Kacey Call 6

31 August 2009

• Chris got some calls from a troll pretending to be from gamefaqs.com (Chris pronounces "GameFAQs" as if "faqs" is a word).
• Chris thinks he defeated a troll by calling him back and telling him to shut the fuck up.
• Chris's parents drop him off at the mall so he can draw comics while they go use their senior discount at Ihop.
• If Chris went to Ihop with his parents it would "mess things up" because they're using their senior discount to buy Chris sandwiches.
• Chris wrote a list of nice discussion topics because he doesn't want Kacey to yell at him again.
• First topic: Hannah Montanna. Kacey says it's for 12 year old girls, Chris thinks it's pretty good and wants to buy it on Blu-Ray.
• Second topic: Chris's college days. His first good memory is the time a hypnotist came and included Chris in his act.
• First the hypnotist wanted Chris to insult him, so Chris called him "Uncle Screwy Louie". He still thinks it's funny.
• Then the hypnotist said "when you open your eyes you'll see everyone naked". Chris didn't really see anyone naked, but he played along as smiled at the ladies.
• Another good college memory is when he was included in a quiz show game. Chris didn't make it very far, but at least he tried.
• Chris was in touch with his "girl crush" Kellie Andes for a while after graduation; recently he found out she's married with two children.
• Chris could tell by looking a prom picture of her that she was already taken by some guy, when he saw that it put him into shock for a while.
• Chris made a few friends and acquaintances at PVCC, "but they kinda came and gone", especially after he got kicked out of English class. He "became shy" after that.
• Chris talks about a teacher, or as Chris calls him "this one black guy" at PVCC, and how upon first being there he "had bad vibes about him". He picked almost as many arguments as his father! Chris says the teacher would constantly put him down and what-not, with mean insults like "That's not right, do it over bla bla bla"... Kacey points out that's not putting him down, that's teaching. Chris did not like his tone of voice. "The way he carried on and such. He talked more calmly to the other students, I actually observed."
• Chris was happy to graduate from PVCC, because "It felt more like a Hellhole than Heaven". Chris was sad to graduate from High School, because he didn't receive any awards.
• He's still whining about not getting any awards; he got a star pin but "that's SMALL in comparison to other awards". Kacey tells him to stop being childish and grow the fuck up; Chris ignores her and whines more.
• Chris watched Labyrinth because it's Kacey's favorite movie. Kacey talks about David Bowie's "bulge"; Chris gets uncomfortable and tries to change the subject because he is STRAIGHT.
• Chris "tried reading" Harry Potter but couldn't get into it. Also competition with Pokemon or whatever.
• Chris suddenly tard rages because a troll keeps calling him. He doesn't understand why he keeps calling after Chris told him to stop.
• Kacey asks what books Chris has read recently. He of course says Pamela Anderson's Star, then admits he hasn't read anything else. Kacey tells him he should read Catch 22. Chris thinks a "Catch 22" is a kind of "sexual touch".
• The only books Chris owns are Goosebumps and Fear Street.
• He also read The Giver, so he spends like five minutes recounting what happens in that book.
• Chris tries claiming that he has multiple personalities, Kacey tells him he's full of shit.
• Chris says he JUST NOW changed over to his other personality, so now he's Christopher instead of Christian. He is serious.
• "Christopher" says he only caught some of the conversation and doesn't know what's going on.
• Kacey tells him he might have a brain tumor.
• Christopher gives up and says he just switched back to Christian.
• Christian says "Christopher" came out recently while he was playing Guitar Hero. He thinks there is a difference between his two personalities' voices.
• Chris says he'll talk to his doctor about this serious problem.
• Kacey isn't taking his stupidity seriously, so Chris suddenly backtracks and says he just made up this multiple personality shit to mess with the trolls.
• Chris stopped taking some of his meds and now he feels more confident.
• Chris has been taking Lipitor for the last 2 years to keep his cholesterol down. He's like "It was optional, but I thought it was a good idea".
• Chris says he mostly eats grilled chicken sandwiches from McDonald's. He thinks this is healthy. He also only eats Hungry Man dinners "once or twice" a month, mostly he eats Healthy Choice frozen dinners.
• Chris says he walks about an hour a day around the neighborhood, and thinks this is "strenuous".
• Kacey thinks Chris is going to die.

Transcript

Chris: Hello?
Kacey: Hey Chris, it's Kacey.
Chris: Hi Kace, how are you?
