July 25, 2014 Leaks

On 25 July 2014, a brief conversation between Chris and an anonymous male friend was leaked onto the CWCki Forums. The chat took place from 28-30 June 2014.

The main topic of the conversation is dating. As one might expect, Chris expects this "friend" to do all of the work of contacting women while he lays back and waits for the ladies' responses. However, the friend refuses to be a wingman, instead offering some good advice about how to initiate conversation that doesn't make him sound like a stilted robot. Chris indignantly insists that his way "IS FAR SUPERIOR". He also believes that Kacey was one of the few gal-pals with whom he had a chance, and said friend has to remind him that she was a troll.

Interestingly, when the friend reveals that he doesn't have a girlfriend, Chris starts to be a bit more condescending, (even calling him "kid" at one point), rounding the chat off by telling him that he needs to get laid. However, the friend seems to not have as loose morals as Chris, pointing out that hiring a hooker is a terrible way to find TRUE and HONEST love. Chris, of course, ignores this and tries to push his "Abstinence is a Big Joke" mantra on him.

Chris's awful grasp of the value of a dollar resurfaces here. He begs for gas money, but his friend points out that Chris should have money from his art sales. Chris reveals that $200 he recently made on a commission went to food and necessities, but also a payment on a Toys R Us card, presumably to feed his need for Legos. He also claims that the sale of his dad's violin went towards feeding himself and Barb.

The Conversation

June 28-29

[censored]: What is this task?

cwc: Alright. [censored] has set up a new OKCupid account for me with some info in the Profile, which I updated some of which. She had chosen and contacted a few women on there, but her choices were, shall we say, visible mite over a guessing 200 per woman (I state that with no offense meant to any of them). I prefer the average to slender; Maybe some small amount of tummy over, you may understand. [censored] gave up on contacting women for me; she did try very well to help me the best she was able to. I got a spot of nerve to contact a few myself, but no one replied. I asked [censored]; entrusted her with the details; she must have been too busy with her own life. Now, I am settling for the "rest", so to speak. I am STILL very shy, and I have been very busy and stressed lately. I am asking you to find and contact some women local to me (with at least 50% match, and acceptable body type; no black women (not a racist; I just really do not feel comfortable dating them, and I have hung out with a few black women in my time; I [message cuts off] Also, to take you up on your previous offer, can you PayPal me $20 for Gasoline, or rush a Sheetz gift card of the amount? The tank in our van is running low.

[censored]: I thought you had money now. how do you expect me to help contact women? i don't know anybody in virginia. i'm sorry [censored] didn't visit you.

"A drawing piece with her drag race car."

cwc: Money has become tight again; went through the commission from Jennifer quick; a drawing piece with her drag race car. $200 went quick in my mother's shopping list and food, as well as the payment on my Toys R Store [sic] card. Anyway... You do not have to know anything about here to pretend to be me in a greeting. Do what you would normally do when flirting with a woman to get her response. I may even learn from you. All I'm asking is for you to find them and begin conversations with the first message. You won't have to send more than one message per woman.

cwc: I find it awkward and difficult for me to make the first conversation move in the message. I seem to come off awkward or something. They're not responding. Just do what is normal: spot the best matches (high income with a job for her would be good), start the conversation with your version if [sic] "Hey there, Good-Lookin"" [sic] or whatever, and flirty openers. OKCupid finds the women in Virginia. You don't have to know them personally. Check their Profile, Photos and Details. Oh, and Do Not answer any questions on OKC's Q&A set; I have already answered hundreds of them. Fair enough?

[censored]: Chris, you're asking me to commit fraud by false identity by pretending to be you. what kind of groceries does your mom need $200 for??!!

cwc: Alright forget the money. It is not fraud. All I am asking is making Greetings, Not entire conversations. I am not a flirting artist, and I more often than naught [sic] Blank Mind Out and Freeze Up.

cwc: Look, here's the info; log in and see for yourself. Username: LevelUpKing [censored]

[censored]: Look, i can give you advice on what you should say, but i'm not going to do it for you.

cwc: Alright. I am listening.

[censored]: Don't use pickup lines. just tell her you think she's cool and you want to chat.

cwc: Really; "I find you very cool; would you like to chat a while over a light beverage?" Is it REALLY THAT Simple?!!

[censored]: The way you put it looked stilted and unnatural, have you listened to how people actually talk?

cwc: I have listened to how people talk throughout my life. Stilt and Unnatural; NOW do you see why I require Someone else to do the greetings for me, or that SHE has to make the first move?!

