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The '''BraveryJerk Interviews''' are a series of interviews made by the same individual under two aliases, [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd3_Cgy53iABR2i8s1L8Dtg Lil E] and [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvEHyXZ-c1XpGAtG7OmsJdA BraveryJerk]. The first interview, recorded at [[The End Games]], was secured by promising Chris the use of a 3D printer, a vow not fulfilled after the interview was recorded. The second and third occurred at Charlottesville's annual [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] pride festival. | The '''BraveryJerk Interviews''' are a series of interviews made by the same individual under two aliases, [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd3_Cgy53iABR2i8s1L8Dtg Lil E] and [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvEHyXZ-c1XpGAtG7OmsJdA BraveryJerk]. The first interview, recorded at [[The End Games]], was secured by promising Chris the use of a 3D printer, a vow not fulfilled after the interview was recorded. The second and third occurred at Charlottesville's annual [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] pride festival. | ||
Revision as of 14:42, 6 September 2019
Template:DeadVideos The BraveryJerk Interviews are a series of interviews made by the same individual under two aliases, Lil E and BraveryJerk. The first interview, recorded at The End Games, was secured by promising Chris the use of a 3D printer, a vow not fulfilled after the interview was recorded. The second and third occurred at Charlottesville's annual LGBT pride festival.
The group behind the BraveryJerk channel posted the longer Cville Pride interview on the Kiwi Farms while masquerading as someone else, under the username "holy cow", shortly after uploading it. This, along with their abhorrent choice of questions to ask to Chris, was quickly met with criticism, causing them to make another account, "chrischansmanclit", to go into full damage control mode. The episode remains popularly referenced as an example of weenery.[1]
First interview
CHRIS CHAN INTERVIEW | |
Search for video | YouTube, archive |
Stardate | 8 September 2016 |
Subject Matter | Trolls, Love Quest, Homos, Television |
Performance Style | Reason |
Saga | Tomgirl Financhu Crisis |
Shirt | Blue and White Striped Dress |
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
previous Paid Message to the Trolls |
next We Like Pearl |
Transcript
Interviewer: So... You still recycle your gravy? ["Really, nigga?" sound effect]
[Sped up version of "I Want It That Way" plays]
I: - Weston Chandler... Uh, we have a few questions for you. So, first off, are you still on your Love Quest?
Chris:: Umm... Yes, yes, more or less, umm... I don't get to go ouda- out the house as much, but I'm still very much looking for a... my... womanly s- my woman sweetheart. Yeah, definitely all woman. Regardless, but, anyway, umm... yes.
I: Alright, and what do you think of the fame that Sonichu's brought to you?
[Chris nervously scratches temple]
C: Mmm... Yeah... Fame, good... Infamy, though, not so much, because of uh... all the drawbacks I've had. And, the stress... and the shock and all that, over the years, each individual one kind of... [puts finger to temple and sighs] still lingers in my head.
I: What are some of the drawbacks?
C: Umm... It prevents me from uhh... Being able to, uhh... Be more creative. It just... Ugh. It's practically paralyzing. I can't- it's like- it's hardly a- har- hardly able for me to help.
I: Can you tell us more about the bear?
[cut]
C: ...What?
I: The bear that gave you your name.
C: Oh, you mean the uh... Leonard Bearstein that used to be over at Regency square?
I: Yes. Leonard Bear.
C: Yeah, Bear Conductor, the conductor... umm... we told- it said- he asked- he asked me for my name, uhh... Which was Christopher at the time, and he misunderstood that, uh, the conductor behind the bear was English... Or British, something like that, and he misundertood, called me "Christian", and that inspired the fir- the first name change.
[cut]
I: So, have you heard of, uh, Sachumo?
C: Who?
I: Sachumo, he's a Youtuber, he made a documentary about your life.
C: [Confused] Umm... Yeah, I have not heard of him. And- is this that insensive documentary that I keep hearing about?
I: Yes, this is a documentary on YouTube, it has about half a million views.