Kacey: I'm okay, just a little tired from work, how are you?
Chris: Uh, I'm okay, I'm a little too tired from uh, being trolled.
Kacey: Aw.
Chris: I keep answering incoming calls from the trolls. Uh, especially, uh, to- Especially, uh, you know, incoming calls from the one... troll who pretended to be an employee over at GAME FACKS [sic] dot com- You know, G-A-M-E F-A-Qs, uh... Anyway, uh... They say- Anyway, they say it was the guy that's been ordering all the uh, free catalogues and boxes and what-not, sending 'em to my house with the stupid Ian Brandon Anderson name on the address. Uh, yeah but I'm handling that and dealing with--
Kacey: Well you should tell them to fuck off and leave you alone. I mean...
Chris: I'm sorry, what?
Kacey: You should tell 'em to fuck off and leave you alone. They won't be expecting that.
Chris: Yeah, my father- My father did tell them that. Actually, after we got home from the uh, church yesterday, he told 'em that. And they called a couple more times today and he's finally giving up.
Kacey: Yeah but you shouldn't be bothering your father with that, I mean YOU should be able to do it.
Chris: Yeah well I mean--
Kacey: You should be able to fight your own battles.
Chris: Yeah I mean- I mean, he's been calling the house phone and my father- And my mom and dad have been ans- Have been monitoring his calls with their caller I.D. which is downstairs. In their lair only.
Kacey: Well then they shouldn't pick up either.
Chris: Hm. Yeah well mostly they do not pick up. Uh, anyway, also this, uh, guy... that pretends to be a legal rep from- from uh, [Sounds like "Van Dye", somebody correct this]? Van Dye or something... Yeah he's practically calling non-stop, and that's just been- That's just been bothering to me. I finally- I finally managed to to, uh- I think I finally shut him up though. Uh, yeah--
Kacey: I think you should just keep telling them to fuck off, I think you need to take a better offensive stance on this. They're not going to expect that from you, you just need to be like... Like, just be strong.
Chris: Yeah, you think I haven't tried telling 'em to uh, to back- to back the fuck off, I have done that before.
Kacey: Yeah but you really have to be a man about it, you need to really say it in a tone, you can't show them any fear, any whining or anything, you need to just WOW them.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah well anyway, I think I finally got- I finally got the Van Dye guy to shut up, I, uh, you know, I called him back and I told him to call toll-free HIS phone number, OR shut the fuck up and stop calling my cell phone number. And then I said goodbye and hung up on him.
Kacey: Well, that's a good start.
Chris: Yeah. (Forced laugh) Yeah, so anyway, um...
Kacey: Well if you've got their numbers you should call back and do that yourself, I mean, don't wait for them to come on your turf, you need to show them you mean business.
Chris: Yeah...
Kacey: I mean, they have your number anyways, it's not like it would hurt.
Chris: Yeah, I should definitely be calling 'em back and telling 'em to, uh... Yeah. I will do that. Uh, but anyway--
Kacey: Yeah, shouldn't let them take control of you. You need to control THEM.
Chris: Yeah.
Kacey: Turn the tables, you know.
Chris: Yeah. I will do that. I will do that, but any- Yeah. Anyway, something else on my mind, my father and I were planning on going down to Social Security tomorrow or Wednesday, talking about what they can do for us with the, uh, job and all that.
Kacey: Well that's good, I mean it is on the website though, so it shouldn't harm you, but maybe they'll have someone who can help you through, but remember, don't let them do everything for you, and you should probably do it tomorrow, you know... Just because, I mean why not get it done as soon as possible?
Chris: Yeah. Well--
Kacey: Get it done faster.
Chris: Yeah--
Kacey: That will surely show those trolls.
Chris: Yeah. You know one thing though, uh... I would do it myself but unfortunately I don't know the right questions to ask, my father is the one that has- has more knowledge about that sorta thing, so yeah. But definitely like, uh--
Kacey: But you need to get the knowledge. So, YOU should be doing this, your dad can't do this for you, this is about you being independent.
Chris: Yeah I know, but I don't know the right questions to ask.
Kacey: Well, they're gonna show you what you have to do, I mean the... It's common sense what questions you're gonna have to ask. Like, "How much can I make? How many hours can I do?" this is stuff you already know, you shouldn't sell yourself short.
Chris: Yeah--
Kacey: Or ask your dad beforehand. Don't make him do it for you, just be like-- See you don't even have to ask him, just be like "Do you have any suggestions?"
