was thinking about the comic for a little relief. Heh ha. Ah, a little comic relief. It's fun... Hm... Anyway, I'll wa-, alwee-, also, anyway, earlier tonight, I watched the uh-

Kacey: But why don't you care? I mean you're just going back to bears. I mean this actually bothers me because these are things that, as a nurse, I'm going to have to deal with.

Chris: ...Yeah.

Kacey: I mean this stuff happens every day. I mean go to a darkness to light website, look at it... I mean people-

Chris: Lotta bad stuff.

Kacey: People a-, children are molested by people that they trust whether it's family members or um, people in power, like, in schools, or doctors, or just random people-

Chris: I hear you. I hear you... Yeah, I hear you, but I mean uh, I was just trying to uh, lighten things up after we've been talking dark for the past couple of minutes, for the past few minutes.

Kacey: But that, but it's life, Chris! You can't just block out life!

Chris: I'm, I'm not blocking it out.

Kacey: Yeah, you are. You don't want to talk about bad things. I get it. That's not very mature.

Chris: OK, well, I mean, yeah, I me-, yeah, I mean it is necessarily, necessary sometimes to uh, talk about dark things. It's not like we have to talk about them all the time.

Kacey: Well, we're not talking about them all the time. It just came up. You're the one who brought it up.

Chris: I mean j-, I mean I was just bringing up, like, you know, that the Roman Polanski finally got arrested for it.

Kacey: OK, well, then talk about something else.

Chris: Yeah, uhnkay... Hn. Earlier tonight, I watched the, I uh, watched the uh, the season premieres to the uh, t-the uh, series premiere, the uh, first episode of The Cleveland Show, the new Family Guy, and American Dad.

Kacey: Oh! How did you like them?

Chris: Well, I enjoyed them, although I liked The Cleveland Show and uh, Family Guy episodes more than I did the American Dad episode. Uh, it was just like uh-

Kacey: Oh. Well, I don't really watch them anymore. What did you like the best? So, um, yeah, tell me any highlights.

Chris: Yeah. Yeah, I w-, I'll...From The Cleveland Show, I mean, like, you know, yeah. Cleveland got his spin-off show now and uh, heh... And you know he's, I just thought it was good, yeah. You know, he uh, moved to his hometown in Virginia aft-, after his house in Quahog was taken by Loretta after the divorce was finally finalized. And uh, Cleveland Junior is fourteen years old now. I mean, if you watch the uh, classic Family Guy episodes, it'll show Cleveland Junior being little rascal. Heh-heh...

Kacey: Right...

Chris: Yeah. Yeah, but anyway he's, anyway, he's fourteen and fat. C-, uhh, Cleveland Junior is...

Kacey: Mhmm.

Chris: They moved to, they mo-, they uh, moved to Virginia... uh, even though their original plans were, they were gonna go California to uh, realize the dream of managing a, of uh, scou-, of uh, being a s-, on scout for a baseball team from California. And they turn around as they, and they end up moving, end the episode uh, to turn around and go back to Virgina, because Cleveland found his high school sweetheart, and uh, and she ha-, and she, yeah, with this uh, other dude that h-, that pretty much stole her from him uh, from him, but uh-

Kacey: Well, um, tell me about Family Guy, at least. I mean, Cleveland Show: whatever; I liked Quagmire better. I thought he'd be uh, you know, a better show.

Chris: A'ight, but-

Kacey: An-

Chris: Aya mean Cleveland, Cleveland-

Kacey: I, I at least know something about Family Guy, so tell me about the Family Guy episode.

Chris: OK. OK, well, I mean Cleveland was from Family Guy and this is a spin-off from Family Guy for Cleveland.

Kacey: I-I know, but I don't really care. [scoffs]

Chris: OK.

Kacey: So, go ahead and tell me about the Family Guy episode.

Chris: OK, well, they did another, they did another "Road to" mo-, episode for Family Guy for the sixth released season premiere. They call it "Road to-

Kacey: [sarcastic] Oh, how original! [laughs quietly]

Chris: Uh, not really, not...I mean, you know, they done "Road to... E-," "Road to Rhode Island," "Rhode to Europe-"

Kacey: Yeah, that was sarcasm, but go ahead.

Chris: And then, and then they did "Road to Germany" as well. Now they did uh, "Road to Multi-di... to Multi-dimension." They went to different dimensions, Setu-, Stewie and Brian did.

Kacey: Uh-huh.

