Difference between revisions of "Template:Did you know"

Revision as of 14:21, 12 May 2024

... that Chris has performed oral sex on Magi-Chan?
... that BlueSpike was the ween in the JULAAAAAAAY call?
... that JenkinsJinkies is definitely NOT Chris?
... that Chris was no longer stuck as a virgin with rage after hiring a prostitute?
... that Chris will never get to return the favor by dancing with Tiffany Gowen at their high school reunion?
... that Chris has committed assault and battery against Michael Snyder and illegally pepper sprayed the Yellow-Shirted Foe?
... that Chris got fired from Wendy's for scaring a small child with his Donald Duck impersonation?
... that Chris attempted to fix The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail, and somehow made it make less sense?
... that ~~Chris~~ ~~BILLY MAYS~~ ~~Allison Amber~~ ~~Brendan Fraser~~ Mary Lee Walsh is the Mayor of CWCville?
... that the Idea Guys brainwashed Chris into believing that his imaginary daughter Crystal would be brought into the world by Chris anally raping Sonichu?
- ... and that Chris has once fisted Sonichu as a punishment?
... that Chris is cool with adoption, but his dream of his future daughter calls for blood, tears and semenal descent?

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This template sits pride of place on the CWCki Main Page. It's a big list of Chris-related facts, divided into blocks that get randomly displayed.

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Group 0

... that Chris had unintentionally rickrolled the internet with his song for PandaHalo?
... that this webiste, the CWCki, is a LOAD OF BULL?
... that Chris got married... to five of his imaginary friends and an enabler-made OC?
... that God and Jesus told Chris that Blanca was to be his TRUE and HONEST sweetheart?
... that a Forgiveness Blessing can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha attack?
... that Uri Geller, a famed magician, tried to give Chris a reality check when he sought psychic training?
... that Chris is capable of taking care of himself?
... that Chris once attended a Relationship Management Class intended for couples?
... that Bob wanted Chris to shut that goddamn thing off?
- ... and that Chris was working on it!?
... that Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of 16?

Group 1

... that Chris has performed oral sex on Magi-Chan?
... that BlueSpike was the ween in the JULAAAAAAAY call?
... that JenkinsJinkies is definitely NOT Chris?
... that Chris was no longer stuck as a virgin with rage after hiring a prostitute?
... that Chris will never get to return the favor by dancing with Tiffany Gowen at their high school reunion?
... that Chris has committed assault and battery against Michael Snyder and illegally pepper sprayed the Yellow-Shirted Foe?
... that Chris got fired from Wendy's for scaring a small child with his Donald Duck impersonation?
... that Chris attempted to fix The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail, and somehow made it make less sense?
... that ~~Chris~~ ~~BILLY MAYS~~ ~~Allison Amber~~ ~~Brendan Fraser~~ Mary Lee Walsh is the Mayor of CWCville?
... that the Idea Guys brainwashed Chris into believing that his imaginary daughter Crystal would be brought into the world by Chris anally raping Sonichu?
- ... and that Chris has once fisted Sonichu as a punishment?
... that Chris is cool with adoption, but his dream of his future daughter calls for blood, tears and semenal descent?

Group 2

... that Chris was accused by trolls of killing BILLY MAYS because he took Chris' spot as Mayor of CWCville?
... that the Dimensional Merge will bring fictional characters and imaginary friends into reality?
- ... and that the new dimension will be named 1C-211987, a mashup of our current dimension 1218 and Chris's fantasy dimension C-197?
... that Chris is as wild as a serial raper?
- ... and that Chris tried to scare us with a ghost dog story?
- ... and that Chris tried to disguise himself as a troll?
... that the trolls may have hired a skywriter?
... that Chris believes that CWCville is real?
... that Chris, in his own words, buys "healthy food, good drinks and just necessities with Good Money?"
... that Chris once tried to get a MLP fandom voice actor to unblock him on Twitter by gifting a toy and a drawing?

