Difference between revisions of "Mumble 8"

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* [[Donald Duck impersonation]]
* Chris does his infamous [[Donald Duck impersonation]] for [[Julie]]
* [[Megan]]'s favorite band is [[Wikipedia:Guns N' Roses|Guns N' Roses]].
* [[Megan]]'s favorite band is [[Wikipedia:Guns N' Roses|Guns N' Roses]].
* Chris will not call Rick Astley a [[homo]].
* Chris will not call Rick Astley a [[homo]].
* There is a feud between [[Molvanîa]] and Russia.
* There is a feud between [[Molvanîa]] and Russia.
* [[Wikipedia:Son Gohan|Gohan]]'s girlfriend is Chris's favorite ''[[Dragonball]]'' character.
* Chris's favorite ''[[Dragon Ball]]'' character is {{w|List of Dragon Ball characters#Videl|Videl}}.
* Chris is asked to list [[Chris and religion|the ten commandments and the seven deadly sins]]. He reaches for his Bible because he can't remember. (Although, as a Protestant, the seven deadly sins would be irrelevant.)
* Chris is asked to list [[Chris and religion|the ten commandments and the seven deadly sins]]. He reaches for his Bible because he can't remember. (Although, as a Protestant, the seven deadly sins would be irrelevant.)
* Mr. Roboto gets kicked.
* Mr. Roboto gets kicked.
* Chris says his pastoral counselor ([[Rocky]]) told him premarital [[sex]] is okay.
* Chris says his [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] told him premarital [[sex]] is okay.


[15:40]
[15:40]
: Chris on premarital sex with [[Julie]]: After you get here, we could talk to my pastor about it further.
*Chris on premarital sex with Julie: After you get here, we could talk to my pastor about it further.
: Julie: I've said it many times. I discuss it in my letter.
*Julie: I've said it many times. I discuss it in my letter.
: Chris: I'm just sayin'. After you get here, we could talk to my pastor about it.
*Chris: I'm just sayin'. After you get here, we could talk to my pastor about it.


[17:00]
[17:00]
* A troll suggests Chris looks for loopholes in everything to justify himself. Chris cuts him off.
* A [[troll]] suggests Chris looks for loopholes in everything to justify himself. Chris cuts him off.
* Epic rage from the troll.
* Epic rage from the troll.
* Chris asks for forgiveness. Says everyone has a different interpretation of the Bible.
* Chris asks for forgiveness and says everyone has a different interpretation of the Bible.
* Troll calls him out on his [[Homos|homophobia]]. Chris says he's taken it back, so it's ok.
* Troll calls him out on his [[Homos|homophobia]]. Chris says he's taken it back, so it's ok.


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* Chris sexual urges weren't as strong back when he had [[gal-pals|female friends]].
* Chris sexual urges weren't as strong back when he had [[gal-pals|female friends]].


[to be summarized]
[42:20]
* Chris confirms he drank (recycled) his [[semen]].


[45:30]
[45:30]
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* Since Chris asked Sarah first, she can have the first threesome with Julie.
* Since Chris asked Sarah first, she can have the first threesome with Julie.
* Two women is Chris's limit.
* Two women is Chris's limit.
*Chris can't decide between Sarah and Julie
* Chris can't decide between Sarah and Julie


[51:50]
[51:50]
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* Derrick explains [[Wikipedia:Stream of consciousness (narrative mode)|stream of consciousness]] writing. Chris talks about storing shit in his memory, which is totally the opposite style.
* Derrick explains [[Wikipedia:Stream of consciousness (narrative mode)|stream of consciousness]] writing. Chris talks about storing shit in his memory, which is totally the opposite style.


The following are not in order:
[1:03:22]
*The trolls ask Chris what [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy's]] voice is like.
*A voice actor joins the chat and does various impressions while Chris attempts to do some of his own.
 
[1:09:27]
*The trolls ask Chris what his favorite comic book series is. Unsurprisingly, it's [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].
*Chris doesn't go to [[McDonald's]] often, "maybe two or three times a week."
*Chris says he plays with all of the [[toys]] in [[Chris's room|his room]].
 
[1:17:43]
*[[Honor roll|Chris doesn't know what a euphemism is]].
*Chris shoos away one of his [[cats]].
*Chris says he measured his [[Duck|dick]] with a ruler.


* Chris confirms he drank (recycled) his [[semen]].
[1:28:30]
* Chris doesn't go to [[McDonald's]] often, "maybe two or three times a week."
*Chris talks about [[Dating Education]].
* Chris says he measured his [[Duck|dick]] with a ruler.
*The trolls try to give Chris actual dating advice, but he ignores it.
* [[Sarah May]] is so upset Chris called her Julie she attempts suicide.
 
[1:38:48]
* Sarah May is so upset Chris called her Julie she attempts suicide.
* Chris [[Chris and death|shrugs it off]], saying he still has Julie.
* Chris [[Chris and death|shrugs it off]], saying he still has Julie.


==Transcript==
==Transcript==
===Introductions (00:00-00:39)===
<br>'''Guy:''' What's up?
<br>'''Guy:''' What's up?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Ahh, doin' okay, doin' okay. Got some [[stress]], but I'm okay.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Ahh, doin' okay, doin' okay. Got some [[stress]], but I'm okay.
Line 91: Line 107:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm.
<br>'''Guy:''' Chris, what's up?
<br>'''Guy:''' Chris, what's up?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Umm...nothing. Umm, lemme think...mmmmm...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Umm...a lot of things. Umm, lemme think...mmmmm...
<br>'''Guy:''' I can't believe I'm talking to [[Liquid Chris|the real Christian Weston Chandler]]. It's mad.
<br>'''Guy:''' I can't believe I'm talking to [[Liquid Chris|the real Christian Weston Chandler]]. It's mad.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, take a deep breath and accept it. 'Cause it's real.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, take a deep breath and accept it. 'Cause it's real.
Line 120: Line 136:
<br>'''Mr. Roboto:''' Styx is good band.
<br>'''Mr. Roboto:''' Styx is good band.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I never heard Styx, but I will not disagree with you.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I never heard Styx, but I will not disagree with you.
<br>'''Guy:''' Um, have you ever sung "[[Wikipedia:Come Sail Away|Come Sail Away]]"?
<br>'''Guy:''' Um, have you ever heard the song "[[Wikipedia:Come Sail Away|Come Sail Away]]"?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Um, I am afraid I have not heard that. Sorry.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Um, I am afraid I have not heard that. Sorry.
<br>'''Guy:''' Or "[[Wikipedia:Renegade (Styx song)|Renegade]]".
<br>'''Guy:''' Or "[[Wikipedia:Renegade (Styx song)|Renegade]]".
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<br>'''Guy:''' -I also like [[Wikipedia:Boy George|Boy George]]. Is that a problem?
<br>'''Guy:''' -I also like [[Wikipedia:Boy George|Boy George]]. Is that a problem?
<br>'''Mr. Roboto:''' Boy George is homo.
<br>'''Mr. Roboto:''' Boy George is homo.
<br>''[Mainly unintelligible as people shout over each other]''
<br>''Guy: Mr Roboto, how about you just leave!''
<br>'''Guy:''' Hey Chris man-
<br>'''Guy:''' Hey Chris man-
<br>'''Mr. Roboto:''' Yeah. I am sorry. I apologize.
<br>'''Mr. Roboto:''' Yeah. I am sorry. I apologize.
Line 171: Line 187:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> That Russia does not like communists. They-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> That Russia does not like communists. They-
<br>'''Mr. Roboto:''' ''[Interrupts]'' Oh we like communists. But stupid fascists killed communism. I would like to see communism returned. It was a fun time.
<br>'''Mr. Roboto:''' ''[Interrupts]'' Oh we like communists. But stupid fascists killed communism. I would like to see communism returned. It was a fun time.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font>I never really liked Russia.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> I never really liked Russia.
<br>'''Mr. Roboto:''' Well Russia doesn't really like you. I heard you were from- ''[unclear]'' -state [[Molvanîa]]
<br>'''Mr. Roboto:''' Well Russia doesn't really like you. I heard you were from- ''[unclear]'' -state [[Molvanîa]]
<br>'''Guy:''' Chris what's your- ''[Yelling]'' Shh! Hey Chris what's your favorite ''[[Dragonball Z]]'' character?
<br>'''Guy:''' Chris what's your- ''[Yelling]'' Shh! Hey Chris what's your favorite ''[[Dragonball Z]]'' character?
Line 188: Line 204:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Um... Uh yeah. I am not fo- I am not fond of those people.  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Um... Uh yeah. I am not fo- I am not fond of those people.  
<br>'''Guy:''' You know they don't actually worship the Devil?
<br>'''Guy:''' You know they don't actually worship the Devil?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm. I see. But anyway i am not fon- I am not really fond of them.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm. I see. But anyway I am not fon- I am not really fond of them.
<br>'''Guy:''' I know one in college. A Satanist. He pretty much- They don't worship the Devil but instead they- ''[muffled by other people]''
<br>'''Guy:''' I know one in college. A Satanist. He pretty much- They don't worship the Devil but instead they- ''[muffled by other people]''
<br>'''Other Guy:''' Chris, you know the Ten Commandments? [pause] Do you know the Ten Commandments Chris?
<br>'''Other Guy:''' Chris, you know the Ten Commandments? [pause] Do you know the Ten Commandments Chris?
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<br>'''Guy:''' Ok he's kicked now...
<br>'''Guy:''' Ok he's kicked now...
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> ''[in a very boyish voice]'' Son of a bitch...
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> ''[in a very boyish voice]'' Son of a bitch...
<br>'''Guy:''' Seriously all the ones i know are- ''[muffled]''
<br>'''Guy:''' Seriously all the ones I know are- ''[muffled]''
<br>'''Guy:''' I think it's true also though, I think he's a closet homo. Seriously.
<br>'''Guy:''' I think it's true also though, I think he's a closet homo. Seriously.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well he's gone now, we don't have to worry about him anymore.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well he's gone now, we don't have to worry about him anymore.
Line 226: Line 242:
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Yes well Chris, well I ''[people talk over "her"]'' Let me finish!  
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Yes well Chris, well I ''[people talk over "her"]'' Let me finish!  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Let her finish please.  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Let her finish please.  
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Well in the Methodism I follow - there's no sex before marriage.  
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Well in the Methodist I follow, there's no sex before marriage.
<br>''[unintelligible]''
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font>  Wait, in the Methodist you follow?
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Yeah, like in the way that you follow it, you're allowed to have sex before marriage, and [in the way] I follow it, you're not allowed to have sex before marriage.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well it's um... Yeah...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well it's um... Yeah...
<br>'''Guy:''' Um. Why do you think has a better interpretation of the Bible? Your counselor, or God?
<br>'''Guy:''' Um, who do you think has a better interpretation of the Bible? Your counselor, or God?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm. Well... The Bible can can be [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|misinterpreted in a number of ways]]. Umm-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm. Well... The Bible can can be [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|misinterpreted in a number of ways]]. Umm-
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Chris, if I may? As a girl I don't (''?'') sex before marriage.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Chris, if I may? As of now, I don't have sex before marriage.
<br>'''Guy:''' I thought it was pretty straightforward. I mean... Jesus said himself that if you look at a woman whilst you're basically, you're maintaining a pretty- ''[talked over by Julie]''
<br>'''Guy:''' I thought it was pretty straightforward. I mean... Jesus said himself that if you look at a woman with lust you're basically, you're maintaining a pretty- ''[talked over by Julie]''
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Mmm. Julie we can talk about this further after you get here. We can talk to my- my uh- my pastor at my church about it further.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Mmm. Julie we can talk about this further after you get here. We can talk to my- my uh- my pastor at my church about it further.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font>: I've studied many times, I've discussed it in my letter.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> I've said it many times, I've discussed it in my letter.
Chris: Yeah. But I'm just saying, that we can talk to my pastor about it.
Chris: Yeah. But I'm just saying, that we can talk to my pastor about it. [muffled] Ah!
[muffled]
<br>'''Guy:''': You know we're all just trying to help you out man.  
<br>'''Guy:''': We're all just trying to help you out man.  
Other Guy: We don't want you to go to hell. We don't want you to go to hell for having premarital sex [Chris interrupts]
Other Guy: We don't want you to go to hell. We don't want you to go to hell for having premarital sex [Chris interrupts]
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> God is forgiving.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> God is forgiving.
Other Guy: Not on this planet.
<br>'''Other Guy:''' Not on this planet.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh Jesus is forgiving.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh Jesus is forgiving.
<br>'''Guy:''' Well What if...[interrupted]
<br>'''Guy:''' Well What if...[interrupted]
<br>'''Other Guy:''' well it's ok to have sex out of marriage, but it's not ok if you're gay, is that what you're saying?
<br>'''Other Guy:''' So, it's ok to have sex out of marriage, but it's not ok to be gay, is that what you're saying?
<br>'''Guy:''' [unintelligible]
<br>'''Guy:''' He's definitely forgiving, but you know, if you... [distortion]
<br>'''Other Guy:''' Chris, you seem to find try to justify yourself every time by adding loopholes to your Bible just so you can have premarital sex and everything and I don't fucking get it. You're trying to justify yourself for having a ''[[I am STRAIGHT|Playboy]]'', and you're trying to justif….and your always justif...[interrupted by Chris]  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ...there are articles other than that.
<br>'''Other Guy:''' Chris, you seem to always find try to justify yourself every time by adding loopholes to your Bible just so you can have premarital sex and everything and I don't fucking get it. You're trying to justify yourself for having a ''[[I am STRAIGHT|Playboy]]'', and you're trying to justif…and you're always justif...[interrupted by Chris]  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I AM NOT!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I AM NOT!
<br>'''Other Guy:''' No! No! I'm not having a No! Fuck You! You're a fucking [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]] douchebag!
<br>'''Other Guy:''' No! No! I'm not having a No! Fuck You! You're a fucking [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]] douchebag!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well sometimes I don't know everything, so excuse me…for that.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well sometimes I don't know everything, so excuse me…for that.
<br>'''Other Guy:''' [unintelligible]
<br>'''Other Guy:''' [unintelligible]
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I will listen, I will. Listen, listen, I appreciate your help, but you know when it comes to religion I think, uh... our own individual interpretations each of us individually is uh as is important to us so my interpretation... and, uh, y'alls interpretation which are respectable uh-  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I will, listen, I will, listen, listen, I appreciate your help, but you know when it comes to religion I think, uh... our own individual interpretations of um, each of us individually is uh as is important to us so my interpretation... and, uh, y'alls interpretation which are respectable uh-  
<br>'''Guy:''' [''interjects''] Which you're right!
<br>'''Guy:''' [''interjects''] Which are right!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ... are important
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ...are important
<br>'''Other Guy:''' Okay, so Chris, uh, just wanted to know, why so much hate against the gays, I mean if religion can be interpreted any way... [''interrupted''] ... seriously.
<br>'''Other Guy:''' Okay, so Chris, uh, I just wanted to know, why so much hate against the gays, I mean if religion can be interpreted any way... [''interrupted''] ...seriously.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> uh hmm. I... Okay well… Okay I take all the times I said hated the homos, but obviously when I said that I was uh under a whole bunch of stress, and I felt most uncomfortable around them and [[JERKS|men in general]], so I guess I just picked the wrong word, so I apologize.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> uh hmm. I... Okay well… Okay I'll take back all the times I said I hated the homos, but obviously when I said that I was uh under a whole bunch of stress, and I just felt most uncomfortable around them and [[JERKS|men in general]], so I guess I just picked the wrong word, so I apologize.
<br>'''Guy:''' Um, this is just like the time where'd ya-ya-you trying to say that a whole lot of you said were made at times of stress but um, sooner or later you know that isn't it you know going to be like... you can't retract every every statement because you made it out of stress, you know.
<br>'''Guy:''' Um, this is just like the time where'd ya-ya-you trying to say that a whole lot of you said were made at times of stress but um, sooner or later you know that isn't it you know going to be like... you can't retract every every statement because you made it out of stress, you know.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I know I can't retract every one, but those I am able to retract, I can and will.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I know I can't retract every one, but those I am able to retract, I can and will.
[''unintelligible'']
[''unintelligible'']
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I had a misunderstanding at that time
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I had a misunderstanding at that time.
<br>'''Guy:''' [''unintelligible''] had a lot of stress at that time.
<br>'''Guy:''' You sure have a lot of stress. I'm just saying.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I had misunderstandings at the time that I said that. Well, I mean, I was in misunderstanding. I misunderstood, I misunderstood, and I said the wrong word to use in my feelings against, uh, them in general, so I retract it back, I retract the word "hate," and I would replace it with, like, you know, I will, I am willing to cope with them in person, and respect, and I will respect them and I will be friends, but you know, nothing beyond that.
<br>'''Guy:''' I think you probably insulted a lot of them, the homosexual or bisexual people with that statement. Maybe you could make, like, a video, um, saying that you don't hate them.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Mm. Alright, I'll do that in a few, I'll do that in the near future, make a video retracting the hate.
<br>'''Guy:'''Yeah, just say...yeah.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, alright, I'll do that in the near future.
<br>'''Guy:'''[unclear] Well, by detracting the hate you get some of the needless violence out of the world, so that's good.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Right. OK. I'll do that in the near, I'll do that soon, then.
<br>'''Guy:'''It's good of you to do that, Chris.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> OK.
<br>'''Guy:''' Chris, you said growing up you had mostly women friends?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes.
<br>'''Guy:''' Most normal heterosexual men are able to form friendships with other heterosexual men. Uh, how do you explain [unclear]
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Mmm...uhhhhmmm...I just didn't meet so many, I just did not have the opportunity to meet so many...men. So there. I just did not have the...
<br>'''Guy:''' You know,there's tons of boys who like Transformers. And Sonic.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah...I just, the opportunity never showed up so much. I mean as often as with the women. When I had the gal-pals in high school, for example, I didn't have that many opportunity to be friends or associate with that many...men, but you know I did have a few...guy buddies in high school, but that's, that's about it, basically, for that [unclear].
<br>'''Guy:''' [unclear] characteristic of the homosexuals.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Wait, what? [static] Somebody just, uh, said something that I might, that I thought that, uh,...[stress sigh] OK, well look, I had guy, I had friends, I did have, uh, friends and acquaintances that were guys in my lifetime. I just had more female friends and acquaintances.
<br>'''Guy:''' I think here that a lot of homosexual people and women are like in friendly relationships with homosexuals because they don't feel that threat because the homosexuals are gonna [?]
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, wait, what? Say that again?
<br>'''Guy:''' Like, I heard that when, I heard that like women sometimes look at homosexuals as friends because, you know, they're not going to try to hit on the women.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, in my case I would figure that, you know, I was younger than they are, and of course I did not seem as threatening, and I was definitely most friendly, so they were friends with me because they realized that I was friendly. Than other guys. Yeah. Because I didn't, because I, because I did not realize the, uh, sex, I did not have the sexual, as many of the sexual urges back then as I did when I turned 21, at the beginning of that time and beyond. 
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> [Sigh] So, Chris.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.
<br><font color="#CC))FF">'''Julie:'''</font>  18 CRH What was wrong with a guy dating an older woman?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I was old, I was, I had, I was, mm, you might say I'm old-fashioned in that, old-fashioned in that sense, but, uh, I just didn't, I just didn't, I just didn't want to feel like, uh, I was like the lower half of the factor there. I didn't feel like I was being overtaken or something like that. I don't know, maybe I'm choosing the wrong words right now, the wrong choice of words, but you know they're the ones that came to my head right now.
<br>'''Guy:''' [question unclear]...pretty big rack?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sorry, what?
<br>'''Guy:''' Uh, uh, I'm not sure [] right that.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, I think you said, uh, you, you, you were kind of a person that like big, big, big racks? 
<br>'''Guy:''' I'm the kind of a person who, I'm the kind of a person, you know, I wouldn't mind if she was a little bit older than me, because, you know, she might be a bit taller [?] looking for someone with a pretty nice-sized rack.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I look more for, more for, uh, the look on the, uh, insides, but consider...
<br>'''Guy:''' I mean, of course that's a given, I mean, I'm not going to, I'm not going to get with somebody just based on that, but you know, but it's always a nice thing...
<br>'''Guy #2:''' Um, Chris, I have a question. You say you, like, get based on something on the inside, then what's with the preference? You, I mean, you see stuff in your comics about how it has to be a certain, you know,... 
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, I'm sorry, could you start over and repeat that please?
<br>'''Guy #2:''' You, your comics, you say they have to be a, like, certain type of person. They have to be, they can't be black or anything. They have to, you know, they can't be fat, they can't, you know, they can't be, um, yeah.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, OK, I admit, I, I admit, I admit, I was a little, I was uh, more, shoot, what's the word I'm looking for? [Guy: "Picky?"] Uh, yeah, yeah, I was, OK there you go, I was more picky back then, but then once I realized as I got older, and uh, to become less picky about, uh, about some of those details.
<br>'''Guy:''' You had high standards back then, basically.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, that was, that was the word I was looking for, high standards, yeah.
<br>'''Guy:''' Well, that's nice that you're a little bit more open now, hopefully you'll find the person that's your ideal.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well...I'm sorry, go ahead.
<br>'''Guy "2:''' Would you date a black girl now?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Um...
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Are you insisting he should see another woman?
<br>'''Trolls:''' No! [garbled]
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Why not?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah cause, yeah Julie and I are doing very well together. But you know...
<br>'''Guys:''' Congratulations. Congratulations.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Ok, well, but just, uh, let me think about that, like you know, uh, OK, I am, I am, I am in love with Julie. She and I love each other very much.
<br>'''Guy:''' But you barely know each other, I mean, you've never met...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> We do, we have been... [fights to be heard] Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay. We talk to each other a lot about each other, getting to know each other very well.
<br>'''Guy:''' Well that's different, I mean there's knowing somebody, and then there's knowing somebody. You know her based on the internet. I mean, she doesn't have to tell you, you know, the facts.
<br>'''Guy #2:''' Or what she looks like.
<br>'''Guy:'''  You haven't seen her with your own eyes.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, she told me, she did tell me the facts about what she looks like, and she was very honest with me. And I was... [interrupted]
<br>'''Guy:'''...and on the internet, honesty really doesn't go that far. I mean...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [stress sigh]
<br>'''Guy:''' What if this one turns out, like, the last time, there's no[]where something always ends up as a wedge between you two. 
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I have faced a lot of obstacles, and I have, uh, overtaken them at my own pace, and uh, if anything pops up between me and Julie I'm willing to overtake them as well.
<br>'''Guy:''' It's just, I feel sorry for you man, you're always so close and something just makes it stop. I really wish you could find something [garbled].
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [stress sigh] Well, things have been working well between me and Julie.
<br>'''Guy #2:''' Well, from my personal experience, um, that always happens with internet relationships, like, long-distance relationships, they never really work out. But I [garbled].
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I appreciate that.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Hey Chris, can I ask you a question?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> It's kind of unrelated, I'm sorry, but um, I ordered up a new section on the Luv Shack, what's the story with the PokeBoy and the PokeGirl Magazine?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Um...Yeah, you guys, on the Luv Shack, I created this section, of uh, of the fan art images for guys and images for gals. Yeah, but, you know, fan art [] on the internet, you know, I would put the boys in the gals' section and the girls in the guys' section.
<br>'''Guy:''' You know, um, sorry. You don't mind drawing the guys?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Mmmmm... uh...Well there's, I'm still, I'm still in a bit of uh, I'm still having feelings, like, about that. I'm not comfortable with, like drawing them,...not drawing the Sonichus in that sense yet...
<br>'''Guy:''' But you realize, you know you need a male for, you know, hanky-panky, right Chris?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well, still, while I did draw, but I did draw Sonichu previously in that sense, I never would draw an uncensored...dick.
<br>'''Guys:''' [garbled]
<br>'''Guy #2:'''Are you willing to accept fan-art submissions for it? Like,[] after that?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Chris?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Well, for the fan-art section, for our gals, are you gonna put, like, all male ones, or are you gonna use [garbled]?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Um, I'm sorry, could you repeat that? All male ones or all female ones?
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Are you only talking about like, the nude ones, or just all, like the one I drew, for instance?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Mm. Yeah, I guess I could mix up and do both. I mean, it's not like they have to, would have to be...nude. Uh... Yeah, well, I try to promote straightness.
<br>'''Guy:''' So you could have it both.
<br>'''Guy #2:''' I don't think there's a problem. I mean, doesn't he promote straightness?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [in medias res]...section for the gals that has mostly guy images, and the section for the guys would have mostly girl images.
<br>'''Guy:''' Wait a second, mostly? Yeah, and wait a second, mostly? Mostly?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, if you could, uh, I would say mostly, because you know, I, between the two of them, I would like, uh, have, like, you know, if there was a guy and a guy [sic], uh, the Sonichu and the Rosechu doing it, then I would put that between both.
<br>'''Guy:''' Chris, what are you going to do about guys clicking on the guys section?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Wait, wait, wait. Uh, I'm sorry, could you repeat that?
<br>'''Guy:''' What about visitors who are guys who click on the guys section? Are you going to do something about that, like, put some sort of, one of your tests?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, I think you mean to say guys who click on the gals section.
<br>'''Guy:''' No!
<br>'''Guy #2''' He said, guys who click on the guys section.
<br>'''Guy:''' People do that. [Chris's dialogue cannot be heard] No, I don't mean confusing, I mean people intentionally doing that.
<br>'''Guy #3:''' No, he's talking about faggots.
<br>'''Guy:''' Exactly.
<br>'''Guy #4:''' That is a very hurtful word and I would ask that you not use it.
<br>'''Guy:''' Gay people then.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, you guys, I have never used that word. You'll never hear me use that word.
<br>'''Guy #3:''' I didn't mean to use that word either, I'm sorry. Everybody's talking for me.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. But like, you know, I hear it, and it's like you know I can take it with a grain of salt.
<br>'''Guy #2:''' [] who does click on that section and they're not straight.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> So you're asking me, if a homo clicks on the guys' section and then finds out that it's uh, mostly female images.
<br>'''Guys and Julie:''' [talking over each other trying to correct Chris's misunderstanding]
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Eh, well, because I can't have the cat, I am unable to sort, sort that out, uh...
<br>'''Guy:'''  You could put like a test or something, like they have to, I don't know. Never mind.
<br>'''Guy #2:''' You could put a, "Are you a guy, yes or no?"
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [stress sigh]
<br>'''Guy #3:''' I don't think it's that big of a deal.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, uh, yeah, yeah, I'm not gonna stress over it. If they wanna click on the gals, if the guys wanna click on the gals' section, and look at the guys in there, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna stress about it.
<br>'''Guy #2:''' But I thought you were going to promote straightness.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah exactly.
<br>'''Guy #2:''' Why do you need to promote straightness, when you don't have a []in the first place.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm.
<br>'''Guy #2:''' I mean, people are usually born, you know, with a certain preference.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I I I, I have heard that. I have heard of that. I have heard of that.
Yeah, if you remember, remember that American Dad episode where Stannis [?] goes to the RNC, but then he's like one of the gay guys.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I've seen that episode, and uh, didn't much particularly care much for that detail in that sense.
<br>'''Guy #2:''' Yeah, but, in the end, it's almost teaching people that people are born gay, they don't just turn gay.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [stress sigh]
<br>'''Guy #2:''' Chris, listen to me for a second. What we're trying to do point out is that your dislike for gay people is almost like people disliking you for being autistic. It's uh, you were born autistic, right? It's not something that you can help. When somebody is born gay it's not something they can help. It's outside of their control. So any form of, you know, uh, disregard for them as a person is really, it's really unfair, man.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmmm...
<br>'''Guy #3:''' Chris wasn't born autistic. He became autistic when the babysitter put him in the closet. He told us about it before.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, I was, I was born autistic, but the babysitter who locked me used that room to bring it out.
<br>'''Guy:''' I can understand that that might have been a traumatic experience that aggravated the condition maybe, but you still have to accept that that condition was inherent in your makeup from the beginning, right? It was an inherent factor.
<br>'''Guy #2:''' We don't want you to hurt people the way that people have hurt you.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, but, but, yeah but, also let me point out that I have taken the tests in my lifetime that prove whether I was autistic or not. And they've showed positive for autism. I mean, between taking a test in my young life, and during my teenage years, and in my...
<br>'''Guy:''' High-functioning labels aren't used anymore.
<br>'''Guy #2:''' If you only had high-functioning autism, and we [audio garbled]
<br>'''Guy #3:''' ...it's united like ADHD, it's uh,
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ADHD is uh, is different from autism. That's uh...
<br>'''Guy #3:'''  Not really, I mean, I had, uh, problems in school, so I had, you know, developmental difficulty, I had trouble focusing, and I had uh, trouble, you know, getting along with others. [people talk over each other]
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Stop. I have a question. The, uh, you said it was ADH...C?
<br>'''Guy #3:''' D!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> OK, so I know it's, uh, Attention Deficit and Disorder but [Guys: "Hyperactive."] Oh, hyperactive. OK. I just wanted to know, I just wanted to know what the H stood for.
<br> [garbled]
<br>'''Guy #3:''' I also don't like to be defined by my, uh, my, my disability. It's, I don't really see it as a disability because I, it doesn't factor that much into my life, you know. I don't blame myself, I don't blame things on it, I, I just try and improve myself as I go along. You know, like uh, you know, like if I can't pay attention then I'll work harder on paying attention, and eventually I'll get to a point where I can pay attention.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> [Chris is distracted by something.] Excuse me.
<br>'''Guy:''' It's just another hurdle to jump over.
<br>'''Guy:''' Wait, model's here [?].
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Alright. Oh shoot. Hang on, I'll be right back. I'll go ahead and do one thing about it, um,[] my glasses broke. I'll be right back. Hello? [He seems to be talking on the phone. Nothing consequential happens for two minutes]
 