C: Yeah, yes, still have not watched it.
I: Definitely should, it's pretty good.
[cut]
I: So, what does like, a normal day look like for you?
C: Ummm... It's-I try- try to be as- peaceful as possible, like, tend to go with the flow, really, uhh... and... If I go out, I go out, if I don't, I don't, uh...
I: Alright.
C: And sometimes I'm on day schedule, sometimes on night schedule, just switches on- switches on me and my internal clock, it's fickle, it bothers me, umm... But typically, ummm... say... If I go out, I'd be uhh... walking abo- I'd be walking around, I'd be nice- I'd be friendly and nice to peopl- to, uhh... tahh... peep- to people, civil to the men and more- and more talkative to the women, mmm... Umm, just be- just be normal and casual and, if I'm home I- if I feel like cradindinye- creating then I will end up doing that, otherwise for the m- what happens most of the times I'll, I dunno, probably just binge watch a TV show on Hulu, Netflix or something-
I: What are some of your favourite TV shows?
C: Umm, well, some of my favorite shows... Well I do like Seinfeld, and, uhh, Friends; Big Bang Theory is OK, that's, uh, more the, uhh, recent genre, but I also like Golden Girls and Fraiser, those are on the Hallmark channel. Umm... I Don't know recent shows, but also recently I've binged-watched through Hulu and Netflix, Kill la Kill, which I thought that was a good anime, all things considered, it had really good story and all that-
I: Huh, intereseting.
C: And, WataMote, that was good also, jus- I just feel like I could relate with, uhh, like the main character, the girl there. I don't remember her name at the moment. But also, it's just like she- she tends to overthink at socializing, and that's kinda like what I end up doing so far as well, or have done, probably still doing. It's habitual, overthinking, you do it and you're not thinking about it yet you're thinking and you're not thinking about it - [spins hand while while making weird noises] - That's an oxymoron.
[cut]
I: Alright, and-
C: Not anymore, anyway.
I: And, you consider yourself a transgender?
C: Yes, I'm a lesbian trans-woman, still very much interested in women, and I'm going to be transitioned at least with the binaural beats... And, uh, I will also be- I'm also looking into uhh, the HRT, for real, and uhh, and if not the natural transofmration then, if my insurance will allow me after I'll be going throught that intensive process, which will be starting up soon for me, uhh, then I will have the SRS.
I: Interesting, interesting...
[cut]
4:52
I: So, do you still recycle your gravy?
C: [disgusted] Ugh! No.
I: No. What was that all about? because a lot of people are talking about that.
C: Uhh... that's... uhh, public situation right now, I'd rather not talk about it but, yeah, let's just suf- let's just leave it at that, I have not done that for years.
I: Okay. It's good to know. Sorry, people were just asking about that. Had to bring it up. Umm...
C: Never ask that quesiton again, just leave it at that.
I: Alright. Ummm, and... A lot of people, a lot of trolls have tried to troll you, what do-
[cut]
C: ... quit it, don't try to stress me, don't try to bother me, I'm an artist, uhh, I've tried- I'm still long trying to recover from all the stress and the shock since 2007. It's a very long and tedious process, especially in my mind [clutches scalp]. You would- I mean- I don- Ya'll would probably not know, or you might know if you had your own family situations, and you're stuck in your basements and whatever, but, anyway, just- just- If you're not gonna be nice to me, if you- if you have nothing nice to say, you have- you have nothing good... intended, or if you only have bad intended, just- just don't bother me. I only respond best to uh, kindness and... honesty, and... more- and more to point, face-to-face, in person.
[cut]
I: What do you think about Encyclopedia Dramatica and their article about you?
C: Ugh. I'd rather not think about it. But, essentially, I don't ca- I do not care much for it.
[transgender section repeats]
I: Alright, and-
C: Not anymore, anyway.
I: And, you consider yourself a transgender?