Chris: Yeah I--
Kacey: This is something that you need to do yourself.
Chris: Yeah I need to ask suggestions, yeah. I should probably ask him to write down the right list of questions for me. But then he'll probably- Then he'll likely insist on wanting to come and, uh- Yeah, come along anyway. And plus like, you know, yeah, my mom's just finally offered me to, uh, to uh, to drive her car today, but unfortunately I had to let her drive, yeah, she was going to IHOP, and I wanted to do some- get some drawing done at the mall while we were out, uh, cuz you know, if I'm not going to [indecipherable] family, but they would drop me off at the mall while they're at IHOP, cuz if I go with them to IHOP that will mess up their uh, senior discount deal. And then they might not be able to get me the sandwiches that I would have- The sandwich I would have that night. It's a pretty good sandwich, by the way.
Kacey: You got a sandwich from IHOP? That's like, the International House of Pancakes.
Chris: Yeah well, my family gets like a senior discount, and uh...
Kacey: But what does that have to do with pancakes, it's pancake house!
Chris: (Laughs) Well, they sell sandwiches there. Heh, I mean--
Kacey: But, you go to IHOP for pancakes...
Chris: Heh, well I'm sure my mom and dad would have eaten pancakes themselves there, but I mean I don't know, but you know, it's their- Order pancakes at the uh, International- Over at the IHOP... (Uncomfortable laugh) I don't know... Plus, I don't know all the details of the uh, senior citizens discount, though anyway if I went with them there, uh, it would just mess things up. I mean I know we- We know, we tried it once before, and they- Yeah, it just really messed it up.
Kacey: Messed what up?
Chris: The senior discount deal.
Kacey: Oh.
Chris: I mean the people at the, uh, resturaunt place are, uh, fairly strict.
Kacey: Yeah I'm surprised they even have a senior discount deal, I mean my resturaunt doesn't.
Chris: Yeah, but it's like once a week though. Only on Monday nights.
Kacey: Okay, well back to the Social thing, I mean... I think you need to tell your parents that this is something you need to do, you need to face the world on your own. It'll be a great learning experience for you and you'll be with people who are there to help you. So it's not gonna hurt you or anything.
Chris: Alright, we'll I'll- I'll talk to my father and see- See if he'll write me the correct list of questions and let me go by myself.
Kacey: I mean plus they're gonna take you a LOT more seriously if you're coming to them yourself. They're gonna look at you with your parents and they're gonna be like, "This guy doesn't want help". They're gonna... not help you. They're going to do it resentfully.
Chris: Hm. Yeah.
Kacey: I mean that's just the way the world works, unfortunately, that's the way they're gonna see it.
Chris: Yeah it's like a dog eat dog world, well you're right, I see- I see- I see it from your point of view, I get it. Hm. Anyway, I- Anyway, let me, uh- Anyway, uh... Anyway, other than that, I did come up with some nice, uh, discussion topics that you and I could talk about. You know, like a couple of days ago, but then uh... Then you brought up the maturity, telling me all that... It's like I couldn't get the, uh, conversation topics I managed to write--
Kacey: Okay well if you have them, go ahead and bring them out, that'd be cool.
Chris: Alright. Alright, well... Here's a good one, uh, let's talk about my feelings on Hanna Montanna, your feelings- Your, uh... We could- we could further your- Your- Destination of your feelings about her. And that show.
Kacey: Oh, um, well, Hanna Montanna's like a guilty pleasure for me, because you know, it's a show for like 13 year-old little teeny-boppers, and I really shouldn't be watching it.
Chris: Heh.
Kacey: But, I mean, it's cool, Miley Cyrus is so talented.
Chris: Well I mean I--
Kacey: But it's really for teeny-bopper girls.
Chris: Yeah well I mean, I've only seen like a couple of episodes of the show, yeah, but from what I recall, you know, yeah, she's- she's pretty good. But it's like you know, I mean I could get into like, you know, watching more of the show myself, I just uh, hadn't really gotten around to it, or... Just hadn't really felt like it but it's like you know, I could. I mean you know they released season one on DVD, plus they have the uh, movie on Blu-Ray, I could rent that, or... rent the season one or whatever.
Kacey: Right.
Chris: Uh... but anyway yeah--
Kacey: Remember how I said I wanted to talk about more ADULT topics, and I just mean mature topics? Do you have any of those?
Chris: Uh... Well, kind of, we could talk about college- We could talk about my college days.
