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(Leave me and Jessica alone. Stay safe - Christine W Chandler)
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<div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em; color:#000;">Welcome to the [[CWCki]]!</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">The premier encyclopedia on the lolcow [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-Chan]],<br>author of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', controversial [[YouTube]] personality,<br>[[transgender]] [[Messiah complex|goddess]], and [[:File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 25 August 2023.png|formerly]] [[Jail Saga|incarcerated]] [[Affair with Mother|motherfucker]].</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">'''''[[Passive observers|OBSERVE]] CHRISTORY. DON'T [[Unholy Quintet|MAKE]] CHRISTORY.'''''</div>
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<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">''"Any names, or persons, discussed in this wiki,<br> that may seem similar to anyone in real life, <br>are purely coincidental, or otherwise [[parody|parodic]]."<br>'''''We highly advise ''against'' trying to contact or otherwise<br> seek out Chris, or anyone who currently is or has<br> previously been associated with him, in ''any'' way.'''''</div>
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Skeet is the god of eternity at the McSpanky's fast food restaurant. Skeet calls everyone, "dude," and claims to be smart, but others see him as dim-witted. However, McSpanky's came to life and tried to destroy every other food joint and Skeet did not run away. When the restaurant was shot at the sun, the Space Bandits found the place and turned it into a spaceship. Believing that Skeet was the one responsible for this awesome technology, they vowed to find him and exploit his great wisdom, which they never did, for some reason.
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Skeet, initially called upon as Skeetui Yoshimato, was raised in an exceedingly poor rice village in southern Koyushu. His grandfather was a war trained assassin who was tasked to eliminate U.S operatives. Although Skeetu's grandfather was Japanese, he was fluent in American English. This is why "Skeet" sounds like a typical American teenage boy. After many years of vigorous katana training on Mt. Fuji, Skeet traveled to the United States of America in hopes of beginniing a new life, honoring his ancestors in the process. Skeetui wanted to experience the American Dream, and thought working in fast food would be a good place to start. So, after moving to Retroville, Skeetui earned a job position as the cashier at McSpanky's. Soon, through hard work and dedication, he became employee of the month. This was an achievement unparalleled by any employee of McSpanky's. When Jimbo and two of his friends walked in and talked about getting a job at the restaurant, Skeetui made a seemingly irrational move by hiring the boys. However, Skeetui was a man who wanted to give these younger children an opportunity to straighten themselves out. Initially, two of his new employees worked well considering their age. However, Jimbo gave Skeetui trouble in a now-notorious incident in which Jimbo claimed to be smarter than the cash register, therefore stating he didn't need to use it. But, the cash register is used for tracking purposes, validating Skeetui's discontent with Jimbo. Later that night, Jimbo would sneak into McSpanky's and would commit vandalism by changing the interior to appear futuristic. As if this weren't the worst case, Jimbo also attached rockets to the restaurant, launching it into the air. As the restaurant was taking off, Skeetui was bravely saving the lives of men, women, and children alike by line backing them off the premise. However, time was very limited, causing the demise of our hero who, soon after, ascended into godhood. 
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  === Trivia ===
__NOTOC____NOEDITSECTION__


Skeetui was originally more powerful in the manga. However, he was nerfed to dish out less damage per second in the anime, as for Jimbo fans would complain. 
[[Category:Special]]
Some look up to Skeetui as the Profit, and is thought to be the messiah that will return one day.
Skeetui roughly translates to "sperm whale", according to fan translations.
It can be observed that Skeetui's main catchphrase is "dude".

Latest revision as of 10:31, 28 August 2025

Welcome to the CWCki!
The premier encyclopedia on the lolcow Chris-Chan,
author of Sonichu, controversial YouTube personality,
transgender goddess, and formerly incarcerated motherfucker.
OBSERVE CHRISTORY. DON'T MAKE CHRISTORY.
We currently have 2,861 articles... and counting!
"Any names, or persons, discussed in this wiki,
that may seem similar to anyone in real life,
are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic."
We highly advise against trying to contact or otherwise
seek out Chris, or anyone who currently is or has
previously been associated with him, in any way.
 CWCki Banner Introduction.jpg


v • d • e  
New to the CWCki? Here's how you can get started.
New? Start here!
Major articles
Sonichu
Love Quest
Fantasies
Internet
Important people
Important places
Mental Health
Editing the CWCki

