Difference between revisions of "Jerkhief"
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[[Image:JerkhiefProfile.jpg|thumb|200px|His wooden badge looks delicious.]] | [[Image:JerkhiefProfile.jpg|thumb|200px|His wooden badge looks delicious.]] | ||
'''Jerkhief''' (pronounced {{IPA|[ˈdʒɝ.kiːf]}} "jur-keef"<ref>[[Sonichu 3 Official Videobook]]</ref>) is the [[Niggos|black]] leader of the [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] known best for uttering [[Random-access humor|nonsensical phrases]] such as "My wooden badge was delicious!" or "MY SOUL HURTS!" in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]. Jerkhief is based on a real-life mall security guard who chased Chris out of the mall for having his [[Attraction Sign]] on full display and apparently creeping out the people in front of [[GameStop]]. [[Christian Weston | '''Jerkhief''' (pronounced {{IPA|[ˈdʒɝ.kiːf]}} "jur-keef"<ref>[[Sonichu 3 Official Videobook]]</ref>) is the [[Niggos|black]] leader of the [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] known best for uttering [[Random-access humor|nonsensical phrases]] such as "My wooden badge was delicious!" or "MY SOUL HURTS!" in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]. Jerkhief is based on a real-life mall security guard who chased Chris out of the mall for having his [[Attraction Sign]] on full display and apparently creeping out the people in front of [[GameStop]]. [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] has put Jerkhief's weight at [[Obesity|three-quarters of a ton]], [[Honor roll|failing to understand]] that [[Chris and reality|someone that obese would barely be able to move]]. | ||
In ''[[Sub-Episode 1]]'', Jerkhief interrupted [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|CWC]]'s [[Love Quest]] and told him to stop soliciting like any sane person would. Chris was adamant about his quest and refused to leave. So, he beat up a bunch of Jerkops, but then Jerkhief activated his mecha battle armor. Unfortunately, he could not overcome the power of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. This whole "Jerkop-Tastropie" took place in [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. | In ''[[Sub-Episode 1]]'', Jerkhief interrupted [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|CWC]]'s [[Love Quest]] and told him to stop soliciting like any sane person would. Chris was adamant about his quest and refused to leave. So, he beat up a bunch of Jerkops, but then Jerkhief activated his mecha battle armor. Unfortunately, he could not overcome the power of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. This whole "Jerkop-Tastropie" took place in [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. | ||
Revision as of 16:09, 8 September 2017
Jerkhief (pronounced [ˈdʒɝ.kiːf] "jur-keef"[1]) is the black leader of the Jerkops known best for uttering nonsensical phrases such as "My wooden badge was delicious!" or "MY SOUL HURTS!" in Sonichu #4. Jerkhief is based on a real-life mall security guard who chased Chris out of the mall for having his Attraction Sign on full display and apparently creeping out the people in front of GameStop. Chris has put Jerkhief's weight at three-quarters of a ton, failing to understand that someone that obese would barely be able to move.
In Sub-Episode 1, Jerkhief interrupted CWC's Love Quest and told him to stop soliciting like any sane person would. Chris was adamant about his quest and refused to leave. So, he beat up a bunch of Jerkops, but then Jerkhief activated his mecha battle armor. Unfortunately, he could not overcome the power of Chris-chan Sonichu. This whole "Jerkop-Tastropie" took place in CWCville Shopping Center.
"My wooden badge was delicious!"
As one of the things that has utterly baffled readers, someone was courageous enough to ask Chris this in an IRC chat and Chris explained its meaning:
| “ | the Jerkhief has a Badge made from TREE wood, painted to look like an "official" police badge, and the Jerkops under him have Badges made from Graham Crackers, painted to be the mockery badges as well. The Jerkhief portrayed on the cover took a bite out of his wooden badge, as if it was made from a Graham Cracker, and called it delicious like a Graham Cracker...which you would have learned that from the "Backyard Safari" Sub-Episode. | ” |
This is backed up by Sonichu Issue 4, pages 55-56. Even with the explanation, it is strange for Jerkhief to compare the taste of tree bark to a sweet treat.
Gallery
Official Chris-approved game sprite from JK Productions.
You certainly aren't alone, Jerkhief.
See also:
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