 
 
 


{{Transcription}}
{{Transcription}}
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<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yep.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yep.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> What was that all about, Chris?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> What was that all about, Chris?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I just had to-- My Mom asked me to uh, go take her clothes out of the washing machine and put them in the dryer.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I just had to- My Mom asked me to uh, go take her clothes out of the washing machine and put them in the dryer.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> [something]
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> [something]
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay, yeah.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay, yeah.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Uh, Chris, I have a question, actually.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Uh, Chris, I have a question, actually.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> I have this friend... I think he-- It's a different friend, I think he might be gay.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> I have this friend... I think he- It's a different friend, I think he might be gay.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Wow.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Wow.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> He uh... After he's done masturbating he drinks his own semen, is that gay?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> He uh... After he's done masturbating he drinks his own semen, is that gay?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uhhhhh, no. I don't think s- I don't think so, because, uh... I've done that, it's called "recycling" it.  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uhhhhh, no. I don't think s- I don't think so, because, uh... I've done that, it's called "recycling" it.  
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Guys--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Guys-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Wait, let him answer.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Wait, let him answer.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, it's basically recycling, it's like uh, he doesn't necessarily have to lost it... Because you know, you think of it waste if you- If you banged it out... And then you uh, and then you put- It's like you flush it down the commode or leave it in the uh, condom and put it in the garbage can.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, it's basically recycling, it's like uh, he doesn't necessarily have to lost it... Because you know, you think of it waste if you- If you banged it out... And then you uh, and then you put- It's like you flush it down the commode or leave it in the uh, condom and put it in the garbage can.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> But isn't it burned up by stomach acid?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> But isn't it burned up by stomach acid?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> Yeah, it--  
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> Yeah, it-  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, yeah-- Yeah, yeah, yeah, but... STILL. Still, it's good for the new sperm cells. And plus there's also- Plus I've learned on the Internet that there's... There's vitamins in the- In the sperm cells, as well. So like, it's like basically you're helping yourself when you do that.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, yeah- Yeah, yeah, yeah, but... STILL. Still, it's good for the new sperm cells. And plus there's also- Plus I've learned on the Internet that there's... There's vitamins in the- In the sperm cells, as well. So like, it's like basically you're helping yourself when you do that.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> That's interesting. I hear that the--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> That's interesting. I hear that the-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Although- Although personally I've kind of gotten sick of, uh... Swallowing my own. So like, you know... So, lately I've just been disposing of them.  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Although- Although personally I've kind of gotten sick of, uh... Swallowing my own. So like, you know... So, lately I've just been disposing of them.  
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Umm--
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Umm-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I mean it just depends on your own individual tastes. Uh, yes, Julie?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I mean it just depends on your own individual tastes. Uh, yes, Julie?


Line 299: Line 459:
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> I don't understand why you're still single, honestly.
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> I don't understand why you're still single, honestly.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Tell me about it.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Tell me about it.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> But, Chris, you're--
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> But, Chris, you're-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh right, but I am in love with, uh, Julie... right there, who just spoke just now. But...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh right, but I am in love with, uh, Julie... right there, who just spoke just now. But...
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> Oh, she sounds like she's really pretty.
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> Oh, she sounds like she's really pretty.
Line 306: Line 466:
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> Maybe we can have a threesome.
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> Maybe we can have a threesome.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(shocked/happy)'' Oh wow!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(shocked/happy)'' Oh wow!
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> But--
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> But-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, go ahead, Julie.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, go ahead, Julie.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> well, Chris has stated before that he does not want a threesome with two men.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> well, Chris has stated before that he does not want a threesome with two men.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well I will-- Actually, Julie, I gave it some thought. And I am willing to do that for you. If you wanna do it with another- If you wanna do a threesome with uh, two guys... As long as, uh, I'm one of them... Uh, I'm okay with that. I've come to accept it.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well I will- Actually, Julie, I gave it some thought. And I am willing to do that for you. If you wanna do it with another- If you wanna do a threesome with uh, two guys... As long as, uh, I'm one of them... Uh, I'm okay with that. I've come to accept it.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Alright, I guess... I'll accept a threesome with two women.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Alright, I guess... I'll accept a threesome with two women.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well- You hear that, Emily? After Julie and I have done it a few times we can invite you.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well- You hear that, Emily? After Julie and I have done it a few times we can invite you.
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> That'd be really cool! I mean can go shopping at a sex store beforehand.
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> That'd be really cool! I mean we can go shopping at a sex store beforehand.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> You said with two guys?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> You said with two guys?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh... yeah.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh... yeah.
Line 318: Line 478:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uhhhhmmm...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uhhhhmmm...
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Not if balls aren't touching. They say it's not gay if all balls are not touching.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Not if balls aren't touching. They say it's not gay if all balls are not touching.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah I'm--
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah I'm-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Ball separation is key, guys. Ball separation is key.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Ball separation is key, guys. Ball separation is key.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. Uh, you hear- You hear that, Julie? That's uh... an official for us in that sense.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. Uh, you hear- You hear that, Julie? That's uh... an official for us in that sense.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Chris, wouldn't you like to be--
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Chris, wouldn't you like to be-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Well you know what I say-- ''(Talking over each other)''
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Well you know what I say- ''(Talking over each other)''
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hang on. Julie, say that again please?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hang on. Julie, say that again please?
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Well, when we do have a threesome with two women, what would you like me and Miss Emily to do?  
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Well, when we do have a threesome with two women, what would you like me and Miss Emily to do?  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Takes a deep breath, excited)'' Wow. I guess I'll put it out in the open, because I thought I'd told you before, Julie, but um... You know I--
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Takes a deep breath, excited)'' Wow. I guess I'll put it out in the open, because I thought I'd told you before, Julie, but um... You know I-
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> [something]
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> [something]
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay, well, you know like how, uh, lesbians do like a scissor thing? Uh, yeah--
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay, well, you know like how, uh, lesbians do like a scissor thing? Uh, yeah-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> You mean like "tribbing".
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> You mean like "tribbing".
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, what was that?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, what was that?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> You mean tribbing. Yeah, that's the actual term.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> You mean tribbing. Yeah, that's the actual term.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay, well... While two girls are tribbing, I put my dick between the two... Just-- Between the two pussies. ''(Awkward pause)''
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay, well... While two girls are tribbing, I put my dick between the two... Just- Between the two pussies. ''(Awkward pause)''
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> I think that would be really hot.
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> I think that would be really hot.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Seems kind of uncomfortable.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Seems kind of uncomfortable.
Line 339: Line 499:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hi, Sarah.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hi, Sarah.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I thought you were waiting for me and Julie to have a threesome.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I thought you were waiting for me and Julie to have a threesome.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh--
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh-
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I thought it was gonna be special.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I thought it was gonna be special.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh. Well--
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh. Well-
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> There can be four now!
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> There can be four now!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Heh... Or, uh, you know- Or Sarah, since, you know, I asked you first, we'll let you... We'll let you come over before Emily.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Heh... Or, uh, you know- Or Sarah, since, you know, I asked you first, we'll let you... We'll let you come over before Emily.
Line 349: Line 509:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sarah, I do care about you. I'm sorry I upset you.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sarah, I do care about you. I'm sorry I upset you.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> ...Thank you, Chris.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> ...Thank you, Chris.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> But--
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> But-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> So how many men would you do it with?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> So how many men would you do it with?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh... I'd... I think, uh... Yeah I think, uh, two women is my limit. So like, you know... Just have to do it one at a time, but Sarah calls first dibs on the threesome act.  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh... I'd... I think, uh... Yeah I think, uh, two women is my limit. So like, you know... Just have to do it one at a time, but Sarah calls first dibs on the threesome act.  
Line 358: Line 518:
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Uh... Polygamy, it's like having more than one partner.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Uh... Polygamy, it's like having more than one partner.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, I think you're talking about be married to more than one women. No, no...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, I think you're talking about be married to more than one women. No, no...
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Hey, so Chris, so we're obviously, uh--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Hey, so Chris, so we're obviously, uh-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> I mean Polyamory.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> I mean Polyamory.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Yeah, Polyamory.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Yeah, Polyamory.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Polyamory.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Polyamory.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah well anyway that- Anyway, that refers to married to more than one women, being ''married''. Not, uh, getting with- Not getting- Not, uh, not having sex, basically.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah well anyway that- Anyway, that refers to married to more than one women, being ''married''. Not, uh, getting with- Not getting- Not, uh, not having sex, basically.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> Wait, doesn't this go back to the whole "sex before marriage" part--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> Wait, doesn't this go back to the whole "sex before marriage" part-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, NO-NO-NO-No-No, let's not got into that now, let's not get into that again.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, NO-NO-NO-No-No, let's not got into that now, let's not get into that again.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> I mean like... Having multiple partners. Like, in multiple relationships.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> I mean like... Having multiple partners. Like, in multiple relationships.
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<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Let him talk.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Let him talk.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uhm... Tryin'... Mm. Hmmm.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uhm... Tryin'... Mm. Hmmm.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Chris, why are you taking-- ''[someone else talks over her]''
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Chris, why are you taking- ''[someone else talks over her]''
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm trying, I'm thinking!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm trying, I'm thinking!
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> --taking a long time.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> -taking a long time.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, I'm thinking, I'm thinking. I dunno... Mmm.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, I'm thinking, I'm thinking. I dunno... Mmm.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I just wanna know that you love me. Do you?
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I just wanna know that you love me. Do you?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sarah May, I love you at least as a friend. And, uh... And I love Julie, as my girlfriend... And, uh, you know, if Julie hadn't, uh, hadn't uh-- No, no, I'm sorry, I take that- beginning of that statement back, um... But anyway, um... I do love you very much--
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sarah May, I love you at least as a friend. And, uh... And I love Julie, as my girlfriend... And, uh, you know, if Julie hadn't, uh, hadn't uh- No, no, I'm sorry, I take that- beginning of that statement back, um... But anyway, um... I do love you very much-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> So you love Sarah as a friend?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> So you love Sarah as a friend?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, I'm saying I love Julie as a friend AND as a girlfriend, but I love Sarah May as a friend. And I would love for her to... take part with me and Julie in a threesome in the future.  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, I'm saying I love Julie as a friend AND as a girlfriend, but I love Sarah May as a friend. And I would love for her to... take part with me and Julie in a threesome in the future.  
Line 384: Line 544:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I- I- I appreciate your help. I appreciate your help.  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I- I- I appreciate your help. I appreciate your help.  
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> I personally think that you should just stick to one woman.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> I personally think that you should just stick to one woman.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, but, you know, sometimes, in a... relationship, that's... That's one way the couple can, uh, spice it up, make it more exciting, to re-ignite the spark. You know--
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, but, you know, sometimes, in a... relationship, that's... That's one way the couple can, uh, spice it up, make it more exciting, to re-ignite the spark. You know-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> So uh, what if you do that and you get both women pregnant?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> So uh, what if you do that and you get both women pregnant?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> But you, I thought you--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> But you, I thought you-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Wait, let him talk.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Wait, let him talk.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Pause)'' Uh...  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Pause)'' Uh...  
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Because that's happened before, I--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Because that's happened before, I-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I would- I would be-- I would wear a condom.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I would- I would be- I would wear a condom.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> What if it breaks?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> What if it breaks?
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> [something]
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> [something]
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Mildly shocked)'' Did you just say that this turns you on, Julie?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Mildly shocked)'' Did you just say that this turns you on, Julie?
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> No, [something]'s kinda turning me off.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> No, condoms kinda turn me off.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> Also, Chris, both of my younger cousins were both born, not only from condoms but [something] I think you'll have to take that into consideration, it--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> Also, Chris, both of my younger cousins were both born, not only from condoms but [something] I think you'll have to take that into consideration, it-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well-- Hey- Well, still-- Better off at least... the- At least having the protection.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well- Hey- Well, still- Better off at least... the- At least having the protection.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> I know but I'm just saying like, you wanna have a baby be born like--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> I know but I'm just saying like, you wanna have a baby be born like-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> And plus- And plus, if the first one breaks, I can always change- I can always switch it for another one.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> And plus- And plus, if the first one breaks, I can always change- I can always switch it for another one.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> I'm just saying, threesomes are risky, I mean what if you... I mean, you don't wanna have two children born from different mothers. ''(Awkward pause)'' Okay, uh--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> I'm just saying, threesomes are risky, I mean what if you... I mean, you don't wanna have two children born from different mothers. ''(Awkward pause)'' Okay, uh-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Also, how--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Also, how would you-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Ah, we're over this, already, I'm talking about something else.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Ah, we're over this, already, I'm talking about something else.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Alright, sorry buddy.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Alright, sorry buddy.


