2012

Things ~~planned~~ that will happen in 2012:

Chris in 2012

February 24: Two years after the proclamation of Christian Love Day, the citizens of CWCville revolt against their tyrant, undoing all the damage done in his "crusade of honesty"

File:Sonichuspore1.png

"ALL Sonichus are STRAIGHT!"

SPOILER ALERT: Chris still won't have a girlfriend
Scampers runs away. (go go Scampers! :3)
Bob Chandler finally kicks the bucket. He then goes on to successfully cut down the Internet in Heaven.
Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles & Sonichu the Game are released as Kinect exclusive titles, earning Chris millions and mad poon, but at the compromise of his beliefs. Chris later sues Microsoft to cease publication of his game and port it to Wii and PS3. He loses the lawsuit and is ordered to repay all of the revenue he made from his games.
Hasbro, in cooperation with The Miscreants, releases a board game based off CWC's life, dubbed "Kick the Autistic" which quickly becomes America's favorite game.
Having made millions of dollars from their famous game, Clyde Cash is able to bring his organization back into the public. He then enlists the help of Jack Thaddeus and Webmaster Cogsdev to construct a network of proxy A.I.s to run all future organized trolling from then on out. Clyde is then allowed to retire in peace, knowing his brother's will has been carried on...
With her cat and husband gone and her son a total failure, Barbara Chandler attempts suicide, but due to her extreme size she is unable to kill herself and she expires in a mound of fecal matter.
Chris goes to the Charlottesville Mal-Wart armed with an IBA Chandler sniper rifle. In a fit of tard rage, he fires at several managers and girlfriend un-free boys, missing every time.
Chris is sentenced to six months house arrest for his failed rampage. He starts storming YouTube with meaningless PSEye videos again and tries to convince women to come to his house.
Chris is released from house arrest, and soon proceeds to run over two people with Son-Chu while pretending his car is a ~~Transformer~~ walking battle tank.
For his crime, Chris is sentenced to two years in prison. He struggles to STAY STRAIGHT, but is raped by niggos daily.
Chris is let off after one month for good behavior, and is instead sentenced to house arrest, yet again...
Virginian police discover the corpse of a 14-year-old girl who had been raped several miles from 14 Branchland Court. Numerous signs of trauma to her vagina, traces of semen and Fanta are found on the corpse, and pieces of Crayola model magic are found shoved up her anus. However, the chemicals in the Fanta completely destroyed any DNA, hindering the investigation. Decorated officer Marcus Baggett is put in charge of the investigation, and personally swears to bring the perpetrator to justice.
Chris kidnaps, rapes and murders nearly every single one of his past gal pals and then attempts to create the "Sweetheart from the Ground-Up" by stitching together their various body parts and tries to reanimate them using the Anchuent powers of his Amnyfest Ring, the Heart Torch of Fail, and his PS3. None of the methods work.
Chris proceeds to instead stick the Heart Torch of Fail up his ass and creates Crystal, who later dies 5 seconds after seeing her father. Chris then rapes her corpse.
After removing said object from his ass, he finds out at least 15 Pixelblocks are trapped in his ass. He is hospitalized for a week.
Patti-Chan is resurrected by Maya shamans in preparation of the 13th baktun: the end has begun.
Chris's carelessness after the kidnapping spree finally gives the Virginian state police the evidence to go after him. After a lengthy car chase in Son-Chu down the interstate, the police finally corner him at a McDonald's, forcing Chris to make a last stand. As Chris steps out of the car, brandishing a vintage WWII German pistol, Officer Bagget orders Chris to put the gun down. Chris replies "Down where? All that's down there is the ground" and starts charging a curse ye ha me ha attack. Police are forced to open fire. Footage of Chris being gunned down is broadcast live across the country, resulting in Bagget's promotion to police commissioner.
Barbara's corpse is discovered during a search on their house, half-eaten by Kitty and a zombie-esque Patti.
Chris, lying in the hospital and dying of his wounds, feels shame for the first time in his life, causing him to collapse into a singularity of self-loathing.
The CWC Saga is declared over, and heroic trolls everywhere retire in peace to live happy successful lives. The CWCki is left up as a monument to Christian's fail.
Chris's body is sent off to NASA, who, after extensive research, discover that Chris's rectum contained an environment so volatile that it spawned the first recorded traces of Silicon-Based Life.
Chris-Chan: An Autistic Odyssey is picked up by Warner Bros and quickly becomes the most popular horror film of all time (starring Philip Seymour Hoffman as Chris, Clint Eastwood as Bob, Kathy Bates as Barbara, Ulliel Gaspard as Liquid, Emma Watson as Kacey, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino as Clyde Cash, Ken Leung as Mao, Jason Scott Lee as Surfshack Tito, Ashley Tisdale as Sarah Hammer, Ellen Page as Megan, Samuel L. Jackson as Jerkhief, Tom Baker as Michael Snyder, Judi Dench as Mary Lee Walsh, Jim Cummings as the voice of a CGI Count Graduon, Lucy Liu as Vivian Gee, Bruce Willis as Cole Smithey and Jaleel White as the voice of Sonichu and Rosechu). Cole tarnishes the film by giving it the only negative review.
On December 21st, Patti returns from beyond the grave to feast on the souls of all humanity. In two brief hours, most of the planet is reduced to cinders, and from the ashes of devastation, a new world order, aided by Clyde Cash and the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler, will arise, and civilization will enter into a new golden era.

Sonichu in 2012.
Rosechu in 2012.
Angelica Rosechu in 2012.
What Simonla Rosechu could have looked like in 2012.

2012

Navigation menu

Search