Difference between revisions of "2011"

From CWCki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
m
m
 
(97 intermediate revisions by 37 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
Things <s>planned</s> that will happen in '''2011''':
[[File:2011cwc.PNG|250px|thumb|In 2011, Chris became a girlfriend-free tomgirl.]]
[[Image:S2011.JPG|thumb|250px|Graph showing the Google-popularity of the terms ''Sonichu'' (blue) and ''Christian Weston Chandler'' (red). '''2011''' is marked in [[Yellow Is a Mellow Color|Mellow Yellow]].]]


[[Image:FutureChris.jpg|thumb|[[Chris]] in '''2011''']]
'''2011''' was the third and arguably one of the darkest years since the discovery of the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]'s favorite lolcow, [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. In 2011, Chris turned 29. The year started out in the shadow of Chris's sixth declaration of leaving the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]. In spite of this, Chris took refuge on the [[PlayStation Network]], which has allowed the occasional bit of new material to surface, like the revelation that [[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris really does enjoy wearing women's clothing]].  
[[Image:The toppling of Christian.jpg|thumb|'''February 24:''' A year after the proclamation of [[Christian Love Day]], the citizens of [[CWCville]] revolt against their tyrant, undoing all the damage done in his "crusade of [[Honest Content|honesty]]"]]
[[Image:Sonichuspore1.png|thumb|"ALL Sonichus are [[Homos|STRAIGHT]]!"]]
* '''SPOILER ALERT:''' Chris still [[virgin with rage|won't have a girlfriend]]
* A new page of [[Asperchu/Background|Asperchu]] will finally be released.
*[[Scampers Chandler|Scampers]] runs away. ''(go go Scampers! :3)''
*''[[Wikipedia:Spore (2008 video game)|Spore]]'' is finally ported to consoles. Chris immediately makes [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] creatures. In a fundamental misunderstanding of how the game works, he flips out when it appears Sonichu is having [[Homos|gay]] sex with a clone of himself in Creature Stage. Chris accuses [[Wikipedia:Will Wright (game designer)|Will Wright]] of being a damn dirty troll. 
*[[Bob Chandler]] finally goes to cut down the [[Internet]] in Heaven.
*[[Autism|High Functioning Autism]] is officially recognized by the [[America]]n Psychological Association and listed in DSM-5.
*''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' & ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu the Game]]'' are released as [[Hex Bawx|Kinect]] exclusive titles, earning Chris millions and mad [[lie|poon]], but at the compromise of his beliefs. Chris later sues Microsoft to cease publication of his game and port it to [[Wii]] and [[PS3]]. He loses the lawsuit and is ordered to repay all of the revenue he made from his games.
*Hasbro, in cooperation with [[The Miscreants]], releases a board game based off CWC's life, dubbed "[[Kick the Autistic]]" which quickly becomes America's favorite game.
*Having made millions of dollars from their famous game, [[Clyde Cash]] is able to bring his organization back into the public. He then enlists the help of [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[User:Cogsdev|Webmaster Cogsdev]] to construct a network of proxy A.I.s to run all future organized trolling from then on out. Clyde is then allowed to retire in peace, knowing [[Ryan Cash|his brother's]] will had been carried on...
*With her cat and husband gone and her son a total failure, [[Barbara Chandler]] attempts suicide, but due to her extreme size she is unable to kill herself and she expires in a mound of fecal matter.
*Chris goes to the [[Charlottesville]] [[Mal-Wart]] armed with an [[IBA Chandler]] sniper rifle. In a fit of tard [[rage]], he fires at several [[manager]]s and [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend un-free boys]], missing every time.
*Chris is sentenced to six months house arrest for his failed rampage. He starts storming [[YouTube]] with meaningless [[PSEye]] videos again and tries to convince women to come to his house.
