Difference between revisions of "Chris and sex"

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[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sex''' (aka "hanky panky"), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO around age 16. He views pornographic films as "educational" and regularly purchases [[sex toys]] from AdamEve.com.
{{Incomplete|Information regaring Chris' sexual frustration, and how he copes with it}}
[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky''' and '''romps in the hay'''<ref>Chris has used this phrase since approximately [[2018]], including in [[:File:SchuComic12-9Page29.JPG|Sonichu #12-9]], on his [[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts|polyamorous marriage]] and on his [[Incest fallout chat leaks#Chris texts about incest with his mother|incest with his mother]].</ref>), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, [[Borb|a sheltered upbringing]], and the [[Autism|twisted, disjointed]] [[Chris and reality|worldview]] he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>


== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
==Knowledge of sex==
[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches? Yeah, right.]]
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he [[Things Chris has ripped off|stole]] from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>
Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about sexual terminology. While he ''may'' have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. Chris repeatedly refers to women as the "opposite gender" as opposed to "opposite sex." By definition, "gender" refers to the personality of a person, while "sex" refers to the physiology or genetics of a person. So a request from Chris for love from the opposite gender, is an open invitation to MTF trannies. In [[Sonichu 9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if females are from another planet, they are still classified as ''Homo sapiens'', just like men.


In his world, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He claims he learned everything from simply watching porn and hentai, and basic high school sex education. Who would think that such art forms could be this beneficial? This thinking has certainly worked wonders for Chris, who now believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] a whole fucking lot will ultimately make him better at sex. And, he has a subscription to ''Playboy''!
What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[high school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris, which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong – Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in pornos, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of [[navy]] to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>


Chris also suffers from the delusion that his [[duck|penis]] is [[Giant Penis Comic|huge]]. Unfamiliar with the concept of "inconsistency," he'll still claim the former. He also has a flaccidity problem, which is possibly a hormonal pathology or [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]]. Despite this obvious lack of virility, he is still a stud in his own mind.  
Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref>  He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his [[Kimmi|sex]] [[Officer Nasty|dolls]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a terrible [[CWC Cola|Mountain Dew]] parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken [[penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.


Chris has advised little children to play with the opposite gender's toys. According to him, boys should get [[My Little Pony]]s<!--Y doesn't change to IE when pluralizing a proper name-->, and girls ought to go for [[Transformers]], all to better understand the opposite gender. Go ahead, take advice from a 27-year-old virgin retard (seriously, don't). In his [[Sonichu 9|Dating ED]] comic, the teacher gave boys "Barbara" dolls, while the girls received "Robert" dolls. Disturbingly enough, these are the names of his parents. This is consistent with Freudian psychology - to a child, their parents are their model for sexual relationships. Of course, Chris's selfish ass doesn't realize that not everyone is lucky (if you could call it that) enough to have parents like his.
With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms – either medical or slang – for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "tom-tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.


Among other views of gender, Chris reveals a lot of misogynistic tendencies. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are already paired up, lesbians, or distracted with shopping. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a fat, dumpy psycho, carrying an "[[attraction sign]]" and followed by the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|shit]] mixed with [[AXE]]. This view is supported by [[Barbara]], who tells him how handsome and special he is, and how the girls won't be able to keep their hands off him. He obviously doesn't realize that all parents think their kids are the most beautiful little snowflakes in the world, and probably still sees her as an unbiased source for compliments.  
In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination.<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]).


To further reiterate just how straight he is, Chris released his infamous [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|dildo crushing video]], featuring a sign on the back of his foot — which he uses to proclaim that HE IS STRAIGHT for the 9001st time — containing a crude drawing of a female body, consisting of breasts and a hairy vagina. Because this is what all straight men do to assert their heterosexuality.
===Reproductive Biology===
{{Main|Biology#Reproductive biology}}
[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before meeting [[Mia Hamm]].]]


== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
Chris's understanding on reproductive biology had primarily come from what he had seen in porn.
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? LOL. I mean ''really''? In a ''children's'' comic? 'Cuz they know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: But I say to you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}


Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Christian bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it ("I like dykes[…]"). This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew straight over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on not losing his virginity until a third or fourth date with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?
===Books on the Subject===


The Christian Bible also frowns upon pornographers and sodomites, both sins of which he is guilty and holds no visible remorse. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK. In his defense, he did used to drink his own [[semen|cum]], so that the seed of his loins wouldn’t get lost à la Onan (but he probably doesn't know about that, so it's still just him being stupid). It is still uncertain whether he enjoys the taste of his [[semen|navy]], or just is simply too retarded to figure out that masturbation ''itself'' is the sin, not spilling your DNA. Whatever the reason, it's hilarious. It should also be noted that by doing this, he is technically eating his own [[Crystal|children]]. He also believes that premarital sex is okay as long as he's wearing a condom, because that means there will be a barrier between his [[duck]] and her [[china]]. Again, he doesn't understand that the sex itself is the sin, and not whether they're touching or not.
Chris had obtained a copy of the book [[Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability]], which he had told [[Null]] about on 5 July 2021. As a result of reading this book, Chris came to believe that he could mentor people about dating and sex. Chris had especially shown this in conversations he had with [[Fiona]], where he attempts to advise her on how to approach a potential lover when she goes off to college.<ref>[[Fiona DMs#Dating Advice]]</ref> Chris had seemed to twist or misunderstand many of the passages found in this book, taking it to be a book on how to perform sex on disabled people, rather than one ''for'' disabled people.


Despite being told many a time about these fallacies, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to a very liberal church, and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]]. When Chris has confronted Rocky about passages quoted to him by the trolls, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine. He can't hold a conservative view of homosexuality and a liberal view of fornication at the same time. Some might call this doublethink, but those who know better know it's just Chris being too retarded to understand hypocrisy.
==Moral Basis==


In fact, Chris seems to consider a women sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on internet [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|the video of his first full sexual intercourse]]. When interrogated over the desire of his partner's legitimate desire of intimacy, he merely added that he would simply [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|hide cameras, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public]]. This brazen attitude toward women only validates us with an image of what a woman is for Chris: a [[Megan Schroeder|living, sentient sex-toy]] existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.
{{Dated}}
 
===Straightness===
 
{{main|Chris and sexuality}}
 
Chris's stance on sexual orientations have always been iffy at best. Prior to his transition to a Tomgirl, he has shown a fear of losing his straightness. This obsessive demand for people to "STAY STRAIGHT" has been one of the first noted and exploited aspects of Chris since his discovery. Many trolls had jokingly declared this as an indicator of him repressing his sexuality in some fashion, only for it to end up being the case in the long run.
 
===Religion===
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}
 
Sex was at one point viewed, through Chris's eyes, by the Bible – or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris was very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' homos, but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approves of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seemed to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). In 2015 Chris made a video lamenting his "past" homophobia and clarifying that he apparently now has great liking and admiration for male homosexuality, [[Retroactive continuity|retconning]] the viscous homophobic tirade of [[Sonichu 10]] into a bizarre zombie apocalypse, implying that he realizes religion is not an excuse for discrimination. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.
 
The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be somewhat fair, he's far from the only follower of the Christian faith to do so.
 
Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picked and chose what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].
 
===Sexism===
 
Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.
 
For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.


==Chris in the act==
==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|right]]
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian [[For Julie's Eyes Only|professing his love]] for "[[BlueSpike|Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. Since Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo), Chris assumes that it's perfectly normal for a man to ride on top, lean forward, and moan while calling out his partner's name.
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous sex tape with Kimmi shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the [[JERKS|men]] in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).
 
However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].
 
Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.
 
In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent duck, [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological in nature (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive homoerotic thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex), or a combination thereof.
 
In the 2018 [[All Star]] video, Chris is seen tugging his [[duck]] along to the  song. He remains flaccid the entire time; his inability to get an erection is possibly a side effect of [[Transgender|HRT]]. If this is true, Chris will certainly not be getting any hanky-panky in the future.
 
During his time losing his virginity to a [[Mia Hamm| prostitute]] its worth noting that he first received a blowjob, then demanded cowgirl before possible missionary later; [[Obesity| but luckily for her]] he couldn't last very long and finished just after she rid him for a bit; this is important as it points to 2 big problems with Chris; first his lack of self control due to him [[Navy| finishing]] so quickly, second is that he ordered possibly the laziest sex position in the book, with Mia doing pretty much all of the physical exercise with Chris being a lazy fuck.


Chris's view of cunnilingus involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina in the same way a dog would slobber over his master. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris (if he even knows what ''that'' is).
Chris's second sexual partner in his life was none other than his own [[Barb|mom]], the exact details of the [[Affair with Mother|incestuous affair]] is a bit vague but needless to say every act described by Chris is extremely disturbing and not for the faint of heart.