C: Yes, I'm a lesbian trans-woman, still very much interested in women, and I'm going to be transitioned at least with the binaural beats... And, uh, I will also be- I'm also looking into uhh, the HRT, for real, and uhh, and if not the natural transofmration then, if my insurance will allow me after I'll be going throught that intensive process, which will be starting up soon for me, uhh, then I will have the SRS.
I: Interesting, interesting... All right, well, thank you for doing an interview with us, It's been an honor.
Cville Pride interviews
These interviews were produced during Cville Pride's 2016 event. In the first, Lil E sees Chris in a crowd of people he is interviewing and includes him as an interview subject (at the 2:39 mark). Later, he met with Chris for a one-on-one interview.
HOW MANY GENDERS ARE THERE? [BJ on the streets] | |
Search for video | YouTube, archive |
Stardate | 17 September 2016 |
Performance Style | Reason |
Transcript
BJV: Hey, look who it is. It's Christian Weston Chandler. How many genders are there?
Chris: Oh, I just learned, there's, like, 58.
BRAVERYJERK INTERVIEWS CHRIS CHAN | |
Search for video | YouTube, archive |
Stardate | 17 September 2016 |
Performance Style | Reason |
Transcript
BVJ: Hello everyone, Braveryjerk here, today we are interviewing Christine Weston Chandler, how are you doing today.
[music with caption “In October 2016, Braveryjerk got the rare opportunity to interview Christian (Christine Weston Chandler) We had around 20 minutes to prepare” ]
CHRIS: [holding toy] It’s a custom Equestria Girls Minis I made…myself.
Chris sets up his Amiibo toys on a table, the interviewer is looking at them.
BVJ: (mutters) Are there more in here? You have the full…(mumbling)…probably shouldn’t touch that (wipes hands on clothing) That’s kinda gross.
CHRIS: [setting up toys] I’ll just put…one at a time.
BVJ: I’m gonna go get the camera…
CHRIS: Yeah, custom ‘mmibo figures of…Sonichu n Rosechu, Sonee n Rosey, and Angelica Rosechu.
BVJ: So you make these yourself?
CHRIS: Yeah. For figures it takes HOURS.
BVJ: It’s very pretty. How much would one of these go for?
CHRIS: Um…some of it’s….indivi…selling em for around…fifty dollars apiece or…
BVJ: FIFTY? I’ll give you two for it.
CHRIS: Oy vey, no.
BVJ: That’s all I got on me. Is that the original medallion?
CHRIS: Yesss. Uh. Nummer three whereas the first two have been…destroyed…that’s…that’s a whole buncha other stories.
BVJ: How were, how were they destroyed?
CHRIS: [sigh] Somebody else dessroyed the first one, and the other – and the second one was…shoved up my…keyhoooole….uh…
BVJ: You shoved the Sonichu medallion up your ass? (looks dramatically at camera)
CHRIS: Yip…yeah, it was..yeah, I don’t wanna talk about that.
BVJ: Why did you do that?
CHRIS: [sigh] Between uh…my theoretical ex-girlfriend and being blackmailed…Playstation Network theft….yeah. I don’t – that’s en – that’s enough said.
BVJ: So you chose to shove it up your…your boyhole?
CHRIS: [sigh] yeah…
BVJ: This is NOT the same one you put up your ass? [holding hands away from medallion dramatically]
CHRIS: Definitely not.
BVJ: Ok. Thank god. [more wiping hands on clothing and mugging for camera] That would be a little gross, right?
CHRIS: Nyah.
BVJ: This is the Rosechu?
CHRIS: Rosechu, yeah.
BVJ: Do you have like a napkin or something? [jump cut]
CAMERAMAN: And what’s your, uh, Etsy store link? So people can…buy your stuff?
CHRIS: It’s closed right now, I don’t know if I’ll be opening up after I catch up on my orders. Uh it’s CWCville Shopping on Etsy. It’s a link on my YouTube page, CWCville Guardian.
BVJ: CWCville Guardian, that’s a pretty snazzy name [sarcastic look at camera]
CHRIS: No, CWC, it spells – when you say it as a word it’s [sic] comes out as Quick. So…
BVJ: Wouldn’t it be like….ssswwwwsssskkkk?