Chris: An' then, yeah, they been, Dertrollafintfro dimensions, like, you know, they went, their first destination was, like, as if Christianity never existed, so the Dark Ages was skipped and everybody is, was advanced a thousand years... And uh, apparently, like, you know, they had developed a pill that actually gets rid of AIDS. Like that. And Meg, and Meg is-

Kacey: Well... But that doesn't even seem plausible, because there are plenty of places in this world that weren't touched by Christianity. But still...

Chris: Yeah, anyway. Oh, they a-, and they also... ga-, also gave Meg a shiny moment. They made her... hot. Heh!

Kacey: Agh... Meg will never be hot, not even in that one episode where she was blonde. It's Meg.

Chris: Uh, non I, I mean she was, like, even hotter this episode.

Chris: Well, I enjoyed them, although I liked The Cleveland Show and uh, Family Guy episodes more than I did the American Dad episode. Uh, it was just like uh-

Kacey: Wow! Did they totally remake her character?

Chris: Pretty much recreated her body style, yeah, only thinner, but, you know-

Kacey: Well, I mean, I'm talking about her face. Her face, you know...

Chris: Yeah, her face does stay, stay a little bit of the same, but her body was different-

Kacey: Oh! So she was a butterface!

Chris: A butterface?

Kacey: Yeah. Everything is nice, but her face?

Chris: Hm. Oh, her, I mean, it's, like, you know, her face is a little, I mean...Yeah, her face stayed the sa-, face stayed the same. I mean, that's Meg... And she-

Kacey: Exactly!

Chris: But I mean, her body. Her body was different this time. Made her a little bit taller, gave her a 36D-cup boobs. Heh! Put her in that, put her in a pink tube top and denim sh-, miniskirt, gave her tall boots, ma-, and made her hair grow long-

Kacey: So basically they made her an ugly whore...

Kacey: Because her face stayed the same. [laughs]

Chris: No. No-no-no.

Kacey: That's what it sounds like! All they did was change her from the chin down, so she just became a butterface whore. Good for her. [laughs]

Chris: Well, actually, uh, in that dimension she's still the ugly one by comparison and uh, Stewie made the joke, saying, like, you know, if uh, Brian would still look at Lois, he would have to uh, he would have to put his dick in a wheelbarrow. He carries it off in a wheelbarrow... I know, I mean I d-, I didn't really, I mean, it's, like, you know, I naw-, I wa-, Dawshna-, I not sure if I got that myself um... But, you know, I thawaspozu, that was a joke there.

Kacey: [fake laugh]

Chris: You find, I'm sure you can find the clip on YouTube now.

Kacey: I'll, I'll, I'll um... I'll look, but I mean uh, it's just a cartoon, you know. [laughs]

Chris: Yeah... Hm. Anyway, other, anyway, among the, among dimensions aside from that one... Yeah. They a, they did, they went to another dimension. They we-, among the uh, dimensions, another one, another one I liked. They uh, went to another dimension where is like everything was drawn by Disney. And they put, and they put Lois in Snow White's outfit.

Kacey: Oh.

Chris: And uh, is was like, it was just, it was jus-, iwasjus, iwasjus, hawasjuz, it was just fun to look at that Disney rendition. Hehe-heh!

Kacey: Mmhmm.

Chris: It just, it just, like, just made the, you know, made the characters a little and more near... more realistic in the facial expressions and all that. 'Cept for, like, except for the Disney version Meg, of Meg, they made her like Ursula from the Little Mermaid.

Kacey: Hahaha! That so fits her!

Chris: Um... I mean, I felt that that was downright... I mean downright bad, but, you know-

Kacey: No, she fits the jealous sea hag.

Chris: ...Hm. ...Hm. ...Whatever, anyway, she's still Meg, but they made her... fatter but they gave her, they gave her Ursula's tentacles.

Kacey: Well, yeah, I would think so, but I mean don't whatever me, because I mean, come on, it's true, Meg is the character that is always dumped on. I mean, of course she's going to be like that. They make her such a wimpy little... whiny emo kid anyway.

Chris: [long pause] OK, well, I will not argue with you on that. In general, though, she's still a likable person and I just... feel sorry for her for being picked on like that like, you know, why? I think she looks good.

Kacey: W-wait, why do you like her so much?

Chris: I don't know. I think it's like, one thing, uh...

Kacey: I mean, is Meg like your ideal girl? ...I mean, even though she's a cartoon.

Chris: Well, I mean, at least she's like, a human character.