Chris having sex also involves shouting his lover's name (JUUULAAAAAAY!!!) in the same way an adolescent would shout out "PENIS" during the Penis Game — again, copying what he sees in porn. Chris constantly speaks in a monotone yet high pitched and feminine voice, without any real feeling.
===Contraceptives===


Chris takes an extremely long time to orgasm in these leaked media, suggesting that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (possibly from his bent duck, fat ass, lack of endurance) or psychological (possibly performance anxiety, high expectations, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature.
{{quote|Confidentially, I wear a condom during the second half when I masturbate; I use Trojan or LIfestyles brand (Trojan mostly)


Some argue that based on such leaked media, Chris may not actually enjoy sex as a manifestation for expressing love or even for physical sensations, but in a more childlike way of getting some psychological satisfaction from doing something "naughty" and "adult." He only wants to have sex so that he won't be a [[virgin with rage]] anymore, and can be regarded as "normal."
And I used condoms when I fooled with the [[Officer Nasty|L.D.s]] as well.|Chris, [[Jackie E-mails 1]]}}


==Staying straight==
Condoms, or as Chris has called them "'''raincoats'''", are thin latex coverings worn over a man's penis for the purpose of birth control. However, Chris seemed to understand the condom as more of a symbol for promoting safe premarital sex rather than as a contraceptive. Aside from promoting safe sex and justifying premarital sex, Chris has also drawn his male Sonichu characters with condoms in order to censor their penises. Chris has stated that before his third date with [[Blanca]], he'd wear a condom for the first two times they've had sex, only to have non-protected sex by the third date, showing that he also believed that condoms serve more as some kind of gateway to pregnancy. Chris had a box of chocolate-flavored condoms that he purchased to be prepared for his first time. Chris had given a few different dates for when they expired; some time in 2010 <ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#Condoms]]</ref> and January 2013.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>
''See also [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''


Chris apparently thinks that homosexuality is contagious. He feels that spending time with men will turn him gay, so he insists on only having female friends ([[gal pal]]s). He admitted to using a ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' poster to stay straight. When he met a gay friend of [[Megan]]'s, he became hostile. In his apology letter to Megan, he had this to say:
Chris reportedly also wore a condom that was flavored like green apple while engaging in sex with Mia Hamm.<ref>[[July 2020 social media posts]]</ref>. Its not entirely clear whether the condom was entirely successful or not due to him mentioning that a "Smidge" of Navy had leaked out after their first round together, meaning he either kept them in his pocket far too long, the condom didn't fit entirely properly around his [[Duck]], he became flaccid way faster than he should have, or he's an idiot who mistook a smear of lube or vaginal discharge for semen; knowing Chris any of these [[Chris and negligence| explanations]] [[Duck| are]] [[Health| equally]] [[Slow in the minds| possible]]. For those wondering however, it's probably safe to assume [[Mia Hamm]] won't be harboring [[Crystal]] any time soon; even by some non-existent chance he managed to get her pregnant, she would have likely been on the pill anyway.


{{quote|Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."'| Chris, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*" , Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm)}}
Chris would later reveal to [[Null]] that he was using a condom while having sex with his "over 50 girlfriend", who was later discovered to be [[Barb]]. While ploughing a woman like Barb would cause anyone to instinctively wear the thickest condom available, then get themselves tested a few times over just in case (all of which Chris did); realistically there wasn't much reason to do so since the risk of STD and pregnancy was non-existent since both were [[Health|(at least where STIs were concerned)]] clean and both were completely infertile.


Chris's answers to [[Mailbag|fan mail]] suggest that he is bombarded by constant homoerotic thoughts and uses several unhealthy coping methods to suppress them:
== Sexual Frustration ==


{{quote|Although the gender change would be my "rather-to-do" over becoming a homo, but in your case, I would suggest looking at women more, fantasize yourself with their breasts and pussys [sic]; do this continuously. Hypnotize yourself; every time you have a homo thought, you will feel like you are being shocked by lightning and that it really hurts. And every time you fantasize women, breasts and pussy, you will feel calm, relaxed and good. But DO NOT hurt yourself physically for real; that would be really bad. In other words, you would be reprogramming your brain. | Chris, [[Mailbag 3]]}}
Chris has had a yearning to have a girl to have sex with since the start of his [[Love Quest]] in 2003. The first manifestation of this was when he was clawing at [[Megan]] where his pining for her went ignored or denied as any sane person would.


{{quote|First off, should such images enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever. | Chris, [[Mailbag 4]]}}
Throughout the first half of [[2021]], Chris' search for a sweetheart had resumed. Chris has expressed great sexual frustration, yearning for a physical girl to have sex with over his [[polyamorous marriage|ficticious sweethearts]]. According to [[Kyle]], at some point in [[February 2021]] Chris expressed interest in wanting to get a hooker,<ref name=feb21hooker>[[The Place chats (March 2021)#Chris wanted a hooker]]</ref> something which Chris was once not in favor of.


In an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC fan chat]], Chris went so far as wanting to make homosexuality illegal:
In [[March 2021]], following a masturbation session, Chris had a conversation with the [[Watchmen]], in which he discussed how, despite not disliking or disapproving of the act of masturbation, he felt that he was [[Gender dysphoria|born the wrong gender]].<ref>[[Masturbation discussions#16 March 2021]]</ref> In a [[May 2021]] conversation, he claimed that over the years, he would continually consume pornography and masturbate to get "the hard-on". He expressed how until recently, he felt that he had not fully explored his sexuality, nor any other means to stimulate himself, and even then claims to still overthink the process of [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|inserting a dildo or vibrator up his ass]]. <ref>[[Masturbation discussions#18 May 2021]]</ref>
{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe.  Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls".|Chris, 02 January 09, 11:59}}


When asked how he would go about this, he commented that homosexuals would be "taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts[itutes]" and that "prisons will no longer be divided between gender." Take a moment to consider how twisted that would be.  He justifies this by saying that "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." Apparently lazy, greedy, sexually lascivious, vengeful retards who wish damnation upon others are all part of God's divine plan.
==Means of Coping with Sexual Frustration==


Chris also believes his "straight" blood could be used to engineer some kind of anti-gay vaccine:
=== Masturbation and Porn Consumption ===


{{quote|Spoiler Alert: In the comic, during my time in the void, I end up at a later year when scientists have truly isolated the Homo Gene, and needed to isolate the Straight Gene to make the Vaccine. I Personally Volunter [sic] a bit of my blood, they find the Straight Gene, and I take a couple of syringes with me back into the void on my trek back to my time. Guess who will be the first to be injected and transformed back to his past self Permanently... [[Reldnahc]]. I took two syringes for in case one of them breaks or gets lost.| Chris, [[Mailbag 1]]}}
{{Main|Mass debating}}


The true irony of Chris' homophobia lies in his own logic. Chris hates [[Jerks|every male on the face of the earth]] save his [[Bob Chandler|father]] due to numerous rejections from women, under the guise of them already having boyfriends. [[Dating education|Completely confident]] that he is a perfect Adonis and that there must be some other reason women reject him, Chris took their statements to heart and came up with the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]. Now, if the the entire gay community were strapped down and tortured into being straight, Chris' already pathetically slim chances of finding a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]] rocket down another notch, increasing the manchild's chances of dying alone, and the Gene Pool taking a step forward.
Chris has had a history of masturbating, starting when he discovered he could stimulate his penis by rubbing it against a washcloth when he was 15. In 2009, he made use of a washbasin in the kitchen of his house while performing the act, and had claimed in the [[Ivy Q&A]] that he made use of a pillow that he'd fold in half, treating it as a mastrubation tool. Since then, masturbation has been an outlet for Chris's sexual frustration.


TL;DR: Chris want to force all men into being straight, even though it would be a step back for rational society, and — even by his own standards — bad for him.
In a [[February 2021]] conversion with [[The Watchmen]], Chris said "Masturbation takes Fifteen LONG, Tiring and Annoying Minutes, with my body, regardless of whatever method or tool utilized. And it has literally been that long in unenjoyable time since I first rubbed one out while my body was 15. And that was Looooong before I ever started on HRT in 2016. So, not only is masturbation out of the question, it's more misery-inducing."<ref>[[Masturbation discussions#27 February 2021]]</ref>


==Is Chris asexual?==
=== Drawing Porn ===
There is a possibility that Chris is asexual, and only emphasizes his being STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active and heterosexual. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance. He genuinely could not understand the appeal of most sexual activity, and just "goes through the motions." This would also explain why it appears as if he's uncontrollably horny all the time, as being fixated on sex with females means he's a straight adult. He also seems to have the perception that sex is a rite of passage, and that you cannot be regarded as an adult until you lose your virginity.


* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is a homo deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|external sources]].  Why else would he have to try so hard?
{{quote|As for the drawing itself, I've realized that it was done not only out of inspired fantasy, angst against E.D., and love for you, but also a major release for my crazy, mixed-up hormones. If I didn't have the foresight to put my pent-up frustrations and feelings in the form of something, I might have become an abusive maniac, so thank god for allowing me to release my bottled up frustrations in a more positive, yet not so "Politically Correct", and not physically hurting others, method.|Chris on how he might have approached Megan had he not drawn [[SheCameForCWC.jpg]]<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris continues bothering her about ED]]</ref>}}


* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]," while most men masturbate daily, sometimes more.  
Chris has on more than one ocassion drawn pornography of his own in order to release sexual tension. Chris claimed to [[Megan Schroeder]] that he had in part created the controversial drawing [[SheCameForCWC.jpg]] because he felt that doing so would inhibit him from sexually advancing on Megan, as he had feelings for her, and would have become an "abusive maniac" had he not created the drawing. The fact that Chris had decided to use what was essentially a product of his own pent-up sexual frustration as a means of attempting to get his Encyclopedia Dramatica page down only seemed to leave a much more bitter taste in Megan's mouth after announcing this.


* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of 16, while most men figure it out once they hit puberty (around 11). Which would mean that either he had no libido or sexual interest in girls... or he's too stupid to figure out how to diddle himself. 16 was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex, not through physical sensation, but through an external source, in this case HBO's softcore films.
During the period when Chris became much more sexually frustrated in 2021, he displayed this more openly towards friends, and even on his social media. He sent a picture of his Chris Chan Sonichu persona wearing a [[negligee]] while giving a seductive look to [[The WCT]], and talked to him about how arousing it is to wear one.


* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate" (which is both ironic and stupid, as he wouldn't be able to reciprocate any companionship received, and who would want to be in a relationship with someone who ''isn't'' "caring and compassionate"?).
=== Sex Toys ===


* Going with the above, in the ''[[Story of My Love Quest Days]]'', Christian states that he does not want a girlfriend for "hanky panky" but instead: "I need a Girlfriend, ''Solely'' for LOVE and TRUST!" [Emphasis added]  Then again, this could just be his attempt at looking gentlemanly, and totally ''not'' perverted and sexist.
Chris has made [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|numberable purchases]] for sex toys, porn DVDs and inflatable sex dolls.


* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, this makes him not a homo. He's not trying to molest girls and chase them around with a sign out of sexual desire, but rather out of a desire to be seen as either "straight" and/or "adult".
=== Relationships with OCs ===


However, one should consider the fact that some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, autistic and hugbox inventor [[Wikipedia:Temple Grandin|Temple Grandin]] chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). Chris could very well not be genuinely interested in sex not due to asexuality, but because he genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|big boy]]. Just wait until he finds out that's not the definition of adulthood, that growing up brings things like responsibility, along with the expectation that you'll be able to support yourself and others, and have meaningful relationships. Don't worry, he won't. He never learns.
For a time, partly due to influence from the [[Idea Guys]], Chris has temporarily given up on his search for a sweetheart in pursuit for being in relationships with fictional characters instead.


When asked about it in the [[Mailbag 26#Chris and asexuality|mailbag]], Chris clarifies that he "[gets] an ERECTION when [he sees] WOMEN STRIPPING, or are already NAKED." The letter in question didn't actually ask whether or not Chris himself is asexual, but rather his opinion on asexual people.
=== Wet Dreams ===


==Pedophilia==
Chris has also had his share of wet [[dreams]], particularly whenever he had held strong feelings for his flavor of the week. The first of these wet dreams was of [[PandaHalo]], where he dreamed about the both of them getting naked, having sex, and then Chris finally climaxing. Chris also had a dream where he was in a labyrinth filled with water, where he met a woman and had sex with her, Chris recreated the dream in a Flipnote animation. The strangest of these was of one where Chris claims that he "almost had sex" with the Sonic character Sally Acorn, which had left him sexually frustrated afterwards. Chris talks about another wet dream he had two months later, this time of the ''Sonic X'' character Chris Thorndyke aged-up and "handsome". Chris also expresses the sexual frustration he felt after waking up from this dream too.<ref>[[MKR DMs]]</ref>
[[Image:ChrisChanDamageControl.jpg|thumb|right|250px|"I AM NOT A PEDOFORK, YOU DORKS!"]]
To avoid looking like a pedophile, Chris made an announcement before [[Sonichu 8|issue 8]] that he was changing the ages of the characters so they could all legally have sex (in Virginia, at least. The age of consent for most states is 16). While retconning a character's age is hardly unusual, it's obvious in this case that he did it just so his recolors could have sexual relations — after all, why else would he make such a big announcement about retconning anyway?


Although the Sonichu series was originally intended for children, he put a bunch of porn into issue 8. This included (but was not limited to) graphic depictions of Sonichu and Rosechu having sex, and multiple instances of Rosechu stripping naked. One of the most notorious sequences came near the end of episode 17, where Rosechu face-raped [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] to a near-death state after he taunted her by throwing a pickle at her. Also, towards the end of episode 17, an [[Zapina|anthropomorphic lightning bug]] exclaims "I've just turned 14-years cute!!!" and wishes to assist [[Rosechu]] in making porn for "[[women's rights]]." Rosechu says "I don't know child, what with the dumb laws." This quote is a good indicator that [[Pedofork|Chris believes the legal age should be lower.]] This belief was later confirmed in one of Chris's responses to [[troll|fan]] mail in [[Mailbag 3#Plush boobs and pedoforks|Mailbag 3]], where he states that if given the power, he would change the age of consent in America to "Sweet 16", making it "another good reason it would be a 'Sweet' age." He is obviously unaware that age of consent is controlled by the state, and most states already have it set at 16 or 17. But in Virginia, it's 18. He also believes that kids can participate in "adult" activities, like perverse satires with adult themes and making a porno, as long as there's adult supervision.
=== Sex with Mother ===


All of his attempts at a classified ad for himself always start with "I'm looking for an 18-2X boyfriend free girl…" At his age, being seen with a woman almost a decade younger than him would be considered socially unacceptable and downright creepy, based on the "half-your-age-plus-seven" tradition. Of course, Chris doesn't understand social mores regarding age differences, so to him, if she's legal and breathing, she's fit as a sexual partner. This, of course, may lead one to ask how low he'd go. If the legal age were, for example, 14, would he instead be saying "I'm looking for an 14-27 year old boyfriend-free girl…"?
It had long been joked and speculated by trolls, christorians, and observers alike that Chris has much more intimate feelings with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] than he let on. These speculations were confirmed in July of 2021 when screenshots were leaked of Chris detailing to Isabella Loretta Janke his incestuous exploits. Null later revealed worrying conversations he had previously with Chris about a new "over 50's" girlfriend he had been using condoms with. We will leave it to you to put 2 and 2 together.


In addition, Chris notoriously had sex with [[Kimmi]], an anime blow up doll that looks underage. He maintains that he stays straight by looking at a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]], which features said character and her 8 year old daughter from the future, and when he was editing his [[ED]] article in his favor, one of his accounts had underage porn featured prominently on the user page. Most of the underage porn from this user page, along with a few other pieces of pornographic art chosen by him (which, ironically enough, includes Pedobear… ''twice'') would reappear in the "elevator gag" in Sonichu #8. One might argue that because of his notoriously bad facial recognition, he might not realize how young they actually are. But as mentioned in the [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer]], he is quite good at age recognition (a talent common among autistics). This obviously brings up many questions.
==Sexual Deviance==


Chris also harbors a longing for 17-year-old [[Megan|Megan Griffin]] from [[Family Guy]], and even had a video in the favorites of his old YouTube account depicting her with inflatable breasts.{{cite}} His ED user page had a picture of her, proclaiming he would be more than willing to be her boyfriend. When he began to be harassed about being a pedophile, he changed it to say, "I'll be your boyfriend, 18-year-old Megan Griffin." Smooth, Chris. [[fail|''Reeeeeeal'' smooth]]. This took on a whole new level when he openly proclaimed a desire to have sex with Megan, though he kept himself in check enough to ask that the writers of Family Guy at least [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|age her to 18 before he somehow has sex with her]].
Chris's skewed basis of his understanding of sex leads him to exhibiting several instances of sexual deviance.


To be fair, there is evidence to suggest that even Chris has '''some''' degree of an age limit. In one of [[Chris-chan Discusses...|Guru Larry's Interviews]] with him, Chris reacted in somewhat shock when Larry mentioned how another internet lolcow, [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Spax3 Spax3], allegedly has a crush on Cream the Rabbit, a six-year-old character from the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] series. Now this shock could mean that he looks down on someone going after someone so young or it could just be shock that someone shares a [[Love Quest|common interest]] with him... In addition to his shock he stated that [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|bestiality]] is wrong, but of course he didn't mention the age factor. Whether this means Chris doesn't mind that or whether he's just an idiot (or [[For Julie's Eyes Only|both]]) is up for debate, but keep in mind his own original character [[Rosechu]] is based off [[Amy Rose]], another character from the Sonic the Hedgehog series, and one who is only twelve years old in canon.<ref>http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Amy_Rose</ref>
===Inappropriate Interactions with Women===


It's possible Chris only cares about getting his [[china]], and not so much how old it is. Then again, he doesn't ask for girls any older than him on his [[sign]], so clearly he [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|likes 'em young]], so to speak. But this also might be a throwback from his "old-fashioned" rearing, which demands that the woman must be younger.
To say the least, Chris's social interactions hinder his ability to understand sex etiquette.


==Bestiality==
===Pedophilia and Age Disparity===
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}
{{main|Pedofork}}
{{Wise|he is a pedophile.}}


Some argue that he only said that so he could get to [[PandaHalo|Panda's]] sweet china. But still - dude would have sexual intercourse with a dog.
Pedophilia has always been a touchy subject in regards to Chris. Chris had at first attempted to deny all claims that he was a pedophile, even creating a new word, "pedofork", as a sort of comeback to those who referred to him as such, apparently being created solely to make the word rhyme in "I'm not a pedofork, you dorks". Chris has tried to retain this image by removing any references that may be interpreted as him being a pedophile in his Sonichu comics. Most infamously, Chris had characters in [[Sonichu 8]] make comments about "dumb laws" when [[Zapina Rosechu]], who is 14 years old, asks to participate in stripping for Women's Rights.


Chris is a notorious furry, as he has used his hedgehog fursona while cybering with [[Julie]]. In the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated, with people arguing that he doesn't participate in the furry community, and probably only draws furry porn because he is a creature of habit and is more used to drawing furry porn than human porn. There have been [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|some]] [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|exceptions]], but nearly all Rule 34s he has drawn depict some furry creatures having sex. He most likely doesn't know what a furry is. Another possible theory is, knowing the [[Chris and hypocrisy|level of maturity]] Chris displays every day, he's unable to mention the basic terms describing sexual action (see "china," "duck," etc.). For this [[Autism|retarded]] reason, the use of fursonas allows him to present sexual material while not really presenting anything.  
At a glance, Chris seems to adhere to the age of consent, once advertising on his [[Attraction Sign|Attraction Signs]] that he would only date someone of legal age. Chris however does not seem to understand or care about how creepy it is for him to be attracted to women that are half his age, and seems to see it as yet another barrier for his Love Quest. Chris has cat-called an artist whom he believed to be "entering young adulthood", has made sexual remarks towards [[Bella]]; despite her having no interest in Chris, and has shown arousal when [[Fiona]] exposed herself to him.


In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself with his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality. They're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. Chris, however, is a man masturbating while drawing pictures of animals having sex with each other. That ain't normal.
===Necrophillia===
 
While Chris himself has never engaged in sex with a dead body to the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris has [[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022|recently]] been referring to barb as a zombie like husk since even before they began engaging in [[Affair with Mother|their affair]] and that her soul has already moved on to her rosechu form in C-197; complaining that her lifeless body was still clinging to life and preventing him from going back home. Meaning that Chris is at least partially comfortable with the idea of having sex with his dead mother.
 
In another disturbing incident, Chris recorded [[It's not that cold]], where he proceeds to imitate {{w|Buffalo Bill (character)|Buffalo Bill}} and pretends to get inside his dead dog [[Patti Chandler|Patti]]. While not engaging in sex with her, he does take a bizarre sexual pleasure in wearing her corpse (or at least pretending to do so, since he was too lazy to actually dig her up).
 
===Bestiality===
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, Patti, run!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]
 
In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form; so technically this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other.
 
Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20161007175309/http://archive.sonichu.com:80/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy The Family Guy article on CWCipedia]</ref>
 
In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.
 
In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.
 
====Is Chris a furry?====
{{Wise|he is a furry.}}
 
{{quote|I am half-Sonichu and half-Pokemon, thus making me a "furry".|Chris, May 2018, during the aftermath of the [[Idea Guys]] saga.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20220209025754/https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/997320832040005634</ref>}}
 
Whether Chris could actually be considered a furry was debated for a long time.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. Chris certainly gets aroused by provocative drawings of anthropomorphic animals (at least when they are [[Sonic]] characters), and he has drawn unsolicited porn of his own Sonic recolors. [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona, and Chris even role-played the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both transform into anthropomorphic animals during the act of sex. On the other hand, [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] noted that Chris was prejudiced against a male furry who patronized [[The GAMe PLACe]] because he happened to be [[gay]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref> Given the high proportion of gay and bisexual men in the furry fandom, Classic Chris would almost certainly have been uncomfortable at any kind of furry gathering.
 
In [[May 2018]], under the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], Chris declared himself a furry.<ref>[[May_2018_social_media_posts#Michael_Hirtes_BTFO]]</ref> The Idea Guys also [[brainwashed]] him into believing he is in a [[polyamorous marriage]] with his anthropomorphic [[imaginary friends]] [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Cryzel]], and Chris believes he has had sexual relations with these imaginary friends.<ref>[[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts]]</ref>
 
Also of note is that in [[July 2020|mid-2020]], he binge-watched the [[Netflix]] anime ''BNA: Brand New Animal'', commenting it was "very good" but said nothing further than that.<ref>[[July_2020_social_media_posts#Animu]]</ref>
 
While Chris may loosely qualify as a furry due to his obsession with anthropomorphic [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]] and [[My Little Pony|ponies]], he has never shown an interest in the broader furry community.
 
===Oedipus Complex===
In simple terms, it is the attachment of the child to the parent of the opposite sex, accompanied by envious and aggressive feelings toward the parent of the same sex.<ref> https://www.uvm.edu/~jbailly/courses/tragedy/student%20second%20documents/Oedipus%20Complex.html#:~:text=Definition,parent%20of%20the%20same%20sex.</ref> Chris has exuded such an Oedipus Complex for years given his feelings for his mother coddling him while also showing resentment for Bob now and then, especially whenever he’d scold Chris for his antics.
See below for more details:
* [[Affair with Mother]]
* [[Chris_and_sex#Sex_with_Mother|Sex with Mother]]
* [[Chris_and_sex#Dreams_of_sex_with_Barb|Dreams of sex with Barb]]
* [[Chris_and_sex#Actual_sex_with_Barb|Actual sex with Barb]]
 
 
{{-}}


==Prostitution==
==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch[sic] on Craigslist, the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about Jack and my PSN account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time}}
[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris's leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]


While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked PlayStation Network accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.
Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spend some of his [[tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was – in a rare display of common sense – afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.


Previously, [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a Virgin with Rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].
Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a [[Craigslist]] prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.


==Chris and rape==
Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].  
{{Quote|I would appreciate it if I was FULLY UNDERSTOOD as the Noble Gentleman that I am.|Chris, a man that groped a [[Kacey|woman]] the first time he met her.}}
As Chris's sexual frustrations continue to build and build, some observers have raised the unsettling question of whether he might try to force himself on a woman. The possibility does seem real - his relationship with [[Megan Schroeder]] provides many examples of his inability to understand the importance of respecting physical boundaries and the simple fact that "no means no."


Thanks to his characteristic lack of empathy, Chris has almost no grasp on how emotional and physical intimacies develop in the real-world. [[Anime]] and porn have taught him all the wrong lessons — he assumes that sex is something that just happens, and usually sooner rather than later. He quite literally follows the saying "rape is how they say 'hello' in Japan". Being a retard, he assumes that not only is that true, but that it applies to Western culture as well. He took it as a given that Megan would put out if he won the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] contest and took her to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]. In his conversations with [[Vivian Gee]], he professed a belief that sex automatically happens after the [[third date]]. During his feud with [[CChanSonichuCWC]], he seemed to think that he’d be able to get some if he lured his rival's girlfriend [[Kacey]] to his house, and never mind that she'd probably be able to tell the difference between Chris and her ''real'' boyfriend. This is him again believing that everyone is as stupid and terrible with faces as he is.
By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].


Whether Chris understands rape as a concept is up for debate. He claims that he knows what rape is, but at the very least, his self-absorption and lack of empathy mean that he doesn't understand the gravity of rape, or its long-term consequences for the victim. It is possible that the only reason he knows anything about rape is through porn, where it isn't portrayed as bad, and the girl always ends up enjoying it in the end.  
Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>


As stated above, Chris has claimed that in his ideal world, homosexuals would be ''"taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts[itutes]"''and that ''"prisons will no longer be divided between gender."'' It is unknown if Chris would obtain permission from the women before putting them to work "reprogramming" gay men, but the fact that he specifies prison inmates seems to imply that he doesn't expect the women to cooperate willingly. The fact that he believes prisons being co-ed would reduce the incidence of homosexuality shows that he is, on some level, aware that homosexual sex and rape occurs in prison, but he doesn't specify whether integration would allow men and women to have consensual relations or just shift the rape from male on male to male on female.
Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.


When [[IRC_(21_January_2009)|confronted with the news]] that his sweetheart [[PandaHalo]] had been raped by [[Clyde Cash]] and become pregnant as a result, Chris was easily distracted from the emotional impact of what had happened, and instead focused most of his attention on what kind of domestic arrangements would result, or whether he might have to forego his trip to Nintendo of America headquarters in order to pay for an abortion. His first reaction was to tell her that he wouldn't blame her or "hold it against [her]". Any woman assumes as long as her mate isn't a misogynistic asshole that he wouldn't blame her, and being "reassured" of such isn't exactly comforting or helpful. Chris was even willing to accept the mind-boggling possibility that Panda might want to live with Clyde, and raise her child alongside him.
In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that [[Mia Hamm|the girl]] was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210206132219/https://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>


While [[IRC (23 July 2009)|pretending to be a troll]] in an IRC conversation, Chris suggested twice that the trolls should instigate him to rape [[Rocky]]. What this says about Chris, be it that he actually wants to rape Rocky and then use the trolls as a convenient scapegoat ("They made me do it!"), or that he is particularly awful at bluffing, remains a mystery.
In [[June 2016]], Chris himself made [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|another attempt]] to enter the prostitution business, now as a [[Tomgirl|trans woman]], going by the name "Stephanie Bustcakes". Predictably, Chris was unable to find any "women of any orientation" who were interested in paying him $100 to have sex either "one way or the lesbian way", and the Stephanie Bustcakes persona has not yet reappeared.


In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris reveals that he had traveled forward in time and, aside from finding the cure for homosexuality, he also meets his "future wife", whom he rapes. More specifically, she thinks that Christian is his future self (of course, seeing how rapidly Chris appears to be aging now that he's dealing with the [[stress]] of everyone on the internet hating him, that seems unlikely) and proceeds to invite him home for some sexing. Chris seems to think that there's nothing wrong with having sex with a woman if she thinks you're someone you're not. Chris falls back on the old standby, "if she didn't say no, it's not rape." Like his stance on [[Women's Rights]], where he maintains he's not a chauvinist because he'd never physically abuse a woman, Chris fails to realize that there's more to it than that.
[[File:ChrisChanSexForMoney.png|thumb|200px]]
On 24 April 2018, while under the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], who had allegedly been extorting him out of thousands of dollars, Chris announced:<ref>[[April 2018 social media posts#Will provide house tour and suck dicks for money]]</ref>


In his video [[IPods Down and Listen Up]], Chis went as far as literally "singing" about sexual assault with him as the "star" rapist. The lyrics describe the victim as a "[[Niggos|sleek, sexy panther]]" whom he fails to ambush as she flees. Then [[Sonichu's Edge|he chases her]], wear her out and, in his own words, ''"...You take it like a gal (gal), and then we  pump (pump-pump, pump) ..."'' until impregnation. Then he describes his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|bastard children]]. There's nothing more [[Hello, Juffalo|sickening than this]].
{{quotebox|Anyone living locally to me in Virginia, or visiting in Charlottesville, I’ll give y’all BJs for money too. Serious.}}


In the face all these foreboding implications, however, it helps to keep a few practical facts in mind. Chris is a [[Chris and health|physically decrepit]] coward with an incredibly low threshold of pain. If he ever attempted to assault a woman, he probably wouldn’t get very far. For the sake of all involved, anyway, let's hope so. This is assuming that he doesn't squash her first with his [[obesity|massive girth]], in which case, there would be a problem.
A fan on Twitter messaged him about it. In their conversation, Chris said:<ref name=price>[[:File:NAME YOUR PRICE!!.jpeg]]</ref>


== TL;DR ==
{{quotebox|Consider me a beginner with experience blowing [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan|my loving boyfriend]], willing to learn and adapt further. $50 for that BJ from this celeb; if he wants butt sex, that will be $100. Cash only.}}
Chris is about as straight as his [[duck]].
 
Chris told [[CWCProtectSquad]] member Tings Tingz that he was indeed serious about prostituting himself, had several offers, but had not taken on any customers. When asked if he would consider, Chris responded, "a little from Column 'A' and the latter from Column 'B'".<ref>[[Tings Tingz DMs#Prostitution post]]</ref>
 
After the [[Guard Dogs]] rescued Chris from the Idea Guys' influence, he reversed course and disavowed the prostitution messages on 7 May 2018, saying he had been coerced.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20191107173201/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/993693423084318720</ref> He went further on 25 May, saying he had been forced to write such things, and implied the Idea Guys had been behind it.<ref>[[May 2018 social media posts#Calling out the Idea Guys]]</ref>
 
According to [[Kyle]], in [[February 2021]], Chris wanted a hooker and asked Kyle to ask [[Null]] to get him one.<ref name=feb21hooker></ref>
 
==Incest==
{{See also|Affair with Mother}}
{{Split Off}}
{{Quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]].|Chris, 2016}}
 
[[File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|thumb|Chris having sex with his "son," Sonichu, in order to fulfill a prophecy to bring Crystal into the world.]]
 