Group 3

... that Chris can put his energy into crystals and drink that same energy to rejuvenate himself, thus creating energy in the process?
... that Chris believes that Who Framed Roger Rabbit is an accurate depiction of reality?
- ... and that in the days before Astral projection, a dance mat in his room was one way to reach CWCville?
... that Chris’s dance partner in BronyCon 2017 was also an imaginary friend?
... that Chris’s investment strategy is to stake $8 on the lottery every week?
... that despite initially despising it, Equestria Girls is ranked #2 in Chris's Top Movies List on Facebook?
... that Chris once had a strong disdain for the Harry Potter franchise due to a perceived rivalry with the Pokémon franchise?
... that Chris believes that Lisa Simpson will be the President of the United States after the Dimensional Merge?
- ... and that Chris seemingly voted for Lisa Simpson in the 2020 Election, despite endorsing Joe Biden to take over the Presidency after Donald Trump?
... that That Goatee WILL Grow Back, even though Chris now identifies as transgender and isn't actively growing facial hair?

Group 4

... that Chris spends a lot of time in his bedroom, in spite of a traumatic experience with a babysitter locking him in there?
... that YouTuber Geno Samuel has a documentary series on Chris that is 85 episodes long, and still going?
- ... and that Chris has DMed him after seeing the series?
... that Chris believes that he could influence the international company Hasbro to cancel a My Little Pony reboot because he told them that the characters didn't like being in it?
... that Chris really cannot dance?
... that Chris recycled his own semen by drinking it?
- ... and that Chris believed that drinking Fanta before cumming would give his semen the same taste?
- ... and that Chris mixed semen with Fanta?
... that Chris wishes you a hoppy Easter?
... that in the Tour of Christian's House, Chris called his family a bunch of pack rats?
... that Chris has said Niggos only once, but has used the actual N-word multiple times?
- ... That Chris was under the influence of trolls when he said those words?
... that Chris’s father's idea of kids games is Playing With Gutter Rats In the Sewer?

Group 5

... that Chris has been recording himself freaking out on camera as early as 10th grade?
... that Chris stuck anal beads up his asshole but threw them away after using them because they were covered in shit?
... that you should believe in the OCs?
... that serial killer Ted Bundy was actually a framed Sonichu named Bundychu?
- ... and that Bundychu is friends with Bob Chandler?
... that despite being the so-called CPU of the Commodore systems, Chris doesn't know how to turn a Commodore 64 on?
... that Chris stuck his duck in some snow?
... that Clyde is Weaker than Water?
... that Alec Benson Leary imprisoned four Rosechus in his basement?
... that Chris drove Ryan Cash to suicide when he temporarily cancelled Sonichu?

Group 6

... that Sonichu has his own amiibo?
... that Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke?
... that A-Log is Chris-Chan 2.0?
- ... and that Michael J. Hirtes is A-Log 2.0 (and thus Chris-Chan 3.0)?
... that Chris went to a a gay bar on a few occasions?
... that the American government pays Chris $27 every single day to sit around the house doing little to nothing?
... that MLPG5 doesn't exist and G4 needs 5 more seasons?
... that Chris doesn't have a caretaker, despite how badly he needs one?
... that Chris reinterpreted one of his characters when he believed that she had taken the form of his newest sweetheart?
... that Chris believed he cured his autism by listening to Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis?
... that Liquid Chris has a nine inch penis?
... that Chris needs no bitches?