Kacey: Okay, go ahead.
Chris: You know, just uh- I mean I could reminisce a bit about uh... You know, between high school days and eventually leading on to college days. Got the rundown here (?)... Let's see...
Kacey: Okay well tell me about college.
Chris: Um... Yeah, okay, I only have like a couple of good memories from my college days, like uh, you know... Uh, there was this one time, where uh... This good- Where this hypnotist came in, and uh, he- And then I- And then he let me uh, get up on stage and be one of the uh, subjects. But it's like, I wasn't really hyp- I wasn't really hypnotized. But I, like, played along with it, I mean I actually knew what was going on.
Kacey: Okay...
Chris: And I think uh... Hang on, let me see if I can remember what happened. Um... Yeah I think at one point, uh... He wanted me to, like, insult him a little bit, when he said a cue. And it's like, uh... Yeah, it's like yeah, okay, I got it, when you say the word you'll want me to insult you, and it was like I couldn't- I tried to think of a good insult but I don't know, I just came up with like you know, just calling him "Uncle Screwey Louie". (Waits for Kacey to laugh)
Kacey: Ohh.
Chris: (Laughs) I don't know why that- That little- He just.. Just a silly stupid name. Uncle Screwy Louie. Heh.
Kacey: Yeah. (Laughs politely)
Chris: Yeah then like you know, later he's like you know, oh, then everyb- Then he says, like you know, he says at a certain point everybody opens their eyes and then... It's like- We're supposedly like to see everybody... naked- Everybody in the audience naked, and freak out or something. It's like, uh, you know, I- I opened my eyes and I didn't really see anybody naked, I saw everybody with their clothes on. But it's like you know, I played along and I just sat there and smiled. Heh. At the ladies in the audience. (Laughs) Yeah. And then he says like you know he gave me another cue like yeah, "Chicago", then everybody- Then we all- Then we all danced. A little bit.
Kacey: Uh-huh.
Chris: And it's like I did my fill of dancing, he touched my shoulder and told me to sit down, there you go. Uh, I think that was pretty much- I think that was pretty much it as far as I can remember from that day.
Kacey: That's cool.
Chris: Uh, anyway, uh, anyway another- Anyway another good memory I have from the college days is like you know I participated in a quiz sh- In uh, this one time, in a quiz show event. Uh... It was like you know, one of those remote con- One of those things where they hand you a remote control and you answer the- and you answer the uh, questions while you're in a seat. And if you're amongst the uh, top four scorers you get to go to a- You get to go and uh, be one of the uh, buzzers on the panel to uh, win the mon- win the prize money. Try and win the prize money. Uh, obviously I did not even get up there- I did not even get the chance to get up there, but, you know, I tried anyway.
Kacey: Well, at least you tried, that's all you can ask for.
Chris: Yeah. Oh, another thing I uh, feel like I should mention, uh, remember- I think I remember telling you a little bit about my high school crush Kellie An- Kellie Andies?
Kacey: Uh-huh...
Chris: Yeah, uh, after we graduated I was in touch with her for like about a year and a half after that, and then it's like I-- I missed calling her one weekend, and then it's like I sorta- I lost the habit. And then like a- And then like a couple of months- A couple of months, uh... earlier recent- Couple of months ago recently, I found that she had been... Excuse me. She had been married and she has like, one or two children. So...
Kacey: Oh.
Chris: That's good for her then, anyway. But it's like you know, uh, I, you know, after I stopped the uh, habit my mom made me- My mom told me like you know- Oh yeah I can tell from like, you know, just from looking at her like, like in... The prom... The, uh... Yeah she was obviously already taken by this- By some guy. And it's like- I was like oh my God, I was in shock for a while. I think it was like for a couple of weeks or a couple of months. Maybe- Yeah, somewhere between there.
Kacey: (Not really listening) Oh that's cool.
