BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5
BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5 is a continuation of the third of the BlueSpike PSN Chats involving Chris.
Summary
- Chris wants to know if Julie saw Nick and Norah, which is basically a romantic comedy
- Plot summary
- He wants that to be their first movie together
- He reads the description off of the box
- Audio fades out, returns
- They 'yes' and 'indeed' back and forth like Mr.Burns (really, you two are cute)
- Homer impersonation, Marge impersonation, Maggie impersonation
- Uncle Ruckus is Julie's favorite impersonation, so Chris does the impersonation/song
- Chris thinks blacks are okay
- He does not want to date a black woman,he's old fashioned. He doesn't mind Chinese people
- He likes Japanese people (does 'asian' voice)
- 'Chinese voice' Look it me, I'm Chinese x2
- Julie asks which voice it was supposed to be, Chinese or Japanese, Chris says they both speak like that and it didn't matter
- Julie is mad that Bob doesn't like Molavia, Chris says it's because he can't find it on a map
- Bob has been to Europe, Korea during the Korean war in the Signa Core as a technician
- Julie wants a Jewish impersonation
- Chris imitates Mort from Family Guy
- Julie: I just realized that Korea isn't in Europe
- Chris: ...well it's in that west coast area there, wait, east. I get left and right mixed up.
- Korea is in Asia
- Julie wants to know why Bob is sour, Chris says he is old
- Bob starts more arguments than flies in a garbage dump
- Bob can be pleasant
- Bob was looking for a powercord for a CD player
- Bob worked at GE, has designs in Cleveland Riveroma
- Chris hopes the river is wide enough
- Julie wants to know about Indians (Native or Indian?), from India
- Julie wants an impersonation
- Chris doesn't know what to do (Chris, Hapu from the Simpsons, DUH)
- Chris is part Native American, is part English and French, Anne Boleyn
- He's looking for the lost link between Daniel Weston and Mary Boleyn's children
- Chris removes the medallion due to Julie's request
- Chris can't wait to see Julie's image
- Julie sent some photos with her letter
- Chris thinks his mom is caring and open-minded
- Chris says she can get very angry, like a momma bear, she's part redneck.
- She comes from a redneck line
- Barb has many siblings, Bob has half siblings
- Chris knows Barbs family more than Bobs
- Barb was at a pub with friends, Bob was singing (this is how they met) 'She chased him down the hall' they got married in 1980
- Julie wants to talk to Barb
- Chris goes to ask Barb to talk to Julie
- Barb is sleeping
- Barb is like a bear when awakened
- Julie wants to talk to Bob, Chris tries to go get Bob
- Chris: Hey Pop, how are you feeling?
- Bob: Fine.
- Chris: Want to come up stairs for a bit?
- Bob: What for?
- Chris: Julie wants to talk to you.
- Bob: [inaudible]
- Chris: She told me it isn't on the map for political reasons.
- Bob: [inaudible]
- Chris: Oh it is?
- Bob: ...World War 1.....World War 2 but they call it the USSR. [He talks about WW2 history, battles, soviet countries incorporated into Russia, sounding AWESOME.]
- Chris: [bored] Yeah.
- Julie: Chris, I don't think I can handle talking to your father anymore.
- [Bob goes on about history. I think he has a map he's pointing to. Audio is fuzzy.]
- Julie: [hysterical] I'm tired of him doubting my country. I'M TIRED OF IT!
- Bob: [still talking]
- Julie: [upset] Tell me when you're done talking because I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!
- Bob: [personal account]
- Julie RAGE QUITS. Troll is angry, claims gold was to be had. Chris had drug his PSEye to his dad. Julie is pissed off. Julie is chill. Julie gets scolded by trolls.
Transcript
Nick and Norah (00:00:00)
[We join Julie and Chris in medias res, carrying on their previous discussion.]
Julie: Do you accept that though?
Chris: I accept that.
Julie: Thank you Chris, that means a lot.
Chris: 'kay.
Julie: So is there anything you want to talk about?
[pause]
Chris: I dunno, uuuuhm... [pause]
Basement Rosechu: [faint, in the background] Opera!
Chris: H-Have you uh... [pause]
Julie: What?
Chris: Have you seen Nick and Norah?
Julie: Nick and Norah?
Chris: I- Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.
Julie: No, I haven't seen it yet.
Chris: It's a fun movie.
[Chris and Julie talk over each other]
Julie: Oh. What's it about?
Chris: I just watched it- I rented it.