Group 7

... that Chris joined DeviantART to get in touch with choice Fan Artists?
... that Chris believes he has over a billion people in his True and Loyal Fanbase?
... that Chris wanted "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to be repealed so that homos "can go die in explosions"?
... that Chris went to school on the short bus?
... that Chris chatted on AIM with Vanessa Hudgens?
... that Chris is a stressed homeboy imprisoned in lulz?
... that Chris told Barbara about his masturbation, but Bob was not as open minded on the subject?
... that Chris slashed his taint open as part of a DIY gender transition attempt?
... that Chris used to sleep in class (and had no shame about it)?
... that the pickle man tricked Chris again?
... that the house in Cleveland that Chris was tricked into visiting is listed on the National Register of Historic Places?
... that #RussiaIsMLPG5; the fact that you acknowledge it puts a notch in the Soviet's belt, which is not good?

Group 8

... that Chris considers the "romance" in his comics as his best art?
... that Chris describes World War II as "a very tragic event with guns, insults, and... yuck!"?
... that Chris's 23andMe DNA results indicate that he has no Cherokee ancestry, but is 1.3% Italian?
... that Chris cannot do a single pull-up or push-up?
... that Chris once knew a man from Nantucket?
... that on his MySpace, Chris marked his fat contacts with "More to Love"?
... that Chris is the Level-Up King?
... that Virginia is for Virgins?
... that Bob believed Megan Schroeder, Michael Snyder and some homos are behind all the trolling?
- ... and that Chris believed it too?
... that Chris no longer lives at 14 Branchland Court and instead lives in the house owned by Caden Peck?

Group 9

... that Chris voided himself in terror in his sleep when he thought that Clyde Cash was trying to kill him?
... that Chris's creative process is Random, Extensive, Tough to Comprehend sometimes?
... that Chris thinks you're "trolling stupid"?
... that Chris once visited an abandoned sanatorium to leave an offering to the haunting spirits, only to have it removed by a ween mere hours later?
... that Chris tried starting a career as a male prostitute?
- ... and that Chris tried starting a career as a female prostitute?
... that Chris thinks that those with Asperger's try to take the Shine and Limelight away from true autistic people?
... that farting is OK, and actually helps cure cancer?
... that Chris once said that Pain is a fun game, despite having no trophies for it on PSN?
... that Chris once had a prostitute hang up on him?
... that Vivian's gonna rape Jack with the strapon because she's crazy?

Group 10

... that Chris hates the word "Aspergers" almost as much as the word "Naïve"?
- ... and that Chris has no idea what Naïve actually means?
... that Bryan Bash sent a handful of hookers to Chris' house?
... that wooden badges are delicious?
... that Chris loves McDonald's, while his dad preferred Burger King?
... that Chris's name used to be "Christopher", until a man in a bear suit misheard his name and called him "Christian"?
- ... and that his Spanish name is Ricardo?
- ... and that his legal name is now Christine?
... that the Long Island Iced Tea is the official cocktail of /cow/?
... that Ivy was real?

Group 11

... that Chris really likes Britney Spears (no matter what they all say)?
- ... and that his favorite song from "Air Britney" is "E-Mail My Heart"?
... that a male idiot tried to put out a fire while Chris just stood there and watched?
... that Liquid Chris's real name is CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!?
- ... and that Solid Chris's name is not Ian Brandon Anderson?
... that Jerkops are actually mall security "in colors other than blue and black"?
... that the Saw movies are some of Chris's favorite movies?
... that Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church is a church for all of God and Jesus's children, regardless of age, race, gender, socio-economic situation, or sexual orientation?
... that Bob Chandler helped host the WTJU Marathon back in 1990?
... that Chris's duck is bigger than previously photographed, and is no longer bent?
... that Chris sells driveway gravel for $15 a bag?
- ... and that people actually buy it?

Group 12

... that Chris's Donald Duck impersonation is the most terrifying thing in existence?
... that Chris's failure is in defiance of genetics: his father was an engineer who published seven patents; his half-brothers are a doctor and a film reviewer; and his half-sister is a mathematician?
... that Sonichu has his own animated series?
... that Evan killed Mommy?
... that Chris can handle getting fake numbers from girls because of Seinfeld?
... that Chris originally was a marketing major (which he picked at random) before picking CADD when he enrolled at PVCC?
- ... and that he didn't know what kind of jobs one could get with a CADD certificate?
... that Slaweel the Witch isn't blonde with devil horns, she has grey hair and wears a horned helmet?
... that Chris actually copyrighted Sonichu?
... that Chris should have changed the oil in his car in April 2009, but still hasn't done it?
- ... and that he's overdue for it even in his newest car?

