Difference between revisions of "Main Page"

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Welcome to my wiki!
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I am a fat, autistic, self- centered man- child, who doesn't care about you, honest content, or any of that bullshit. I do not understand people, society, how to have a friend or how to entertain people, I pretend to to 'fool' people. If you actually believed me, go and dive out of your window now. My house is a public health hazard, somebody should destroy it. Kill me and my mom 'snorlax' while you're at it. In one of my crazy autistic sessions, I somehow decided you actually want to read about my life, which, I know, is complete and utter horseshit. But I'm too much of a lazy fatass to delete it. So, now there are loads of pile-of-shit pages you can read about my waste of a life and feel better about yourself.
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P.S. There are no pictures on this front page, because for once I understand how you feel and know you don't want to see my fat, aspie, perma-virgin, ass-lookalike face. Please troll my wiki to your heart's content, I guess its the only way it will ever be what you could relate to 'fun'. If you find any special needs, love- deprived, self centered assholes (such as myself) trying to moderate posts and support me, because they feel good having someone they can relate to, be sure to let them know the world is better off without them and nothing their mis-functioning, infant-mental-age brains can shit out all over the internet will actually help or interest anyone and people of their mentality should seek professional help, actually try to mould their obssessive fantasies into something helpful to society (yeah, they're gonna make the effort to do that (!), being as self- centered and socially exclusive as they are), or, most beneficial to moost people, commit suicide.
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<div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em; color:#000;">Welcome to the [[CWCki]]!</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">The premier encyclopedia on the lolcow [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-Chan]],<br>author of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', controversial [[YouTube]] personality,<br>[[transgender]] [[Messiah complex|goddess]], and [[:File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 25 August 2023.png|formerly]] [[Jail Saga|incarcerated]] [[Affair with Mother|motherfucker]].</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">'''''[[Passive observers|OBSERVE]] CHRISTORY. DON'T [[Unholy Tetrad|MAKE]] CHRISTORY.'''''</div>
<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%; text-align:center; font-size:85%;">We currently have [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles... and counting!</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">''"Any names, or persons, discussed in this wiki,<br> that may seem similar to anyone in real life, <br>are purely coincidental, or otherwise [[parody|parodic]]."''</div>
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That's my explanation for why this abominative waste of pixels exists, straight from the horse's ass. If you're still reading this, you are a fucking nerd, but hopefully you are at least bored out of your mind and wishing for me to stop, so I'll spare you the displeasure of hearing my autistic, toddler- logical bullshit any longer. Thank you.
 
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[[Category:Special]]

Revision as of 14:26, 19 May 2024

Welcome to the CWCki!
The premier encyclopedia on the lolcow Chris-Chan,
author of Sonichu, controversial YouTube personality,
transgender goddess, and formerly incarcerated motherfucker.
OBSERVE CHRISTORY. DON'T MAKE CHRISTORY.
We currently have 2,622 articles... and counting!
"Any names, or persons, discussed in this wiki,
that may seem similar to anyone in real life,
are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic."
CWCki Banner Transgender.png


Quote of the Now

To the individual taking the recent pictures of me, we have cameras, and we know what car you drive. We will not release your license plates. But the puzzle pieces were easy to put together. Square mirrors, and that was not even my car in the mirror. Plus the time you u-turned and took my picture.

Point is, I really do not like photos of me being taken without my prior consent, in stores or anywhere, period. I can very well easily go to the proper people, including store management or authorities, with the respective footage and find you.

So, to this guy and the rest of you, Please Stop taking pictures or videos of me behind my back and without my consent.

Thank you. ⚡️💙⚡️

Chris

Article of the Week

StraightFlag.jpg

SLGBTQ is a CWC-ism variant of the more common acronym LGBTQ, an acronym for "lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer". Chris coined his variant on the term sometime in April or May 2017 but did not explain the reasoning behind his alteration until a Facebook post on 21 May 2017. He has since used the term consistently in contexts where most people would use the more conventional acronym, cementing its CWC-ism status.

The "Q", for the blanket terms "queer" or "questioning", is a reasonably common addition by modern activists. Chris paid fairly little attention to the letter in his explanation; he likely picked it up from organizations such as the Human Rights Campaign or Cville Pride, both of whom routinely include it. More notable is Chris's inclusion of an "S" for "straight", which he explained as being to welcome non-LGBTQ people "with open hearts". As straight people make up the vast majority of the population, Chris's new acronym covers almost everyone (with the notable exception of asexuals), thus defeating the purpose of identifying LGBTQ people as a minority group with common attributes.

(More...)

This Day in Christory

Your tax dollars at work.

Today in Christory, in 2010, Chris visited the Charlottesville Best Buy and spent $60.87 on Nintendo DS games and a pink memory card.

(more...)

Did You Know...

Improvement Projects of the Now

GO WORK ON IT!

The article in desperate need of improvement at the moment is the Golden Church of Sonichu.

The following long-term projects to improve the wiki are also needed:

  • A backlog of chats that extends back several years, to finish adding to chat pages or mention in articles. Some chats are still archived on Kiwi Farms only and need to be saved elsewhere.

Shirt of the Week

From the Business saga:

Appeared in Jungle bells.

Da Update

CWCki News.png
It is currently June 2024. It has been...
4
day(s) since Chris was last spotted in public.
We highly advise against seeking out Chris in any way.

Current Updates

Recently Uncovered Info

CWCki News

CWCki wants you by Java Jake.png
Account Creation
NOTE: You must be 18 years or older to get an account.

Account creation for the CWCki is open. To request an account, contact a CWCki Jerkop. They can be reached at -

the Official CWCki Server Discord - message:

  • Hurtful Truth Level, or
  • Larry the Larryhog

Official CWCki Server DiscordCWCki Club forumr/ChrisChanSonichu

Check out the Official CWCki Server Discord, and the section about Chris at the CWCki Club forums, and the Chris Chan subreddit, full of lively and often times thoughtful discussions on Chris and Sonichu. (Use the wiki talk pages or the CWCki-related channels in the Discord for article-related discussions).

Picture of the Now

May 29, 2024 Sighting security camera footage1.jpg

Video of the Now