Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey

Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey is a three-part series of videos that was leaked out onto the internet on February 21, 2011 by one MiHiVidz on Youtube. The series showcases the long-lost phone conversation between Kacey and Solid Chris on 10 November 2009 that led to Kacey severing all connections from Chris, the marriage of Liquid Chris and Kacey the following day, and the resulting video in which Ian tried not to cry over losing his potential sweetheart.

Part 1

Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey, Part 1
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Stardate	10 November 2009
Featuring	Solid Chris; Kacey
Saga	Liquid Saga
Audio Recordings
previous First	next Part 2

Chris: Hello?
Kacey: Hi, Chris. It's Kacey.
Chris: Oh, hey Kacey.
Kacey: I-I got Kim's e-mail, she said to call you?
Chris: Yeah. Yeah, we need--yeah, uh, I feel like we need to, uh, talk, you know, sort out what happened the other night. Yeah, I did not mean--I did not mean to ignore you, and I was aware you were there and I'm sorr--I'm sorr--I wanted to call you guys back.
Kacey: [speaks over Chris] Well, you didn't really...act like I was there, I, like, I'm pretty sure you just straight-out ignored everything I said.
Chris: [makes a strange grunting noise] Yeah, yeah well let me talk about that. You see, uh, I have, uh, what--one of my problems is that I have tunnel vision. You know, it's like, uh, when, like, you concentrate on one thing and you're pretty much set until its done. And, uh, and Chris was--
Kacey: [speaks over Chris] It--It--It doesn't matter, it made me feel like Chris is more important than I was. You were more concerned about what he was saying even though you think they're lies, than what I was saying even though I'm saying the truth. I mean, it's like, it's like you wanted him more than you wanted me.
Chris: Kacey...That's not true. That's not true.
Kacey: But--But I mean, if you have tunnel vision shouldn't your tunnel vision have been pointed at me and not him?
Chris: Yeah, you see, another one of my flaws is, uh, when I get really stressed my mind tends to blank out and my problem solving skills, uh, pretty much, uh, temporary [sic] go down the toilet there. And...it just blank up and it justs really blanks me out, and, don't--
Kacey: I know, but what's very important to me is that I have someone who can defend me, you weren't even defending me at all, you were just screaming at him. I need someone who's quick on their feet. I mean, did you realize how much I was hurt last night?
Chris: ...Yeah, I realize how much you were hurt, um, I'm very sorry about that, I real-I realize what a heel I was.
Kacey: Alright, but did you really realize that, or did someone have to tell you that?
Chris: Nope, I realized it. No one had to tell me. [pause] I did talk to Kim about it, though.
Kacey: Well I know you talked to Kim, she's the one who e-mailed me.
Chris: ...Yep. But, anyway, Kacey, I do love you. I really do. I'm very sorry I ignored you.
Kacey: But, you haven't even tried to contact me until Kim told you to! I mean, how can you say you love me or care about me, and you were just going to, like, okay, I was so hurt, and I, I mean, what would you have done, I mean, if you didn't talk to me? I mean, I could have just gone off and done whatever, you would have been out of sight, out of mind. You couldn't even send a simple e-mail. I mean, it's like you didn't even care that I was hurt or crying or anything.
Chris: No, I di-I did care. I just, uh, I was under st--I was under the shock, too.
Kacey: What shock? There was no shock!
Chris: You know, realizing what a heel I was and how hurt you were...and that made me feel hurt. You know? 'Cause...
Kacey: Then, why didn't you try to contact me? You would think you want to if you hurt someone you, um, supposedly love.
Chris: Yeah, you're right, I should have, yeah, I should have contacted you sooner. I just feel I-I thought--
Kacey: You were too busy playing video games again, weren't you?
Chris: No, I just thought--I just thought that you might need your spa--you might need some space, you know?
Kacey: Yeah, 'cause I'm hurting so you're just going to let me hurt all alone, or-or-or worse, in your opinion, you were gonna let me be with Chris, I mean, what did you think was gonna happen? I mean, you were playing video games today anyway, don't lie to me, I know you were.
Chris: Okay, I played some video games. I played some video games.
