Aly Hirschberg

“	England needs more cuties like @Too_Sexy4CWC.	”
Aly

Aly Hirschberg
Information
Name	Aly Michelle Hirschberg
Also known as	Alan Christopher Ganly Alan Christopher Hulkerine Azrael vRS Davison Tailschu
Date of Birth	15 August 1987 (age 37)
Gender	Female
Nationality	Scottish
Ethnicity	Jewish
Religion	Mormon (former) Chris worship

Aly Michelle Hirschberg, also known by her transgender byname Alan Christopher, is a mentally disturbed Scottish Jew living in England who emerged in mid-2019 and made it her life's mission as a white knight and professed believer in the Dimensional Merge to spread Chris's wonder throughout the known world. Going above and beyond normal weenery, Aly wished to make Chris's life an international affair, in every sense of the word. She has encouraged both Chris and Sockness to visit her home country to have a 'polyamourous orgy' (sic) with her, and had set up fundraisers in vain for this purpose since first making his acquaintance, regardless of the fact that Chris has never left the United States and has virtually no authentic experience with foreigners, and presumably has not got the passport he would need to make such a trip at any rate.

Personality and beliefs

Hirschberg is an uncanny, grotesque mirror of Chris's various faults and failings from through the years. Both are in ill health and overweight, with greasy, unkept hair, subsisting mostly on fast food. She is described by those who know her from real life as egotist, violent and cruel. She is obsessed with finding a romantic partner, to the point that she had joined the Mormons for no other purpose than to get a boyfriend until she was kicked out of their church. Before this, she was expelled from her childhood synagogue for proclaiming herself a god and prophet. She believes herself to have magic powers. She has no sense of financial responsibility, receiving a monthly tugboat and spending all of her money on children's toys. Before her tugboat, she had briefly worked two jobs, one of which she lost for scaring small children, the other having something to do with marketing. Despite having a certificate that proves her qualified for well-paying work, she is too lazy to pursue any. She has been persuaded to have sex with a computer for all to see. Both have experienced the wrath of guards trying to control their public outbursts and have been arrested in incidents involving poor conduct at video game shops. Like Chris, she lives in a home filled with rubbish enough to mount a serious fire hazard with a mother of questionable character who clothes her from second-hand shops and is interested in her child primarily for the revenue she 'generates'. They are both smelly.

Like Chris and possibly Sockness, Hirschberg is convinced in earnest that the Dimensional Merge and CWCville are real, and that Sockness's sorcery is really effective. Such detachment from reality long antedated any involvement with, or even exposure to, Chris, as noted above. Aly has several original characters, named Kobayashi, Zeke and Katy, whom she thinks in truth live in Chris's fantasyland. Beside her apparently genuine belief in the Merge, Hirschberg is also infatuated with Sockness even more than Chris himself is; they have apparently met and befriended each other, and she claims that they are contemplating a 'three way relationship'. On several occasions, she has publicly described her attraction to Sockness and called Chris 'lucky' to have somebody as obsessive as 'the most beautiful man [she has] ever seen'. Moreover, Hirschberg believes that Sockness has visited her in her dreams.

Involvement with Chris

Hirschberg's original fundraiser for Chris: the former thought the money will bring him to London and Tokyo, while the latter had other designs for it.

Before appearing to Christorians, Hirschberg was one of Chris's anonymous customers, purchasing many of his wares offered on Etsy and eBay as would other exceptional individuals interested in Chris before these commercial affairs were shut down. She was only properly discovered in late August 2019, when she created a £5,000 fundraiser with the stated purpose of taking Chris on a world tour for his TRUE and LOYAL fanbase. This programme was unofficial, however, and Chris had not advertised it or even seemed aware of its or her existence; while he had expressed interest in visiting Britain and Japan before, this stunt would not attract him. As would other weens watching on the sidelines in September 2019, she encouraged Jacob Sockness's ill-fated journey to Chris's home. For a long time, it appeared that Hirschberg was just one of many unremarkable wannabe weens, fated to pass by the wayside.

Chris made direct contact with Aly for the first time when he discovered and re-tweeted the campaign on 6 October 2019, claiming the money was supposed to take care of his expenses for BABSCon. Curiously, Hischberg had created a separate fundraiser of £4,000 specifically for BABSCon, while the £5,000 campaign Chris provided on Twitter was the pre-existing one for this proposed world tour. Whether this was oversight or a deliberate grab for a thousand quid cannot be determined. Humorously enough, on 14 October, Chris tried again to share the link for the BABSCon fundraiser on Twitter, but botched it, only posting a partial, broken link. Aly had continued through October to jockey for Chris's attention since, offering to buy even more of his merchandise and pay the lion's share of his trip to BABSCon, and apparently courting Sockness with some success. She entered into private conversations with Sockness and Chris, which have not yet been released to the public.

In early November 2019, Hirschberg forsook her fundraising campaigns and other plans for Chris, citing Kiwi Farms' backlash against her. Some weeks later she returned, buying merchandise from Chris's latest venture and claiming the more modest goal of helping ease the Financhu Crisis through a third fundraiser. Like other financial enablers, her Twitter account is ordinarily protected to avoid external monitoring, making it hard to tell what, if anything, she has done since. Only time can tell whether she will regain Chris's attention at any time in future, or like many other weens before her fade into obscurity.

See also

• List of Chris's financial enablers

References

    People