Mumble 2

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In Mumble 2, a Wild Snorlax appeared.

Mumble 2 is the second Mumble chat that took place on 4 February 2009. More than an hour long.

This is a more organized Q&A type chat than Mumble 1. Questions from Clyde about sex in the comic and interesting tidbits about how Chris believes sex is the same as romance. This is pretty hard hitting, with stuff like how Chris is into fast food yet he's against tobacco. A lot of drama involving Clyde.

Summary

Notes

• Chris doesn't like Clyde because he stole his sweetheart.
• Audio cuts out for a minute before Chris says: "....HYMEN!" (You broke her hymen)
• Trolls claim Panda is with Clyde, Chris wants to hear her voice, they say she's busy
• 'She and I WERE very close'
• Chris didn't have 400 to 800 dollars to go and see Panda; claims he got this number from an airport website recommended by Miyamoto
• Insists on Sonichu being in Animal Crossing
• Doesn't want to talk about his deal with them
• Insists that he doesn't have to turn down his radio since his voice is louder (it is horribly loud in the mic)
• Panda gave Clyde all of the sites, etc.
• Sarah is going to be with Clyde, which Chris wants to deny
• These motherfuckers keep talking over each other
• Calls a troll's critique crap
• Bubbles must be aroused, she isn't wet all the time
• Bubbles is 90% water so does sperm just swim around forever? NO
• Clyde: This is a childrens' comic, why so much sex?

Chris: It is romance. My best artwork is when they're making out 'romantic moments', drawn in protest to trolls. Shows that Rosechus have vaginas, not ducks.

• Admits to maybe going overboard
• Trolls try to reason with him about the ED article: There wouldn't be an article if he didn't react like he does.
• Trolls say that TV-Y7 means NO SEX but Chris points to romantic anime that have making out (cartoons are for kids, whatever the content).
• Trolls talk about Japan being less strict about those things
• Everyone gets to vote in CWCville, even if they're black'.
• Got his idea from Mary Poppins.
• Troll tries to give historical background about cough medicine putting kids to sleep. Chris insists it was the lullaby that put them to sleep.
• Discussion about Chris, 'gay message' sent by a troll
• He calls Clyde a scoundrel
• BELIEVE HIM HE IS STRAIGHT
• Chris tries to speak Mexican at 20:50
• Mexican speaks Mexican to him... he replies in Menglish
• 4-cent_garbage is located in Mexico
• Someone says that he needs to improve his Mexican
• Chris is against smoking, CWCville is smoke and alcohol free
• Rehash of why tobacky is bad, his position on it, alcohol=bar fights
• Chris' dad smoked and had several bypasses, has a pacemaker and has had heart attacks
• Mention of his hair cuttings for his fans
• Chris was doing math in his head, got in car crash.
• Chris has taken college level math. Took trigonometry.
• Trolls gang up on Clyde for stealing Panda
• Time will tell when Chris will make the money he would have in the Nintendo deal
• Trolls bash Clyde for his pot smoking
• Chris doesn't watch news because it's bad news =(
• Bashing of the Mexican
• Chris can type 30 to 100 WPM
• Chris can't type and talk at the same time
• Chris says PSN is free though Clyde(?) points to the 1000 dollars Chris spent on PSN
• Chris has been typing for 15 minutes now and it is VERY loud
• Chris has been busy IRL therefore the comic release doesn't have a date
• Someone points to nudes on YouTube.
• He does not have it on the YouTube, but he isn't going to take it anymore.
• Claims some of the photos are photoshopped.
• Clyde offers help to take ED page down.
• Chris denies taking those pictures, doesn't want to talk about it, making him uncomfortable.
• Some of the pictures are real. When questioned which ones are fake, Chris can't answer.
• Chris hates Harry Potter because it was in competition with Pokemon!
• Chris is too stressed to read Vivian's book, but likes the cover though!
• Polly, who has been talking the whole time is confronted by Chris who thinks she is a guy. Polly is upset. Chris apologizes.
• Jimmy Hill has launched his Sonichu show
• More Mexican talk at 55:10
• Chris giggles and sighs happily when Cassie, another Mexican, compliments him and when she leaves he says 'Chiquita Bonita'
• Rabbichoso talk (Sonichu.info)
• Classic trolls are leaving Chris alone.
• Chris likes Steel Angel Kurumi (quote from Wikipedia: often classified as ecchi due to the focus on fanservice and panty shots)
• Chris claims to be very strong, could beat Clyde up. Says he would show Clyde a Hard Day's Night, and would give Clyde pain.
• ShinyMarshtomp makes an appearance? Likes Rabbichoso
• Chris likes to eat at Country Cookin (like Golden Corral)
• Chris likes to imagine his first time.
• Clyde says the first time is awful, Chris said it was because Clyde prematurely ejaculated
• Watch porn with naked women to cure your gay
• Guys sitting next to you = gay coming on to you
• Falsion has been in the chat room and is afraid he is gay

A Wild Snorlax Appears

• Barbara asks if Chris wants hot dogs (insert penis joke here)
• Chris will only be acquaintances with Falsion

[1:12:30]

Chris: I'm just answering a few questions mother.

Barbara:: You don't have to answer. They ain't payin' you to do it.

Troll: Yeah, they are.

[shuffling sounds, clanging]

Barbara:: It ain't none of their business no way. I wouldn't be asked questions like that by employers or anybody.