Chris: Yeah, but anyway, I lost touch with her and that was like a downfall. Uh, I've made a few friends and acquaintances since uh, Piedmont. But they kinda like came and gone. And it's like you know, mostly like GONE, because since, you know, after- Especially gone since after February 24th 2003, which was- that was the, uh... 21st birthday I got kicked outta the English classroom, so it's like you know, I couldn't make- I just didn't- I uh, just didn't feel like- I just didn't... I just became shy, and didn't make as many friends as I was able to beforehand. And then the uh, and then the uh, Sweetheart Search and Mary Lee Walsh, uh... Going on and all that. And then I got banned for a year and the anger management and the... I got the anger managment from the uh, psychiatrist's class, I think I told you about that. Uh, but anyway, I, um... It also- Also, I told Kim about this part, but uh... You know, during my, like my last seme- My- My last, uh, couple of semesters... Before I got my diploma, um... Instead of my teacher being this, uh- Being this nice, uh... Woman teacher I knew, uh... It was this one black guy. Just one black [indecipherable, probably something racist]... But he was just like uh, you know, upon first meeting him, I- I had bad vibes about him. And... And yeah, I was right- I was right with that cuz you know, he- He and I just never saw eye to eye. And he picked more arguments, almost as much as my father.
Kacey: Uh, okay, so you thought this guy was like your father?
Chris: Uh... No, no, no, I did not consider him like my father, I'm just saying that like you know, he picked about as many arguments, and pushed a nu- pushed a number of buttons, about as much as my father did. And it was- it just- it just really made me angry at him--
Kacey: Well, what sort of arguments were they about? What were they like? I mean, a teacher shouldn't do that.
Chris: Yeah, like you know, he was contradicting my work, and this was also in the uh, last--
Kacey: Are you sure he wasn't giving you constructive criticism? He is a teacher...
Chris: Well-- Yeah, it wasn't really constructive criticsm, it was just mostly put-downs and what-not.
Kacey: Okay, well what did he say?
Chris: He's just like, uh, "No, this is not right, do it over, bla bla bla bla bla..."
Kacey: That's not putting you down, that's teaching!
Chris: Uh, but still, he was- His tone of voice was really- It was like- It was full of anger! And- And I just did not- I just did not like that I-
Kacey: Well how many times did he have to tell you that, I mean I'd be angry too if someone kept making the same mistake...
Chris: Yeah but, you know, I'm not- I'm not one to repeat mistakes, and I was like doing this... really big project in my final semester. The big plans to make- The big Computer Aided Drafting and Design plans for my Cwcville Shopping Center, two stories, all the stores and the mayor's office!
Kacey: Well, I think he was just trying to help you. I mean, he's teaching, he wants you to pass. He doesn't want you to fail.
Chris: Yeah well I- I mean, I did finish it. Ended up getting a passing grade, but still, you know, I did not like his tone of voice! The way he carried on as such.
Kacey: Well did you tell him that? Did you tell him that you appreciated his criticisms, but maybe he should, uh... watch his tone?
Chris: uh, yeah, I don't remember exactly but I think I might have thanked him for his- uh, for uh, you know, being a teacher and that- and that sort of thing. Uh... Yeah I don't think I talked- I don't think I talked to him about his tone of voice.
Kacey: Well, maybe that's just the way he talks, I mean did he talk that way to the other students?
Chris: Uh, no he was- He talked more calmly. He talked more calmly to the other students, I actually observed.
Kacey: Well what'd you get in the class?
Chris: I ended up getting like a... You know, a passing a grade like an A- Like an A or a B.
Kacey: Well, an A and a B is a really big difference. And, you know, passing- The only thing that isn't passing is one failing grade, so you know... That's, well...
Chris: Hm.
Kacey: At least you passed the course.
Chris: Yeah I passed the course, got my degree, but anyway, when I got my diploma then at the graduation ceremony, I mean like, I was only too glad to leave that Piedmont Virgina College, cuz you know, I had no new friends- I had no new friends that I would be leaving behind. And I had the bee-yotching Mary Lee Walsh. And then the--
Kacey: I thought that it wasn't her- I thought you apologized about that, and stuff.
Chris: Yeah, uh- This- Yeah, I mean- This was like, only a couple of months ago... And, I like- Up to two months ago...
Kacey: Well, then you should probably stop referring to her as that. You know, let it go. Let the past go.
Chris: (Annoyed grunt) Anyway the point was, I was only too glad get- to graduate from Piedmont, 'cause anyway, I just per- Just personally, it felt more like a Hellhole than Heaven. Felt more like Hell.
Kacey: But... It's school, what do you expect?
Chris: Hmm. Anyway but, I think a big difference though is like, you know, Manchester High School, I definitely have more... positive memories from there, like you know and I did have all my friends. And it's like you know, when I did graduate, I was just sad to leave all my friends. And the all- And all- And all- And all that. Plus, like you know, I didn't, uh, get an award for my creativity, even though I was very creative and I was like... I was highly commended- I was highly commended upon that, at- at- at that moment.