Kacey: See? Those are more important than me, too! How the heck are you supposed to have a girlfriend if you can't even talk to her unless her friend tells you to do it? You're just going to sit around and play video games all day, like, I could be hurt or sick or something, and you wouldn't know because your video games are more important.
Chris: No, Kacey, you are more important. And if I- [Chris begins to speak, but Kacey interrupts]
Kacey: But you're not acting like it at all.
Chris: Yeah, maybe I'm not acting like uh guh, m-maybe I'm not giving that impression right now. But Kacey- [Chris is interrupted]
Kacey: Or ever.
Chris: But Kacey, please believe me. You are very important. Because you are kind, caring woman. And you mean a lot to me. And I would really be hurt if something happened to you. And I will defend you. I really would. (Chris mumbles incoherently here)
Kacey: But you never listen to me. You don't act like it. These are all just empty, meaningless words to me right now.
Chris: Yeah, y-I-I do listen to you.
Kacey: No you don't! You haven't stopped eating McDonald's, you haven't gone jogging, you still play video games, you still ignore me. Name one thing that you do listen to me about. ONE thing.
Chris: I did listen to you, on the fact that I should not go to McDonald's. And I have- (Interrupted)
Kacey: But I know you've been eating at McDonald's.
Chris: Yeah, I, uh, well, um, okay, yes, I was eating at McDonald's for a little while.
Kacey: Yeah, and it's all fast food, you still go to fast food, I know you do.
Chris: *stress sigh*, I, okay, I have not gone to McDonald's for over a week.
Kacey: Or ANY fast food.
Chris: I have not gone to any fast food, have not eaten the fast food, for over a week.
Kacey: Then what have you been eating? What did you eat tonight?
Chris: I have been-I have been eating mostly TV Dinners.
Kacey: Like what?
Chris: Like Michelina, or Banquet.
Kacey: Have you looked at the nutritional values of those? Most of those are like, 300% sodium. That's just as bad, if not worse, because sodium can be just as bad as fat. Why don't you freshly prepare some food? I mean, even getting something at a deli is better. You should be making meals, you said you could cook. Or was that a lie too?
Chris: ...I can cook.
Kacey: Then why don't you?
Chris: Because I-because I don't have the individual ingredients at the time.
Kacey: (incredulous)...Then go buy them.
Chris: And I will. I'm going to buy the individual ingredients to make- to make da better food.
Kacey: Why haven't you already? I mean, if you can't even take the initiative to cook your food... I mean, why haven't you done this throughout your life?! Like, you're just lying to me again to make yourself look better, but I know you're never going to do it! I know you're not.
Chris: I am. I am going to do it. I am going to do it. [long, awkward pause] I have been working on making myself better. I have been going out jogging.
Kacey: Yeah, like, for like, what? Five minutes? I run five miles, 2.5 at the... least. I mean, you should be able to jog at least two miles by now if you were even trying. And you don't listen to- [Chris tries to speak over her, saying "I am trying."] me when I'm trying to tell you I'm worried about how you're probably losing muscle mass or anything. I mean-
Chris: I do- I listen to you and like... I-I-I really ap'riciate your concern, but that concern makes me think, and it makes me act... Truly.
Kacey: That's- I mean, I saw those videos when you were trying to lift lemonade... Those weren't fifty pounds. I mean, that's not even a workout, anyway, that's not even balanced. Get some real weights. I mean, that's just gonna hurt you, 'cuz you're displacing the weight. [pause]
Chris: Yeah, I'm going to get a pair of fifty pound weights...
Kacey: Either way, it shouldn't have been that hard, I mean, you shouldn't have struggled with something that was like what, five, seven pounds?
Chris: Okay, well maybe I- Okay, I exa- I exa- I likely exaggerated when I said that they were each fifty.
Kacey: That's a huge exaggeration! That's a big difference!
Chris: They felt, like, more than twenty pounds apiece.
Kacey: Kim said they were ten pounds. I'm not even sure if it's that much.
Chris: Okay, well... okay, I-I do not claim to actually know how many pounds one of those actually is...
Kacey: Then you shouldn't have.
