Clyde Cash
Even though the troll behind Clyde had played multiple characters, this article primarily tackles Chris's interactions with the Clyde persona. All of Clyde's other personas are discussed towards the end of the article.
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This article is rated M for Honest Content
It may contain content deemed not safe for work. Reader discretion is advised.
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Note on Misinformation:
This article previously included information that was primarily speculative or incorrect. This is being fixed. For more information see here. |
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Troll disclosure: This persona was created, appropriated, or otherwise used by trolls to manipulate Chris. He was played by the same person behind Gregg Mays, Vivian Gee, Mao, and Shigeru Miyamoto. Though this identity is contrived, the CWCki may treat it as if it were a real identity because it was to Chris. (It's also funnier that way.) |
| “ | Yer butt's gonna be in trouble. | ” |
| Barbara Chandler to Clyde Cash[1] | ||
| Clyde Cash | |
|---|---|
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| Information | |
| Name | Clyde Cash |
| Date of birth | July 4, 1976[2] |
| Also known as | Gregg Mays Liquid Snake[3] Clydec TheGreggMays Mr. Sin Dinero[4] Mr. Clyde[5] Clyde No-cash[6] Starscream troll[7] |
| Gender | Male |
| Race | White |
| Nationality | American |
| Occupation | Internet troll Leader of The Miscreants |
| Spouse | PandaHalo |
| Children | Penny Cash[8] |
| Siblings | Ryan Cash (brother) |
| Other relatives | Vivian Gee (cousin) |
| Saga | Template:ClydeDenotation, Template:PandaDenotation, Template:MiyamotoDenotation, Template:JulieDenotation, Template:PSNDenotation, Template:EmilyDenotation, Template:IvyDenotation, Template:TitoDenotation, Template:JackieDenotation |
Clyde Cash (alias Liquid Snake or Gregg Mays – that's Gregg with three G's) (4 July 1976[2]) was the ringleader of The Miscreants and is often considered to be Chris's arch-nemesis, even years after his trolling days were finished. In recent years, however, some have argued that the Idea Guys or Bella have taken this position away from Clyde. Nonetheless, when people think of Chris Chan's greatest trolls, Clyde is usually chief among them, usually due to the sheer volume of videos that Chris made denouncing or threatening his Guido rival.
Ironically, despite Chris' constant demonizing of him, Clyde has warned him about several things that would later return to bite him in the ass, such as his unwillingness to work, spending habits, delusional thoughts and poor treatment of women, and even predicted Chris' innate desire to dress like a woman.
As mentioned above, the original troll behind the Clyde Cash persona was also involved with a variety of other personas dedicated to trolling Chris, and at least one was active at any given time during the "Classic Era" of Christory. Clyde and his various proxies retired following the death of Bob Chandler, with no clear word about where the original troll went.
Prologue
Ryan's Death
Ryan Cash was the fictional brother of Clyde, who committed suicide when Chris announced there would be no comics released, witholding Sonichu 7, in protest of the Encyclopedia Dramatica page. He left the following note before killing himself:
| “ | Dear family and friends, this is my final message to you, i am going to kill myself after my hero, christian weston chandler let me down. Sonichu was my hero and without anymore comics i will never be able to aspire to be just like him. i hate christian for deciding to not make any more comics and being lazy! all he does is play his stupid video game and not care about anything but himself! He's such a jerk! GOOD BYE FOREVER I HOPE TO SEE YOU IN HELL CHRIS. Ryan Cash. | ” |
| A sad final farewell. | ||
Clyde was absolutely heartbroken upon discovering his brother's cadaver, and entered a state of depression. While Chris was upset by this news, due to his naïve understanding of the concept of death, his response to the news came across as condescending to a grieving Clyde, who was upset that the video wasn't dedicated to his brother, but various news items that were seemingly of more importance to Chris. The final straw was when Chris made a thoughtless comment indicating that he enjoyed having enough influence over someone that they could kill themselves after he took a course of action.
Trolling
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This article is still yet to be completed due to stress. We get a lot of stressful torture in our lives that makes us crash into slumber. Given that inspiration is a big variable, and we may have been lacking of it, this article will be completed as soon as possible, at our own pace... HONEST! This article is missing the following:
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Following from Ryan's death, Clyde's grief transformed into righteous indignation, and he swore to avenge his fallen brother by setting himself on a path to become Chris's archnemesis, even if he had to become a monster to do so. Clyde would be well-known for his various trolling plans against Chris.