v • d • e  
Check this out!
Chris meets GodBear • Watch & Win Sweepstakes • AN F IN ENGLISH CLASS?! • Slam attack! • Attraction Sign • "I'M STILL STUCK AS A VIRGIN WITH RAGE!" • It's Fraggle Rock, Father. • Future Message • Kick, Punch, it's all in the mind! • CWC is Angry • Masturbating and squirtin' • ShecameforCWC.JPG • Dykes...Dykes! CHINA! • Medallion Destruction • The Pickle Man tricked me again... • Boobies! Vaginas. Mmm... • I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD! • DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS • I'm cuttin it down! • JULAAAY! • Ohio trip • Medallion up the ass • Date with Emily • I'll be in your dreams! • Holding Out For a Hero • GONNA STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! • MAKE YOU EAT YOUR UNDERWEARRRRR! • I have your mugshot... • Pyong, pyong, pyong! • Bottoms up! • I get BLANGRY! • Grand number of pounds • Crazy nudie audition • I love you so much, I love you so muuuuuch! • I got a fish! • Rollin' and Trollin' • BURN IN HELL! • OK2BGay • Chris humps his PS3 • SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE • SingStar Challenge • MY! NAME! IS! NOT! IAN! BRANDON! SOMETHING! • DIEEEEEEE YOU! • I've got a little Chun-Li within me. • OFF! THE! INTERNET! • Sign Destruction Video • Half-and-half! • Chris Loses It • Chris Did 9/11 • Father Call • Parkay • OH MY GOD!!! UGH!!! ARE YOU REALLY A HERMAPHRODITE?! • BUDDHA BELLY AND EXAGGERATED MANBOOBS! • Patti will have your soul tonight! • Alec Benson Leary calls • CURSE-YE-HA-ME-HA! • Don't Mess With Me • Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots! • Trolling stupid pickle suited... • JEW! • Fridays After Five • JenkinsJinkies • Chris writes underage gay erotica • Chris destroys his PS3 • Mr Popo Cosplay • DivineTrial • Electric Hedgehog power! • Chris Chan's a real nigga! • Tomgirl pictures • Cakefarts • Goodbye Horses • Chris Rocks Out • Chris and his mom do a hit-and-run • No longer a virgin • Burning down the house • Un-clit • Sonic's arms are NOT blue! • Don't call anybody! • HelloLadyFans • Proposition to Sega • Frozen Semen • Please have my babies. • Stephanie Bustcakes • Die, Trump, die! • DIY Vagina • Do not hate! Hate is not so good. • #HarassCWCdirectly • Chris dances with Magi-Chan • Q&A NO MORE! • Get Out, You D*** Nazis • Dick Licker; that is I • Hey now, you're an All-Star! • TooManyGames meltdown • AY, YOU TOILET! • Chris Kisses Cryzel • Chris screams at the camera • Just keep reading... • The Last Will and Testament of Chris-Chan • Why they would never deliver any pizza from this place you FRICKIN-FRACKIN HATING TROLLS! • The time has come to start listing out the back-talkers • THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES. • I'll Be Your Mirror • I crapped my panties • HASBROOOOOOO! • The Point of No Return • The Perp Walk of Shame • I am Literally also Jesus Christ • It was all my Mom's Idea • Pinned Down at the Nuthouse • AND I BRING, PERSONALLY, THE SECOND COMING. • Team Rocket's stupid! • You shipped me with that Snorlax! • Classic Chris is dead • Rebirth of the medallion • Chris speaks gibberish for about 2 minutes

Meta: Love Quest • Transgender • Business • Financhu Crisis • Roleplay • Dimensional Merge • Praetor

Pre-Christory: Early Childhood • Nathaniel Greene • Bearstein • High School

Early Adult Chronicles: PVCC • GAMePLACe • Megan • Stackhouse

Classic Chris: ED • Blanca • Jimmy Hill • Clyde Cash • PandaHalo • Miyamoto • Julie • PS3 Hacking • Emily • Ivy • Vanessa • CWCipedia • Liquid • Asperchu • Tito

Dark Ages: First Exile • Jackie • Calling Out • Second Exile

Renaissance: Catherine • Sonic Boom • Lady Managers • Pmurt • Doopie • Quinn

Transcendental Awakening: Idea Guy • Prequel Comic • Guard Dog • TTS • GOPony • Jacob

Rise-N-Fall: Copitz • TF2 Analysis • Arbitarch • Secret Shipfic • Watchmen • Saint • ProjectSNT • Chandler's List • Lainchu • Crystalgate • KwaiiSandbag • Warhol • Knights • Incest

Silent Years: Jail • Third Exile

Second Coming: Revelations

Body: Drugs • Fashion • Gender • Health • Nutrition • Sex

Psyche: Coping • Manipulation • Mental healthcare • Nostalgia • Reality

Personality: Anger • Ego • Hypocrisy • Introspection • Kindness • Negligence • Personality • Remorse • Stress

Expression: Art • Censorship • English • Language • Music • Oratory • Spanish • Writing

Society: Animals • Contests • Death • The Law • Politics • Pornography • Race • Reading • Religion • Sexuality • Socialization • Sports