===Stress (53:20 - 1:03:22)===
===Stress (53:20 - 1:03:22)===
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well anyway, I-- Well anyway, final point, uh... Sarah, you called for-- Sarah, I will let you, uh, be the first to, uh, join me and Julie in a threesome.
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well anyway, I- Well anyway, final point, uh... Sarah, you called for- Sarah, I will let you, uh, be the first to, uh, join me and Julie in a threesome.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I appreciate that, but I... I just, you know I don't wanna be like, the first of MANY, I want it to be special. I kind of accept, but... Your [something]--
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I appreciate that, but I... I just, you know I don't wanna be like, the first of MANY, I want it to be special. I kind of accept, but... Your [something]
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, Sarah?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, Sarah?
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> --it's perfectly okay to have sex with her.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> -it's perfectly okay to have sex with her.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Um... Yeah, you're right. I apologize. Sarah, it can be very special, and I am willing to make it as special as possible when it happens. ''(Long pause)'' Hang on a second, I got something else that I'm doing here. Mmm. ''(Typing)''
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Um... Yeah, you're right. I apologize. Sarah, it can be very special, and I am willing to make it as special as possible when it happens. ''(Long pause)'' Hang on a second, I got something else that I'm doing here. Mmm. ''(Typing)''
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Well, what I've noticed is there's like different-- Seems like Chris has an old case of Friends With Benefits.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Well, what I've noticed is there's like different- Seems like Chris has an old case of Friends With Benefits.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> A-- Wait, what?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> A- Wait, what?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Friends With Benefits, it's like, you have your girlfriend, and um, Friends With Benefits is like you're friends with somebody but you can still have sex with them. I used to do that back in my earlier twenties, but... I wouldn't really reccoment it because it really gets complicated.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Friends With Benefits, it's like, you have your girlfriend, and um, Friends With Benefits is like you're friends with somebody but you can still have sex with them. I used to do that back in my earlier twenties, but... I wouldn't really reccoment it because it really gets complicated.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Yeah that's what I was talking about earlier you guys, it starts out as Fuck Buddies, and a--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Yeah that's what I was talking about earlier you guys, it starts out as Fuck Buddies, and a-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Loud Stress Sigh)''
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Loud Stress Sigh)''
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> --high percentage only leads to things getting awkward and kinda tangled up, it just--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> -high percentage only leads to things getting awkward and kinda tangled up, it just-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I hear you, I need to take my-- This is just a lot for me- For my mind to take in right now.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I hear you, I need to take my- This is just a lot for me- For my mind to take in right now.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Oh, sorry, um... Also, I'm a cartoonist. I read your webcomic, it's pretty good and stuff.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Oh, sorry, um... Also, I'm a cartoonist. I read your webcomic, it's pretty good and stuff.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Thank you.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Thank you.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Uh-- ''[Audio messed up for 20 seconds]'' --I was wondering like, how long does it take for you to draw a page? I can crank out a page, three to four pages per day.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Uh- ''[Audio messed up for 20 seconds]'' -I was wondering like, how long does it take for you to draw a page? I can crank out a page, three to four pages per day.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm. ''(Stressed)'' Well it depends on how I'm feeling and what my mood is. I mean, I- It's like I could probably do like, about, your amount, or better possibly, I'm not saying totally, or fully with confidence, but uh... But you know, it just- it depends on how I'm feeling. It's like you know, when some- I have lot of things that get me down. And... And get me emotionally down. And uh, I have things that get me emotionally up and, feeling like a yo-yo, it just uh... gives me a dizzy feeling, it's like... I don't know. Just makes me feel uncomfortable and it's like, uh... Doesn't really get me into drawing that much there.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm. ''(Stressed)'' Well it depends on how I'm feeling and what my mood is. I mean, I- It's like I could probably do like, about, your amount, or better possibly, I'm not saying totally, or fully with confidence, but uh... But you know, it just- it depends on how I'm feeling. It's like you know, when some- I have lot of things that get me down. And... And get me emotionally down. And uh, I have things that get me emotionally up and, feeling like a yo-yo, it just uh... gives me a dizzy feeling, it's like... I don't know. Just makes me feel uncomfortable and it's like, uh... Doesn't really get me into drawing that much there.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Uh... But see, the thing is, I've heard about your personal life and stuff. I heard that you're um, unemployed...  
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Uh... But see, the thing is, I've heard about your personal life and stuff. I heard that you're um, unemployed...  
Line 426: Line 586:
<br><font color="#000000">'''Cwuck Guy:'''</font> Actually, without vowels it's more of a "cwuck". ''[Chris talks]'' "Cwuh-UH-Ck." ''[Chris talks]'' No, no, Chris. A "C" makes a "Cuh" sound, and the "W" makes a "Wuh" sound, so it's "Cwuck". ''[somebody else says something]'' I didn't say "Quack", I said "Cwuck." I'm just trying to pronounce the three consonants. ''[somebody says something]'' I haven't pronounced it any different, I'm saying "Cwuck". "Cuh-Wuh-Ck." ''[Chris and others talk for a few seconds]'' You know what, you know what Chris it might actually be a good idea to put an explanation into the comics for people who aren't in this chat.  
<br><font color="#000000">'''Cwuck Guy:'''</font> Actually, without vowels it's more of a "cwuck". ''[Chris talks]'' "Cwuh-UH-Ck." ''[Chris talks]'' No, no, Chris. A "C" makes a "Cuh" sound, and the "W" makes a "Wuh" sound, so it's "Cwuck". ''[somebody else says something]'' I didn't say "Quack", I said "Cwuck." I'm just trying to pronounce the three consonants. ''[somebody says something]'' I haven't pronounced it any different, I'm saying "Cwuck". "Cuh-Wuh-Ck." ''[Chris and others talk for a few seconds]'' You know what, you know what Chris it might actually be a good idea to put an explanation into the comics for people who aren't in this chat.  
<br>''[Audio finally returns to normal at 1:03:22]''
<br>''[Audio finally returns to normal at 1:03:22]''
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> --four eyes.  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> -four eyes.  


===Impressions (1:03:22 - 1:09:27)===
===Impressions (1:03:22 - 1:09:27)===
Line 432: Line 592:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Alright well, excuse me, I misunderstood that. Well anyway, it's just a characteristic about Punchy.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Alright well, excuse me, I misunderstood that. Well anyway, it's just a characteristic about Punchy.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Chris, I'm sure ''[something about China, the country]''
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Chris, I'm sure ''[something about China, the country]''
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> I'm just easily offended by things I see, and uh... You know, stereotypical-- Like, last night we were reading it and some of us-- Who was doing the voice of Punchy? I think it might be nice to have Chris listen. ''[Says whatever the dude's name is]'', was that you?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> I'm just easily offended by things I see, and uh... You know, stereotypical- Like, last night we were reading it and some of us- Who was doing the voice of Punchy? I think it might be nice to have Chris listen. ''[Says whatever the dude's name is]'', was that you?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Voice Actor:'''</font> Yeah, I was doing it.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Voice Actor:'''</font> Yeah, I was doing it.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Hey, could you show Chris your Punchy voice?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Hey, could you show Chris your Punchy voice?
Line 444: Line 604:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmm...
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> That's bad, that's racist, man.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> That's bad, that's racist, man.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah--
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> In the comic it says he's a martial artist, like...
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> In the comic it says he's a martial artist, like...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Alright, well, for the record, that's not what Punchy would sound like. But, you know, for a reference, Punchy would definitely sound more like... The guy who actually did the voice of Knuckles in the animation.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Alright, well, for the record, that's not what Punchy would sound like. But, you know, for a reference, Punchy would definitely sound more like... The guy who actually did the voice of Knuckles in the animation.
Line 452: Line 612:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No- No no no no, not bas- He's not basically Knuckles, I'm just saying that his voice would SOUND like knuckles.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No- No no no no, not bas- He's not basically Knuckles, I'm just saying that his voice would SOUND like knuckles.
''[Everybody talks over each other]''
''[Everybody talks over each other]''
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Well, he's got the same eyes as Knuckles, he's got the... like, the knuckle-duster things. And, y'know, he's being voiced by the same person as Knuckles--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Well, he's got the same eyes as Knuckles, he's got the... like, the knuckle-duster things. And, y'know, he's being voiced by the same person as Knuckles-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> NO, not necessarily the same PERSON. Not necessarily the same person, but... Sounding similar. But not exactly--  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> NO, not necessarily the same PERSON. Not necessarily the same person, but... Sounding similar. But not exactly-  
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> So essentially somebody doing the Knuckles voice. Some guy, who isn't the voice actor for Knuckles, doing the exact same voice for Punchy.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> So essentially somebody doing the Knuckles voice. Some guy, who isn't the voice actor for Knuckles, doing the exact same voice for Punchy.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> ''[says something about someone named YouTubeLover]''
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> ''[says something about someone named YouTubeLover]''
Line 466: Line 626:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> That's funny. Just sounded like Meatwad there.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> That's funny. Just sounded like Meatwad there.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Yeah, sorry. ''[says something about doing voices]''.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Yeah, sorry. ''[says something about doing voices]''.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I-- I can do- I can do it a little bit better. Listen--
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I- I can do- I can do it a little bit better. Listen-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Meatwad:'''</font> "Go out and zap it to the extreme!!"
<br><font color="#000000">'''Meatwad:'''</font> "Go out and zap it to the extreme!!"
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Does Meatwad impression. I have no idea what he says.]''  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[Does Meatwad impression. I have no idea what he says.]''  
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Um, I'd say his was better, Chris.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Um, I'd say his was better, Chris.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Meatwad:'''</font> Yeah! ''[Says something else, his impression is as hard to understand as Chris's]''.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Meatwad:'''</font> Yeah! ''[Says something else, his impression is as hard to understand as Chris's]''
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> I think Chris's is better.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> I think Chris's is better.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> Nah, I like his.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> Nah, I like his.
Line 500: Line 660:
<br><font color="#000000">'''Dr. Rockzo:'''</font> Yeaaah!!
<br><font color="#000000">'''Dr. Rockzo:'''</font> Yeaaah!!


===Comics and Toys (1:09:27 - 1:17-43)===
===Comics and Toys (1:09:27 - 1:17:43)===
<font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> So, um, Chris. I'd like to have a friendly challenge with you. Seeing as how we're both artists and we're pretty much, um... We're pretty much both, um... artists. I'd like to-- You know how you say you do a page a day?  
<font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> So, um, Chris. I'd like to have a friendly challenge with you. Seeing as how we're both artists and we're pretty much, um... We're pretty much both, um... artists. I'd like to- You know how you say you do a page a day?  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uhhh, yeah?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uhhh, yeah?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Alright, well, I'd like to do a week challenge. Starting on Monday, you know--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Alright, well, I'd like to do a week challenge. Starting on Monday, you know-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Monday next week.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Monday next week.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Yeah, starting Monday next week, we will each challege to draw one page of whatever comic you wish, like you can do Sonichu, and we have to do something entirely new per week, from Monday until that Sunday, so it'll be seven days, seven page comic per day. I was wondering if you wanna do that challenge with me?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Yeah, starting Monday next week, we will each challege to draw one page of whatever comic you wish, like you can do Sonichu, and we have to do something entirely new per week, from Monday until that Sunday, so it'll be seven days, seven page comic per day. I was wondering if you wanna do that challenge with me?
Line 528: Line 688:
<br><font color="#000000">'''Laugher:'''</font> Ha ha ha ha ha.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Laugher:'''</font> Ha ha ha ha ha.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> ...That was a great laugh, can you do that again? ''(Pause)'' Yeah, I thought not.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> ...That was a great laugh, can you do that again? ''(Pause)'' Yeah, I thought not.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Hey, Chris, what do you think about more contemporary-- Well, not exactly comtemporary, but uh, some of the more famous graphic novels from The West, we're talking stuff by Alan Moore and Neil Gaiman, like uh, you heard of any of that?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Hey, Chris, what do you think about more contemporary- Well, not exactly comtemporary, but uh, some of the more famous graphic novels from The West, we're talking stuff by Alan Moore and Neil Gaiman, like uh, you heard of any of that?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, I never heard of those.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, I never heard of those.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> The Watchmen? You know, the most celebrated graphic novel of all time...
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> The Watchmen? You know, the most celebrated graphic novel of all time...
Line 541: Line 701:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, seen, or uh... have it, yet.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, seen, or uh... have it, yet.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> And I doubt the movie's going to be very good, they usually screw up the movies, and seeing as how the guy who directed 300 is doing it, I think it's just gonna be a overdone pile of garbage.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> And I doubt the movie's going to be very good, they usually screw up the movies, and seeing as how the guy who directed 300 is doing it, I think it's just gonna be a overdone pile of garbage.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Alright sorry, I had to let my dog out, he was scratching in the dark. Um, the thing is that Zack Snyder he's good at certain types of movies, and I'm not sure that Watchmen is really his--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Alright sorry, I had to let my dog out, he was scratching in the dark. Um, the thing is that Zack Snyder he's good at certain types of movies, and I'm not sure that Watchmen is really his-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well. I'm not saying that I'm necessarily gonna be watching the movie... But, you know, because I hear good talk, I may consider downloading a... episode or two of the Watchmen animated comic. On the PlayStation Network.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well. I'm not saying that I'm necessarily gonna be watching the movie... But, you know, because I hear good talk, I may consider downloading a... episode or two of the Watchmen animated comic. On the PlayStation Network.
<br>''[something about how it's not animated and it's going to be on DVD soon]''
<br>''[something about how it's not animated and it's going to be on DVD soon]''
Line 558: Line 718:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh... No. I used to, but I don't nowadays.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh... No. I used to, but I don't nowadays.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> What about the toys, I mean you can still buy the toys separately from the Happy Meals.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> What about the toys, I mean you can still buy the toys separately from the Happy Meals.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah... But I don't need necessarily now to collect the toys... But it's not like I, uh-- It's been a long time since I actually bought a toy by itself from McDonald's or Burger King. ''(Pause)'' Yeah, so like I said, that's uh... I haven't done that in a long time.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah... But I don't need necessarily now to collect the toys... But it's not like I, uh- It's been a long time since I actually bought a toy by itself from McDonald's or Burger King. ''(Pause)'' Yeah, so like I said, that's uh... I haven't done that in a long time.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Oh... Are most of the toys in your room from past... like, you collected?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Oh... Are most of the toys in your room from past... like, you collected?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh... Yeah, most of which.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh... Yeah, most of which.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> So you don't buy toys, like, recently?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> So you don't buy toys, like, recently?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well I mean I buy like-- I bought, like... Transformer toys, recently.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well I mean I buy like- I bought, like... Transformer toys, recently.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> I have another question from a fan, uh... YouTubeLover was saying, you have so many toys, so when do you play with them? Or, do you play with them?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> I have another question from a fan, uh... YouTubeLover was saying, you have so many toys, so when do you play with them? Or, do you play with them?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I play with them sometimes. You know just to at least, change them from robot, to vehicle, to robot and back, and back. Hm... It's kinda like, uh, one way to, uh, put my mind off something else, or relieve stress events, it just- ''(Suddenly getting defensive about it)'' I don't care- I don't care, it's like, you know, people are young at heart, and I consider myself young at heart, ''so there''.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I play with them sometimes. You know just to at least, change them from robot, to vehicle, to robot and back, and back. Hm... It's kinda like, uh, one way to, uh, put my mind off something else, or relieve stress events, it just- ''(Suddenly getting defensive about it)'' I don't care- I don't care, it's like, you know, people are young at heart, and I consider myself young at heart, ''so there''.
Line 570: Line 730:
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Which grade do you build?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Which grade do you build?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Oh, I have all the grades, I have like everything.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Oh, I have all the grades, I have like everything.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> I only do like... first grade--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> I only do like... first grade-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Anyway, let Chris talk.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Anyway, let Chris talk.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No that's okay, you all continue, 'cause I don't have anything to contribute to the conversation.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No that's okay, you all continue, 'cause I don't have anything to contribute to the conversation.
Line 576: Line 736:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I mean, I... don't particularly have any Gundam models myself. So, I wouldn't- So, I can't really say. Myself.  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I mean, I... don't particularly have any Gundam models myself. So, I wouldn't- So, I can't really say. Myself.  
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> But still, you do have toys, right, I'm just saying that's cool.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> But still, you do have toys, right, I'm just saying that's cool.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I mean, it's alright, I don't mind other conversations besides from ones around me. I mean let's all talk--
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I mean, it's alright, I don't mind other conversations besides from ones around me. I mean let's all talk-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Yeah but you're here and essentially... You don't really come here much.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Yeah but you're here and essentially... You don't really come here much.


Line 585: Line 745:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uhhhhhh... I'm sorry could you repeat that question again, my "duck pier"?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uhhhhhh... I'm sorry could you repeat that question again, my "duck pier"?
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> Your duck pierced, you know, your...
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> Your duck pierced, you know, your...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Ohh! Oh, right, oh. I would never have-- I do not have a piercing--
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Ohh! Oh, right, oh. I would never have- I do not have a piercing-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Prince Albert.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Prince Albert.
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> No but would you do it, because, I mean--
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> No but would you do it, because, I mean-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No.
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> It can increase the pleasure.
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''</font> It can increase the pleasure.
Line 594: Line 754:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It's an- It's a- It stand- It's like, replacing the "I" with a "U" in the word "dick".
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It's an- It's a- It stand- It's like, replacing the "I" with a "U" in the word "dick".
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> So it's a euphemism. ''(Pause)''
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> So it's a euphemism. ''(Pause)''
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It's just another word I made up, another word for dick, but without saying "dick". It's--
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It's just another word I made up, another word for dick, but without saying "dick". It's-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Do you know what a euphemism is?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Do you know what a euphemism is?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> Okay, it's called a euphemism.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> Okay, it's called a euphemism.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> "Euphemism"...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> "Euphemism"...
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> It's basically another word for saying a nicer word for something that--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> It's basically another word for saying a nicer word for something that-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> I understand, I understand.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> I understand, I understand.
Line 605: Line 765:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah- Uh, excuse me, I'll be right back.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah- Uh, excuse me, I'll be right back.
<br>''[Silence for a few seconds]''
<br>''[Silence for a few seconds]''
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Seriously guys, we--
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Seriously guys, we-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(In the background)'' Kittyyyyy... ''(More silence)'' No kitty! Outta the kitchen. Shoo! Shoo-shoo! ''(More silence for a while, some rustling and breathing heard)''
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(In the background)'' Kittyyyyy... ''(More silence)'' No kitty! Outta the kitchen. Shoo! Shoo-shoo! ''(More silence for a while, some rustling and breathing heard)''
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Are you okay?
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Are you okay?
Line 634: Line 794:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Is it actually what?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Is it actually what?
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Tell me about why your duck is bent, please.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Tell me about why your duck is bent, please.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh. Oh, bent. Yeah. I- I did- It's... It's- It's natural, it's natural, toward- Toward the end, it has a downward bend. It's downward. Uh, it--
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh. Oh, bent. Yeah. I- I did- It's... It's- It's natural, it's natural, toward- Toward the end, it has a downward bend. It's downward. Uh, it-
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Chris, I'm a doctor. I've never heard in my life anything like that.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Chris, I'm a doctor. I've never heard in my life anything like that.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You're a doctor?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You're a doctor?
Line 641: Line 801:
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> It was like one of the first things I sent you. How do you not remember?
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> It was like one of the first things I sent you. How do you not remember?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Julie, I forgot that one, but yeah- That's right, yeah, you did tell me about that. Sorry about that. Well anyway, you are studying to be a doctor.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Julie, I forgot that one, but yeah- That's right, yeah, you did tell me about that. Sorry about that. Well anyway, you are studying to be a doctor.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Yes, and never in my life have I heard that it... Chris, was it-- Was it a penis pump? It's okay if it was, I just want you to tell me the truth.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Yes, and never in my life have I heard that it... Chris, was it- Was it a penis pump? It's okay if it was, I just want you to tell me the truth.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh... Well, actually, um... Well, I don't-- Okay, I don't know why it's bent downward, I just assumed it was natural.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh... Well, actually, um... Well, I don't- Okay, I don't know why it's bent downward, I just assumed it was natural.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> You must have done something, come on.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> You must have done something, come on.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well... Maybe because I've been wearing briefs- I've been wearing briefs all my life, and that could've, uh, forced it to be bent downward when it gets... stiff.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well... Maybe because I've been wearing briefs- I've been wearing briefs all my life, and that could've, uh, forced it to be bent downward when it gets... stiff.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> But, Chris--
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> But, Chris-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I dunno! I don't but- I don't know--
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I dunno! I don't but- I don't know-
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Chris, have you ever used a penis pump?
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Chris, have you ever used a penis pump?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> A- a- a pump?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> A- a- a pump?
Line 654: Line 814:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I never took Viagra.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I never took Viagra.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> You told me you did, didn't you?
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> You told me you did, didn't you?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, I took-- For the record, I did not take Viagra, I took Extenze.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, I took- For the record, I did not take Viagra, I took Extenze.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Oh right, right.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Oh right, right.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> And my-- My... dick was bent downward before I took that aswell.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> And my- My... dick was bent downward before I took that as well.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Oh. Can I ask you a question about that?
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Oh. Can I ask you a question about that?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, sure.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, sure.
Line 674: Line 834:
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, for the record, mine does grow up to a maxium of seven inches.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, for the record, mine does grow up to a maxium of seven inches.
<br>''[People talking over each other, somebody asks about measuring]''
<br>''[People talking over each other, somebody asks about measuring]''
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm... Well--
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm... Well-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> You could use a tape measure.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> You could use a tape measure.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I used a- I used a ruler. You know I--  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I used a- I used a ruler. You know I-  
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Oh.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Oh.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I based it against the uh, bent part. Make it straight. So, it does go a maxium of seven inches in length.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I based it against the uh, bent part. Make it straight. So, it does go a maxium of seven inches in length.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Yeah my dad was a doctor, he always told me to stay away from those things.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Yeah my dad was a doctor, he always told me to stay away from those things.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well anyway, you know, that measurement was-- That measurement was made AFTER the, uh... Extenze. ''(Pause)'' You know, before and after- Before it was like five to six inches.  
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well anyway, you know, that measurement was- That measurement was made AFTER the, uh... Extenze. ''(Pause)'' You know, before and after- Before it was like five to six inches.  
 
