2009

File:2009.JPG

Graph showing the Google-popularity of the terms Sonichu (red) and Christian Weston Chandler (blue). 2009 is marked in Mellow Yellow.

Chris's literary pick of the year.

Throughout 2009, the life of Christian Weston Chandler became unreal and semi-controlled, facilitated by the apparent lack of know-how and interest in his life from his parents. The first, unsmooth, wave of trolling from 2008 was replaced by a more organized, more obsessive and more complex second wave, leading to far-reaching insight into Chris's life, and things we can never unsee.

January

In January 2009, Chris crushed his vibrator to show that he is straight.

Main article: January 2009

Christ spent most of his time in January under the assumption that Shigeru Miyamoto and Reggie Fils-Aimé of Nintendo were in regular contact with him, arranging a partnership to create a series of video games based on Sonichu and asking Chris about his background, forcing him to explain away things like the information on his ED page. During this month, Chris's Sonichu.net website would be hacked, causing him to abandon it and launch Sonichu.info, which was then also immediately hacked. Chris also completed the long-awaited Spring Break feature of Sonichu 8, after being prompted by the suicide of Ryan Cash. Ryan's brother Clyde Cash would emerge later this month, blaming Chris for Ryan's death and threatening to seek revenge. In time, both the Miyamoto saga and the website hacking would be attributed to the master plan of Clyde and his secret organization bent on ruining Chris's life, giving Chris an archenemy to rail against.

February

In February 2009, footage was leaked of Chris and Kimmi having an intimate moment.

Main article: February 2009

February saw several transitions for our hero. His online relationship with PandaHalo, who supposedly lived in South Australia, ended when he decided she was killed by brushfires. However, Chris would quickly bounce back, winning the heart of Julie in a relationship that would elicit far more disturbing revelations. That the trolls posing as Nintendo officials very nearly tricked him into traveling to Redmond taught him nothing, though. By the end of February Chris really did travel all the way to Cleveland, Ohio in a futile effort to visit Julie.

March

In March 2009, Chris gave us a tour of his house.

Main article: March 2009

March began with the conclusion of the Julie saga, when Julie revealed to Chris that she was actually a 13-year-old boy known as BlueSpike. Chris didn't let this put him down, though, and shortly after this fiasco got in touch with Emily. His short relationship with her climaxed during a date at Charlottesville Fashion Square, where Chris was accompanied by his father, however the date ended abruptly when Emily was taken away by the Man in the Pickle Suit. March ended with Chris finding himself yet another sweetheart, Ivy, and during the month's last week he produced several videos that he dedicated to her. Leading up to the last days of March, Chris also started showing more and more rage towards Clyde Cash, and in the end even announced that he would leave YouTube forever.

April

In April 2009 footage is leaked of Chris wearing butt garments.

Main article: April 2009

Throughout April, Chris was strongly in love with his sweetheart Ivy. Although previously stating that he would quit YouTube forever, Chris returned to making videos within 10 days of his departure. He uploaded several videos for Ivy, and also drew her a few comics; the new material showed more and more of Chris's sexually deviant side. As April continued, Chris was suddenly caught up in yet another scandal, as audio emerged of him having cyber-sex with a troll posing as movie star Vanessa Hudgens. Chris showed great remorse towards Ivy for his behavior, and attempted to turn the tables by proposing marriage. April ended with Chris in a severely disturbed relationship, doing all he could to cling to his latest sweetheart.

May

In May 2009, Chris is holding out for an hero.

Main article: May 2009

As May began, Chris still held a strong belief in his relationship with Ivy, and during the first two weeks uploaded even more videos dedicated to her. As a result, a number of mainstream media, including a TV series and talk-radio show, featured Chris, revealing his bizarre behavior to a massive new audience. On 14 May, things took another bad turn for Chris, when he found out that Ivy (surprise, surprise) was actually a troll. Thanks to this disappointment, during the last weeks of May, Chris decided to return to his earlier methods of pursuing a romantic relationship and started going out in public again.

June

In June 2009, Chris starts working on his own wiki.

Main article: June 2009

In June, despite his 15 minutes of fame in May, Chris returned to relatively minor presence on the Internet. A few field agents befriended Chris, however, and started taking him out to bars. Several videos were leaked showing Chris enjoying the night-life with the trolls, and some footage even revealed that Chris had taken up drinking alcohol, a habit that he claimed to detest before actually giving it a try. In June Chris also began using CWCipedia, a sub-site of the CWCki, as his own site. Slowly Chris began writing original articles, thus adding tons of information about his life and philosophy that was unavailable beforehand.