[pause]
Chris: Yeah, it's basically a romantic comedy.
Julie: Mm.
Chris: Uhhh... Nick and Norah met at... uhh at a concert-type thing. And it's like they first meet as strangers, and then she- and then she finds out that he's the guy that uh, did the uh, mint CD's for... his ex. And that uh you know, her f- his ex uh, threw it in a garbage can and uh, Norah's been taking them and copying them to her iPod.
Julie: Ahh, a'right.
Chris: E-anyway, it's a fun romantic comedy.
Julie: It sound pretty good.
Chris: I'd like- uhh, if you want, that can be the first movie we share together. I can re-rent it.
Julie: Sure I would enjoy that.
Chris: A'right. Actually uh, lemme uh- uh- I'll read you the description from the back of the box here.
Julie: Okay.
Chris: Says here: After a chance encounterrrrr... Nick and Norah embark on a journey to New York in the rock scene on a quest to find the secret shell of a legendary band and wind up finding each other. [pause] Stars uh Michelle Sarah [Skype sound; audio becomes remarkably soft] and uh Kat Dennings.
Julie: Oh.
[audio returns to normal]
Chris: There's the cover.
Julie: Oh. Cool.
Chris: That heart is in uh- is a pair of earphones.
[audio returns to being quiet]
Julie: I see, yeah.
[faint sound of mouse clicking]
Chris: [Due to Chris's mumbling and low audio volume his precise words are inaudible, but the general jist is that he is describing the cover of the movie.] -you can see on- on the cover here. I have a mini poster of that movie.
Julie: Oh.
[pause, more mouse clicks]
Impressions (00:02:38)
[audio returns to normal]
Julie: Oh. Oh. Yes..
Chris: Yeeees. [Chris is doing a poor Mr Burns impression]
Julie: Indeedily, deedily, daddily, do?
Chris: Eeexcellent.
Julie: Hah!
[pause]
Chris: I gotta little thing- Mr Burns there.
Julie: Yeah.
Chris: Eeexcellent.
Julie: Oh- can you do your impersonation of Homer?
Chris: [pause] [inaudible; very poor Homer impersonation] -but it's okay! Doh doh doh doh!
Julie: [pause] Crap. Good impression!
Chris: [high pitched screeching] Oooh, look at me, I'm Marge, I'm Homer's wife.
Julie: Huh. That's a great impression.
Chris: [horrific sucking noise, as though Chris was enjoying a nice, healthy, 100% all meat pickle]
Julie: Heh.
Chris: That's Maggie.
Julie: Chris, can you guess what my favourite impression is?
Chris: Uhh- Donald Duck?
Julie: That's a good one but... that's not my favourite!
[pause]
Chris: Uncle Ruckus?
Julie: A-hah! That's the one.
Chris: [Chris does a poor Uncle Ruckas impression] [inaudible]- them God-damn new niggers over dere [sic]. Now just singing a song I just made up and you sing along if you know the words. But then again how can you know the words to this song I just made up, I haven't told them to you before.
Julie: Heh. Can you sing the song later p-please?
Chris: [horrific, off-key warbling] Don't trust dem new niggaaas over dere! Don't trust dem new niggaaas over dere! Nooo nooo no no no no no no way no no not dem new niggas over dere!
Niggos (00:04:50)
Julie: Mmm! Oh, that's really good. Can I ask you a serious question though?
Chris: Yeah.
Julie: What-What do you think about black people?
Chris: [pause] In general a black- black people are okay and they are respectable.
Julie: Yeah!
Chris: I have nothing against black people personally.
Julie: Ahh.
Chris: And uh-
[Julie cuts into Chris]
Julie: Oh, sorry.
Chris: I'm sorry.
Julie: No, you go.
Chris: Okay. Yeah well, it-it does- when it comes to the women, I-I'm... I am willing to be friends with them, and I'll sleep with them, just like uh any other woman, but I would not want to date a black woman.
Julie: Why not?
Chris: Mm- just called me old fashioned, the way I was bought up.
Julie: Oh, a'right. Well what about um... what about Chinese?
Chris: I don't like Chinese people.
Julie: Ahh.
Chris: They're okay.
Julie: Mm.
Chris: Yeah I like [Chris does a very poor Japanese accent] Japanese people too.
Julie: Mmm hmm, yeah.
Chris: [Chris does a very offensive Chinese accent] Look at me, I'm Chinese! Look at me, I'm Chinese!