*Chris is released from house arrest, and soon proceeds to run over two people with [[Son-Chu]] while pretending his car is a <s>[[Transformers|Transformer]]</s> [[Metal Gear|walking battle tank]].
*For his crime, Chris is sentenced to two years in prison. He struggles to STAY STRAIGHT, but is raped by [[niggos]] daily.
*Chris is let off after one month for good behavior, and is instead sentenced to house arrest, yet again...
*Virginian [[police]] discover the corpse of a [[Zapina|14-year-old girl]] who had been [[rape]]d several miles from [[14 Branchland Court]]. Numerous signs of trauma to her [[vagina]], traces of [[semen]] and [[Fanta]] are found on the corpse, and [[Medallion|pieces of Crayola model magic]] are found [[Julie Reveals Herself|shoved up her anus]]. However, the chemicals in the Fanta completely destroyed any DNA, hindering the investigation. Decorated officer [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]] is put in charge of the investigation, and personally swears to bring the perpetrator to justice.
*Chris kidnaps, rapes and murders nearly every single one of his past [[gal pal]]s and then attempts to create the "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]" by stitching together their various body parts and tries to reanimate them using the Anchuent powers of his [[Amnyfest Ring]], the [[Heart Torch of Fail]], and his [[PS3]]. None of the methods work.
*Chris proceeds to instead stick the Heart Torch of Fail up his ass and creates Crystal, who later dies 5 seconds after seeing her father. Chris then rapes her corpse.
*After removing said object from his ass, he finds out at least 15 [[Pixelblocks]] are trapped in his ass. He is hospitalized for a week.
*[[Patti-Chan]] is resurrected by Maya shamans in preparation of the 13th baktun: the end has begun.
*Chris's carelessness after the kidnapping spree finally gives the Virginian state police the evidence to go after him. After a lengthy car chase in Son-Chu down the interstate, the police finally corner him at a [[McDonald's]], forcing Chris to make a last stand. As Chris steps out of the car, brandishing a vintage [[Megatron Pistol|WWII German pistol]], Officer Baggett orders Chris to put the gun down. Chris replies "[[random-access humor|Down where? All that's down there is the ground]]" and starts charging a [[curse ye ha me ha]] attack. Police are forced to open fire. Footage of Chris being gunned down is broadcast live across the country, resulting in Bagget's promotion to police commissioner.
*Barbara's corpse is discovered during a search on their house, half-eaten by [[Kitty]] and a zombie-esque Patti.
*Chris, lying in the hospital and dying of his wounds, feels shame for the first time in his life, causing him to collapse into a singularity of self-loathing.
*The CWC Saga is declared over, and heroic [[trolls]] everywhere retire in peace to live happy successful lives. The [[CWCki]] is left up as a monument to Christian's [[fail]].
*Chris's body is sent off to NASA, who after extensive research discover that Chris really was a hedgehog all along.
*On [[Christmas]] Day 2011, scientists announce that they had created a cure for [[autism]], derived from chemicals found in Christian's body.
*''Chris-Chan: An Autistic Odyssey'' is picked up by Warner Bros and quickly becomes the most popular horror film of all time (starring Philip Seymour Hoffman as Chris, Clint Eastwood as Bob, Kathy Bates as Barbara, Ulliel Gaspard as [[Liquid]], Emma Watson as [[Kacey]], Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino as [[Clyde Cash]], Ken Leung as [[Mao]], Rebecca Hall as [[Vivian Gee]], Jason Scott Lee as [[Surfshack Tito]], Ashley Tisdale as [[Sarah Hammer]], Ellen Page as [[Megan]], Samuel L. Jackson as [[Jerkhief]], Tom Baker as [[Michael Snyder]], Judi Dench as [[Mary Lee Walsh]], Lucy Liu as [[Vivian Gee]], Bruce Willis as [[Cole Smithey]] and Jaleel White as the voice of Sonichu). Cole tarnishes the film by giving it the only negative review.  