Troll: Chris what is happening?

Chris: Obviously, my mother is offering her input.

Barbara:: I don't need no back talk from somebody comin' out the other end of the phone line.

Chris: I hear you, mom.

[scraping sounds]

Barbara:: These idiots don't have any brains or any idea this way or that.

[more banging, clanging and tumbling sounds]

Troll: Is it your bed time right now...?

Chris: Pixelblocks, Pixelblocks!

Troll: Someone's saying "Pixelblocks." Is it you? Chris, are you saying Pixelblocks?

Chris::Haha...

[Chris's mom has been singing]

Troll: Your mother has a beautiful singing voice, Chris.

Barbara:: [inaudible] all the anxiety, causing you stress.

Chris: Well sometimes they don't, they can be peaceful.

Barbara:: Well Mom and Dad get their [inaudible]

Chris:: Mmm, a lot of us do.

Barbara:: Just look at this nasty mess here that you guys left that I got to clean up.

Chris: [sighs] Yeah I took care of my bills, I mean, not completely but I took care of them.

[Clanging noises return after short absence]

[Trolls talk about General Hospital, then ask for forgiveness for Clyde]

[Demonic voice briefly heard]

[Sound of a vacuum cleaner]

[Sound of Chris' mom singing]

Troll: Your mom has a beautiful voice, Chris.

[Meme spouting back and forth]

Do you watch Code Geass or Naruto?

.........

I'm going to watch Shuffle! sometime

[Naruto talk... or some anime]

[More clanging, vacuuming]

Chris: ...got my headphones on. And you know what else? They like your singing.

Barbara:: ...I don't sing.

Chris::You just did!

Barbara:: That's my laugh, my laugh!

Chris: They just did, they heard you singing just now

Barbara:: I can't sing!

Chris::You just did!

Barbara:: [inaudible]

Chris: They just heard you singing in the microphone.

Barbara:: Did you write cheques checks for those bills?

Chris: Yeah. Yes mother I did.

Barbara:: You're not telling me a story?

Chris: No, I'm not telling you a story.

Barbara:: It's important [inaudible] did you pay them?

Chris: Yes I paid them

Barbara:: Okay you need to be honest with me.

Chris: No you're saying... I'm being honest, I'm being honest.

Barbara:: How you respond to what...what [we] talk about. You say you want to do something and you don't do it then life is gonna change [our ideas soon?]

Chris: Ok... I'll be sure to pay the remaining difference next month.

Barbara:: No, this month.

Chris: I couldn't pay them all with 90 dollars so there's still some there that [sound cuts]

...oh you're cooking them up here that's why you turned the fan on over the stove.

[trolls rejoice and mock Momma Chandler]

Transcript

Waiting for Chris

Polly: I can't wait to hear Chris! I'm a huge fan!
Clyde: Oh, goddamn these noodles are fantastic. Man, I wish I could eat like this everyday.
Troll: Have you eaten the rice balls?
Clyde: No, no, no. These are noodles. These are... [Trolls interrupt]
Troll: Fan-fucking-tastic.
Clyde: Fantastic, you know?
Troll: Sweetangie is Chris. Or, we think so.
Troll: Yeah, I don't think this is him.
Clyde: It's definitely not the real Chris.
Clyde: I'm disappointed there's so many impostors out there. Kinda my fault, but, you know, if it weren't [unintelligible] Hard to come by.
Troll: His mic was working last time he was here, just fine.
Troll: He usually capitalizes his words, like in every sentence.
Troll: Yeah, I don't think he's - I don't think this is him.
Troll: Is it set to push to talk or something? [Trolls talk over each other]
Clyde: It's called push to talk. Push to talk.
Troll: No, just have him set it to voice activity. It works so much better that way. [BlueSpike says something unclear]
Troll: You guys are fucking idiots. [Trolls talk over each other again]
Troll: You guys scared him off by being guys.
Troll: Yeah, you fucking jackasses. Nice going.
Troll: Was that even the real...?
Troll: Yes, that was the real Chris.
Troll: He's too much of a pussy to talk.
Troll: Yeah, cause you scared him, or some - No, or he's too stupid to be. [Laughter]

Chris Arrives

Chris: [Chris arrives, with radio playing loudly.] Hello. [Trolls all greet him.]
Chris: Yeah, now-
Troll: Why don't you have your microphone working?
Chris: Yeah, I don't know why my microphone is messed up.
Troll: I'm sorry, but we had an impostor here before.
Chris: No, I'm registered. I've got myself registered now. So, uh, hopefully-
Troll: That's probably why. It probably had to calibrate.
Chris: Yeah. Well I calibrated now.
Clyde: So, Chris, have you seen Rabbichozo's, uh, oh it's fantastic.
Chris: I don't give a crap about your stupid pencil sketch. [Pause, audio cuts out]
Chris: Well for one thing, you stole my sweetheart! [Cutout continues]

