Barbara Chandler

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“	I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend finding yourself a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.	”
Chris gives advice to a Sonichu fan.

“	She threatens to kill me in her episode of emotional rage.	”
Chris on Barb.

Chandler Family
Barbara Chandler
Birth name	Barbara Anne Weston
Nicknames	Snorlax, Barb
D.O.B.	1 October 1941 (age 83)
Gender	Female
Nationality	American
Race	White
Marriages	Ran Coleman Yeatts (1961-19??) Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. (1980-2011)
Children	Cole Smithey Christian Weston Chandler
Occupation	Office worker (retired)

Barbara Anne Weston Chandler (born 1 October 1941) is the widow of Bob Chandler and mother of Christian Weston Chandler and Cole Smithey. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year 2000 Award Chris created for her. She has not won the award since.

Family and early life

Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1955) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph was around 30. Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.

Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived Aunt Corrina. It is not clear whether Chris meant to say that after Corrina's death all the Westons started hating him and his mother, or alternatively that by the time of Corrina's death no Weston other than her had a cordial relationship with Chris and Barb. Regardless of how this statement should be interpreted, it appears that Barbara's relationship with rest of her extended family is strained.

According to Facebook status Chris wrote on 30 January 2012, Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years.

Barb grew up in Red Oak, Virginia, and graduated from Randolph-Henry High School in Charlotte Court House, Virginia in 1960. While there, she was treasurer of her school's chapter of the Future Homemakers of America, a member of the Randolph-Henry bus patrol, a typist for her school yearbook The Log, and a member of the Spanish Club. She was also a member of many other school organizations, suggesting that she was very involved in extracurricular activities while in high school. She was also known for her perfect attendance record from her sophomore through her senior years of high school.

According to her senior yearbook, her nickname in high school was Bobcat, possibly due to her figure.

Cole and his various fathers

Cole visits for Chris's 18th birthday.

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother Cole in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's Maury Povich trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates." The use of "scurrilous" in this statement makes no sense, suggesting Cole tries to use big words to impress people - a family trait, perhaps.

Jack Dale Smithey

Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.

In 1995, Cole's friend syndicated cartoonist Ted Rall made an Internet post questioning the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.

Ran Coleman Yeatts

Cole's TRUE and HONEST biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook.

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran Coleman Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child. After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.

Jerry Harmon

Jerry Harmon is Barbara's former lover and alleged sinister step-father of Cole Smithey, Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.

“	I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.	”
Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.

In his article Saturday Night Special, Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head.

Marriage with Bob

She never was much of a looker.

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing. Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards. According to Chris, Barbara did the pursuing: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.

On September 1992, Chris and Bob moved from Ruckserville to Chesterfield County. Barbara did not accompany them, but rather stayed in in their old home. Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement, and that she still visited Bob and Chris on every weekend during the time she lived separately from them. After going into retirement when Chris was in the eighth grade (in early 1996), Barbara came to live with her husband and son in Chesterfield.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.

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  Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz

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  Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz

Pampering of Chris

“	Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.	”
Chris, describing his Oedipus complex.

Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.

Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment.

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the abusive babysitter while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism. After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with Cutco to going as his date to his seinor [sic] prom.

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited the GAMe PLACe attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with Michael Snyder, but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll get arrested and go to prison. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's track record, she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a pedophile, as she thought it was possible that he may have fallen for a To Catch A Predator-esque sting operation during the Julie fiasco. She even seems to suspect that Megan Schroeder, one of the few women Chris has known who wasn't out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated Ivy for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is. She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "creative genius and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades, claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. She tried and failed to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

It appears that Chris's diet doesn't worry Barb too much. In the night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and hasn't made a meal for Chris since then.

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara has occasionally spooned with him.

Health problems

Physical

Artist's depiction.

File:Barb.PNG

Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother

Like Chris, Barbara has been obese. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, ballooned out in more recent years, to the point of resembling an American Rose West. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname Snorlax from the trolls. Barb's size may have led to her sleeping a lot and usually skipping church.

In October 2009, Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning. Barbara was diagnosed with colitis, a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, fans of Sonichu have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities. Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.

According to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012. Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.

In a tweet to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks." It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it didn't sound pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the low finances and shit!!!" Consensus was that the so called "holey buttocks" were in fact lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites (rather than flies) that have burrowed into her bountiful booty. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive, Chris whines about having to take care of her.

On 23 August 2013 Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive. He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was and what kind of treatment was Barb given.

More recently, Chris has been talking less and less about his surviving parent, so information about how she's doing is scarce. However, what little information we do have suggests that she isn't doing so well. In August 2014, Chris begged for money on Facebook, supposedly to pay dental fees, as he claimed his mother had cavities in her teeth which needed treatment. On the occasion that she attended Chris's court hearings throughout 2015, Christorians in attendance invariably noted that although she has lost weight, she appears to have low muscle mass (probably due to her sedentary lifestyle). In particular, at his last hearing, it was noted that Barb appeared to be growing increasingly frail and possibly senile, as she did not appear to be very responsive, and appeared much more submissive to Chris than she has otherwise been known to be. Chris also reportedly got short with her due to her poor hearing.

In November 2015, Family Needs to appreciate Family was uploaded to YouTube. The video is a plea for Cole Smithey, David Alan Chandler, and Carol Suzanne Chandler to visit Barb before "Her time runs out", even though the latter two aren't Barb's children.

In June 2016, Barb appeared in two videos as Chris asks for donations to buy asthma medication for her; here, Barb appears with wrinkled skin and scant hair, and apparently cannot speak, further indicating her alarming physical decline.

In August 2016, Anna McLerran posted a photo on Facebook of herself and Barb together. In it, Barb appears to have aged significantly since her last appearance in the "Donations Further Requested, Please" video.

