Difference between revisions of "2011"

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(Replaced content with "'''2011''' is the third year of organised trolling of the Internet's favorite LOLcow, Christian Weston Chandler. In 2011, Chris will turn 29. ==January== {{main|January ...")
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Things <s>planned</s> that will happen in '''2011''':
'''2011''' is the third year of organised trolling of the Internet's favorite LOLcow, [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. In 2011, Chris will turn 29.


[[Image:FutureChris.jpg|thumb|[[Chris]] in '''2011''']]
==January==
[[Image:The toppling of Christian.jpg|thumb|'''February 24:''' A year after the proclamation of [[Christian Love Day]], the citizens of [[CWCville]] revolt against their tyrant, undoing all the damage done in his "crusade of [[Honest Content|honesty]]"]]
{{main|January 2011}}
[[Image:Sonichuspore1.png|thumb|"ALL Sonichus are [[Homos|STRAIGHT]]!"]]
* '''SPOILER ALERT:''' Chris still [[virgin with rage|won't have a girlfriend]]
* A new page of [[Asperchu/Background|Asperchu]] will finally be released.
*[[Scampers Chandler|Scampers]] runs away. ''(go go Scampers! :3)''
*''[[Wikipedia:Spore (2008 video game)|Spore]]'' is finally ported to consoles. Chris immediately makes [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] creatures. In a fundamental misunderstanding of how the game works, he flips out when it appears Sonichu is having [[Homos|gay]] sex with a clone of himself in Creature Stage. Chris accuses [[Wikipedia:Will Wright (game designer)|Will Wright]] of being a damn dirty troll. 
*[[Bob Chandler]] finally goes to cut down the [[Internet]] in Heaven.
*[[Autism|High Functioning Autism]] is officially recognized by the [[America]]n Psychological Association and listed in DSM-5.
*''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' & ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu the Game]]'' are released as [[Hex Bawx|Kinect]] exclusive titles, earning Chris millions and mad [[lie|poon]], but at the compromise of his beliefs. Chris later sues Microsoft to cease publication of his game and port it to [[Wii]] and [[PS3]]. He loses the lawsuit and is ordered to repay all of the revenue he made from his games.
*Hasbro, in cooperation with [[The Miscreants]], releases a board game based off CWC's life, dubbed "[[Kick the Autistic]]" which quickly becomes America's favorite game.
*Having made millions of dollars from their famous game, [[Clyde Cash]] is able to bring his organization back into the public. He then enlists the help of [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[User:Cogsdev|Webmaster Cogsdev]] to construct a network of proxy A.I.s to run all future organized trolling from then on out. Clyde is then allowed to retire in peace, knowing [[Ryan Cash|his brother's]] will had been carried on...
*With her cat and husband gone and her son a total failure, [[Barbara Chandler]] attempts suicide, but due to her extreme size she is unable to kill herself and she expires in a mound of fecal matter.
*Chris goes to the [[Charlottesville]] [[Mal-Wart]] armed with an [[IBA Chandler]] sniper rifle. In a fit of tard [[rage]], he fires at several [[manager]]s and [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend un-free boys]], missing every time.
*Chris is sentenced to six months house arrest for his failed rampage. He starts storming [[YouTube]] with meaningless [[PSEye]] videos again and tries to convince women to come to his house.
*Chris is released from house arrest, and soon proceeds to run over two people with [[Son-Chu]] while pretending his car is a <s>[[Transformers|Transformer]]</s> [[Metal Gear|walking battle tank]].
*For his crime, Chris is sentenced to two years in prison. He struggles to STAY STRAIGHT, but is raped by [[niggos]] daily.
*Chris is let off after one month for good behavior, and is instead sentenced to house arrest, yet again...
*Virginian [[police]] discover the corpse of a [[Zapina|14-year-old girl]] who had been [[rape]]d several miles from [[14 Branchland Court]]. Numerous signs of trauma to her [[vagina]], traces of [[semen]] and [[Fanta]] are found on the corpse, and [[Medallion|pieces of Crayola model magic]] are found [[Julie Reveals Herself|shoved up her anus]]. However, the chemicals in the Fanta completely destroyed any DNA, hindering the investigation. Decorated officer [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]] is put in charge of the investigation, and personally swears to bring the perpetrator to justice.
*Chris kidnaps, rapes and murders nearly every single one of his past [[gal pal]]s and then attempts to create the "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]" by stitching together their various body parts and tries to reanimate them using the Anchuent powers of his [[Amnyfest Ring]], the [[Heart Torch of Fail]], and his [[PS3]]. None of the methods work.
*Chris proceeds to instead stick the Heart Torch of Fail up his ass and creates Crystal, who later dies 5 seconds after seeing her father. Chris then rapes her corpse.
*After removing said object from his ass, he finds out at least 15 [[Pixelblocks]] are trapped in his ass. He is hospitalized for a week.
*[[Patti-Chan]] is resurrected by Maya shamans in preparation of the 13th baktun: the end has begun.
*Chris's carelessness after the kidnapping spree finally gives the Virginian state police the evidence to go after him. After a lengthy car chase in Son-Chu down the interstate, the police finally corner him at a [[McDonald's]], forcing Chris to make a last stand. As Chris steps out of the car, brandishing a vintage [[Megatron Pistol|WWII German pistol]], Officer Baggett orders Chris to put the gun down. Chris replies "[[random-access humor|Down where? All that's down there is the ground]]" and starts charging a [[curse ye ha me ha]] attack. Police are forced to open fire. Footage of Chris being gunned down is broadcast live across the country, resulting in Bagget's promotion to police commissioner.
*Barbara's corpse is discovered during a search on their house, half-eaten by [[Kitty]] and a zombie-esque Patti.
*Chris, lying in the hospital and dying of his wounds, feels shame for the first time in his life, causing him to collapse into a singularity of self-loathing.
*The CWC Saga is declared over, and heroic [[trolls]] everywhere retire in peace to live happy successful lives. The [[CWCki]] is left up as a monument to Christian's [[fail]].
*Chris's body is sent off to NASA, who after extensive research discover that Chris really was a hedgehog all along.
*On [[Christmas]] Day 2011, scientists announce that they had created a cure for [[autism]], derived from chemicals found in Christian's body.
*''Chris-Chan: An Autistic Odyssey'' is picked up by Warner Bros and quickly becomes the most popular horror film of all time (starring Philip Seymour Hoffman as Chris, Clint Eastwood as Bob, Kathy Bates as Barbara, Ulliel Gaspard as [[Liquid]], Emma Watson as [[Kacey]], Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino as [[Clyde Cash]], Ken Leung as [[Mao]], Rebecca Hall as [[Vivian Gee]], Jason Scott Lee as [[Surfshack Tito]], Ashley Tisdale as [[Sarah Hammer]], Ellen Page as [[Megan]], Samuel L. Jackson as [[Jerkhief]], Tom Baker as [[Michael Snyder]], Judi Dench as [[Mary Lee Walsh]], Lucy Liu as [[Vivian Gee]], Bruce Willis as [[Cole Smithey]] and Jaleel White as the voice of Sonichu). Cole tarnishes the film by giving it the only negative review.


