Difference between revisions of "Main Page"

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Welcome to my wiki!
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I am a fat, autistic, self- centered man- child, who doesn't care about you, honest content, or any of that bullshit. I do not understand people, society, how to have a friend or how to entertain people, I pretend to to 'fool' people. If you actually believed me, go and dive out of your window now. My house is a public health hazard, somebody should destroy it. Kill me and my mom 'snorlax' while you're at it. In one of my crazy autistic sessions, I somehow decided you actually want to read about my life, which, I know, is complete and utter horseshit. But I'm too much of a lazy fatass to delete it. So, now there are loads of pile-of-shit pages you can read about my waste of a life and feel better about yourself.
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P.S. There are no pictures on this front page, because for once I understand how you feel and know you don't want to see my fat, aspie, perma-virgin, ass-lookalike face. Please troll my wiki to your heart's content, I guess its the only way it will ever be what you could relate to 'fun'. If you find any special needs, love- deprived, self centered assholes (such as myself) trying to moderate posts and support me, because they feel good having someone they can relate to, be sure to let them know the world is better off without them and nothing their mis-functioning, infant-mental-age brains can shit out all over the internet will actually help or interest anyone and people of their mentality should seek professional help, actually try to mould their obssessive fantasies into something helpful to society (yeah, they're gonna make the effort to do that (!), being as self- centered and socially exclusive as they are), or, most beneficial to moost people, commit suicide.
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<div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em; color:#000;">Welcome to the [[CWCki]]!</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">The premier encyclopedia on the lolcow [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-Chan]],<br>author of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', controversial [[YouTube]] personality,<br>[[transgender]] [[Messiah complex|goddess]], and [[:File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 25 August 2023.png|formerly]] [[Jail Saga|incarcerated]] [[Affair with Mother|motherfucker]].</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">'''''[[Passive observers|OBSERVE]] CHRISTORY. DON'T [[Unholy Quintet|MAKE]] CHRISTORY.'''''</div>
<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%; text-align:center; font-size:85%;">We currently have [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles... and counting!</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">''"Any names, or persons, discussed in this wiki,<br> that may seem similar to anyone in real life, <br>are purely coincidental, or otherwise [[parody|parodic]]."<br>'''''We highly advise ''against'' trying to contact or otherwise<br> seek out Chris, or anyone who currently is or has<br> previously been associated with him, in ''any'' way.'''''</div>
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That's my explanation for why this abominative waste of pixels exists, straight from the horse's ass. If you're still reading this, you are a fucking nerd, but hopefully you are at least bored out of your mind and wishing for me to stop, so I'll spare you the displeasure of hearing my autistic, toddler- logical bullshit any longer. Thank you.
 
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|file= Sonicrainboom.png
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|appearance = [[Jungle bells]]}}</div>
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[[Category:Special]]

Revision as of 23:03, 27 October 2024

Welcome to the CWCki!
The premier encyclopedia on the lolcow Chris-Chan,
author of Sonichu, controversial YouTube personality,
transgender goddess, and formerly incarcerated motherfucker.
OBSERVE CHRISTORY. DON'T MAKE CHRISTORY.
We currently have 2,712 articles... and counting!
"Any names, or persons, discussed in this wiki,
that may seem similar to anyone in real life,
are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic."
We highly advise against trying to contact or otherwise
seek out Chris, or anyone who currently is or has
previously been associated with him, in any way.
 CWCki Banner Introduction.jpg


v • d • e  
New to the CWCki? Here's how you can get started.
New? Start here!
Major articles
Sonichu
Love Quest
Fantasies
Internet
Important people
Important places
Mental Health
Editing the CWCki