Julay

In July 2009, Chris is spotted with a female.

Main article: July 2009

In July Chris apparently continues his newfound, somewhat wilder, lifestyle, and more footage is leaked of Chris's activities in real life. Several photographs appear of him going to a bar with a heavy girl, and later on a video is shown of Chris hanging around in Charlottesville. As the month goes on, Chris suddenly takes interest in the saving of Charlottesville's McIntire Park; Chris manages to get himself on TV two times by behaving retardedly, but nobody really cares. Halfway through the month, the man known only as Liquid Chris appears on YouTube, claiming that he is the copyright holder of Sonichu, and that he is the real Christian Chandler. Chris doesn't take lightly to this threat, and as July draws to a close, the situation becomes grimmer and grimmer. On the last days of July, Chris initiates the SingStar Challenge, a singing competition that should determine who is the real Chris-Chan.

August

In August 2009, Liquid Chris responds to Chris's SingStar Challenge.

Main article: August 2009

The first half of August is mainly filled with a large war between Chris and Liquid Chris about who is the real Christian Weston Chandler, but it is also slowly becoming apparent that Chris has his eyes on Liquid's girlfriend, Kacey. Eventually Liquid backs off, and Chris has time to work on his comics again. As August draws to an end, however, Bob starts to complain to Chris about video footage of the messy Chandler household being on the Internet, fearing that the city housing association could put them out of their house. Chris tries his best to take these videos down, but the more he pleads, the more the videos are actually spread; eventually, Bob shouts at Chris for his incompetence - online. August ends with a short-lived attempt of Chris to get the trolls to believe that he has a split personality.

September

In September 2009, Chris puts two of his gitars on eBay.

Main article: September 2009

September started with a small feud between Chris and the troll Vivian Gee, who created the Sonichu Audiobooks and used to be his friend; the argument would end within a week with Chris throwing a fit, and Vivian mock-deleting her videos. Halfway through the month, however, Chris decided to upload a long series of Sonichu Videobooks, in which he read the comics on film. This effort would take up pretty much all of Chris's time until it was finished near the 20th. The last weeks of September would be filled with Chris raging at the trolls, most notably Clyde Cash and Gregg Mays.

October

In October 2009, Chris buys his first "muscle bra".

Main article: October 2009

The first two weeks of October were mainly filled with Chris raging at trolls and trying to dispel rumors that he was gay. Halfway the month, however, Liquid Chris re-emerged, and Chris shifted some of his attention back to his old enemy. The last half of the month was filled with Chris raging at Liquid, and him trying to take away Liquid's girlfriend, Kacey, by showing his strength. However, Chris also took his time to unfold a complex and mysterious attempt at blackmailing Clyde Cash.

November

In November 2009 Chris notices ads like this on his website.

Main article: November 2009

Chris opened the month of November with a bang, uploading a staggeringly tone-deaf parody of the September 11 terrorist attacks to YouTube as part of his abortive campaign to blackmail Clyde Cash. This outrage was soon overshadowed by the total collapse of his relationship with Kacey, as chronicled in a pair of leaked phone calls that showed Chris at his desperate, dishonest, sniveling worst. However, he recovered from these setbacks with aplomb - after acquiring what he believes is an official government seal of approval for Sonichu's copyright, Chris once again embarked on his quest to turn the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon into a multimedia empire. Towards the end of the month, Chris began to update the comic on an almost daily basis and answering the Mailbag on CWCipedia.

December

In December 2009 Chris spits a rape rap.

Main article: December 2009

Chris started the month answering the Mailbag, but with shorter, less-enthusiastic answers. He also created additional "rejected" mail to handle questions that made him feel uncomfortable - namely, those dealing with homosexuality and autism. He would also publish a vitriolic screed against people with Asperger's Syndrome and upload several disturbing YouTube videos. Unflattering photos of him appeared on a Times Square Billboard, mostly real pictures of him drinking his semen, and he was also further infuriated by increasingly explicit pro-gay banner ads which appeared on CWCipedia, prompting him to write a letter to President Barack Obama requesting that the gay ads be made illegal. On December 7, after more than one year in making, Sonichu 9 was finally completed.