Chris has long been suspected of having unnatural feelings about [[sex]] and family.
 
In [[2007]], Chris attempted to shock [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] into submission by posting his own [[Rule 34]] drawings, including one of himself [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|fingerbanging a nude brunette woman]]. ED users immediately concluded this was Crystal, Chris's imaginary twin sister in the comics. This charge infuriated Chris and therefore became the conventional wisdom. By the time Chris successfully convinced anyone that it was really [[Megan Schroeder]] in the drawing, the notion that Chris wants to bang his imaginary twin sister had already stuck.
 
[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related (despite their type and appearance differences, they all come from [[homos|Sonic and the same male Pikachu]] – apart from that fact, they were all created by Chris and acknowledge him as such – Sonichu and Rosechu calling him father), but many of them are paired off with one another (notably Sonichu/Rosechu, Bubbles/Blake, and Magi/Silvana – Simonla was technically made by someone else), banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]]. Chris's own comic children are a form of incest – as Chris impregnated himself with his navy. Chris shrugs off [[Autism|all medical/science facts]] and lists the two as perfectly healthy and Autism Free.
 
Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>
 
A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship,<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> not realizing that incest is shown in a positive light in [[Chris and religion|the Bible]]. When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible,<ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true.<ref> [https://web.archive.org/web/20051223102404/http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]</ref>
 
===Incest fics===
{{Needs Updating|[[November 2023 social media posts#Rant against incest fics]]}}
In [[February 2010]], Chris notably did not react to [[:File:Fkinglie.png|an extremely NSFW ad of himself]] on the [[CWCipedia]] depicting himself fingering Barb [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|like he did with a former friend in a certain illustration]], despite reacting to [[I am Alive|an ad claiming that he was dead]].
 
During the [[Idea Guy]] saga, the troll convinced Chris that [[Magi-Chan]] foretold of a prophecy in which [[Crystal]] would be born by Chris mating with Sonichu. He also informed Chris that if this was drawn, he wouldn't have to do it in real life. Chris complied<ref>https://archive.md/AL1PT</ref>. During the nonsensical [[Sonichu 13| issue 13]] of Sonichu incest is unsurprisingly everywhere, from [[Chris Chan Sonichu]] getting married to [[Magichan]] to Chris and Sonichu raping each other.
 
To the [[Watchmen]], Chris chatted about how he was upset over implications of incest in the ''Sonichu'' family, stating that he had written a piece to dispute the "ugh, Incest bullshit."<ref>[[Chats leaked by MKRs Bloody Chunks#Ugh, Incest]]</ref>
 
In a Facebook post from [[January 2020]], Chris reiterated his opposition to incest, writing "I, personally, seriously disapprove of incest and would never practice it at all" and "The Bottom Line is: Incest is Never 'Wincest' (Epic UGH!)".<ref>[[January 2020 social media posts#Incest is not wincest]]</ref>
 
===Dreams of sex with Barb===
On 10 August 2016, Chris posted a [[Facebook statuses|response]] to a mother-son couple who were arrested for incest. He admitted to "[having] dreams of having sex with my mother" but "Never acting on them ever." Among other things, he also implied that incest "offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s)." All this is in stark contrast to his earlier condemnation of incest, which raises the question of whether Chris was being TRUE and HONEST but changed his opinion later thanks to his growing degeneracy, or the likelier possibility it was [[Chris and hypocrisy|all for show]].
 
{{quotebox|I have a few things to say in response to this article. Firstly, the child was over 18, and surely the mother has talked it out with him beforehand. The child might have had social problems, or a situation where socializing or going out to socialize with other people, was a Greater Difficulty. Financial situation to prevent paying someone else to come over and help out in the situation. Moreover, it was the lifelong affections between parent and child. Also, the mother probably could not bear any ovum for children anymore.
Anyhow, who among Everyone in this world has not had a dream of having sex with one of their parents? Never acting on them ever, I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.
Although incest is quite controversial topic, but there are circumstances where there would be not so much harm as one may think, feel or believe. The child is over 18; the mother is unable to have any more children at the time; birth control and protection is available and can be used (in a case of father/daughter, birth control Definitely should be used anyhow). Also, consider if the child is adopted; not as much biological.
Plus, this offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s). The schools can only teach from books; not so much practice. And Nobody wants to end up being a 20 or 30-plus year old Virgin. I know; That is a Huge, Enduring Pain.
Unless the sex act was abusive, hurtful, or Would result in an unwanted birth of a physical or mental challenged child, I would not judge or persecute the parent and child. I would encourage the child to socialize more; maybe make it easier for the child to meet more people his/her age.
Do Not send the mother and son to jail!}}
 
On 13 September 2019, while [[Spirit possession|role-playing]] as Magi-Chan, Chris would describe Barb as a "guilty pleasure waifu."<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Barbara was more of a "guilty pleasure" waifu]]</ref>
 
===Actual sex with Barb===
 
While the prospect of Chris having sex with Barb was joked about for many years, most people did not believe Chris would actually go through with it. Before the [[Incest call]] was leaked, there were numerous warning signs of what was to come, mainly being the fact Barb would force Chris to spoon her in bed for many years, and telling Mia Hamm that the sexual massage he gave her was the same that he gave his mother. Their actions around each other have indicated a history of incestuous interest, however many just assumed that this was a combination of Chris's [[autism]] making him act inappropriately and Barb's infamously controlling behaviour.
 
After the incest calls were leaked it was revealed that Chris had been engaging in regular sex with Barb every 3 nights or so since 27 June 2021. His "seduction" methods included giving her full body massages while making attempts to finger her, kissing her on the lips with Barb refusing to open her mouth and Chris making "Psychic connections" with her before, during and after their romps in the hay.
 
It's also noteworthy that Chris refers to Barb as "Barbie Chan" almost exclusively now; whether this has something to do with her supposed anime fanfiction characteristics, a bizarre pet name or Chris trying to subconsciously distance himself from their familial bonds is unknown.
 
==Rape==
Chris was very apathetic about the idea of consent, and to a larger extent, the act of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to ''move in'' with her rapist ([[Chris and religion|which is technically in-line with certain archaic Christian principles]]), whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he didn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detailed a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. Chris eventually compared his ordeals with the trolls, particularly during the Classic Era to rape in his Facebook posts. (Since [[BlueSpike]]'s [[Julie Reveals Herself|most infamous incident]] involved an act that could be described as sexual abuse in front of several people, this is admittedly a fitting description.)
 
As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, the situation was more complicated. For starters, as explained earlier, he admitted that he drew [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] to prevent himself from acting on his sexual impulses against [[Megan Schroeder]], who had previously scolded him for inappropriately touching her. During a particularly [[IRC (23 July 2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls try to convince him to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]]. He also evidently saw no issue with rape by fraud (essentially having sex with someone while tricking them into believing you're somebody else, meaning they didn't consent with you) as seen with his comic book counterpart when he travels forwards in time to have sex with his future wife [[Lovely Weather]] in the guise of being his future self [[Transgender|(whom is definitely a different person in the future)]]. During the [[Kacey Calls]], he attempted unsuccessfully to lure her to his place in the guise of being [[Liquid Chris]], again seeing absolutely nothing wrong with that.
 
In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty fucked up that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.
 
In one of the [[Kacey Calls]], Chris states he believes that abortion in cases of rape should be the choice of the victim, and that they should not be pressured by others in their decision.
 
Despite joking about how uncomfortably close he was to his own mother, few actually believed that Chris had it in him to commit an act of rape. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent... Or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine E-mails#It IS Your Fault!|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his Ego|"entitled to a relationship"]]. Also not helping matters was Chris kissing multiple guests who posed with him at the [[TooManyGames]] convention regardless of consent, which ultimately got him kicked out.
 
Furthermore, it was argued that Chris didn't have a history of violence conducive to attempting sexual assault. Aside from his [[Death threats#Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], [[28 October 2011|hitting Michael Snyder with a car]], and [[26 December 2014|macing a manager in the chest]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person – the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]]. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing (in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it), it was encouraged that women should exercise caution around him.
 
Interestingly, Chris details in [[Announcement 06292016]] that he wants all men to stay an arm's length distance away from him. Along with showing the insecurities he possesses concerning men, Chris seems to think that he is [[Chris and his ego|an attractive enough]] [[Transgender|transwoman]] for [[Jacob Sockness|a man]] to consider raping him.


==See also==
==See also==
*[[Homos]]
* [[Affair with Mother]]
*[[Women's rights]]
* [[China]]
*[[Semen]]
* [[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Mass debating]]
* [[Chris and sexuality]]
* [[Chris Sex Logs]]
* [[Duck]]
* [[Homos]]
* [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases]]
* [[Mass debating]]
* [[Naive]]
* [[Pickle]]
* [[Biology#Reproductive biology|Reproductive Biology]]
* [[Semen]]
* [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
* [[Women's rights]]


==Sauce==
== References ==
<references/>
<references/>
 
{{articleofthenow}}
{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}
{{Chris and}}
 
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Latest revision as of 09:48, 27 November 2024

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Heart100.jpg Health disclosure: This article contains in-depth discussion of Chris's physical and/or mental health. This page is not to be construed as a substitute for medical advice or a professional diagnosis. All diagnoses are either taken from outside documentation or based on amateur analysis.
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We get a lot of stressful torture in our lives that makes us crash into slumber. Given that inspiration is a big variable, and we may have been lacking of it, this article will be completed as soon as possible, at our own pace... HONEST!

