Difference between revisions of "Main Page"

From CWCki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
(Leave me and Jessica alone. Stay safe - Christine W Chandler)
(Removed shirt of the now because no one was updating it.)
 
(749 intermediate revisions by more than 100 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
[[File:skeetanimehero.jpeg]]
<!--      BANNER ACROSS TOP OF PAGE      -->
{| id="mp-topbanner" style="width:100%; background:#fcfcfc; margin-top:1.2em; border:1px solid #ccc;"
| style="width:100%; color:#000;" |
<!--      "WELCOME TO CWCKI" AND ARTICLE COUNT      -->
{| style="width:100%; border:none; background:none;"
| style="width:50%; text-align:center; white-space:nowrap; color:#000;" |
<div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em; color:#000;">Welcome to the [[CWCki]]!</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">The premier encyclopedia on the lolcow [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-Chan]],<br>author of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', controversial [[YouTube]] personality,<br>[[transgender]] [[Messiah complex|goddess]], and [[:File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 25 August 2023.png|formerly]] [[Jail Saga|incarcerated]] [[Affair with Mother|motherfucker]].</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">'''''[[Passive observers|OBSERVE]] CHRISTORY. DON'T [[Unholy Quintet|MAKE]] CHRISTORY.'''''</div>
<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%; text-align:center; font-size:85%;">We currently have [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles... and counting!</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">''"Any names, or persons, discussed in this wiki,<br> that may seem similar to anyone in real life, <br>are purely coincidental, or otherwise [[parody|parodic]]."<br>'''''We highly advise ''against'' trying to contact or otherwise<br> seek out Chris, or anyone who currently is or has<br> previously been associated with him, in ''any'' way.'''''</div>
|}
<!--      CWCKI IMAGE      -->
| style="width:50%; font-size:100%;"|{{CWCki Banner}}
|}




<!--      CHECK THIS OUT    -->
{| id="mp-tfp" style="margin:4px 0 0 0; width:100%; background:none;"
| class="MainPageBG" style="width:100%; border:1px solid #EEDC82; background:#FFE4B5; vertical-align:top; color:#000;"|
{| cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background:#FFE4B5; color:#000; width:100%"
| style="color:#000;" | {{Newbie}}{{Check this out}}
|}
|}


Skeet is the god of eternity at the McSpanky's fast food restaurant. Skeet calls everyone, "dude," and claims to be smart, but others see him as dim-witted. However, McSpanky's came to life and tried to destroy every other food joint and Skeet did not run away. When the restaurant was shot at the sun, the Space Bandits found the place and turned it into a spaceship. Believing that Skeet was the one responsible for this awesome technology, they vowed to find him and exploit his great wisdom, which they never did, for some reason.
<!--  QUOTE OF THE NOW    -->
{| id="mp-tfp" style="margin:4px 0 0 0; width:100%; background:none;"
| class="MainPageBG" style="width:100%; border:1px solid #ddcef2; background:#faf5ff; vertical-align:top; color:#000;"|
{| cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background:#faf5ff; color:#000; width:100%"
! <h2  id="mp-tfp-h2" style="margin:0; background:#ddcef2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em">[[Template:Quote_of_the_now|Quote of the Now]]</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | {{Quote of the now}}
|}
|}