Kacey: But that's not what I'm asking you. Is she like your ideal girl?

Chris: Well, I mean, add a year to her because last time t-

Kacey: Well, no, I'm not talking about her age. I'm talking about how she looks.

Chris: Yeah, I d-, I would, I mean, I mean just kind of the looks... buuut, if I didn't think about the age too much... yeah, I would tap her. I would do that to her.

Kacey: OK! Because I mean, you know... you're pretty, um... into people's weight, and she's kind of fat.

Chris: I, I mean, I'm, I'm, I mean I'm into, uh... I am into thin women as well, but I mean like, you know, you have to figure out today's society... I mean, I'll take a, uh, a woman who's uh, slim to average, body type.

Kacey: Well, Meg is... extremely not average. She is, um...

Chris: [tries to interrupt] Well, no, no, not that-

Kacey: ...beyond average. Yes she is!

Chris: She's average.

Kacey: No, she's not average!

Chris: I think she's average.

Kacey: [laughing] No, she's not average, Chris. That's the whole point of her.

Chris: OK, well, look, compare her body, her original body, to Peter. Now he's fat. And then compare her to Lois-

Kacey: Chris! It's a joke about Megan's character! She's supposed to be the fat little dumpy geek chick.

Chris: Well, I mean, I'm just, I'm just letting you know. I do not think she's fat. I think that her body type is average.

Kacey: OK. If she were a real person, how much do you think she'd weigh?

Chris: I would say she would probably weigh about... somewhere between... 145 and 160.

Kacey: So you think I would weigh more than Meg.

Chris: [pause] I did not say that.

Kacey: Yes you did. You say that... you think that I weigh 190 pounds.

Chris: I did not say that you weigh 190 pounds. I said-

Kacey: Yes you did. Oh, yes you did.

Chris: Well... OK, well, OK, maybe I did, when we were talking in the past conversation. Mm... but I, but... I did not mean to insult you. I mean, we were just talking about Meg.

Kacey: OK, yeah, but her character is made to be bigger than mine. She has no curves, she's blocky... I mean, come on, Chris. That's just kind of insulting. I guess you just can't get that kind of humor as well. I guess you just don't get the show.

Chris: I do get the show. I just, uh-

Kacey: I'm surprised you watch it. Because I heard that Stewie is openly gay now.

Chris: Well, I'm saying, I'm taking it... I'm ignoring that fact. I mean, I don't care, it's still a good show.

Kacey: It's part of the show. I mean, that's just part of the show, Meg's just part of the show too, but... heh, anyway.

Chris: I mean, I do, I just, I mean... I just basically ignore those parts. I ignore those homosexual parts.

Kacey: Mmhmm.

Chris: I mean, there's some, I mean, there's so many other aspects in the show that are still enjoyable.

Kacey: Well, if it's just a joke, why wouldn't it be enjoyable?

Chris: Well, there's still, there's still a lot of good, adult humor in there.

Kacey: Well, I mean, if Stewie went from evil genius to gay. So... I mean, obviously the creator of Family Guy is okay with a homosexual life style. I mean, he's supporting it.

Chris: N-not necessarily. He's definitely putting in straight points as well. He's definitely emphasizing the straight. I mean... [long pause] I mean, Quagmire bangin' a bunch of women, Cleveland had Loretta, Joe has Bonnie, and of course Peter has Lois. And he made Chris go out in se-season seven with... oh shoot, that blonde that high school that bullied Meg... Connie. He m-, he let Chris go out with Connie DeMico. And also made hi-, also let him have a crush on Barbara, in that early episode. That was season three.

Kacey: Mmhmm.

Chris: Yeah, but, anyway, and also, like, and also that... and also that same episode, that southern Dixie girl. Dixie: D-I-X-I-E. Just wanted to make sure that I... I understood that, that's what I said. And then there's the episode where they moved down south for a while.

Kacey: Uh-huh. Oh, the one that looked like a boy?

Chris: Yeah.

Kacey: Right?

Chris: I... I like... I mean yeah. At first, gave the appearance of being a boy, but in reality was a girl. [pause] And then there was, there was the episode where... where mine was... yeah, it was the, yeah, uh, the episode where, uh, Adam West was trying to distract everyone from the Diggum(?) statue scam by, uh, banning homosexual marriage in Quahog.

Kacey: Yeah, that was a joke. That he totally supports homosexual lifestyle. That was a joke.

