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Welcome to my wiki!
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I am a fat, autistic, self- centered man- child, who doesn't care about you, honest content, or any of that bullshit. I do not understand people, society, how to have a friend or how to entertain people, I pretend to to 'fool' people. If you actually believed me, go and dive out of your window now. My house is a public health hazard, somebody should destroy it. Kill me and my mom 'snorlax' while you're at it. In one of my crazy autistic sessions, I somehow decided you actually want to read about my life, which, I know, is complete and utter horseshit. But I'm too much of a lazy fatass to delete it. So, now there are loads of pile-of-shit pages you can read about my waste of a life and feel better about yourself.
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P.S. There are no pictures on this front page, because for once I understand how you feel and know you don't want to see my fat, aspie, perma-virgin, ass-lookalike face. Please troll my wiki to your heart's content, I guess its the only way it will ever be what you could relate to 'fun'. If you find any special needs, love- deprived, self centered assholes (such as myself) trying to moderate posts and support me, because they feel good having someone they can relate to, be sure to let them know the world is better off without them and nothing their mis-functioning, infant-mental-age brains can shit out all over the internet will actually help or interest anyone and people of their mentality should seek professional help, actually try to mould their obssessive fantasies into something helpful to society (yeah, they're gonna make the effort to do that (!), being as self- centered and socially exclusive as they are), or, most beneficial to moost people, commit suicide.
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<div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em; color:#000;">Welcome to the [[CWCki]]!</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">The premier encyclopedia on the lolcow [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-Chan]],<br>author of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', controversial [[YouTube]] personality,<br>[[transgender]] [[Messiah complex|goddess]], and [[:File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 25 August 2023.png|formerly]] [[Jail Saga|incarcerated]] [[Affair with Mother|mother fucker]].</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">'''''[[Passive observers|OBSERVE]] CHRISTORY. DON'T [[Unholy Tetrad|MAKE]] CHRISTORY.'''''</div>
<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%; text-align:center; font-size:85%;">We currently have [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles... and counting!</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">''"Any names, or persons, discussed in this wiki,<br> that may seem similar to anyone in real life, <br>are purely coincidental, or otherwise [[parody|parodic]]."''</div>
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That's my explanation for why this abominative waste of pixels exists, straight from the horse's ass. If you're still reading this, you are a fucking nerd, but hopefully you are at least bored out of your mind and wishing for me to stop, so I'll spare you the displeasure of hearing my autistic, toddler- logical bullshit any longer. Thank you.
 
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|file= Sonicrainboom.png
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|appearance = [[Jungle bells]]}}</div>
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[[Category:Special]]

Latest revision as of 19:06, 29 April 2024

Welcome to the CWCki!
The premier encyclopedia on the lolcow Chris-Chan,
author of Sonichu, controversial YouTube personality,
transgender goddess, and formerly incarcerated mother fucker.
OBSERVE CHRISTORY. DON'T MAKE CHRISTORY.
We currently have 2,614 articles... and counting!
"Any names, or persons, discussed in this wiki,
that may seem similar to anyone in real life,
are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic."
 CWCki Banner Introduction.jpg


v • d • e  
New to the CWCki? Here's how you can get started.
New? Start here!
Major articles
Sonichu
Love Quest
Fantasies
Internet
Important people
Important places
Mental Health
Editing the CWCki