Rape of PandaHalo
The first plan involving the Clyde persona was to make Chris believe that Clyde had raped his current sweetheart, PandaHalo.[9] Panda would announce this revelation to Chris in an IRC chat, and tell him that she was impregnated, to which Clyde would repeatedly call her a "liar".[9] Despite Chris's initial shock of the revelation, he was still willing to forgive Clyde for this, and had proposed that Panda get an abortion. This did absolutely nothing to Chris as he simply moved onto the next gal-pal. Chris believes that Clyde married Panda and had a "One Cent Daughter" named Penny.[8]
Sonichu Girls
- Main article: Sonichu Girls
Clyde would also create a fake group of female Sonichu fans known as Sonichu Girls.[10] This group would also be co-founded by Sarah May, who previously white-knighted Chris in IRC chats he had with Clyde,[11] and another gal-pal named Cassie. The group would primarily be made up of troll personas that would later be used to catfish Chris with, including Julie and Emily. Not much else is known about Clyde's involvement with the project, though the forum would later be repurposed into a message board for trolls, many of whom were from the Miscreants.
"Julie"
Clyde would once again bait and threaten Chris with Julie, a trollsona created by a 13-year-old troll that went by the name of BlueSpike. Bluespike had set up a Mumble chat in which Chris could communicate with TRUE and HONEST Sonichu fans. He would also go under two aliases, "Julie" and "Max" Milvana, two siblings who came from the nation of Molvania, luring Chris into various trolling plans with the Julie character, and threatening her with the Max character.
Clyde would stalk Julie while infiltrating the Mumble chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as cleaning his room or threatening Chris that he will harm Julie, unless he admits that he's gay, leading to unexpected results. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of BlueSpike.
Clyde would later play as the founder and original leader of a made up group called "the Miscreants", a group of people who would troll Chris from early 2009 to 2011, terminating the group following Bob's death. Clyde has claimed the original purpose of the group was to prevent Chris from finding a boyfriend-free girl.[12] Supposedly being a group that's been around since ancient times, they would also claim to be resposible for many of Chris's past misfortunes, prophesizing that a man dressed as a pickled cucumber would steal one of his sweethearts.[13]
When it was announced that Max had kidnaped Julie, Clyde would later claim on 24 February 2009 that he had plans to send Julie off to China in 9 hours, to which Chris responds that he would make his way to Ohio to save her.[14] Of course, this effort would prove fruitless, as the address he was given belonged to a rundown house owned by an elderly lady.
After tinkering with the new Max character, BlueSpike would prompt Chris to do things like shoving pieces of his medallion up his ass, and telling him to say the word "niggers".[15] This would prompt Clyde to kick BlueSpike out of the Miscreants. In Chris's revised Encyclopedia Dramatica page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll".[7] This is a reference to the Transformers character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow Megatron behind the scenes. Chris says this because he believes Clyde had killed BlueSpike after he had been kicked out of the Miscreants.[16]
Chruch Audio and The Hooker Incident
During Chris's short break from the Internet, Clyde sent out his trusted Man in the Pickle Suit to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The MIPS turned Robert Simmons V into a troll and infiltrated Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.[17] From this, both MIPS and Robert would discover several more details about Chris's personal life, such as citing Family Guy as evidence that homosexuality is sinful, and that Rocky Shoemaker had encouraged him to continue reading How to Talk to Girls.
Chris would later go on a date with Emily at the Charlottesville Fashion Square. The MIPS then stole her from Chris, which then prompted Emily to declare to Chris that she will live with Clyde instead of him, and for Chris to publically declare the MIPS's association with Clyde.[18] Clyde would later declare responsibility for the failed date in a call with Chris which followed soon after providing him with a group of "escorts" to help him with his Love Quest.[19]
Ivy
When Ivy came along, he decided to continually harass her and despite Chris making a few threats, Ivy eventually gave in and rumors circulated about her killing herself.[20]
Directly after the Hooker Incident, Chris would call Ivy.
PSN Hacking
Clyde also hacked into the PSN a few times, but then Jack Thaddeus did him one better...
Death
On 22 May 2009, the death of Clyde Cash, by a shotgun wound to the head, was reported by The Miscreants.
The Return
After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance. Chris wasn't very pleased.
In late 2009, when not battling Liquid Chris for the hand of Kacey, Chris spent his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in a one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into shape and a desire to frighten Clyde with his bulging muscles.
