Aly Hirschberg

“	Christine is actually paying bills and stuff. The money I give her at least hasn't gone to waste, she uses my money I give for gas, electricity, car fuel, food, all the necessary essentials.	”
Hirschberg, justifying her financial enabling as freeing Chris's monthly tugboat to spend on toys instead

Aly Hirschberg
Information
Name	Aly Michelle Hirschberg
Also known as	Alan Christopher Ganly Alan Christopher Hulkerine Azrael vRS Davison Tailschu SadisticLion
Date of Birth	15 August 1987 (age 37)
Gender	Female
Nationality	Scottish
Ethnicity	Jewish
Religion	Mormon (former) Chris worship
Occupation	None Co-founder of Zippo Comics Inc

Aly Michelle Hirschberg, also known by her transgender byname Alan Christopher, is a mentally disturbed Scottish Jew living in England who emerged in mid-2019 and enabler of the third class who believes herself to be Chris's best friend. She has claimed to be Chris's chief financial benefactor, though Chris denied this. Going above and beyond normal weenery, Aly for a long time made it her life's mission to make Chris's life an international affair and spread his unique wonder throughout the known world. She would encourage Chris to visit her home country, setting up fundraisers in vain for this purpose, regardless of the fact that Chris has never left the United States and has virtually no authentic experience with foreigners, and presumably has not got the passport he would need to make such a trip at any rate. More recently, she decided instead that she would move house to the USA, yet her general modus operandi of showering Chris with money and encouraging whatever he is currently doing has not changed.

While others dealing in large financial sums with Chris have intended in time to betray his purchased trust, Hirschberg has declared that her simple goal to help the Chandlers through their self-inflicted financial woes. The precise amount that Hirschberg has spent in her well-meaning, however misguided, bid to ease the Financhu Crisis is unknown, nor is it known how much of this money Chris could actually get in the end after exchanging pounds for dollars. She has identified herself as Chris's "generous donor" responsible for ending his traditional habit of begging online every few days, but Chris has rejected this statement, leaving the actual extent of her munificence unclear. However much she has given to ease the Chandler budget, her money has done nothing to prevent Chris being further sued by two more creditors on 30 January 2020, making her a prime example to other would-be enablers that Chris's financial habits cannot be redeemed by outsiders, no matter how well-meaning their intentions may be.

Personality and beliefs

Hirschberg is an uncanny, grotesque mirror of Chris's various faults and failings from through the years. Both are in ill health and overweight, with greasy, unkept hair and failing kidneys, subsisting mostly on fast food. She is described by those who know her from real life as egotist, violent and cruel. She is obsessed with finding a romantic partner, to the point that she had joined the Mormons for no other purpose than to get a boyfriend until she was kicked out of their church. Before this, she was expelled from her childhood synagogue for proclaiming herself a god and prophet. She believes herself to have magic powers. She has no sense of financial responsibility, receiving a monthly tugboat and spending all of her money on children's toys. Before her tugboat, she had briefly worked two jobs, one of which she lost for scaring small children, the other having something to do with marketing. Despite having a certificate that proves her qualified for well-paying work, she is too lazy to pursue any. She has been persuaded to have sex with a computer for all to see. Both have experienced the wrath of guards trying to control their public outbursts and have been arrested in incidents involving poor conduct at video game shops. Like Chris, she lives in a home filled with rubbish enough to mount a serious fire hazard with a mother of questionable character who clothes her from second-hand shops and is interested in her child primarily for the revenue she "generates". They are both smelly.

Like Chris, Hirschberg is convinced in earnest that the Dimensional Merge and CWCville are real, and that Jacob Sockness's sorcery is really effective. Such detachment from reality long antedated any involvement with, or even exposure to, Chris, as noted above. Aly has several original characters, named Kobayashi, Zeke and Katy, whom she thinks in truth live in Chris's fantasyland. Moreover, Hirschberg believes that Sockness has visited her in her dreams.

Involvement with Chris

Hirschberg's original fundraiser for Chris: the former thought the money will bring him to London and Tokyo, while the latter had other designs for it.

“	England needs more cuties like @Too_Sexy4CWC.	”
Aly

For over a decade before she appeared to Christorians, Hirschberg succeeded in keeping a low profile when interacting with Chris. As early as 2008, they would exchange letters which contents have not yet been divulged. She would also, under the username SadisticLion, comment on Chris's original YouTube videos before they were taken down. When Chris turned to commercial enterprises to fill his empty pockets, she became (and remains) one of his anonymous customers, purchasing many of his wares offered on Etsy and eBay as would other exceptional individuals. Despite this involvement, she was only properly discovered in late August 2019, when she created a £5,000 fundraiser with the stated purpose of taking Chris on a world tour for his TRUE and LOYAL fanbase. This programme was unofficial, however, and Chris had not advertised it or even seemed aware of its existence; while he had expressed interest in visiting Britain and Japan before, this stunt would not attract him. As would other enablers watching on the sidelines in September 2019, she encouraged Jacob Sockness's ill-fated journey to Chris's home when he was in his good graces. For a long time, it appeared that Hirschberg was just one of many unremarkable wannabe weens, fated to pass by the wayside.

Chris acknowledged Aly in public for the first time when he discovered and re-tweeted the fundraising campaign on 6 October 2019, claiming the money was supposed to take care of his expenses for BABSCon. Curiously, Hischberg had created a separate fundraiser of £4,000 specifically for BABSCon, while the £5,000 campaign Chris provided on Twitter was the pre-existing one for this proposed world tour. Whether this was oversight or a deliberate grab for a thousand quid cannot be determined. Humorously enough, on 14 October, Chris tried again to share the link for the BABSCon fundraiser on Twitter, but botched it, only posting a partial, broken link. Aly had continued through October to jockey for Chris's attention since, offering to buy even more of his merchandise and pay the lion's share of his trip to BABSCon, and apparently courting Sockness with some success. She entered into private conversations with Sockness and Chris, which have not yet been released to the public. She would often pander to them while trying to inject herself into their relationship: calling them "lucky" to have each other, claiming that they were contemplating a "three-way relationship" and even inviting them to England for a "polyamourous orgy" (sic) with her, all despite not being genuinely interested in sex with him.

In early November 2019, Hirschberg temporarily forsook her fundraising campaigns and other plans for Chris, citing Kiwi Farms' backlash against her. Some weeks later she returned, buying merchandise from Chris's latest venture and claiming the more modest goal of helping ease the Financhu Crisis through a third fundraiser. She was among those whom Jacob Sockness deemed potential rivals for Chris's attention worthy of verbal abuse; she denounced him some days after Chris had, in late December 2019. Seeking to remain on Chris's good side, she shifted her attention to MKRNightVee, who for her own part remained as detached from her as from his nonsense, as their relations to Sockness soured.

Until February 2020, HIrschberg's Twitter account was protected, making it difficult to monitor her activities closely: she opened it to the public on 10 February to announce that she is hosting another e-mail inbox for Chris's legitimate business enquiries and fanmail, and taking charge of the Sonichu franchise's international arm. All of this seems to have been on her own initiative, with Chris apathetic save for the money she furnishes. Only time can tell whether she will regain Chris's attention at any time in future, or like many other enablers before her fade into obscurity.

See also

• List of Chris's financial enablers

References

    People