PandaHalo, Trip to Redmond and Animal Crossing

Chris: You broke her hymen!
Clyde: Look, I know it's a terrible mistake, but I plan to make it up to her. I'm doing the things I should do.
Chris: Oh, and another thing, if she is really over there with you now, then put her on the mic. Please.
Troll: She's not- He never said-
Clyde: Look, Chris, she's very busy, ok. She's very busy.
Chris: Well-
Clyde: She's not over here right now. Okay? So lets drop it.
Chris: Alright, fine. Well could you tell her to please send me a message lettin' me know, for sure, so I can know- so I can know.
Clyde: [Talks over Chris] I'll let her know whatever you want, but it's her life. She doesn't have to send you a message. You failed her. You failed her.
Chris: [Sighs] She and I were very close.
Clyde: You say you're so close, then why didn't you go?
Chris: [Sighs] Because I had- Aw, hang on a second. How do I- oh, that's right. This thing. Right. [Sighs] Hold on a sec. Oh yeah, because I did not have four to eight hundred dollars!
Clyde: It doesn't cost that much to go cross-country.
Chris: Yes it does. I know, I saw it on an airport website. Where I was be- Where I was- recommended to me by Mr. Miyamoto.
Clyde: You know, you can drive there. It's not that hard.
Troll: What happened with that? I thought, um, didn't you have a deal with them or something? I heard a rumor that your characters were going to be in Animal Crossing.
Chris: Well, they are in Animal Crossing. And I did- and I do- I did have a deal with them.
Troll: What happened though?
Chris: [Huge sigh] I'd rather not say.
Troll: Oh.

Chris's Radio, Clyde and Criticism

Troll: Chris, why don't you turn down the TV? It's hard to hear you.
Chris: [Annoyed sigh] I do not have a TV turned on in here.
Troll: I can hear it.
Chris: I have a radio.
Troll: I hear something in the background.
Chris: [Burping throughout sentence] Well that's the- that would b- the radio. And it is not that loud.
Troll: But it shows up pretty well on your microphone mic. With due respect.
Chris: But still, my voice is louder than the radio.
Troll: Ah goo- ahh given.</font?>
Polly: Uh, Chris? Uh, when are you going to do the new Sonichu comic?
Clyde: [Says something over Polly]
Chris: [Huge sigh] Uh, I'll answer Polly's question. I'm not sure. It's, uh, it's in progress right now, I'm drawing it up.
Polly: Oh, okay. I can't wait to read it!
Chris: [Sigh] Well, we'll see.
Troll: Chris!
Troll: Listen, Clyde kind of has admin on here, so we can't really do anything about him. So, yeah. I don't know.
Clyde: [Hard to hear over Chris's radio] ...with you guys. I love you guys. Just as much as Chris loves you guys. Right?
Chris: [Huge sigh]
Clyde: Look, I was angry. I was angry. But I'm calm now.
Troll: Don't try to hurt any other person from now on.
Clyde: I'm doing the best I can. I'm doing the best I can.
Chris: Well, I have much- I do not have much to say in response to that right now. Because I'm ticked off.
Troll: Don't let him get to you.
Troll: You're no better than he is, if you give in.
Clyde: [Says something unintelligible]
Chris: [Huge sigh]
Troll: Hey, Chris, I just wanted to let you know I'm a huge fan of the comics, and I'm glad you keep doing what you're doing. You're doing a great job, and just keep it up, alright man?
Chris: Yeah, yeah, I appreciate the, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? The, the, uh- well, the encouraging words. Encouragement. I appreciate the encouragement. Well, there are things, uh- I- er- current events I do not appreciate. I appreciate the positive encouragement.
Troll: Yeah, I can't really do anything. He took over the IRC channel. I used to be the owner. I mean Clyde. He's like taking over everything.
Clyde: Yeah, it was because Panda gave it to me, you know. But anyway, I mean, you can't just listen to encouragement, you've got to listen to criticism, man. Criticisms are what make you better, you learn from your mistakes. You learn from mistakes.
Chris: [Sigh]
Troll: Be right back guys, my wife is calling.
Polly: Oh, okay.
Clyde: I don't- I don't- Tons of people don't like the Rabbichozo art style, but you know, I gotta improve on that. That's something I plan to improve on. There's a lot of criticism in the death of Sonichu, right?
Chris: [Loudly] What? What did you just say?
Clyde: There's a lot of criticism of Sonichu. Right?
Chris: Oh. For a moment there I thought you said something different.
Clyde: What, what did you think I said? I'm just saying, there are people who like it and people who don't like it. You gotta start taking in those suggestions. You know?
Chris: Hmm. So many things that will be improved upon. But, I just have to hear from Sarah herself that she really is going to be with you, Clyde. I have to hear it from herself. It's one thing to hear it from you and then it's- then on that note, it's just I find it very hard to believe. So I have to hear it from her.
Troll: Yeah, I kinda think that Rabbichozo sucks. I mean, I think it could be funny, but it honestly looks like it's drawn by a kindergartener.
Chris: Yes.
Troll: I mean, Sonichu has evolved over the years. You can see that the art's getting better. Rabbichozo doesn't even look like something a beginner would do, honestly. I mean, [Interrupted]
Chris: A whole bunch of crap! [Everyone starts talking at once]
Polly: Also, Sonichu is in color.
Clyde: I know, I accept this criticism. But you just called it crap! Now that's just rude.
Chris: Well, I have emotions going behind me- uh, behind that opinion.