===Dating Education (1:28:30- 1:38:48)===
<font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Okay, um... ''(Awkward silence)''
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Hey Chris, I was wondering, where did you get the idea for [[Dating Education]]?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> The idea for Dating Education... Okay, basically in High School we have ''Sexual'' Education, and it's like, well it's fine for... when you get that far in the dating situation, but how to we get to the first date, period. That's the idea-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> Uh, excuse me Chris, but I think the whole point of Sex Ed is more out of, um... cautioninary, you know, telling the kids to take caution and-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> -it's not exactly an instructor, it's more or less just telling them-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, yeah, I- I understand that. And, uh... I understand that, I took a Sex Ed class when I was in High School, so I unders- I do have [[Chris and sex|a great understanding]] of that. I'm just saying, how do we... get to the first date, period, that's why, Dating Education, I feel is required. It's-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Well most people- The thing is, most people can handle their own pre-date blindness, I think it's just your Autism kind of prevents you from-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Plus, you-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Hold on, let me talk.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Look, let me just, look, well one thing. ''This guy'' is blaming my Autism.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> No, no, no, look, I'm studying psychology, I know this stuff. Um, it makes it hard for you to interpret social cues, so...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes, exactly, Dating Education is for people like that. Could be for people like that to-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> You could actually go to therapy, and they can teach you this stuff.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, they should teach it- They should teach it like in uh... In the High Schools-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> That seems kinda like it would be a waste of school funds.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, not necessarily!
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> I'm just saying for normal- Normally for people, dating comes easily for them.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah well there are- There's-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Wait, wait, don't talk over him.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> There are a lot of people who still are very shy to even approach... women, and there are even shy people who are afraid to approach men. I-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Well, I think that has to do more with personal shyness, I mean you have to get over that eventually. That is very-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, but still, Dating Education classes will- Will allow... Would teach, uh... The uh, shy people, uh... Good things to say and do.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Well, they already have Psycho Therapy.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> And also-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Psycho Therapy.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It has nothing to do with therapy. It's like... You teach them to-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> How isn't it like therapy?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You teach- Therapy is like, only one person, in one room, you-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> No, they have group therapy too.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> Yeah, I took group therapy for my depression, and it helped me.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> I have something called Social Anxiety Disorder, I was really shy, I couldn't talk to anyone, so I went to group therapy, and I learned all about dates and stuff.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> Hold up, uh, Chris- I don't know if you're reading the left or not, but YouTubeLover is actually saying that shy people aren't retarded, ''[something]'' YouTubeLover is saying.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Ummm... For the record, I'm not- I'm not [[slow in the mind]]. And also, The R-Word is offensive to me.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> I'm sorry, that's just what YouTubeLover said.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> "The R-Word"?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> "Retarded".
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Oh.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It questions the mental capabilities.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Chris, this is not what I'm talking about at all, you're just taking what I'm saying and trying to completely derail it.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> I know what you're talking about.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> Maybe you need a class on how to get friends.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> See, what I'm saying is this is all, um... Making friends and stuff, this is all... It's not really stuff you can teach, it's just...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, but... Dating Education class would teach you, like, would recommend... suggest things you could say and do.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> But it isn't really a proven method, Chris.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> Chris, let me- Here's the situation, you remember when you were in the PokeLeague?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Uh, yeah.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> Yes. Did you have friends there? I mean, that's what friends are, friends are people that you can relate to, they are... people that share-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I had- I had acquaintances- I had... friends AND acquaintances.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> Well, it- I mean, you like to put things into categories and, y'know, you'd consider people that have a similar interest in things with you as friends, because you know, you talk to them about things, and you share ideas.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> I mean, we're all just trying to help you, Chris.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Right.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> What I'm trying to say is, dating basically comes down to social skills. You can't teach social skills as something that- You can get therapy for it, I mean it's not really something you can teach.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It can be taught though.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 2:'''</font> No it can't.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 4:'''</font> There are like, dating coaches, Chris, have you ever thought of seeing a dating coach or someone like that?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> Those are baloney.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. Sounds like baloney.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> ..You know, you kind of-
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 1:'''</font> Well anyway, what I was saying, is... forget it now.
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy 3:'''</font> Well, as I was saying, you... You don't really learn, you kind of, you know... Get to know somebody, um... It usually starts on how they... It usually starts with similar interests-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Alright, hang on, hang on. Stop for a moment. Hey. YouTubeLover, I've played video games, my mind gets- I have developed quick-minded skills from that, so therefore... I can make- I can make decisions on the fly like THAT. ''(Pause)'' Yeah but still, that still proves that I'm not slow. 'Cause I can make decisions-
<br>''[Audio is messed up for a while, Chris is still talking about how he's not slow and has many friends]''
<br><font color="#000000">'''Guy:'''</font> It sounds like you're getting "acquaintances" and "friends" messed up, the people at Church are acquaintances, and kind of have to be with you, friends are the people that would ask, after Church, "Hey, let's go get something to eat" or "Hey, did you hear about this movie coming out?" and then you go see a movie with them.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay, I'm getting tired of answering questions right now, but... ''[Audio still messed up. Chris and the others keep talking back and forth for a while. Sarah May returns and they start talking, eventually the audio goes back to normal]''
 
===Chris shatters Sarah May's heart (1:38:48 - 1:56:55)===
<font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sarah, you are my friend.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I don't know, because it doesn't always feel like that, you know?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmmm... I get- I get under stress sometimes, it's hard for me to... think... about every single detail.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I sensing that, like, you just wanna use me for sex, you-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I want- I- I am your friend, and I wish to... Sarah, you are my friend. And I love you as such. Okay?
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I guess, I... kind of feel like crying...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No you don't have- Don't cry. Don't cry. I'm sorry.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I'm just a little upset that ''[something]'' then we'd have a threesome and like-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh. Oh, oh, oh, that. Yeah. Hmmm... Yeah. I'm sorry about that. It- Uh... My mind was- was in one- was... Uh... Had my mind in another location, and uh, just... didn't want me to think, past... clearly. I'm sorry.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> You mean like, in a sexual place, you know, like thinking about that?
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Actually, Chris?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No I- No no no, not in a sexual place, no.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Okay...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I was like, uh... Hm, uh... some- yeah. Hm. Anyway, I'm sorry, Sarah.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Um, Chris?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes, Julie?
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Because of my, uh, recent religious studies, I don't really think... Chris, I don't really want you to have sex with another woman.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well, I'd be having the sex with you FIRST.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> No, that's... That's not what I mean, it's more the... I don't want you to have sex with another woman.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Sigh)'' Well that's like, you're- you're- you're, uh... Now you're saying it's like, uh... Another-
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> And I'm not gonna have sex with other men either, so...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> But, you know, Julie I was-
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Chris?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> The Bible states that sex should only be after marriage and with one person, your soulmate.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, well... Yes. Julie. But, you know, from what I was taught in my Methodist Church, sex before marriage IS okay. As long as we love each other. Very much, Julie. And I love you.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Chris, I do truly love you, but... It's love, and it's something you should just share with me, you know.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, that's right, I will be shining for you first, for a whole bunch- For a whole bunch of number of times, and than if we want- and then if we- Then- If and when we feel ready, with Sarah, who is our, uh... Who is our friend.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> It's God's will that you went to a Methodist Church. Which is the same is mine.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Wait a minute, I thought you said that you didn't go to Church.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> No I mean, I went to a Methodist Church and it's the same as yours- No, I mean- What I'm trying to say is, what I'm TRYING to say is that I don't want you having sex with other women. I'm just trying- Chris...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Julie. I understand. And I'll respect your wishes. I will keep myself- I will save myself sexually for you.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> I'm sorry, I'm just nervous.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It's okay. It's okay, I understand. ''(Pause)'' I'm hugging you, Julie. Do you feel that?
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Yes. You promise me you won't have sex with other women?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Un- Unless I had your consent, I promise I will not have sex with other women.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> But... But, Chris, you promised.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well... Yeah, I promised, uh... You'd be the first- You would be in- You would be- You would be in our threesome, and uh...
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> But... But Julie just said she didn't want you to... You know...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, she didn't want me to have... sex with other women, uh... Julie, uh, you wanna answer this question? Because I'm not sure I'm able to, myself.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Yes, I will answer it.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> So what's the question?
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Um, I was just wondering because... Chris promised me before that he would have a threesome with me, and now you don't him to, and... I'm really upset right now, is all.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Well yes, but you must understand where I'm coming from, I mean, I'm sure if you had a husband, you actually wouldn't want him having sex with other men.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Well, I- I understand, because I'd want to keep my man to myself to, but it's just... He promised, I don't know what kind of person goes back on their promises.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> I'm sorry, Sarah May, but this is my decision.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I understand, but... I just feel really... The promise you made to me was just really special and sacred, you know? I just want to know that we're good friends, you know?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I meant the promise as sacred between me and Sarah May, as friends, and such. And, uh, Julie, just to let you know, I would be- I would be okay- You would have my consent if you wanted to, uh, have sex with the other man, that's why I had given- That's why I gave it consideration, and uh... Feel that I'd be cool. With uh, you having, uh... With you and me having a with- With another- With the guy, with the second guy in there.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Chris?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> The Bible is the Word of God. Not your Church. I love you. I love you with my heart, Chris, but please...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I understand, Julie. I understand. And I respect... you for that.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I think it's okay in the Bible if it's sex with someone you truly love.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. You're right- You are correct, Sarah. It is. Yeah.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> It's the WORD OF GOD. Not your Church.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, but the Church enforces, uh... The rules in the Bible. A guidelines for like, how we should... live our lives. Recommendations.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> It's God's Will. And I think that it would be against God's Will if we decide to do it with another man or woman.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hmmm. I understand, yeah.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Now please, Chris. Promise me that you won't have sex with another woman that's not me.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Julie, I promise, I will not have sex with another woman that's other than you.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> But you promised me first! Doesn't that matter to you?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm. Yes, Sarah, it does matter to me. And I'm sorry. I just-
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> But-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I didn't realize that Julie would feel this way. I wish you-
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Well-
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> I'm sorry, Sarah May.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Doesn't it matter the way I feel?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It does matter, Sarah. I feel for you. I truly do.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I don't think you do, Chris! I doesn't feel like you do.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I do, cuz it- 'Cause right now, it might feel like, uh... You're being... You're being set- It might feel like you're possibly being set out- Set aside, like an outsider, but-
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> It feels like that because that's what is happening, I mean there's no other word for it.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Wait a minute, Chris. Chris, when you talk about how you promised her first... Who else have you promised sex to?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Ohhhhh... Uhhhh...
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Chris, a promise is a sacred thing, and I just don't understand why you would promise me and then break it, and then promise Julie, how does she know it's true?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Sigh)''
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Because he truly loves me.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> But I thought you loved me!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm. Alright, I-
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Chris, you- You can't have it both ways, you know. I don't understand why you-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sarah. Sarah.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Yes?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Don't be upset. I'm sorry, I made the uh, promise... with a- with an assumption that I was uncertain of on, uh, Julie's behalf. And Sarah, I love you and care about and respect you as a friend. And I'm sorry I made a promise I could not keep.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> But, I don't know if I can trust you now. I mean, I was gonna go to Virginia and everything, and now it's... Now I don't think I should.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sarah, you are welcome to come and visit. But as I just have promised Julie... No sex. But we can still hang out together. Is that okay, Julie?
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> What?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Just hanging out. Me and Sarah May.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Well that's alright. But if I catch word, Chris, that you did commit adultery with Sarah May I will be very upset.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I swear, I will not, uh... have sex with Sarah May. Sarah, you-
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> ''(Crying)'' It's not fair, Chris!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> It's not fair, why would you do this to me??
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I didn't know back then!! I'm sorry.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I... I feel so broken right now.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I feel s- I feel sad about it too. That I- That, uh... I can't keep the promise. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. ''(Pause)'' I feel for you, I truly do, Sarah. As a friend, I feel for you.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> How could you feel for me, 'cause... This is never happened to you, no one's ever broken your heart like this.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> My heart HAS been broken before. ''(Sigh)'' Between Mary Lee Walsh, uh... Tellin' me not to search for my sw- Search for sweetheart the way I did back then. And then also that one time... That I actually drew in the- drew as a Sub-Episode. Hanna. She was just pulling my leg back then.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Chris, what are you talking about?!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm just giving you a couple of examples of when my heart WAS actually broken.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> But- But why? We're talking about me right now, I thought.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay, yeah, we are talking about you right now. ''(Sigh)''
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I don't think you care about me anymore...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I- I DO care about you, Sarah May. I care about you very much, as a friend. Okay?
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Chris?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes, Julie.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> I have heard that it was said, "You shall not commit adultery, but I say to you, that anyone who looks at a woman to lust for her, has committed adultery in his heart." Do you understand what I'm saying?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Hm. Yes, Julie. And you know, Julie, I'll tell- I'll tell you something. Uh... I'm not, I uh, I'm not uh... I'm still holding on to my- to the, uh... feelings that I was feeling when I was talking to you, Sarah, but, you know, just, uh... I'm holding on that, but I'm talking to Julie right now. And Julie, I wanna say, I'm proud of you for, uh, taking such an interest in the Methodist Church.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Thank you.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Okay.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I'm religious too, I just... Am I wrong?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, you-
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Am I wrong about what I believe?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, Sarah. You are not wrong. You are right. You are right in what you believe, yourself.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> But how can both me and Julie be right?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Sigh)'' Because, to... each of you, from your own point of view, what you see is right.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> But Chris, why are you listening to what Julie says about religion? Why aren't you listening to me?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry, uh... I- I will listen to you, Sarah, umm... If you have anything you'd like to say, I'm... open and I will listen to your impressions and assumptions. ''(Long pause)''
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Well... I mean, I'm Jewish, is that okay?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh, you're Jewish.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Yeah.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I did not- I did not know that. But, yes, that's okay, '''Julie'''. You are Jewish-
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I was really afraid that you would... be upset with me.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No it's okay, I'm not upset with you. I'm not upset with you, '''Julie'''. And I accept the fact that you are Jewish. And I accept- And I still accept you... as my friend. And also, uh, I may offer a input, if I heard correctly, uh... Uh, people who are Jewish are not supposed to have sex outside their religion.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Yes, some people believe that, but not all of them.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Do you believe it?
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Some of us don't believe in it.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh. Do you believe in it?
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Yeah, I think as long as the people love each other, then it's okay.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh. Well then, '''Julie''', you are right.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I mean, I respect Julie's opinions and all, but, you know, I just... I think in any religion that a promise should be a sacred thing, you know.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yes, '''Julie''', I agree. Promises are sacred.
<br>''(In case you lost count, Chris called her by the wrong name FOUR times in a row.)''
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> That was me, not Julie.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Not understanding)'' Yes. I am listening.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Why are you calling me "Julie", Chris?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, I- I did not call you "Julie".
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> You just did!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Wait... No, I said "Yes-" ''(Finally realizes)'' Oh, I'm sorry. My mind is-
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> You- Are you just pretending that I'm Julie?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, no, no! No, Sarah. No. I'm not-
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> ''(Crying)'' Why would you do that to me?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> It was an accident!
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> WHY???
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm sorry.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> How could you make a stupid accident like that, Chris??
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I'm not perfect, we're not perfect! ''(Sigh)'' We're only- We're only human. We have our- We have rights to make mistakes. And I have made mistakes.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> It's just like, when you're having sex with somebody and they say somebody else's name, do you know what that would feel like? Do you know what this is doing to me right now, Chris??
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I- Sarah. I do understand. Because I have... seen that situation on television.
<br>''[Once again, the audio is fucked. Chris and Sarah May are talking. Sarah says something about killing herself and Chris yells at her not to do it. Someone laughs, presumably the person who is recording the chat. The audio returns to normal for a few seconds.]
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''[something]'' -it was just now!
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> ''(Crying)'' I'm sorry, you know I-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> NOOOOOOOO, I'm sorry-
<br>''[Audio cuts out again for a short while]''
 
===Put the knife down, I sent you a lock of my hair! (1:56:55 - 2:01:42)===
<font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I can't believe this!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Sigh)'' I can't believe it either.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> You- You won't even say anything, you just told me you don't ''[something]'' ...You don't even care about me!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sarah, I do care about you!
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> You just wanna talk to Julie right now, don't you?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, I'm talk- No. I wanna talk to you, I want to... help you feel better, Sarah.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> You're not even trying...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I am trying, Sarah. I'm sorry. I messed up, and I feel bad about it too.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> But you KEEP messing up! You just- you keep doing it! I... I think I'm gonna do something really bad...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> NO, SARAH, DON'T! Don't do- Don't do anything bad! Don't, no. No. Don't hurt yourself, Sarah.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Chris... I think I'm going to.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> NO, NO, NO, don't do that, you've got a lot to live for, Sarah.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I feel like- I feel like killing myself, or-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, Sarah, don't!
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I'm gonna kill myself...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No! No, no. No. No. Sarah? Don't kill yourself. Don't kill yourself.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I just- I feel like nothing is worth living for anymore, because-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sarah! Sarah, there are a lot of things in life worth living for.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> There nothing, if your friend can't even keep a promise and doesn't even know your name...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I do know your name, your name is Sarah.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> You don't- You don't know my name... You don't.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Your name is- You are SARAH MAY.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Then why do you keep calling me "Julie"?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I am not- I stopped. I stopped doing that.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> You did it like five times!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, Sarah. Look, ''(Sigh)'' well maybe I miscounted.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I'm killing myself right now...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> NO, NO, DON'T- No! No! No! No-
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I've got the blade, you can't stop me!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, Sarah- Sarah, put the knife down.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I'm doing it!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No- No, Sarah! No.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I'm doing it right now!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No. Look, stop. Stop. Just, just stop.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> ''(Crying)''
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Put the knife down, Sarah.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> ''(Crying, in pain)''
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Put the knife down, Sarah. You don't need to do this. You've got- You have a lot to live for, Sarah. Sarah, you have a lot to live for. You have your-
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> You just keep saying the same thing, you-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> You have your family! You have your friends! You have your future! And also, I- Also, Sarah. I sent Cassie 23 samples of my locks of hair.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Why are you telling me this?? Why???
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Because, uh, I know- I know... from Cassie's promise, she will send you one of those locks.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> But that doesn't matter right now, why are you talking about this??
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Sigh, whiny)'' Sarah, I'm trying to make you feel better. I'm trying- I'm trying to help you.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> You... You... ''(Crying)''
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sarah... I'm sorry.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I'm gonna...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sarah, no, don't cut yourself any more.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I- I thought you understood us, I... I thought you understood the girls, you said you did...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I- I- I did understand... women. Well, maybe not- Maybe not to a full amount of knowledge, but I CARE, and I RESPECT all women's feelings, including yours, Sarah.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Then why did you lie to me? You lied to all of us, when you say you-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Sigh)''
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> You say you respect us, and I... You have to stop lying, Chris!
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sarah, I'm not lying now. ''(Sigh)''
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> How do I know that? You tell me you weren't lying before, and then you turn around and you... I... I don't- I have to...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Sigh)''
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I have to go.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, Sarah, Sarah. I was ready-
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I have to go, I have to go now, I can't take this anymore...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sarah.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I can't take this anymore...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sarah? I love you-
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I'm leaving right now, I can't-
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, Sarah.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> I can't take it...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sarah? I'll give you- I'll give you your space. You just calm- Just take your time. Just calm down.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> ''(Crying)''
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Don't cut or kill yourself.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> ''(Crying)''
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, don't- Don't cut or kill yourself.
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Well, I'm gonna do it right now.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No-
<br><font color="#FF0000">'''Sarah May:'''</font> Goodbye, Chris... Goodbye.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Sarah? I love you as a friend! ''(She's gone)'' Oh...
 