v • d • e  
Check this out!
Chris meets GodBear • Watch & Win Sweepstakes • AN F IN ENGLISH CLASS?! • Slam attack! • Attraction Sign • "I'M STILL STUCK AS A VIRGIN WITH RAGE!" • Kick, Punch, it's all in the mind! • CWC is Angry • Masturbating and squirtin' • ShecameforCWC.JPG • Dykes...Dykes! CHINA! • Medallion Destruction • The Pickle Man tricked me again... • Boobies! Vaginas. Mmm... • I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD! • DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS • I'm cuttin it down! • JULAAAY! • Ohio trip • Medallion up the ass • Date with Emily • I'll be in your dreams! • Holding Out For a Hero • GONNA STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! • MAKE YOU EAT YOUR UNDERWEARRRRR! • I have your mugshot... • Pyong, pyong, pyong! • Bottoms up! • I get BLANGRY! • Grand number of pounds • Crazy nudie audition • I love you so much, I love you so muuuuuch! • I got a fish! • Rollin' and Trollin' • BURN IN HELL! • OK2BGay • Chris humps his PS3 • SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE • SingStar Challenge • MY! NAME! IS! NOT! IAN! BRANDON! SOMETHING! • DIEEEEEEE YOU! • I've got a little Chun-Li within me. • OFF! THE! INTERNET! • Sign Destruction Video • Half-and-half! • Chris Loses It • Chris Did 9/11 • Father Call • BUDDHA BELLY AND EXAGGERATED MANBOOBS! • Patti will have your soul tonight! • Alec Benson Leary calls • CURSE-YE-HA-ME-HA! • Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots! • Trolling stupid pickle suited... • JEW! • Fridays After Five • JenkinsJinkies • Chris writes underage gay erotica • Chris destroys his PS3 • Mr Popo Cosplay • DivineTrial • Electric Hedgehog power! • Chris Chan's a real nigga! • Tomgirl pictures • Cakefarts • Goodbye Horses • Chris Rocks Out • Chris and his mom do a hit-and-run • Burning down the house • Sonic's arms are NOT blue! • Don't call anybody! • HelloLadyFans • Proposition to Sega • Frozen Semen • Please have my babies. • Stephanie Bustcakes • Die, Trump, die! • DIY Vagina • Do not hate! Hate is not so good. • #HarassCWCdirectly • Chris dances with Magi-Chan • Q&A NO MORE! • Get Out, You D*** Nazis • Dick Licker; that is I • Hey now, you're an All-Star! • TooManyGames meltdown • AY, YOU TOILET! • Chris kisses Cryzel • Chris screams at the camera • Just keep reading... • The Last Will and Testament of Chris-Chan • THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES. • HASBROOOOOOO! • The Point of No Return • The Perp Walk of Shame • I am Literally also Jesus Christ • It was all my Mom's Idea • Pinned Down at the Nuthouse • AND I BRING, PERSONALLY, THE SECOND COMING. • Team Rocket's stupid! • You shipped me with that Snorlax!

Meta: Love Quest • Transgender • Business • Financhu Crisis • Roleplay • Dimensional Merge

Pre-Christory: Early Childhood • Nathaniel Greene • Leonard Bearstein • High School

Early Adult Chronicles: PVCC • Megan • Stackhouse

Classic Chris: ED • Blanca • GAMePLACe • Jimmy Hill • Clyde Cash • PandaHalo • Miyamoto • Julie • PSN Hacking • Emily • Ivy • Vanessa • CWCipedia • Liquid • Asperchu • Tito

Dark Ages: First Exile • Jackie • Calling Out • Second Exile

Renaissance: Catherine • Sonic Boom • Lady Managers • Pmurt • Doopie • Quinn

Transcendental Awakening: Idea Guy • Prequel Comic • Guard Dog • TTS • GOPony • Jacob

Rise-N-Fall: Copitz • TF2 Analysis • Secret Shipfic • Watchmen • Praetor • Warhol • Incest

Silent Years: Jail • Third Exile

Second Coming: Revelations

Body: Drugs • Fashion • Gender • Health • Nutrition • Sex

Psyche: Coping • Manipulation • Mental healthcare • Nostalgia • Reality

Personality: Anger • Ego • Hypocrisy • Kindness • Negligence • Personality • Remorse • Stress

Expression: Art • Censorship • English • Language • Music • Oratory • Spanish • Writing

Society: Contests • Death • The Law • Politics • Race • Religion • Sexuality • Socialization • Sports

Business: Brand loyalty • Business • Copyright • Money • Negotiation • Work

Technology: Cameras • Electronics • The Internet • Science • Television • Video Games
2003 • 2004 • 2005 • 2006 • 2007 • 2008 • 2009 • 2010 • 2011 • 2012 • 2013 • 2014 • 2015 • 2016 • 2017 • 2018 • 2019 • 2020 • 2021 • 2022 • 2023 • 2024

Quote of the Now

“ Hi Christine,

Thank you for your interest in attending BABSCon 2024. We are sorry, but we are unable to accommodate you at our convention due to potential violations of our Code of Conduct.