Chris: But, it felt like at least twenty.
Kacey: No it's not. I'm looking it up on Google right now and it says around eight, ten pounds. I mean, it's just simple math and conversion.
Chris: Okay, well...
Kacey: I mean, how hard is it to look it up, so you don't look stupid?
Chris: Yeah, you're right, I could've- I could've looked it up. I just didn't- I did not think about that. I did not think of that. One of my faults, sometimes I don't think of everything.
Kacey: Yeah, do you ever think, cause I'm starting to think you don't, because you've been making a lot of mistakes lately. And... it's really, really, making me think. I mean, I'm tired of the excuses.
Chris: Yeah, I'm ti- I, I don't like excuses either.
Kacey: Then why do you make them all the time? That's all you ever do.
Chris: Hmm. Okay, maybe- okay. I have made some excuses in the past.
Kacey: You make a lot of excuses in the past. You make any excuse, you ever do, it's always "I'm working on it," or "I'm thinking about it," like, whenever you say stuff like that I know it's not going to get done. I mean, that's really bad, when... I already know you're not going to do anything by the words you say. You're just gonna continue to make excuses. You left me alone for several days after you heard how upset I was! The hell? You really think I want a boyfriend like that?
Chris: Yeah, you ta- yeah, you would not want a boyfriend like that. But, I ca-yeah, I mean I have, I realize that...
Kacey: Exactly, so, you see what I'm saying. Right?
Chris: Yeah, I understand... what you are saying. And I could be better, and I am willing to improve.
Kacey: Sssomehow, I don't really think you're going to.
Chris: I am going to improve on that.
Kacey: Well, you haven't yet, so... why would I believe you now?
Chris: [long silence] Okay, you have every right to question that, but... please believe me, I mean, ya know, one thing that- ya know, I would be, I would be glad to be there for you, but... I don't know your address.
Kacey: That doesn't matter, you should be able to be there for me otherwise. You haven't earned that address. I mean, is that really all you've got? I mean... and after that comic, how wo- why would I want to give you my address? You're just going to shoot Chris or me anyway!
Chris: I, I promise you, I would not shoot anybody for real. I do not even own a real gun.
Kacey: Doesn't mean you couldn't get one, I could get a gun and I don't own one.
Chris: I do not, I have no intention on getting a real gun in the near future.
Kacey: I mean, but it's so easy to get guns, do you remember the Virginia Tech shooter? It's easy. Doesn't matter, all you need to do is get mad again, then you'll just ignore me anyway.
Chris: I promise you that I would not ignore you in the future, even when I get- even when I get... riled up, and angry and [mumbling], I would not ignore you.
Kacey: I don't know, you've ignored me enough, don't you think it might be a little too late? I mean, that comic really scared me, I mean, I'm pretty sure... you shot him in the comic so he couldn't follow and take me back. I mean, that's just creepy. That's psychotic. That's delusional.
Chris: Yeah. I, I agree with you, that... I may have some issues to resolve with Chris. Like, you know, I definitely should... like, you know, try... to sit in front of him... and discuss things, calmly...
Kacey: You think he's gonna do that after he saw that comic?!

Part 2

Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey, Part 2
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Stardate	10 November 2009
Featuring	Solid Chris; Kacey
Saga	Liquid Saga
Audio Recordings
previous Part 1	next Part 3

Chris: Yeah, I mean, obviously he definitely has other skeletons in his closet-
Kacey: This isn't about him; this isn't about him. This is about you. And I'm tired of you talking bad about him.
Chris: OK, yeah. I don- I don't like talking bad about people, but-
Kacey: But you do all the time!
Chris: Well, only... just, only- ok, well.
Kacey: Tell me again why you think you're better than him. Go ahead.
Chris: Because I'm- because I'm loyal.
Kacey: You're not very loyal; you haven't called me. You're not very honest; you lie to me all the time.
Chris: Because I tell you- I tell you everything I'm- from my heart. And [when] I tell you I love you, I mean it.
Kacey: That's lying. You can't even send me a simple email to make sure I'm OK. Like, I don't think you get how hurt and angry I am, so no, I want something that you're better at him at that is real, because your lies come from your heart too.
