2011
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
File:FutureChris.jpg
Chris in 2011
File:The toppling of Christian.jpg
February 24: A year after the proclamation of Christian Love Day, the citizens of CWCville revolt against their tyrant
Things planned that will happen in 2011:
- Scampers runs away. (go go Scampers! :3)
- Spore is finally ported to consoles. Chis immediately makes Sonichu and Rosechu creatures. In a fundamental misunderstanding of how the game works, Chris flips out when it appears Sonichu is having gay sex with a clone of himself. Chris accuses Will Wright of being a damn dirty troll.
- Bob Chandler finally goes to cut down the Internet in Heaven.
- High Functioning Autism is officially recognized by the American Psychological Association and listed in DSM-V.
- Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles & Sonichu the Game are released as Project Natal exclusive titles, earning Chris millions and mad poon, but at the compromise of his beliefs. Chris later sues Microsoft to cease publication of his game and port it to Wii and PS3. He loses the lawsuit and is ordered to repay all of the revenue he made from his games.
- Hasbro, in cooperation with The Miscreants, releases a board game based off CWC's life, dubbed "Kick the Autistic" which quickly becomes America's favorite game.
- Having made millions of dollars from their famous game, Clyde Cash is able to bring his organization back into the public. He then enlists the help of Jack Thaddeus and Webmaster Cogsdev to construct a network of proxy A.I.s to run all future trolling from then on out. Clyde is then allowed to retire in peace, knowing his brother's will had been carried on...
- With her cat and husband gone and her son a total failure, Barbara Chandler attempts suicide, but due to her extreme size she is unable to kill herself and she expires in a mound of fecal matter.
- Chris goes to the Charlottesville Mal-Wart armed with an IBA Chandler sniper rifle. In a fit of tard rage, he fires at several managers and girlfriend un-free boys, missing every time.
- Chris is sentenced to six months house arrest for his failed rampage. He starts storming YouTube with meaningless PSEye videos again and tries to convince women to come to his house.
- Chris is released from house arrest, and soon proceeds to run over two people with Son-Chu while pretending his car is a
Transformerwalking battle tank. - For his crime, Chris is sentenced to two years in prison. He struggles to STAY STRAIGHT, but is raped by niggos daily.
- Chris is let off after one month for good behavior, and is instead sentenced to house arrest, yet again...
- Virginian police discover the corpse of a 14-year-old girl who had been raped several miles from 14 Branchland Court. Numerous signs of trauma to her vagina, traces of semen and Fanta are found on the corpse. However, the chemicals in the Fanta completely destroyed any DNA, hindering the investigation. Officer Marcus Baggett is put in charge of the investigation, and personally swears to bring the perpetrator to justice.
- Chris kidnaps, rapes and murders nearly every single one of his past gal pals and then attempts to create the "Sweetheart from the Ground-Up" by stitching together their various body parts and tries to reanimate them using the Anchuent powers of his Amnyfest Ring, the Heart Torch of Fail, and his PS3. None of the methods work.
- Chris proceeds to instead stick the Heart Torch of Fail up his ass and creates Crystal, who later dies 5 seconds after seeing her father. Chris then rapes her corpse.
- After removing said object from his ass, he finds out at least 15 Pixelblocks are trapped in his ass. He is hospitalized for a week.
- Patti-Chan is resurrected by Maya shamans in preparation of the 13th baktun: the end has begun.
- Chris's carelessness after the kidnapping spree finally gives the Virginian state police the evidence to go after him. After a lengthy car chase in Son-Chu down the interstate, the police finally corner him at a McDonald's, forcing Chris to make a last stand. As Chris steps out of the car, brandishing a vintage WWII German pistol, Officer Baggett orders Chris to put the gun down. Chris replies "Down where? All that's down there is the ground" and starts charging a curse ye ha me ha attack. Police are forced to open fire. Footage of Chris being gunned down is broadcast live across the country, resulting in Bagget's promotion to police commissioner.
- Barbara's corpse is discovered during a search on their house, half-eaten by Kitty and a zombie-esque Patti.
- Chris, lying in the hospital and dying of his wounds, feels shame for the first time in his life, causing him to collapse into a singularity of self-loathing.
- The CWC Saga is declared over, and heroic trolls everywhere retire in peace to live happy successful lives. The CWCki is left up as a monument to Christian's fail.
- Chris's body is sent off to NASA, who after extensive research discover that Chris really was a hedgehog all along.
- On Christmas Day 2011, scientists announce that they had created a cure for autism, derived from chemicals found in Christian's body.
- CWC: The Movie is picked up by Warner Bros and quickly becomes the most popular film of all time, Cole Smithey tarnishes the film by giving it the only negative review.
