Difference between revisions of "2009"
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[[Image:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in '''2009''', [[April 16 Fetish Vids|keeping the fluids in]].]] | [[Image:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in '''2009''', [[April 16 Fetish Vids|keeping the fluids in]].]] | ||
[[Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg|thumb|Chris in '''2009''', [[Muscle bra|keeping the boobies in]].]] | [[Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg|thumb|Chris in '''2009''', [[Muscle bra|keeping the boobies in]].]] | ||
[[Image:2009.JPG|thumb|Graph showing the Google-popularity of | [[Image:2009.JPG|thumb|Graph showing the Google-popularity of the terms ''Sonichu'' and ''Christian Weston Chandler''. '''2009''' is marked in Mellow Yellow.]] | ||
[[Image:How-to-talk-to-girls-cover.jpg|thumb|Chris's [[How to Talk to Girls|literary pick of the year]].]] | [[Image:How-to-talk-to-girls-cover.jpg|thumb|Chris's [[How to Talk to Girls|literary pick of the year]].]] | ||
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|In '''[[January 2009]]''', Chris crushed his [[vibrator]] to show that he is straight.]] | [[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|In '''[[January 2009]]''', Chris crushed his [[vibrator]] to show that he is straight.]] | ||
Revision as of 20:18, 27 February 2010
Throughout 2009, Chris's life has been unreal and semi-controlled, facilitated by the apparent lack of know-how and interest in his life from his parents. The first, unsmooth, wave of trolling from 2008 has been replaced by a more organized, more obsessive and more complex second wave, leading to far-reaching insight into Chris's life, and things we can never unsee.
January
Christian Weston Chandler spent most of his time in January 2009 under the assumption that Shigeru Miyamoto and Reggie Fils-Aimé of Nintendo were in regular contact with him, arranging a partnership to create a series of video games based on Sonichu. This hoax primarily involved Miyamoto and Fils-Aimé asking Chris about his background, forcing Chris to explain away things like the information on his Encyclopedia Dramatica page. When asked to travel to Nintendo of America headquarters in Redmond, Washington, Chris continually stalled, until he finally disappeared from the internet for several days in late January, raising questions about whether he was really dumb enough to travel cross-country. However, his claims to have visited "Red Mond" were quickly exposed, and the Sonichu Alpha project collapsed shortly thereafter.
During this month, Chris's Sonichu.net website would be hacked, causing him to abandon it and launch Sonichu.info, which was then also immediately hacked.
On 5 January, Chris completed Episode 18, the long-awaited Spring Break feature of Sonichu 8, after being prompted by the suicide of Ryan Cash. Ryan's brother Clyde Cash would emerge this month, blaming Chris for Ryan's death and threatening to seek revenge. In time, both the Miyamoto saga and the website hacking would be attributed to the master plan of Clyde and his secret organization bent on ruining Chris's life, giving Chris an archenemy to rail against.
February
February 2009 saw several transitions for Christian Weston Chandler. His online relationship with PandaHalo, who supposedly lived in South Australia, ended when he decided she was killed by brushfires in Victoria (a location many hundreds of miles from her home, but never mind that). However, he would quickly bounce back, winning the heart of Julie in a relationship that would elicit far more disturbing revelations. Chris received official confirmation from Nintendo of America that he had not been in contact with Shigeru Miyamoto, formally ending that saga. That the trolls posing as Nintendo officials very nearly tricked him into traveling to Red Mond taught him nothing, though. By the end of February Chris really did travel all the way to Cleveland, Ohio in a futile effort to visit Julie.
March
March 2009 began with the conclusion of the Julie Saga, when Julie revealed to Chris that she was actually a thirteen-year-old boy known as BlueSpike. Chris didn't let this put him down, though , and shortly after this fiasco got in touch with Emily. His short relationship with her climaxed during a date at Charlottesville Fashion Square, where Chris was accompanied by his father. The date ended abruptly when Emily was taken away by the Man in the Pickle Suit, and the next day she called Chris to explain that she'd decided against any romantic relations with him. During this phone call Clyde Cash also broke in, frightening the Chandler family. March ended with Chris finding himself yet another sweetheart, Ivy, and during the month's last week he produced several videos that he dedicated to her. Leading up to the last days of March, Chris also started showing more and more rage towards Clyde Cash, and in the end even announced that he would leave YouTube for ever.
April
Throughout April 2009, Chris was strongly in love with his sweetheart Ivy. Although previously stating that he would quit YouTube forever, Chris returned to making videos within ten days of his departure. He uploaded several videos for Ivy, and also drew her a few comics. These new videos and comics showed more and more of Chris's sexually deviant side. As April continued, Chris was suddenly caught up in yet another scandal, as audio emerged of him having cyber-sex with a troll posing as movie star Vanessa Hudgens. Chris showed great remorse towards Ivy for his behavior, and attempted to turn the tables by proposing marriage. April ended with Chris in a severely disturbed relationship, doing all he could to cling to his latest sweetheart.