Cassie

Cassie's Friend: Chris, did you get my message.
Chris: Uh...
Clyde: Aren't you going to be the gentleman, then? Aren't you gonna be the gentleman?
Cassie's Friend: I just want to ask you, Chris. I'm Cassie's friend. She- she's worried sick about you. Why haven't you emailed her?
Chris: I did email her! As a- I- I haven't gotten any re-plies from her. I have emailed her and I have instant messaged her on A.I.M. and Skype. I haven't heard back from her. I don't know what's going on there.
Cassie's Friend: ...you emailed her.
Chris: What?
Cassie's Friend: When was the last time you emailed her?
Chris: Uh, hang on, I'll check.
Polly: Um, Chris? I have a question. My fa- One of my favorite new characters is, um, Simonla, and like, I also like Zapina as well. Um, are they gonna have bigger parts in the series later on?
Chris: I'm sorry, could you repeat that question?
Polly: Um, I was wondering if Simonla and Zapina will either have bigger parts in the series later on.
Chris: Possibly. Possibly, but, uh, I can't say for sure. Oh, and, uh, to answer your question, uh- in answer to, uh, I believe, uh, Screwhead, who asked? It was about four days ago. About four days ago.
Cassie's Friend: Yeah. Four days ago? Okay, I'll tell her to check it out.
Chris: The last email I sent was about four days ago.
Troll: She'll contact you in a while, though.
Cassie's Friend: I'll tell her to check it out and- and thanks Chris.
Chris: Alright. Mm.

Bubbles's Pussy and Sex in the Comics

Troll: Hey, Chris? I have a question.
Chris: Yes?
Troll: Yeah, my favorite character is Bubbles, I kinda liked the, uh, the thing she had going with Blake, where she was kind of keeping the relationship secret. I thought that was kinda clever. I was wondering, uh, she's a water-type, so does that mean that her vagina is always wet, or does she have to be aroused like a normal woman?
Chris: [Sigh] Yeah, aroused. That's applied for all the, uh, Rosechus there. And also, like, you know, she's not just a water-type, she's also- she's a water- and electric-type, like uh- oh, shoot- What's the name of that one? Originated from Gold-Silver-Crystal series, uh, evolves from Chinchou? Lanturn. And she has, uh, she has Volt Absorb ability.
Troll: Oh, I see.
Troll: Uh, Chris, another question following Bubbles. Uh, her body is 90% water, and now this thing about the whole sexual intercourse - about it. Now, don't take this rude, and you don't need to answer me...
Chris: No, that's fine.
Troll: ...I try to respect your creative work. My wife actually got me into this, uh, show actually. So, what happens is- like, as you know, like, semens are like little fishes in themselves. Would that mean, I mean, would they actually have a route to fly into the egg, in theory, or do they just swim around her whole body, just forever just swimming around.
Chris: Hmm. The, uh, the internal or- the internal organs uh, for the Rosechus are pretty much the same thing, so I'd say pre- about, uh, as good chance as most any other mammal.
Troll: Oh, so you mean she's able to control her density a little bit more. She- I understand now. She's able to control more her density from the 90% water. Okay. That pretty much answers it just perfectly. That's been bothering me at work. Laughs
Chris: Okay.
Clyde: I got another question, Chris, about this whole sexual thing. I mean, this is a children's comic, right? Why is there so much sex in it?
Chris: Hmm. It's called romance, and my- and my- if you'll notice throughout the comics my best pieces of artwork among which were those where dey were kissing and making out. Romantic moments.
Clyde: There's a hidden page.
Chris: [Interrupting Clyde] And because- and because- and because of the tension from, uh, the trolls and Encyclopedia Dramatica, I just felt like doing that in protest against them.
Clyde: Yeah, but childre-
Jack Thaddeus [Interrupting Clyde] Yes but how is that really a protest? That, you know, you know, are, are you like referencing to the 60's when women burned their bras? That was in protes- That was feminism. Saying that they weren't slaves to men. Do you even understand the whole thing?
[Pause, multiple voices are heard at once]
Chris: Now, to tell you the truth, I never really thought about, I never really thought about that when I-
Jack Thaddeus [Interrupting Chris] Then how is, stripping was, how was that protest-
Chris: [Interrupting Jack Thaddeus] It shows that they have vaginas and NOT dicks.
Jack Thaddeus The dick thing was the fact that they were just, you know, mocking you. I think you went overboard with that.
Chris: Well maybe I did. Maybe I did.
Jack: Yeah, you did, because that seems kind of excessive, kind of [interrupted]
Troll: I don't think they would have even bothered to write about an article about you if you didn't just keep reacting like that.

Chris justifies sex in a kids' comic

Troll: I have another question.
Troll: The point some of us are trying to make is, if it's TV-Y7 that means there should really be no sex in it at all.
Clyde: [unintelligible over other people]
Chris: That's pretty much incorrect, I mean, uh, there's so many romantic anime that's TV-Y7, and they shoul- they have making out.
Clyde: You know, a lot of things in Japan, Japan has stricter standards-not stricter, I mean looser guidelines than America. It's much different.
Chris: I hear ya.
Troll: Chris, I was just wondering what Bubbles, um, she has a, that water whirlwind attack, I was just curious if you had any plans to make- [Chris butts in]
Chris: By the way, that was a Whirl- Whirlpool.
Troll: Yeah, Whirlpool, sorry, sorry, Whirlpool, but do you have any plans to mix an, uh, Electric-type attack with that, since water conducts electricity, right? It could be a very powerful-
Chris: [interrupts] Yeah, she did, she did an electric attack amongst the- the walls of that Whirlpool and she let out. In case you didn't know, there's a- little bits of lightning bolts among which-
Troll: Oh, oh, I'm sor- I didn't notice that, I'm sorry, I'll go take another look. Thank you.
Max?: Hey Chris-
Chris: Yeah.
Max?: You make some pretty sweet Little Big Planet levels.
Chris: Thank you.