CHRIS: Quickly, to the Tardis! [waves around Tardis blanket]
BVJ: Hooooly crap, that is…can you hold that up for us?
CHRIS: I brought it with me as something to s – as one to sit on.
BVJ: That is quite a meme right there.
CAMERAMAN: Alright, I think we are ready to start.
BVJ: Alright, everything’s turned up?
[jump cut to Chris fondling Equestria Chris]
BVJ: So you’re a Brony?
CHRIS: Ah, no, I’m a pegasister.
BVJ: Oh right, cause you’re a…(CHRIS: Yes.) A trans…woman.
CHRIS: I’m a…yes…I’m a [singing] female soooooooul!
[jump cut]
CHRIS: So do you wear glasses on your….all your online videos?
BVJ: Sometimes. [Chris looks very unsettled]
[jump cut]
CHRIS: I’m Christine Weston Chandler, formerly known as Christian Weston Chandler,
[jump cut]
BVJ: [slaps legs] So how are you doing today, first of all.
CHRIS: I’m all right.
BVJ: Cool cool. What do you think about the fame and popularity Sony-chu has brought to you?
CHRIS: Uh, SONichu. Uh…I’m kinda like, eh, somewhere in the middle about it, cause…’s nice, a lotta people know about me ‘n my characters, but then also, uh, lotta bad people been giving me bullying ‘n grief ‘n….’nets just been bringing me down emotionally ‘n mentally. Between blackmail…uh…dis, dat uh…[gestures with hand, sniffs] it’s hard – it’s just a lot – it’s so long a list an’ (cling?) theoretical ex-girlfriends who turned out not…to be…cert- not to be who they were. I don’t like dishonest or mean pe- cruel people. Learn some gen’ral kindness! And…honesty and…humility (lol)…don’t always…got hate. Don’t hate. Love conquers hate.
BVJ: Do you regret anything you’ve done in the past?
CHRIS: Definitely uh…fit…among de footage and thing…and pitchurs I’ve drawn of….quite revealing content.
BVJ: If you could undo one thing you’ve done in the past, what would that be?
CHRIS [sigh] Uh..undo one…thing…dat…mmm…I guess…fff..learning that I…funded [sic] the…Encyclopedia Dramaddica page inna first place. Then…I wouldn’t have – I wouldn’t have known…I woulda been…blissfully ignorant! [raises hands, shakes bracelets] Of da bad people. [tongue out]
BVJ: Do you regret posting those characters anywhere, or, or…
CHRIS: Uh…no I do not regret posting them, I just feel bad dat dey been crim…dey been criminally defaced, an’ brought to shame, the – I feel that the trolls and the (means bullies but says boys) and everything they’ve done against me and all that, they essentially took the fun out of it.
BVJ: And, you’ve said things that could be considered racist in the past. (CHRIS: Um…) Have your views changed on those?
CHRIS: Yes, b – esp – yes, um…I never really had anything against, uh, race or people, I never really did, uh…but im – in thought of that, the one president Obama joke that my father came up with about painting da house – White House prematurely, uh, yeah…[waves hand dismissively] that’s not my thing. That was, that was his opinion and his feelings alone, and that was…years ago. I have nothing against black people or anyone else of other countries, or yeah – or ra- wherever. Whoever.
BVJ: Well we have a quote here, you said…I hate N- [cuts off]
CHRIS: [looks very put out] I never said that. Migh’na been that parody I did of Uncle Ruckus’s songs against da gays but which dat…my views have been changed. (ironically sounds like “my views have not changed”). Well it def’nly came about when I realized dat I was a lesbian transwoman and I felt…comfortable amongst the LGBTQ community. I still feel – feel uncomfortable around males in general, but for da most part I will be civil, and uh…not mean to, not mean to any of them, unless any of them are directly mean to me. I definitely respond better to kindness, but um…yeah, I [stammers] have my eyes set on da women. And, very much attracted to women.
