Difference between revisions of "2011"
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*Chris goes to the [[Charlottesville]] [[Mal-Wart]] armed with an [[IBAChandler]] sniper rifle and massacres several [[manager]]s and [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend un-free boys]] in a [[Virgin with rage|Virgin Rage]]. | *Chris goes to the [[Charlottesville]] [[Mal-Wart]] armed with an [[IBAChandler]] sniper rifle and massacres several [[manager]]s and [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend un-free boys]] in a [[Virgin with rage|Virgin Rage]]. | ||
*Virginian [[police]] discover the corpse of a [[pedofork|14-year-old girl]] who had been [[rape]]d in the woods. Numerous signs of trauma to her [[vagina]], traces of [[semen]] and [[Fanta]] are found on the corpse. However, the chemicals in the Fanta completely destroyed any DNA, hindering the investigation. Officer [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]] is put in charge of the investigation, and personally swears to "mercilessly hunt down" the perpetrator, and bring him to justice. | *Virginian [[police]] discover the corpse of a [[pedofork|14-year-old girl]] who had been [[rape]]d in the woods. Numerous signs of trauma to her [[vagina]], traces of [[semen]] and [[Fanta]] are found on the corpse. However, the chemicals in the Fanta completely destroyed any DNA, hindering the investigation. Officer [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]] is put in charge of the investigation, and personally swears to "mercilessly hunt down" the perpetrator, and bring him to justice. | ||
*Chris kidnaps, rapes and murders nearly every single one of his past [[gal pal]]s and then attempts to create the "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]" by stitching together their various body parts and trying to reanimate them using his | *Chris kidnaps, rapes and murders nearly every single one of his past [[gal pal]]s and then attempts to create the "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]" by stitching together their various body parts and trying to reanimate them using the Anchuent powers of his [[Amnyfest ring]]. | ||
*[[Patti-Chan]] is resurrected by | *[[Patti-Chan]] is resurrected by Maya shamans in preparation of the 13th baktun: the end has begun. | ||
*Chris's carelessness after the kidnapping spree finally gives the Virginian state police the evidence to go after him. After a lengthy car chase in [[Son-chu]] down the interstate, the police finally corner him at a [[McDonald's]], forcing Chris to make a last stand. As Chris steps out of the car, brandishing a [[Megatron Pistol|WWI German pistol]], Officer Baggett orders Chris to put the gun down. Chris replies "[[random-access humor|Down where? All that's down there is the ground]]" and starts charging a [[curse ye ha me ha]] attack. Police are forced to open fire. Footage of Chris being gunned down is broadcast live across the country, resulting in Bagget's promotion to police commissioner. | *Chris's carelessness after the kidnapping spree finally gives the Virginian state police the evidence to go after him. After a lengthy car chase in [[Son-chu]] down the interstate, the police finally corner him at a [[McDonald's]], forcing Chris to make a last stand. As Chris steps out of the car, brandishing a [[Megatron Pistol|WWI German pistol]], Officer Baggett orders Chris to put the gun down. Chris replies "[[random-access humor|Down where? All that's down there is the ground]]" and starts charging a [[curse ye ha me ha]] attack. Police are forced to open fire. Footage of Chris being gunned down is broadcast live across the country, resulting in Bagget's promotion to police commissioner. | ||
*Chris, lying in the hospital and dying of his wounds, feels shame for the first time in his life, causing him to collapse into a singularity of self-loathing. He dies 5 seconds later. | *Chris, lying in the hospital and dying of his wounds, feels shame for the first time in his life, causing him to collapse into a singularity of self-loathing. He dies 5 seconds later. | ||
Revision as of 11:53, 9 July 2010
File:FutureChris.jpg
Chris in 2011.
File:The toppling of Christian.jpg
February 24: A year after the proclamation of Christian Love Day, the citizens of CWCville revolt against their tyrant.
Things planned that will happen in 2011:
- Chris is trolled more. (obvious that one)
- Bob Chandler dies.
- Scampers runs away. (go go scampers! :3)
- High Functioning Autism is officially recognized by the American Psychological Association and listed in DSM-V.
- Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles & Sonichu the Game are released as Project Natal exclusive titles, earning CWC millions and mad poon, but at the compromise of his beliefs. Chris later sues Microsoft to cease publication of his game and port it to Wii and PS3. He loses the lawsuit and is ordered to repay all of the revenue he made from his games.
- Hasbro releases a board game based off CWC's life, dubbed "Kick the Autistic" which quickly becomes America's favorite game.
- With her cat and husband gone and her son a total failure, Barbara Chandler attempts suicide, but due to her extreme size she is unable to kill herself and she expires in a mound of fecal matter.
- Chris goes to the Charlottesville Mal-Wart armed with an IBAChandler sniper rifle and massacres several managers and girlfriend un-free boys in a Virgin Rage.
- Virginian police discover the corpse of a 14-year-old girl who had been raped in the woods. Numerous signs of trauma to her vagina, traces of semen and Fanta are found on the corpse. However, the chemicals in the Fanta completely destroyed any DNA, hindering the investigation. Officer Marcus Baggett is put in charge of the investigation, and personally swears to "mercilessly hunt down" the perpetrator, and bring him to justice.
- Chris kidnaps, rapes and murders nearly every single one of his past gal pals and then attempts to create the "Sweetheart from the Ground-Up" by stitching together their various body parts and trying to reanimate them using the Anchuent powers of his Amnyfest ring.
- Patti-Chan is resurrected by Maya shamans in preparation of the 13th baktun: the end has begun.
- Chris's carelessness after the kidnapping spree finally gives the Virginian state police the evidence to go after him. After a lengthy car chase in Son-chu down the interstate, the police finally corner him at a McDonald's, forcing Chris to make a last stand. As Chris steps out of the car, brandishing a WWI German pistol, Officer Baggett orders Chris to put the gun down. Chris replies "Down where? All that's down there is the ground" and starts charging a curse ye ha me ha attack. Police are forced to open fire. Footage of Chris being gunned down is broadcast live across the country, resulting in Bagget's promotion to police commissioner.
- Chris, lying in the hospital and dying of his wounds, feels shame for the first time in his life, causing him to collapse into a singularity of self-loathing. He dies 5 seconds later.
- The CWC Saga is declared over, and heroic trolls everywhere retire in peace to live happy sucessful lives. The CWCki is left up as a monument to Christian's fail.
- Chris's body is sent off to NASA, who after extensive research discover that Chris really was a hedgehog all along.
- On Christmas day 2011, scientists announce that they had created a cure for autism, derived from chemicals found in Christian's body.
- CWC the Movie is picked up by Warner Bros and quickly becomes the most popular horror film of all time.
