Difference between revisions of "Main Page"

Revision as of 07:46, 18 May 2022

Welcome to the CWCki!

The premier encyclopedia on the lolcow Chris Chan,
the author of Sonichu and (alleged) literal motherfucker.

We currently have 2,612 articles...and counting!

"Any names, or persons, discussed in this wiki,
that may seem similar to anyone in real life,
are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic."

Article of the Week

Chris has numerous imaginary family members that exist only in C-197, while Chris has put some real-life counterparts into his imaginary world, this article covers those who have been made up entirely by Chris. This page will not cover Sonichu or the Chaotic combo since they already have their own pages and while Sonichu does refer to Chris as "father" or "mama", this is more along the lines of Chris being his benevolent creator rather than an actual family. Like most, if not all of Chris's original characters; pretty much all of them exist purely to worship him or to give him extra powers in the comic.

(More...)

Incarceration Counter

It has been...

998

days since Chris was last placed in custody.

219

days since the last known communication from Chris.

We highly advise against contacting Chris in any way.

Jesus Counter

It has been

630

days since Chris last claimed to be Jesus Christ.

Jailhouse Begging Counter

Do not send money to Chris: satisfying a degenerate inmate's sweet tooth is a waste of your hard earned C-Quarters.
It has been…

637

days since Chris last begged for money to waste on food from his jail’s commissary.

This Day in Christory

Today in Christory, in 2004, Chris was featured in Piedmont Virginia Community College's newspaper for having his Animal Crossing "documentary" published in the May 2004 issue of Nintendo Power.

(more...)

Did You Know...

... that Chris's Donald Duck impersonation is the most terrifying thing in existence?
... that Chris's failure is in defiance of genetics: his father was an engineer who published seven patents; his half-brothers are a doctor and a film reviewer; and his half-sister is a mathematician?
... that Sonichu has his own animated series?
... that Evan killed Mommy?
... that Chris can handle getting fake numbers from girls because of Seinfeld?
... that Chris originally was a marketing major (which he picked at random) before picking CADD when he enrolled at PVCC?
- ... and that he didn't know what kind of jobs one could get with a CADD certificate?
... that Slaweel the Witch isn't blonde with devil horns, she has grey hair and wears a horned helmet?
... that Chris actually copyrighted Sonichu?
... that Chris should have changed the oil in his car in April 2009, but still hasn't done it?
- ... and that he's overdue for it even in his newest car?

Quote of the Now

“

Hi Christine,

Thank you for your interest in attending BABSCon 2024. We are sorry, but we are unable to accommodate you at our convention due to potential violations of our Code of Conduct.

As such, you are persona non grata at BABSCon 2024 and future BABSCon events, and you will not be allowed to attend. To be explicit; this is a formal notification that you are banned from BABSCon events.

We identified and have voided the two 'Canterlot Pony' badges purchased under your [redacted]@aol.com email address; as an act of good faith, we have issued a full refund on the purchase of those badges.

Best regards,

BABSCon

”

BABSCon in an email to Chris.

Da Update

It is currently April 2024. It has been...

31

day(s) since Chris was last spotted in public.

We highly advise against seeking out Chris in any way.

Current Updates

22 April - Chris uploads Harvesting Process, Gravel at the Sonichu Temple.
15 April - Chris reveals a new page of Sonichu 0 HD on Twitter.
14 April - After over three weeks, Chris returns to Twitter to complain over leaked chats.
13 April - Chris uploads AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan - Pray High Valyrian.
5 April - Chris uploads AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan - Silakka Apajalla.
31 March - OfficialCWCmart starts selling official Sonichu "amiibos".
25 March
- Chris is spotted in a parking lot near Target in Lynchburg, VA.
- Chris accidentally presses the livestream button trying to record another song for the AI Chris Chan Vs Christ Chan series. Twice.

Recently Uncovered Info

19 April - Art request for Sockness lore from December 2019
11 April - Cults3D from January 2024
31 March - Chris's conversation with BABSCon staff from 8 March 2024
11 March - The Knights of CWC chats from July 2021
4 March - Tinyhorse1942 Twitter profile from March 2021
8 February - Genderbent Dimension from October 2020
20 January - Possession Roleplay from January 2020

CWCki News

Account Creation

NOTE: You must be 18 years or older to get an account.

Account creation for the CWCki is open. To request an account, contact a CWCki Jerkop. They can be reached at -

the Official CWCki Server Discord - message:

Hurtful Truth Level, or
Larry the Larryhog

Official CWCki Server Discord • CWCki Club forum • r/ChrisChanSonichu

Check out the Official CWCki Server Discord, and the section about Chris at the CWCki Club forums, and the Chris Chan subreddit, full of lively and often times thoughtful discussions on Chris and Sonichu. (Use the wiki talk pages or the CWCki-related channels in the Discord for article-related discussions).