Chris: [Stuttering incoherently for a rebuttal] Ok, I have made the mistake of lying at-
Kacey: A lot.
Chris: A lot, a lot, but a lot of the things that I have told you, in the past, were true. I swear, I have told you a lot of truth like you know, like when I tell you about myself on the kind of person I am, those are true. And how I feel about you, that's true, too.
Kacey: How do I know that?
Chris: And my hit-
Kacey: How do I know you're not just ready to drop me, because it's easier, or something stupid?
Chris: Because... we started out as friends, and I in-
Kacey: That's right, friends.
Chris: Well, hang on, hang on! We started out as friends with the possibility of a relationship, and I would like a relationship.
Kacey: How would we start off as friend with the possibility of a relationship? You lied to me the first time you talked to me.
Chris: OK, I did the things-
Kacey: You pretended to be my boyfriend, my fiance.
Chris: OK, I did pretend to be Chris. But that was in the case, to let you know, that he was who you- he was not who you thought he was. You know, he was- He was pretending to be me.
Kacey: He wasn't pretending to be you! This is what I don't get. Stop saying he's pretending to be you. Just 'cause you guys have the same name doesn't mean he was pretending to be you, because you two are two totally different people.
Chris: OK, yes, we are two totally different people, and I can list the whole number of things that I am and he's no- that he's not that he claims.
Kacey: Whatever, I can list the whole things he does that you can't. He can play guitar. He doesn't lie to me. He jogs with me. He does stuff with me. He doesn't sit around and play video games. He has a job. He has a college education. He goes to school. I mean, wh- the hell? I mean, c'mon. Do it, do it. Sho- Tell me. Tell me what's he's not doing and I bet you I can refute everything.
Chris: [stutters, then sighs]
Kacey: So you don't have anything, do you?
Chris: Well... okay, well, I can definitely tell you that he did not go to Manchester High School.
Kacey: That doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is he's in school now. And that he's gonna make himself better.
Chris: He is... yes he is, okay, he is...
Kacey: His high s- I told you before, high school doesn't matter to me, it's stupid.
Chris: Well, you get your education through high school. You need your high school diploma to move on to college...
Kacey: Not really, anyone can get their GED and blaze through it. What matters even more than high school education is like your SATs and your ACTs. College is what's important to me. Because that shows a future. I mean, I bet you don't even know what a GED is.
Chris: I do know, I have a general idea of what a GED is. It's a sort of degree.
Kacey: ...No... It's... in place of a diploma. I mean, did you even take the SAT?
Chris: Yes, I did take the SAT in high school.
Kacey: What was your scores?
Chris: ...I do not remember.
Kacey: Oh come on, you've got to remember. Nobody forgets their SAT scores.
Chris: It, uh, with a small detail like that, and I felt it was small... it was in one ear and out the other.
Kacey: Okay, was it- was it above 1100? Was it above 1200? Was it above... anything like that?
Chris: Yeah, mmm... Ah, yeah, I think it, I think it was... over 1100. "[long pause]" But that's to the best of my recollection. I swear.
Kacey: So you had something over 1100, but you went to a community college. I mean, did- did you even try to get into a university? Not that I'm saying community colleges are bad, but, come on.
Chris: I did- yeah well, yeah, my mom and dad advised me to go to the community college, because my family could not afford university.
Kacey: That's... my- okay, okay, first off... you're on disability. Government would have paid for your schooling, the end. That's just being lazy. Um, number two, financial aid and student loans. That would have been all on you, not on them. And the thing is, you... should at least have transferred to university after the community college cause community college is a stepping stone. Yes, it's a great way to get your classes for cheaper, but then you have to go to university to get, like, a bachelor's. I mean, did you even look into that?
Chris: That had not come to mind. By the way, I ca- by the way, just to let you know, I did check with my mom and dad, I mean... yes, they were in for, of the, of the financial aid, but they...
Kacey: Well then your parents should have done something about that, that just shows your parents didn't care about your future either. But it's not up to them. You should have done it, why didn't you use it? [talking over Chris] I wish I'd had financial aid right way.