===The Five Stages of Grief (2:01:42 - END)===
<font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Chris? I'm sorry, Chris... I'm sorry.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> No, this is my fault.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> This... I'm sorry.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Sigh)'' I'm sorry too, Julie. I did- I made a promise I did not realize that I couldn't keep. And now I just made... things worse. I... Thought- At least- At least two or five times I said your name instead of Sarah's.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Chris, it's okay. We'll get throught this together, don't worry.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Y'know, Julie, it took me a long time- took me a long time to make the transition from... um, [[PandaHalo|Sarah/Panda]] to your- to you. 'Cause y'know, back then I... My- The first name that came into mind was- was hers, but... Still, I tried- Still, I worked HARD in shifting from that- from her to you. To devote myself to you. I- I do- Julie? I love you and a care about you a lot as a friend, and as my... girlfriend.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Chris?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Sarah May may be gone, but I...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Well at least I still have you.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Thank you.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> ''(Breathing)''
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> But, Chris?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah?
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> I'm still worried, she's probably dead I'm... worried about her. I... Chris?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, I'm worried too.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> I need to go and think.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah, me too.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> For a while...
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Me too.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> I might not be back for a week.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> I understand. Julie? I'm still looking forward to your letter, and I'll look forward to the next time we chat. And... ''Ich bin schwell'', Julie.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> Chris?
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> I think, at this time, maybe you should talk to [[Clyde]].
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Yeah. I un- I understand. We should talk to Clyde. If the home- If my home phone rings in the future, I'll be sure to answer it.
<br><font color="#CC00FF">'''Julie:'''</font> No, I think we should talk to him on Skype.
<br><font color="#0033FF">'''Chris:'''</font> Oh. Well, okay, let's... We can switch over to Skype then. Alright.
<br>''[The end. Bluespike sings and everyone in the chat is amazed by what just transpired.]




{{Transcription}}


{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 7|Mumble Chat 7]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 9|Mumble Chat 9]]|}}
{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 7|Mumble Chat 7]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 9|Mumble Chat 9]]|}}


==Links==
==Links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?tjm2miu1jjy Download]
* [https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBaWhzZ1NLXzF0dFE Download]


{{JulieSaga}}
{{FanChats}}
{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Latest revision as of 20:26, 4 January 2022

Mumble 8 is the eighth of the Mumble chats involving Chris, held on 17 February 2009.

Chris confirms he drank (recycled) his semen. There are discussions about lesbian sex, the homos (with awesome raging from GeckoMantis), and an Oscar-winning performance by Sarah May (RIP).

Summary

[15:40]

  • Chris on premarital sex with Julie: After you get here, we could talk to my pastor about it further.
  • Julie: I've said it many times. I discuss it in my letter.
  • Chris: I'm just sayin'. After you get here, we could talk to my pastor about it.

[17:00]

  • A troll suggests Chris looks for loopholes in everything to justify himself. Chris cuts him off.
  • Epic rage from the troll.
  • Chris asks for forgiveness and says everyone has a different interpretation of the Bible.
  • Troll calls him out on his homophobia. Chris says he's taken it back, so it's ok.

[24:00]

[42:20]

  • Chris confirms he drank (recycled) his semen.

[45:30]

  • Chris is willing to perform a threesome involving two men. Julie is willing to do it with Chris and Emily then.
  • It's not gay if balls aren't touching.
  • Chris wants them to engage in tribbing.

[47:20]

  • Sarah May thought Chris wanted her and Julie to have a threesome.
  • Since Chris asked Sarah first, she can have the first threesome with Julie.
  • Two women is Chris's limit.
  • Chris can't decide between Sarah and Julie

[51:50]

  • Both women can't get pregnant because Chris would wear a condom.
  • The trolls explain the concept of friends with benefits. This is just too much for Chris to take in right now.

[56:00]

  • The speed at which Chris produces his comic depends on how he is feeling.
  • Chris should be able to draw more, say trolls
  • Chris will try to get a page done a day.
  • Derrick explains stream of consciousness writing. Chris talks about storing shit in his memory, which is totally the opposite style.

[1:03:22]

  • The trolls ask Chris what Punchy's voice is like.
  • A voice actor joins the chat and does various impressions while Chris attempts to do some of his own.

[1:09:27]

  • The trolls ask Chris what his favorite comic book series is. Unsurprisingly, it's Sonic the Hedgehog.
  • Chris doesn't go to McDonald's often, "maybe two or three times a week."
  • Chris says he plays with all of the toys in his room.

[1:17:43]

[1:28:30]

  • Chris talks about Dating Education.
  • The trolls try to give Chris actual dating advice, but he ignores it.

[1:38:48]

  • Sarah May is so upset Chris called her Julie she attempts suicide.
  • Chris shrugs it off, saying he still has Julie.

Transcript

Introductions (00:00-00:39)


Guy: What's up?
Chris: Ahh, doin' okay, doin' okay. Got some stress, but I'm okay.
Mr. Roboto: Stress is bad.
Chris: Hm, haven't updated in a while-
Mr. Roboto: We enjoy the new- we enjoy the preview for the new comic.
Chris: Now, now just a, just a minor recent event that I won't go into, uh, it's just a minor inconvenience really. But it made me- mmm, basically in a nutshell my computer got turned off and I didn't turn it back on for a coupla days.
Mr. Roboto: That is terrible. It remind me of the time my mama had taken away my computer. Because I, I spent too much time on it. And she said "You spend too much time on computer!"
Chris: Huh. Goodness. Yeah. Yeah, but we don't have to go into that.
Julie: Hey Chris, there's something I forgot to ask.
Chris: Yeah?
Julie: Do you think you could do your Dona- your Donald Duck impersonation for me, please?
Mr. Roboto: He already did that before, didn't he?
Chris: [in his horrible Donald Duck voice] So ask me how was my day. What are we doin'? [quacks]
[Julie and others laugh]
Julie: Chris, how about, how about the- how about the Uncle Ruckus for everyone, please?
Chris: [equally horrible Uncle Ruckus voice] Don't trust them new niggers over there! Sing along if you know the words.
[pause]
Mr. Roboto: Um, I do not believe Ruckus ever says that. And I am from Russia, so I do not see much of the show though. [pause] Well, you should come see Russia, Chris. It is nice.
Chris: I'm sure it is.
Mr. Roboto: Yes. It is very- although we have high corruption in our government, we are fine people, and we work hard for our lives.
Chris: I do not disagree with you.
Mr. Roboto: Wait, you said that- are you saying that corruption is good thing?
Chris: No. I, I don't like corruption. I'm just saying that I agree, I agree with you on the fact that y'all are proud people. And respectable. [pause] Okay?
Guy: Like gays.
Chris: Hm. I guess, yeah.
Guy: [in camp gay voice] Obviously.
[pause]
Chris: Hm.
Guy: Chris, what's up?
Chris: Umm...a lot of things. Umm, lemme think...mmmmm...
Guy: I can't believe I'm talking to the real Christian Weston Chandler. It's mad.
Chris: Well, take a deep breath and accept it. 'Cause it's real.
Mr. Roboto: We love you, Chris. That is why we are impressed by the fact that you would do this for your fans.
Chris: Yep.
Guy: Accept no substitutions.
Guy: This is wicked awesome.
Chris: Yep. Accept no substitute. Hm.
Guy: Nothing but net.
Chris: Uhh, actually it's more like dot com, more like dot com now.
Julie: What did you say?
Guy: Nothing but dot com and [???]
Julie: Actually, what did you say a few minutes ago? I couldn't hear you.
Chris: Hm. Say a few minutes ago? I, what, when I was talking to the nice Russian guy?
Julie: Yeah.
Mr. Roboto: Yo.
Guy: I didn't know, actually-
Chris: I'm sorry, what?
[Julie and a guy talk at the same time]
Mr. Roboto: What did you say about me?
Chris: Uh, I said that you were a nice guy.
Mr. Roboto: No, I was tal- I'm- excuse me Chris, but what Bryan Bash was saying to me. I could not hear him.
Bryan Bash: Um, that's your username, isn't it? "Nice Russian Guy"?
Mr. Roboto: No, it is- no, it is Mr. Roboto. I enjoy the band Styx very much. We just get them here.
[Bryan laughs]
Chris: Okay, good. So-
Guy: Hello there, Chris. Sorry, I was having a bathroom break. [pause] And for the record, I love Styx too.
Mr. Roboto: Styx is good band.
Chris: I never heard Styx, but I will not disagree with you.
Guy: Um, have you ever heard the song "Come Sail Away"?
Chris: Um, I am afraid I have not heard that. Sorry.
Guy: Or "Renegade".
Chris: That one neither. I'm sorry.
[pause]
Guy: You've never heard "Mr. Roboto"? Dōmo arigatō, Mr. Roboto?
Chris: I've heard that used in cartoon shows, and other shows like that, other shows outside the cartoon.
Guy: Uhh-
Chris: I've heard the expression, but I've never heard the song. I didn't even know there was a song. So, um... just a minor ignorance because I did not know about it.
Guy: Oh, it's cool. Um, have you ever heard of the band Rush?
Chris: I've heard that, I've heard that band, yeah.
Guy: Rush is pretty awesome.
Julie: Chris, have you ever heard about Guns N' Roses?
Chris: Yeah, Guns N' Roses, that was, uh, Megan's favorite band.
Guy: I like Elton John, personally.
Guy: [interrupts previous guy] Speaking of Megan, whatever happened to her?
Mr. Roboto: You are gay for liking Elton John. In Russia, we beat up gays.
Guy: Dude. I like Elton John's music-
Mr. Roboto: [interrupts] You are also gay.
Guy: -I also like Boy George. Is that a problem?
Mr. Roboto: Boy George is homo.
Guy: Mr Roboto, how about you just leave!
Guy: Hey Chris man-
Mr. Roboto: Yeah. I am sorry. I apologize.
Guy: So uh, speaking of YouTube... Just to say that he is actually gay. So uh, you know...
Chris: Who are we talking about?
[long pause]
Guy: You know the uh- [sounds like "Never Gonna Give You Up"] -song...
Chris: Oh yeah. That was-
Guy: [interrupts] Yeah so that was- [unintelligible]
Mr. Roboto: He's not gay.
[pause]
Chris: Well I dunno, so... I will not pass judgment either way.
Guy: What do you mean by "pass judgment"?
Chris: I mean I would not call him a homo or st- or whatever.
[pause]
Guy: Why would you call him a homo anyway?
Mr. Roboto: Because it is right to ridicule the a- the gays.
Guy: Russia must be a very violent place.
Mr. Roboto: It is. You should come here.
Guy: You are a very intolent person.
Mr. Roboto: I am very tolerant. It is my culture.
Guy: Very much so...
Other Guy: Your culture is intolerant.
Mr. Roboto: It is not my fault my culture is like this. I apologize for nothing.
[Muffled]
Mr. Roboto: No. They killed communists.
Chris: Yep. That's what I heard.
Mr. Roboto: Heard what?
Chris: That Russia does not like communists. They-
Mr. Roboto: [Interrupts] Oh we like communists. But stupid fascists killed communism. I would like to see communism returned. It was a fun time.
Julie: I never really liked Russia.
Mr. Roboto: Well Russia doesn't really like you. I heard you were from- [unclear] -state Molvanîa
Guy: Chris what's your- [Yelling] Shh! Hey Chris what's your favorite Dragonball Z character?
Chris: Ok-
[Long pause]
Guy: I'm gonna guess Goku.
Chris: No.
Guy:He's got that "Goku go get 'em" attitude.
Other Guy: I liked Piccolo myself.
Chris: I like Gohan's girlfriend.
Other Guy: Oh, did you know that "Videl" [the name of Gohan's girlfriend] is the word Devil rearranged?
Chris: I'm sorry. It's just a name.
[Slightly unintelligible chatter about Dragonball Z]
Guy: Chris what do you feel about Satanists?
[Pause]
Chris: Um... Uh yeah. I am not fo- I am not fond of those people.
Guy: You know they don't actually worship the Devil?
Chris: Hmm. I see. But anyway I am not fon- I am not really fond of them.
Guy: I know one in college. A Satanist. He pretty much- They don't worship the Devil but instead they- [muffled by other people]
Other Guy: Chris, you know the Ten Commandments? [pause] Do you know the Ten Commandments Chris?
Chris: Yeah. I do.
Guy: [overlapping] -Can you recite them for us?
Chris: Uh, yeah.
Guy: [overlapping] In the order that they're supposed to be.
Chris: Yeah. Give me a minute. [Sound of Chris wandering off, knocking stuff over]
Julie: Chris I don't think you should leave- [unintelligible]
[pause]
[Something from Mr Roboto]
[pause]
Chris: Alright the uh- Ten Commandments. [clearly reading from his Bible] "Thou shalt have no other God before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any craven [sic] image. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord, thy God, in vain-"
Guy: [speaking over Chris] You are good at this...
Chris: "-Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Honor thy father and thy mother. Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not swea- bear false witness against thy neighbor and thou shalt not covet anything that is thy neighbors."
Guy: Uh we were kinda hoping you'd recite them off the top of your head.
[muffled]
Guy: -Ah it's been a while since i read it. Name the seven deadly sins.
Other Guy: [muffled] I dunno why he asked that...
[muffled. Something about sex before marriage. Various clicks from someone's computer]
Chris: Yeah-
Mr. Roboto: Yes. You are a whore if you have sex before marriage.
Julie: EXCUSE ME? What did you say?
Mr. Roboto: I said nothing, Molvanîan bitch.
Julie: EXCUSE ME?
Chris: Yeah I heard him. Go ahead and kick that guy out.
Guy: Ok he's kicked now...
Julie: [in a very boyish voice] Son of a bitch...
Guy: Seriously all the ones I know are- [muffled]
Guy: I think it's true also though, I think he's a closet homo. Seriously.
Chris: Well he's gone now, we don't have to worry about him anymore.
[people yelling over each other]
Guy: But he did bring up a good point. Isn't sex before marriage adultery? Isn't lusting after girls adultery?
Chris: [interrupting] Listen, listen, listen.
Guy: Ok I'm listening.
Chris: Ok. My pastoral counselor has told me herself that it's ok. As long as she and I love each other truly and very much.
Julie: Yes well Chris, well I [people talk over "her"] Let me finish!
Chris: Let her finish please.
Julie: Well in the Methodist I follow, there's no sex before marriage.
Chris: Wait, in the Methodist you follow?
Julie: Yeah, like in the way that you follow it, you're allowed to have sex before marriage, and [in the way] I follow it, you're not allowed to have sex before marriage.
Chris: Well it's um... Yeah...
Guy: Um, who do you think has a better interpretation of the Bible? Your counselor, or God?
Chris: Hmm. Well... The Bible can can be misinterpreted in a number of ways. Umm-
Julie: Chris, if I may? As of now, I don't have sex before marriage.
Guy: I thought it was pretty straightforward. I mean... Jesus said himself that if you look at a woman with lust you're basically, you're maintaining a pretty- [talked over by Julie]
Chris: Mmm. Julie we can talk about this further after you get here. We can talk to my- my uh- my pastor at my church about it further.
Julie: I've said it many times, I've discussed it in my letter. Chris: Yeah. But I'm just saying, that we can talk to my pastor about it. [muffled] Ah!
Guy:: You know we're all just trying to help you out man. Other Guy: We don't want you to go to hell. We don't want you to go to hell for having premarital sex [Chris interrupts]
Chris: God is forgiving.
Other Guy: Not on this planet.
Chris: Oh Jesus is forgiving.
Guy: Well What if...[interrupted]
Other Guy: So, it's ok to have sex out of marriage, but it's not ok to be gay, is that what you're saying?
Guy: He's definitely forgiving, but you know, if you... [distortion]
Chris: ...there are articles other than that.
Other Guy: Chris, you seem to always find try to justify yourself every time by adding loopholes to your Bible just so you can have premarital sex and everything and I don't fucking get it. You're trying to justify yourself for having a Playboy, and you're trying to justif…and you're always justif...[interrupted by Chris]
Chris: I AM NOT!
Other Guy: No! No! I'm not having a No! Fuck You! You're a fucking hypocritical douchebag!
Chris: Well sometimes I don't know everything, so excuse me…for that.
Other Guy: [unintelligible]
Chris: I will, listen, I will, listen, listen, I appreciate your help, but you know when it comes to religion I think, uh... our own individual interpretations of um, each of us individually is uh as is important to us so my interpretation... and, uh, y'alls interpretation which are respectable uh-
Guy: [interjects] Which are right!
Chris: ...are important
Other Guy: Okay, so Chris, uh, I just wanted to know, why so much hate against the gays, I mean if religion can be interpreted any way... [interrupted] ...seriously.
Chris: uh hmm. I... Okay well… Okay I'll take back all the times I said I hated the homos, but obviously when I said that I was uh under a whole bunch of stress, and I just felt most uncomfortable around them and men in general, so I guess I just picked the wrong word, so I apologize.
Guy: Um, this is just like the time where'd ya-ya-you trying to say that a whole lot of you said were made at times of stress but um, sooner or later you know that isn't it you know going to be like... you can't retract every every statement because you made it out of stress, you know.
Chris: I know I can't retract every one, but those I am able to retract, I can and will. [unintelligible]
Chris: I had a misunderstanding at that time.
Guy: You sure have a lot of stress. I'm just saying.
Chris: I had misunderstandings at the time that I said that. Well, I mean, I was in misunderstanding. I misunderstood, I misunderstood, and I said the wrong word to use in my feelings against, uh, them in general, so I retract it back, I retract the word "hate," and I would replace it with, like, you know, I will, I am willing to cope with them in person, and respect, and I will respect them and I will be friends, but you know, nothing beyond that.
Guy: I think you probably insulted a lot of them, the homosexual or bisexual people with that statement. Maybe you could make, like, a video, um, saying that you don't hate them.
Chris: Mm. Alright, I'll do that in a few, I'll do that in the near future, make a video retracting the hate.
Guy:Yeah, just say...yeah.
Chris: Yeah, alright, I'll do that in the near future.
Guy:[unclear] Well, by detracting the hate you get some of the needless violence out of the world, so that's good.
Chris: Right. OK. I'll do that in the near, I'll do that soon, then.
Guy:It's good of you to do that, Chris.
Chris: OK.
Guy: Chris, you said growing up you had mostly women friends?
Chris: Yes.
Guy: Most normal heterosexual men are able to form friendships with other heterosexual men. Uh, how do you explain [unclear]
Chris: Mmm...uhhhhmmm...I just didn't meet so many, I just did not have the opportunity to meet so many...men. So there. I just did not have the...
Guy: You know,there's tons of boys who like Transformers. And Sonic.
Chris: Yeah...I just, the opportunity never showed up so much. I mean as often as with the women. When I had the gal-pals in high school, for example, I didn't have that many opportunity to be friends or associate with that many...men, but you know I did have a few...guy buddies in high school, but that's, that's about it, basically, for that [unclear].
Guy: [unclear] characteristic of the homosexuals.
Chris: Wait, what? [static] Somebody just, uh, said something that I might, that I thought that, uh,...[stress sigh] OK, well look, I had guy, I had friends, I did have, uh, friends and acquaintances that were guys in my lifetime. I just had more female friends and acquaintances.
Guy: I think here that a lot of homosexual people and women are like in friendly relationships with homosexuals because they don't feel that threat because the homosexuals are gonna [?]
Chris: Uh, wait, what? Say that again?
Guy: Like, I heard that when, I heard that like women sometimes look at homosexuals as friends because, you know, they're not going to try to hit on the women.
Chris: Well, in my case I would figure that, you know, I was younger than they are, and of course I did not seem as threatening, and I was definitely most friendly, so they were friends with me because they realized that I was friendly. Than other guys. Yeah. Because I didn't, because I, because I did not realize the, uh, sex, I did not have the sexual, as many of the sexual urges back then as I did when I turned 21, at the beginning of that time and beyond.
Julie: [Sigh] So, Chris.
Chris: Yeah.
Julie: 18 CRH What was wrong with a guy dating an older woman?
Chris: I was old, I was, I had, I was, mm, you might say I'm old-fashioned in that, old-fashioned in that sense, but, uh, I just didn't, I just didn't, I just didn't want to feel like, uh, I was like the lower half of the factor there. I didn't feel like I was being overtaken or something like that. I don't know, maybe I'm choosing the wrong words right now, the wrong choice of words, but you know they're the ones that came to my head right now.
Guy: [question unclear]...pretty big rack?
Chris: Sorry, what?
Guy: Uh, uh, I'm not sure [] right that.
Chris: Uh, I think you said, uh, you, you, you were kind of a person that like big, big, big racks?
Guy: I'm the kind of a person who, I'm the kind of a person, you know, I wouldn't mind if she was a little bit older than me, because, you know, she might be a bit taller [?] looking for someone with a pretty nice-sized rack.
Chris: I look more for, more for, uh, the look on the, uh, insides, but consider...
Guy: I mean, of course that's a given, I mean, I'm not going to, I'm not going to get with somebody just based on that, but you know, but it's always a nice thing...
Guy #2: Um, Chris, I have a question. You say you, like, get based on something on the inside, then what's with the preference? You, I mean, you see stuff in your comics about how it has to be a certain, you know,...
Chris: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, could you start over and repeat that please?
Guy #2: You, your comics, you say they have to be a, like, certain type of person. They have to be, they can't be black or anything. They have to, you know, they can't be fat, they can't, you know, they can't be, um, yeah.
Chris: Well, OK, I admit, I, I admit, I admit, I was a little, I was uh, more, shoot, what's the word I'm looking for? [Guy: "Picky?"] Uh, yeah, yeah, I was, OK there you go, I was more picky back then, but then once I realized as I got older, and uh, to become less picky about, uh, about some of those details.
Guy: You had high standards back then, basically.
Chris: Yeah, that was, that was the word I was looking for, high standards, yeah.
Guy: Well, that's nice that you're a little bit more open now, hopefully you'll find the person that's your ideal.
Chris: Yeah, well...I'm sorry, go ahead.
Guy "2: Would you date a black girl now?
Chris: Um...
Julie: Are you insisting he should see another woman?
Trolls: No! [garbled]
Julie: Why not?
Chris: Yeah cause, yeah Julie and I are doing very well together. But you know...
Guys: Congratulations. Congratulations.
Chris: Ok, well, but just, uh, let me think about that, like you know, uh, OK, I am, I am, I am in love with Julie. She and I love each other very much.
Guy: But you barely know each other, I mean, you've never met...
Chris: We do, we have been... [fights to be heard] Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay. We talk to each other a lot about each other, getting to know each other very well.
Guy: Well that's different, I mean there's knowing somebody, and then there's knowing somebody. You know her based on the internet. I mean, she doesn't have to tell you, you know, the facts.
Guy #2: Or what she looks like.
Guy: You haven't seen her with your own eyes.
Chris: Uh, she told me, she did tell me the facts about what she looks like, and she was very honest with me. And I was... [interrupted]
Guy:...and on the internet, honesty really doesn't go that far. I mean...
Chris: [stress sigh]
Guy: What if this one turns out, like, the last time, there's no[]where something always ends up as a wedge between you two.
Chris: I have faced a lot of obstacles, and I have, uh, overtaken them at my own pace, and uh, if anything pops up between me and Julie I'm willing to overtake them as well.
Guy: It's just, I feel sorry for you man, you're always so close and something just makes it stop. I really wish you could find something [garbled].
Chris: [stress sigh] Well, things have been working well between me and Julie.
Guy #2: Well, from my personal experience, um, that always happens with internet relationships, like, long-distance relationships, they never really work out. But I [garbled].
Chris: I appreciate that.
Julie: Hey Chris, can I ask you a question?
Chris: Yes.
Julie: It's kind of unrelated, I'm sorry, but um, I ordered up a new section on the Luv Shack, what's the story with the PokeBoy and the PokeGirl Magazine?
Chris: Um...Yeah, you guys, on the Luv Shack, I created this section, of uh, of the fan art images for guys and images for gals. Yeah, but, you know, fan art [] on the internet, you know, I would put the boys in the gals' section and the girls in the guys' section.
Guy: You know, um, sorry. You don't mind drawing the guys?
Chris: Mmmmm... uh...Well there's, I'm still, I'm still in a bit of uh, I'm still having feelings, like, about that. I'm not comfortable with, like drawing them,...not drawing the Sonichus in that sense yet...
Guy: But you realize, you know you need a male for, you know, hanky-panky, right Chris?
Chris: Yeah, well, still, while I did draw, but I did draw Sonichu previously in that sense, I never would draw an uncensored...dick.
Guys: [garbled]
Guy #2:Are you willing to accept fan-art submissions for it? Like,[] after that?
Chris: Yeah.
Julie: Chris?
Chris: Yeah.
Julie: Well, for the fan-art section, for our gals, are you gonna put, like, all male ones, or are you gonna use [garbled]?
Chris: Um, I'm sorry, could you repeat that? All male ones or all female ones?
Julie: Are you only talking about like, the nude ones, or just all, like the one I drew, for instance?
Chris: Mm. Yeah, I guess I could mix up and do both. I mean, it's not like they have to, would have to be...nude. Uh... Yeah, well, I try to promote straightness.
Guy: So you could have it both.
Guy #2: I don't think there's a problem. I mean, doesn't he promote straightness?
Chris: [in medias res]...section for the gals that has mostly guy images, and the section for the guys would have mostly girl images.
Guy: Wait a second, mostly? Yeah, and wait a second, mostly? Mostly?
Chris: Well, if you could, uh, I would say mostly, because you know, I, between the two of them, I would like, uh, have, like, you know, if there was a guy and a guy [sic], uh, the Sonichu and the Rosechu doing it, then I would put that between both.
Guy: Chris, what are you going to do about guys clicking on the guys section?
Chris: Wait, wait, wait. Uh, I'm sorry, could you repeat that?
Guy: What about visitors who are guys who click on the guys section? Are you going to do something about that, like, put some sort of, one of your tests?
Chris: I'm sorry, I think you mean to say guys who click on the gals section.
Guy: No!
Guy #2 He said, guys who click on the guys section.
Guy: People do that. [Chris's dialogue cannot be heard] No, I don't mean confusing, I mean people intentionally doing that.
Guy #3: No, he's talking about faggots.
Guy: Exactly.
Guy #4: That is a very hurtful word and I would ask that you not use it.
Guy: Gay people then.
Chris: Yeah, you guys, I have never used that word. You'll never hear me use that word.
Guy #3: I didn't mean to use that word either, I'm sorry. Everybody's talking for me.
Chris: Yeah. But like, you know, I hear it, and it's like you know I can take it with a grain of salt.
Guy #2: [] who does click on that section and they're not straight.
Chris: So you're asking me, if a homo clicks on the guys' section and then finds out that it's uh, mostly female images.
Guys and Julie: [talking over each other trying to correct Chris's misunderstanding]
Chris: Eh, well, because I can't have the cat, I am unable to sort, sort that out, uh...
Guy: You could put like a test or something, like they have to, I don't know. Never mind.
Guy #2: You could put a, "Are you a guy, yes or no?"
Chris: [stress sigh]
Guy #3: I don't think it's that big of a deal.
Chris: Yeah, uh, yeah, yeah, I'm not gonna stress over it. If they wanna click on the gals, if the guys wanna click on the gals' section, and look at the guys in there, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna stress about it.
Guy #2: But I thought you were going to promote straightness.
Chris: Yeah exactly.
Guy #2: Why do you need to promote straightness, when you don't have a []in the first place.
Chris: Hm.
Guy #2: I mean, people are usually born, you know, with a certain preference.
Chris: Yeah, I I I, I have heard that. I have heard of that. I have heard of that. Yeah, if you remember, remember that American Dad episode where Stannis [?] goes to the RNC, but then he's like one of the gay guys.
Chris: Yeah, I've seen that episode, and uh, didn't much particularly care much for that detail in that sense.
Guy #2: Yeah, but, in the end, it's almost teaching people that people are born gay, they don't just turn gay.
Chris: [stress sigh]
Guy #2: Chris, listen to me for a second. What we're trying to do point out is that your dislike for gay people is almost like people disliking you for being autistic. It's uh, you were born autistic, right? It's not something that you can help. When somebody is born gay it's not something they can help. It's outside of their control. So any form of, you know, uh, disregard for them as a person is really, it's really unfair, man.
Chris: Hmmm...
Guy #3: Chris wasn't born autistic. He became autistic when the babysitter put him in the closet. He told us about it before.
Chris: No, I was, I was born autistic, but the babysitter who locked me used that room to bring it out.
Guy: I can understand that that might have been a traumatic experience that aggravated the condition maybe, but you still have to accept that that condition was inherent in your makeup from the beginning, right? It was an inherent factor.
Guy #2: We don't want you to hurt people the way that people have hurt you.
Chris: Yeah, but, but, yeah but, also let me point out that I have taken the tests in my lifetime that prove whether I was autistic or not. And they've showed positive for autism. I mean, between taking a test in my young life, and during my teenage years, and in my...
Guy: High-functioning labels aren't used anymore.
Guy #2: If you only had high-functioning autism, and we [audio garbled]
Guy #3: ...it's united like ADHD, it's uh,
Chris: ADHD is uh, is different from autism. That's uh...
Guy #3: Not really, I mean, I had, uh, problems in school, so I had, you know, developmental difficulty, I had trouble focusing, and I had uh, trouble, you know, getting along with others. [people talk over each other]
Chris: Stop. I have a question. The, uh, you said it was ADH...C?
Guy #3: D!
Chris: OK, so I know it's, uh, Attention Deficit and Disorder but [Guys: "Hyperactive."] Oh, hyperactive. OK. I just wanted to know, I just wanted to know what the H stood for.
[garbled]
Guy #3: I also don't like to be defined by my, uh, my, my disability. It's, I don't really see it as a disability because I, it doesn't factor that much into my life, you know. I don't blame myself, I don't blame things on it, I, I just try and improve myself as I go along. You know, like uh, you know, like if I can't pay attention then I'll work harder on paying attention, and eventually I'll get to a point where I can pay attention.
Chris: [Chris is distracted by something.] Excuse me.
Guy: It's just another hurdle to jump over.
Guy: Wait, model's here [?].
Chris: Alright. Oh shoot. Hang on, I'll be right back. I'll go ahead and do one thing about it, um,[] my glasses broke. I'll be right back. Hello? [He seems to be talking on the phone. Nothing consequential happens for two minutes]