Chris: [stuttering wildly, trying desperately to interrupt]

Kacey: That was a parody. A real parody.

Chris: W-w-anyway, going back to the... going back to Chris, uh... g-go out with that girl, he was trying to impress in that episode. So... and also, you know, that Meg was tr-, was try-, w-was flirting with th-, with the boys. And actually Meg went out with a few boys in a few episodes.

Kacey: Well, it just seems like the show has gone downhill, but you should really look up the creator's political views. Because he... definitely, definitely is very liberal and he definitely supports a homosexual relationship.

Chris: Well, I'm not judging Seth MacFarlane's opinion on that. I mean...

Kacey: You judge everyone else's. You... told me yourself that you weren't drinking, I don't remember which soda it was, because of that, so why would you watch Family Guy?

Chris: I liked Family Guy since the beginning!

Kacey: And you liked the soda too! And Family Guy is doing more to push a homosexual lifestyle than that soda was. He is furthering his pro-homosexual agenda through the show.

Chris: Look, I tol-, I toldja I turned the channel when they show those homosexual scenes.

Kacey: Buuut... OK, you, you're being shown homosexual scenes, but you won't drink a sooooda over something that you can't see.

Chris: [long pause, sigh]

Kacey: I mean, you can't have double standards.

Chris: OK, well... I think I've established this before, but... yeah, I do not... I do not care about the homosexual lifestyle... and I am, I am willing to associate... I mean in like, uh, in a like, uh, be friends with homosexuals. But-

Kacey: But then why would you stop drinking a soda over it then?

Chris: I would not want them to get too close to me.

Kacey: Trust me, they would not get too close to you. Number one, you're not a gay guy's type. They like people who... dress a lot better... um, and, you just wouldn't be the type. Um... let's see here. Second off, they know who's straight and who isn't, and trust me, they're not interested in straight boys.

Chris: Um, yeah, that's honest-

Kacey: They're very into... a very polished, handsome look.

Chris: Well, I don't care, I, um, well I mean, OK, well, you don't have to tell, you don't have to tell me about from their point of view, I mean, uh, I don't care about from their point of view, I mean-

Kacey: I'm just telling you they wouldn't hit on you, they wouldn't want you. So you have nothing to worry about.

Chris: Well, I mean, uh, OK, well... OK, well, I guess I-

Kacey: According to gay people, you wouldn't be good enough for them. They are out of y-your league.

Chris: Good, I would not, I would never want to be, I would never want to be that way with any of them anyway.

Kacey: Exactly! So it's fine, because you'd be a step down.

Chris: Wait, I'd be a what?

Kacey: Uh, to them, you would be a step down.

Chris: A step down?

Kacey: Yeah.

Chris: I'm not sure, I, I feel, I feel like, uh, that's, uh, I feel like that's some sort of an insult right there.

Kacey: I'm just saying you aren't gay people's types.

Chris: OK, well, still, I-I mean I understand that, but I'm just saying, a step down? It just sounds like an insult to me.

Kacey: OK, well, that's the thing. It's like, gay people wouldn't hit on you. Don't be insulted unless you want them to hit on you. I mean, have they ever hit on you before?

Chris: Over the internet, I have-

Kacey: OK, well, that's just over the internet. But the thing is, trust me, they're not going to hit on you in real life. I mean, saying you won't get close to them is insulting to them. But I'm just trying to reassure you that it's not going to happen.

Chris: Yeah, OK, well, I mean, I-I understand that, and I appreciate that, but I'm just letting you know that a step down sounds like an insult to me. I mean-

Kacey: OK, don't worry about it unless you want them to hit on you.

Chris: [tries constantly to interrupt] I mean, I mean, I mean, OK-

Kacey: You should be happy they feel that way.

Chris: Well, OK, I'm talking about, you know...

Chris: ...if a homosexual thinks, if a homosexual thinks that I'm a step down, how does that make me feel about how women would see me in that sense? Women.

Kacey: Ah, you see, maybe... maybe you should think about that, 'cause like, women like polished guys, too.

Chris: Yeah, but I mean, like, you know, if you're saying that homosexuals think I'm a step down, that sounds like, to me, that sounds like, you know, women might think I'm a step down.

Kacey: OK, but ju-, we're talking about homosexuals, not women. Two different things. I mean, you're acting like you want gay people to hit on you. I mean, women and gay people aren't the same.

Chris: OK, well, OK well, I did, I did not mean to imply either of those. I'm, I'm just saying. [pause, followed by a sigh] I mean, still, I mean like... I-It would be, it would be insulting to me if women said I was a step down to them.