Mental

During the Ivy Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might commit suicide, as a response to the stress she was going through. To this day, it remains unclear whether she was actually suicidal, or idly threatening suicide for her own gain.

Barb is understood by most to be a highly unstable woman, and worryingly, many of her behaviors can also be observed in Chris. Many believe her to be a narcissist, on account of her seemingly baseless belief that she is descended from Tudor high nobility, and the pathological manner in which she lies and assigns blame to others, even in instances when any sane person could see that only they were in the wrong. All of these traits are shared by Chris, with Barb's apparent encouragement. Additionally, many aspects of her relationship with Chris are consistent with narcissistic motherhood, which is a fascinating but complex topic too lengthy to be discussed in detail here. Although Chris seems to be her "golden child", she does not shy from mistreating him if he displeases her. This can be seen in an email to Jackie from May 2011; Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his Tomgirl inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and threatening to kill him.

Aside from her narcissism, Barb is also noted by Christorians for her hoarding. Chris labels Barb a "pack rat", and on more than one occasion has indicated his displeasure at her hoarding and the state it has left their house in, although neither he nor Bob are known to have ever seriously challenged it. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, particularly from Goodwill, which, by 2009, had rendered the living room uninhabitable. When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, ostensibly due to the conditions in the Chandler household. The situation did not improve after Bob's passing, either. A second house tour video made by Chris in 2013 revealed that Barb's hoarding had gotten severe enough to render entire rooms literally inaccessible, with some rooms literally full of stuff to within inches of the ceiling, and others reduced to crevices carved into walls of junk.

Barb's hoarding was predicted by many to lead to disaster, and finally did on January 10 2014, when in the wee hours of the morning, Chris started a house fire while trying to brew coffee in the bathroom, because the kitchen had been among the rooms blocked off by Barb's junk. Naturally, Barb's hoard provided ample kindling for the fire, and the house was severely damaged before the fire could be contained. In fact, given the state of the house in the second tour video, it's surprising that Chris and Barb were able to escape. Equally unsurprising, however, is the fact that one of the Chandlers' remaining cats died in the blaze, and one of the fire-fighters sent to the scene also suffered unspecified injuries.

While the Chandlers relocated, pending repairs to their home, Barb's stuff went into storage. When repairs were completed a year later, Barb had all of it moved back to 14 Branchland Court, and is not known to have disposed of any of it, even though, by all accounts, most of what she and Chris were able to salvage is either fire, smoke or water damaged, rendering it completely useless.

On July 13 2016, Barb unexpectedly starred in one of Chris's e-begging videos. In the minute-long video, she speaks slowly and almost inaudibly, hardly moving or blinking for the entirety of the video. While some have voiced concerns that this may be an early sign of dementia, it is just as likely that Barb, being Barb, was putting on an act for money.

Legal problems

On 28 October 2011, Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with The GAMe PLACe, and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

Five years later, Barb was sued by a Discover bank in Norfolk for not paying debts. This came to light on March 14 2016 when sharp eyed Kiwis noticed that she had a hearing on March 16. As she must have been outright ignoring her debt for some time for the bank to take her to court over it, it was widely assumed that she would ignore the summons too. Instead, once the court records were updated, many were surprised to see that not only had Barb attended, but she had represented herself, too. Equally unsurprisingly, this bold move failed to pay off, and Barb was still sentenced to pay $4,706.93.

Five months later, Barb was sued again, this time by Capital One Bank, for the same reason. The hearing in September resulted in a Default Judgement against Barb, meaning that she didn't bother attending. She owes Capital One $15,906.99.

Appearances

Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.

Barb in a drawing released in November 2015.

In Sonichu

In Sonichu #0, Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In Sonichu #9, the male Dating Education students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

According to the CWCipedia, Sandy Rosechu and Sonichu and Rosechu's children go to Anneweston Elementary School. It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go that school after their evolution.

Audio

• Private Skype chat with Sarah May.
• 4 February 2009, Mumble 2: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's room.
• 17 February 2009, BlueSpike PSN Chat 2: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
• March 2009: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde calls after the date with Emily.
• Kacey Call 15: Chris keeps Kacey on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of humility, her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
• November 2009, Kacey and Liquid Call: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
• 10 August 2010, Matthew Noble call: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
• Prank calls: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

Videos

Barbara has appeared in six videos to date as of February 2015: off-camera in the Christian Weston Chandler Interview, and on-camera (for the first time) in You're Always Pretty. Two decade-old videos were leaked in December 2014 showing the Chandlers celebrating Christmas. Another video of her was recorded by a troll as she and Chris left court after his hearing in February 2015. Two more videos were released June 2016 showing Chris begging for donations to buy asthma pills for Barbara. Barbara is shown practically dead in both of these videos so god only knows what will happen in the near future.

In a video released on 13 July 2016, Barbara joins her son in shamelessly e-begging. Her voice tired and hoarse, mouth agape, she stares directly into the camera like a deer caught in the headlights.

Gallery

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  Barb's 8th grade (or "Pre-Freshman") photo.

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  Barb's freshman photo from high school.

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  Barb's senior photo from high school.

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  Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.

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  "Talk, you little idiot!"

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  This is when The Simpsons went downhill.

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  Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.

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  From her 55th birthday.

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  Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.

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  Barb with Aunt Corrina, Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.

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  The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.

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  Poor Barb, Chris put Sonichu on HER birthday cake.

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  It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.

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  Barb, talking to Tiffany, one of Chris's gal pals, at the prom.

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  Barb, evolved into Snorlax.

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  Barb is always pretty.

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  Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.

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  With Snoopy in 2013.

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  As Chris sees her in Lego form

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  Barb Amiibo, complete with cleavage. Buy yours today on Etsy.

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  With Anna, presumably in August 2016.

External links

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