CWCism-IllBreakYouDead.png  This media needs a transcript. Help CWCki by transcribing the content. If the media is too long, transcribe select portions which are funny or informative.

Recycling (42:20 - 44:18)

Chris: [Returning after being away for a while] Hmmm.
Guy 1: Welcome back.
Chris: Yep.
Guy 2: What was that about, Chris?
Chris: Yep.
Guy 2: What was that all about, Chris?
Chris: I just had to- My Mom asked me to uh, go take her clothes out of the washing machine and put them in the dryer.
Guy 2: [something]
Chris: Okay, yeah.
Guy 1: Uh, Chris, I have a question, actually.
Chris: Yeah.
Guy 1: I have this friend... I think he- It's a different friend, I think he might be gay.
Chris: Wow.
Guy 1: He uh... After he's done masturbating he drinks his own semen, is that gay?
Chris: Uhhhhh, no. I don't think s- I don't think so, because, uh... I've done that, it's called "recycling" it.
Guy 2: Guys-
Guy 1: Wait, let him answer.
Chris: Yeah, it's basically recycling, it's like uh, he doesn't necessarily have to lost it... Because you know, you think of it waste if you- If you banged it out... And then you uh, and then you put- It's like you flush it down the commode or leave it in the uh, condom and put it in the garbage can.
Guy 2: But isn't it burned up by stomach acid?
Guy 3: Yeah, it-
Chris: Well, yeah- Yeah, yeah, yeah, but... STILL. Still, it's good for the new sperm cells. And plus there's also- Plus I've learned on the Internet that there's... There's vitamins in the- In the sperm cells, as well. So like, it's like basically you're helping yourself when you do that.
Guy 1: That's interesting. I hear that the-
Chris: Although- Although personally I've kind of gotten sick of, uh... Swallowing my own. So like, you know... So, lately I've just been disposing of them.
Julie: Umm-
Chris: I mean it just depends on your own individual tastes. Uh, yes, Julie?

First Dibs on the Threesome Act (44:18 - 53:20)

Julie: Well I heard somebody say "Hi Chris", it sounded like a female, who was it?
Chris: I don't know, I wasn't paying attention.
Emily: Oh, that was me... My name's Emily.
Chris: Oh. Hi, Emily.
Emily: I really like your comics.
Chris: Thank you. (Pause) Thank you very much.
Emily: I don't understand why you're still single, honestly.
Chris: Tell me about it.
Julie: But, Chris, you're-
Chris: Oh right, but I am in love with, uh, Julie... right there, who just spoke just now. But...
Emily: Oh, she sounds like she's really pretty.
Chris: Hey, take that as a compliment Julie.
Julie: Thank you.
Emily: Maybe we can have a threesome.
Chris: (shocked/happy) Oh wow!
Julie: But-
Chris: I'm sorry, go ahead, Julie.
Julie: well, Chris has stated before that he does not want a threesome with two men.
Chris: Well I will- Actually, Julie, I gave it some thought. And I am willing to do that for you. If you wanna do it with another- If you wanna do a threesome with uh, two guys... As long as, uh, I'm one of them... Uh, I'm okay with that. I've come to accept it.
Julie: Alright, I guess... I'll accept a threesome with two women.
Chris: Well- You hear that, Emily? After Julie and I have done it a few times we can invite you.
Emily: That'd be really cool! I mean we can go shopping at a sex store beforehand.
Guy 1: You said with two guys?
Chris: Uh... yeah.
Guy 1: Isn't that gay?
Chris: Uhhhhmmm...
Guy 2: Not if balls aren't touching. They say it's not gay if all balls are not touching.
Chris: Yeah I'm-
Guy 2: Ball separation is key, guys. Ball separation is key.
Chris: Yeah. Uh, you hear- You hear that, Julie? That's uh... an official for us in that sense.
Julie: Chris, wouldn't you like to be-
Guy 1: Well you know what I say- (Talking over each other)
Chris: Hang on. Julie, say that again please?
Julie: Well, when we do have a threesome with two women, what would you like me and Miss Emily to do?
Chris: (Takes a deep breath, excited) Wow. I guess I'll put it out in the open, because I thought I'd told you before, Julie, but um... You know I-
Julie: [something]
Chris: Okay, well, you know like how, uh, lesbians do like a scissor thing? Uh, yeah-
Guy 2: You mean like "tribbing".
Chris: I'm sorry, what was that?
Guy 2: You mean tribbing. Yeah, that's the actual term.
Chris: Okay, well... While two girls are tribbing, I put my dick between the two... Just- Between the two pussies. (Awkward pause)
Emily: I think that would be really hot.
Guy 2: Seems kind of uncomfortable.
Emily: It's actually not, I've done it before.
Guy 2: Ooooh!
Sarah May: Um, Chris, it's me, it's Sarah May.
Chris: Hi, Sarah.
Sarah May: I thought you were waiting for me and Julie to have a threesome.
Chris: Oh-
Sarah May: I thought it was gonna be special.
Chris: Oh. Well-
Emily: There can be four now!
Chris: Heh... Or, uh, you know- Or Sarah, since, you know, I asked you first, we'll let you... We'll let you come over before Emily.
Sarah May: But... I wanted it to be special, y'know, but...
Chris: It- It can be special, Sarah. It can be.
Sarah May: Okay... I'm really upset right now, I feel like you don't care about me.
Chris: Sarah, I do care about you. I'm sorry I upset you.
Sarah May: ...Thank you, Chris.
Chris: But-
Guy 1: So how many men would you do it with?
Chris: Uh... I'd... I think, uh... Yeah I think, uh, two women is my limit. So like, you know... Just have to do it one at a time, but Sarah calls first dibs on the threesome act.
Sarah May: I don't really want this to be like a "First come, first served" type of thing, though. I want to know that you actually have feelings for me and Julie.
Chris: Well... I do have strong feelings for Julie more, but I have... strong enough feelings for you too, Sarah.
Guy 1: Are you into Polygamy?
Chris: Sorry, what?
Guy: Uh... Polygamy, it's like having more than one partner.
Chris: Uh, I think you're talking about be married to more than one women. No, no...
Guy 2: Hey, so Chris, so we're obviously, uh-
Guy 1: I mean Polyamory.
Guy 2: Yeah, Polyamory.
Guy 1: Polyamory.
Chris: Yeah well anyway that- Anyway, that refers to married to more than one women, being married. Not, uh, getting with- Not getting- Not, uh, not having sex, basically.
Guy 3: Wait, doesn't this go back to the whole "sex before marriage" part-
Chris: Uh, NO-NO-NO-No-No, let's not got into that now, let's not get into that again.
Guy 1: I mean like... Having multiple partners. Like, in multiple relationships.
Guy 2: Wait, didn't you say that as long as you truly love the person you can have sex before marriage, but do you truly- Are you saying you truly love all these girls that you just met?
Chris: Hmm. Uh. Uhhhhhh... Right.
Guy 4: Oh, hey! Hey, Chris.
Guy 1: Let him talk.
Chris: Uhm... Tryin'... Mm. Hmmm.
Sarah May: Chris, why are you taking- [someone else talks over her]
Chris: I'm trying, I'm thinking!
Sarah May: -taking a long time.
Chris: I'm sorry, I'm thinking, I'm thinking. I dunno... Mmm.
Sarah May: I just wanna know that you love me. Do you?
Chris: Sarah May, I love you at least as a friend. And, uh... And I love Julie, as my girlfriend... And, uh, you know, if Julie hadn't, uh, hadn't uh- No, no, I'm sorry, I take that- beginning of that statement back, um... But anyway, um... I do love you very much-
Guy: So you love Sarah as a friend?
Chris: No, I'm saying I love Julie as a friend AND as a girlfriend, but I love Sarah May as a friend. And I would love for her to... take part with me and Julie in a threesome in the future.
Guy 1: You'll have sex with your friends, though? That's kinda wrong.
Chris: No, that's not- NO NO NO NO NO, that's not necessarily wrong, because if you want the relationship... to uh, go well, you should start off by being friends.
Guy: Chris, usually that stuff just leads to like, awkwardness, I mean obviously you're kind of... prone to that, it's not because of you, it just happens because let's face it, you haven't had the best luck here, it's not your fault, you're a great guy, it just happened, but let's face it, you need all the help you can get.
Chris: I- I- I appreciate your help. I appreciate your help.
Guy 1: I personally think that you should just stick to one woman.
Chris: Yeah, but, you know, sometimes, in a... relationship, that's... That's one way the couple can, uh, spice it up, make it more exciting, to re-ignite the spark. You know-
Guy 1: So uh, what if you do that and you get both women pregnant?
Guy 2: But you, I thought you-
Guy 1: Wait, let him talk.
Chris: (Pause) Uh...
Guy 1: Because that's happened before, I-
Chris: I would- I would be- I would wear a condom.
Guy 1: What if it breaks?
Julie: [something]
Chris: (Mildly shocked) Did you just say that this turns you on, Julie?
Julie: No, condoms kinda turn me off.
Chris: Oh.
Guy 3: Also, Chris, both of my younger cousins were both born, not only from condoms but [something] I think you'll have to take that into consideration, it-
Chris: Well- Hey- Well, still- Better off at least... the- At least having the protection.
Guy 1: I know but I'm just saying like, you wanna have a baby be born like-
Chris: And plus- And plus, if the first one breaks, I can always change- I can always switch it for another one.
Guy 1: I'm just saying, threesomes are risky, I mean what if you... I mean, you don't wanna have two children born from different mothers. (Awkward pause) Okay, uh-
Guy 2: Also, how would you-
Guy 1: Ah, we're over this, already, I'm talking about something else.
Guy 2: Alright, sorry buddy.

Stress (53:20 - 1:03:22)

Chris: Well anyway, I- Well anyway, final point, uh... Sarah, you called for- Sarah, I will let you, uh, be the first to, uh, join me and Julie in a threesome.
Sarah May: I appreciate that, but I... I just, you know I don't wanna be like, the first of MANY, I want it to be special. I kind of accept, but... Your [something]
Chris: Uh, Sarah?
Sarah May: -it's perfectly okay to have sex with her.
Chris: Um... Yeah, you're right. I apologize. Sarah, it can be very special, and I am willing to make it as special as possible when it happens. (Long pause) Hang on a second, I got something else that I'm doing here. Mmm. (Typing)
Guy: Well, what I've noticed is there's like different- Seems like Chris has an old case of Friends With Benefits.
Chris: A- Wait, what?
Guy: Friends With Benefits, it's like, you have your girlfriend, and um, Friends With Benefits is like you're friends with somebody but you can still have sex with them. I used to do that back in my earlier twenties, but... I wouldn't really reccoment it because it really gets complicated.
Guy 2: Yeah that's what I was talking about earlier you guys, it starts out as Fuck Buddies, and a-
Chris: (Loud Stress Sigh)
Guy 2: -high percentage only leads to things getting awkward and kinda tangled up, it just-
Chris: I hear you, I need to take my- This is just a lot for me- For my mind to take in right now.
Guy: Oh, sorry, um... Also, I'm a cartoonist. I read your webcomic, it's pretty good and stuff.
Chris: Thank you.
Guy: Uh- [Audio messed up for 20 seconds] -I was wondering like, how long does it take for you to draw a page? I can crank out a page, three to four pages per day.
Chris: Hmm. (Stressed) Well it depends on how I'm feeling and what my mood is. I mean, I- It's like I could probably do like, about, your amount, or better possibly, I'm not saying totally, or fully with confidence, but uh... But you know, it just- it depends on how I'm feeling. It's like you know, when some- I have lot of things that get me down. And... And get me emotionally down. And uh, I have things that get me emotionally up and, feeling like a yo-yo, it just uh... gives me a dizzy feeling, it's like... I don't know. Just makes me feel uncomfortable and it's like, uh... Doesn't really get me into drawing that much there.
Guy: Uh... But see, the thing is, I've heard about your personal life and stuff. I heard that you're um, unemployed...
[Audio is messed from 56:57 - 1:00:57. Eventually this one guy's voice can be heard. Apparently they're debating the pronunciation of "CWC".]
Cwuck Guy: Actually, without vowels it's more of a "cwuck". [Chris talks] "Cwuh-UH-Ck." [Chris talks] No, no, Chris. A "C" makes a "Cuh" sound, and the "W" makes a "Wuh" sound, so it's "Cwuck". [somebody else says something] I didn't say "Quack", I said "Cwuck." I'm just trying to pronounce the three consonants. [somebody says something] I haven't pronounced it any different, I'm saying "Cwuck". "Cuh-Wuh-Ck." [Chris and others talk for a few seconds] You know what, you know what Chris it might actually be a good idea to put an explanation into the comics for people who aren't in this chat.
[Audio finally returns to normal at 1:03:22]
Chris: -four eyes.