Chris on Benadryl babysitting

Clyde: Oh, there's a message from Cogs on the side, about, uh, do women not have the right to vote already in CWCville.
Chris: No, ervy- Everybody, no matter what age, no matter what gender or race, ervybody has the right to vote in CWCville. Even if they're black.
Clyde: Then what's up with the "Votes for Women" thing, I was-
Troll: Not just vote women, but- [interrupted] any other ethnicities, and gays?
Troll: I don't understand-
Chris: I did that- heard it in Mary Poppins.
Jack: What? Mary Poppins?
Chris: Yeah.
Troll: Aw, man, Mary Poppins?
Chris: Yeah, Mary Poppins.
Polly: I remember that movie.
Troll: Aw, yeah, that movie.
Chris: It's a classic. It's my favorite movie of all time.
Jack: Yeah, that movie was, like, based in the 1900s.
Chris: Yeah, but still I- still I agreed with that message there-
Clyde: Taken out of context, that makes it seem like CWCville's set in the 1960s [sic].
Jack: What message? That children should be given cough medicine so they'll go to sleep?
Chris: What?
Jack: Yeah, that's what women used to do back in- That's what mothers, friggin' nurses and stuff used to do to kids in the 1900s, is give children, like, you know, cough medicine.
Clyde: [laughter]
Chris: Cause- cause the medicine- uh, correction, the medicine did not put them to sleep, there was a lullaby, not the cough medicine. They only had to take the cough medicine-
Jack: No cough medicine-
Chris: ...because it rained, before dere, and it was not, and it was to, uh-
Jack: Rain means cough medicine doesn't have anything to do with each other. That's not how friggin' germs are spread, or colds are gotten. Colds are gotten through germs, not the rain.
Troll: How is cough medicine any different from today's parents that just let their kids watch TV until they fall asleep? I mean, it's just as bad.
Jack: Well- Cough medicine has a lot to do with the psychological effects of it. Obviously if you get- if you keep giving fre-
Troll: Thanks, Samantha, that was delicious.
Jack: What?
Troll: It's my, uh, Samantha-
Polly: Yeah, that's we're all saying, cause I've heard that there's a lot of different chemicals in cough medicine. You could cook up a [unintelligible]
Jack: I don't even take cough medicine, because I'm not a pussy.
Troll: Uh, so.
Troll: Chris!
Chris: Anyway, I never put any references, I never did any references or plan any references to cough medicine or anything of that sort.
Troll: Well, Chris, Cassie says the last e-mail she got from you was on the 17th. How 'bout your being gay? Is that true?
Chris: [sigh] That wa- That was somebody had- That was Clyde hacking through my e-mail and spammed that to my contacts.
Clyde: Yeah, I definitely did not do that-
Jack: You're a scoundrel-
Chris: -a slanderous lie.
Clyde: I did not do that.
Troll: Whoa-whoa-whoa. Wow. Well, thanks for that. She was worried that you were- that you don't like her.
Jack: You're a scoundrel, Clyde.
Clyde: I didn't do that. That was someone else.
Polly: I was wondering, because I've heard other [unintelligible] too, I was really hoping that you weren't gay.
Chris: Believe me, I'm straight.
Polly: Oh, okay. I'll take your word for it.
Chris: Thank you. And, uh-
Clyde: Cogs- Cogs got a way- she showed us that, okay? I mean, you only [unintelligible]
Chris: Polly, Polly-

Chris's fail-riffic Spanish

Troll: So, Chris. (at this point about four or five people are talking at once)
Troll: Cassie didn't get your last e-mail.
Chris: I'm sorry, what?
Troll: Cassie didn't get your last e-mail.
Troll: Yeah, Screwhead's from Mexico. I heard you like Spanish, so.
Troll: Hola, Chris.
Troll: You know Spanish, right?
Chris: Si. [unintelligible broken Spanish] a Mexico. [unintelligible] dos años [unintelligible]. (Yes, to Mexico, two years)
Troll: Has estado en Mexico? (Have you been to Mexico?)
Chris: Uh, lo siento? (Uh, I'm sorry?)
Troll: Has estado en Mexico? (have you been to Mexico?)
Chris: Estoy Mexico? No. (I am Mexico? No.)
Troll: [slowly] Has estado, ama in Mexico. Has venir? (Have you been to Mexico? Have gone?)
Chris: Oh. Uh, no, I hav- no, no tengo pansars. [sic] (no, I don't have pansars (?))
Troll: What?
Chris: Uh, I think, uh, I think I meant to say- I'm pretty sure-
Jack: Did you just say you don't wear pants?
Chris: Uh, no, I was trying to say, ah, I don't have plans to go in Mexico at the moment.
Troll: Oh, okay.
Polly: Oh, I see.
Chris: That's what I understood what he was saying there.
Jack: Chris, did you know that, that 4-cent garbage website is located in Mexico?
Chris: Huh.
Jack: That's why-
Troll: Yeah, that's why they can't get shut down.
Chris: Mm.
Troll: [unintelligible] borders, plus it's cheaper to run sites over there, they have, like, several servers.
Chris: Hm.
Troll: Chris. Cassie wanted to talk to you, but she couldn't make it here, and well, she wants to be your Spanish teacher, because she says that you've got to improve your Spanish.
Chris: Oh. Oh, that Cassie. Yeah, I'm sorry, I thought you were- I got mixed up. Um... Yeah, um, I'm sorry, I, uh, I haven't talked to that- I haven't talked to Cassie in a while, but I've been mostly talking to, uh, her gal- her, uh, gal-pal and I'm sure- I'm sure she'd tell you a lot about her...