<gallery>
Two major events punctuated the later half of the year. The first was the [[Chris and death|death]] of Chris's father [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] in early September. The second event occurred a month later, when Chris and Barb were both [[Chris and the Law|arrested]] [[28 October 2011|for multiple offenses, including trespassing, assault and failure to stop]] at [[the GAMe PLACe]]. Chris and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] were bailed out two days later. Barbara appeared in court on the 31st of October, Chris on the 7th of November.  They went back in front of the judge in April 2012. As a result of these events, many of Chris's observers decided to let Chris be, leaving 2011 to be the third and final year of organized [[trolls|trolling]].
Image:SchuRL.jpg|[[Sonichu]] in '''2011'''.
 
Image:Rosechu.jpg|[[Rosechu]] in '''2011'''.
==January==
Image:Alenci.jpg|[[Angelica]] in '''2011'''.
{{main|January 2011}}
Image:Simonl.jpg|What [[Simonla]] could have looked like in '''2011'''.
 
</gallery>
Not much happened this month. Just as it was expected of him, Chris bought ''[[LittleBigPlanet]] 2'', and spent most of the last half of the month playing it. On a more interesting note, Chris's [[Disguises|pseudonym]] [[JenkinsJinkies]] was outed, and his exploits on the [[Trollin Train]] forums from July-August 2010 were made public.
 
==February==
{{main|February 2011}}
This month saw the release of several of Chris's ''LittleBigPlanet 2'' levels, including [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial]] and the [[Autism Tutorial]]s.
 
==March==
{{main|March 2011}}
[[File:ZyK7a.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in March, becoming a [[Tomgirl]]]]
An old pile of [[phone calls]] way back from the [[Liquid Chris|Liquis]]/[[Kacey]] saga was released to the Internet at the beginning of the month. Meanwhile, Chris began experimenting with crossdressing, beginning the largest metasaga since Chris's discovery.
 
==April==
[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in April 2011]]
{{main|April 2011}}
 
Trolls use the PSN security breach as a cover to leak [[Tomgirl Pictures|revealing pictures]] of Chris showing off his "[[Homos|Tomgirl]]" side.
 
==May==
{{main|May 2011}}
 
The PSN came back online, and Chris immediately deleted the "I am Tomgirl." quote. However, he later joined the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where all TRUE and HONEST Tomgirls and Tomboys hang out.
 
==June==
{{main|June 2011}}
 
Chris changed his [[PSN]] quote to "I No Socialize Online", published [[3DS Flipnote|a Flipnote]] and changed his [[voicemail message]] a few times. He also continued posting on the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, revealing some of the most disturbing stuff to date.
==July==
[[File:CWCJuly2011.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in July 2011]]
{{main|July 2011}}
 
After months of minimal activity, Chris's internet presence increased markedly during July. His participation in the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum was discovered, after which Chris publicly announced his true identity to the other members. Chris also created a new [[Facebook]] account, contradicting his prior claim regarding online socialization, and logged back into his long-dormant [[YouTube]] account. Chris made several videos for [[Jackie]] ([[Chris and Jackie's Date]], [[Who's Your Brony?]], [[Forgot the Glitter‎]] and [[Cakefarts]]) which weren't leaked until [[February 2012]].
 
==August==
[[File:CWC0811.PNG|thumb|Chris in August 2011]]
{{main|August 2011}}
 
August began with Chris and his [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|tom-pals]] planning vengeance against the CWCki. Soon thereafter, Chris broke his lengthy [[Chris and the Internet#Attempts to leave the Internet|internet hiatus]] by returning to YouTube and uploading [[Calling Out|a series of videos]] throughout [[August_2011|August]] in which he claims to have information on the true identities of a number of trolls, including [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]]. These videos called for each troll to first upload a video of their own apologizing for their crimes against Chris, and then leave the internet forever. An earthquake and major hurricane hit Virginia during this month, but unfortunately, this did not stop Chris from uploading videos.
 
==September==
{{main|September 2011}}
[[File:Chris 09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in September, at [[Mal-Wart]]]]
September began with Chris on a high, having unmasked [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Alec Benson Leary]] and [[Thorg]], and forcing [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] to leave the Internet. Sadly, on 6 September, Chris's father [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] died, and his funeral took place on 11 September. After that, nothing was heard from Chris.
 
==October==
{{main|October 2011}}
 
On 18 October, Chris tried to sell an old TV (presumably Bob's) on [[Craigslist]] for [[Chris and reality|more than $250]], suggesting that the Chandlers' financial situation has only gotten worse since Bob's death. [[28 October 2011|An incident]] occurred at the GAMe PLACe on 28 October, leading to the arrest of Chris and Barbara.
 
==November==
{{main|November 2011}}
 
Chris uploaded pics of [[Michael Snyder]] onto the [[CWCki]], and appeared in court to be charged with trespass, misdemeanor assault and failure to stop at the scene of an incident.
 
==December==
{{main|December 2011}}
 
Chris and Barb were tried on 15 December 2011. It was a blue [[Christmas|C-Mas]] indeed. However, he ''still'' didn't get a [[All I Want For Christmas Is A Pretty Girlfriend|pretty girlfriend]] for Christmas.


{{Timeline}}
{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]
[[Category:Chronology]]

Latest revision as of 15:13, 27 February 2023

In 2011, Chris became a girlfriend-free tomgirl.
Graph showing the Google-popularity of the terms Sonichu (blue) and Christian Weston Chandler (red). 2011 is marked in Mellow Yellow.

