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Welcome to the CWCki! The premier encyclopedia on the lolcow Chris Chan, the author of Sonichu and (alleged) literal motherfucker. We currently have 2,713 articles...and counting! "Any names, or persons, discussed in this wiki, that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic."

Article of the Week Lesbian Sex Audition is a YouTube video uploaded by Chris (as IMG 3207) on 31 May 2016, in which he shows off his unappreciated acrobatic sexual prowess in hopes to impress a lesbian couple, Sam and Ellen, who hoped to raise a baby by means of natural impregnation. Its contents are essentially a more SFW version of For Julie's Eyes Only (mostly because he's not technically naked). Chris attempts to demonstrate his sexual prowess with a blow-up doll, explaining his actions as he goes along, with the notion that he will treat Sam or Ellen to this sort of sexual experience should they allow him to impregnate one of them. He starts simple, attempting to perform cunnilingus on the doll's stomach and shoving his face in its rear with the offer of anal to Sam and Ellen (even though this categorically couldn't impregnate them) but moves on to advanced techniques such as helicoptering the doll around on his dick, all the while humming childish tunes and imitating voices. The tour-de-force concludes with Chris claiming that spinning a plastic sex doll on top of him for a few minutes was "a good workout" and mentioning that his dick is "five, seven inches long". (More...) Incarceration Counter It has been... 1,371 days since Chris was last placed in custody. 592 days since the last known communication from Chris. We highly advise against contacting Chris in any way. Jesus Counter It has been 1,003 days since Chris last claimed to be Jesus Christ. Jailhouse Begging Counter Do not send money to Chris: satisfying a degenerate inmate's sweet tooth is a waste of your hard earned C-Quarters. It has been… 1,010 days since Chris last begged for money to waste on food from his jail’s commissary. This Day in Christory Today in Christory, in 2009, Chris begins to edit his very own answer to the CWCki, the CWCipedia, with webspace provided by Cogsdev. Needless to say, it isn't long before he starts using it as his very own website, since he doesn't need to spend his tugboat on webspace. (more...) Did You Know... ... that Chris really likes Britney Spears (no matter what they all say)? ... and that his favorite song from "Air Britney" is "E-Mail My Heart"? ... that a male idiot tried to put out a fire while Chris just stood there and watched? ... that Liquid Chris's real name is CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!? ... and that Solid Chris's name is not Ian Brandon Anderson? ... that Jerkops are actually mall security "in colors other than blue and black"? ... that the Saw movies are some of Chris's favorite movies? ... that Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church is a church for all of God and Jesus's children, regardless of age, race, gender, socio-economic situation, or sexual orientation? ... that Bob Chandler helped host the WTJU Marathon back in 1990? ... that Chris's duck is bigger than previously photographed, and is no longer bent? ... that Chris sells driveway gravel for $15 a bag? ... and that people actually buy it?

Quote of the Now “ I have been drawing. I'm just waiting until it's complete before puting anything of it online. ” Chris on Bluesky Da Update It is currently May 2025. It has been... 16 day(s) since Chris was last spotted in public. We highly advise against seeking out Chris, or anyone who is or has previously been associated with him, in any way. Current Updates 2 May - Chris uploads Light Powered Cwclight Reviews - Fireshot. 18 April - Chris uploads Light Powered Cwclight Reviews - Chapper. 17 April - Chris uploads Reviews from Chris Chan Etsy Store April 2025. 11 April - The fifth episode of The Chris Chan Conspiracy is released, featuring new footage of TheGamerFromMars interviewing Chris at various locations. 4 April: Chris is spotted in Finland. Chris uploads Light Powered Cwclight Reviews - Wave. Recently Uncovered Info 22 April - The Cat's Corner livestream comments from March 2021 18 March - ThePCAssassins phone calls with Bob. CWCki News Account Creation NOTE: You must be 18 years or older to get an account. Account creation for the CWCki is open. To request an account, contact a CWCki Jerkop. They can be reached at - the Official CWCki Server Discord - message: Hurtful Truth Level, or Larry the Larryhog Official CWCki Server Discord • Kiwi Farms forum • CWCki Club forum • r/ChrisChanSonichu Check out the Official CWCki Server Discord, and the sections about Chris at the Kiwi Farms, the CWCki Club forums, and the Chris Chan subreddit, full of lively and often times thoughtful discussions on Chris and Sonichu. (Use the wiki talk pages or the CWCki-related channels in the Discord for article-related discussions).

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