Chris: [sighs] Look. I would have taken the financial aid if I-if I could, but my mom and dad, there was a whole lot of stress going on in just starting out at the community college...
Kacey: But you still... should have been able to do it later... [Chris stutters] Don't you overtalk me! Don't overtalk me. That's the thing, it's always stress, it's always stress this stress that. It...doesn't...matter. You should have been able to do something afterwards. Even if you didn't do it right away, you should have been able to go to a four-year university afterwards, and gotten something better than just a little CADD certificate...whatever. An associate's doesn't do shit. I'm... I mean, like, I'm sick and tired of hearing you use the word "stress." You don't know stress. We've been through this before. You don't know what stress is.
Chris: Okay, I will not disagree with you...but on the...
Kacey: You're damn straight you're not gonna disagree with me because you know I'm right! You don't have a job, you don't even- you don't have job stress. You..You sit around, play video games, and get... money. If your life was a hundred times more stressful than it is now, you still wouldn't have as much stress as I do, you wouldn't have as much stress as...my cat, probably.
Chris: [long pause] Yeah, y-you're probably right.
Kacey: You're damn straight I'm right! I mean, you take days off where you don't do anything except color or play video games. "[pause]" I mean, I don't think you get... that all you have shown me the whole time I've known you, is that you don't want to do anything unless it's easy. You want everything to be handed to you. And if you haven't noticed, I'm kind of ambitious. Why would I want someone like that?
Chris: [long pause] Yeah, you're right. I would not want, uh... I would, if I was to... go out with a woman, I, ah, would want one who was a go-getter. And you...
Kacey: But the thing is, don't you think go-getters want other go-getters? Why would I want someone who's just gonna lay at home and suck up my money? I mean, cause that's all it would be, instead of sucking up the government's money you'd be sucking up my money. And, uh, I'm not sure I'd like that. At all. I mean, I don't want to have to take care of someone until I have kids, and you're definitely not my kid.
Chris: [long pause] I cn definitely, be able- I can definitely take care of myself.
Kacey: No you can't! You don't have a job. Can't take care of yourself without a job. My job is hanging on a thread, and I'm still doing way better than you.
Chris: Okay, yeah, you're doing... way better than me. You know a lot more than I do.
Kacey: I mean, seriously, tell me: without your parents, could you survive?
Chris: I would do my best to survive, and... I think I would get by.
Kacey: Really. Your best. Because, I mean... what kind of bills do you think need to be paid off every month?
Chris: [long pause] Yeah... electric, water, heating... that sort of thing.
Kacey: "[pause]"Um, how about car insurance? Um, cable?
Chris: Oh yeah, car, um...
Kacey: Rent? Property? You got taxes? Um, trash pickup if you have trash? Recycling if you have recycling? Oh, and don't forget any repairs.
Chris: Yes, there is all that.
Kacey: I mean, how much do you get a month again? Like, what, 600?
Chris: No, I'm ge- I'm getting... about 800 a month right now.
Kacey: Still, my bills are slightly larger than that. I mean, you couldn't survive on your own. And, I mean, these are my bills with roommates. I don't think you could survive without your parents. You can't even move out! And even if you could move out, you wouldn't have anybody to move out with! That's, that's insane!
Chris: Yeah, that is insane. And I...
Kacey: Then why haven't you done something about it?! I have been living out on my own since I was eighteen, nineteen. You are twenty-seven! And you haven't moved out yet!
Chris: Yeah, well one reason is- yeah, I don't have anybody to move out... with.
Kacey: I moved out with nothing. I moved out with no job, hardly any money, without a car, and I still survived. And I got myself a job, and I got myself a car.
Chris: Well I mean...
Kacey: I mean, find someone, there's people in craigslist, the newspapers, um universities, everywhere. You can find something. You can find someone who, will just rent a room. And then you don't even need to be around that person. I mean, Hell, you could probably get housing.
Chris: Yeah, "[stutters] That's true, but ah... If I move out that's actually- I think I could be able to move out.. with my girlfriend. I don't, I mean, I wouldn't want just some other, I don't think- I just wouldn't feel comfortable-
Kacey: "[cuts in]" But be realistic Chris, I mean.