Group 13

... that Yawning Squirtle sells the best weed in CWCville?
- ... and that weed is an instant life sentence in maximum security prison?
... that Chris had a conversation with Sonichu while in a meeting with Mary Lee Walsh?
- ... and that Chris fired a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha at Walsh in the same meeting?
- ... and that this incident is what got him suspended from Piedmont Virginia Community College?
... that Chris insulted a mentally disabled fan?
... that for Christmas 2004, Chris asked Santa for a girlfriend?
- ... and that on Christmas Day 2004, Chris became depressed because he didn't get one?
... that Chris was hoping to celebrate his birthday and eat pancakes instead of attending his Aunt Corrina's funeral the same day?
... that Chris believes himself to be a descendant of Anne Boleyn, Queen of England?
- ... and that Chris also believes one of his ancestors sailed aboard the Mayflower?
... that Keffals is an enabler of Chris at least since the Second Coming?

Group 14

... that Chris and Jacob Sockness aren't dating... yet?
... that Chris believes that butt plugs are linked with spontaneous human combustion?
... that Blanca was real?
... that Chris attempted to dox multiple people, while not realizing that just posting a list of Twitter handles isn't doxing?
... that Barbara Chandler won the Mother of the Year 2000 award?
... that Chris has dreamed about having sex with his mom?
- ... and that Chris has been charged with having sex with his mom?
- ... and Chris got those charges dismissed?
... that Chris believes if My Little Pony G4 isn't renewed to Season 14, Akan will invade Equestria and eventually our own universe?
- ... and that G5 has caused World War III?
... that Barb sings while vacuuming?
... that Chris throws rocks at women to attract them?

Group 15

... that even now, Chris does not think he is fat?
... that Sarah Jackson, Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by Optimus Prime?
... that Chris loves to give dating advice to high schoolers in spite of never having been on a real date as a teenager or an adult?
... that Chris repeatedly dreamt his sweetheart amid a watery maze?
- ... and that Chris expects his fans to know what happens in his dreams?
... that Chris recorded himself screaming at a toilet?
... that Chris has a fourth love doll, Yumi?
... that Chris claims to weigh 216 pounds?
... that Sega knows about Chris's attempts to change Sonic's arms back?
... that Chris rates jail a 2/5?

Group 16

... that Christian and the Hedgehog Boys have a second album?
- ... and that Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls serves as the spiritual successor to that band?
- ... and that Chris and the Hedgehog Zaps is another spiritual successor to that band?
... that Chris used to be a massive Homophobe?
- ... and that Chris is now a proud member of the SLGBTQ community?
... that Chris is a fan of OneyPlays, and was amused by their impersonation of him?
... that Chris spent nearly an entire year of his life pretending to be possessed by Sonichu?
... that Ivy got Chris to watch The End of Evangelion?
... that Chris purged all the comments from his Flipnotes, except a poem from a random girl which praised him?
... that he never wants to hear you say, "I have a boyfriend"?
... that BABSCon staff framed and displayed Chris's futile attempts for them to allow Chris to attend the event?

Group 17

... that Chris got tricked into making a shout-out video dedicated to the Columbine shooters?
... that Brütal Legend rocks?
... that Chris was featured on Fox News?
... that Chris completed a commission tied to the Sneed's Feed and Seed joke from The Simpsons?
... that CWCville is pronounced as "quick-ville"?
... that Chris believes that lolcow and spree killer Randy Stair (AKA Andrew Blaze) was aware of the Dimensional Merge?
... that Sonichu made a cameo in a dodie music video?
... that Guitar Hero is Chris's source for new music?
... that Chris reenacted CopperCab's Gingers have Souls video?
... that Chris punched multiple holes in his wall to try to break through the Iron Curtain?