This article is missing the following:


• Information regaring Chris' sexual frustration, and how he copes with it

Chris has a warped view of sexual intercourse (a.k.a. hanky-panky and romps in the hay[1]), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, a sheltered upbringing, and the twisted, disjointed worldview he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".[2]

Knowledge of sex

In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from Sailor Moon.[3] In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.[4]

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary high school sex education or pornography. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris, which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his sex chat logs should immediately notice what's going wrong – Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in pornos, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that Kacey would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of navy to the face.[5]

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,[6] thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the perineum is located on the male one[7] and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.[8] He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;[9] this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his sex dolls. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in Sonichu #8 is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a terrible Mountain Dew parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken penis.[6] He thinks that his virginity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that mass debating ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's slippery grip on language, he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"[10] While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms – either medical or slang – for sex organs, instead calling penises "ducks" and "pickles", and vaginas and vulvae "china" or "tom-tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In August 2011, Chris said he is into female domination.[11] (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in Sonichu #10).

Reproductive Biology

Main article: Biology#Reproductive biology
A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before meeting Mia Hamm.

Chris's understanding on reproductive biology had primarily come from what he had seen in porn.

Books on the Subject

Chris had obtained a copy of the book Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability, which he had told Null about on 5 July 2021. As a result of reading this book, Chris came to believe that he could mentor people about dating and sex. Chris had especially shown this in conversations he had with Fiona, where he attempts to advise her on how to approach a potential lover when she goes off to college.[12] Chris had seemed to twist or misunderstand many of the passages found in this book, taking it to be a book on how to perform sex on disabled people, rather than one for disabled people.

Moral Basis

July11BarbPhoto2.jpg
This article is out of date.
We suggest you keep up with the times.

Straightness

Main article: Chris and sexuality

Chris's stance on sexual orientations have always been iffy at best. Prior to his transition to a Tomgirl, he has shown a fear of losing his straightness. This obsessive demand for people to "STAY STRAIGHT" has been one of the first noted and exploited aspects of Chris since his discovery. Many trolls had jokingly declared this as an indicator of him repressing his sexuality in some fashion, only for it to end up being the case in the long run.

Religion

69ing? Intercourse? Really? In a children's comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.
“ You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. ”
Matthew 5:27-28

Sex was at one point viewed, through Chris's eyes, by the Bible – or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris was very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he hates homos, but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approves of it masturbatorily[13], and as of 2014, seemed to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). In 2015 Chris made a video lamenting his "past" homophobia and clarifying that he apparently now has great liking and admiration for male homosexuality, retconning the viscous homophobic tirade of Sonichu 10 into a bizarre zombie apocalypse, implying that he realizes religion is not an excuse for discrimination. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the third or fourth date with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon pornographers, of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent remorse. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be somewhat fair, he's far from the only follower of the Christian faith to do so.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to a very liberal church, so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and only his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by trolls, she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.[14] In summary, Chris picked and chose what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his Love Quest.

Sexism

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.[15] After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.[16] In CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC, Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy, existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

Chris in the act

Christian professing his love for "Julie".

Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with Julie, and the infamous sex tape with Kimmi shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes female positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.[17] It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of his identification with the opposite gender.

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV, involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent duck, being overweight, lack of endurance) or psychological in nature (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive homoerotic thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex), or a combination thereof.

In the 2018 All Star video, Chris is seen tugging his duck along to the song. He remains flaccid the entire time; his inability to get an erection is possibly a side effect of HRT. If this is true, Chris will certainly not be getting any hanky-panky in the future.

During his time losing his virginity to a prostitute its worth noting that he first received a blowjob, then demanded cowgirl before possible missionary later; but luckily for her he couldn't last very long and finished just after she rid him for a bit; this is important as it points to 2 big problems with Chris; first his lack of self control due to him finishing so quickly, second is that he ordered possibly the laziest sex position in the book, with Mia doing pretty much all of the physical exercise with Chris being a lazy fuck.

Chris's second sexual partner in his life was none other than his own mom, the exact details of the incestuous affair is a bit vague but needless to say every act described by Chris is extremely disturbing and not for the faint of heart.

Contraceptives

“ Confidentially, I wear a condom during the second half when I masturbate; I use Trojan or LIfestyles brand (Trojan mostly)

And I used condoms when I fooled with the L.D.s as well.

”
Chris, Jackie E-mails 1

Condoms, or as Chris has called them "raincoats", are thin latex coverings worn over a man's penis for the purpose of birth control. However, Chris seemed to understand the condom as more of a symbol for promoting safe premarital sex rather than as a contraceptive. Aside from promoting safe sex and justifying premarital sex, Chris has also drawn his male Sonichu characters with condoms in order to censor their penises. Chris has stated that before his third date with Blanca, he'd wear a condom for the first two times they've had sex, only to have non-protected sex by the third date, showing that he also believed that condoms serve more as some kind of gateway to pregnancy. Chris had a box of chocolate-flavored condoms that he purchased to be prepared for his first time. Chris had given a few different dates for when they expired; some time in 2010 [18] and January 2013.[19]

Chris reportedly also wore a condom that was flavored like green apple while engaging in sex with Mia Hamm.[20]. Its not entirely clear whether the condom was entirely successful or not due to him mentioning that a "Smidge" of Navy had leaked out after their first round together, meaning he either kept them in his pocket far too long, the condom didn't fit entirely properly around his Duck, he became flaccid way faster than he should have, or he's an idiot who mistook a smear of lube or vaginal discharge for semen; knowing Chris any of these explanations are equally possible. For those wondering however, it's probably safe to assume Mia Hamm won't be harboring Crystal any time soon; even by some non-existent chance he managed to get her pregnant, she would have likely been on the pill anyway.

Chris would later reveal to Null that he was using a condom while having sex with his "over 50 girlfriend", who was later discovered to be Barb. While ploughing a woman like Barb would cause anyone to instinctively wear the thickest condom available, then get themselves tested a few times over just in case (all of which Chris did); realistically there wasn't much reason to do so since the risk of STD and pregnancy was non-existent since both were (at least where STIs were concerned) clean and both were completely infertile.

Sexual Frustration

Chris has had a yearning to have a girl to have sex with since the start of his Love Quest in 2003. The first manifestation of this was when he was clawing at Megan where his pining for her went ignored or denied as any sane person would.

Throughout the first half of 2021, Chris' search for a sweetheart had resumed. Chris has expressed great sexual frustration, yearning for a physical girl to have sex with over his ficticious sweethearts. According to Kyle, at some point in February 2021 Chris expressed interest in wanting to get a hooker,[21] something which Chris was once not in favor of.

In March 2021, following a masturbation session, Chris had a conversation with the Watchmen, in which he discussed how, despite not disliking or disapproving of the act of masturbation, he felt that he was born the wrong gender.[22] In a May 2021 conversation, he claimed that over the years, he would continually consume pornography and masturbate to get "the hard-on". He expressed how until recently, he felt that he had not fully explored his sexuality, nor any other means to stimulate himself, and even then claims to still overthink the process of inserting a dildo or vibrator up his ass. [23]

Means of Coping with Sexual Frustration

Masturbation and Porn Consumption

Main article: Mass debating

Chris has had a history of masturbating, starting when he discovered he could stimulate his penis by rubbing it against a washcloth when he was 15. In 2009, he made use of a washbasin in the kitchen of his house while performing the act, and had claimed in the Ivy Q&A that he made use of a pillow that he'd fold in half, treating it as a mastrubation tool. Since then, masturbation has been an outlet for Chris's sexual frustration.

In a February 2021 conversion with The Watchmen, Chris said "Masturbation takes Fifteen LONG, Tiring and Annoying Minutes, with my body, regardless of whatever method or tool utilized. And it has literally been that long in unenjoyable time since I first rubbed one out while my body was 15. And that was Looooong before I ever started on HRT in 2016. So, not only is masturbation out of the question, it's more misery-inducing."[24]

Drawing Porn

“ As for the drawing itself, I've realized that it was done not only out of inspired fantasy, angst against E.D., and love for you, but also a major release for my crazy, mixed-up hormones. If I didn't have the foresight to put my pent-up frustrations and feelings in the form of something, I might have become an abusive maniac, so thank god for allowing me to release my bottled up frustrations in a more positive, yet not so "Politically Correct", and not physically hurting others, method. ”
Chris on how he might have approached Megan had he not drawn SheCameForCWC.jpg[25]

Chris has on more than one ocassion drawn pornography of his own in order to release sexual tension. Chris claimed to Megan Schroeder that he had in part created the controversial drawing SheCameForCWC.jpg because he felt that doing so would inhibit him from sexually advancing on Megan, as he had feelings for her, and would have become an "abusive maniac" had he not created the drawing. The fact that Chris had decided to use what was essentially a product of his own pent-up sexual frustration as a means of attempting to get his Encyclopedia Dramatica page down only seemed to leave a much more bitter taste in Megan's mouth after announcing this.

During the period when Chris became much more sexually frustrated in 2021, he displayed this more openly towards friends, and even on his social media. He sent a picture of his Chris Chan Sonichu persona wearing a negligee while giving a seductive look to The WCT, and talked to him about how arousing it is to wear one.

Sex Toys

Chris has made numberable purchases for sex toys, porn DVDs and inflatable sex dolls.

Relationships with OCs

For a time, partly due to influence from the Idea Guys, Chris has temporarily given up on his search for a sweetheart in pursuit for being in relationships with fictional characters instead.

Wet Dreams

Chris has also had his share of wet dreams, particularly whenever he had held strong feelings for his flavor of the week. The first of these wet dreams was of PandaHalo, where he dreamed about the both of them getting naked, having sex, and then Chris finally climaxing. Chris also had a dream where he was in a labyrinth filled with water, where he met a woman and had sex with her, Chris recreated the dream in a Flipnote animation. The strangest of these was of one where Chris claims that he "almost had sex" with the Sonic character Sally Acorn, which had left him sexually frustrated afterwards. Chris talks about another wet dream he had two months later, this time of the Sonic X character Chris Thorndyke aged-up and "handsome". Chris also expresses the sexual frustration he felt after waking up from this dream too.[26]

Sex with Mother

It had long been joked and speculated by trolls, christorians, and observers alike that Chris has much more intimate feelings with his mother than he let on. These speculations were confirmed in July of 2021 when screenshots were leaked of Chris detailing to Isabella Loretta Janke his incestuous exploits. Null later revealed worrying conversations he had previously with Chris about a new "over 50's" girlfriend he had been using condoms with. We will leave it to you to put 2 and 2 together.