Skeet, initially called upon as Skeetui Yoshimato, was raised in an exceedingly poor rice village in southern Koyushu. His grandfather was a war trained assassin who was tasked to eliminate U.S operatives. Although Skeetu's grandfather was Japanese, he was fluent in American English. This is why "Skeet" sounds like a typical American teenage boy. After many years of vigorous katana training on Mt. Fuji, Skeet traveled to the United States of America in hopes of beginniing a new life, honoring his ancestors in the process. Skeetui wanted to experience the American Dream, and thought working in fast food would be a good place to start. So, after moving to Retroville, Skeetui earned a job position as the cashier at McSpanky's. Soon, through hard work and dedication, he became employee of the month. This was an achievement unparalleled by any employee of McSpanky's. When Jimbo and two of his friends walked in and talked about getting a job at the restaurant, Skeetui made a seemingly irrational move by hiring the boys. However, Skeetui was a man who wanted to give these younger children an opportunity to straighten themselves out. Initially, two of his new employees worked well considering their age. However, Jimbo gave Skeetui trouble in a now-notorious incident in which Jimbo claimed to be smarter than the cash register, therefore stating he didn't need to use it. But, the cash register is used for tracking purposes, validating Skeetui's discontent with Jimbo. Later that night, Jimbo would sneak into McSpanky's and would commit vandalism by changing the interior to appear futuristic. As if this weren't the worst case, Jimbo also attached rockets to the restaurant, launching it into the air. As the restaurant was taking off, Skeetui was bravely saving the lives of men, women, and children alike by line backing them off the premise. However, time was very limited, causing the demise of our hero who, soon after, ascended into godhood. 
<!--    ARTICLE OF THE WEEK; COPING COUNTER; CHRISTORY; DID YOU KNOW?      -->
{| id="mp-upper" style="margin:0 0 0 0; background:none;"
| class="MainPageBG" style="width:55%; border:1px solid #cef2e0; background:#f5fffa; vertical-align:top; color:#000;" |
{| id="mp-left" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="width:100%; vertical-align:top; background:#f5fffa;"
| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">[[Template:Article of the now|Article of the Week]]</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Article of the now}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">[[Template:Coping Counter|Coping Counter]]</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Coping Counter}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">[[Template:Christory|This Day in Christory]]</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Christory}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">[[Template:Did you know|Did You Know...]]</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Did you know}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">[[Template:Improvement|Improvement Projects of the Now]]</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Template:Improvement}}</div>
|-
|}
| style="border:1px solid transparent;" |
<!--        CHECK THIS OUT; DA UPDATE;      -->
| class="MainPageBG" style="width:45%; border:1px solid #cedff2; background:#f5faff; vertical-align:top;"|
{| id="mp-right" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="width:100%; vertical-align:top; background:#f5faff;"
| <h2 id="mp-otd-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cedff2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">[[template:Da update|Da Update]]</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Da update}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-otd-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cedff2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">[[Template:CWCki News|CWCki News]]</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{CWCki News}}</div>
|-
|}
|}
{| id="mp-lower" style="margin:4px 0 0 0; width:100%; background:none;"
<!--        PICTURE OF THE NOW      -->
| class="MainPageBG" style="width:55%; border:1px solid #ddcef2; background:#faf5ff; vertical-align:top;"|
{| id="mp-left" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="width:100%; vertical-align:top; background:#faf5ff;"
| <h2 id="mp-tfp-h2" style="margin:0; background:#ddcef2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">[[Template:Picture of the now|Picture of the Now]]</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Picture of the now}}</div>
|}
| style="border:1px solid transparent;" |
<!--        VIDEO OF THE NOW      -->
| class="MainPageBG" style="width:45%; border:1px solid #ddcef2; background:#faf5ff; vertical-align:top;"|
{| id="mp-right" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="width:100%; vertical-align:top; background:#faf5ff;"
| <h2 id="mp-tfp-h2" style="margin:0; background:#ddcef2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em">[[Template:Video of the now|Video of the Now]]</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Video of the now}}</div>
|}
|}
<!--        INTERWIKI STRAPLINE        -->


  === Trivia ===
__NOTOC____NOEDITSECTION__


Skeetui was originally more powerful in the manga. However, he was nerfed to dish out less damage per second in the anime, as for Jimbo fans would complain. 
[[Category:Special]]
Some look up to Skeetui as the Profit, and is thought to be the messiah that will return one day.
Skeetui roughly translates to "sperm whale", according to fan translations.
It can be observed that Skeetui's main catchphrase is "dude".

Latest revision as of 11:31, 28 August 2025

Welcome to the CWCki!
The premier encyclopedia on the lolcow Chris-Chan,
author of Sonichu, controversial YouTube personality,
transgender goddess, and formerly incarcerated motherfucker.
OBSERVE CHRISTORY. DON'T MAKE CHRISTORY.
We currently have 2,925 articles... and counting!
"Any names, or persons, discussed in this wiki,
that may seem similar to anyone in real life,
are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic."
We highly advise against trying to contact or otherwise
seek out Chris, or anyone who currently is or has
previously been associated with him, in any way.
 CWCki Banner Transgender.png


v • d • e  
New to the CWCki? Here's how you can get started.
New? Start here!
Major articles
Sonichu
Love Quest
Fantasies
Internet
Important people
Important places
Mental Health
Editing the CWCki