Chris: with some kind of stranger...
Kacey: You need to know how to live on your own before you go into a relationship. Because if you go straight into, living out with a relationship, it's going to put a strain on there. I mean, you need to know how to deal with strangers, you need to know how to live on your own. I mean if you can't take care of yourself, you can't expect to be in a relationship. You'll just drag it down.

Part 3

Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey, Part 3
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Stardate	10 November 2009
Featuring	Chris, Kacey
Saga	Liquid Saga
Audio Recordings
previous Part 2	next Final

Kacey: Besides, I mean, you shouldn't move out with someone right away anyway, so you should probably live on your own first. I mean, besides, if you keep acting the way you're acting, you aren't likely to get a girlfriend anyway. Besides, if you had your own place to be, it'd be easier, because then there'd be a place for her to move and normally it's the girl who moves in with the guy. [obvious sounds of Kacey being tired from wailing on Chris so much] And besides, if you can't even take care of that, how do you expect to take care of a daughter... Which you keep dreaming about. I mean, are you expecting to just marry someone rich? [slight pause]
Chris: No, I do not... I- [cut off by Kacey]
Kacey: Then how are you gonna take care of her? How are you gonna take care of a daughter?
Chris: One day at a time.
Kacey: No, there is no one day at a time. You-You... There is no one day at a time. You do that, you're going to [Obesity|starve.] You need plans. I mean, that's like Alcoholics Anonymous, that's not living.
Chris: Well, I mean, at least I don't go out and get drunk every night. I don't do that.
Kacey: Well, you know what, at least those drunks could pay for their drinks. You couldn't even do that! I mean, are you just trying to make yourself look good?
Chris: [incoherent mumbling, sounds like he's repeating what Kacey just asked him] Yeah...
Kacey: Well, stop! It's-It's... I mean, that's- uh, that's stupid!
Chris: Well, wait, uh-
Kacey: You're comparing apples to oranges!
Chris: Okay, wait, maybe I'm misunderstanding the ques- maybe I misunderstood the question. You just said, I mean, I thought you said, uh, "[...]trying to make myself look good."
Kacey: Yeah, you're just trying to make yourself look good by comparing yourself to someone you think is worse than you. But, I mean, you're not going to be able to always do that. That's not adult.
Chris: [completely skipping over the latter half of her last statements] Oooh, yeah, okay, yeah, now I understand. I just, mm... okay. Mmmm... Yeah. Mmm... Yeah, but, that is, uh, that is kind of a lame deal.
Kacey: Besides, at this point, they're probably better than you.
Chris: Yeah, you're pro'lly- Yeah... You're right. A lot of people are better than me. Uh... In situations of being able to take care of him or herselves... Themselves.
Kacey: Yeah, so obviously you're never gonna be able to take care of anyone. Why would girls want that? Girls want real men. They want somebody who's gonna give them comfort and security. Not saying that the girl shouldn't be making money, too, and helping out, but I mean, nobody wants somebody who's just going to, [sigh] to, just, lay there and do nothing!
Chris: Yeah.
Kacey: I mean, oh-kay, look at what I'm being offered with Chris. Look at what I'm being offered with you. If you were me, what would you do?
Chris: Mm... Yeah... Probably go to one that's better. But... Lemme just ask you- I mean, I know it's not about Chris, lemme ask you, have you actually checked his back- his background and actually seen where he works?
Kacey: Yes! And that's why he- I know he's honest with me! And it doesn't matter anyway, you just said it's not about him, but then you made it about him. I mean, I've been to a company lunch with him.
Chris: Well, um, I was just askin'. I was just askin'.
Kacey: So, I mean, seriously, once again, I mean, who do you think would be the better one?
[pause]
Chris: Okay, him.
Kacey: Exactly, so why-why do you think I would even give you a chance after all the lies and all the ch-shit you put me through? You ignored me.
Chris: I lis- I listen to your every word, I did... I-I-Okay, well...
[Chris and Kacey talk over each other, Kacey comes out victorious]
Kacey: If you listen to it, you definitely didn't do anything about it. I mean, stop lying.