Picture of the Now

Video of the Now

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 | style="width:50%; text-align:center; white-space:nowrap; color:#000;" |
 <div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em; color:#000;">Welcome to the [[CWCki]]!</div>
-<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">The premier encyclopedia on [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris Chan]], the author of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''.</div>
+<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">The premier encyclopedia on the lolcow [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris Chan]],<br>the author of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' and (alleged) [[Affair with Mother|literal motherfucker]].</div>
 <div id="articlecount" style="width:100%; text-align:center; font-size:85%;">We currently have [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles...and counting!</div>
 <div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">''"Any names, or persons, discussed in this wiki,<br> that may seem similar to anyone in real life, <br>are purely coincidental, or otherwise [[parody|parodic]]."''</div>
@@ Line 16: / Line 16: @@
 | Feb-24   = Birthday Boy.png
 | Mar-17   = PaddysDay banner.jpg
-| Apr-01   = Jenkinsjinkies.jpg
+| Apr-01   = Liquidintro.jpg
-| Apr-17   = Hoppy_Easter.png
+| Apr-09   = Hoppy_Easter.png  <!---This date will have to be changed every year--->
 | Jun-01   = Trannyintro.png
 | Jun-04   = TianmenIntro.jpg
+| Aug-01   = Cwc_Is_Missing.jpg
 | Sep-04   = BobCWCkiLogo.jpg
-|Oct-31 = Happy Halloween CWCki.jpg
+| Oct-31   = Happy Halloween CWCki.jpg
 | Nov-05   = GuyFawkesDayIntro.jpg
 | Dec-23   = Festivus.png
@@ Line 37: / Line 38: @@
 |}
 |}
-<!--     ARTICLE OF THE WEEK; CHRISTORY; DID YOU KNOW?      -->
+<!--     ARTICLE OF THE WEEK; PRISON COUNTER; JESUS COUNTER; JAILHOUSE BEGGING; HIPAA COUNTER; COUNTER; CHRISTORY; DID YOU KNOW?      -->
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 | style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Jailhouse Begging Counter}}</div>
 |-
-| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">This Day in Christory</h2>
+| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">This Day in Christory</h2>
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 | style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Christory}}</div>
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 {| id="mp-lower" style="margin:4px 0 0 0; width:100%; background:none;"
-<!--        PICTURE OF THE NOW       --['''THE GRAND DAD EMPIRE''' ARE a prolific VINESAUCE-centric MEME group based in BEDROCK CITY.  Their largest periods of activity seemed to be around the time SILVAGUNNER was terminated, when they were hosting several unofficial VINESAUCE gaming events (which they assure you repeatedly are ''not'' official Tournaments and are in no way affiliated with JOEL).
+<!--        PICTURE OF THE NOW       -->
+| class="MainPageBG" style="width:55%; border:1px solid #ddcef2; background:#faf5ff; vertical-align:top;"|
-They operated out of the SilvaGunner YouTube channel until it was terminated in 2014, after which they appear to have transitioned briefly to GiivaSunner in September of 2016 before returning to SilvaGunner in June of 2018.
+{| id="mp-left" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="width:100%; vertical-align:top; background:#faf5ff;"
+| <h2 id="mp-tfp-h2" style="margin:0; background:#ddcef2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Picture of the Now</h2>
-== CHANNELS ==
-The original forums appeared to function as four services: preparation and communication in service of coming events, discussion about new HIGH-QUALITY RIPS, MEME showcase, and general VINESAUCE or unrelated discussion.
-== EVENTS ==
-The VINESAUCE MEME events that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE held were known for being diverse and involved, due in large part to their incredibly strong YTP scene.  These events would involve VINESAUCE-branded fan-made HIGH-QUALITY RIPS for SONGS that wouldn't exist for nearly a decade, and some that still don't!  They also hosted some of the first KING FOR ANOTHER DAY tournaments, with fan HIGH-QUALITY RIPS.
-In later years, an event known as GRAND FEST was hosting PREMIERES for GRAND DAD Fantasy, KING FOR ANOTHER DAY, GRANDmachine, HE THICC 69, and MEME Wars, as of 2019.
-== HIGH-QUALITY RIPS and MEMES ==
-Some HIGH-QUALITY RIPS appear to have seen releases or updates in 5th and 6th edition.  Note that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE seem to have been most active between 2012 and 2019.
-* GRAND DAD 2: SPASTIC BOOGALOO
-* GRAND DAD 3: THE GAUNTLET OF ASS (FEATURING SMOL NOZOMI, TITO DICKMAN, SPONGE, HE THICC, and SANS UNDERTALE)
-* GRAND DAD 4: GRAND DAD IS GOD
-* GRAND DAD 5: DEATH TO 1D4CHAN
-GRAND DAD IS LOVE
-GRAND DAD IS LIFE
-GRAND DAD WILL CONQUER THIS WIKI
-FOR MEMES
-FOR VINESAUCE
-AND FOR
-SILVAGUNNER
-==GOOBY==
-<big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big>[[Image:Zzzzzasdf.png|thumb|GOOBY]]</big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big>
-Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still
 |-
 | style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Picture of the now}}</div>