Difference between revisions of "2011"
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*With her cat and husband gone and her son in jail, [[Barbara Chandler]] attempts suicide, but due to her extreme size she is unable to kill herself and she expires in a mound of fecal matter. | *With her cat and husband gone and her son in jail, [[Barbara Chandler]] attempts suicide, but due to her extreme size she is unable to kill herself and she expires in a mound of fecal matter. | ||
*After being released from his three month sentence for the massacre of the Jerkops at the mall (damn court system, letting retards off the hook...), Chris dons a [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck]] suit, and beats several people to death with a stainless steel, industrial strength, pneumatic [[dildo]]. He is sentenced to 4 weeks of house arrest. | *After being released from his three month sentence for the massacre of the Jerkops at the mall (damn court system, letting retards off the hook...), Chris dons a [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck]] suit, and beats several people to death with a stainless steel, industrial strength, pneumatic [[dildo]]. He is sentenced to 4 weeks of house arrest. | ||
*[[Trolls]] manage to part Chris from his house trading him some "[[Wikipedia:Jack and the Beanstalk|magic beans]]" for it, and is turned into a pickle farm. | *[[Trolls]] manage to part Chris from his house by trading him some "[[Wikipedia:Jack and the Beanstalk|magic beans]]" for it, and it is turned into a pickle farm. | ||
*Chris | *Chris and Ryan Cash finally meet, and become locked in epic battle atop the local [[Wal-Mart]]. The fight ends when concerned citizens pelt Chris with [[pickles]] and get him to leave the innocent zombie-boy alone. | ||
*Chris kidnaps, rapes and murders every single ones of his past [[gal pal]]s and then attempts to create the perfect [[boyfriend-free girl]] by stitching together their various body parts and trying to reanimate them using his [[PS3]]. | |||
*''CWC the Movie'' picked up by Warner Bros and quickly becomes the most popular horror film of all time. | *''CWC the Movie'' picked up by Warner Bros and quickly becomes the most popular horror film of all time. | ||
*[[Patti-Chan]] is resurrected by Mayan shamans in preparation of the [[troll|13th baktun]], the end has begun. | *[[Patti-Chan]] is resurrected by Mayan shamans in preparation of the [[troll|13th baktun]], the end has begun. | ||
*Chris's carelessness after the kidnapping spree finally gives the Virginian state police the evidence to go after him. After a lengthy car chase in [[son-chu]] down the interstate, the police finally corner him at a [[McDonald's]], forcing Chris to make a last stand. As Chris steps out of the car brandishing the [[Megatron pistol]], Officer Baggett orders Chris to put the gun down. Chris replies "Down where? All that's down there is the ground" and starts charging a [[curse ye ha me ha]] attack. Police are forced to open fire. Footage of Chris being gunned down is broadcast live across the country, resulting in Bagget's promotion to police commissioner. | *Chris's carelessness after the kidnapping spree finally gives the Virginian state police the evidence to go after him. After a lengthy car chase in [[son-chu]] down the interstate, the police finally corner him at a [[McDonald's]], forcing Chris to make a last stand. As Chris steps out of the car brandishing the [[Megatron pistol]], Officer Baggett orders Chris to put the gun down. Chris replies "Down where? All that's down there is the ground" and starts charging a [[curse ye ha me ha]] attack. Police are forced to open fire. Footage of Chris being gunned down is broadcast live across the country, resulting in Bagget's promotion to police commissioner. | ||
*Chris, lying in the hospital and dying of his wounds, feels shame for the first time in his life, causing him to collapse into a singularity of self-loathing. He dies 5 seconds later. | *Chris, lying in the hospital and dying of his wounds, feels shame for the first time in his life, causing him to collapse into a singularity of self-loathing. He dies 5 seconds later. | ||
*Chris is | *Chris's body is sent off to NASA, who after extensive research discover that Chris really was a hedgehog all along. | ||
* | *On Christmas day 2011, scientists announce that they had created a cure for autism, derived from chemicals found in Christian's body. | ||
*Chris goes to Hell. He tries to argue that he was TRUE and HONEST, but instead only pisses off the other damned souls. | |||
*The CWC Saga is declared over, and trolls everywhere retire in peace to live happy sucessful lives. The CWCki is left up as a monument to Christian's fail, and Chris lives on forever as a mythical beast and a villian of children's fairytales. | |||
<gallery> | <gallery> | ||
Revision as of 18:54, 2 July 2010
File:FutureChris.jpg
Chris in 2011.