Chris: I have been excersizing, I have been... going out walking and jogging.
Kacey: Yeah, for five minutes. Not good enough. Totally not good enough.
Chris: Okay, yeah, not good en-could be better. Could be better.
Kacey: Could be a LOT better. I mean, working is not good enough if you don't push yourself. Then you're not really working on it. Then you're just kinda coasting through it. You're just kinda being half-assed. Do I really seem like the girl who needs someone half-assed?
Chris: Yeah, you're not the... kinda girl that would want somebody who's... half-assed.
[pause lasting 21 seconds]
Kacey: I mean, just... [sigh] Right now, in my eyes, you're just a horrible human being. You leech off everyone. And I can't stand that, for one, you don't even know the principles of your religion right, which is extremely important to me. You've insulted and hurt my fiancé beyond anything, then you've insulted and hurt me, you've ignored me, you think he's more important, you've disrespected everyone on 9/11, when, of course, nothing touches YOU, you insulted my father, you insulted my family... You- I mean, you compared my grandmother dying to a DOG. A dog. A mangy, dirty dog. I mean. Oh. My. GOD.
Chris: [obviously jumping over everything Kacey just said yet again] Patti was not a mangy, dirty dog... She was a member of my family.
Kacey: Yeah, well, that still doesn't mean that she's like my grandmother dying in a terrorist attack. She still a damned dog. I mean, I love my cats and everything, but they're still cats! She was still a damn dog. I mean, fuck you for even COMPARING that to my grandmother dying.
Chris: Okay, well- kay...
Kacey: You don't understand life, you don't understand death, obviously.
Chris: I do understand death. It hurts...
Kacey: The thing is, you don't understand. I mean, you're not even going to live to see thirty. Why would I wanna be with someone who I know is going to be dead in four years? Three years? I mean... [sigh] I wouldn't even give you five years. My family hates you, you're lying to me, you're nasty to my friends, you lie to my friends. I mean, don't think I don't know that you don't lie to Kim. Don't think I don't know that you don't lie to me! I don't think you'd have luck with anyone, to tell you the truth. So you can not tell me that you want me to be with you or that you love me because you're just gonna die wasting your life playing video games and doing nothing. I mean, even though a CADD degree isn't much, you haven't done anything with it. You've wasted your life. You've wasted your life and you think you're good enough to date anyone, including me? I mean, you're frickin' weak-willed, you're not even good enough for society. You- I don't think you're ever gonna get anything, you can't fight for what you want. You definitely didn't fight for me, so you know what? I don't need this at all. This is totally not what I need. I mean, fuck you, I don't even wanna be friends, because you are a total waste of space. I mean, you disrespect everyone. And you know what? I'm getting married tomorrow, 2PM. You know what, and it's all thanks to you, cause if it weren't for you being such an ass, I wouldn't see what a great person Chris is and how much he really does love me 'cause I had someone to compare him to, who doesn't give a shit about me, who only loves his video games and himself. So you know what? You- Just- You know what? I don't even care because I don't even have anything to say to you because you know what, won't hurt about this, you'll be over this by tomorrow. I will never see anything that shows you're even hurt by this or you even care! So you know what, I'm going to go ahead and get married tomorrow. I'm gonna be happy and I'm gonna live my life and you know what, you're gonna be doing the same thing in five years. If you're not dead. I mean, I'd recommend talking to someone about that. Y'should probably call up, you know, an institution, therapy, something, because, I mean, you're gonna be the five- doing the same thing in five minutes. I bet you I will never be mentioned again by you. You're not gonna be upset. You're not gonna do anything. I bet you anything I'm gonna see a new video being like, "Oh, who the hell was Kacey? I'm going after..." I don't even care anymore. I. Don't. Care. I'm getting married tomorrow. I'm gonna be happy, so you know what? Go do whatever because you know what, just fuck you, you're just gonna go off with someone else because, I mean, you've already shown me that, you've already shown me that, sooo... Have fun making a video about meeting a new girlfriend, because I'm done.
Chris: Ugh...
[it can be implied that by this point, Chris's new pair of undies have since been soiled]
Kacey: Peace out.
[tape ends]

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