[censored]: It was just so... Fake. you can't just be talking to them to get a girlfriend. you need to be genuinely interested in the person and stop being self conscious and she'll talk to you. asking for a beverage date in the first message is a bad idea. i meant just chat in messages. it looks like you only know how to talk about yourself. ask her what her favorite things are and why she likes them and she'll blab for ages.

cwc: I am well aware to let her talk about herself and all that. I was not meaning to sound fake; it is called sincerity. Yeah, in any case, it is Not that simple.

[censored]: I'm sorry to tell you this, but i'm not a big ladies man myself. i only have gal pals.

cwc: What?!! I thought this whole time you were the total opposite of what you are saying now. Seriously?!.... UGH!!! You are really letting the oxygen out of my tank here!!!

[censored]: Why did you think that? i told you those things when you first contacted me. in any case the stuff i'm telling you is not irrelevant. i used to be like you and had to learn how to socialize. tell me, do you really want to have a beverage with strangers you don't evem [sic] know yet from a dating site?

cwc: Call me Old, and Old-Fashioned, but I Super Seriously Feel that conversation over a light beverage in a public place shortly after first contact, IS FAR SUPERIOR. Why the hell (now after all of the deceptive theoretical exes I have had to suffer after each breakup before meeting; all of them never really got to know me In Person. The Only Exception being that one woman liked me through that brown shirt Fake me (her name escapes my memory at the moment); She actually met me in person and liked ME better for the while until when he faked his hostage shit then flew the coop, leaving her at the alter. [sic] I will not be having extensive conversations with damn faking Anons (for all I would know) upon initial; SHE HAS to Meet Me In Person Near Immediately, and therefore I extend the invitation to a pleasant conversation and light beverage in the public setting. I am NOT going to wait WEEKS TO MONTHS to Hopefully meet up, only to be Broken Up before we even Really got started AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. UGH!!!! Also, either I missed that detail when you stated it, or more likely I ended up forgetting it. My bad. Also, either I missed that detail when you stated it, or more likely I ended up forgetting it. My bad. Also, either I missed that detail when you stated it, or more likely I ended up forgetting it. My bad. [sic (as in he really sent this three times)]

[censored]: That girl with the fake chris was kacey. they were both trolls. she never cared about you. i hate dating sites. don't they go against your beliefts of meeting people in person?

[censored]: Do you think [censored] likes you?

cwc: Who?

[censored]: That girl defending your Facebook statuses, she looks legit. i think you should private message her and tell her thank you. she likes legos.

cwc: ??? I can't find her; does she have a username different from "[censored]?"

"Flight Over Cwcville."

"Bananasaur plays Scrabble with Punchy."

cwc: I am drawing Mazarea in a "Flight Over Cwcville" with Angelica now. Shortly after this is done, Bananasaur plays Scrabble with Punchy.

[censored]: Her username is [censored] (on your violin status)

[censored]: Those drawings sound awesome. can we pm on Facebook? it takes a long time for me to text.

cwc: Found her; she's okay looking in her photos. I'll ask you to communicate with her further to verify her identity, and let you get back to me.

cwc: Nah, I'm not changing my window, and besides I will need to get back to work. BTW...

cwc: Seriously, though, for your consideration, do yourself a really big favor: go on Craigslist for your area; find yourself a ho to play with; dump your virginity. For me it was the BEST thing I was ever able to do for myself, TWICE. Now I don't feel as bad, because I won't be dying an untouched virgin. And I have not obsessed about sex so much since then. Plus, she was a nice woman (the one I did it with); caring mother of two; half Cherokee; she was really good. You pick yourself a winner from your local area, kid. Give yourself the life-changing event, and you won't have to worry about it anymore. Alright, I'll check ya later.

[censored]: You're talking about a prostitute! do you even know how horrible that is?

[censored]: [censored] told me she is not a troll.

cwc: Quote me now: Abstinence is a Really Big, Bad Joke. I will need more to go on than "I am not a troll" Anyway, take my advice as you will and suit yourself. But I am serious: Abstinence is a Really Big, Horrible Joke.

[censored]: id you finish the drawings?

cwc: Yes

cwc: They will be shipped as late as this coming Tuesday.

cwc: All four of them have their certificates and are in a yellow envelope with your name and address on it.

June 30

[censored]: So they are all in the post office?

Bob's violin for sale.

cwc: I am afraid not yet, because I am still short funded. To make sure my family and I were fed after the last paid commission input, I required a more quick way to withdraw from PayPal than transferring to the bank(two or so DAYS). And I found out Target online accepts PayPal, so I purchased gift cards to buy us food more swiftly. Too much. We will be getting our SSI tomorrow, or I may finally get a check in the mail from a dude who intends to buy the violin. He mailed it like last Tuesday from CT. Not sure if it's US or Canada CT or whatever.

[censored]: Text me when it all ships.

cwc: Will do

[censored]: I am sorry i overreacted. i was slow in the mind and had bad judgement.

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