Impressions (1:03:22 - 1:09:27)

[Various people talk over each other, apparently they were talking about Punchy Sonichu]
Chris: Alright well, excuse me, I misunderstood that. Well anyway, it's just a characteristic about Punchy.
Guy: Chris, I'm sure [something about China, the country]
Guy: I'm just easily offended by things I see, and uh... You know, stereotypical- Like, last night we were reading it and some of us- Who was doing the voice of Punchy? I think it might be nice to have Chris listen. [Says whatever the dude's name is], was that you?
Voice Actor: Yeah, I was doing it.
Guy: Hey, could you show Chris your Punchy voice?
Voice Actor: Okay, give me a line for Punchy to say.
Chris: Umm...
Guy 2: "If I see that pickle one more tiiime!"
Guy 3: "Wax on, wax off."
Voice Actor: (Punchy voice) "Wax on, wax off."
Chris: That's it?
Voice Actor: (Punchy voice) "[Something] and all my Sonichu Friends!"
Chris: Hmm...
Guy: That's bad, that's racist, man.
Chris: Yeah-
Guy 1: In the comic it says he's a martial artist, like...
Chris: Alright, well, for the record, that's not what Punchy would sound like. But, you know, for a reference, Punchy would definitely sound more like... The guy who actually did the voice of Knuckles in the animation.
Guy 1: Oh, okay...
Guy 2: So he's basically just Knuckles.
Guy 3: Yeah.
Chris: No- No no no no, not bas- He's not basically Knuckles, I'm just saying that his voice would SOUND like knuckles. [Everybody talks over each other]
Guy 2: Well, he's got the same eyes as Knuckles, he's got the... like, the knuckle-duster things. And, y'know, he's being voiced by the same person as Knuckles-
Chris: NO, not necessarily the same PERSON. Not necessarily the same person, but... Sounding similar. But not exactly-
Guy: So essentially somebody doing the Knuckles voice. Some guy, who isn't the voice actor for Knuckles, doing the exact same voice for Punchy.
Guy 2: [says something about someone named YouTubeLover]
Guy: YouTubeLover asked, what was Rosechu's favorite food?
Chris: Hmmm... Italian.
Awesome Guy: Pickles.
Chris: NO. Kick that guy out.
Meatwad: Who do I kick? I did not see who it was who spoke.
Guy 2: Oh, it would appear we have the voice of Meatwad here.
Guy 3: No, you do not.
Guy 1: Okay...
Chris: That's funny. Just sounded like Meatwad there.
Guy: Yeah, sorry. [says something about doing voices].
Chris: I- I can do- I can do it a little bit better. Listen-
Meatwad: "Go out and zap it to the extreme!!"
Chris: [Does Meatwad impression. I have no idea what he says.]
Guy: Um, I'd say his was better, Chris.
Meatwad: Yeah! [Says something else, his impression is as hard to understand as Chris's]
Guy 2: I think Chris's is better.
Guy 3: Nah, I like his.
Voice Actor: I can do a pretty good Carl.
Guy: Oh, come on, let's go.
Voice Actor: [Does awesome Carl impression] "Hey, come back ovah here! You haven't even messed up my house yet!" [says something else as Carl but people laugh over it]
Guy: Hey, has anybody seen Metalocalypse?
Guy 2: Yeah, I have.
[Several people do impressions of Metalocalypse characters and talk over each other]
Guy 1: Guys, guys, shut up. Let Chris do it.
Chris: You want me to do Carl?
Guy 1: Sorry, I had to mute everybody to give you a chance to talk.
Chris: Okay, so you want me to do Carl. Just for the record, you want me to do Carl.
Guy: Yeah.
Chris: Alright, let me see, um... (Does his "Carl impression") "Gonna get it on tonight! We're gonna have ourselves a big ol' piece a meat there! Hey, Cup. Your- Your ass is cashing me. You're cashing a check. You're writing up a check that your cash- That your ass can't cash."
Guy: Heh heh heh. That was pretty good!
Emily: That was really good.
Chris: (Still as "Carl") "We gonna get it on tonight! Getting it on tonight!"
Guy: It's like I'm watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
Guy 2: Chris, can you do any of the voices from Metalocalypse?
Chris: (Pause) Uh...
[Someone does an impression of Nathan Explosion. Hard to tell if it's Chris or not.]
Guy: Uh, I think that was pretty lame, I know what the voice sounds like, and no. That's just not it.
Guy 2: Chris, can you do Dr. Rockzo?
Guy 3: Yeah, can you do Dr. Rockzo?
Chris: "I AM DR. ROCKZO, THE ROCK AND ROLL CLOWN! I DO COCAINE!!!"
Dr. Rockzo: Y-y-y-y-YEAH!
Guy: Nice.
Dr. Rockzo: Yeaaah!!

Comics and Toys (1:09:27 - 1:17:43)

Guy: So, um, Chris. I'd like to have a friendly challenge with you. Seeing as how we're both artists and we're pretty much, um... We're pretty much both, um... artists. I'd like to- You know how you say you do a page a day?
Chris: Uhhh, yeah?
Guy: Alright, well, I'd like to do a week challenge. Starting on Monday, you know-
Chris: Monday next week.
Guy: Yeah, starting Monday next week, we will each challege to draw one page of whatever comic you wish, like you can do Sonichu, and we have to do something entirely new per week, from Monday until that Sunday, so it'll be seven days, seven page comic per day. I was wondering if you wanna do that challenge with me?
Chris: Alright, that sounds... That sounds cool.
Guy: Okay. Also, um... Let me re-post something. I did a portrait of my girlfriend, if you wanna see. Hold on.
Chris: Alright, I'll take a look. I mean, uh... I would relate.
Guy: Alright, it should be to your left.
Chris: Yeah I see it. Let me just copy and paste that.
Guy: Okay.
Chris: To my web browser.
Guy: I'm going to draw a small seven-page comic featuring Mr. Skittles. Also, to be fair, it doesn't have to be colored, it can be black and white, if you wish, because it just some people take their time with their work, but... It's just seven pages of new material a week.
Chris: Alright. Hey, that's a good drawing, by the way, of your girlfriend.
Guy: Thank you. Took me about five hours to work on.
Chris: Okay. Hey, is she actually blowing through a bubble wand, 'cause it's kinda hard to see the handle.
Guy: Oh yeah, she's blowing through a bubble wand, she loves to blow bubbles.
Chris: Oh, that's sweet. Hey Julie, you should take a look at this.
Julie: Hmm? Oh, that's pretty good.
Guy: Chris, next time you come to Mumble, I'll try and show you a sketch of Mr. Skittles next time.
Chris: Okay. You know you could upload your images onto this image hosting site I know, hang on I got it bookmarked, um...
Guy: Okay.
Chris: Uh... Oh yeah, DeviantArt.
Guy: Oh, okay.
Chris: Yeah, you can upload there.
Laugher: Ha ha ha ha ha.
Guy 2: ...That was a great laugh, can you do that again? (Pause) Yeah, I thought not.
Guy: Hey, Chris, what do you think about more contemporary- Well, not exactly comtemporary, but uh, some of the more famous graphic novels from The West, we're talking stuff by Alan Moore and Neil Gaiman, like uh, you heard of any of that?
Chris: Uh, I never heard of those.
Guy: The Watchmen? You know, the most celebrated graphic novel of all time...
Chris: I- Hey. I have heard of Watchmen. As a matter of fact, I know of the uh... They got season 1 of the uh, the web- Of the uh, animated comic of that on the PlayStation Network. So I have heard of Watchmen. I thought- I wasn't sure- Is there actually a character who looks like Batman in that series?
Guy: Uh, you're thinking of Nite Owl, and um... The whole thing is that Watchmen is supposed to be a spoof of the Golden Age comics, and Nite Owl is supposed to be a spoof of the techno genius archetype of superhero who uses his wealth and technology.
Chris: Oh, so he is like Batman, and such.
Guy 1: It's like a parody.
Chris: Oh.
Guy 2: Yeah. My personal favorite's always been Rorschach.
Chris: I don't know, I haven't seen Watchmen yet.
Guy: Well, it was originally a graphic novel.
Chris: Well, seen, or uh... have it, yet.
Guy: And I doubt the movie's going to be very good, they usually screw up the movies, and seeing as how the guy who directed 300 is doing it, I think it's just gonna be a overdone pile of garbage.
Guy 2: Alright sorry, I had to let my dog out, he was scratching in the dark. Um, the thing is that Zack Snyder he's good at certain types of movies, and I'm not sure that Watchmen is really his-
Chris: Well. I'm not saying that I'm necessarily gonna be watching the movie... But, you know, because I hear good talk, I may consider downloading a... episode or two of the Watchmen animated comic. On the PlayStation Network.
[something about how it's not animated and it's going to be on DVD soon]
Chris: Oh.
Guy: Hey Chris.
Chris: Yeah.
Guy: I actually wanted to ask you a question, uh... Since we're talking about comic books and graphic novels and everything, do you read any comic books, do you have a favorite comic book at all?
Chris: Yeah, Sonic the Hedgehog series. From Archie Comics, I have the premiere issue zero, that where I based the uh, number zero comic book, based on the number there.
Guy 2: Oh my god, me too, I have issue number zero too!
Guy: Actually, Chris, I have another question from, um, a fan. How often do you eat at McDonald's? Uh, when do you go there?
Chris: Uh, not very often, I'd say like, uh... You know, two or three times a week.
Guy: Any specific times?
Chris: Uh, not specifically, it just depends on how I feel.
Guy: Right.
Guy 1: What about the Happy Meal, do you still get those?
Chris: Uh... No. I used to, but I don't nowadays.
Guy: What about the toys, I mean you can still buy the toys separately from the Happy Meals.
Chris: Yeah... But I don't need necessarily now to collect the toys... But it's not like I, uh- It's been a long time since I actually bought a toy by itself from McDonald's or Burger King. (Pause) Yeah, so like I said, that's uh... I haven't done that in a long time.
Guy 1: Oh... Are most of the toys in your room from past... like, you collected?
Chris: Uh... Yeah, most of which.
Guy 1: So you don't buy toys, like, recently?
Chris: Well I mean I buy like- I bought, like... Transformer toys, recently.
Guy: I have another question from a fan, uh... YouTubeLover was saying, you have so many toys, so when do you play with them? Or, do you play with them?
Chris: Yeah, I play with them sometimes. You know just to at least, change them from robot, to vehicle, to robot and back, and back. Hm... It's kinda like, uh, one way to, uh, put my mind off something else, or relieve stress events, it just- (Suddenly getting defensive about it) I don't care- I don't care, it's like, you know, people are young at heart, and I consider myself young at heart, so there.
Guy: Oh, well that's okay, I mean I built my Gundamn models and stuff, so it's cool, man.
Guy 2: Which grade do you build?
Guy: What?
Guy 2: Which grade do you build?
Guy: Oh, I have all the grades, I have like everything.
Guy 2: I only do like... first grade-
Guy: Anyway, let Chris talk.
Chris: No that's okay, you all continue, 'cause I don't have anything to contribute to the conversation.
Guy: Well Chris, we want to hear stuff straight from you.
Chris: I mean, I... don't particularly have any Gundam models myself. So, I wouldn't- So, I can't really say. Myself.
Guy: But still, you do have toys, right, I'm just saying that's cool.
Chris: I mean, it's alright, I don't mind other conversations besides from ones around me. I mean let's all talk-
Guy: Yeah but you're here and essentially... You don't really come here much.

Duck Tales (1:17:43 - 1:28:30)

Emily: Hey, Chris, I have another question for you.
Chris: Yeah?
Emily: Would you ever get your... duck pierced, if your sweetheart thought it would be really hot and it would improve your sex life?
Chris: Uhhhhhh... I'm sorry could you repeat that question again, my "duck pier"?
Emily: Your duck pierced, you know, your...
Chris: Ohh! Oh, right, oh. I would never have- I do not have a piercing-
Guy: Prince Albert.
Emily: No but would you do it, because, I mean-
Chris: No.
Emily: It can increase the pleasure.
Chris: No, uh... Even that considering, I still would not get any piercings.
Guy 1: Yo, what's a "duck"?
Chris: It's an- It's a- It stand- It's like, replacing the "I" with a "U" in the word "dick".
Guy 2: So it's a euphemism. (Pause)
Chris: It's just another word I made up, another word for dick, but without saying "dick". It's-
Guy 2: Do you know what a euphemism is?
Guy 3: Okay, it's called a euphemism.
Chris: "Euphemism"...
Guy: It's basically another word for saying a nicer word for something that-
Chris: Yeah.
Guy 1: I understand, I understand.
Chris: Yeah.
Guy: And you spell it Y-O-O-P-H-I-M-E-S-M.
Chris: Yeah- Uh, excuse me, I'll be right back.
[Silence for a few seconds]
Guy 1: Seriously guys, we-
Chris: (In the background) Kittyyyyy... (More silence) No kitty! Outta the kitchen. Shoo! Shoo-shoo! (More silence for a while, some rustling and breathing heard)
Guy 1: Are you okay?
[More silence]
Guy 2: Hey Chris, I have a question here from a fan.
Guy 1: Wait for him to get back first.
Guy 2: Oh, I thought he was back.
Guy 1: He's feeding the kitty.
Guy 2: I like cats, they're very cute.
[Some more talking about cats]
Guy 1: Okay, quiet.
[Sound of water running or something, more rustling. A long period of silence. More water running. Chris can be heard talking to the cats a few times.]
Julie: Chris? Hello? (Chris sighs in the background) Chris?
Chris: Uh, hang on, I'll just put my headphones back on. Yeah, I'm back.
Julie: Hey Chris, can I ask you something?
Chris: Yes, Julie.
Julie: Um...
Chris: It's okay, what is it?
Julie: It's about... You know, uh...
Chris: Uh, is it sexual?
Julie: Kind of.
Chris: It's okay.
Julie: It's about... Down there.
Chris: I'm sorry, what?
Julie: It's about down there, your... duck?
Chris: Oh, it's okay. I don't mind talking about it, what is it?
Julie: Is it really... Naturally bent, I- I know it [something]
Chris: Is it actually what?
Julie: Tell me about why your duck is bent, please.
Chris: Oh. Oh, bent. Yeah. I- I did- It's... It's- It's natural, it's natural, toward- Toward the end, it has a downward bend. It's downward. Uh, it-
Julie: Chris, I'm a doctor. I've never heard in my life anything like that.
Chris: You're a doctor?
Julie: I want to be one and I'm studying up on it, remember?
Chris: Oh. Hmm... Actually I don't remember you telling me that, so that's news to me.
Julie: It was like one of the first things I sent you. How do you not remember?
Chris: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Julie, I forgot that one, but yeah- That's right, yeah, you did tell me about that. Sorry about that. Well anyway, you are studying to be a doctor.
Julie: Yes, and never in my life have I heard that it... Chris, was it- Was it a penis pump? It's okay if it was, I just want you to tell me the truth.
Chris: Uh... Well, actually, um... Well, I don't- Okay, I don't know why it's bent downward, I just assumed it was natural.
Julie: You must have done something, come on.
Chris: Well... Maybe because I've been wearing briefs- I've been wearing briefs all my life, and that could've, uh, forced it to be bent downward when it gets... stiff.
Julie: But, Chris-
Chris: I dunno! I don't but- I don't know-
Julie: Chris, have you ever used a penis pump?
Chris: A- a- a pump?
Julie: Yes.
Chris: Uh... Yes, I have. (Pause) Well, but- but my- My penis was already bent downward BEFORE I used the pump. It was already bent downward.
Julie: What about the Viagra?
Chris: I never took Viagra.
Julie: You told me you did, didn't you?
Chris: No, I took- For the record, I did not take Viagra, I took Extenze.
Julie: Oh right, right.
Chris: And my- My... dick was bent downward before I took that as well.
Julie: Oh. Can I ask you a question about that?
Chris: Uh, sure.
Julie: Did you take Extenze and use a penis pump so you could try and impress women, maybe?
Chris: Uh, did you say if I could- Are you asking me if I could do that?
Julie: No, why did you use the pump and the Extenze?
Chris: Oh, I did not do it the same time, for your- for your information.
Julie: I know but why would you use them at all?
Chris: Well, I felt like my dick could be longer.
Julie: (Pause) Oh, alright. I'm just asking, I'm sorry.
Chris: It's okay.
Guy: Yeah, those don't actually work, they can actually cause damage to your penis.
Chris: What, the pump?
Guy 1: Yes.
Guy 2: Yes, and also most women do not care about like...
Guy 1: Hold on.
Chris: Well, for the record, mine does grow up to a maxium of seven inches.
[People talking over each other, somebody asks about measuring]
Chris: Hm... Well-
Guy: You could use a tape measure.
Chris: I used a- I used a ruler. You know I-
Guy: Oh.
Chris: Yeah, I based it against the uh, bent part. Make it straight. So, it does go a maxium of seven inches in length.
Guy: Yeah my dad was a doctor, he always told me to stay away from those things.
Chris: Well anyway, you know, that measurement was- That measurement was made AFTER the, uh... Extenze. (Pause) You know, before and after- Before it was like five to six inches.

Dating Education (1:28:30- 1:38:48)

Guy 1: Okay, um... (Awkward silence)
Guy 2: Hey Chris, I was wondering, where did you get the idea for Dating Education?
Chris: The idea for Dating Education... Okay, basically in High School we have Sexual Education, and it's like, well it's fine for... when you get that far in the dating situation, but how to we get to the first date, period. That's the idea-
Guy 3: Uh, excuse me Chris, but I think the whole point of Sex Ed is more out of, um... cautioninary, you know, telling the kids to take caution and-
Chris: Yeah, I-
Guy 3: -it's not exactly an instructor, it's more or less just telling them-
Chris: Yeah, yeah, I- I understand that. And, uh... I understand that, I took a Sex Ed class when I was in High School, so I unders- I do have a great understanding of that. I'm just saying, how do we... get to the first date, period, that's why, Dating Education, I feel is required. It's-
Guy 1: Well most people- The thing is, most people can handle their own pre-date blindness, I think it's just your Autism kind of prevents you from-
Guy 2: Plus, you-
Guy 1: Hold on, let me talk.
Chris: Look, let me just, look, well one thing. This guy is blaming my Autism.
Guy 1: No, no, no, look, I'm studying psychology, I know this stuff. Um, it makes it hard for you to interpret social cues, so...
Chris: Yes, exactly, Dating Education is for people like that. Could be for people like that to-
Guy 1: You could actually go to therapy, and they can teach you this stuff.
Chris: Well, they should teach it- They should teach it like in uh... In the High Schools-
Guy 2: That seems kinda like it would be a waste of school funds.
Chris: No, not necessarily!
Guy 1: I'm just saying for normal- Normally for people, dating comes easily for them.
Chris: Yeah well there are- There's-
Guy 1: Wait, wait, don't talk over him.
Chris: There are a lot of people who still are very shy to even approach... women, and there are even shy people who are afraid to approach men. I-
Guy 2: Well, I think that has to do more with personal shyness, I mean you have to get over that eventually. That is very-
Chris: Yeah, but still, Dating Education classes will- Will allow... Would teach, uh... The uh, shy people, uh... Good things to say and do.
Guy 1: Well, they already have Psycho Therapy.
Chris: And also-
Guy 1: Psycho Therapy.
Chris: It has nothing to do with therapy. It's like... You teach them to-
Guy 3: How isn't it like therapy?
Chris: You teach- Therapy is like, only one person, in one room, you-
Guy 1: No, they have group therapy too.
Guy 2: Yeah, I took group therapy for my depression, and it helped me.
Guy 1: I have something called Social Anxiety Disorder, I was really shy, I couldn't talk to anyone, so I went to group therapy, and I learned all about dates and stuff.
Guy 3: Hold up, uh, Chris- I don't know if you're reading the left or not, but YouTubeLover is actually saying that shy people aren't retarded, [something] YouTubeLover is saying.
Chris: Ummm... For the record, I'm not- I'm not slow in the mind. And also, The R-Word is offensive to me.
Guy 3: I'm sorry, that's just what YouTubeLover said.
Guy 1: "The R-Word"?
Chris: "Retarded".
Guy 1: Oh.
Chris: It questions the mental capabilities.
Guy 1: Chris, this is not what I'm talking about at all, you're just taking what I'm saying and trying to completely derail it.
Guy 2: I know what you're talking about.
Guy 3: Maybe you need a class on how to get friends.
Guy 1: See, what I'm saying is this is all, um... Making friends and stuff, this is all... It's not really stuff you can teach, it's just...
Chris: Yeah, but... Dating Education class would teach you, like, would recommend... suggest things you could say and do.
Guy 2: But it isn't really a proven method, Chris.
Guy 3: Chris, let me- Here's the situation, you remember when you were in the PokeLeague?
Chris: Uh, yeah.
Guy 3: Yes. Did you have friends there? I mean, that's what friends are, friends are people that you can relate to, they are... people that share-
Chris: I had- I had acquaintances- I had... friends AND acquaintances.
Guy 3: Well, it- I mean, you like to put things into categories and, y'know, you'd consider people that have a similar interest in things with you as friends, because you know, you talk to them about things, and you share ideas.
Chris: Yeah.
Guy 3: I mean, we're all just trying to help you, Chris.
Chris: Right.
Guy 1: What I'm trying to say is, dating basically comes down to social skills. You can't teach social skills as something that- You can get therapy for it, I mean it's not really something you can teach.
Chris: It can be taught though.
Guy 2: No it can't.
Guy 4: There are like, dating coaches, Chris, have you ever thought of seeing a dating coach or someone like that?
Chris: I-
Guy: Those are baloney.
Chris: Yeah. Sounds like baloney.
Guy 3: ..You know, you kind of-
Guy 1: Well anyway, what I was saying, is... forget it now.
Guy 3: Well, as I was saying, you... You don't really learn, you kind of, you know... Get to know somebody, um... It usually starts on how they... It usually starts with similar interests-
Chris: Alright, hang on, hang on. Stop for a moment. Hey. YouTubeLover, I've played video games, my mind gets- I have developed quick-minded skills from that, so therefore... I can make- I can make decisions on the fly like THAT. (Pause) Yeah but still, that still proves that I'm not slow. 'Cause I can make decisions-
[Audio is messed up for a while, Chris is still talking about how he's not slow and has many friends]
Guy: It sounds like you're getting "acquaintances" and "friends" messed up, the people at Church are acquaintances, and kind of have to be with you, friends are the people that would ask, after Church, "Hey, let's go get something to eat" or "Hey, did you hear about this movie coming out?" and then you go see a movie with them.
Chris: Okay, I'm getting tired of answering questions right now, but... [Audio still messed up. Chris and the others keep talking back and forth for a while. Sarah May returns and they start talking, eventually the audio goes back to normal]