In which the trolls discuss bar fights

Troll: Hey Chris, how- how does Sonichu keep Rosechu from spending more than a hundred dollars at the mall? I've always wondered how he could manage to do that. I've always had problems with that myself.
Chris: [sigh] That wa- That time at the mall, it was, uh, Kel loaned the credit card. And it's like, yeah- she gave- she gave Sonichu the responsibility of that credit card. She did.
Troll: [unintelligible]
Clyde: Now, I've always given my advice on cannabis, you should do the [unintelligible], Chris, but I think she wants your response.
Jack: Chris, one of my friends sent me this picture, and I think you might find it kinda disturbing just because they say it's proof that you're gay.
Chris: Aw yeah, I saw that, that's just a crappy Photoshop.
Jack: No, that one doesn't- this one doesn't look Photoshopped at all.
Chris: Uh, I'm not gonna look at it.
Jack: Oh, you're not? Oh.
Troll: Chris, uh, you say you're against smoking?
Chris: Yeah. As a matter of fact, CWCville is a smoke-free, non-alcoholic city.
Jack: [partially drowned out] That's what we call a totalitarian state...
Troll: Oh, and, uh, in the pilot episode with Seth McFarlane, of, you know, Family Guy? He's always smoking. What do you think about that?
Clyde: Go smoke.
Troll: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah, I just- I just take that with a grain of salt, and, uh, you know, that's what--
Troll: I mean, if he can smoke, why can't anyone else? I mean, it's-
Chris: Because it causes cancer!
Jack: So does a lot of things.
Polly: It could be a prop pipe.
Chris: In any case, I'm not- in any, in any case I've never done it and I never will.
Troll: Yeah, but eating too much fast food can give you a heart attack. I mean... so many things are deadly for you.
Jack: What about fast food, Chris?
Chris: My father used to smoke and he went through a whole bunch of heart attacks. He suffered thr (is cut off)
Jack: Well, I think that might have to do more with his weight.
Chris: He suffered through three or four triple bypasses.
Cassie's Friend: Chris, I think that's.. that's more like a weight issue.
Chris: He has a pacemaker!
Troll: Chris, eh...
Clyde: Hey ya guys, leave him alone. Ya know, my granddad, he smoked most of his life. He quit for 25 years and still died of lung cancer. I mean that's just the way it is. And your body never gets rid of it.
Jack: Well yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
Troll: Chris, what about [pause] Chris, what about fast food? That's- that's bad for you.
Cassie's Friend: Hey Chris. Chris, could you do me a favor and send an email to Cassie? She's very worried about you.
Chris: Oh. Yeah sure, I'll send her an email later.
Cassie's Friend: Okay, thanks.
Jack: Well, uh. A certain someone you know...
Chris: No no.
Jack: She has to, uh, she wants to...
Cassie's Friend: Also, she said something about some hair.
Chris: Oh yeah. Yeah, that's uh... that's another issue right there. Um, hmmm. I'll talk to her about that.
Troll: Chris, does, uh, drinking cause cancer?
Chris: No, but it causes liver dysfunction and likely bar fights and automobile accidents.
Jack: Wait, bar fights, but— [Cut off by Chris]
Chris: Bar fights!
Jack: But I don't think that bar fights are that big of a problem.
Troll: I think bar fights are awesome. [everyone agrees bar fights are awesome]
Cassie's Friend: But bar fights are bad. I got into a bar fight once and one of my hands got cut and two fingers from my left hand. Bar fights suck.
Polly: [Unintelligible]
Jack: Well, I think that might be more because you're Mexican. Are you sure you didn't lose them picking bo- picking grapes and- or something?
Cassie's Friend: No, Mexican people are more more- more much macho man; we get into bigger fights. We're more awesome.
Jack: No- I think it might be because you got your hands stuck in some machinery when you were out picking in the vineyards.
Trolls: [unintelligible, talking over each other]
Troll: I don't know about you guys, but I like- I like having bar fights.
Trolls: [again talking over each other]
Clyde: You don't have to be drunk to be in a bar fight or in an automobile accident, right?
Chris: Yeah, but they increase the likeliness of it.
Clyde: You've been in an autobile—automobile accident. Were you drunk?
Chris: No, I was distracted.
Jack: Uh, by what? I mean, it's kinda hard to be dist— it just—[unintelligible]
Chris: I was doing math in my head.
Troll: Wait, math in your— [trolls talking over each other]
Chris: My mind got distracted by being its own calculator.
Troll: Are you good at math? [unintelligible]
Troll: That's impossible.
Chris: What?
Troll: Chris, are you like a mathematic genius or something?
(pause)
Cassie's Friend: You know some office people have like superpowers in their head. They can do like geniuses and add really well. [interrupted briefly] Chris you are already an artist. Do you have any magical powers?
Troll: Yeah, i heard autistic people are really good at math.
Chris: Mm. Well i'm not all these stereo- some of that sound like stereotypes.
Troll: [speaking over Chris] ...it has to do with mental ability...
Chris: I mean I don't know - i mean i'm not saying that i'm a total genius. I mean I know- I know enough to get by.