Julie: Hah. Hah hah! [audio cut] -Japanese.
Chris: [normal voice] What?
Julie: Wait was that Japanese or Chinese?
Chris: [offensive accent returns] Yeah well no matter-ie they all speak-ie funny.
Geography, Father Talk (00:05:55)
Julie: Hah. Phh- bwhwa. Ah. [suddenly serious] Chris, do you think we could talk about your father for a bit?
Chris: Sure.
Julie: Yeah. Like, why doesn't he believe Molvanîa? It makes me really mad!
Chris: I guess just because he can't find it on the map.
Julie: Yeah.
Chris: ... for one thing. And he's travelled to uh, U- Europe at least, he's been to uh- I think it was North Korea... during the Korean war- he-[Windows beeping] he was in the signal corps.
Julie: Mmm.
Chris: Worked on the uh, technish-technical stuff and all that.
Julie: Mmm. Well I just thought of something- what about um-
Chris: [soft] What was your thought?
Julie: -do you think you could do a Jewish impersonation? I'm sorry, but could you?
Chris: Jewish impersonation...?
Julie: Yeah you know, a-an impersonation of a Jewish person.
Chris: I don't know, I guess I could uh- I guess I could imitate Mort.
Julie: Sure!
Chris: [pause] [nasily, neigh inaudible rasping, feeble attempt to imitate Mort] Peter- Peter I need to know where the bathroom is because I took an uh, dead thumb in the uh, break-van and I really gotta go poop.
[Transcriber's note: Seriously, I've been over and over this, I have absolutely no idea what Chris is babbling about in the quote above since the audio quality is horrible and the terrible, offensive accent makes it almost impossible to make out. I am GUESSING that he is basing this quote on the opening scene of Family Guy's Road to Germany, where Mort says to Peter: "Peter! May I use your restroom? I took a laxative and a stool hardener, and urhg. They're fighting it out in there...!"]
Julie: Huh. Wait, I just realised- Korea isn't in Europe.
[Windows beeping]
Chris: It isn't?
Julie: No, it's... it's not.
Chris: Hmm. Well, maybe I'm mistaken then, but I know it's on the uhh... west coast of that... area there.
Julie: Ahh.
Chris: Oh no wait- not west, east.
Julie: Yeah. Hmm.
Chris: I got- I got the left and the right mixed up.
Julie: Well it's a'right.
Chris: You know that's funny sometimes how people can get their left and their right mixed up?
Julie: Yeah. [pause] Wait, that's Asia. Not in Europe.
Chris: Okay. Hmm... yeah. Asia.
Julie: Yeah.
Chris: That's right.
Julie: Uh huh.
Back to Bob. (00:07:55)
[pause]
Julie: So.
[pause]
Chris: Right, so we talk about B- we talk about my father.
Julie: Yeah. It's like, why is he- I-I really don't wanna be rude- but why is he so sour and everything?
Chris: Why is he so sour?
Julie: Yeah, why is he so [beep] sour about everything?
Chris: Uhh, just because he's old.
Julie: So he finds more ways to argue... wait, what's the expression you used?
Chris: Oh yeah, he- he starts more arguments than there are flies at a garbage dump.
Julie: Yeah, you're right.
Chris: But you know uh, when he's not- when he's not picking out an argument he can be a pretty pleasant conversationalist.
Julie: Yeah.
Chris: He could be a tour guide.
Julie: What was he doing anyway, uh- fixing a CD player?
Chris: Uh yeah he's got uh, one of the battery operated CD players we had laying around and uh... he was t- he was testing... that.
Julie: Ahh.
Chris: He asked me if I knew- if I uh knew where he could find the power cord to it, but I haven't... seen it- seen one in there.
Julie: Oh.
Chris: Mmm. So that's- yeah. I did tell you he worked at General Electric, designed the controls for the plastic molding machine.
Julie: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah apparently uh, he had some designs over in the- over in the uh- o-over in [Skype noise] -Cleveland or a nearby city, [inaudible] I think it was?
Julie: Yeah.
Chris: Riviana?
Julie: Yeah.
Chris: Sounds like river.
Julie: Yeah.
Chris: I hope it's wide enough.
Julie: Yeah. Me too.
Chris: I just made that up.
Julie: Hey Chris, what do you think about Indians?
Chris: Uhh, are you talking about uh, Native Americans or people from India?
Julie: Uhm... Native Americans. No wait- yeah, actually.
[tape runs out]
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