Group 18

... that the trolls behind the Liquid Chris and Kacey personas actually got married in real life?
... that Chris thinks that obscure box office flop The Adventures of The American Rabbit is one of the greatest animated movies ever made?
... that the brony convention Everfree Northwest banned Chris after learning that he banged his own mom?
- ...and that BABSCon did the same thing in 2024 after Chris attempted to purchase tickets for the event?
... that Chris has no idea what Autism really is?
... that Chris has used a ruler to measure his duck, but never once in his comic?
... that when a Sonichu or Rosechu drives, they drive a Hybrid?
... that Kick the Autistic is America's favorite game?
... that Chris used a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha for the first time in nearly a decade after breaking up with Jessica Quinn?
... that someone hacked into Chris's YouTube account and uploaded excerpts of Anthony LoGatto's "JULAAAY!" video while he was in jail?
... that infamous lolcow Ethan Ralph caught Chris's arrest on a livestream just to spite his former friend Null?
... that Chris was originally going to voice the Grease Puddle in Smiling Friends?

Group 19

... that Chris foresaw your letter long ago?
... that Chris sends Holy Labels to people who send him letters to help them purify their drinks?
... that Chris had an actual True and Honest Sweetheart that got him arrested?
... that Chris believes himself to be an incarnation of Jesus of Nazareth?
... that a group of trolls tried to convert Chris to Islam in jail?
... that Chris continues his begging for hand-outs to sustain the financial situation of 14BC even from behind bars?
- ... and Barb hasn't gotten a cent?
... that the Bible is The Simpsons and the Qur'an is Family Guy?
... that Son-chu got totalled from Barb not giving right-of-way?
... that Chris updated the Ten Commandments?
... that Chris implied the trolling was worse than being pinned down by 5 teachers and having his screams recorded for their amusement?

Group 20

... that Chris denies being a lolcow?
... that Barbara is a reincarnation of Merlin the magician?
... that Chris can feel how sad and horny he is in his heart and solar plexus chakra?
... that Chris admits Women's Rights didn't exist in CWCville until 2017?
- ... and that he blames it on the past Chris?
... that Chris spent $6,267.09 on toys during the Financhu Crisis, which could have paid off half the amount his creditors were suing him for?
... that Chris's full name and description is "Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart of the Commodore Consoles, and the nations of Old Comma and Cwcville, Guardian of the Sonichu & Rosechu Species, and Immortal avatar, Lord, Messiah, Savior, and God of all"?
... that the COVID-19 pandemic was engineered by Jacob Sockness?
... that Count Graduon is the embodiment of Chris's disappointment towards his high school graduation?