Kacey: Yeah, I think you've told me this before.
Chris: (Ignoring/talking over her) But uh, I did not- I did not- I did not get an award at the end. During the award ceremony, that whole graduation mess just... Yeah. Between the award and--
Kacey: Well remember, like I said, high school stuff really doesn't matter. Not in the real world.
Chris: (Groan) Maybe not, but it makes you feel better about yourself, talks yourself up, from- to how you feel...
Kacey: Why would you need that to feel good about yourself? You should feel good about yourself, period-dot-the end. You don't need an award, that's stupid. That's putting faith in material things, when you you should be putting faith in yourself.
Chris: Yeah I did, I mean, I did have faith--
Kacey: I mean, you got to graduate, you got the best reward of all.
Chris: Yeah, I did- I did have faith in myself. It's just like you know, I felt like, you know, they did not see me as worthy of getting an award at that time, it's just like you know...
Kacey: (Talking over him) You shouldn't think of it like that, maybe just, you know, other people deserved it. You can't win everything!
Chris: Yeah it's like, as if they were telling me like, they had no faith in me.
Kacey: That doesn't mean anything! If you said you were commended, then you were commended, just 'cause you don't get an award, doesn't mean that you're not awesome, I mean, that's childish. That really is, you shouldn't need an award, and you shouldn't feel that they have to give it to you.
Chris: Uhh...
Kacey: Maybe someone else really deserved it.
Chris: (Annoyed stress noises)
Kacey: I mean, you weren't the only one who didn't get an award.
Chris: Well, I know, I was not the only one who didn't get an-- Well, actually, that's not really true, 'cause I got like... a star, for my grades. My Honor Roll grades. A star pin. But yeah- That's just- That's just like, you know... That's SMALL in comparison to these BIG awards, and I just felt like you know, oh, I'm looking forward to like--
Kacey: I don't think it's a big award, I mean did they get money or something? If they didn't, it's not a big deal. They get a piece of paper, oh wow, it's a piece of paper that they probably don't even have anymore, it's probably lost.
Chris: I wouldn't have- I would not have lost my piece of paper if I had gotten it.
Kacey: I really don't think it's as important as you say it is, and you shouldn't put that much stock in it. I mean...
Chris: Anyway, yeah... I mean I don't put- I don't put as much into it back then, as I- Uh, I don't put as much nowadays. Into that, I just you know--
Kacey: You shouldn't hold a grudge against that, I mean you're 27. You should get over it. High school is over. It's been over.
Chris: Yeah, I mean I--
Kacey: You have one year until your ten year reunion, I mean it's DONE. Done deal.
Chris: Uh, I'm sorry, I didn't understand the beginning of that sentence, you said something about the reunion?
Kacey: Yeah, I mean, that's just showing how much time has passed.
Chris: Hm. Yeah.
Kacey: So you should totally get over it. You don't wanna go there and, you know, talk about this, so people go, "Oh my gosh, this has been over, what are you talking about?" You wanna be adult.
Chris: Yeah... (Long pause) But I think that if, still, if I had've gotten an award, I would've felt- I would definitely have felt more- I could've felt a lot better, and much easier, to like you know, leaving high school behind. Like cuz you know, it was definitely more about leave- Me leaving my friends behind.
Kacey: Well, I mean, just because you get out of high school doesn't mean you shouldn't keep in touch with your friends. Just leaving high school, it should be a good thing, because you're going on to bigger and better things.
Chris: Yeah. (Long pause) Yeah. Hm, you know I actually wanna talk about an adult thing, let's just talk- like you know, uh... Uh, how do you deal- Uh, it's like you know, you have your- You have your well-thought moments to yourself, and then you think- And then you think you don't go off (?) if you appreciate the uh... older things, and uh like you know, like- like the uh, older music and the older movies that you watch. You know, you better- You better appreciate them as an adult, cuz you- Rather than as a child, because you couldn't really understand it, it's like you know, recently I watched some- Recently I re-watched some [???] Brothers, and- and- and I have a better adult understanding of the movie than I did when I watched it there a number of times since I uh, was a child or a teenager. Uhh, what are some of the things that you reminisced about, that made you feel better? Or... And you felt, more better when you viewed it as an adult.
Kacey: I'm sorry I didn't get that, could you repeat that?
Chris: Yeah... Some of the things that you used to, uh think about when you were a child, but then you kinda thought about as an adult and further appreciated as such. Uh, what were some of those things?