v • d • e  
Check this out!
Chris meets GodBear • Watch & Win Sweepstakes • AN F IN ENGLISH CLASS?! • Slam attack! • Attraction Sign • "I'M STILL STUCK AS A VIRGIN WITH RAGE!" • It's Fraggle Rock, Father. • Future Message • Kick, Punch, it's all in the mind! • CWC is Angry • Masturbating and squirtin' • ShecameforCWC.JPG • Dykes...Dykes! CHINA! • Medallion Destruction • The Pickle Man tricked me again... • Boobies! Vaginas. Mmm... • I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD! • DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS • I'm cuttin it down! • JULAAAY! • Ohio trip • Medallion up the ass • Date with Emily • I'll be in your dreams! • Holding Out For a Hero • GONNA STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! • MAKE YOU EAT YOUR UNDERWEARRRRR! • I have your mugshot... • Pyong, pyong, pyong! • Bottoms up! • I get BLANGRY! • Grand number of pounds • Crazy nudie audition • I love you so much, I love you so muuuuuch! • I got a fish! • Rollin' and Trollin' • BURN IN HELL! • OK2BGay • Chris humps his PS3 • SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE • SingStar Challenge • MY! NAME! IS! NOT! IAN! BRANDON! SOMETHING! • DIEEEEEEE YOU! • I've got a little Chun-Li within me. • OFF! THE! INTERNET! • Sign Destruction Video • Half-and-half! • Chris Loses It • Chris Did 9/11 • Father Call • Parkay • OH MY GOD!!! UGH!!! ARE YOU REALLY A HERMAPHRODITE?! • BUDDHA BELLY AND EXAGGERATED MANBOOBS! • Patti will have your soul tonight! • Alec Benson Leary calls • CURSE-YE-HA-ME-HA! • Don't Mess With Me • Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots! • Trolling stupid pickle suited... • JEW! • Fridays After Five • JenkinsJinkies • Chris writes underage gay erotica • Chris destroys his PS3 • Mr Popo Cosplay • DivineTrial • Electric Hedgehog power! • Chris Chan's a real nigga! • Tomgirl pictures • Cakefarts • Goodbye Horses • Chris Rocks Out • Chris and his mom do a hit-and-run • No longer a virgin • Burning down the house • Un-clit • Sonic's arms are NOT blue! • Don't call anybody! • HelloLadyFans • Proposition to Sega • Frozen Semen • Please have my babies. • Stephanie Bustcakes • Die, Trump, die! • DIY Vagina • Do not hate! Hate is not so good. • #HarassCWCdirectly • Chris dances with Magi-Chan • Q&A NO MORE! • Get Out, You D*** Nazis • Dick Licker; that is I • Hey now, you're an All-Star! • TooManyGames meltdown • AY, YOU TOILET! • Chris Kisses Cryzel • Chris screams at the camera • Just keep reading... • The Last Will and Testament of Chris-Chan • Why they would never deliver any pizza from this place you FRICKIN-FRACKIN HATING TROLLS! • The time has come to start listing out the back-talkers • THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES. • I'll Be Your Mirror • I crapped my panties • HASBROOOOOOO! • The Point of No Return • The Perp Walk of Shame • I am Literally also Jesus Christ • It was all my Mom's Idea • Pinned Down at the Nuthouse • AND I BRING, PERSONALLY, THE SECOND COMING. • Team Rocket's stupid! • You shipped me with that Snorlax! • Classic Chris is dead • Rebirth of the medallion • BE GEEK BE YOU BE PROUD • Chris speaks gibberish for about 2 minutes • Chris as the White Power Ranger • Chris Finally "Confesses" • It is I, Jesus

Meta: Love Quest • Transgender • Business • Financhu Crisis • Roleplay • Dimensional Merge • Praetor

Pre-Christory: Early Childhood • Nathaniel Greene • Bearstein • High School

Early Adult Chronicles: PVCC • GAMePLACe • Megan • Stackhouse

Classic Chris: ED • Blanca • Jimmy Hill • Clyde Cash • PandaHalo • Miyamoto • Julie • PS3 Hacking • Emily • Ivy • Vanessa • CWCipedia • Liquid • Asperchu • Tito

Dark Ages: First Exile • Jackie • Calling Out • Second Exile

Renaissance: Catherine • Sonic Boom • Lady Managers • Pmurt • Doopie • Quinn

Transcendental Awakening: Idea Guy • Prequel Comic • Guard Dog • TTS • GOPony • Jacob

Rise-N-Fall: Copitz • TF2 Analysis • Arbitarch • Secret Shipfic • Watchmen • Saint • ProjectSNT • Chandler's List • Lainchu • Crystalgate • KwaiiSandbag • Warhol • Knights • Incest

Silent Years: Jail • Third Exile

Second Coming: Revelations • Redemption

Body: Drugs • Fashion • Gender • Health • Nutrition • Sex

Psyche: Coping • Manipulation • Mental healthcare • Nostalgia • Reality

Personality: Anger • Ego • Hypocrisy • Introspection • Kindness • Morality • Negligence • Personality • Remorse • Stress