v • d • e  
Check this out!
Chris meets GodBear • Watch & Win Sweepstakes • AN F IN ENGLISH CLASS?! • Slam attack! • Attraction Sign • "I'M STILL STUCK AS A VIRGIN WITH RAGE!" • It's Fraggle Rock, Father. • Future Message • Kick, Punch, it's all in the mind! • CWC is Angry • Masturbating and squirtin' • ShecameforCWC.JPG • Dykes...Dykes! CHINA! • Medallion Destruction • The Pickle Man tricked me again... • Boobies! Vaginas. Mmm... • I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD! • DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS • I'm cuttin it down! • JULAAAY! • Ohio trip • Medallion up the ass • Date with Emily • I'll be in your dreams! • Holding Out For a Hero • GONNA STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! • MAKE YOU EAT YOUR UNDERWEARRRRR! • I have your mugshot... • Pyong, pyong, pyong! • Bottoms up! • I get BLANGRY! • Grand number of pounds • Crazy nudie audition • I love you so much, I love you so muuuuuch! • I got a fish! • Rollin' and Trollin' • BURN IN HELL! • OK2BGay • Chris humps his PS3 • SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE • SingStar Challenge • MY! NAME! IS! NOT! IAN! BRANDON! SOMETHING! • DIEEEEEEE YOU! • I've got a little Chun-Li within me. • OFF! THE! INTERNET! • Sign Destruction Video • Half-and-half! • Chris Loses It • Chris Did 9/11 • Father Call • Parkay • OH MY GOD!!! UGH!!! ARE YOU REALLY A HERMAPHRODITE?! • BUDDHA BELLY AND EXAGGERATED MANBOOBS! • Patti will have your soul tonight! • Alec Benson Leary calls • CURSE-YE-HA-ME-HA! • Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots! • Trolling stupid pickle suited... • JEW! • Fridays After Five • JenkinsJinkies • Chris writes underage gay erotica • Chris destroys his PS3 • Mr Popo Cosplay • DivineTrial • Electric Hedgehog power! • Chris Chan's a real nigga! • Tomgirl pictures • Cakefarts • Goodbye Horses • Chris Rocks Out • Chris and his mom do a hit-and-run • Burning down the house • Sonic's arms are NOT blue! • Don't call anybody! • HelloLadyFans • Proposition to Sega • Frozen Semen • Please have my babies. • Stephanie Bustcakes • Die, Trump, die! • DIY Vagina • Do not hate! Hate is not so good. • #HarassCWCdirectly • Chris dances with Magi-Chan • Q&A NO MORE! • Get Out, You D*** Nazis • Dick Licker; that is I • Hey now, you're an All-Star! • TooManyGames meltdown • AY, YOU TOILET! • Chris kisses Cryzel • Chris screams at the camera • Just keep reading... • The Last Will and Testament of Chris-Chan • THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES. • HASBROOOOOOO! • The Point of No Return • The Perp Walk of Shame • I am Literally also Jesus Christ • It was all my Mom's Idea • Pinned Down at the Nuthouse • AND I BRING, PERSONALLY, THE SECOND COMING. • Team Rocket's stupid! • You shipped me with that Snorlax!

Meta: Love Quest • Transgender • Business • Financhu Crisis • Roleplay • Dimensional Merge • Praetor

Pre-Christory: Early Childhood • Nathaniel Greene • Bearstein • High School

Early Adult Chronicles: PVCC • GAMePLACe • Megan • Stackhouse

Classic Chris: ED • Blanca • Jimmy Hill • Clyde Cash • PandaHalo • Miyamoto • Julie • PS3 Hacking • Emily • Ivy • Vanessa • CWCipedia • Liquid • Asperchu • Tito

Dark Ages: First Exile • Jackie • Calling Out • Second Exile

Renaissance: Catherine • Sonic Boom • Lady Managers • Pmurt • Doopie • Quinn

Transcendental Awakening: Idea Guy • Prequel Comic • Guard Dog • TTS • GOPony • Jacob

Rise-N-Fall: Copitz • TF2 Analysis • Arbitarch • Secret Shipfic • Watchmen • Lainchu • Crystalgate • KwaiiSandbag • Warhol • Everfree • Incest