Kacey: (Long pause)
Chris: Did you understand that? Kacey?
Kacey: Um... Uh... Not much.
Chris: Not much. Okay... Hm, okay, um... It's like- Okay, what was the, uh, favorite movie of yours that you watched when you were younger? When you were young.
Kacey: Um, it's still Labyrinth. I mean, Labyrinth is a pretty old movie.
Chris: Oh, by- Yeah oh by the way I watched- Anyway I rented it and watched it last night, it is a good movie.
Kacey: You watched it? Oh, cool!
Chris: Yeah. All the complex- All the complexities, and uh... That made it like you know, yeah I think knowledge would be [???] you know. I like the part in the beginning with the uh, maze. Like, oh yeah, you think it's a wall, but then it's actually like you know, it's actually a space between the vines that's just- It's just like a visual illusion right there.
Kacey: So what do you think about Jareth? I mean, Jareth was my favorite.
Chris: Oh yeah, David Bowie played him. Yeah, he's okay--
Kacey: Oh my gosh, I know, he coulda stolen me any day.
Chris: He coulda stolen you any day? What, like as a little baby?
Kacey: Well, no, obviously not, but I mean, he was... He was- Oh, that fucking bulge! Ooh.
Chris: Well, I mean that's- I mean, the uh- Yeah. You would- You would be impressed by that, but as a guy, I'm not totally impressed with that.
Kacey: (Trying not to laugh) Why not, it's David Bowie! Everybody loves David Bowie!
Chris: Yeah well I'm str-- Yeah well it's like, you know, uh... I don't wanna go into that, it's just like you know, just... Yeah. But, yeah, I'm straight.
Kacey: But still, it's not like you can't appreciate.
Chris: But I mean it's like you know, I appreciate his- I appreciate the way he sang, and yeah, he sang pretty good. But yeah I mean, then you go reference- referencing his BULGE. And then, that's like WHOA--
Kacey: I mean, just because you can say another man is attractive or hot, doesn't mean you're gay, like I can easily say another GIRL is hot or attractive, and appreciate her for her womanly things, and it doesn't mean that I want to have a relationship with her.
Chris: Uhhh, yeah but anyway- Uh, from my point of view though... Uh, definitely... have not really given it much- given it all that much though, and... Ahh, I don't- At this point I just don't feel like I could... care to really change my mind otherwise.
Kacey: Uh, okay.
Chris: But I liked how, uh, Jen- How uh, Jennifer played her role as the, uh, girl who went through da maze. That was pretty good.
Kacey: Uh-huh.
Chris: And then made the- And then made the friends along the way, like uh... Yeah she had that- That yeti-like guy, I think his name was, like, Yorda or something like that?
Kacey: Uh, close enough, heh.
Chris: I'm sorry, what?
Kacey: I said close enough.
Chris: Heh, close enough, okay. Yeah I kinda liked him, and... Oh yeah, there's like... I bet- You know, he keeps- He kept calling Hoggle, "Hogwart"? That's where- I bet that's where the author of Harry Potter got that- got that word. From that movie Labyrinth.
Kacey: I don't know if that's where she got it, but... That's a good theory.
Chris: (Chuckles) Yeah. It is a good- Yeah it is a good theory. But, a lot of things in life, you know, start off as theories until proven right or wrong. But then it's- Like you know, then it's- If I wanted to actually prove that right or wrong just from my point of view it's like, I don't know, I would uh, probably- I would probably go- would go look on Wikipedia for, uh... Harry Potter or whatshername, the author, I know it's a woman, I forget what her name is but because I didn't know I never came up with--
Kacey: J.K. Rowling.
Chris: Yeah that's it, J.K. Rowling, thank you. Uh, but anyway. Yeah I never cared mu- I never cared for Harry Potter. No, but anyway- Uh... anyway what were we talking about- Oh yeah, proving theories, yeah I could just try looking it up on Wikipedia and see what they say on there. (Long pause)
Kacey: Uh, I don't know, I don't think she's ever admitted something like that.
Chris: Yeah okay, well then yeah she- She may or may not have actually she- She may or may not seen Labyrinth, but I don't know, that's uh, one thing or another, um... Uh, but yeah, I've been still, you know, yeah, David Bowie played his role--
Kacey: Why do you not like Harry Potter? I mean, have you ever read the books? I actually enjoyed them. Like, I thought a lot better of it after I read the books.