File:The toppling of Christian.jpg
February 24: A year after the proclamation of Christian Love Day, the citizens of CWCville revolt against their tyrant.
Things planned that will happen in 2011:
- Chris is trolled more. (obvious that one)
- Bob Chandler dies.
- Scampers runs away. (go go scampers! :3)
- High Functioning Autism is officially recognized by the American Psychological Association and listed in DSM-V.
- Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles & Sonichu the Game are released as Project Natal exclusive titles, earning CWC millions and mad poon, but at the compromise of his beliefs.
- Chris later sues Microsoft to cease publication of his game and port it to Wii and PS3. He loses the lawsuit and is ordered to repay all of the revenue he made from his games.
- Virginian police discover the corpse of a 14-year-old girl who had been raped in the woods. Inside her mouth, they discover a "boyfriend token". Numerous signs of trauma to her vagina are noticed. They also find traces of semen and Fanta on the corpse. However, the chemicals in the Fanta completely destroyed any DNA, hindering the investigation. Officer Marcus Baggett is put in charge of the investigation, and personally swears to "mercilessly hunt down" the perpetrator, and bring him to justice.
- Hasbro releases a board game based off CWC's life, dubbed "Kick the Autistic" which quickly becomes America's favorite game.
- The zombie of Ryan Cash comes back from the dead to exact revenge on Chris.
- On June 12, 2011, several trollettes encourage Chris to try heroin. Chris naturally throws out his morals and loves the feeling of the opiates.
- Chris goes to the Fashion Square Mall armed with a pickle-firing sniper rifle, a Nintendo DS and in a Virgin Rage, massacres several Jerkops and girlfriend un-free boys.
- Chris is sent to prison for three months for the massacre described above.
- Chris is raped by a bunch of niggos in jail and begins to realize he is indeed a homo.
- With her cat and husband gone and her son in jail, Barbara Chandler attempts suicide, but due to her extreme size she is unable to kill herself and she expires in a mound of fecal matter.
- After being released from his three month sentence for the massacre of the Jerkops at the mall (damn court system, letting retards off the hook...), Chris dons a Donald Duck suit, and beats several people to death with a stainless steel, industrial strength, pneumatic dildo. He is sentenced to 4 weeks of house arrest.
- Trolls manage to part Chris from his house by trading him some "magic beans" for it, and it is turned into a pickle farm.
- Chris and Ryan Cash finally meet, and become locked in epic battle atop the local Wal-Mart. The fight ends when concerned citizens pelt Chris with pickles and get him to leave the innocent zombie-boy alone.
- Chris kidnaps, rapes and murders every single ones of his past gal pals and then attempts to create the perfect boyfriend-free girl by stitching together their various body parts and trying to reanimate them using his PS3.
- CWC the Movie picked up by Warner Bros and quickly becomes the most popular horror film of all time.
- Patti-Chan is resurrected by Mayan shamans in preparation of the 13th baktun, the end has begun.
- Chris's carelessness after the kidnapping spree finally gives the Virginian state police the evidence to go after him. After a lengthy car chase in son-chu down the interstate, the police finally corner him at a McDonald's, forcing Chris to make a last stand. As Chris steps out of the car brandishing the Megatron pistol, Officer Baggett orders Chris to put the gun down. Chris replies "Down where? All that's down there is the ground" and starts charging a curse ye ha me ha attack. Police are forced to open fire. Footage of Chris being gunned down is broadcast live across the country, resulting in Bagget's promotion to police commissioner.
- Chris, lying in the hospital and dying of his wounds, feels shame for the first time in his life, causing him to collapse into a singularity of self-loathing. He dies 5 seconds later.
- Chris's body is sent off to NASA, who after extensive research discover that Chris really was a hedgehog all along.
- On Christmas day 2011, scientists announce that they had created a cure for autism, derived from chemicals found in Christian's body.
- Chris goes to Hell. He tries to argue that he was TRUE and HONEST, but instead only pisses off the other damned souls.
- The CWC Saga is declared over, and trolls everywhere retire in peace to live happy sucessful lives. The CWCki is left up as a monument to Christian's fail, and Chris lives on forever as a mythical beast and a villian of children's fairytales.