As such, you are persona non grata at BABSCon 2024 and future BABSCon events, and you will not be allowed to attend. To be explicit; this is a formal notification that you are banned from BABSCon events.

We identified and have voided the two 'Canterlot Pony' badges purchased under your [redacted]@aol.com email address; as an act of good faith, we have issued a full refund on the purchase of those badges.

Best regards,

BABSCon

”
BABSCon in an email to Chris.

Article of the Week

Star wars.jpg

Star Wars is a film and media franchise created by George Lucas and produced his company Lucasfilm. It begun with 1977's Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, which was released to critical and commercial acclaim and is now considered to be one of the best movies of all-time. The popularity of the first installment lead to two more sequels, 1980's Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, and 1983's Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. The franchise is now a cultural icon, and has spawned legions of parodies, and book and television companions, as well as a prequel trilogy, consisting of 1999's Episode I: The Phantom Menace, 2002's Episode II: Attack of the Clones, and 2005's Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, and a sequel trilogy, made up of 2015's Episode VII: The Force Awakens, 2017's Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, and 2019's Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker, as well as a handful of spin-off films and television projects like 2016's Rogue One, 2018's Solo, and 2019's The Mandalorian.

The series was also parodied in a trilogy of hour-long Family Guy specials (which actually had the approval and involvement of Lucasfilm themselves), which is the most likely reason why Chris knows about the franchise in the first place. He has stated on several occasions that he likes the franchise, and has taken influence from it on certain occasions. He particularly likes the character Ahsoka Tano, who was first introduced as a teen girl in the 2008 animated series The Clone Wars.

(More...)

This Day in Christory

Oh, God, no.

Today in Christory, in 2009, Chris's memorable video ECV 00095 is linked to from Fark [1], leading to 200,000+ views in 24 hours, and attention Chris could only have dreamed of on that fateful day he created Sonichu.

(more...)

Did You Know...

  • ... that Chris spends a lot of time in his bedroom, in spite of a traumatic experience with a babysitter locking him in there?
  • ... that YouTuber GenoSamuel2.1 has a documentary series on Chris that is 85 episodes long, and still going?
    • ... and that Chris [DMed him] after seeing the series?
  • ... that Chris believes that he could influence the international company Hasbro to cancel a My Little Pony reboot because he told them that the characters didn't like being in it?
  • ... that Chris really cannot dance?
  • ... that Chris recycled his own semen by drinking it?
    • ... and that Chris believed that drinking Fanta before cumming would give his semen the same taste?
    • ... and that Chris mixed semen with Fanta?
  • ... that Chris wishes you a hoppy Easter?
  • ... that in the Tour of Christian's House, Chris called his family a bunch of pack rats?
  • ... that Chris has said Niggos only once, but has used the actual N-word multiple times?
    • ... That Chris was under the influence of trolls when he said those words?
  • ... that Chris’s father's idea of kids games is Playing With Gutter Rats In the Sewer?

Improvement Projects of the Now

GO WORK ON IT!

The article in desperate need of improvement at the moment is the Golden Church of Sonichu.

The following long-term projects to improve the wiki are also needed:

  • A backlog of chats that extends back several years, to finish adding to chat pages or mention in articles. Some chats are still archived on Kiwi Farms only and need to be saved elsewhere.

Shirt of the Week

The Sonic Rainboom!

From the Business saga:

Appeared in Jungle bells.

Da Update

CWCki News.png
It is currently May 2024. It has been...
41
 day(s) since Chris was last spotted in public.
We highly advise against seeking out Chris in any way.
Current Updates


Recently Uncovered Info


CWCki News

CWCki wants you by Java Jake.png
Account Creation
NOTE: You must be 18 years or older to get an account.

Account creation for the CWCki is open. To request an account, contact a CWCki Jerkop. They can be reached at -

the Official CWCki Server Discord - message:

  • Hurtful Truth Level, or
  • Larry the Larryhog

Official CWCki Server Discord • CWCki Club forum • r/ChrisChanSonichu

Check out the Official CWCki Server Discord, and the section about Chris at the CWCki Club forums, and the Chris Chan subreddit, full of lively and often times thoughtful discussions on Chris and Sonichu. (Use the wiki talk pages or the CWCki-related channels in the Discord for article-related discussions).

Picture of the Now

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Video of the Now

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