Kacey: Well, we're talking about homosexuals, not women.

Chris: Uh, OK, well, I'm changing the subject over, I'm just chang-, I'm just chang-, I'm just saying how I feel if women called me that.

Kacey: OK, but it has nothing to do with that and I didn't say that. I mean, do you think women think that you're a step down? Is that what this is about?

Chris: Uh, for a while, I have been getting that impression.

Kacey: Well, maybe you should change that. What do you think that you could change about yourself to make you not a step down? I mean, have any women hit on you in real life?

Chris: Uh... yeah. For a-, yeah, a few, a few, a few times back in, like, high and middle, about middle and high school. And, uh, but ever since I left high school and, uh... [pause] Yeah. Like, every woman's already taken. And that's why, that's why I feel-

Kacey: Maybe they're just saying that. I mean it is a nice, polite way to let someone down. I mean, if you think that you're a step down for women, what do you think you could do to change yourself? What do you think is so, um, bad that they don't want to be with you?

Chris: Well, yeah, well, I mean, one thing definite, one thing I'm sure of, and at least I'm working on it to improve it. You know, my... my buddha belly. At least I'm exercising more often to put, to take that down. Trim down there.

Kacey: Well, I mean, what about your personality? I mean, a lot of women do go for personality.

Chris: Um...

Kacey: You think there's anything in that you can change?

Chris: Yeah. Like, I could be more confident.

Kacey: Maybe it's also the way that you approach women.

Chris: Uh, by that, and by that, I also mean less shy.

Kacey: Right.

Chris: Because, because like, for a long time in my sweetheart search, I have been shy. Hmm. Ah, let's see, what else... I mean, I mean, I dress, I dress OK. I wear solid colors.

Kacey: Solid colors doesn't mean anything. It's all about the cut of your clothes. But, um, anyway, like, I guess, do you get nervous with women? Like, maybe that makes you mess up.

Chris: [pause] Yeah, 'cause sometimes I, uh, just feel like, I mean like, you know. I mean... yeah. Obviously, I did, I did, I have not gone out with women that much, so, it's like... You know. And I'm wanting to go out with women. [stutters horribly] ...Having the mindset of like, you know, being friends first. And, uh, I thought-

Kacey: Most of the time when you're friends first with a girl, you're in the friend zone, and you're screwed.

Chris: [pauses, then sighs] Yeah, I know-

Kacey: I mean, women usually know within... five minutes whether they're going to date somebody or not.

Chris: They know within five minutes.

Kacey: Yeah, they know they're going to be attracted to that person or not. Like, if you immediately get in the friend zone, you probably don't have a prayer. Maybe you should go do some more things, like, the relationship classes are a great start, but...

Chris: Yeah... yeah, but, I mean, in general, in general, I do consider myself a friendly person. Since like, you know, sometimes I feel like, uh, when I'm stressed, I can be defensive. And, uh, yeah, when I, there's the nervousness there, yeah.

Kacey: Mm-hmm.

Chris: And other things. I'm thinking, I'm thinking, uh... Yeah, I try not to, I try to keep my voice in a calm tone, not raise it. Um-

Kacey: Well, it's gotta be something else. Do you get, maybe, um, I don't know. I mean, girls like a manly man. Do you think you're manly enough? I mean, are you manly or more effeminate? Because sometimes soft voices can be more effeminate.

Chris: I-I'm sorry. I didn't understand that last statement.

Kacey: It, you mean, you have a soft, quiet voice? Girls could see that as effeminate and that you don't have any real power. I mean, 'cause girls want a nice guy, too, but they also want a guy. Like, an actual guy guy.

Chris: Oh, yeah, well, I mean, yeah, I do feel like, I am a man. And I am sometimes manly.

Kacey: Well, a girl wants a guy that's manly all the time. They want somebody that's gonna be able to protect them, that they're going to feel safe and secure with.

Chris: [pause] And I, and that characteristic, uh...

Kacey: I mean, you seem to need a woman more than they need you. Like, you tell them you want to be a house husband, they're gonna laugh at you, they're gonna be like, "Oh my god, you're not a guy!" They're going to assume you're gay.

Chris: Uh, that's stupid.

Kacey: It's not stupid, I wouldn't want a house husband. I would want a man, I would want a husband. I mean, I would like him to help out with housework and everything, but I would like to be on equal footing. I would want somebody who would protect me.