Chris shatters Sarah May's heart (1:38:48 - 1:56:55)

Chris: Sarah, you are my friend.
Sarah May: I don't know, because it doesn't always feel like that, you know?
Chris: Hmmm... I get- I get under stress sometimes, it's hard for me to... think... about every single detail.
Sarah May: I sensing that, like, you just wanna use me for sex, you-
Chris: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I want- I- I am your friend, and I wish to... Sarah, you are my friend. And I love you as such. Okay?
Sarah May: I guess, I... kind of feel like crying...
Chris: No you don't have- Don't cry. Don't cry. I'm sorry.
Sarah May: I'm just a little upset that [something] then we'd have a threesome and like-
Chris: Oh. Oh, oh, oh, that. Yeah. Hmmm... Yeah. I'm sorry about that. It- Uh... My mind was- was in one- was... Uh... Had my mind in another location, and uh, just... didn't want me to think, past... clearly. I'm sorry.
Sarah May: You mean like, in a sexual place, you know, like thinking about that?
Julie: Actually, Chris?
Chris: No I- No no no, not in a sexual place, no.
Sarah May: Okay...
Chris: I was like, uh... Hm, uh... some- yeah. Hm. Anyway, I'm sorry, Sarah.
Julie: Um, Chris?
Chris: Yes, Julie?
Julie: Because of my, uh, recent religious studies, I don't really think... Chris, I don't really want you to have sex with another woman.
Chris: Well, I'd be having the sex with you FIRST.
Julie: No, that's... That's not what I mean, it's more the... I don't want you to have sex with another woman.
Chris: (Sigh) Well that's like, you're- you're- you're, uh... Now you're saying it's like, uh... Another-
Julie: And I'm not gonna have sex with other men either, so...
Chris: But, you know, Julie I was-
Julie: Chris?
Chris: Yeah.
Julie: The Bible states that sex should only be after marriage and with one person, your soulmate.
Chris: Yeah, well... Yes. Julie. But, you know, from what I was taught in my Methodist Church, sex before marriage IS okay. As long as we love each other. Very much, Julie. And I love you.
Julie: Chris, I do truly love you, but... It's love, and it's something you should just share with me, you know.
Chris: Yeah, that's right, I will be shining for you first, for a whole bunch- For a whole bunch of number of times, and than if we want- and then if we- Then- If and when we feel ready, with Sarah, who is our, uh... Who is our friend.
Julie: It's God's will that you went to a Methodist Church. Which is the same is mine.
Chris: Wait a minute, I thought you said that you didn't go to Church.
Julie: No I mean, I went to a Methodist Church and it's the same as yours- No, I mean- What I'm trying to say is, what I'm TRYING to say is that I don't want you having sex with other women. I'm just trying- Chris...
Chris: Julie. I understand. And I'll respect your wishes. I will keep myself- I will save myself sexually for you.
Julie: I'm sorry, I'm just nervous.
Chris: It's okay. It's okay, I understand. (Pause) I'm hugging you, Julie. Do you feel that?
Julie: Yes. You promise me you won't have sex with other women?
Chris: Un- Unless I had your consent, I promise I will not have sex with other women.
Sarah May: But... But, Chris, you promised.
Chris: Well... Yeah, I promised, uh... You'd be the first- You would be in- You would be- You would be in our threesome, and uh...
Sarah May: But... But Julie just said she didn't want you to... You know...
Chris: Yeah, she didn't want me to have... sex with other women, uh... Julie, uh, you wanna answer this question? Because I'm not sure I'm able to, myself.
Julie: Yes, I will answer it.
Chris: Yeah.
Julie: So what's the question?
Sarah May: Um, I was just wondering because... Chris promised me before that he would have a threesome with me, and now you don't him to, and... I'm really upset right now, is all.
Julie: Well yes, but you must understand where I'm coming from, I mean, I'm sure if you had a husband, you actually wouldn't want him having sex with other men.
Sarah May: Well, I- I understand, because I'd want to keep my man to myself to, but it's just... He promised, I don't know what kind of person goes back on their promises.
Julie: I'm sorry, Sarah May, but this is my decision.
Sarah May: I understand, but... I just feel really... The promise you made to me was just really special and sacred, you know? I just want to know that we're good friends, you know?
Chris: Yeah, I meant the promise as sacred between me and Sarah May, as friends, and such. And, uh, Julie, just to let you know, I would be- I would be okay- You would have my consent if you wanted to, uh, have sex with the other man, that's why I had given- That's why I gave it consideration, and uh... Feel that I'd be cool. With uh, you having, uh... With you and me having a with- With another- With the guy, with the second guy in there.
Julie: Chris?
Chris: Yeah.
Julie: The Bible is the Word of God. Not your Church. I love you. I love you with my heart, Chris, but please...
Chris: I understand, Julie. I understand. And I respect... you for that.
Sarah May: I think it's okay in the Bible if it's sex with someone you truly love.
Chris: Yeah. You're right- You are correct, Sarah. It is. Yeah.
Julie: It's the WORD OF GOD. Not your Church.
Chris: Yeah, but the Church enforces, uh... The rules in the Bible. A guidelines for like, how we should... live our lives. Recommendations.
Julie: It's God's Will. And I think that it would be against God's Will if we decide to do it with another man or woman.
Chris: Hmmm. I understand, yeah.
Julie: Now please, Chris. Promise me that you won't have sex with another woman that's not me.
Chris: Julie, I promise, I will not have sex with another woman that's other than you.
Sarah May: But you promised me first! Doesn't that matter to you?
Chris: Hm. Yes, Sarah, it does matter to me. And I'm sorry. I just-
Sarah May: But-
Chris: I didn't realize that Julie would feel this way. I wish you-
Sarah May: Well-
Julie: I'm sorry, Sarah May.
Sarah May: Doesn't it matter the way I feel?
Chris: It does matter, Sarah. I feel for you. I truly do.
Sarah May: I don't think you do, Chris! I doesn't feel like you do.
Chris: I do, cuz it- 'Cause right now, it might feel like, uh... You're being... You're being set- It might feel like you're possibly being set out- Set aside, like an outsider, but-
Sarah May: It feels like that because that's what is happening, I mean there's no other word for it.
Julie: Wait a minute, Chris. Chris, when you talk about how you promised her first... Who else have you promised sex to?
Chris: Ohhhhh... Uhhhh...
Sarah May: Chris, a promise is a sacred thing, and I just don't understand why you would promise me and then break it, and then promise Julie, how does she know it's true?
Chris: (Sigh)
Julie: Because he truly loves me.
Sarah May: But I thought you loved me!
Chris: Hm. Alright, I-
Sarah May: Chris, you- You can't have it both ways, you know. I don't understand why you-
Chris: Sarah. Sarah.
Sarah May: Yes?
Chris: Don't be upset. I'm sorry, I made the uh, promise... with a- with an assumption that I was uncertain of on, uh, Julie's behalf. And Sarah, I love you and care about and respect you as a friend. And I'm sorry I made a promise I could not keep.
Sarah May: But, I don't know if I can trust you now. I mean, I was gonna go to Virginia and everything, and now it's... Now I don't think I should.
Chris: Sarah, you are welcome to come and visit. But as I just have promised Julie... No sex. But we can still hang out together. Is that okay, Julie?
Julie: What?
Chris: Just hanging out. Me and Sarah May.
Julie: Well that's alright. But if I catch word, Chris, that you did commit adultery with Sarah May I will be very upset.
Chris: I swear, I will not, uh... have sex with Sarah May. Sarah, you-
Sarah May: (Crying) It's not fair, Chris!
Chris: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Sarah May: It's not fair, why would you do this to me??
Chris: I didn't know back then!! I'm sorry.
Sarah May: I... I feel so broken right now.
Chris: I feel s- I feel sad about it too. That I- That, uh... I can't keep the promise. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. (Pause) I feel for you, I truly do, Sarah. As a friend, I feel for you.
Sarah May: How could you feel for me, 'cause... This is never happened to you, no one's ever broken your heart like this.
Chris: My heart HAS been broken before. (Sigh) Between Mary Lee Walsh, uh... Tellin' me not to search for my sw- Search for sweetheart the way I did back then. And then also that one time... That I actually drew in the- drew as a Sub-Episode. Hanna. She was just pulling my leg back then.
Sarah May: Chris, what are you talking about?!
Chris: I'm just giving you a couple of examples of when my heart WAS actually broken.
Sarah May: But- But why? We're talking about me right now, I thought.
Chris: Okay, yeah, we are talking about you right now. (Sigh)
Sarah May: I don't think you care about me anymore...
Chris: I- I DO care about you, Sarah May. I care about you very much, as a friend. Okay?
Julie: Chris?
Chris: Yes, Julie.
Julie: I have heard that it was said, "You shall not commit adultery, but I say to you, that anyone who looks at a woman to lust for her, has committed adultery in his heart." Do you understand what I'm saying?
Chris: Hm. Yes, Julie. And you know, Julie, I'll tell- I'll tell you something. Uh... I'm not, I uh, I'm not uh... I'm still holding on to my- to the, uh... feelings that I was feeling when I was talking to you, Sarah, but, you know, just, uh... I'm holding on that, but I'm talking to Julie right now. And Julie, I wanna say, I'm proud of you for, uh, taking such an interest in the Methodist Church.
Julie: Thank you.
Chris: Okay.
Sarah May: I'm religious too, I just... Am I wrong?
Chris: No, you-
Sarah May: Am I wrong about what I believe?
Chris: No, Sarah. You are not wrong. You are right. You are right in what you believe, yourself.
Sarah May: But how can both me and Julie be right?
Chris: (Sigh) Because, to... each of you, from your own point of view, what you see is right.
Sarah May: But Chris, why are you listening to what Julie says about religion? Why aren't you listening to me?
Chris: I'm sorry, uh... I- I will listen to you, Sarah, umm... If you have anything you'd like to say, I'm... open and I will listen to your impressions and assumptions. (Long pause)
Sarah May: Well... I mean, I'm Jewish, is that okay?
Chris: Oh, you're Jewish.
Sarah May: Yeah.
Chris: I did not- I did not know that. But, yes, that's okay, Julie. You are Jewish-
Sarah May: I was really afraid that you would... be upset with me.
Chris: No it's okay, I'm not upset with you. I'm not upset with you, Julie. And I accept the fact that you are Jewish. And I accept- And I still accept you... as my friend. And also, uh, I may offer a input, if I heard correctly, uh... Uh, people who are Jewish are not supposed to have sex outside their religion.
Sarah May: Yes, some people believe that, but not all of them.
Chris: Do you believe it?
Sarah May: Some of us don't believe in it.
Chris: Oh. Do you believe in it?
Sarah May: Yeah, I think as long as the people love each other, then it's okay.
Chris: Oh. Well then, Julie, you are right.
Sarah May: I mean, I respect Julie's opinions and all, but, you know, I just... I think in any religion that a promise should be a sacred thing, you know.
Chris: Yes, Julie, I agree. Promises are sacred.
(In case you lost count, Chris called her by the wrong name FOUR times in a row.)
Sarah May: That was me, not Julie.
Chris: (Not understanding) Yes. I am listening.
Sarah May: Why are you calling me "Julie", Chris?
Chris: No, I- I did not call you "Julie".
Sarah May: You just did!
Chris: Wait... No, I said "Yes-" (Finally realizes) Oh, I'm sorry. My mind is-
Sarah May: You- Are you just pretending that I'm Julie?
Chris: No, no, no! No, Sarah. No. I'm not-
Sarah May: (Crying) Why would you do that to me?
Chris: It was an accident!
Sarah May: WHY???
Chris: I'm sorry.
Sarah May: How could you make a stupid accident like that, Chris??
Chris: I'm not perfect, we're not perfect! (Sigh) We're only- We're only human. We have our- We have rights to make mistakes. And I have made mistakes.
Sarah May: It's just like, when you're having sex with somebody and they say somebody else's name, do you know what that would feel like? Do you know what this is doing to me right now, Chris??
Chris: I- Sarah. I do understand. Because I have... seen that situation on television.
[Once again, the audio is fucked. Chris and Sarah May are talking. Sarah says something about killing herself and Chris yells at her not to do it. Someone laughs, presumably the person who is recording the chat. The audio returns to normal for a few seconds.]
Chris: [something] -it was just now!
Sarah May: (Crying) I'm sorry, you know I-
Chris: NOOOOOOOO, I'm sorry-
[Audio cuts out again for a short while]

Put the knife down, I sent you a lock of my hair! (1:56:55 - 2:01:42)

Sarah May: I can't believe this!
Chris: (Sigh) I can't believe it either.
Sarah May: You- You won't even say anything, you just told me you don't [something] ...You don't even care about me!
Chris: Sarah, I do care about you!
Sarah May: You just wanna talk to Julie right now, don't you?
Chris: No, I'm talk- No. I wanna talk to you, I want to... help you feel better, Sarah.
Sarah May: You're not even trying...
Chris: I am trying, Sarah. I'm sorry. I messed up, and I feel bad about it too.
Sarah May: But you KEEP messing up! You just- you keep doing it! I... I think I'm gonna do something really bad...
Chris: NO, SARAH, DON'T! Don't do- Don't do anything bad! Don't, no. No. Don't hurt yourself, Sarah.
Sarah May: Chris... I think I'm going to.
Chris: NO, NO, NO, don't do that, you've got a lot to live for, Sarah.
Sarah May: I feel like- I feel like killing myself, or-
Chris: No, Sarah, don't!
Sarah May: I'm gonna kill myself...
Chris: No! No, no. No. No. Sarah? Don't kill yourself. Don't kill yourself.
Sarah May: I just- I feel like nothing is worth living for anymore, because-
Chris: Sarah! Sarah, there are a lot of things in life worth living for.
Sarah May: There nothing, if your friend can't even keep a promise and doesn't even know your name...
Chris: I do know your name, your name is Sarah.
Sarah May: You don't- You don't know my name... You don't.
Chris: Your name is- You are SARAH MAY.
Sarah May: Then why do you keep calling me "Julie"?
Chris: I am not- I stopped. I stopped doing that.
Sarah May: You did it like five times!
Chris: No, Sarah. Look, (Sigh) well maybe I miscounted.
Sarah May: I'm killing myself right now...
Chris: NO, NO, DON'T- No! No! No! No-
Sarah May: I've got the blade, you can't stop me!
Chris: No, Sarah- Sarah, put the knife down.
Sarah May: I'm doing it!
Chris: No- No, Sarah! No.
Sarah May: I'm doing it right now!
Chris: No. Look, stop. Stop. Just, just stop.
Sarah May: (Crying)
Chris: Put the knife down, Sarah.
Sarah May: (Crying, in pain)
Chris: Put the knife down, Sarah. You don't need to do this. You've got- You have a lot to live for, Sarah. Sarah, you have a lot to live for. You have your-
Sarah May: You just keep saying the same thing, you-
Chris: You have your family! You have your friends! You have your future! And also, I- Also, Sarah. I sent Cassie 23 samples of my locks of hair.
Sarah May: Why are you telling me this?? Why???
Chris: Because, uh, I know- I know... from Cassie's promise, she will send you one of those locks.
Sarah May: But that doesn't matter right now, why are you talking about this??
Chris: (Sigh, whiny) Sarah, I'm trying to make you feel better. I'm trying- I'm trying to help you.
Sarah May: You... You... (Crying)
Chris: Sarah... I'm sorry.
Sarah May: I'm gonna...
Chris: Sarah, no, don't cut yourself any more.
Sarah May: I- I thought you understood us, I... I thought you understood the girls, you said you did...
Chris: I- I- I did understand... women. Well, maybe not- Maybe not to a full amount of knowledge, but I CARE, and I RESPECT all women's feelings, including yours, Sarah.
Sarah May: Then why did you lie to me? You lied to all of us, when you say you-
Chris: (Sigh)
Sarah May: You say you respect us, and I... You have to stop lying, Chris!
Chris: Sarah, I'm not lying now. (Sigh)
Sarah May: How do I know that? You tell me you weren't lying before, and then you turn around and you... I... I don't- I have to...
Chris: (Sigh)
Sarah May: I have to go.
Chris: No, Sarah, Sarah. I was ready-
Sarah May: I have to go, I have to go now, I can't take this anymore...
Chris: Sarah.
Sarah May: I can't take this anymore...
Chris: Sarah? I love you-
Sarah May: I'm leaving right now, I can't-
Chris: No, Sarah.
Sarah May: I can't take it...
Chris: Sarah? I'll give you- I'll give you your space. You just calm- Just take your time. Just calm down.
Sarah May: (Crying)
Chris: Don't cut or kill yourself.
Sarah May: (Crying)
Chris: No, don't- Don't cut or kill yourself.
Sarah May: Well, I'm gonna do it right now.
Chris: No-
Sarah May: Goodbye, Chris... Goodbye.
Chris: Sarah? I love you as a friend! (She's gone) Oh...

The Five Stages of Grief (2:01:42 - END)

Julie: Chris? I'm sorry, Chris... I'm sorry.
Chris: No, this is my fault.
Julie: This... I'm sorry.
Chris: (Sigh) I'm sorry too, Julie. I did- I made a promise I did not realize that I couldn't keep. And now I just made... things worse. I... Thought- At least- At least two or five times I said your name instead of Sarah's.
Julie: Chris, it's okay. We'll get throught this together, don't worry.
Chris: Y'know, Julie, it took me a long time- took me a long time to make the transition from... um, Sarah/Panda to your- to you. 'Cause y'know, back then I... My- The first name that came into mind was- was hers, but... Still, I tried- Still, I worked HARD in shifting from that- from her to you. To devote myself to you. I- I do- Julie? I love you and a care about you a lot as a friend, and as my... girlfriend.
Julie: Chris?
Chris: Yeah.
Julie: Sarah May may be gone, but I...
Chris: Well at least I still have you.
Julie: Thank you.
Chris: (Breathing)
Julie: But, Chris?
Chris: Yeah?
Julie: I'm still worried, she's probably dead I'm... worried about her. I... Chris?
Chris: Yeah, I'm worried too.
Julie: I need to go and think.
Chris: Yeah, me too.
Julie: For a while...
Chris: Me too.
Julie: I might not be back for a week.
Chris: I understand. Julie? I'm still looking forward to your letter, and I'll look forward to the next time we chat. And... Ich bin schwell, Julie.
Julie: Chris?
Chris: Yeah.
Julie: I think, at this time, maybe you should talk to Clyde.
Chris: Yeah. I un- I understand. We should talk to Clyde. If the home- If my home phone rings in the future, I'll be sure to answer it.
Julie: No, I think we should talk to him on Skype.
Chris: Oh. Well, okay, let's... We can switch over to Skype then. Alright.
[The end. Bluespike sings and everyone in the chat is amazed by what just transpired.]


Mumble Chat 7 Mumble Chats Mumble Chat 9


Links

Julie saga.png Julie Saga Julie saga.png
The Players

Organizations: The Miscreants
People: ChrisBlueSpike (JulieMax) • Clyde CashSarah MayBILLY MAYSBob ChandlerAunt Corrina
Inanimate Objects: Kimmi


The Games
Platforms: IRCMumblePSNSkype
Places: MolvanîaOhio
Mumble Chats: (1233.54567899.5101112)
BlueSpike PSN Chats: (1233.53.74)
BlueSpike Skype Logs: (12345678910111213)
Art: Silvana MasturbationRosechu with a strap-on
Julie's Introduction: Sarah May: Chris vs. Clyde: Sex Leaks: The Miscreants: The Reveal: The Aftermath:

Coinciding Sagas
Clyde CashPandaHaloPSN Hacking
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