Chris: Yeah, I tried reading one of the books, but it's like I could not really get into it. And originally I did not like Harry Potter very much cuz... Harry was like, uh, in league- In competition with Pokemon. And--
Kacey: Not it's not, it's two totally different worlds. It's way more advanced than Pokemon.
Chris: Uh... Yeah but, yeah... Yeah but, this was like- This was like years ago, I don't remember all the details, so I guess it's like, uh... I don't know, it's like you know, I'm still saying I hate- I don't like Harry Potter that much... But it's like- But it's like, I forgot the original reason why-- (Chris suddenly starts yelling) I WISH THIS STUPID INCOMING CALL WOULD-- Ugh, that Van Dye guy keeps getting- That Van Dye person there keeps calling me back, that... It's like, you know, the beeping is- The beeping of his incoming call is just interrupting... the conversation, it's like you know, at points it's like the beeps interrupt you when you're talking and it's just like, it bothers me, I wish this guy would QUIT. I mean why doesn't he get through is skull- through his fuckin' skull I mean I told him right off when I called him back, that he was like- that he was just calling toll-free-- "Call my- call your number toll-free but quit calling my number, shut the fuck up goodbye", I wish- I thought he was gonna- I thought he was gonna quit 'cause he hasn't called for like, five or ten minutes, then he starts calling again and interrupting the conversation with you!
Kacey: Yeah, he should have way more respect, I mean, obviously you weren't answering for a reason.
Chris: Yeah, what- 'Cause you know, 'cause I'm not- 'Cause I know he's a troll. And I don't- I've already established that I know that he's a troll. And I asked him to- And I asked- And I pretty much just forced- I pretty much, uh, raised my voice against him and told him to stop, but he's continuing on and on!
Kacey: That's... That's horrible, he shouldn't do that.
Chris: Yeah.
Kacey: You're gonna have to be more firm with him.
Chris: (Stress noise) Yeah. It's like you know, what- It's like you know, what I was saying is just I'm not exactly sure what to say, other than what I've already said.
Kacey: Right, well I mean, let's go back to better things. Um... If you don't like Harry Potter, what books have you read recently?
Chris: The last book I read was Pamela Anderson's Star. I thought that was a good story, for what she did.
Kacey: Oh, I've never read that one.
Chris: Oh yeah it's a good story, it's like, basically, she's like- It's like a book about- It's like, uh, as if she was writing her own life, but she was like renaming the characters, renaming herself Australia (?). Which is like you know, it's like--
Kacey: That sounds crazy, I mean, I wouldn't put much stock in what Pamela Anderson does anyway, it's like when Courtney Love tried to do a manga, it's like, no thanks.
Chris: Hm. Well it's not- I mean, like you know, yeah... You know, it showed that Pamela Anderson was definitely a smart woman, it's like you know, I wanted to appreciate her as, you know--
Kacey: I'm pretty sure she had a ghost writer. I'm pretty sure she did.
Chris: No, it- No, I- She pretty much- I do believe she said so herself, she wrote the book herself.
Kacey: That's all publicity.
Chris: Anyway, still- Still, I've read the- I've read most of the book, and I- and I've enjoyed it. It's a pretty good story.
Kacey: I know but like, celebrites never write their own books. They just don't have time. They just slap their name on it. I mean, uh, how about any other books?
Chris: Uhhhh... Yeah, other than that- Other than Star, I haven't read- I haven't read too many other books. (Long pause) Uh, it's like you know, I've either- either been watching- I've either been watching television or playing video games... Uh, other than Star I haven't read a book since I--
Kacey: You know what you should read, you should read Catch-22.
Chris: I've heard of th- I've heard of Catch-22.
Kacey: It's a great, great book.
Chris: I've heard that- Yeah, oh you know, that reminds me of this joke I heard Pamela Anderson- On the show Pamela Anderson starred in called Stacked. And then it's like, uh... Oh shoot, how'd that joke go... Um... Yeah anyway it was a Catch-22 pun right there, but I'll have to watch that episode again to, uh, find- figure out how it goes--
Kacey: Do you even know what a Catch-22 is?
Chris: "A Catch-22"?
Kacey: Yeah, do you even know what that is?
Chris: Ummmm... I think it's like- I think it's like a sexual touch, or something?
Kacey: No, that's a innuendo. Um, a Catch-22 is where you're "Damned if you do, damned if you don't".
Chris: Ohhhh. Oh yeah, I see that now, yeah, okay. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, yeah I get it. I get it, yeah. M'kay.

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