Silent Years: Jail • Third Exile

Second Coming: Revelations

Body: Drugs • Fashion • Gender • Health • Nutrition • Sex

Psyche: Coping • Manipulation • Mental healthcare • Nostalgia • Reality

Personality: Anger • Ego • Hypocrisy • Kindness • Negligence • Personality • Remorse • Stress

Expression: Art • Censorship • English • Language • Music • Oratory • Spanish • Writing

Society: Animals • Contests • Death • The Law • Politics • Pornography • Race • Reading • Religion • Sexuality • Socialization • Sports

Business: Brand loyalty • Business • Copyright • Money • Negotiation • Work

Technology: AI • Cameras • Electronics • The Internet • Science • Television • Video Games
2003 • 2004 • 2005 • 2006 • 2007 • 2008 • 2009 • 2010 • 2011 • 2012 • 2013 • 2014 • 2015 • 2016 • 2017 • 2018 • 2019 • 2020 • 2021 • 2022 • 2023 • 2024

Quote of the Now

“ I have been drawing. I'm just waiting until it's complete before puting anything of it online. ”
Chris on Bluesky

Article of the Week

HonestContent.jpg

Lesbian Sex Audition is a YouTube video uploaded by Chris (as IMG 3207) on 31 May 2016, in which he shows off his unappreciated acrobatic sexual prowess in hopes to impress a lesbian couple, Sam and Ellen, who hoped to raise a baby by means of natural impregnation. Its contents are essentially a more SFW version of For Julie's Eyes Only (mostly because he's not technically naked). Chris attempts to demonstrate his sexual prowess with a blow-up doll, explaining his actions as he goes along, with the notion that he will treat Sam or Ellen to this sort of sexual experience should they allow him to impregnate one of them. He starts simple, attempting to perform cunnilingus on the doll's stomach and shoving his face in its rear with the offer of anal to Sam and Ellen (even though this categorically couldn't impregnate them) but moves on to advanced techniques such as helicoptering the doll around on his dick, all the while humming childish tunes and imitating voices. The tour-de-force concludes with Chris claiming that spinning a plastic sex doll on top of him for a few minutes was "a good workout" and mentioning that his dick is "five, seven inches long".

(More...)

This Day in Christory

forum.

Today in Christory, in 2004, an article about Sonichu is featured in the PVCC newsletter, The Forum.

(more...)

Did You Know...

Improvement Projects of the Now

GO WORK ON IT!

The article in desperate need of improvement at the moment is the Golden Church of Sonichu.

The following long-term projects to improve the wiki are also needed:

  • A backlog of chats that extends back several years, to finish adding to chat pages or mention in articles. Some chats are still archived on Kiwi Farms only and need to be saved elsewhere.

Shirt of the Week

The Sonic Rainboom!

From the Business saga:

Appeared in Jungle bells.

Da Update

CWCki News.png
It is currently April 2025. It has been...
12
 day(s) since Chris was last spotted in public.
We highly advise against seeking out Chris, or anyone who is or has previously been associated with him, in any way.
Current Updates
Recently Uncovered Info


CWCki News

CWCki wants you by Java Jake.png
Account Creation
NOTE: You must be 18 years or older to get an account.

Account creation for the CWCki is open. To request an account, contact a CWCki Jerkop. They can be reached at -

the Official CWCki Server Discord - message:

  • Hurtful Truth Level, or
  • Larry the Larryhog

Official CWCki Server Discord • Kiwi Farms forum • CWCki Club forum • r/ChrisChanSonichu

Check out the Official CWCki Server Discord, and the sections about Chris at the Kiwi Farms, the CWCki Club forums, and the Chris Chan subreddit, full of lively and often times thoughtful discussions on Chris and Sonichu. (Use the wiki talk pages or the CWCki-related channels in the Discord for article-related discussions).

Picture of the Now

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Video of the Now

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