May
As May 2009 began, Chris still held a strong belief in his relationship with Ivy, and during the first two weeks uploaded even more videos dedicated to her. As a result, a number of mainstream media, including a TV series and talk-radio show, featured Chris, revealing his bizarre behavior to a massive new audience. On 14 May, things took another bad turn for Chris, when he found out that Ivy (surprise, surprise) was actually a troll. Thanks to this disapointment, during the last weeks of May, Chris decided to return to his earlier methods of pursuing a romantic relationship. He started going out in public again, and also posted a personal ad on Craigslist.
June
In June 2009, despite his 15 minutes of fame in May, Chris returned to relatively minor presence on the internet. A few field-agents befriended Chris, however, and started taking him out to bars. Several videos were leaked showing Chris enjoying the night-life with the trolls, and some footage even revealed that Chris had taken up drinking alcohol, a habit that he claimed to detest before actually giving it a try. In June Chris also began using CWCipedia, a sub-site of the CWCki, as his own site. Slowly Chris began writing original articles, thus adding tons of information about his life and philosophy that was unavailable beforehand.
July
In July 2009 Chris apparently continues his newfound, somewhat wilder, lifestyle, and more footage is leaked of Chris's activities in real life. Several photographs appear of him going to a bar with a heavy girl, and later on a video is shown of Chris hanging around in Charlottesville. As the month goes on, Chris suddenly takes interest in the saving of Charlottesvilles McIntire Park, a piece of public property that is in risk of being demolished. Chris manages to get himself on tv two times by behaving retardedly, but nobody really cares. Halfway through the month, a troll calling himself CChanSonichuCWC appears on YouTube, claiming that he is the copyrightholder of Sonichu, and that he is the real Christian Chandler. Chris doesn't take lightly to this threat, and as July draws to a close, the situation becomes grimmer and grimmer. On the last days of July, Chris initiates the SingStar Challenge, a singing competition that should determine who is the real Chris-Chan.
August
The first half of August 2009 is mainly filled with a large war between Chris and Liquid Chris about who is the real Christian Weston Chandler. Also, it is slowly becoming apparent that Chris has his eyes on Liquid's girlfriend, Kacey. Eventually Liquid backs off, and Chris has time to work on his comics again. As August draws to an end, however, Bob starts to complain to Chris about video footage of the messy Chandler household being on the internet, fearing that the city housing association could put them out of their house. Chris tries his best to get the trolls to take these videos down, but the more he pleads, the more the videos are actually spread. Eventually, Bob shouts at Chris for his incompetence. August ends with a short-lived attempt of Chris to get the trolls to believe that he has a split personality.
September
September 2009 starts with a small feud between Chris and the troll Vivian Gee, who created the Sonichu audiobooks and used to be his friend. The argument would end within a week with Chris throwing a fit, and Vivian mock-deleting her videos. Halfway through the month, however, Chris decides to upload a long series of Sonichu Videobooks, in which he reads the comics on film. This effort would take up pretty much all of Chris's time untill it was finished near the 20th. The last weeks of September would be filled with Chris raging at the trolls, most notably Clyde Cash and Gregg Mays.
October
The first two weeks of October 2009 would be mainly filled with Chris raging at trolls and trying to dispell rumours that he would be gay. Halfway the month, however, Liquid Chris reemerges, and Chris shifts some of his attention back to his old enemy. The last half of the month is filled with Chris raging at Liquid, and him trying to take away Liquid's girlfriend, Kacey, by showing his strength. However, Chris also takes his time to unfold a complex and mysterious attempt at blackmailing Clyde Cash.
November
Chris opened the month of November 2009 with a bang, uploading a staggeringly tone-deaf parody of the September 11 terrorist attacks to YouTube as part of his abortive campaign to blackmail Clyde Cash. This outrage was soon overshadowed by the total collapse of his relationship with Kacey, as chronicled in a pair of leaked phone calls that showed Chris at his desperate, dishonest, sniveling worst. However, he recovered from these setbacks with aplomb - after acquiring what he believes is an official government seal of approval for Sonichu's copyright, Chris once again embarked on his quest to turn the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon into a multimedia empire. Towards the end of the month, Chris began to update the comic on an almost daily basis and answering the Mailbag on CWCipedia.
December
Chris started the month answering the mailbag, but with shorter, less-enthusiastic answers. He also created additional "rejected" mailbags to handle questions that made him feel uncomfortable - namely, those dealing with homosexuality and autism. Chris would also publish a vitriolic screed against people with Asperger's Syndrome. Chris would upload several disturbing YouTube videos: one with him performing a baffling improvised rap that suggested he was a drug-crazed rapist, another rap video where he was painted up like an Insane Clown Posse groupie, and 10 minutes of him playing with homemade Lego figurines of Sonichu and Rosechu. Chris tried his hand at writing a story again, and after spending six hours writing A Sonichu Christmas Story (which consisted of a few rough, unedited paragraphs) tried to finish the story in comic form. It dragged on past Christmas day. Unflattering photos of Chris appeared on a Times Square Billboard: all real pictures of him drinking his semen and such except for one where he was Photoshopped into a gay bar. Chris was also infuriated by increasingly explicit pro-gay banner ads which appeared on CWCipedia. He would direct his hatred at Jack Thaddeus, who would be the subject of video death threats on Christmas Day. Chris would close out the year by going batshit insane about the gay ads and mailing a letter to President Barack Obama requesting that the gay ads be made illegal.