BVJ: So you’re straight.
CHRIS [angry sigh, looks annoyed] I’m a LESBIAN TRANSWOMAN, my FEMALE SOUL is attracted to women, so derefore I am a lesbian.
BVJ: But you were born a male, correct?
CHRIS: [even more annoyed] Ugh….yes, born male, but that’s irrelevant.
BVJ: How many genders are there?
CHRIS: Dere’s a lot more than [stammers]
[some really annoying music plays I’M A SCAT MAN! as Chris stammers]
CHRIS: Dat’s my guess, my educated guess.
BVJ: Could you name a few?
CHRIS: Well, there’s trans male, trans women, um (BVJ: That’s two.) …uh…uh…male female (BVJ: Four.) shoot….uh….well I’ve [sic] definitely would say uM, with regards to what f – what gender you feel you are inside, between male and female, versus or, im – in retrospect with what – the physical form you’re born with, uh [stammering, the editing cuts off what he was going to say and splices in more stammering]
BVJ: Do you consider yourself famous?
CHRIS: Uh. Mildly, yes. Umm…I feel like it’s positive because I have seen kindness from de asshual good and honest people…and…it’s brought lil – it’s brought at least a little bit of sutsess to…mit – myself personally and my…family? In regards to, or opposing to, like say, my half-brother Joseph Cole Smithey. And…his…[wipes greasy face] movie reviewing. Eh, but still I just feel like…’e’s so sussessful, he lives in, like an esspensive New York apartment, wit his wife, he could help out wit – he could help his own mother. Our sh – our mother. We share da same mother!
BVJ: So could you tell me about uh, a little about your family and your upbringing?
[the editing speeds up Chris’s answer, for no apparent reason, but Chris mentions his parents and Cole and how they share the same mother but not the same father, and says that his family used to be quite large but has shrunk in the past number of years]
CHRIS: Nobody’s around forever….[does sign of the cross] remember the ones who cared, and I definitely respect everyone from who…remembers, as suffered, or survived from….911 and all dat. [graphic of “Remembering 911” randomly appears]
BVJ: What do you think about the Black Lives Matter movement?
CHRIS: Uhhh, Black Li – I have not heard of that. Well…Black Lives Matter. It sounds like it’s…uh…maybe people, black people are, sounds like dey’re having trouble? But I feel…that, you know, to help any person in general, regardless of race [#AllLivesMatter flashes] or whatever. I mean, I’m for…de, uh…Black Lives forever.
BVJ: Do you consider yourself oppressed as a trans woman?
CHRIS: [confused] Um…O-pressed? [Oprah picture flashes for some reason] I’m not sure what da definition of o-pressed is.
BVJ: Do you feel as if you are mistreated, because of how you identify.
CHRIS: Oh! Mostly, uh…I’ve actually seen more of kindness from…at least locally, and I tend to ignore de, uh, boys (bullies) and trolls, especially with in the past, more recent years. Aside from – well – you have the haters, just uh, usually would shrug dat off…
[another irritating sequence of jump cuts with Chris saying “I feel like, I don’t feel…I think I feel…do not feel…”]
BVJ: Would you consider yourself a feminist?
CHRIS: Yes. Girl…woman power! Girls are strong, we kick butt!
[camera zooms in on Chris for some reason, before editing Chris’s next statement to sound like he is saying “Mmm, Butter” and flashing a picture of a stick of butter]
CHRIS: Y’all don’t totally know me from what I’ve done in past dat’s been uploaded on ‘ne Innernet, ‘n taken oudda context, y’all would be – would be better off getting to know me personally or better, I’m ashually – I’m ashually quite likeable.
BVJ: Are you still on your Love Quest?
CHRIS: Yes, but definitely feel that – and with that, um…in my relationship with women, uh wuh – ff- who I find to be my – ff – [deep breath] oh, my eventual sweetheart, def’nitely will be on the friends, friends first, den relationship layer on….yeah, it’s uh – it’ll be a mutual thing between her an’ me an’…I’d leave de…if and when of…private circumstances…up to her.