Expression: Art • Censorship • English • Language • Livestreaming • Music • Oratory • Spanish • Writing

Society: Animals • Contests • Death • The Law • Politics • Pornography • Race • Reading • Religion • Sexuality • Socialization • Sports

Business: Brand loyalty • Business • Copyright • Money • Negotiation • Work

Technology: AI • Cameras • Electronics • The Internet • Science • Television • Video Games
1999 • 2000 • 2001 • 2002 • 2003 • 2004 • 2005 • 2006 • 2007 • 2008 • 2009 • 2010 • 2011 • 2012 • 2013 • 2014 • 2015 • 2016 • 2017 • 2018 • 2019 • 2020 • 2021 • 2022 • 2023 • 2024 • 2025 • 2026

Quote of the Now

“ I have been made aware that I was hacked, and I have remedied the situation. Any post made about any form of BitCoin or Crypto Currency, that was not me. It was a scam from the hacker. Do not buy anything from them or any crypto.

⚡️💙⚡️

”
Chris on X and Bluesky addressing being hacked on Instagram

Article of the Week

Chris and Flutter in Finland April 2024 Zenzei sighting (cropped).jpg

On 27 March 2023, Chris was released from jail, with the only explanation being "released by court order". Beginning on 1 May 2023, sightings of Chris were reported in various places around Chesterfield County, Virginia. From June onwards, Chris has been spotted in a number of locations around the state of Virginia, including Williamsburg, Lynchburg, Bedford and Ruckersville. In 2024 Chris began to be spotted in Finland and at conventions.

Most of the sightings are initially posted to the r/ChrisChanSonichu subreddit or to Twitter. Most sightings to date have involved Chris shopping. As of August, it has been confirmed that Chris once again has his own car. On several occasions, Chris was seen accompanied by Flutter, which has led to speculation that she might be his newest sweetheart.

These factors combined, along with Chris's diminished internet presence, have caused sightings of Chris to remain much more common than they ever were before his arrest.

(More...)

Coping Counter

Chris has many maladaptive coping mechanisms based in fantasies and magical thinking that he resorts to when reality doesn't go his way.

It has been…

107
 days since Chris made up a new escapist fantasy to cope with reality.
1,726
 days since Chris claimed to be Jesus Christ to cope with his incarceration.
2,718
 days since the Dimensional Merge was to be completed, a coping mechanism Chris believes will rescue him from his debt and other life problems.
3,151
 days since Chris joined the cult of the Idea Guys, which further fueled his escapist fantasies.


This Day in Christory

I am the captain of this boat.

Today in Christory, in 2009, the Wikisysop of CWCipedia creates the first wave of templates to format the site, including a Control Panel for Chris to update the main page. She reports her work to him on his talk page, thus beginning an often tense correspondence between them.

(more...)

Did You Know...

Improvement Projects of the Now

GO WORK ON IT!

Social media pages are backlogged and in need of updating.

The following articles are in desperate need of transcription work:

The following long-term projects to improve the wiki are also needed:

  • A backlog of chats that extends back several years, to finish adding to chat pages or mention in articles. Some chats are still archived on Kiwi Farms only and need to be saved elsewhere.

Da Update

CWCki News.png
It is currently June 2026. It has been...
6
 day(s) since Chris was last spotted in public.
75
 day(s) since Chris has last livestreamed.

Record Streak: 233 days

We highly advise against seeking out Chris, or anyone who is or has previously been associated with him, in any way.
Current Updates
Recently Uncovered Info

CWCki News

CWCki wants you by Java Jake.png
Account Creation
NOTE: You must be 18 years or older to get an account.

Account creation for the CWCki is open. To request an account, contact a CWCki Jerkop. They can be reached at -

the Official CWCki Server Discord - message:

  • Hurtful Truth Level, or
  • Larry the Larryhog

Official CWCki Server Discord • Kiwi Farms forum • CWCki Club forum • r/ChrisChanSonichu

Check out the Official CWCki Server Discord, and the sections about Chris at the Kiwi Farms, the CWCki Club forums, and the Chris Chan subreddit, full of lively and often times thoughtful discussions on Chris and Sonichu. (Use the wiki talk pages or the CWCki-related channels in the Discord for article-related discussions).

Picture of the Now

5 June 2026 TADC Last Act Movie 1.jpg

Video of the Now

Click to load content
Retrieved from "http://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Main_Page&oldid=348830"