2011 was the third and arguably one of the darkest years since the discovery of the Internet's favorite lolcow, Christian Weston Chandler. In 2011, Chris turned 29. The year started out in the shadow of Chris's sixth declaration of leaving the Internet. In spite of this, Chris took refuge on the PlayStation Network, which has allowed the occasional bit of new material to surface, like the revelation that Chris really does enjoy wearing women's clothing.

Two major events punctuated the later half of the year. The first was the death of Chris's father Bob in early September. The second event occurred a month later, when Chris and Barb were both arrested for multiple offenses, including trespassing, assault and failure to stop at the GAMe PLACe. Chris and Barb were bailed out two days later. Barbara appeared in court on the 31st of October, Chris on the 7th of November. They went back in front of the judge in April 2012. As a result of these events, many of Chris's observers decided to let Chris be, leaving 2011 to be the third and final year of organized trolling.

January

Main article: January 2011

Not much happened this month. Just as it was expected of him, Chris bought LittleBigPlanet 2, and spent most of the last half of the month playing it. On a more interesting note, Chris's pseudonym JenkinsJinkies was outed, and his exploits on the Trollin Train forums from July-August 2010 were made public.

February

Main article: February 2011

This month saw the release of several of Chris's LittleBigPlanet 2 levels, including CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial and the Autism Tutorials.

March

Main article: March 2011
Chris in March, becoming a Tomgirl

An old pile of phone calls way back from the Liquis/Kacey saga was released to the Internet at the beginning of the month. Meanwhile, Chris began experimenting with crossdressing, beginning the largest metasaga since Chris's discovery.

April

Chris in April 2011
Main article: April 2011

Trolls use the PSN security breach as a cover to leak revealing pictures of Chris showing off his "Tomgirl" side.

May

Main article: May 2011

The PSN came back online, and Chris immediately deleted the "I am Tomgirl." quote. However, he later joined the Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia forum, where all TRUE and HONEST Tomgirls and Tomboys hang out.

June

Main article: June 2011

Chris changed his PSN quote to "I No Socialize Online", published a Flipnote and changed his voicemail message a few times. He also continued posting on the Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia forum, revealing some of the most disturbing stuff to date.

July

Chris in July 2011
Main article: July 2011

After months of minimal activity, Chris's internet presence increased markedly during July. His participation in the Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia forum was discovered, after which Chris publicly announced his true identity to the other members. Chris also created a new Facebook account, contradicting his prior claim regarding online socialization, and logged back into his long-dormant YouTube account. Chris made several videos for Jackie (Chris and Jackie's Date, Who's Your Brony?, Forgot the Glitter‎ and Cakefarts) which weren't leaked until February 2012.

August

Chris in August 2011
Main article: August 2011

August began with Chris and his tom-pals planning vengeance against the CWCki. Soon thereafter, Chris broke his lengthy internet hiatus by returning to YouTube and uploading a series of videos throughout August in which he claims to have information on the true identities of a number of trolls, including Surfshack Tito and Jack Thaddeus. These videos called for each troll to first upload a video of their own apologizing for their crimes against Chris, and then leave the internet forever. An earthquake and major hurricane hit Virginia during this month, but unfortunately, this did not stop Chris from uploading videos.

September

Main article: September 2011
Chris in September, at Mal-Wart

September began with Chris on a high, having unmasked Jack Thaddeus, Alec Benson Leary and Thorg, and forcing Surfshack Tito to leave the Internet. Sadly, on 6 September, Chris's father Bob died, and his funeral took place on 11 September. After that, nothing was heard from Chris.

October

Main article: October 2011

On 18 October, Chris tried to sell an old TV (presumably Bob's) on Craigslist for more than $250, suggesting that the Chandlers' financial situation has only gotten worse since Bob's death. An incident occurred at the GAMe PLACe on 28 October, leading to the arrest of Chris and Barbara.

November

Main article: November 2011

Chris uploaded pics of Michael Snyder onto the CWCki, and appeared in court to be charged with trespass, misdemeanor assault and failure to stop at the scene of an incident.

December

Main article: December 2011

Chris and Barb were tried on 15 December 2011. It was a blue C-Mas indeed. However, he still didn't get a pretty girlfriend for Christmas.