BVJ: When you…went into that Gamestop, what were you thinking?
[plays clip of DON’T CALL ANYBODY where Chris maces the Gamestop employee]
BVJ: The Gamestop where you pepper-sprayed the employee.
CHRIS: Oh, yeah…I was not esspecting to be…irrecepted like dat. Annnn I acted, pretty much, out of in sel- in actual self-defense…
[the clip is played again, directly when Chris sprays the mace]
CHRIS: …between uh, disinformed perceptionnnns….and being harassed previously, like dat, I never actually was able to defend myself before. Back den I thought, this was a positive means [text “meeeemes” flashes for some reason], but den it turns out, it went wrong, an re- and the reason behind that which was the Sonic the Hedgehog om – arm color change. [“No Colors Allowed” is flashed on the screen] Yeah, ‘n ‘at was just…plain trivial an’ I…really wish I had not…started that prot – dat protest ‘nna first place.
BVJ: So you believe that’s not a…’ppropriate reaction? To the change of a cartoon character’s arm color.
CHRIS: Yesssssss…I’ve come – I’ve realized dat. When I…did a search for my name brandomly [sic] ‘s da first thing I did when I just got my Nintendo Wii, and uh…den I found da Encyclopediadrammadica page an…learn ‘nat…people were…makin’ a mockery of me, gib’n me hate, an ‘nat just…really…threw me off. Initially, I fffffelt quite distraught, I felt…ashamed, I felt…some anger, I felt…rebellious, I felt…like dis is not right, dese people don’t know me for who -for the person I am, or was back den, they don’t know me personally. Yeah, dis webpage, ‘s just not right, I…tried multiple times ta…personally try to take it down and request it taken down, and dey said NO! And to change it so it’s more accurate, and dey didn’t do it! And eventually I…just…like I learned from…dat…parody song…You’ve been trolled, you probably told, don’t reply to this guy, he’s just getting a rise out of [starting to sing] you, yes it’s true, you respond and dat’s his cue, you start trouble on da double, while he (strokes his bendy skull????) You been trolled, you been trolled, you should probably just fold, when the only winning move is not to PLAAAAAY! And yet you keep on trying, and (??) replying, you been trolled, you been trolled, [holds up a hand to wave] have a nice day!
[camera randomly zooms in on Chris’s hand as he drops it back down]
BVJ: That’s amazing.
CHRIS: Tend to not…put…new revealing information about somebody’s past, against dem currently as long as…they’re actually…in the longer run, since after these past fee- these past feelings on…before flip-flopping or whatever…
BVJ: Would you ever run for President yourself?
CHRIS: NO. [jump cut to big stress sigh] We have our dogs, our fickle finances go up go down…the second halves of the months are usually worst on us in the house…[hand up on head] it’s a real strain. I mean regardless of my…impulses, impulse purchases dat…de trolls are ashually going into, and just [autistic hand twitch]…I don’t know, just…like being da paparazzi behind my back or, looking t’rough online transitions – transactions an’ wha-ever, that IS an ivasion [sic] of privacy! And that’s, uh, nobody’s business but my own, but I am still helping out my mother and the household. And I just, need a little time…I just need a little now and then, treat or time for myself, as anybody else would!
BVJ: You said you have dogs, what kind of dogs do you have?
CHRIS: Dey’re both beagles.
BVJ: What are their names?
CHRIS: [amazed he doesn’t know] Clover and Snoopy! A – sometimes I like to call ‘im Snoopy Doo. Dis is – mooshis (???) Scooby and Snoopy!