Chris: I would protect you. Um, I mean, I would protect you or any woman that I know. I... I would, I seriously would!

Kacey: Yeah, but I mean, but if you say you're going to be a house husband, that doesn't really give that idea. Plus, you know, you would have to be fit and menacing, you know? It, it's just, you know... Girls are going to, uh, you know, they're just going to judge that, because I mean, most house husbands are mostly married to another husband.

Chris: Ugh...OK, well, I guess I should, uh, find a new term meaning to like, you know, I would, instead, not house husband, but I mean... like you know, well...

Kacey: Like, a girl's going to want you to get a job and be the man. I mean, come on, even you should know this just from Christian principles.

Chris: Yeah, I, I have, I have that general understanding.

Kacey: I don't know, you don't sound like you do.

Chris: I do.

Kacey: And, I mean, these days couples have both people working. They're on equal footing. It's wonderful.

Chris: Yeah, but I mean, there are-there are couples where the woman goes to work and, uh, the husband stays home and takes care of the things at home.

Kacey: Yeah, well, how many do you think there really are? I mean, 'cause that's not very big. I'm going to tell you that right now.

Chris: Well, I, I mean, yeah, I agree, I will not argue with you on that. I, uh-

Kacey: And most of those men have more effeminate personalities. Or they get divorced really quickly. I mean, they could, most of them, probably bisexuals at least.

Chris: [sighs] I guess one thing I would definitely need to improve on is to become, to become more manly.

Kacey: Definitely.

Chris: Uh, I wouldn't even know where to begin on that. I mean, I have, I have watched horror films and, uh-

Kacey: Horror films aren't going to do anything. Everyone dies in those. Like, go watch football, go try to hang out with other guys, I mean, be more aggressive with the trolls. And if you can't even deal with them, you can't deal with anything else. I mean, get rid of anything girly you have, 'cause that's not going to help you. I mean, 'cause wives cheat on girly men because eventually they're going to want a real man. They're not going to want someone who has My Little Ponies in his room.

Chris: Hmm...

Kacey: So that's another thing. I think that you should go take pictures of your room, I wanna make sure you're actually making progress. Because this is what you need to be doing. Definitely.

Chris: Yeah, OK. Hmm. Uh, let me ask you though, do you think it would be a good idea, I thought about this before... male hormone replacement pills?

Kacey: Why do you think you need them?

Chris: I don't know, I mean, I just figured it's a possibility. You know, I might need to, I might, I might need more male hormones in me, I might, I might not have, I might just, I mean like, I co-, I'm probably on equal footing between male, between my X and Y chromosomes.

Kacey: Well, it has nothing to do with your chromosomes, it has to do with your hormones, estrogen, and testosterone. But either way, go to the doctor, because you might need to get tested. I actually know someone who has to take more testosterone, and it'll take care of some things. So, you need to go do that because that might be a great idea.

Chris: OK, wait, I'm sorry, I did not understand. Uh, what was that? Get tested for what?

Kacey: Uh, to see if you have low testosterone? Because that may be, that may actually be a problem and that would be a good thing. I think you should do it. I think you should go talk to your doctor about it.

Chris: Testosterone test... Alright. I'll talk to my doctor about that.

Kacey: [pause] But yeah, I think that's a great idea. I mean, 'cause then you could get strong and do you think trolls go after strong people?

Chris: Yeah, I do not, I do not think trolls would not, I do not think trolls would not go out after strong people because strong people would be a l-, they wo-, they trolls would feel intimidated.

Kacey: Exactly, they go for the weak and helpless, you need to stop being weak and helpless. You need to be stronger and manlier, so I think you should talk to your doctor about this.

Chris: Yeah, OK.

Kacey: Anyway, you should probably go Google it, so I'm gonna let you do that, go take some pictures of your room, do what you need to do. I've got to get up for school in the morning, so I'm gonna go.

Chris: OK, alright, well, also I wanted to let you know, you know, if you have any troubles of your own on your half, you know, I have, I will, I will always have an ear open for you.

Kacey: Oh, thank you! I'll be sure to, uh, to um, keep that in mind.

Chris: Yeah, you just keep that in mind. Alright, I wanted to remind you of that. I, I, I was reminded of that earlier tonight.

Kacey: OK, well, thank you so much, and um, I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Chris: Yeah, I'll talk to you tomorrow. You take care.

Kacey: OK, bye.

Chris: Bye-bye.

[Call ends]

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