However, because of the negative reaction to Sonichu Special #4, Chris, in the CWCipedia mailbag, made clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.[21]
Eventually, Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis in 2010, believing he was the reason why he lost the heart of "The Wallflower". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a knife and slitting Clyde's throat as a warning to all trolls.
In another well-thought counter-trolling plan, Chris unsuccessfully attempted to scam Clyde into paying Chris $9,001 for destroying his own PS3. This almost fail-proof scheme was however foiled thanks to Surfshack Tito's vigilance.
Chris fights back
Having raped PandaHalo, threatened many of his other gal-pals, and being a general nuisance to him, Chris would try and fight back against Clyde every time he butted into Chris's life.
Threatening Violence
| “ | EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH GON' SSSSSTRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! I will PAUNCH HIS LIGHTS OUT! | ” |
| Chris threatening Clyde Cash[22] | ||
Like many trolls that Chris perceived as his enemy, Clyde would be the subject of many threats of violence and death threats from Chris. Though, in comparison to how he's responded to other trolls, Chris appeared to be far more vitriolic towards Clyde, being extremly upfront about his desire to murder the troll. He would state a desire to do such things as strangle him, "punch his lights out", or "shove his ass down his throat" to "make him eat his underwear". Although, any attempts to do these heinous acts would not go beyond Chris threatening to do them.
Chris would make use of an old Clown Doll, treating it as an object to release his anger towards Clyde on. Chris would film himself beating up the doll repeatedly, ocassionally putting what he presumed to be Clyde's face over it. He would attempt to tear up the doll repeatedly, but only managed to tear off its hat with his teeth. [23]
Upon Clyde's return, Chris would declare that he would one day confront Clyde in a fight.[24] Chris would also try to make Clyde appear weak in comparison to him in several videos, in one instance saying he's weaker than water. Chris would call Clyde out about the rape of PandaHalo a year late in a YouTube video when he came to believe that Clyde was responsible for the Wallflower leaving him. In that video, Chris would pretend to beat up, choke, and then slit the throat of Clyde directly after he insulted him.
Attempted Doxing and Blackmailing
Throughout their encounters, aside from threatening physical violence on him, Chris would also try to fight against Clyde by threatening that he'll uncover his true identity, blackmail him, and report him to authorities, a tactic which he had especially attempted several times after Clyde's return.
In the video "Secret Weapon", Chris claims to have aqcuired the mugshot of Clyde, which is actually a photograph of Lee Hotti given to him by the troll lordsillynipples. Chris would use the photo to reperesent Clyde in various videos where he threatens beating him up, typically placing it over the aforementioned clown doll, the first instance of which he actually uploaded a few hours before he declared unveiling Clyde's identiy.[25] A former troll-turned-white-knight would later inform him a month later that the picture he was given was not that of Clyde.[26] Despite it not actually being Clyde, the picture was circulated ironically, treating it as the true picture of Clyde, and soon became the one representation many associate with the troll.
In another video, Chris would once again claim that he was able to figure out Clyde's true identity. There Chris claims that Clyde is actually a little kid who attends an elementary school in Frankfurt, Kentucky.[27] Despite this, Chris still threatens Clyde by telling others to report him to the Frankfurt police. Chris would previously claim that Clyde was actually a minor in other videos, including one where he mocks Clyde by singing over the Coolio and Kylian Mash song Gangsta's Paradise.[6]
In October 2009, Chris obtained an alleged photo of Clyde Cash straddling a man in a Spider-Man costume. In several videos, Chris would hint at possessing the photo to intimidate Clyde by using a cropped version of the image to represent Clyde. Chris would threaten to blackmail Clyde by releasing the full image, uncovering it bit by bit, unless he left him alone, and he reveals his true identity by a deadline,[28] while also referring to the costumed man as the "itsy-bitsy spider".[28][29] In on particular video trolls persuaded him to make,[30] Chris would attempt to humiliate both Clyde and Jack Thaddeus, calling both of them weak by having this image take the place of the Twin Towers. Clyde did not stop, but Chris never returned the favor.[31]
Negotiation
In the comic
Despite his prominence as the leader of the trolls and being the frequent object of Chris's scorn in his videos, Clyde's overall presence in the winding narrative of the comic is surprisingly smaller than one might think. In the context of the story, Cly(de) is just another villain working for Mary Lee Walsh. Given that his first appearance in a music video was illustrated well before Chris discovered the photograph of Lee Hotti that he mistook for Clyde Cash's true appearance, Cly is portrayed as a bald, red-eyed baddie with no beard and fair skin instead of a freckled, tanned dudebro with spiky hair, a headband, and a very thin beard across his chin. He also has a fabulous purple cape and a dapper suit underneath, rather than typical Guido attire. Cly also has a jetpack, which he uses to regain his bearings after being hit with a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha attack. Strangely, Chris did not update the character's design in his few subsequent appearances after he discovered the "truth" of the master troll's appearance (which was that of Lee Hotti), or much later, when he drew a commission of himself making peace with the troll.