[more edited splicing of Chris stammering]
CHRIS: Da house was a lot more cluttered before da fire. An my mom wanted ta…plug in dis new coffee – dis new coffee maker dat uh…she – dat Mr. C had gotten like a year or two before? And wan – to go for – want to enjoy some of de…K Cup type coffee! So, mm….got dese extension cord I found the nearest available plug, and it was uh…[gestures] in da nearby…bathroom. But the coffee maker was…outside the bathroom. On a uh…dresser. And uh, we couldn’t cl – we couldn’t close the door, I uh [hand to face] I didn’t – I wasn’t thinking too clearly, I didn’t think as much, but I end up looping the uh, esstension cord OVER de door! And uh, the arc above the door, dat’s…POOF! [music of We Didn’t Start the Fire starts playing] And dat’s where the fire started, and…yeah mos – yeah, ummm…give or take, I’m not pointing fingers if it was here, from my mis – my mistakes, and I have made a lotta mistakes regardless, um…or my mudder want, the uh…coffee maker plugged in! Or…even de coffee maker itself, with da….de…with its possible faulty wiring and he had to go back and forth bet-between da mechanism and da socket? What happened happened, dat’s water under the bridge,
BVJ: So you burnt your house down.
CHRIS: [stress sigh] It was definitely nassident (an accident), it was not intended.
BVJ: You accidentally burnt your house down.
CHRIS: Yeah. At least…the majority of us, we got out safe. [text “The Majority?” flashes onscreen] All the original drawings an everything, all that, they were safe, but…definitely lost was uh…couple of things that were...hanging on my bedroom wall were destroyed in the fire.
[editing of Chris doing the sign of the cross again with chorus singing and Jesus photo superimposed over footage]
BVJ: What is that?
CHRIS: What?
BVJ: What’s that move. That thing.
CHRIS: What, you don’t know ‘bout that? I don’t know, I just took it from watching – seen it on television, I just feel like – got – feel like when I do it’s ‘s like “God help me”. Jesus did help us, uh…I feel like, um…we only have…yeah, dere’s o – dere’s one God, an ev’body regardless of the name….yeah, mm…dat’s…dat’s definitely also taking a little bit from the wisdom of Matt Groening, between…between the Simpsons and Futurama. Stayf…our…stayf…State Farm par-personnel was able to help us, uh…get us into a hotel for a f-into a hotel for a few weeks, before we got de…rental house dat we stayed in for dat…number of months?
[cameraman gets bored and starts zooming in and out on the interviewer]
BVJ: Now, can we get an update on your man-cl [cut off]
CHRIS: [frustrated] PLEASE, no comment!
BVJ: No comment? You made several comments on your, uh, public Facebook page.
CHRIS: Ugh. Yeah, dat was…impulsive and summa dat was brought on by…yeah, ‘n ex-girlfriend of mine of recent, but she left me of the uh…dishonesty therein, but uh, anyway I’m still transitioning, let’s just leave it at dat.
BVJ: So you, you believe that the bloody hole in your taint (CHRIS: Oh…please…) is…
CHRIS: Please, please, please! No comment! No comment! (BVJ: Have you…) Everything’s healed up, it’s all good, I’m still alive, let’s just l – give that…let’s just leave that – lie – lay that down to rest.
BVJ/CAMERAMAN?: Is there anything else you wanna say before…
CHRIS: Um…[open and close mouth like a fish] I’d say…to everybody on the Innernet…eh…f-face-to-face kindness and…meet and greets are better than online…yeah, meet first…it’s a whole – I feel like that’s more important den…mee’in anybody online communicating, you can…anyway, aside from d at, um…be good, be kind, have a good safe day!
BVJ: Hell yeah, my nig- [cut off]
CHRIS: Stop hayding, stop boying (bullying)! Love is better den hate! Kindness is berr res – better rescepted [sic] and more welcoming…den…mistrust, dislike, hatred, hurtful comments…if you got s- if you don’t have anything nice to say, mostly keep it to yourself, or amongst yourselves…
[flute music is edited in, the camera circles Braveryjerk and Chris before showing Chris putting away his toys. The camera slides around on a table, making a scraping sound.]
BVD: Alright, brofist! See you, good day.
CHRIS: Yeah, take care.
[more stupid editing commences]
See also
References
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