Clyde: What's the highest level of math you've taken Chris? (pause)
Chris: College level.
Clyde: [partly interrupted] -like calculus or...? (pause)
Chris: Yeah. I believe I just took trigonometry.
Clyde: Very impressive. (long pause)
Troll: So I was wondering. When did you get the CAD degree? Is that like a fine arts degree or something? I mean wha-
Chris: [interrupting] I designed a whole- I designed buildings and machinery and such along there. I designed the whole CWCVille shopping center.
Troll: Why don't you have a job then?
Clyde: Your fans would love to see that Chris.
Troll: So Chris-
Another Troll: [interrupting] So why don't you design like, actual buildings?
Chris: I think i just told you i designed the CWCVille sho-
Troll: [interrupting] I don't mean in your comic. I'm just saying-
Chris: Well it's a good st-
Troll: Chris...
Chris: Yeah?
Jack: So i heard you got some nudes up there on Youtube.
Chris: Uh, i'll be putting an update on da Youtube soon, but not right now.
Troll: I'm just thinking maybe you could like, you know, get a degree in game design and make the Sonichu game?
Clyde: Yeah man, it's not that hard to learn programming. C++ man
Troll: Clyde he hates you, why are you talking?
Clyde: I'm just giving him some advice, i mean C++ is-
Troll: [interrupting] Why are you here? We don't like you. You totally ruined Chris's life.
Clyde: I didn't ruin his life. He ruined his own life.
Troll: Yes you did. You've ruined his life. You raped his girlfriend.
[Literally everyone in the mumble speaks at once over each other]
Clyde: If he was the man he said he was, he'd have gone to Nintendo, made all that money. How- how are you going to make money now Chris?
Chris: Time will tell.
[everyone speaks again]
Troll: Yeah, time will tell Clyde.
Clyde: [unclear] -need a plan, you know?
Troll: I'm just thinking uh, if- uh- would you be interested in getting a degree in game design. Making the game or something? Like if you had to?
Chris: Hm. Maybe but uh- I still have things to sort out in my real life.
Troll: Yeah it's kinda unfortunate what happened with the Nintendo thing.
Chris: Yeah - hang on a second, i'll be right back. Mm- [clattering]
Clyde: So guys am I really that much of a bother. I mean...
Jack: Yeah you kind of are.
Troll: You're like a total dickfart.
Clyde: [muffled]
Troll: You realise weed causes cancer?
Jack: Yeah.
Troll: I didn't know that.
Jack: And it causes the munchies. You're gonna get fat Clyde.
Clyde: It's ok man because I work out.
Jack: Do you play Guitar Hero standing up?
Clyde: I play Guitar Hero while on the treadmill.
Polly: Will the Sonichu game be a- [muffled] -or a Wii one?
Jack: It be a Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Wii would like to play.
Polly: Oh. I only got a DS.
Cassie's Friend: Chris, I heard you are good at HTML. Why don't you make a HTML Sonichu game? That would be awesome.
Troll: I don't think you can make a game in HTML.
Chris: A- anyway I came back...
Troll: Chris? How many courses did you have to take to get that degree in CAD?
Troll: -pretty sure you can make a game in HTML-
Chris: [speaking over] I'm took abo- took about two- took about two years to four years.
Clyde: I mean, if you can write HTML you can write C++. Pretty simple man.
Chris: Hm. Well it's something i'll consider.
Troll: Clyde why are you talking to him? He hates you.
Clyde: I'm trying to give him some suggestions. I'm not insulting him, ok?
Troll: HTML seems kinda outdated, so to speak.
Chris: I learn- I took two HTML classes so at least I know how to do- at least I know the ins and outs when it comes to like, workin' on it in the raw data- in the notepad.
Cassie's Friend: So you don't use- [unintelligable]
Chris: [interrupting] I also use Net- also use Netscape composer.
[Someone starts singing]
Troll: I heard they went bankrupt or something.
Chris: I don't- i don- i don't listen to news because I don't care about bad news.
Troll: But that's not bad news that's stating...
[Talking over each other]
Jack: Why you gotta bring this bad vibe in here?
Troll: Ok ok i'll chill, i'm sorry it's just my wife- [can't hear over loud typing]
Cassie's Friend: Chris you don't hear about these ones in a while. Like yesterday some guy in my town got run over by a train and he- he died. And that's a really bad thing, you know but you have to hear about it.
Jack: Yeah but that's because you're Mexican. You Mexicans always play around the train tracks, what's with you?
(pause)
Clyde: No come on, don't be racist.
Cassie's Friend: It's because Mexicans are stupid. I'm suprised I can use a computer.
Polly: [muffled] -why do you have to be so mean?
Jack: 'Cause my mother was raped by a Mexican. And i'm part Me- [muffled]
Troll: I'm sorry man.
Polly: That isn't fair to take it out on every other Mexican out there.
Troll: His rule applied to millions. Just ignore him.
Jack: No i'm not my mother was raped by mexicans.
Clyde: CrassCrab i'm tired of listening to you, get out of here.
Cassie's Friend: Not all Mexicans are like that we- we- I am as Mexican guy. Not all Mexican guys are- [drowned out by typing]
Troll: Don't get me started on them. But that will be another day. Cause i'm sick of hearing bad news.