Apart from capturing Ivy and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero, officially Sonichu Special #1. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a slander ray and a pickle gun (which allows him to technically represent The Man in the Pickle Suit). He made his first appearance in the comic proper Sonichu #10 as the 4-cent_garbage.com building is collapsing. When Jason Kendrick Howell escapes, he condemns Clyde and Jack Thaddeus for being homo trolls. When Beel escapes, he too condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing an innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6-story elevator shaft to their deaths. Judging by Chris's commission, however, the death did not stick, although Cly no longer serves as an antagonistic force in the winding narrative.
Retirement
The last time Clyde interacted with Chris was during Chris's campaign for Alex's Lemonade Stand, where Clyde donated $10 dollars and shockingly commended Chris for doing something selfless for once. Notably, the comment on the Alex's Lemonade Stand page was the only time that Clyde interacted with Chris after the death of his father, as he and several other Miscreants had agreed to leave Chris alone when they decided that Chris had suffered enough, and that trolling him wasn't fun anymore. At some point after this, Clyde Cash felt that his brother Ryan had been sufficiently avenged, so he retired to New Jersey where he, his wife Sarah, and their daughter Penny could watch the sun rise over a grateful universe. He has not been seen since then.
Chris, surprisingly, has forgiven Clyde for what he has done, or at least he's stopped caring. In 2014, Chris drew art of him and Clyde making peace as part of a commission, albeit with both parties doing so somewhat begrudgingly. Notably, Chris completely screws up Clyde's height, making him appear to be much shorter than he was in the pages of the comic.
In the September 2020 Discord Q&A 4, Chris said that of all the trolls, the one he would want to meet the most is the person behind Clyde Cash (and, by extension, Vivian Gee, Mao, Gregg Mays, and Shigeru Miyamoto).[32]
Other Aliases
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This article is still yet to be completed due to stress. We get a lot of stressful torture in our lives that makes us crash into slumber. Given that inspiration is a big variable, and we may have been lacking of it, this article will be completed as soon as possible, at our own pace... HONEST! This article is missing the following:
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The original troll behind the Clyde persona had also created a number of other alieses, all of which were intended for entirely different trolling plans involving Chris. Many of the conflicts that involved Clyde also would involve these other personas.
Vivian Gee
- Main article: Vivian Gee
Vivian Gee, a cousin of Clyde was the first of several personas created by the troll behind Clyde,[33][10][note 1] even predating the Clyde persona itself.[34] Vivian's earliest known interaction with Chris was on 4 November 2007, where she would e-mail him, claiming to be the original creator of Sonichu.[35] Following from that, Vivian would try to "help" Chris, suggesting that he destroy his medallion.
Vivian had also created the Sonichu Audiobooks, and other pieces of media that reference Chris. Continuing on her endevor to "help" Chris, she would write a novel for a contest which revolved around Chris ruling world, hoping this would help him see the error of his ways. After Clyde's alleged death, Vivian would take his place as the leader of the Miscreants. Along with that, when the Clyde persona left in 2011, the Vivian persona had left along with it.
Vivian would also be the subject of death threats as extreme as the ones Chris had given to Clyde.
Gregg Mays
"Gregg Mays" was originally intended to be the name of a person entirely different from Clyde, a web designer working for Nintendo.[3] The Gregg Mays character would be part of a plan to hack into sonichu.net, promising Chris that he will redesign the website to promote Sonichu for Animal Crossing. Gregg would ask Chris for both his username and password for his Tripod account in order to adapt a new "system" for the website, which Chris had promptly gave him, which led to Gregg hacking into the website. Gregg would then tell Chris to make a video to proclaim that he was straight to regain the website.[36]
Even after Clyde spelled it out to Chris that "Gregg" was an alias of his, and that he was not Jason Kendrick Howell, Chris still believed it was Jason who hacked into the website. He sent a message to Clyde while thinking he was Jason, wishing him harm.[37] Chris would also come to believe "Gregg Mays" to be the actual name of the troll who played the Clyde persona.[38] Ironically, despite realizing that Gregg was a troll persona, he was still under the belief that he was actually being contacted by Nintendo staff.