<gallery>
==Unknown date==
Image:SchuRL.jpg|[[Sonichu]] in '''2011'''.
*[[Autism|High Functioning Autism]] will be officially recognized by the [[America]]n Psychological Association and listed in DSM-V.  
Image:Rosechu.jpg|[[Rosechu]] in '''2011'''.
Image:Alenci.jpg|[[Angelica]] in '''2011'''.
Image:Simonl.jpg|What [[Simonla]] could have looked like in '''2011'''.
</gallery>


{{Timeline}}
{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]
[[Category:Chronology]]

Revision as of 16:30, 30 December 2010

2011 is the third year of organised trolling of the Internet's favorite LOLcow, Christian Weston Chandler. In 2011, Chris will turn 29.

January

Main article: January 2011

Unknown date

CWChronology
Introductory Articles:
Introduction and Terminology · Timeline · Saga
By decade:
Pre-1980 · 1980s · 1990s · 2000s · 2010s · 2020s
By year:
2000s — 2000 · 2001 · 2002 · 2003 · 2004 · 2005 · 2006 · 2007 · 2008 · 2009
2010s — 2010 · 2011 · 2012 · 2013 · 2014 · 2015 · 2016 · 2017 · 2018 · 2019
2020s — 2020 · 2021 · 2022 · 2023 · 2024
By month:
2008 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
2009 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
2010 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
2011 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
2012 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
2013 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
2014 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
2015 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
2016 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
2017 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
2018 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
2019 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
2020 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
2021 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
2022 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
2023 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
2024 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
By Era/Saga:

Meta: Love Quest • Transgender • Business • Financhu Crisis • Roleplay • Dimensional Merge

Pre-Christory: Early Childhood • Nathaniel Greene • Leonard Bearstein • High School

Early Adult Chronicles: PVCC • Megan • Stackhouse

Classic Chris: ED • Blanca • GAMePLACe • Jimmy Hill • Clyde Cash • PandaHalo • Miyamoto • Julie • PSN Hacking • Emily • Ivy • Vanessa • CWCipedia • Liquid • Asperchu • Tito

Dark Ages: First Exile • Jackie • Calling Out • Second Exile

Renaissance: Catherine • Sonic Boom • Lady Managers • Pmurt • Doopie • Quinn

Transcendental Awakening: Idea Guy • Prequel Comic • Guard Dog • TTS • GOPony • Jacob

Rise-N-Fall: Copitz • TF2 Analysis • Secret Shipfic • Watchmen • Praetor • Warhol • Incest

Silent Years: Jail • Third Exile

Second Coming: Revelations

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