Troll: So Chris what are you uh- typing there?
Chris: Uh, i'm typing a email.
Troll: How many words can you type? How fast can you type? Sounding fast there.
Chris: Uhhh say about uh- sorta between thirty and a hundred.
Clyde: That's quite a good range man.
Troll: You're like "The Flash"
Other Troll: He wears the red jump-suit.
Polly: Oh Chris um- I was wondering- [unclear] -would it be uh a Wii game or a DS game or both. I only own DS and I don't have any money for a Wii.
Chris: [overlapping] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wii, DS and Pla- hopefully uh- possibly uh, Playstation 2 or 3. Never on Hex-Box.
Troll: When you gonna do this shit?
Cassie's Friend: Why don't you like the Hex-Box? I mean I have an Xbox, I would love to play online with you.
Troll: I'd like to say this. Before Chris says anything about that I just wanna say that today my wife came home from the mall shopping for her usual clothes, that Gucci purse i had to buy for her. You know what she came home with? I wanted a PS3 but you know what she gave me was a frickin' Xbox 360. The Elite one? [someone speaks over] I know, I kept telling her like "Honey this isn't what i wanted. I wanted the Playstation 3 so I can play LittleBigPlanet, Metal Gear Solid and Sonic Unleashed"
Chris: You can put Sonic Unleashed on the Hex Box as well as Wii.
Polly: [Too whiney to make out]
Troll: So Nintendo just- rejected your offer? Cause I- I heard a rumour that there was going to be a Sonichu game or something.
Cassie's Friend: Chris uh. Cassie wants you to send her your Wii number so she can talk to you on the Wii.
Chris: Alright uhhhhh. I'll get- have to get my Wii number now.
Cassie's Friend: Send it to her in an email please.
Troll: Yeah they completely hate Sony. And they hate Microsoft as well. I mean this guy, Reggie? He always talks about kicking their ass and stuff. He's kinda crazy.
Polly: I know. Reggie's very mean he never brought out [something] to America.
Troll: Yeah i wanted to play that game.
Clyde: [talked over] -i'm tellin' you guys. Reggie's just a great [unclear]
Polly: Like what?
Clyde: I can- I can't say anything ok but... you'll see.
Max?: So Chris.
Troll: Yeah so I don't think like if you got the deal with Nintendo I don't think they'd put it on like mu- like anyhting else but the Wii or DS. Yeah, cause that Reggie guy he frickin' hates Sony. And Microsoft.
Jack: Wasn't he also the head of VH1?
Polly: Or Pizza Hut.
Troll: Chris. What are your favourite places to eat at?
Polly: I remember um he [something] -but before that he was with Sega when Dreamcast was out.
Chris: Yup. Let me type this email please. I mean y'all keep talking i'll jsut listen.
Clyde: There's no reason to hate the Xbox. Let's be honest.
(pause)
Polly: Or um- Chris um- do you wanna release your game on Nintendo and on Sony. If you do talk to somebody like EA or something, you can like do um- multi-console thing like a (?) party thing.
Chris: [busy typing] Hmm. Well it's all to think about.
Polly: I mean Sega does third party now so um-
Chris: Yeah well i'm gonna keep typing this email here. Y'all keep talking.
[Sound of Chris typing]
Clyde: It's true, it's true.
Cassie's Friend: Chris. Chris I wanted to tell you that Cassie's going to be here any- any second so you can talk to her.
Chris: Oh. Hm. [continues typing]
Cassie's Friend: Don't you care about her?
Chris: [annoyed] I'm typin' da email to her right now!
Cassie's Friend: Oh ok.
Polly: Yeah um 360 is pretty bad um- it red-rings all the time.
Max?: I've had mine over two years. The same one. And it has not red-ringed yet.
Jack: Dude you have to pay $50 just so you can play online.
Chris: [echoing] Yeah. Yeah.
Jack: Yeah it's bullshit.
Chris: Yeah it's totally free on Playstation. And Wii.
Clyde: Chris. Chris. No no no no, I gotta talk about this. (long pause) Chris...
Chris: [interrupting] I get less connection problems myself.
Clyde: I can't let you get away with this Chris. You spent over $1000 on the Playstation Network. Ok? And you say you can't afford $50 for the Xbox? Terrible reason. That's a terrible reason.
Polly: Also, um, Cogs I had a friend of mine whose red-ringed a lot of times. She did not like it at all. She got herself a PS3 instead. [Chris is STILL typing]
Jack: I heard that like- the PS triple eats up a lot of energy and like- has like- burned houses down. Cause it messes up the- no but the PS3 really- [More of Chris typing then audio cuts out]
Clyde: So when's the next comic coming out Chris?
Chris: I can't say. I don't have a date for it right now. I've been busy with the- with real life and such. You know getting the s- getting the website back up and all that.
Polly: Oh but i've been waiting so long.
Clyde: Look, I gotta tell you something Chris. [something] -to the trolls but I haven't done anythin myself. It's run off into splinter groups doin' stuff to you. Ever since the Panda thing, I haven't done anything to you man. Everybody's been running round doing things. I have no control anymore. So i'm back here. This is why i'm back here. Do you understand?
Chris: Yeah. I hear you.

Transcription ends at 45:47

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