Business: Brand loyalty • Business • Copyright • Money • Negotiation • Work

Technology: AI • Cameras • Electronics • The Internet • Science • Television • Video Games
2003 • 2004 • 2005 • 2006 • 2007 • 2008 • 2009 • 2010 • 2011 • 2012 • 2013 • 2014 • 2015 • 2016 • 2017 • 2018 • 2019 • 2020 • 2021 • 2022 • 2023 • 2024 • 2025 • 2026

Quote of the Now

“ Now, once upon a time back in 2007, I tried doing same with that Encyclopedia Dramatica page. I ended up over-sharing at the time, which I seriously should have never done for a multitude of reasons, in no particular order. For starters, that over-sharing only added fuel onto the LOLCow and hate-filled humor type of fire. I definitely would have wanted a better accurate page, as if a simple single page on @wikipedia.org would not have sufficed. But it ended up becoming an entire website. I blame myself. If it had been an earlier time in 2008, when the details and page count was smaller, I would have probably dedicated at least a month to fix all of that. YET, another reason why I am reluctant: my edits got the CTRL-Z treatment. Not supportive. Why? LOL-COMEDY!!! 🤬🤯🥵 My stressed feelings. And nowadays, if I were to be editor of that website, I'd not only want to rebrand it as the Cwclight and do the sonichu dot com address a better service, but I would obsessively want to cover the ENTIRE website, personally. Read every single word, edit after edit, delete "leaked" emails and stuff; going through it with the finest tooth comb and brush ever. Essentially overhauling it. And by myself, that could take me YEARS to do, when I have my own life to live and all the creativity and godly connections to work with that flow through me. If I could go faster than time with my physical body,... Anyway, if I were to become editor, I'd have to hire a team to do that work for me, searching for all mentions of the most embarrassing and perverted s***, such as pretty much everything with the theoretical exes, Megan Schroeder, bad memes, and so on, and I'd give them my (dis)approvals and have them removed. ”
Chris on Bluesky


Article of the Week

Central Virginia Regional Jail.JPG

Central Virginia Regional Jail (or as Chris once called it, "this Jail of Fail") serves five largely rural counties in central Virginia, including Greene County. It houses both male and female inmates. Chris was sent to the jail following incestuous acts on his mother where he was held without bond from 2 August 2021 through 28 February 2022 - when he was transferred to Western State Hospital - and again from 3 May 2022 until he was released from custody on 27 March 2023. It is located about 21 miles (33 km) away from 14 Branchland Court.

(More...)

Coping Counter

Chris has many maladaptive coping mechanisms based in fantasies and magical thinking that he resorts to when reality doesn't go his way.

It has been…

233
 days since Chris made up a new escapist fantasy to cope with reality.
1,586
 days since Chris claimed to be Jesus Christ to cope with his incarceration.
2,577
 days since the Dimensional Merge was to be completed, a coping mechanism Chris believes will rescue him from his debt and other life problems.
3,011
 days since Chris joined the cult of the Idea Guys, which further fueled his escapist fantasies.


This Day in Christory

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Today in Christory, in 2009, Chris claimed to have left for Redmond, Washington to meet Shigeru Miyamoto.

(more...)

Did You Know...

Improvement Projects of the Now

GO WORK ON IT!

The article in desperate need of improvement at the moment is the Golden Church of Sonichu.

The following articles are in desperate need of transcription work:

The following long-term projects to improve the wiki are also needed:

  • A backlog of chats that extends back several years, to finish adding to chat pages or mention in articles. Some chats are still archived on Kiwi Farms only and need to be saved elsewhere.

Da Update

CWCki News.png
It is currently January 2026. It has been...
4
 day(s) since Chris was last spotted in public.
16
 day(s) since Chris has last livestreamed.

Record Streak: 233 days

We highly advise against seeking out Chris, or anyone who is or has previously been associated with him, in any way.
Current Updates
Only significant events are listed. For all current updates, read Chris's recent social media posts or browse the most recent changes to the CWCki.
Recently Uncovered Info

CWCki News

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Account Creation
NOTE: You must be 18 years or older to get an account.

Account creation for the CWCki is open. To request an account, contact a CWCki Jerkop. They can be reached at -

the Official CWCki Server Discord - message:

  • Hurtful Truth Level, or
  • Larry the Larryhog

Official CWCki Server Discord • Kiwi Farms forum • CWCki Club forum • r/ChrisChanSonichu

Check out the Official CWCki Server Discord, and the sections about Chris at the Kiwi Farms, the CWCki Club forums, and the Chris Chan subreddit, full of lively and often times thoughtful discussions on Chris and Sonichu. (Use the wiki talk pages or the CWCki-related channels in the Discord for article-related discussions).

Picture of the Now

CWC at Goodwill 18 January 2026.jpeg

Video of the Now

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