Sexual Deviance

Chris's skewed basis of his understanding of sex leads him to exhibiting several instances of sexual deviance.

Inappropriate Interactions with Women

To say the least, Chris's social interactions hinder his ability to understand sex etiquette.

Pedophilia and Age Disparity

Main article: Pedofork
Wise.JPG
The Idea Guys were here.
Chris was brainwashed into believing that he is a pedophile.

Pedophilia has always been a touchy subject in regards to Chris. Chris had at first attempted to deny all claims that he was a pedophile, even creating a new word, "pedofork", as a sort of comeback to those who referred to him as such, apparently being created solely to make the word rhyme in "I'm not a pedofork, you dorks". Chris has tried to retain this image by removing any references that may be interpreted as him being a pedophile in his Sonichu comics. Most infamously, Chris had characters in Sonichu 8 make comments about "dumb laws" when Zapina Rosechu, who is 14 years old, asks to participate in stripping for Women's Rights.

At a glance, Chris seems to adhere to the age of consent, once advertising on his Attraction Signs that he would only date someone of legal age. Chris however does not seem to understand or care about how creepy it is for him to be attracted to women that are half his age, and seems to see it as yet another barrier for his Love Quest. Chris has cat-called an artist whom he believed to be "entering young adulthood", has made sexual remarks towards Bella; despite her having no interest in Chris, and has shown arousal when Fiona exposed herself to him.

Necrophillia

While Chris himself has never engaged in sex with a dead body to the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris has recently been referring to barb as a zombie like husk since even before they began engaging in their affair and that her soul has already moved on to her rosechu form in C-197; complaining that her lifeless body was still clinging to life and preventing him from going back home. Meaning that Chris is at least partially comfortable with the idea of having sex with his dead mother.

In another disturbing incident, Chris recorded It's not that cold, where he proceeds to imitate Buffalo Bill and pretends to get inside his dead dog Patti. While not engaging in sex with her, he does take a bizarre sexual pleasure in wearing her corpse (or at least pretending to do so, since he was too lazy to actually dig her up).

Bestiality

“ I can imagine myself doing it with a collie at least. you know, like Lassie. ”
Chris to PandaHalo[27]
Run, Patti, run!
Chris, sporting a homemade fursuit.

In December 2008, Chris told PandaHalo he would be willing to have sex with a female dog for her.[27] However, in his interview with ScrewAttackEurope, Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form; so technically this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other.

Chris suggested that Brian from Family Guy be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.[28]

In The Red-Maned Deer, Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named Jacklyn Romy."[29] The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the Rental House from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".[30] What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

Is Chris a furry?

Wise.JPG
The Idea Guys were here.
Chris was brainwashed into believing that he is a furry.
“ I am half-Sonichu and half-Pokemon, thus making me a "furry". ”
Chris, May 2018, during the aftermath of the Idea Guys saga.[31]

Whether Chris could actually be considered a furry was debated for a long time.[32] There are some things that point in that direction. Chris certainly gets aroused by provocative drawings of anthropomorphic animals (at least when they are Sonic characters), and he has drawn unsolicited porn of his own Sonic recolors. Chris-Chan Sonichu is in many ways similar to a fursona, and Chris even role-played the character while cybering with Julie.[8] Finally, in the Giant Penis Comic, Chris and Ivy both transform into anthropomorphic animals during the act of sex. On the other hand, Mimms and Lucas noted that Chris was prejudiced against a male furry who patronized The GAMe PLACe because he happened to be gay.[33] Given the high proportion of gay and bisexual men in the furry fandom, Classic Chris would almost certainly have been uncomfortable at any kind of furry gathering.

In May 2018, under the influence of the Idea Guys, Chris declared himself a furry.[34] The Idea Guys also brainwashed him into believing he is in a polyamorous marriage with his anthropomorphic imaginary friends Magi-Chan and Cryzel, and Chris believes he has had sexual relations with these imaginary friends.[35]

Also of note is that in mid-2020, he binge-watched the Netflix anime BNA: Brand New Animal, commenting it was "very good" but said nothing further than that.[36]

While Chris may loosely qualify as a furry due to his obsession with anthropomorphic Electric Hedgehog Pokemon and ponies, he has never shown an interest in the broader furry community.

Oedipus Complex

In simple terms, it is the attachment of the child to the parent of the opposite sex, accompanied by envious and aggressive feelings toward the parent of the same sex.[37] Chris has exuded such an Oedipus Complex for years given his feelings for his mother coddling him while also showing resentment for Bob now and then, especially whenever he’d scold Chris for his antics. See below for more details:


Prostitution

Chris's leaked Facebook announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.

Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spend some of his tugboat on a prostitute. Mumble 4, from February 2009, answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was – in a rare display of common sense – afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by Jack Thaddeus in the summer of 2009, Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked PlayStation Network accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in March 2009, Bryan Bash had sent a trio of prostitutes to Chris's house so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. Hilarity ensued.

By the beginning of 2010, Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his conversations with Vivian Gee, around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th birthday. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when begging the Wallflower for sex on YouTube in March 2010.

Between April and July 2010, under the name of Carlos Chantor, Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "Experienced for Her Pleasure", with an average body type.[38]

Later, under the guise of his troll persona JenkinsJinkies, Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In April 2012 a Facebook status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that the girl was a prostitute on 1 May when he wrote in a Facebook note that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the backpage", a website known for featuring sex service ads.[39] On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.[40]

In June 2016, Chris himself made another attempt to enter the prostitution business, now as a trans woman, going by the name "Stephanie Bustcakes". Predictably, Chris was unable to find any "women of any orientation" who were interested in paying him $100 to have sex either "one way or the lesbian way", and the Stephanie Bustcakes persona has not yet reappeared.

ChrisChanSexForMoney.png

On 24 April 2018, while under the influence of the Idea Guys, who had allegedly been extorting him out of thousands of dollars, Chris announced:[41]

Anyone living locally to me in Virginia, or visiting in Charlottesville, I’ll give y’all BJs for money too. Serious.

A fan on Twitter messaged him about it. In their conversation, Chris said:[42]

Consider me a beginner with experience blowing my loving boyfriend, willing to learn and adapt further. $50 for that BJ from this celeb; if he wants butt sex, that will be $100. Cash only.

Chris told CWCProtectSquad member Tings Tingz that he was indeed serious about prostituting himself, had several offers, but had not taken on any customers. When asked if he would consider, Chris responded, "a little from Column 'A' and the latter from Column 'B'".[43]

After the Guard Dogs rescued Chris from the Idea Guys' influence, he reversed course and disavowed the prostitution messages on 7 May 2018, saying he had been coerced.[44] He went further on 25 May, saying he had been forced to write such things, and implied the Idea Guys had been behind it.[45]

According to Kyle, in February 2021, Chris wanted a hooker and asked Kyle to ask Null to get him one.[21]

Incest

See also: Affair with Mother
Heart15.jpg This article is too large or off-topic. It has been suggested that we smash its Heart level
down to 15% and split off the pieces into their own article. Discuss on the talk page.
“ I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother. ”
Chris, 2016
Chris having sex with his "son," Sonichu, in order to fulfill a prophecy to bring Crystal into the world.

Chris has long been suspected of having unnatural feelings about sex and family.

In 2007, Chris attempted to shock Encyclopedia Dramatica into submission by posting his own Rule 34 drawings, including one of himself fingerbanging a nude brunette woman. ED users immediately concluded this was Crystal, Chris's imaginary twin sister in the comics. This charge infuriated Chris and therefore became the conventional wisdom. By the time Chris successfully convinced anyone that it was really Megan Schroeder in the drawing, the notion that Chris wants to bang his imaginary twin sister had already stuck.

Crystal, Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a "girlfriend" card he made for Yu-Gi-Oh!, and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the Sonichu comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon are all related (despite their type and appearance differences, they all come from Sonic and the same male Pikachu – apart from that fact, they were all created by Chris and acknowledge him as such – Sonichu and Rosechu calling him father), but many of them are paired off with one another (notably Sonichu/Rosechu, Bubbles/Blake, and Magi/Silvana – Simonla was technically made by someone else), banging and some even having kids. Chris's own comic children are a form of incest – as Chris impregnated himself with his navy. Chris shrugs off all medical/science facts and lists the two as perfectly healthy and Autism Free.

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 January 2009 during the first Mumble chat, when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a sex change before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.[46]

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the Mailbag pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"[47] When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship,[48] not realizing that incest is shown in a positive light in the Bible. When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible,[49] which is not actually true.[50]

Incest fics

485-CWCsF.JPG Chris's recent failings have helped CWCki gather more information for this article.
Be a winner by adding this information in.

This new information can be found from the following sources:
• November 2023 social media posts#Rant against incest fics

In February 2010, Chris notably did not react to an extremely NSFW ad of himself on the CWCipedia depicting himself fingering Barb like he did with a former friend in a certain illustration, despite reacting to an ad claiming that he was dead.

During the Idea Guy saga, the troll convinced Chris that Magi-Chan foretold of a prophecy in which Crystal would be born by Chris mating with Sonichu. He also informed Chris that if this was drawn, he wouldn't have to do it in real life. Chris complied[51]. During the nonsensical issue 13 of Sonichu incest is unsurprisingly everywhere, from Chris Chan Sonichu getting married to Magichan to Chris and Sonichu raping each other.

To the Watchmen, Chris chatted about how he was upset over implications of incest in the Sonichu family, stating that he had written a piece to dispute the "ugh, Incest bullshit."[52]

In a Facebook post from January 2020, Chris reiterated his opposition to incest, writing "I, personally, seriously disapprove of incest and would never practice it at all" and "The Bottom Line is: Incest is Never 'Wincest' (Epic UGH!)".[53]

Dreams of sex with Barb

On 10 August 2016, Chris posted a response to a mother-son couple who were arrested for incest. He admitted to "[having] dreams of having sex with my mother" but "Never acting on them ever." Among other things, he also implied that incest "offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s)." All this is in stark contrast to his earlier condemnation of incest, which raises the question of whether Chris was being TRUE and HONEST but changed his opinion later thanks to his growing degeneracy, or the likelier possibility it was all for show.