Other Nintendo Staff
- Main articles: Shigeru Miyamoto, Reggie Fils-Aimé, Takashi Tezuka, and Jay Z
The troll behind Clyde would also roleplay as Nintendo staff besides Gregg. These staff members were Shigeru Miyamoto, Reggie Fils-Aimé, Takashi Tezuka, and James Zylberstein.
It was around this time that Takashi Tezuka and Jay Z were doing their Animal Crossing game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as Shigeru Miyamoto to destroy any chance of the project. [39][note 2] Shigeru would engage with Chris in a series of emails, discussing the possibility of turning Sonichu into a video game franchise for the Nintendo platform.
Mao Ling
Mao "Bamboo" Ling was the founder of Asperpedia.
Fan art
Clyde Cash Sonichu
No one can be trusted when it comes to Cash!
Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.
Fan video
| Christian Weston Chandler kills Clyde Cash. | |
| Stardate | 12 October 2009 |
| Made By | GUInterface |
| Subject Matter | Clyde Cash |
| Video Type | Edited game cutscene |
| Other Info | Clyde Cash's demise. |
| TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos | |
| Clyde Cash (Amputated Cut) | |
| Stardate | 13 July 2021 |
| Made By | Kenny Blades |
| Subject Matter | Clyde Cash |
| Video Type | Rap dedicated to Clyde |
| TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos | |
See also
Notes
- ↑ When Clyde had revealed that he had created Sonichu Girls, he used his "vivitheg" screen name, while also calling himself Clyde.
- ↑ When Clyde edited the page regarding the e-mails he sent to Chris as Miyamoto, he annotated many parts of the page with red quoteboxes, as several of the e-mails were lost. The edit can be seen here.
References
- ↑ The Hooker Incident
- ↑ 2.0 2.1 File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg
- ↑ 3.0 3.1 Gregg Mays E-mails
- ↑ Secret Weapon
- ↑ Chris Calls Clyde Out
- ↑ 6.0 6.1 (Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise
- ↑ 7.0 7.1 Chris chan (CWCipedia)#Sex Life
- ↑ 8.0 8.1 Jackie Chat 7
- ↑ 9.0 9.1 IRC (21 January 2009)
- ↑ 10.0 10.1 Wayback Machine Link to Clyde admitting to creating Sonichu Girls
- ↑ IRC (20 January 2009)
- ↑ Mumble 9
- ↑ File:TapestryPickleMan.jpg
- ↑ Clyde E-mails#February 24, 2009
- ↑ Julie Reveals Herself
- ↑ Mumble 12
- ↑ Church Audio
- ↑ Emily Date Conversation Transcript
- ↑ Hooker incident
- ↑ CWC "Boyfriend"
- ↑ Mailbag 5
- ↑ CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009
- ↑ Sign Destruction Video
- ↑ Challenge for Clyde
- ↑ Take that Page DOWN NOW!
- ↑ White knight E-mails#17 April 2009 — Harbal
- ↑ Clyde Cash the kid video
- ↑ 28.0 28.1 To Clyde Gregg
- ↑ Clyde E-mails#Hi, Clyde — October 25, 2009
- ↑ Idea Guy / Joshua Wise (Manipulating the intellecutally disabled for fun) Megathread (Message #2831215). Kiwi Farms.
- ↑ ClydeGoingOnGregg1, Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!, Clyde is Weaker than Water, Getting Foam Ed, Twin Falling Towers, It will never end, Apology for 9/11 Joke
- ↑ Discord Q&A 4#Which troll would you meet?
- ↑ Clyde Cash (Message #71718). Kiwi Farms.
- ↑ Did Chris think Surfshack Tito was real? (Message #109338). Kiwi Farms.
- ↑ Vivian Gee E-mails, 2007-2008
- ↑ Gregg Mays E-mails#It is I, Jason Kendrick Howell! If you ever want to see your beloved site restored, you must meet my demands. — January 12, 2009
- ↑ Gregg Mays E-mails#January 17, 2009
- ↑ 10242009
- ↑ Miyamoto emails#5 January 2009 to 10 January 2009: Chris is Invited to Redmond
External links
- Gregg's YouTube account
- Post-date Conversations – The part with Clyde begins at about 4:35.
 Clyde Cash Saga
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