@@ Line 35: / Line 35: @@
 *... that Chris believes that [[CWCville]] is real?
 *... that Chris, [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#GodofThunderGodofWar|in his own words]], buys "[[Obesity|healthy food]], [[My Coke Rewards|good]] [[Alcohol|drinks]] and [[List of toys|just]] [[Video games|necessities]] with [[Monthly tugboat|Good Money]]?"
-*... that Chris once tried to get [[Nowacking|a MLP fandom voice actor]] to unblock him on [[Twitter]] by [[BronyCon_2018#Nowacking_rejection|gifting a toy and a drawing]]?
+*... that Chris once tried to get [[Nowacking|a MLP fandom voice actor]] to unblock him on [[Twitter]] by [[BronyCon 2018#Nowacking rejection|gifting a toy and a drawing]]?
 |3=
 *... that Chris can put his [[January 2020 social media posts#Magic Bottle|energy into crystals]] and drink that same energy to rejuvenate himself, thus creating energy in the process?
@@ Line 49: / Line 49: @@
 |4=
 *... that Chris spends a lot of time in [[Chris's room|his bedroom]], in spite of a traumatic experience with [[Abusive babysitter|a babysitter locking him in there]]?
-*... that YouTuber [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_3pplzbKMZsP5zBH_6SVJQ GenoSamuel2.1] has a documentary series on Chris that is 85 episodes long, and still going?
+*... that YouTuber [[Geno Samuel]] has [[Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History|a documentary series on Chris]] that is 85 episodes long, and still going?
-**... and that Chris [[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Geno_Samuel_DMs|has DMed him]] after seeing the series?
+**... and that Chris [[Geno Samuel DMs|has DMed him]] after seeing the series?
 *... that Chris believes that he could influence the international company Hasbro to [[My Little Pony Protests|cancel a ''My Little Pony'' reboot]] because he told them that the characters didn't like being in it?
 *... that Chris really [[Fridays After Five|cannot dance]]?
@@ Line 84: / Line 84: @@
 *... that Chris believed he cured his [[autism]] by listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]?
 *... that [[Liquid Chris]] [[Kacey Call 11|has a nine inch]] [[Pickle|penis]]?
-*... that Chris [[March_2024_social_media_posts#Bitches_and_Barbussy|needs no bitches]]?
+*... that Chris [[March 2024 social media posts#Bitches and Barbussy|needs no bitches]]?
 |7=
 *... that Chris joined [[DeviantART]] to get in touch with choice Fan Artists?
@@ Line 109: / Line 109: @@
 *... that [[Bob]] believed [[Megan Schroeder]], [[Michael Snyder]] and some [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
 **... and that Chris [[April 2013 Facebook posts#Leaving the Game Place behind|believed it too]]?
-*... that Chris no longer lives at [[14 Branchland Court]] and instead lives in [[Lynchburg_and_Big_Island,_VA#Big_Island|the house]] owned by [[Caden Peck]]?
+*... that Chris no longer lives at [[14 Branchland Court]] and instead lives in [[Lynchburg and Big Island, VA#Big Island|the house]] owned by [[Caden Peck]]?
 |9=
 *... that Chris [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|voided himself in terror in his sleep]] when he thought that [[Clyde Cash]] [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|was trying to kill him]]?
@@ Line 231: / Line 231: @@
 *... that someone hacked into Chris's [[YouTube]] account and uploaded excerpts of [[A-Logging|Anthony LoGatto's]] [[For Julie's Eyes Only|"JULAAAY!"]] video [[Jail Saga|while he was in jail]]?
 *... that infamous lolcow [[Ethan Ralph]] [[Jail Saga#Arrest|caught Chris's arrest on a livestream]] just to spite his former friend [[Null]]?
-*... that Chris was originally going to voice the Grease Puddle in [[Chris in the media#Smiling_Friends|Smiling Friends]]?
+*... that Chris was originally going to voice the Grease Puddle in [[Chris in the media#Smiling Friends|Smiling Friends]]?
 |19=
 *... that Chris [[Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 (Celestia)|foresaw your letter long ago]]?
@@ Line 243: / Line 243: @@
 *... that [[Son-chu]] got totalled from Barb not giving right-of-way?
 *... that Chris updated the Ten Commandments?
-*... that Chris [[Jail Call - 1 November_2021|implied the trolling was worse]] than being [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|pinned down by 5 teachers]] and [[Kick the autistic|having his screams recorded for their amusement]]?
+*... that Chris [[Jail Call - 1 November 2021|implied the trolling was worse]] than being [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|pinned down by 5 teachers]] and [[Kick the autistic|having his screams recorded for their amusement]]?
 |20=
 *... that Chris [[November 2023 social media posts#Criticizing Kiwi Farms, "I am not a Lolcow"|denies being a lolcow]]?

Difference between revisions of "Template:Did you know"

Revision as of 14:21, 12 May 2024

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