I have a few things to say in response to this article. Firstly, the child was over 18, and surely the mother has talked it out with him beforehand. The child might have had social problems, or a situation where socializing or going out to socialize with other people, was a Greater Difficulty. Financial situation to prevent paying someone else to come over and help out in the situation. Moreover, it was the lifelong affections between parent and child. Also, the mother probably could not bear any ovum for children anymore.

Anyhow, who among Everyone in this world has not had a dream of having sex with one of their parents? Never acting on them ever, I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother. Although incest is quite controversial topic, but there are circumstances where there would be not so much harm as one may think, feel or believe. The child is over 18; the mother is unable to have any more children at the time; birth control and protection is available and can be used (in a case of father/daughter, birth control Definitely should be used anyhow). Also, consider if the child is adopted; not as much biological. Plus, this offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s). The schools can only teach from books; not so much practice. And Nobody wants to end up being a 20 or 30-plus year old Virgin. I know; That is a Huge, Enduring Pain. Unless the sex act was abusive, hurtful, or Would result in an unwanted birth of a physical or mental challenged child, I would not judge or persecute the parent and child. I would encourage the child to socialize more; maybe make it easier for the child to meet more people his/her age. Do Not send the mother and son to jail!

On 13 September 2019, while role-playing as Magi-Chan, Chris would describe Barb as a "guilty pleasure waifu."[54]

Actual sex with Barb

While the prospect of Chris having sex with Barb was joked about for many years, most people did not believe Chris would actually go through with it. Before the Incest call was leaked, there were numerous warning signs of what was to come, mainly being the fact Barb would force Chris to spoon her in bed for many years, and telling Mia Hamm that the sexual massage he gave her was the same that he gave his mother. Their actions around each other have indicated a history of incestuous interest, however many just assumed that this was a combination of Chris's autism making him act inappropriately and Barb's infamously controlling behaviour.

After the incest calls were leaked it was revealed that Chris had been engaging in regular sex with Barb every 3 nights or so since 27 June 2021. His "seduction" methods included giving her full body massages while making attempts to finger her, kissing her on the lips with Barb refusing to open her mouth and Chris making "Psychic connections" with her before, during and after their romps in the hay.

It's also noteworthy that Chris refers to Barb as "Barbie Chan" almost exclusively now; whether this has something to do with her supposed anime fanfiction characteristics, a bizarre pet name or Chris trying to subconsciously distance himself from their familial bonds is unknown.

Rape

Chris was very apathetic about the idea of consent, and to a larger extent, the act of rape. When PandaHalo told him she was raped by Clyde Cash, he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to move in with her rapist (which is technically in-line with certain archaic Christian principles), whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.[55] Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.[56] In iPods Down and Listen Up, he didn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detailed a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. Chris eventually compared his ordeals with the trolls, particularly during the Classic Era to rape in his Facebook posts. (Since BlueSpike's most infamous incident involved an act that could be described as sexual abuse in front of several people, this is admittedly a fitting description.)

As far as Chris being a potential rapist is concerned, the situation was more complicated. For starters, as explained earlier, he admitted that he drew ShecameforCWC.JPG to prevent himself from acting on his sexual impulses against Megan Schroeder, who had previously scolded him for inappropriately touching her. During a particularly disturbing chat, he (incognito) suggested that the trolls try to convince him to rape Rocky Shoemaker. He also evidently saw no issue with rape by fraud (essentially having sex with someone while tricking them into believing you're somebody else, meaning they didn't consent with you) as seen with his comic book counterpart when he travels forwards in time to have sex with his future wife Lovely Weather in the guise of being his future self (whom is definitely a different person in the future). During the Kacey Calls, he attempted unsuccessfully to lure her to his place in the guise of being Liquid Chris, again seeing absolutely nothing wrong with that.

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite naïve about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty fucked up that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.

In one of the Kacey Calls, Chris states he believes that abortion in cases of rape should be the choice of the victim, and that they should not be pressured by others in their decision.

Despite joking about how uncomfortably close he was to his own mother, few actually believed that Chris had it in him to commit an act of rape. For instance, he tried to kiss Emily and gave up when she said no,[57] showing that he does understand the importance of consent... Or at least, he used to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically molested Catherine during their second outing by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider this e-mail, where Chris outright says that he's "entitled to a relationship". Also not helping matters was Chris kissing multiple guests who posed with him at the TooManyGames convention regardless of consent, which ultimately got him kicked out.

Furthermore, it was argued that Chris didn't have a history of violence conducive to attempting sexual assault. Aside from his habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out, hitting Michael Snyder with a car, and macing a manager in the chest, Chris is physically very weak and unfit, and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person – the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the duck followed by a rousing round of America's favorite game. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing (in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it), it was encouraged that women should exercise caution around him.

Interestingly, Chris details in Announcement 06292016 that he wants all men to stay an arm's length distance away from him. Along with showing the insecurities he possesses concerning men, Chris seems to think that he is an attractive enough transwoman for a man to consider raping him.

See also

References

  1. ↑ Chris has used this phrase since approximately 2018, including in Sonichu #12-9, on his polyamorous marriage and on his incest with his mother.
  2. ↑ Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT
  3. ↑ Mailbag 18
  4. ↑ Jackie E-mails 2
  5. ↑ Kacey Phone Call
  6. ↑ 6.0 6.1 For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV
  7. ↑ September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit
  8. ↑ 8.0 8.1 CWC Cums for a Cat
  9. ↑ File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg
  10. ↑ Ivy Q&A#Threats
  11. ↑ Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya
  12. ↑ Fiona DMs#Dating Advice
  13. ↑ CWC's Second Message
  14. ↑ Mumble 8
  15. ↑ ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)
  16. ↑ Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line
  17. ↑ For examples, see the uncensored panels from Sonichu 8, Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack, CWCRockin4Way.jpg, the Giant Penis Comic and Jackie E-mails 14.
  18. ↑ Chris Sex Logs#Condoms
  19. ↑ IRC (27 December 2008)
  20. ↑ July 2020 social media posts
  21. ↑ 21.0 21.1 The Place chats (March 2021)#Chris wanted a hooker
  22. ↑ Masturbation discussions#16 March 2021
  23. ↑ Masturbation discussions#18 May 2021
  24. ↑ Masturbation discussions#27 February 2021
  25. ↑ Megan Emails, 2008#Chris continues bothering her about ED
  26. ↑ MKR DMs
  27. ↑ 27.0 27.1 IRC (27 December 2008)
  28. ↑ The Family Guy article on CWCipedia
  29. ↑ The Red-Maned Deer
  30. ↑ File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg
  31. ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20220209025754/https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/997320832040005634
  32. ↑ From the Sarah May Skype Logs: [7:17:25] Sarah May: Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] Christopher C.W.C.: a bit.
  33. ↑ Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia
  34. ↑ May_2018_social_media_posts#Michael_Hirtes_BTFO
  35. ↑ July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts
  36. ↑ July_2020_social_media_posts#Animu
  37. ↑ https://www.uvm.edu/~jbailly/courses/tragedy/student%20second%20documents/Oedipus%20Complex.html#:~:text=Definition,parent%20of%20the%20same%20sex.
  38. ↑ Jackie E-mails 6
  39. ↑ [1]
  40. ↑ Other documents#Chris's wingman
  41. ↑ April 2018 social media posts#Will provide house tour and suck dicks for money
  42. ↑ File:NAME YOUR PRICE!!.jpeg
  43. ↑ Tings Tingz DMs#Prostitution post
  44. ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20191107173201/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/993693423084318720
  45. ↑ May 2018 social media posts#Calling out the Idea Guys
  46. ↑ IRC (02 January 2009)
  47. ↑ Common Questions#5 January 2010
  48. ↑ Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell
  49. ↑ Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse
  50. ↑ [2]
  51. ↑ https://archive.md/AL1PT
  52. ↑ Chats leaked by MKRs Bloody Chunks#Ugh, Incest
  53. ↑ January 2020 social media posts#Incest is not wincest
  54. ↑ September 2019 social media posts#Barbara was more of a "guilty pleasure" waifu
  55. ↑ IRC (21 January 2009)
  56. ↑ Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo
  57. ↑ Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)

v • d • e  
Chris's Love Quest
Candidates (List)
Sarah Hammer ♥ Tiffany Robinson ♥ Natasha Turner ♥ Laura Dorazio ♥ Kellie Andes ♥ Tiffany Gowen ♥ Molly Quarles ♥ Anna McLerran ♥ Hanna "Fandana" ♥ Jelena ♥ Lindsay Kaye ♥ Megan Schroeder ♥ Lori Lopez ♥ Blanca Weiss ♥ Sarah Jackson ♥ Jessie Ruddy ♥ Chloe ♥ PandaHalo ♥ Caitlin ♥ Sarah May ♥ Julie Milvana ♥ Emily Schifflet ♥ Ivy O'Neil ♥ Vanessa Hudgens ♥ Christina Katherine Trevillian ♥ Faeryn "Hambeast" ♥ Kacey Devoria ♥ Regina Novakova ♥ The Wallflower ♥ Jacklyn Romy ♥ Mia Hamm ♥ Catherine Sorrentino ♥ DoopieDoOver ♥ Jessica Quinn ♥ Bryan Shickley ♥ Various OCs (Magi-Chan Sonichu ♥ Cryzel Rosechu ♥ Mewtwo ♥ Sylvana Rosechu ♥ Pickchu) ♥ Tings Tingz ♥ Jacob Sockness ♥ MKRNightVee ♥ Annie Ikenberry ♥ Isabella Janke ♥ Fiona ♥ Barbara Chandler ♥ Flutter
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Purpose
Obstacles
Writings
Resources
See also
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